Holding Hands on the Way Down
by celticann
Summary: CJ and Danny. Starts with the night after Leo's death as depicted in Requiem and goes forward for as long as they both shall live. Ratings will vary
1. By way of explanation

Back in March, if you had told me that I would be writing fanfiction instead of just reading it, I would have laughed in your face. However, the story of CJ and Danny fascinates me and I am compelled to put my ideas in writing.

I'm too old to write angst, as life is too short, so there will be very little pain and suffering for them in my little universe.

Because in "Crackpots", CJ tells Josh "I'm Catholic", not "I used to be Catholic" or "I was raised Catholic" and because Danny went to Notre Dame when the student body was about 90 Catholic, in my universe they are Catholic "faithful, fallen, or in between.

I'll try to stick with the canon but may have to add some touches.

Maybe it's because the show is so good, but I feel I suck at actual "put words in people's mouths between two quote marks" dialog. (I also get very confused about how the punctuation works). I also don't feel comfortable writing sex scenes. I like them very much, and read a lot of them. It must be my Catholic guilt, but if Andrew Greeley can write them, why can't I?

Update: it's apparent that most of these scenes are about CJ and Danny talking. As long as they continue to talk, I think they will make it for the long haul.

Feedback is always welcomed, and for me, feedback includes pointing out typos, spelling, usage, and grammatical mistakes, errors about something I've incorporated into a story, etc. I want to be as accurate as possible. My research role model is Diana Gabaldon, but then, she's a multi-best selling author and I'm just having fun.

Please tell me what you think!

The characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, et. al., but they consume my soul

Addenda: 7/2/2006

John Hoynes has always fascinated me. I think he is the most complex character in TWW universe. Part of what makes him so believable is that the Hoynes persona is exactly what Eric Stratton would have become (IMHO). Don't be surprised if he plays a part from time to time.

If I wasa surprised back in May that I would be writing fanfiction, I was absolutely astounded when some of the others began to bother my muse, as it were. That is how the 5 interludes had their birth. In particular, Donna's story totally floored me. I had always been part of the "leave Josh and Donna the way they are until the end of the show" school of thought, but, looking back, the split was necessary for Donna to grow. And I truly do believe that she will and that, in TWW universe, what I wrote about her will occur.

I also must confess that I do need to bring one more piece of angst into CJ and Danny's life together; right now it is sitting in "Time out of Joint". Now I know how Sorkin felt about introducing MS into 'He Shall, from Time to Time'.

**Author Notes:** Revised June 2007:

Until April 2006, I could never have imagined myself writing fan fiction, even for a television show I loved as much as I loved, and still love, The West Wing.

However, the four CJ/Danny shows of season seven – "The Ticket", "Internal Displacement", "Requiem", and "Institutional Memory" -- began to tug at my psyche. At first, it was a small tug, wondering what that "first time" to which "Requiem" alluded was like, and I wrote "Genesis 1:27". Then I began to wonder about what happened after Danny said "What else?" in "Institutional Memory", and "Twelfth of Never" was born.

In the forums, some of us felt we had been cheated by the little snippets we had been given. But then, we began to realize that by leaving us with only hints, the owners of CJ and Danny gave us the right to let our imaginations take CJ and Danny to so many dimensions, to so many variants of our own West Wing universes. And we also began to talk of a CJ/Danny spin-off, much like "Frasier" arose from the ashes of "Cheers".

"Holding Hands on the Way Down" is my own little attempt at such a series. The basis of it is Danny's statement "You're gonna get good at it; we're both gonna get good at new things."

I started out wanting to write only CJ and Danny, but a funny thing happened along the way. Some of the other West Wing folk came to me and wanted me to tell their stories. CJ and Danny were not the only people who would get good at new things.Also, the new people in CJ and Danny's life also said "I think you should talk about me, develop me, flesh out me."

And then came the day that I brought back into CJ's life an old love, and a second series, totally alternative and "not gonna happen", has also ensorcelled my muse. This second series ("Fold in Gently") has allowed me to explore my ideas on how to make my Celtic mysticism work with my Catholic faith, how to explore the idea that there are "more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy".

Writing this series has given me a new passion in life. My old passion, my career, is winding down – by September 2013, I hope to be retired from my life's work. My new passion, creative writing, may never go beyond these pieces of fan fiction, and will certainly never see professional print, but it moves my soul.

I want to thank everyone for their input, especially Eleanor, who has given me so much advice and so many suggestions for improvement. My intention is, as I get the chance, to make improvements to the chapters posted in The National Library. However, I intend to leave the chapters as posted on as they are, to show how I have improved (at least I think I've improved) as a writer over the past 200,000 plus words.


	2. Genesis 1:27

**Genesis 1:27**

CJ/Danny. Maybe PG-13. Spoilers: through "Requiem.  
The characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, et. al. Depending on your beliefs, the quotes belong to someone unknown, to Moses, or to God.

She stretched carefully, not wanting to wake him or to move from the warmth of his arm draped over her. So this is what it is supposed to feel like. How could she have ever imagined? She felt calm, secure, safe. She felt protected and cherished. This was beyond any question of gender, equality, or societal role.

Yet, from that day almost seven years ago when, with the gentle authority of a man secure in his masculinity, his hand cupped the back of her head and silenced her babbling with his mouth, something in her knew that it would be this way.

Her mind went back seven months. She had been in New Hampshire with the First Family for Easter weekend and decided, on a whim, to go with them to Easter Vigil services. As a child, her family had never done what they called "Easter Midnight Mass", preferring to go to the late morning Mass on Sunday, and, as an adult "Christmas and Easter Catholic", she continued the practice on those occasions when she needed the "fix".

Zoey explained that they would start outside the church where a fire would be lit.The Easter Candle would be lit from that fire and then carried into the darkened church by the deacon. The servers would light tapers from the candle and as the congregation entered the building, they would light their tapers from those held by the servers. There would be seven readings from the Old Testament, ("Fourteen if you count the psalms that are sung after each of them", Annie chimed in), all read in darkness by a tiny penlight over the lectionary. Then the lights would come on and the Gloria would be sung. There would be an epistle, a gospel, and a homily. Any non-baptized converts would be baptized and those converts who had already been baptized in another Christian faith would formally accept the teachings of the church. The rest of Mass would follow. It would take close to three hours. "Dad always does the parting of the Red Sea reading", Ellie added.

But it was not the President's voice intoning "The Egyptians shall know that I am the Lord" she was remembering. It was that of the middle-aged woman who read the creation story as if it were a tale of awe and wonder.

"Male and female he created them"


	3. Twelfth of Never

**The Twelfth of Never**

CJ/Danny. Spoilers through "Institutional Memory"

The characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, et. al. J Johnny Mathis belongs to the ages.

Twelfth of Never --copyright 1957 Paul Francis Webster, Jerry Livingston

He had just finished washing his hands when he noticed that he had left the toilet seat in an upright position. Correcting the situation and rewashing, he laughed to himself, "She's not the only one that will need training." Then the emotional rollercoaster of the day hit him and he began to tremble. He made his way back to the bed and sat down carefully, not wanting to disturb the woman sleeping so peacefully beside him.

He wasn't sure what would happen when her Secret Service escort knocked on his door earlier that evening. He knew he had convinced her that they could make it work when she kept pulling at her coat sash and asked him if she should take one of the board of directors positions, but he also knew that he had to make sure that she knew he didn't want to run her life, he wanted their lives to run alongside each other. As she nodded her head in response to his simple questions, he knew he had gotten through.

Tomorrow she would tell Matt Santos "no". When he was taking off her scarf and coat, she had asked him if he wanted to go with her to the OEOB. He had been about to tell her that he trusted her when he realized that in the indirect manner of so many women, she wanted him with her when she told the President-elect that she was putting herself ahead of country this time. There weren't going to be many times when this amazing creature would need him in the role of "protector/defender", but when she did, he wanted to assume it. Matt Santos, Josh Lyman and Sam Seaborn would know that they would not be able to bully or cajole his lady. He blushed as he realized that he sounded like the stereotypical hero of a historical romance with Fabio on the cover, and had to admit that maybe, once in a blue moon, it wasn't that bad a persona to assume. If the Lord hadn't wanted men to protect their women from other men every once in a while, then He shouldn't have created testosterone.

As he drifted off to sleep, he entered that state where dreams and semi-conscious imagination intertwine. His imagination soared and the possibilities of their life together unfolded like a digital slideshow.

Her voice, at the same time both shaky and confident, saying, "with this ring I thee wed", slipping the band on his finger.

Her profile, her head draped with an Irish lace mantilla, as she convinced a prince of Dubai to match Hollis' $10 billion in seed money.

Walking into the bathroom after a particularly frustrating day with his publisher and seeing the pregnancy testing kit on the vanity.

Lying in bed with her, a little gift of God between them, marveling at perfect though miniature ears, wondering how slowly the next six weeks would pass. Watching her glow and her slow smile at the dedication of the Bartlet Library whenever their eyes met.

Standing behind the son with her eyes, already almost 4 feet tall and not yet 3 years old, helping him to go to the bathroom "like a big boy".

Sitting on the glider on the deck watching the sun set into the ocean, his son asleep in his lap, his wife beside him under his arm, his daughter in his wife's arms, her ten tiny fingernails grasping at the breast that was nourishing her.

Watching his wife address the UN on C-SPAN when his daughter comes up to shyly tell him that she's started her first period.

Helping the 14 year-old son who already towered above him understand that he will never really understand women, remembering how he helped a then shy young man in the White House in much the same way, and wondering if that now-powerful member of the Democratic party also remembered.

Standing in the back of the church, his white hair in sharp contrast to the black of his tuxedo, waiting to escort the suddenly grown up princess with his red locks and his wife's smile to the man who said he wanted to make her as happy as her father had made her mother.

Her hands, now covered with a fine net of wrinkles, as she changed the décor of the fishbowl holding Gail's great-grandchildren.

Suddenly, he was back in his parent's house at age 5. Angie, the babysitter, was playing her 45's on his parent's Magnavox stereo console. The sweet sounds of Johnny Mathis' voice came up the staircase:

_"You ask how much I need you, must I explain?  
I need you, oh my darling, like roses need rain.  
You ask how long I'll love you, I'll tell you true:  
Until the twelfth of never, I'll still be loving you."_


	4. Testosterone

**Testosterone **

CJ/Danny, others.

Maybe PG-13.

Spoilers: through "Institutional Memory"

Based on Toby's statements about the powerful men in CJ's life and how that might have affected her personal relationships with men. Also, for some reason, I keep remembering the "SouthPark" episode where Bebe grows breasts and all the little boys in class start acting like rutting stags around her.

The characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, et. al.

"The Surrendered Spouse" was the title of a book in a L&O episode. There is a RL book called "The Surrendered Wife", but I like the alliteration of the former.

John Blackwood Ryan, Ph.D. belongs to Andrew Greeley

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Margaret had just phoned to tell him that CJ would be meeting with Santos at 2:00 that afternoon; the phone rang again almost instantaneously. It was Debbie Fiderer. "The President like a few minutes of your time this morning, Danny. Would 11:00 be convenient?"

He stopped by Maragaret's desk on the way. "Would you tell her that I've been summoned to the Oval?", he asked. "I'll check by when I'm done".

After being escorted into the President's office, he asked, "Good morning, sir. It's always a pleasure to speak with you, but I'm not sure -- are we on the record?"

"No, Danny, we're off the record. Although in another sense I think we're very much on the record. CJ told me of Hollis' offer, and the one from Santos, and your plans." The President then proceeded to put him through the classic "what are your intentions?" scenario.

"With all due respect, sir, is this really any of your concern?"

"Look, Danny, I don't know whether it's because Talmadge Cregg is no longer capable of doing this himself or because I'm itching to carry out statements I made to Doug Westin some 20 years ago or because I went though it with Abbey's father, but every other guy had to go through it and now it's your turn, so just remember, the 82nd -- oh, damn!"

"Sir?"

"I just remembered I won't be Commander-in-Chief after a few more days."

He decided the best thing to do was to play along, so he replied, "Well, if it help, I love her, sir, one 'Domer to another".

"Yeah, well, I'm really happy for the both of you and I know Abbey will be kvelling as if you were her own. By the way, when the time comes, if you need any pull in getting the Grotto for the wedding--".

"I'm playing that subject by ear, Mr. President, and, in any event, I'm not sure that either of us would want to make our way back to the church".

"Sure you do. I saw her face at Easter last spring, and I've seen yours at Red Mass. You both want back in, even though no one ever really kicked you out. Look, when you're ready, there's a guy who will help the two of you with whatever idiotic things the hierarchy has done to hurt you". He pressed the intercom. "Debbie, get me Bishop Ryan in Chicago". Two seconds later, the phone buzzed. "Blackie? Jed. Listen, I'm going to be sending you a guy and a gal that need your insight. I don't know when they'll be contacting you, but when they do, as your boss is so fond of saying, 'Handle it' ".

Walking back to the Chief of Staff's area, he heard Charlie calling his name. "Hey, Danny, come on in. Listen, there's been some talk going 'round and I just want to say that if I ever hear of her being jerked around, I don't know how I'd do it but..." Margaret poke her head in the door and gestured to him before he could react to this latest incursion into his love life.

"Matt Santos, Josh, and Sam are on their way over here now", she said, walking him to CJ's office, "oh, and the President says not to worry. He'll remind his successor that he has the planes for the next week or so.

He reached her office a minute or two before the others, squeezed her hand in encouragement. "Congressman," he greeted the man. "Hey, Josh. Sam, it's good to see you again".

For a second, Matt, Josh, and Sam looked at each other uncertainly. "Danny, would you mind", Josh said. She immediately objected, "I want Danny to sta-", when he interrupted, "No problem". He stared into her eyes intently. "I'll be just outside; holler if you need me". Then he reached over, gently swept the lock of hair that had fallen over her face, tucked it behind her left ear, and left the room.

Though no sound was made, the reaction of the other three men was palpable. He could have no more clearly demonstrated his role in her life had he kissed her and touched her intimately. He could have no more decisively thrown down the gauntlet had he stepped in front of her with drawn sword.

He took a seat beside Margaret, who seemed to be staring at her watch. About 4 minutes later, Mrs.Bartlet came into the area. Margaret got up and knocked on the door. "Excuse me, sir, but the President would like to speak with you. And, Josh, Debbie said to tell you that Donna needs you to call her. Will needs you in the Briefing Room for a few minutes, CJ".

"Sam!", Mrs. Bartlet exclaimed, "welcome back! Come on, let's get caught up."

Thinking about the look on Matt Santos' face as he stormed out of her office, he decided that it might be best if he and she took more than a week or two to decompress in California and whatever their next step would be, it shouldn't involve staying in DC.

Sam came back from his conversation with the First Lady. "Hey, Danny, not for nothing but if you".

"Look", he interrupted, "Charlie already did the Farmer Ted and Jake scene from _Sixteen Candles_, so you needn't repeat it".

"I didn't think I needed to put it in words, Danny, it went without saying", Sam replied in that dismissive I-am-a-product-of-Princeton-and-Duke-and-a-White-Anglo-Saxon-Protestant-male voice he could do so well when he felt it was necessary. "What I was leading up to was to offer you the use of my condo while the two of you are in LA. It's right on the marina, I'll have my cleaning lady stock the frig, you can use my boat."

"We'll have to talk it over, but thanks".

"Hey, Danny", Josh walked up to them. "Lets to get a beer".

Josh played with the bowl of pretzels on the bar. "I don't know, Danny, I never figured you for the macho he-man dictating all the rules type."

He leaned over his pint toward the Chief of Staff to be, quiet anger in his voice. "Counting the campaign, you've known her for nine years. Does she strike you as the surrendered spouse type? We talk about how we can make things work, but she makes her own choices, and to think anything else ..."

Not quite ready to give up and trying another tactic, Josh tried to smooth over the situation. "Maybe, but I've never seen her so glowing, so relaxed, so at ease. Whatever it is you're doing.. "

"I'll take credit for the glow and maybe the relaxation," he laughed, "but the peace of mind and the quiet assurance is hers and hers alone."

Josh waved a hand in defeat. "Okay, whatever. Hey, when you said 'spouse'..?"

"Tiny steps, Josh, tiny steps. I'm a very patient man."

He walked out of the bar, hoping that she would be by early tonight and that she wouldn't be too tired. Or he might lose some of that patience.


	5. On the Job Training

**On the Job Training**

CJ/Danny, others.

R-17 but nothing more than you get in a standard paperback romance.

Spoilers: through "Institutional Memory".

The characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, et. al.

Takes place before, during, and after "Testosterone", but should be read after it..

She awoke to her name being spoken in her ear, along with a slight tickling sensation and a rush of warmth breath against it. She felt better than she had in a very long time. Burrowing against the side of the man next to her, she asked him what time it was. He told her it was early, only 5:30, but she didn't have a bag with her last night and he didn't know if she needed to go to her place or if she had clothes in the office . She told him that she did have a clean outfit at the White House, and then she noticed that she was wearing her camisole and her underpants as nightclothes and said she hoped she could get by with grubby underwear. He offered to lend her a pair of his boxers. She thought fast; the skirt at work was a full one, not form-fitting, so, feeling the blush he couldn't see in the half-light, she took him up on the offer.

He told her to go back to sleep, when, her arm brushing against his groin, she realized that she didn't remember much of anything from the previsou night after being fed toast and scrambled eggs. He must have undressed her and put her to bed after she had fallen asleep. She reached up and pulled his head down to hers and moved her pelvis into contact with his. He obviously agreed to a better use of the time as he reached over to the nightstand beside the bed. She stopped him, reminding him that it had been 10 days since she started taking the pills Millicent Griffith had prescribed; they didn't need backup protection anymore.

Maybe it was because there was no tension in the back of his mind; maybe it was because this was the first time they didn't have that thin layer of latex between them. In any event, he was fast -- too fast. Self-deprecating, he said he would fix it and began to caress her. She opened wide to him and, with her hand on his, moved his thumb a little bit one way, his middle finger a little bit another way, and showed him where he should press a little lighter, and where a little harder. They were still so new to each other's bodies. She felt the pressure build there, but suddenly, it was gone, and she still had that aching, empty feeling. He knew it; she knew he knew it; and he knew that she knew that he knew it. This time, the apologies he murmurred into her neck held pathos and frustration. There wasn't time to start again. She pulled up his face, kissed his nose, and told him that it would be okay; he could make it up to her that evening.

As they dressed, they made their plans. He might wander by the Press Corps offices later in the morning. She had meetings in the morning so the confrontation with Santos would be in the afternoon. She would have Margaret let him know when. Other than that, her afternoon was light and she should be done at a civilized hour. He told her that his sister had postponed her trip into town and that he would pick up some salad and some fish for that night. He would also get her a toothbrush. Then his eyes developed that impish little gleam she was beginning to recognize and he asked her if he should also get her a package of those disposable pull-up Depends. She threw a pillow at him and told him to not get fish; instead she wanted him to pick up a whole frying chicken, a lemon, some fresh rosemary, and one of those disposable aluminum foil baking pans. She would send someone to her place to pick up a couple more outfits, including something casual.

She was standing by Margaret's desk discussing a briefing report with Charlie when the secretary told her that Josh was on the line. Without really thinking, she took the call on Margaret's phone. Josh told her how glad he was that she would be working with him again. She told Josh that that she had not agreed to be a part of the Santos administration and that, in fact, she would be turning down the position when they met a 2:00 that afternoon. Hanging up, she told Margaret to let Danny know about the time, asked her to send someone for the clothes, and to get the stuff from yesterday sent to the cleaners.

After she went over the day's plans with the President, he told her that he heard that she would be working for his successor. Feeling frustrated, she told him that Santos was presuming too much, and in confidence told him of Hollis' offer and about what was transpiring with her and Danny. He was delighted for her and asked her the wedding would be. She said that they hadn't yet talked about that much of a commitment, but admitted, under his persistent questioning, that she hoped the subject would be raised shortly. In a wistful voice, she told him that she wished her father was able to understand that she finally had the chance for the happiness he had always wanted for her. She also told him that Matt Santos seemed to be adapting to presidential power quite well and she asked him a say a little prayer that all went reasonably well that afternoon. The president said something cryptic about advice Admiral Fitzwallace had given him, something about changing venues and setting up diversions to confuse an opposing force.

She spent the rest of her morning discussing transition memoes with senior staff, writing some letters of reccomendation, and other incidental details.

About 12:30, Margaret came to tell her that Sam had called. There had been a change of plans. Several UN ambassadors were in town and that Santos, Arnold Vinnick, and Nancy McNally would be with them all afternoon. He, Josh, and the congressman were meeting in the Sit Room right now with the joint chiefs and would be up in about 15 minutes to talk with her. She asked Margaret to try to reach Danny. The secretary let her know that Danny had been with the President and that she would find him.

Two minutes later, he walked in, kissed her briefly, and began a casual conversation with her and Margaret as Matt, Josh, and Sam entered her office.

She was calm and collected and she must have transmitted that to Danny because when Josh asked Danny to leave she started to protest but Danny quickly took charge of the situation. She thanked the president-to-be for the honor of asking her. She told them of Hollis' offer and that she felt she could do more good in that position. She said that she had a chance to have what she had observed between the Bartlets and that it would be easier away from Washington. When Santos commented that he didn't think that bolstering Danny's ego and sense of worth was more important than serving her country, she told him that Danny's ego and sense of worth had always been in perfect operating condition but that she would overlook the insult to herself and to Danny. Over Josh's audible gasp, she began to put a more positive tone on the meeting. If he really needed institutional memory, if he needed the advice of someone who truly understood the complex issue that was the governance of this nation, he should look no further than his home state. If he was innovative and forward-thinking enough to offer State to Arnold Vinnick, if he believed in the possibility of redemption as taught by their shared religion, surely there was room in his circle of senior counselors for John Hoynes.

Before they could comment on her suggestion, Margaret interrupted and the four of them went their separate ways. When she got to Will, the press corps was there with a cake and some presents. Chris took her aside and told her that she wished her a long and happy life with Danny. When she started to protest, Chris reminded her that she was talking with a journalist.

Later in the afternoon, she called together her staff and let them know about accepting Hollis' offer. Once things were settled, she would let them all know how they could help if they wished.

Getting ready to leave for the day, she had a sudden whim and picked two roses out of the bouquet on the credenza. She told her detail that before going to Danny's, she wanted to stop at Arlington. In the dusky fog, she found Simon's grave and placed the flowers on it.

When he opened the door to the apartment for her and her detail, the controlled rage in the room frightened her. Not for herself, she knew instinctively that if wasn't directed at her, but the intensity was so thick. As soon as the agent closed the door behind him, he opened her coat and pulled her close up against him. She could feel him trembling as he held her, one arm around her shoulders, the other around her hips. She raised her head and started to ask him what had caused all this when he kissed her forehead and said that they would talk later. First he wanted to take care of the unfinished business of the morning.

It was exquisite. He was so gentle as he caused her to dance, first on his fingers, then on his tongue, and she was more than ready when he was. But she could sense that the fire and the rage were still there. Opening her eyes, she saw that he still had need of her and reached for him. The second time was different. He wasn't rough or abrupt but she could feel the demons pouring out of him as he took her.

When it was over, he briefly told her of his encounters with the men in her life -- the president as father figure, Charlie as devoted little brother, Sam as the "you're my best friend but she's my sister and she comes first" guy,Matt Santos and Josh Lyman as rejected suitors. When he walked in the door, there was a message on his answering machine from Toby, wanting to meet with him tomorrow. Beside the phone, the piercing gaze of Leo McGarry reached him from the stack of half-read magazines. About 15 minutes before she came home, he looked out into the darkening street and would almost swear that he saw Simon Donovan staring through him. He didn't notice her slight shiver at this last statement. He told her that even while the agent was still in the apartment, it was all he could do to keep himself from bending her over, face down, on the table, her skirt up at her waist, her underwear (well, his underwear, really) down at her ankles, and burying his -- she stopped him with a kiss. She told him that she would call Toby in the morning. Breathing a now relaxed sigh, he said that, no he would talk with him, that he was beginning to accept this rite of passage. She deserved to have people care about her; he would be ready to deal with Hollis and with her brother when the time came. But if her paperboy tried to stick his two cents' in, all bets were off.

Later that night, after they had showered and eaten, they were back on the bed. They were sharing between them a single pair of green silk pajamas with Notre Dame logos -- she in the tops, he in the bottoms. He told her it was time for "training". She told him about her conversation with the President and he told her about his. Neither of them mentioned his comments about their future together but they both knew that the subject would come up soon. She gave him the details of her conversation with Matt Santos and he marveled at the brilliance of her suggestion regarding the former vice-president. He noticed an undercurrent of distress at the mention of John Hoynes and decided that very soon, he needed to let her know that he knew. He didn't care, but he didn't want her fretting over it. She told him about the sudden dispersement of the group and he told her of the hastily constructed but well-executed plan he saw enacted in the outer office. He went into more detail about his conversations with the President, Charlie, and Josh. She told him about Chris. They weighed Sam's offer and decided that after a week or two in a hotel/resort setting, it might be good to adjust to everyday domesticity away from the city and a still smoldering new president. Margaret or Carol would babysit for Gail. They decided that for the next two weeks, she should continue to come to his place and opposed to moving back and forth. He would clear out a couple of drawers for her.

Then he asked her if there was anything else.

Taking a deep breath, she focused her gaze on that safe territory south of his eyes and north of his groin, and told him that she thought that sometime, under the right circumstances, being bent over the table face down sounded like a fun place to be.


	6. Nicest Saturday in a Really Long Time

**The Nicest Saturday in a Really Long Time**

CJ/Danny/others. R-rated

Spoilers: through "Institutional Memory".

The characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, et. al. I had to make some assumptions about Danny's sister. I don't proclaim them as part of the canon.

Feedback welcomed.

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It was the nicest Saturday in a really long time.

Two previous times that morning she had awakened, starting at 5:00, only to turn over, burrow down into the dark warmth of the covers, closer to her man, breathing in the smell of him, of their lovemaking, of the steam heat of the older building. Finally, at 7:30, she gave into the regimen of the past eight years, got up, pulled on some sweatpants and slippers, pulled her hair back into a stretchie, and ambled into the kitchen. She pulled out her phone and called Debbie, asking her to have the President call her at his convenience. Thirty seconds later, Abbey Bartlet was returning her call. She explained the situation to Mrs. Bartlet, who immediately told her not to worry, she would see to it that her husband would not bother her unless absolutely necessary. Jokingly, the First Lady told her that if her phone did ring, to stop off at a church and go to confession before coming in, because the world would be coming to an end.

She rummaged around the kitchen, trying to find something suitable for breakfast. Surprisingly (but, then, everything about Danny was surprising), there were eggs, fresh milk, butter, bread, even a spice tin of cinnamon. If only he had syrup, she could make french toast. Then, spying the jar of raspberry preserves, she figured she could mix some with water, put it in the microwave, and -- voila! -- breakfast. As the bread was soaking in the egg mix, she started a pot of coffee and popped her pill. Hearing stirring sounds coming from the bedroom, she poured two cups of coffee, added milk to hers, and carried them to the bed.

They ate breakfast. He made some comment about her purple sweatpants with the bright green pajama top and she told him that she couldn't stand it when her bare skin stuck to wood or plastic. They read the paper, lying on opposite ends of the couch. They played paper, rock, scissors for the right to work the Sudoku (he won).

They made gentle love in the sunlit bedroom. Afterwards, he asked her what kind of hotel or such she would like for their first week or so in California. She told him that she really wanted the solitude of someplace like the island in the ocean off Australia where Rachel Ward and Richard Chamberlain did their thing in _The Thorn Birds,_ but she also wanted housekeeping and room service. He told her that he didn't think it existed, but he would check with the Australian Embassy.

His sister had called later last night and said that she and her husband were flying in -- they found someone to take care of the girls and as a pilot for Aer Lingus, he was able to get standby seats from Shannon to Dulles rather easily. After lunch, she would go home for a few hours, get a nice dinner dress, and whatever else she would need to at least get herself to work Monday morning.

They showered together, got dressed, and had lunch in a small cafe, and then split up for the rest of the afternoon. She would be back by 7:00 or so in time to make their 8:00 reservations. He was going to stop by GU to see an old classmate who was now teaching there.

On the way to her place, she spotted a church and felt an overwhelming urge to stop in, and let her driver and detail know. She went up to the statue of the Virgin, an icon in the Polish/Russian style, and lit a candle. "Please help me to do this right, "she prayed. She lit another candle for her parents, the mother who was already in heaven and the father whose mind was there but whose body still lingered. Other people started coming in, Mass was starting, and she decided to stay. The entrance hymn was one they had sung at Hogan's Confirmation, and she felt as if the second stanza was speaking to her directly:  
_" Radiant risen from the water, robed in holiness and light, male and female in God's image, male and female, God's delight"  
_But the third verse was definitely some sort of answer to her prayer:  
_"Trust the goodness of creation; trust the Spirit strong within. Dare to dream the vision promised, sprung from seed of what has been."_

Once she reached her place, she packed quickly for Sunday and Monday, showered and did her hair and makeup. She spent a long time picking out a dress, shoes, jewelry. She really wanted Danny's family to like her. Okay, the brother-in-law, maybe not so much, but his sister was really important.

And then, at 6:30, her phone rang. It was the President himself. No, it wasn't extremely serious, he swore on his grandchildrens' heads that she would be out of there by 7:30, she could say no and he would understand, but it sort of concerned Leo.

She tried to reach Danny, but his line was busy, so she headed down to the car with her bag and tried again. He picked up on the first ring. The President had also called him directly, had given him the same assurances. They would meet her at the restaurant.

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It was the nicest Saturday in a really long time.

He woke to mingling smells of coffee, her perfume, and his semen. The latter was not just a matter of smell but also one of touch; now that he didn't have to encase himself in latex before joining with her, there were a few tiny spots of crusty residue.The memory of her eyes last night as he took herover the edge three times before giving himself over to it casued him to smile in self-satisfaction. He hadn't felt this good about himself in a long time.As he pushed up on the bed, she brought him coffee and sat crossed legged with him.The green top and purple pants reminded him of Wimbledon, but the black fuzzy slippers really made the outfit. Her hair was haphazardly pulled into some sort of top knot. He thought of all the state occasions he had seen her grace over the past 8 years and knew that she had never appeared more beautiful as she did this morning.

They ate french toast with raspberry jam syrup. They lay at opposite ends of the couch, each with a foot lightly resting on the other's genitals, reading the paper.

He pulled her up and led her back into the bedroom. It was a brilliant winter morning, as only such a morning, with bright blue sky and lots of white snow on the ground, can be. The sun, still low in the sky as it was only 3 weeks or so past the solstice, was coming right into the bedroom window. It lit her all over as she sat there straddling his thighs. He looked up at her, the light glistened off her hair, he thought of Stephen Foster and he knew what his special secret name for her would be.

They talked about California and she talked about Australia. He thought to himself that great, now he had to live up to the image of a movie star, who, whatever his private life was to the contrary, was the ultimate romantic dream guy for a whole generation of women. So much for the self-saisfaction of earlier in the morning.He joked about making love on the beach and said something about sand getting into her bikini bottom; she told him that she didn't wear bikini bottoms,she couldn't stand all that waxing, that her bathing suits had something called "boy shorts" legs. However, they did have low-riding waists and halter tops.

Last night, he pulled every string he could think of and finally got a table at one of the nicest, highest profile restaurants in town. Tonight would be more than introducing CJ to his family; it would be their first really public appearance together in a town where they were both very well known. He better get his grey suit to the one-hour cleaners; hell, he better stop at the barber shop for trims for his hair and his beard. An email arrived from the local Aer Lingus office; his sister and brother-in-law would be staying in a hotel in the same general area as the restaurant.

They walked the streets of Georgetown, holding hands in public for the first time. They ate lunch in a small place and ran into only 3 or 4 aquaintances. Then she left with her detail and he dealt with his suit and his grooming.

He went to see his old Notre Dame buddy, catching up and teasing him about deserting the Holy Cross fathers by becoming a Jesuit. Tim's phone rang; could he fill in at the chapel for the priest who got violently ill while vesting for Mass? He couldn't refuse the invitation to join him; this would be the first time he would see Tim preside.

He slipped easily into the ritual. He prayed for the wisdom to do the right things to keep the woman he had waited for so long in his life. The recessional hymn was a modernization of an old revival hymn and he thought that the second chorus was God's response to his prayer:  
_"No storm can shake my inmost calm __While to that rock I'm clinging;  
Since love is lord of Heav'n and earth,  
How can I keep from singing?"_

His love for her was his rock.

He picked up his suit from the cleaners and went home. Feeling a little like the subject of a "Queer Eye" episode, he showered, put on some cologne, and got dressed. Luckily, the barber had shaved him so he didn't have to worry about knicks and what direction in which to shave. Also, they guy had already put "product" on his hair. CJ called and said she planned to be there by 7:00. He called the Post's travel editor and asked for some information on places to stay in California. Then he logged onto the netand did some research of his own.

At 6:35 his phone rang. President Bartlet was totally apologetic. Lord Marbury had picked up some horrible bug while trying to keep the Indian sub-continent at bay at the start of the Khazakhstani crisis and had just been released from the hospital last week. He had missed Leo's funeral and wanted to meet with everyone to share his grief and sympathies. If Danny didn't have to deal with his family, he would have been invited also. Did he mind? Then the First Lady grabbed the phone and reassured Danny that she would get CJ out of the White House as quickly as possible. And that she was sending over something to make it up to him.

He reassured CJ when she called, arranged for a cab to pick him up at 7:15, and did a little more research.

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It was the nicest Saturday in a really long time.

Erin MacDonald was sitting in the restaurant with her brother and her husband, awaiting the arrival of the fourth person in their party. Her kids were with Robin's sister on a junket to Scotland, some sort of munro bagging, whatever that was. By sheer luck, their standby seats from Shannon had been in first class with all the perks, and Robin had managed to get them comped into a very nice room. On the trip over, Robin had to wear his pilot's uniform in order to get the free fares, but his navy suit suited him much better.

The room was filled with many faces she recognized from TV and newspapers, and so many of those faces came to their table to speak with her brother, to congratulate him, to wish him well, both with his writing and with his love life. She had been introduced to Vice-President Russell, to the publisher of the Washington Post, to senators, to congressional representatives, to cabinet members.

Her brother's cell rang and he grimaced slightly as he answered it. "Yes, ma'am, I understand. " Pause. "Your husband talked too long in the Sit Room about some arcane bit of trivia and is a jackass." Pause. "You will have my girlfriend here in less than 15 minutes. May I speak with her? Thanks, Abbey." Her baby brother was calling the First Lady by her first name? Then he was speaking again. "Listen, if Her Majesty's ambassador to the United States starts acting as he often does, you make damn sure that it's the First Lady's rack he's grabbing, not yours." Then, apparently realizing where he was and with whom, he blushed and said, "We'll be here when you get here", and hung up.

He looked so nice, so handsome, so happy as more people came by the table. Then, two men in dark suits entered the restaurant, walked around the room and came to stand against pillars near their table. One of them spoke into his wrist.

Erin had seen her many times on TV because she watched the briefings for a sight of her brother. She handed her coat to the maitre d' and looked in the direction of his gesture. As she walked toward the table, her brother rose, and his face lit up so brightly. She nudged Robin to stand also. The woman looked taller and thinner than she did on TV. She was wearing a burgundy wool wrap dress with matching heels. People tried to stop her as she made her way to the table and she was polite, but she never stopped and never really took her eyes from her brother's face. She glowed; that was the only way to describe it. As the woman drew closer, she could see only simple gold jewelry, a pin in the shape of a goldfish, some small hoop earrings, a watch. When she reached the table, she and Danny kissed lightly. Then she turned to them, held out a hand to each of them and said "I'm so very sorry for being late. I'm CJ. I can't tell you how glad I am to meet you."

The meal was wonderful. Wine flowed freely. Conversation was easy and natural. And all the while, CJ's eyes never really left her brother's face. More people came up to talk with them, to shake his hand, to kiss her cheek, and to be introduced to her and Robin. She met Senator Vinnick. She even met Justice Mendoza. There was a slight sense of underplay when former Vice-President Hoynes stopped by briefly as he left the room, but that was quickly overshadowed by the arrival of a half-dozen more men in black talking into their wrists. She heard one of them say "Send bookbag through."

President Bartlet's youngest daughter came into the restaurant, followed by a very tall handsome young black man. She spied them and immediately came to their table. They were introduced to Zoey and to Charlie Young. Zoey kissed both CJ and Danny. Charley kissed CJ, saying "Nice going, boss lady" and shook Danny's hand. "Fine lookin' woman you got there." Zoey told them she was happy for them for more than one reason. "Dad's so happy, it's taken some of the pressure off of me. We've been a little out of sorts since he caught Charlie leaving my room last summ--", she broke off suddenly. "Don't worry, Danny laughed, "you're not on record. Besides, I feel a little responsible for the two of you anyway, since I gave Charlie expert dating advice, so even if you were, I didn't hear what I just heard. By the way, Charlie, congrats on law school." "Yeah", the young man replied,"I'll be an impoverished student in he fall. After tonight, when I treat my lady to a fancy meal, it'll be when I put cornflakes on top of the Kraft mac and cheese and put it in the oven instead of serving it right out of the sauce pan". As they were leaving for their table, Zoey handed Danny a box. "Mom said that although it's for CJ, it's really for you. It's a special garment for barbequing."

Robin excused himself and went to speak to the maitre d'. They had decided to get the bill for this dinner and although it would probably run well above $600, they still intended to do so. However, she saw that the man was shaking his head at her husband.

When Danny asked to sign for the meal, the maitre d' came over and handed Danny a thick piece of stationery. He opened it, read it, and handed it to CJ. Even if Erin hadn't really wanted to snoop, it was hard to miss the Texas state seal and the bold black lettering.

_"The President reminded me that he still has the planes and also that presidents need to heed Lord Acton's warning._

_And my wife called me an idiot; she's usually right about these things._

_Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa._

_Matt Santos"._

As they left the restaurant, they made plans to meet tomorrow for brunch. She kissed her brother and then she kissed the woman that she hoped just might become her sister-in-law.

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It was the nicest Saturday in a really long time.

He carried her bag up the stairs, she carried the box from the First Lady. As soon as her detail checked out the apartment, he took off his jacket and tie, undid his cufflinks, kicked off his shoes. They opened the box together. It was, as expected, lingerie. He told her to go change into it. While she was gone, he poured out two brandies. He wished he had thought to lay a fire before he left earlier that evening.

She came back into the room, shyer than he had ever seen her before. She was literally breath-taking. It was full-length, midnight blue silk, toga style. It was little more than a sheet, really. There were little buttons holding the open side together under her left arm down to her hip, but the rest of that side was open. If he pulled on the bow that fastened over her left shoulder, the entire thing would fall at her feet.

They sipped their brandy. Then he took the glass from her hand and led her to the couch. For the first time, he regretted her height. He wished she were short enough that if he pulled her into his lap, her head would fit into his shoulder, instead of his head fitting smack into her boobs (not that he minded having his head there). Instead he sat her down beside him and began to kiss her. Light kisses, kisses on her eyes, her ears, her nose, all over her face. Kisses on her shoulders, on her neck, kisses down her arms, kisses on each of her fingers, kisses on each of her palms.

It was the nicest Saturday in a really long time. And he prayed to God, he prayed to the celtic deities of his ancestry, he prayed to every god or goddess of love in every mythology he had ever heard of, he asked all the men in heaven who had ever loved a woman as he loved this one to pray for him, that it still would be so after the next minute.

He took her face between his hands and gently told her that he couldn't bear the pain and the glimpse of fear in her eyes anymore, and that that was the only reason he was telling her that he knew about her and Hoynes.

She literally deflated, her shoulders fell. The embarassment overwhelmed her eyes. She didn't cry. But neither did she shut up. She talked and talked and talked about how it was the only thing she had done with a man that left her ashamed. She babbled on and on about how, even in her wildest days, she never took another girl's guy, she was never with more than one guy at a time, she never slept with a guy without proof that she wasn't pregnant from the last one. She stood up as she continued to talk, to apologize over and over. He stood up with her, held her. He kept stroking her hair, crooning, begging, "Jeanie, Jeanie, Jeanie, don't, we don't ever have to talk about it again. Only Steve and Mark and Katie know and they won't say anything, won't write anything, Jeanie. He didn't put it in his book, he didn't mention it during the campaign when the other stuff all came out. Jeanie, Jeanie, Jeanie, in my gut I don't think it will ever come out. He knows that you got him the counsel position with Santos and thanks you for it, I could feel it tonight. I love you, Jeanie, Jeanie, Jeanie." He considered swatting her ass to get her attention but didn't want to do anything that might even hint at recrimination. Finally, he remembered what shut her up 7 years ago, grabbed the back of her head, and kissed her mouth until she was quiet and calm.

They sat down again, this time with her feet tucked under her and her body on enough of a slant so that her head did fit into his shoulder.

"Jeanie?", she asked, "Where did **that** come from?" And he began to sing "I dream of Jeanie with the light brown hair". He told her, "This morning, in the sunlight, it just seemed to suit you. Do you mind? It'll be just between us."

And they talked. She told him of the wonderful things that Lord Marbury had said about Leo. Right as she was leaving, Helen Santos came in with Donna and he said that while he was saddened that the Lord was taking away Abbey, he was gladdened to see that the Lord saw fit to provide a suitable replacement. He told her of what he had found out so far about California. The places right on the ocean near LA and San Diego were pretty much all attached suites. There were some separate bungalow-type places near Big Sur and up near the Russian River, but the weather wasn't exactly warm up there. There were some hotel/spa places in the desert. There was one place in the hills around San Diego with private bungalow-type places. Each cottage had its own terrace with both a hot tub and a kind of mini pool about 9 by 12 by 4 feet deep, you couldn't really swim in it but you could sit in the cool water, float aroundor do other things. The staff would do room service or there was a mini-kichenette and they would bring things to you if you wanted to cook for yourself. She liked the sound of that. Neither said anything about their religious interludes. He talked about maybe going out a day or two before her. He could talk with his publishers and the editors and get that part out of the way so there would be nothing between them and relaxation after the 20th. She did some counting on her fingers and swore. When he asked her what was wrong, she said that the pills Millie prescribed for her were the 3 week on, 1 week off kind, and with this being day 11 and with 12 days left until she was no longer COS... He laughed and told her that he thought he could survive. She told him that she didn't know if she could.

All of a sudden, she started shaking and sobbing. All he could do was hold her. After about 30 seconds, it stopped. "What was that about?", he asked. She said that it hit her how close she had come to not coming to see him two nights ago. There was a song, a kind of one-hit wonder thing about 15 years ago, the lyrics were really trite and dumb, but she sometimes feared that one part might describe her future

_"I've been to Nice and the isles of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht_

_I moved like Harlow in 'Monte Carlo' and showed 'em what I've got. _

_I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things that a woman ain't s'posed to see _

_I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me."_

"I'm just so glad you never gave up on me", she said.

"CJ", he replied, " this isn't really a very good analogy but did you ever read Kazantzakis' _Last Temptation of Christ_?"

"I saw the movie", she replied, "but the book was so ...disturbing., I could never move than 1/3 of the way thorugh it."

"Well, just like Satan was going to try absolutely anything and everything, up to the last possible picosecond, to keep Christ from dying for us, I was not going to give up on you. EVER."

"Me as Christ and you as Satan," she sniffed, "shouldn't the roles be reversed?"

This time, he did swat her ass, playfully. They finished their brandy and went to the bedroom, where he pulled at the bow.

------------------------------------------------------------------------  
"Sing a New Church" -- Sr. Delores Dufner, OSB

"How Can I Keep from Singing" -- original version Robert Lowery

"Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely"  
-- John Emerich Edward Dalberg-Acton, 1st Baron Acton

"Jeanie with the Light Brown Hair" -- Stephen Foster

"I've Never Been to Me" -- Ron Miller


	7. Time is Relative

**Time Is Relative**

CJ/Danny

R to X Rated.

Spoilers through "Tomorrow"

They aren't mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul..

Feedback welcomed

To my knowledge the resort in the San Diego area doesn't exist, but I wish it did exist somewhere.

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It was Groundhog Day evening. They were on the terrace, the remains of the meal ordered from the resort restaurant on the table behind them as they looked over the hills toward the bay and the ocean.

Was it really less than 2 weeks since she had left Washington? It seemed so long ago.

Carol had driven her to the airport, and, taking her coat ("You won't be needing that") and giving her a small carryon bag with some paperback romances and some Godiva ("Margaret says the only thing better than reading smut by the side of the pool is reading smut by the side of the pool while eating chocolate"), she pushed her toward the check-in counter. Her ticket had been upgraded to first class; the agent handed her a note that said "Enjoy! Josh and Sam".

Some 6 hours later she was resisting the urge to break out into a run as she saw him at the baggage claim carousel where her things would be.

Driving down to San Diego, she told him that Franklin Hollis told her not to call him until April 1; what he was proposing was important, but nothing she would be doing with him would have the urgency she had experienced over the last year or so as the President's COS.

Between the jet lag, the sense of relief, and the mild cramping, the first two days were very laid back, and his solicitude for her "condition", as he called it, was totally sweet. Afterwards, they were more active, touring some of the missions, spending some time on (and in) the ocean, played some golf and tennis. On the fifth day, he picked up one of the books that Carol and Margaret had given her. roaring with laughter, he decided that they should act out each of the sex scenes in the book and then start on another one. If they finished all the ones she had ("Fat chance, Fishboy, some of these ladies put them in every 8 pages"), they would buy some more.

The day after tomorrow, they would drive back to LA and move into Sam's place.

Suddenly, he grabbed both her hands in his, kissed her knuckles. "Sweet Lord in heaven, CJ, do you have any conception how much I love you"? He slid onto his knees before her. "Marry me, Jeanie. Take my name, don't take my name, but please take me, take my love, take whatever is in store for us, marry me". He reached into his pocket. "This was my grandmother's. When we get to the city, we'll get you something you want, something like those rings you all were looking at when Ellie was getting married, but wear this until then. Please marry me, CJ". He slipped it on her finger.

Her thoughts tumbled out and around her mind. They had danced around the subject for the past 12 days. Casual questions about houses they passed on the road, questions about education when they passed a group of kids in Catholic school uniforms. Did she want to remain Claudia Jean Cregg after the wedding or did she want to become Claudia Cregg Concannon? She would be who she was, no matter what. She remembered some 20 years ago when one of her senior-year suite-mates was asked the same question in the dorm. "The way I look at it," Alex said, "it depends on the names. I'm tired of being in the middle of the alphabet. I'm moving from Lockwood to Davidson. Now if Luke's name were Wallingford, it might be a different story."

She looked at the white gold ring on her finger. It was a claddagh ring,with a diamond, about 1/3 carat, safely held between the two hands. She remembered the rings in the bridal magazine that the girls had bought to help Will with Ellie's wedding. The one she admired out loud was exquisite. It was a simple emerald cut in a platinum setting, raised high above the band in a tiffany mount, the stone contained in a delicate basket with four prongs, baguettes on the sides of the band. She remembered remarking that it was rare to see an emerald cut that was high enough to accommodate a wedding band fitting flush against the engagement ring, but this one did; there were matching baguettes on the wedding band that ws part of the set. In fact, the illustration had two of them, like ring guards. Now shethought of that ring, with it's stone floating on 4 little prongs a full quarter inch in the air. She imagined that ring as she tried to deal with a laptop and a briefcase or a carryon in an airport. She imagined that ring as she walked in the impoverished sections of Nairobi or Dakar. She imagined that ring as she cared for their child. She looked again at the ring on her finger. This ring had scrubbed floors and washed dishes and survived. This ring could wipe a baby's bottom without scratching delicate skin.

But why was she wasting all this time thinking and analyzing? She needed to answer him! She bent forward and kissed his lips. "Yes, I will marry you. Yes, I will take your name. And, no, this ring is just perfect".

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It was Groundhog Day evening. They were on the terrace, the remains of the meal ordered from the resort restaurant on the table behind them as they looked over the hills toward the bay and the ocean.

Had almost 2 weeks already passed since she arrived? It seemed like yesterday.

He cursed the security measures that kept him from meeting her at the gate. He kept her pulled tight against his side as they waited for her bags.

On the drive down to San Diego, he found himself wishing that they were back in the days before mandatory seat belt use and wishing that he were driving a 1965 Monte Carlo with a bench seat, so he could pull her against him and drive one-handed down the highway.

Between time change and tiredness, she was dead to the world by 6:00 that first night. On the second, she was doubled over the heating pad he had borrowed from the concierge. But on the third night, while still pronouncing herself "unclean", she knelt before him in the overstuffed chair in the bedroom and ministered to him with her hands and her mouth. Other than letting him hold her head to make sure "she was doing it right", she wouldn't let him touch her. "Let me take care of you, Danny. Let me do this for you". Afterward, she got a warm washcloth and a towel, cleaned him up and put her head in his lap.

Two days later, he picked up one of the books and made his impish suggestion and for the next 8 days they intermixed small trips off the grounds with high comedy. He hoped that the husbands and lovers of the women who wrote this stuff enjoyed their ladies' imaginations as much as he did. It was amazing how inventive she could be or wished she could be ("Where's the waterbed and a 2.3 tremor when you need them," she said as they were trying to duplicate sex in a ship cabin on the high seas). They did indeed discover that face down across the table was indeed a nice place for her to be, but the next time, they would remove the food and dishes first even if the couple in the book didn't (and wondered what the housekeeping staff thought the next day). They went riding just to see if it really was possible to do it face to face on horseback and decided that for this one scenario, zippers were not an improvement over medieval bodkins or jerkins or whatever that tied with laces. When they came upon a spanking episode, he refused, but she came back with "In the words of a certain former senior White House correspondent 'Bawk. Bawk, bawk. Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk' " and he grabbed her and actually ended up smacking her a little harder than he intended. She screamed so loudly during the "deflowering" scene that he thought he did indeed hurt her, but she laughed and squeezed a packet of ketchup on the sheet. He felt a microscopic twinge of jealousy toward the guy who was first and was embarrassed and ashamed about it. And it was educational; he never knew that the name of Detroit's NBA team was a verb as well as a noun.

In two days, they would leave this private little Eden. They had talked around the subject, and they were both probably pretty sure where their relationship was heading, but, as is often said and experienced in their lines of work, "assume" is made up of "ass", "u", and "me". He had to ask and wait for her answer and suddenly he wasn't that sure that she would say "yes" now.

He called Erin three days ago and the express package from Ireland arrived this morning. The desk personnel were very good about getting it to him without her knowing. He remembered the day that the women were gathered about the bridal magazine on Margaret's desk and CJ was discussing the intricacies of the bail, the basket, and the gallery (whatever they were) of a particular ring and how much she liked what the designer had crafted and that if she was ever lucky enough to get engaged, that's what she wanted. And he remembered how she flushed when she looked up and saw him in the doorway. Later, he asked Carol to show him the ring she liked. He didn't know much about jewelry, but he knew enough to knowthat this ring would have to be ordered, would take time, could not be found at the local Zales. He wanted to give her the ring of her dreams, but he also wanted to put something on her hand now, to let the world know.

He told her he loved her. He tried to get down onto one knee but slipped and ended up on both of them, sitting back on his heels. Oh, great. He remembered Jason Sehorn on Leno, walking out and sliding onto one knee as graceful as if he were Barishnikov, putting the ring on Angie Harmon's finger as soon as he was beside her feet. He had to fumble in his pocket to get his ring. He asked her to marry him. He asked her to become Mrs. Concannon, oh shit, why did he do that, that wasn't important to him. The ring was all wrong, way too much metal and not nearly enough stone. Why was he blathering on, he was just turning this whole thing into a comedy. One last time "Please marry me CJ".

And immediately she smiled and kissed him and said, "Yes to you, yes to your name, if only because 'C-O' comes before 'C-R, and yes to your grandmother's ring".

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They got the camera and went to the main lobby and had someone take a picture of the two of them, arm in arm with him holding her left hand to his lips, the ring facing out for all to see. They downloaded it to his laptop and emailed it to everyone on his contact list. They emailed it to her laptop and did the same thing, not caring at all about the duplicates. He asked Josh to announce it to the White House press corps.

He pushed the two chaise lounges together and got some some blankets. She made cocoa.They lay next to each other under the star-lit sky.

And they talked. She had arranged for him to see the house she had been renting out for the past 8 years and asked him what he thought. He said that it was a wonderful place but he was a little concerned about the steepness of the street. If a kid's ball ran out of the yard, it could roll down and if the kid went after it and there was traffic...They talked some more and decided that they really did want to be near the ocean if at all possible. She wanted one floor because she wasn't getting any younger and didn't want to deal with steps. He wanted a nursery right next door to their bedroom but he wanted the other bedrooms to be on the other side of the house. She wanted an eat-in kitchen that overlooked the ocean and opened onto a family room but she also wanted a formal dining room for Christmas and Thanksgiving and other occasions and she wanted a formal living room with no TV. He said he always wanted a den or a library for all his books. It would take a while to find such a place or the land to build such a place. Her house had appreciated quite well and maybe it would be best to wait to sell it until after the ceremony for tax purposes. Maybe Sam would let them use his place until everything else clicked together. He asked again about the ring, was she sure? She said that maybe she would like one of the wider bands with some baguettes as a wedding ring and she could wear his grandmother's ring on her right hand after the ceremony, but until then, the ring was staying right where it was. He told her he had sometimes thought about getting married in a kilt. The Concannons were from Galway and the plaid was red with thin blue stripes and a wider yellow one. She told him that she liked his knees and as long as it came off at the end of the day, it was fine by her. She wondered if the groundhog had seen his shadow. He got all Bartlet on her and started talking about how Groundhog Day was just about half way between the winter solstice and the vernal equinox and how their celtic ancestors called it Imbolc and it was a feast of returning light and hope and the church took it over as Candlemas. She remembered that the next day was St. Blase's feast and told him how she had always managed in the past 8 years or more to make it to church that day to get her throat blessed, being how talking was her job, and could they find a church tomorrow? He told her that even though he hadn't been "practicing" in a long time, he always got ashes on Ash Wednesday. They started opening up to each other about the things they had experienced, religionwise, in the last few months.

Later, he mentioned moving on to the next "scene" in the book. She said she wanted to postpone that one, didn't want to incur the wrath of fate. The look in her eyes kept him from pursuing it at the time.

Later that night, when she was asleep, he picked up the book.

The next sex scene took place right after the heroine told the hero of her pregnancy. Okay, he said, hopefully we'll get back to this one within the year.


	8. The Message

G-rated

Not mine, never were, never will be but they consume my soul

Feedback welcomed

My first attempt at a drabble

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**The Message**

"That's all I have for now," the press secretary said. "However, Josh Lyman has an announcement for you".

Josh stepped to the podium. Someone asked, "Do you have a secret plan to flight inflation?"

He waited for the laughter to die down. "Good morning. I've been asked to pass along a message to the White House Press Corps," he said. "I'm sure you will have questions, but I don't have many answers at this time. The message is from Danny Concannon." Josh looked at the paper in his hand. He asked me to tell you 'She said yes'."


	9. With My Body I Thee Worship

**With My Body I Thee Worship**

CJ/Danny, many others

G-rated

Spoilers through end of series

Feedback welcomed

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

West Wing characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, et. al.

John Blackwood Ryan, PhD., DD belongs to Andrew Greeley

Roger Mahoney is titular Cardinal Priest of Santi Quattro Coronati in Rome and Archbishop of Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Ángeles.

This is the first of 3 planned chapters about the wedding. This one is the ceremony itself. Okay, I admit it, this is a combination of the dream wedding I never had, some weddings I've been to, and some imagination. Total schmaltz.

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Friday of Memorial Day weekend, 2007

Abigail Bartlet stood in the back of Mission Santa Barbara. Hogan Cregg was to have been her aunt's maid of honor but the Annapolis women's lacrosse team had made it to the NCAA final four and after today's victory, they would be playing for the title on Sunday. They couldn't do without their star attacker, and CJ would not have wanted to deny her niece the chance of a lifetime in her senior year. Hogan and her parents were in Baltimore. So here she was, the world's oldest matron of honor.

CJ had chosen not to make her attendants buy a dress that might or might not look good on them and that they would never wear again. She had told Carol, Margaret ("They looked after me for 8 years, they can do it for one more long weekend") and Hogan to wear an evening dress of their choice in a bright color of their choice. Margaret was in emerald green and Carol was wearing a deep teal. Abbey had brought a honey/ambercolored dress for the reception and it blended in perfectly.

The younger members of the bridal party were a different story. Danny's nieces were excited to be in their first formal dresses and their first heels. ("Heels", Carol said. "If I thought I could get away with it, I'd be wearing Keds".) Andy said that Molly didn't have a single dress, let alone one that would suit a flower girl, but here was Mollyi n dotted swiss. The older girls werea deep red, which apparently was the color that Hogan had planned to wear. Everyone had a single white tiger lily stem in perfect bloom.

She looked around the beautiful old mission. She didn't realize that several of the old California missions were still used as active churches. This one had been kept in good repair for almost 200 years. Blackie Ryan and Jed had lobbied Cardinal Mahoney to waive the usual 6-month waiting period, and by scheduling the wedding for a Friday evening, they were able to get the church. Abbey and Jed also contacted a nearby small resort complex and by pulling strings and offering paid-in-full accommodations at another location to already booked guests, the entire place was taken over for the wedding. No one would have to worry about being the designated driver. She was glad that CJ and Danny had been to speak with Jed's "funny little bishop friend", as she called Blackie, and that he had helped the two of them to see that "those people in Rome" had no right to keep them from the church of their heritage, the church they would like to share with their families and their children.

Erin MacDonald finished singing "Lord of All Hopefulness" as the servers, the groomsmen, her brother, her husband, Danny's roommate turnedJesuit, and Blackie reached the altar. Erin had talked her brother out of wearing kilts ("Trust me, I've been to many, many kilted weddings. It looks dashing and romantic for the ceremony, but if the dancing includes anything more rambunctious than a polka, it's not a pretty sight"); they were all in elegant black tuxes.

The flute, clarinet, and violin began playing the "Triumphal March" from _**Aida**_. Molly Zeigler started down the aisle with her basket of rose petals. She did very well by herself , and reserved her biggest smile for her father. Huck totally refused to be ring bearer and Danny insisted that he not be forced into the role as he was so many years ago, so she had Danny's ring on her thumb. Robin MacDonald did not look like the type to have misplaced CJ's. Danny's nieces, and then Margaret and Carol followed Molly. Each of them was met at the first row of pews by one of the groomsmen, all old friends of Danny's from Notre Dame. The couples alternated sides as they entered the first pew. Now it was her turn. As she approached the altar, she saw her husband in the fourth row on the bride's side, right behind the one for the bridal party to use during Mass and the two occupied by CJ's family. Robin stepped up to escort her to her place at Blackie's right side and then returned to stand beside his brother-in-law.

The music stopped. She looked over at Danny, saw only a slight twitch in his right hand as he stared at the doors in the rear of the church. Verdi's music began again, but this time, trumpets and cymbals joined the other instruments. The doors opened and there was CJ on the arm of her younger brother.

CJ had planned to walk down the aisle by herself but couldn't refuse the pleas from her brother ("We stopped after 5 boys, CJ, I'll never get the chance to do this with a daughter. Please let me do this for Dad.") Her dress was creamy ivory lace lined with dyed to match cotton, with a V neckline and sleeves that stopped just above her elbows. She was wearing her mother's pearl necklace. With help from his future sisters in law, Danny had managed to find earrings and a bracelet that matched in color and size. ("When I first started proofing copy at the Post, there was a wedding announcement that read 'The bride wore pearls, gift of the groom', and it stuck with me".) His grandmother's ring had been moved to her right hand. She had no veil ("I'd feel like an idiot"); burgundy red tiger lilies held her hair back from her face; they matched the ones she carried. Her eyes never wavered from Danny's face; his were fixed on her.

There were chairs with kneelers for the 4 of them in front of the altar.

They wanted to make a few changes to the standard ritual. Luckily, they were dealing with Blackie and not some tight-assed guy with his eye on advancement up the hierarchy (not that going against the grain did Blackie any harm).

When CJ's mother had died, her brother had read the "Worthy wife" passage from _Proverbs_; it would bring back too many sad memories for her so they replaced it with a single verse from _Song of Songs_ -- "Deep waters cannot quench love, nor floods sweep it away".

CJ requested that their confirmation names be included in the vows ("One of the best things about being Catholic is confirmation names. Here you are, a teenager who thinks everything your parents ever did was total shit, and you get to pick your own name.") Abbey stifled a laugh as she remembered the rehearsal last night.

"I, Daniel Michael Fabian..."

"Fabian, fishboy?"

"Hey, I figured I was getting both a pope and a rock star...anyway, I , Daniel Michael Fabian take you Claudia Jean ?" he paused.

"Gabrielle", she supplied. "soft 'a' in the 'gah', major accent on the 'elle'".

"I don't believe that's a saint's name, but 'Gab' does suit you."

"The archangel, patron saint of communication. Turns out mine fits better than yours."

"That was Gabriel".

"No, the evangelists got it wrong. Do you really think that an all-wise God would send a man to ask a 14-year old to consent to something that could very well get her stoned to death for adultery?"

Danny said he'd really like the part about obedience put back into CJ's vows, but he would settle for using the old Anglican words for the exchanging of rings. Abbey wondered how many people would gasp when they each in turn said "With this ring, I thee wed; with my body, I thee worship. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost".

Tim pronounced them married "with exceedingly great joy".

Hands gently on the side of her face to avoid disturbing the flowers, he kissed her.

Blackie's homily was sweet, funny, spiritual, and, most importantly, short. Erin sang "Panis Angelicus" at the Offertory, with the parish's children's choir singing the round on the repetition. The Communion hymn was "Lord of the Dance". They chose "Pescador" for the post-Communion meditation; an English translation was provided in the programs for those who didn't know Spanish. CJ was not going to put her bouquet at the feet of the Blessed Virgin. Abbey remembered how some of the girls at St. Mary's really believed that if they weren't virgins, the statue would crack when the bouquet was placed there. They received the traditional blessing, and Mass was over. Danny had chosen "Holy God, We Praise Thy Name" for the closing hymn ("Number one on the all-time Catholic hit list"). Abbey picked up CJ's bouquet, handed it to her, helped her with her dress, and prepared to take Robin's arm. Everyone recessed to "Ode to Joy".

At the rear of the church on a table was a huge posterboard with calligraphy and artwork that duplicated the Book of Kells. It proclaimed that Claudia Jean Gabrielle Cregg and Daniel Michael Fabian Concannon were joined in the Sacrament of Matrimony on May 25, 2007 at Mission Santa Barbara,Archdiocese of Our Lady, Queen of the Angels, California, USA. There were specific lines for CJ, Danny, Blackie, and the bridal party to sign. There was a big blank space under the heading "Witnesses". Everyone was to sign it on their way out of the church. The junior bridesmaids were in charge of making sure this happened.

And then,outside, on the steps of the church, said Daniel Michael Fabian Concannon grabbed said Claudia Jean Gabrielle Cregg Concannon, twirled her around in a circle, and started singing the "Hallelujah Chorus".


	10. Boys Will Be Boys

**Boys Will Be Boys**

CJ/Danny, Abbey, others

PG for topics discussed

They aren't mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback welcomed

This is the second part of my CJ/Danny wedding story and is set during the reception. There will be one more part.

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Abbey stood with her husband and the rest of the guests as Danny and CJ were polkaing to "Shall We Dance?" from _The King and I._ He wasn't Patrick Swayze, but Danny was a very good dancer and his brother-in-law was making sure that people knew it. Every 20 minutes or so, Robin would go up to the DJ, they would confer and then the DJ would announce another "Wedding Couple" dance. So Danny and CJ had waltzed to "Could I Have This Dance for the Rest of My Life", had done a slow fox trot to "Love Me Tender", and a cha-cha to "It's Now or Never". She was sure there was a samba, a tango, hell, may even a wedding "dirty dog" in store for them. The DJ was a great idea, much better than a band. He had a huge selection of music that ranged from the early 1900's to current stuff. Later on, she was sure there would be a Hokey-Pokey, a chicken dance, a line dance, and a hora.

Debbie came up behind Abbey, whispered something in her ear, slipped her a key card, and pointed to the door. Bonnie and Carol flashed quick V signs. It was interesting how so many of the former west wing staffers had decided to leave spouses and significant others at home for this wedding. ("There'll be so much for us to catch up on, it would be so boring for them".)

She grabbed her husband's arm, pulled him toward the bridal couple saying, "Come on, Jethro, time to do our thing".

"Well, I hope I can manage to not give her any signals," he groused. "And I don't know what the big deal is. I mean, I know she spent last night in the other bedroom of our suite, but they've been at Sam's for four months".

"You don't know everything", she replied.

Abbey thought back to those few days in late February when CJ and Danny came to visit with them after Chicago. The young couple were looking for some couple-to-couple pre-Cana counseling and at one point, after a discussion on fighting, ("Accept the fact that you are only human, that you will say things that will hurt one another, do things that will hurt another. But never accept the lie that there is nothing you can do about it.") the conversation started leading to a point where Jed said "Too much information" and left the room. The wedding date had been set,and Abbey suggested that they look to see if maybe they needed to adjust CJ's cycles to make sure that there wouldn't be any "inconvenience". An extra week of pills here and there could move things around.

Things looked okay but then CJ and Danny asked her if they could talk about planning for pregnancy. They wanted a family right away, but because there had been a small amount of fuss from some corners about their relationship, and because there was still a bit of Press Secretary inside her, CJ wanted to be able to say in all honesty that she was not pregnant at the altar. Abbey asked when they would like to have their first child "in a perfect world". Danny grinned and said, "Nine months and 10 minutes after we leave the church". Looking again at the calendars, she told them that it looked as if CJ shouldn't take any pills after the last set in early May. "But you realize that to be absolutely sure for the next two weeks, you will need to, or, rather you will need not to...". She then suggested that Danny see a urologist to make sure that his sperm count was normal and to find out what the latest thinking was on boxers versus briefs, hot tubs, etc. She told CJ that she might not ovulate the first month or two and that it might be a good idea to use the home predictor tests so they wouldn't be anticipating when there was no way anything could be anticipated.

As they approached CJ and Danny, her husband said, "Danny, if you'll let me dance with your wife, I'll let you dance with mine". The DJ announced a set of Glenn Miller and Benny Goodman slow tunes. "Good", Abbey thought.

"Danny, for the next few minutes, I want you to look at me as if we are having a very pleasant conversation, Okay? Your college friends and the other guys got a copy of your room keycard. The mattress and box spring have been removed, as have all the drapes and shades. The bathtub is filled with ice. They are planning to invade the bridal suite and interrupt whatever you might be able to manage to do under such circumstances after some 30 minutes."

She saw him grit his teeth, but he smiled and said, "Okay".

"Please dance me over to that little corner. Then I will slip another keycard into your pocket. It's for Bonnie and Ginger's room. They have moved their things into Carol and Margaret's. Debbie has arranged for housekeeping to straighten up their, now your room. Unfortunately, the beds are only doubles but we felt that Carol, Margaret, Bonnie, and Ginger should have the kings. If it's okay with you, I will go to your room, pack up your things, and have the bell staff move them. If CJ's things have already been moved from our suite, we'll get them also, well I guess we'll get them in any case. I permitted the bartender to turn on the playoffs so I don't think any of those tall adolescents will notice that I am gone and they will be kept in the dark. Danny, you need to be smiling. I'm a very witty conversationalist".

He glanced over at her husband and his wife. "CJ seems to be taking this pretty well."

"Oh, CJ is not to know a thing about it until the two of you steal away later tonight; you know she would go totally ballistic. I'm sure that Jed is telling her the entire history of the California missions. If he were a in three-way conversation with us, he would be going on about medieval wedding customs such as public beddings of the married couple and some such. That's what he did when this happened with Mallory".

"Ma'am?"

"That's right, you were in Alaska at the time. When Mallory got married right after the '02 elections, they did the exact same thing. I thought that John's fellow pilots instigated it and Sam and Josh and the others just went along because boys will be boys, but now I wonder. You think they would have at least found something a little more original the second time-- maybe itching powder on the sheets, ex-lax in the chocolate on the bed, lipstick on your pajama bottoms, stopping up the toilet, that sort of thing. Why are you cringing? Smile, laugh, you're happy, you don't have a care in the world."

Her eyes got just a little misty. "It was so funny. I hid in the bathroom with the agents to take pictures. When the guys burst into the room, there was Jed, Leo, Fitz, John Hoynes, Ron Butterfield, and Lord Marbury, all in boxers and T-shirts, smoking cigars, playing poker and drinking either scotch or soda water. I don't know how they convinced Ron to let him be the only agent in a room with both the President and Vice-president, but they did. By the way, that was off the record."

"Ma'am, I had arranged with the dining room for some food, some ..."

"It's been taken care of".

"And in the nightstand with the phone, in the drawer, there's a little gift box..".

She put her fingers to his lips, "I'll get it."

"Abbey, I don't know what to say .."

She kissed his cheek. "Be happy. You two deserve it. If you don't want to deal with all the buttons, there's a zipper on the left side of the dress, starting at her ribcage. If you go that route, the dress will need to come off overhead."

The music ended as they danced up to her husband and his wife."Thank you, Danny. CJ, you are radiant. Jed, I think I broke a bra strap, I'll be back in a few minutes".


	11. Karaoke

**Karaoke**

CJ/Danny, others

PG-rated

Not mine, never were, never will be but they consume my soul.

"Back Door Sluts IX" is the invention of the creators of " South Park". ( Season 6, Episode 13; "Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers". Gerald Brovlovski: "_Back Door Sluts IX_ makes _Crotch Capers IV_ look like _Naughty Nurses II_"

If you would like a link to the lyrics of the songs mentioned here, send me email!

Feedback: Please!

This is the third part of my wedding story. The karaoke aspect has been brewing in my head for almost a month; I just needed a setting for it. Thanks to candidata/writer in the making for using "Natural Woman" in her story; it made it easy for me to choose between it and the other song I had in mind for CJ!

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The karaoke challenge was the biggest hit of the reception.

Seeing that all the other guys were totally engrossed in watching Kate Harper, her skirt pulled almost all the way up her thighs, perform "Proud Mary", Danny surreptitiously gathered up CJ's shoes and his jacket and moved them to a chair at the back of the room. Then he returned to the group and whispered something to his wife. A few minutes later, as Amy Gardner was taking her bows after a preposterous "I Enjoy Being a Girl" from _Flower Drum Song_, CJ made some comment about getting rid of some wine and headed toward the hallway and the restrooms. Then, while Ed and Larry had everyone laughing their posteriors off with their duet of "You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore", Danny slipped out, picking up the shoes and the jacket. Looking around and seeing that the coast was clear, he tapped out the Notre Dame Victory March on the women's restroom door and when CJ came out, gave her the shoes, grabbed her hand and the two of them ran out of the ballroom building.

As Abbey had predicted, CJ **did **go ballistic when he explained what the guys had done and why they wouldn't be spending their wedding night in the bridal suite. He had to restrain her physically from heading back to the ballroom.

Abbey, Debbie, and the resort staff certainly came through. When he opened the door to what had been Bonnie and Ginger's room, it was lit by 2 dozen flicker candles ("So we don't burn down the place"), the ice bucket held bottles of water as well as champagne, and there were plates of fruit, cheese, and petit fours. It wasn't the bridal suite, but it had a bed and it had drapes. Looking at the beds, CJ told him that she would take the one closest to the bathroom and he could have the one closest to the door.

"They do look kind of small, compared to what we're used to," he commented.

"It'll be like we're back in college in the dorms."

"Well, at Notre Dame, we couldn't do the kind of things you wild Berkeley sybarites could."

She mentioned something about really having to go this time and went into the bathroom. He took advantage of the time to take off his shoes and his socks. He thought that dealing with socks was always the most awkward part of a seduction. She came back, tossing her pantyhose and her slip on a chair.

They had a picnic, sitting crossed-legged on one of the beds, and talked about the events of the past two days. It was the first time they had been alone since Thursday morning.

So far, they were lucky; nothing occurred in the nation or in the world to keep Josh, Donna, Sam and the others still in government from participating fully in the event. Speaking of which, what would Matt and Helen Santos think whey they heard that Josh and Donna sang "Afternoon Delight" in the karaoke challenge?

Thursday night had been warm and clear. Because people were arriving at all hours of the afternoon and evening, there was no formal rehearsal dinner. The resort set up a buffet and a bar by the pool and everyone gathered there. Eventually, there were the usual toasts and funny stories, the light-hearted advice ("Separate checking accounts, separate televisions and separate sinks and vanities in the bathroom" from CJ's sister-in-law; "Trust me, don't use the good china soup tureen when you're changing the oil in your car" from one Danny's Notre Dame suitemates; "When he says 'What did you do with my whatever', he means 'I've lost my whatever' ", according to Andy). At the end of the evening, more than a few tears were shed when, in keeping with her mother's last wishes, Erin sang "Danny Boy" to her brother. The second, not often heard verse almost brought the singer herself to tears:

"_But when ye come and all the flowers are dying  
If I am dead, and dead I well may be  
You'll come and find the place where I am lying  
And kneel and say an 'Ave' there for me  
And I shall hear tho' soft you tread above me  
And all my grave will warmer, sweeter be  
For you will bend and tell me that you love me  
And I shall sleep in peace until you come to me"_

With time zones differences affecting some of the guests, the evening began to end quietly, with CJ going to spend the night with "my adopted parental units" in the executive suite. The men did some good-natured complaining because Danny absolutely refused a bachelor party ("Maybe if I had let them get me a keg, some cigars, and _Back Door Sluts IX_, they wouldn't have wrecked the bridal suite").

He told her about the sailing race that he and Sam had arranged for the guys for Friday morning. His college friends' sailboat came in first, his came in second, which was pretty good for a crew of newsmen, his brother-in-law and CJ's brother, and Sam and the white house guys last ("Probably because the President insisted on explaining all the knots"). She told him that the women enjoyed their morning in the spa of the resort, especially the cabana boys,and then had mimosas and quiche while watching Hogan and her fellow midshipwomen on ESPN.

But they kept coming back to the karaoke. Some picked songs that suited them; some picked songs that were totally out of character; and some picked songs that caused comment.

Zoey and Charley were trying hard not to show it, but there was definitely some tension in their relationship. He sang "You're the First, the Last, My Everything"; later, when she sang "Angel of the Morning", more than one eyebrow was raised. ("At least she didn't do 'You Don't Own Me' ; that's what Annie said she had picked out.")

Toby surprised everyone with "Lightning Strikes", as did Will with "Hot Blooded".

The wives of Danny's friends acted as backup singers for everyone else.

Sam and Carol apparently conferred because immediately after he sang "Oh, Carol", she got on stage and responded with Carole King's parody response "Oh, Neil" and brought down the house with the spoken lines "I'd give a month's supply of chewin' tobaccy If I could be Mrs. Neil Sedaky".

Bonnie, Ginger, and Margaret sang "Nine to Five". They also sang several Motown hits such as "He's So Fine", but there was a lot of speculation when they did "Love the One You're With".

Chris was flying off on Sunday to be imbedded with some troops in Kazakhstan and she dedicated "Leaving on a Jet Plane" to her fiancé.

Everyone expected that the President would sing one of his Sinatra favorites but there he and Abbey were, belting out "And Then He/I Kissed Me/Her" as if they had been performing all their lives.

The press guys got together to sing "Heard It Through the Grapevine",

Andy sang "Fever" ("And gave Toby one".)

Her brother and sister-in-law did a fine imitation of Johnny and June Carter Cash with " Jackson". As a "real church soloist", Erin was not allowed to compete but Robin and the girls were a fine Tony Orlando and Dawn with "Knock Three Times". Franklin Hollis, his wife, Liz, Ellie, and Vic got together for "Everyday People". Annie surprised everyone with a haunting version of Bob Dylan's "Just Like a Woman".

The self-named "Old Broads" were declared winners of the challenge. Abbey, Debbie, and Nancy McNally performed as backup for each other, with Abbey taking the lead on "My Boyfriend's Back", Debbie on "Leader of the Pack", and Nancy on "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow".

CJ begged and begged to no avail that the two of them be excused from the contest, especially since it was decided that her doing "The Jackal" would be too much of an advantage. Danny had said it was okay as long as they didn't have to do "mushy". ("It's the only time I'd dare tell you to 'Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed'," he laughed. "And you are 'Lovely', even if you aren't a slave girl in ancient Rome.")

Their eyes met and he took her hands, pulling her off one bed to stand by the other. He decided he wanted to deal with the buttons and turned her back to him, kissing down her spine as his fingers went down the row. The zipper would have been easier but there was something ritualistic about undoing the buttons that appealed to him.

She stood there, head bent, arms crossed in front of her holding up the dress,until he had finished, turned her round again, and started kissing her neck and shoulders. She had a nightgown – it was made of the same lace as her dress, only there was no lining to get between its peek-a-boo sheerness and her body – and in all her young girl dreams of what this night would be like, she alternated between the faceless man removing her dress as Danny as doing or changing in the bathroom and walking into the bedroom in such a nightgown. The moment was at hand. Should she ask him which he would prefer?

She decided that the nightgown would be there later, but, in spite of their past experience, both separate and with each other, this was their first time together as man and wife. There would be no other time for this groom to undress this bride.

He slipped the dress from her arms; she reached up, slipped off his suspenders, undid the studs on his shirt and removed it. Kiss. He unhooked the lacy brassiere that matched the color of her dress and she removed his undershirt. Kiss. He pushed the dress from her waist to the floor and she undid his zipper and did the same with his pants. Kiss. Then, one hand on her waist as the other reached down to the bedcovers, he spoke into her mouth.

"Mrs. Concannon, I think it's high time I started working on getting you pregnant."

Afterward, she told him about the nightgown and he asked her to go put it on. When she returned, he was sitting on the bed in a pair of blue-violet silk pajama bottoms. ("Erin said the girls picked them out for me.")

The batteries in some of the flicker candles were dying and the room was becoming darker; he could just see hints of her coloring under the lace. She sat beside him and handed him a small box. When he opened it, there were two pair of cufflinks shaped like goldfish, one pair gold, the other platinum. Kissing her in thanks, he set "the Gails" aside, reached in the nightstand and handed her a box of her own.

"Danny, the pearls were more than enough".

"This is special, Jeanie, just between us."

When she opened the box, she saw a goldfish pendant on a thin chain. There were small blue sapphires on both sides where the eyes would be. The body of the fish was covered on both sides with pavé stones in colors arranged haphazardly to resemble the iridescence of a live fish. There were aquamarines, yellow, white, pink, and green sapphires, iolite, tanzanite, some fire opal.

"Oh my God, Danny, where did you ever find anything so perfect?"

"I went to a jewelry designer and told her what I wanted. She did the rest".

They lay on their sides, heads propped up on one arm and talked some more. They weren't leaving for Scotland until Sunday evening. Most of the guests were also staying through Sunday or Monday. Abbey had some events planned for tomorrow ("After I finish killing those guys") – a trip to San Simeon and a beach picnic – so the two of them would have the place to themselves for a while. Hopefully, the bridal suite would be back in order.

Touching her face, he asked her, "What would you have sung if we had done 'mushy'"?

She began to sing softly Roberta Flack's beautiful words:

_"The first time ever I saw your face_

_I thought the sun rose in your eyes_

_And the moon and stars were the gifts you gave_

_To the dark and the empty skies, my love,_

_To the dark and the empty skies._

_The first time ever I kissed your mouth_

_And felt your heart beat close to mine_

_Like the trembling heart of a captive bird_

_That was there at my command, my love_

_That was there at my command._

_And the first time ever I lay with you_

_I felt your heart so close to mine_

_And I knew our joy would fill the earth_

_And last till the end of time my love_

_It would last till the end of time my love_

"What would you have picked?"

He pulled her over to him. The words of the Everly Brothers came from his mouth:

_"I bless the day I found you  
I want to stay around you  
And so I beg you, let it be me_

_Don't take this heaven from one  
If you must cling to someone  
Now and forever, let it be me_

_Each time we meet love  
I find complete love  
Without your sweet love what would life be_

_So never leave me lonely  
Tell me you love me only  
And that you'll always let it be me_

_Each time we meet love  
I find complete love  
Without your sweet love what would life be_

_So never leave me lonely  
Tell me you love me only  
And that you'll always---let--it be me._

---------------

"The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" -- Roberta Flack

"Let It Be Me" -- Don and Phil Everly


	12. Interlude 1 By Any Other Name

**By Any Other Name**

Charlie/Zoey, mentions of others.

Maybe PG-13.

Spoilers: through end of series.

The characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, et. al.

Feedback welcomed.

This is the first of five interludes during CJ and Danny's wedding. They are stories that these characters wanted me to tell and they, for the most part, have nothing to do with CJ and Danny except that the telling of them occurs over the wedding weekend and the characters are reacting to some aspect of that weekend. After these interludes, I need to get CJ and Danny out of California and over to their honeymoon before anyone else pulls at the skirts of my muse.

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Memorial Day Weekend 2007

Late Friday night/early Saturday morning

Charlie walked through the grounds of the resort, deep in thought – confused, hurt, and somewhat angry thought.

The guys had already staged their unsuccessful raid on the bridal suite, finding only a big poster board to taunt them,( "Nice try, guys!") and everyone had drifted to their rooms. Mrs. Bartlet told them that everyone had to be ready to leave for San Simeon and the beach by 11:00 in the morning, and she was adamant that, short of requiring a deathbed, no one would be allowed to stay back. From that time until 6:00 pm, the resort belonged to CJ, Danny, and the staff.

He pushed through a gate into the rose garden area, and saw that he wasn't alone. One of Danny's roommates, the one who became a priest, was sitting on a bench, a rosary in his hands. Before Charlie could slip away, the priest raised his head.

"Good evening, or, I guess now it's good morning, Charlie".

"Hey, Tim, I'm sorry, Fath-".

"Tim's fine," the man waved his hand. "So, the would-be shivaree was sidelined?"

"Yeah, I guess it was a dumb idea but at the time it seemed like the thing to do."

"Well, I'm sure that President Bartlet would be able to give you all a lecture on all the similar customs throughout history and around the world."

"I think that's what Mrs. Bartlet has planned for us tomorrow as our punishment," Charlie laughed. Then his expression turned serious.

"Fath-, I mean Tim, could I ask you something? I mean, I'm not Catholic but there's this thing .."

"How can I help?"

"It's Zoey. She says she's not ready to think about where our relationship is going. She wants to be free to experience life, whatever that means. She wants me to hang around and wait for her, the way Danny waited for CJ. The thing is, it's been almost eight years for us as well. I tell her that it's time to sh--, I mean make your move or leave the bathroom."

"Well, between the kidnapping and living in her protective bubble, she never had the chance to do the things other young women do after college. Share a place with one, two, three other girls, work at a somewhat low-paying job, summer weekends at the beach crowded into one bedroom, get guys to buy them dinner in order to save money, that sort of thing. Do you think that she shouldn't have a chance to experience that, even though most young women her age have already had that experience and may be ready for more serious commitments?"

"The problem is that she wants that, but she also wants the two of us to have a regular, exclusive sexual – I can't believe I'm saying this to a priest – relationship and I'm not sure I can deal with it. One day, she's the flirt-with-everyone little girl and the next day, she's a sex-hungry pirhana and then on the third, she's the person I first fell in love with when she startedGeorgetownand again after Jean-Paul. She has this strange notion that because I was the first guy to be with her, I owe her, but then she also has this really off-the-wall idea that because I was first, she can't have a really mature, both of us on an equal footing relationship unless and until she can bring a little more "past" into it. Funny, most guys would be jumping at the chance, but when I think about how easy it would to enjoy the sex, I start to worry about caring too much, or something. And if she wants to relate it to CJ and Danny, I tell her the word on the street is that nothing happened there until after the election, but then she says it isn't relevant. I don't know, Tim, does any of this make sense to you?" Charlie shrugged, "I mean you're a priest and you've taken vows and all, do you have any idea of what I'm talking about?."

"Yeah, Charlie, I did take vows, but I made the decision to start on the road to take them when I was 30; I knew what I would be giving up if I answered the call. I guess you could say that I gave informed consent," he laughed. "There was someone who almost made me change my mind and I know how much the physical and emotional aspects of love intertwine. And, more importantly, you and she need to make your own decisions based on your own feelings; as happy as they are, you shouldn't base your relationship on CJ and Danny's. For one thing, you aren't him and she isn't her. For another, it doesn't take a mental heavyweight to see that what they have is just a little bit out of the ordinary."

"So what do I do?"

"You let her find herself; if there is a future for the two of you, it has to come willingly from both of you."

"And her demands on my body, as it were?"

"Are a different story. She has no right to demand sex from you if you aren't comfortable with it. If the situation were reversed and it was you putting pressure on her, what would they call it?"

"Date rape, emotional abuse, I don't know."

"A rose by any other name, Charlie. To your own self be true. You can't love someone else more than you love yourself. Pick your platitude, but remember that you need to put yourself first." The priest stood up. "Now, I need some sleep before the doings of tomorrow. Listen, I know you'll be at the law school in the fall. Anytime you want to talk, I'm in the Physics department offices most afternoons." He left.

And Charlie sat there for some time in the moonlight, not sure which Zoey, if any, would be waiting for him in his room.


	13. Interlude 2 Reciprocity

**Reciprocity**

CJ/Danny, mentions of others.

Maybe PG-13.

Spoilers: through end of series.

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul.

Feedback welcomed.

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Memorial Day Weekend 2007

Saturday morning and afternoon

The middle-aged resort assistant manager knocked on the door while the two busboys waited behind her with the serving cart. "Mr. and Mrs. Concannon, it's Sandra, the manager. We have your breakfast."

The door opened and Sandra immediately saw that the woman was hesitant. It was obvious that the knocking had wakened her. Underneath the bedspread she was clutching around her shoulders, Sandra could see a very sheer lace nightgown. The hair was tousled, and the manager could recognize, from her own 35 years of marriage, the minor irritation a beard can cause along her neck. She'd dealt with new brides many times before and while she was a bit surprised that this one was a little shy, she knew what to do. "Bobby, Dale, just push the cart into the room; I'll take care of the rest." She could hear the shower running. "I'll just leave everything on the cart. The omelets are over hot water, the juice and fruit are on ice, the toast is in here."

The bride checked over the cart. "Sandra, could we possibly get some pulp-free orange juice? My husband" a slight blush at the word "doesn't like it. I tell him the fiber's good for him, but he won't listen. And maybe some white toast? He'll eat the wheat, but he likes white better".

"Of course. Mrs. Bartlet asked me to tell you that the buses will be taking the others away at 11:00. They won't be back until 6:00. You and Mr. Concannon have the run of the place. If you need anything, when you want lunch, whatever, use this pager. It has a GPS so we'll find you." She handed her the device. "Once the housekeeping staff has finished with the rooms, you won't see anyone unless you want to. The bridal suite is back in order and if you would pack up your things, we will get them moved for you. Just call the main desk. I apologize profusely for what happened. The young woman who gave the others the key copy just started working here this week. We hadn't had time to make her aware of the kind of things that might happen in wedding events such as this; She believed the stories she was told; your friends are very persuasive. She wasn't supposed to be here this weekend, but one of the other housekeeping girls had a death in her family and this new one was called in at the last moment by the other manager; he didn't know that I hadn't fully trained her yet. Again we are so sorry."

A few minutes after 11:00, Sandra saw the busses pull away from her office window. About five minutes later, she could hear splashing and laughing coming from the pool area.

When the pager sounded at about 2:00, the GPS indicated that they were still at the pool area. He was lying on his back on one chaise lounge, she was on her front on another. Their hands met in the area between the two lounges. They asked for some iced tea and some sandwiches. "Make sure it's mayonnaise", she said. "He doesn't like Miracle Whip".

A little after 4:00, the pager sounded again. When Sandra approached the pool area, she saw that Mrs. Concannon was sitting at the foot of one of the lounges, her sleeping husband's head in her lap. "Do you think we could get some of the umbrellas repositioned so he doesn't burn?" she whispered. "I'd hate to wake him, he's so exhausted."

Coming back with some of the staff, they very carefully shifted some of the umbrellas, angling them to shade the couple. Sandra could observe Mrs. Concannon; she looked somewhat tired herself as she sat there and softly played with her husband's hair. "Thank you," she whispered. "He did everything possible to make this a perfect wedding weekend for us; I don't want him sunburned and unable to enjoy the rest of it." Realizing the possible implication of her words, she blushed again.

Sandra returned to her office, thinking about everything that Mr. Concannon had done yesterday for his bride – the champagne, the food, the candles — and now everything that Mrs. Concannon was doing today for him. Tomorrow was her day off; maybe she could do some special things for her husband.


	14. Interlude 3 Once and Future Husband

**Once and Future Husband**

Toby, CJ, Andy, Danny, others

G

Spoilers: through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

John Blackwood Ryan, PhD, DD and Lisa belong to Andrew Greeley

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

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Memorial Day Weekend 2007

Saturday afternoon

Toby Ziegler stood apart from the others who were watching the volleyball game on the beach. He knew that President Bartlet and most of the former White House staff guests were to some degree uncomfortable with him being here. However, CJ wanted him to be here and so he was. Danny had told him, with some admiration in his voice, that CJ had told Abbey Bartlet that if Toby wanted to come to her wedding, he would be included; if that meant that the former President could not be there, she would understand and she would miss him, but – too bad.

His ears perked up at a familiar, triumphant laugh. Andy had just scored a particularly tricky point for her side.

"Your wife seems to have a special talent for the game." He looked up to see Tim, Danny's former roommate turned Jesuit priest and Physics professor standing beside him.

"On hopeful days, I call her my once and future wife. On normal days, I call her the mother of my children."

"And on bad days?"

"Congresswoman Wyatt."

"And today is?"

"I'm not really sure. This whole weekend has been up and down with the both of us – just like our life for the past eight years; I'm not sure why."

"Probably because you are not sure how to deal with your feelings for my former roommate's bride; Andy senses it and is afraid of getting hurt in the process."

Toby was a bit surpised at the personal comment. "Father, excuse me, but --?"

"Just Tim, please," the priest waved. "You and CJ have been friends for a very long time and it's obvious that the friendship has a very strong male-female component. It could be causing some fear on Andy's part."

"Yeah, well, the thing is there never was anything physical about it, even though lots of people thought so. Maybe the timing was never right. Uh, this is confidential, okay?" He waited for the nod.

"Of course it is, Toby. Right now, you're an honorary Catholic and this is an open-air confessional."

"The thing is, although we never did have sex, over the years, I've known that I was the only one who really understood her, the only one who could set boundaries for her, keep her in line. I'm not talking macho, discipline stuff, you understand, but she does sometimes let her passions get the better of her and someone has to keep her from hurting herself. Also, I mean being the guy she would come to for whatever it is that a **Y**-chromosome imparts to our thought processes. No matter who she was with physically, sexually, I knew I was the real number one male in her life. And she played the complementary part in my life until I met Andy. Then I guess it was an ego boost that I could have a beautiful, intelligent woman like Andy in my bed and in my heart and also have an equally beautiful and intelligent woman as a kind of platonic concubine. You know, I'm not sure that Talmudic law ever definitely changed to proscribe polygamy. Anyway, then your man came along and I could see that he was different. Of course, her sense of integrity and Leo McGarry's sense of rectitude kept anything from happening, but I could see it over the years. There was that secret service agent – I have to admit that for just one small fraction of a second I felt a sense of relief when he was shot; if I were one of yours, I guess I would have been confessing it – but other than that, I never felt that anyone could sever what she and I had, fulfill the role I just described, except Danny. And when the moral impediments they imposed upon themselves were due to expire, they grabbed at their chance for happiness. I wonder; I might even have tried to quash that and am egotistical enough to think I would have succeeded, except that when she came to me for advice, I thought I was headed off to Club Fed and I knew she needed someone in her life and I wouldn't be able to be there. Now I see how right he is for her, I want her to be happy, I want to make a life with Andy and the kids, but I'm not sure I know how to forget. So there you are."

"Well, Toby, I'm not sure if it's so much a question of forgetting as it's one of letting go and/or moving on. I'm not the expert on that. The man you want to talk with is over there."

Toby looked in the direction of his glance and saw the little bishop from Chicago.

"Him? He had an unrequited love? Is that why he became a priest?"

"No, it's more like he was the object of an unrequited love. You know Lisa -- , " Tim named a famous actress, songwriter, and singer. "They were childhood sweethearts. All through parochial grade school. Different high schools, of course, back then we segregated automatically by sex instead of giving parents and kids choices, but he took her to her senior prom."

"But she's supposedly very happily married, been so for twenty plus years."

"Indeed she is, but she didn't marry her husband until after Blackie was ordained. He performed the wedding. Go talk to him if you want; he's a great guy. Like I said, I'm not the expert, but if you ever want to talk, come see me at G-town".

"Actually, I think I'll be up in New York soon. Columbia is interested."

"Well, I know a couple of good guys at Fordham and I know some guys at Yeshiva too. Right now, Toby, I'll leave you with 'Shalom' once and future husband."


	15. Interlude 4 Grounded

**Grounded**

G-rated

Donna/Josh, CJ/Danny, Jed/Abbey, Sam, others

So here I am, writing about CJ and Danny's wedding and suddenly several of the guests are speaking to me and my muse, demanding to be heard. Donna spoke the loudest and first, so for a while her story was in "Time out of Joint". However, the time line is now right for her .

"Road to a Better World" is the name I've given to CJ's project with Franklin Hollis.

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul.

Feedback, constructive criticism always welcomed.

----------------------------------------------------------,

Memorial Day Weekend, 2007

Sunday Morning

"Dum dum da-dum". Danny's college buddies hummed the _Wedding March_ from Lohengrin. "Okay," Josh said, "one more to go. It looks like President and Mrs. Bartlet will be the last couple out of bed this morning."

Donna looked up to see CJ and Danny approaching the lanai where breakfast was being served. Her arm was at his waist, his was around her shoulders. Their joy was so palpable, you could feel it in the air around them. She felt a slight shudder and without realizing it, made the sign against the evil eye that her Italian grandmother had taught her so many years ago. "Where did **that **come from?" she wondered, but still prayed that they would always be as happy as they were today.

It confounded her. Although they had waited eight years for each other, neither CJ nor Danny were 18-year old innocents on their wedding night. They each had past relationships and they had been living together since the inauguration. So why did CJ emit this aura of someone experiencing life for the first time? Why did Danny appear to be all at the same time proud, adoring, in awe of, and yet totally in charge of his wife? Was it because they were aware of their attraction and the restrictions on that attraction during those years and maybe doubted they would ever reach this point, while she and Josh didn't realize what they had until 7 months ago? A month ago, she and CJ were lunching in DC, talking about her plans, when CJ suddenly got weepy. She told Donna how close she came to not choosing to share her life with Danny and how incredibly blessed she felt.

There were more hoots and a "da-dumming" of _Hail to the Chief_ as the Bartlets joined the group, walking hand in hand, their fingers intertwined as they had done for at least the past eight years and probably for all the more than 40 years of their married life. When told of their distinction as laziest/sleepiest/horniest couple, the former President made some comment about practice making perfect and Abbey actually blushed.

Their relationship was different than CJ and Danny's. Though obviously still in love with one another through all these many years, they seemed more, equal – no, that wasn't the right word, what was it?– than the new Concannons. Last night when CJ was talking about the house they would be buying in Santa Monica, how it wasn't exactly what she wanted but that the "bones" were there and that there was space to turn it from the small "C" shaped cottage to the "squared off A" shaped house with the enclosed courtyard that she wanted, Danny made a comment about her having the vision to see the potential in things. When she and Frank Hollis talked about "Road to a Better World" -- theirproject to bring the equivalent of the old US highway system to Africa ("we don't need 4 plus lanes, overpasses, interchanges, just two lane paved roads that won't wash out in a monsoon"), she could tell that CJ would always be a leader. Although CJ claimed that she was through with politics, that she no longer wanted "the fate of the world as we know it" on her shoulders (although Donna thought that CJ, along with Nancy McNally, would be the best choices for first female POTUS), she would always be doing something that mattered, and Danny would always be there for her, and not as a faithful servant, but as her husband, supportive, secure in his masculinity and her need for him.

Grounded; that was the word for which she was looking. Danny was the ground wire, the rock that held their relationship, and her, to reality. The Bartlets, and for that matter, Matt and Helen Santos, were each equally grounded; they played off each other, gave purpose and constraint to one another.

She looked over at Josh, her Josh, the man who now had "the fate of the world as we know it" on his shoulders. For seven years, she had been his ground. She kept his work life and, more often than not, his personal life in check. Now they were moving on a different path. She was still keeping his personal life grounded, but now she was part of that personal life. Also, she was moving into a more secure place in her own life, a more secure sense of self. In a sense, she was becoming a feminine Danny. Sam and Margaret had taken over the professional grounding for her and the three of them would help Josh Lyman to balance his personal life with his heavy responsibilities, to succeed in the one area that Leo McGarry, God be good to him, had failed.

Everyone had teased her and Josh about what the Santos' would say about their singing "Afternoon Delight" at the karaoke challenge. However, the presidential couple was very much aware of their relationship and very committed to helping them make it work. There were two connecting rooms set aside for them in the residence. One served as a living room, dining room, kitchenette with a microwave, a counter-top oven, a refrigerator. Josh wanted to put the kitchen stuff in the second bathroom, but Donna insisted that although they might shower together regularly, she needed her own sink and vanity that she could keep neat and orderly. If they couldn't make it home at a reasonable hour, or if all heck was breaking out in the nation, the world, or just Washington, DC, or if they just needed an hour to themselves, they had a place to be 'JoshandDonna' a few yards away. For now, it was very hush-hush, but that would soon change.

Later this afternoon, after CJ and Danny left for Scotland, but with the rest of the west wing gang still here, Josh would announce their engagement and upcoming wedding; she would take out the solitaire that was currently pinned to her bra and wear it for all to see. They both agreed that they did not want to distract from the wedding couple, but they did want to share their joy with their friends.

Suddenly, if was as if she had the Second Sight. Her surroundings seemed a bit distant, the conversations muted. She sensed, rather than saw, but she knew what the future would be.

Josh would be the wind beneath the wings, the "guy behind the guy", first for Matt Santos, and then for Sam. Margaret would be Mrs. Landingham to Sam's Jed Bartlet; Carol would take Margaret's place as the power behind the throne of the Chief of Staff to the President of the United States. She herself would have a position of importance and influence in the Executive Branch but one that was independent of Josh's.

She would have it all. Her husband would love her, trust her, depend on her, cherish her. They would be incredibly happy together for a very long time; they would pull off what all the cynics would deem impossible. They would have children and she would take time with them, but also keep her hand in the world in which she and he had chosen to live. In the history books, he would be the one credited for making it possible for Matt Santos and then Sam Seaborn to lead this country to great heights. In those same books, she would eventually be cited more than either CJ or Nancy because after Josh retired to write his book, she would find the same voice and vision that drove Jed Bartlet, Matt Santos and Sam Seaborn; Donnatella Moss Lyman would become the first woman and first person of Italian heritage to be elected President.

This is what the fates had in store for her. She could do it. She was impervious.

But she would never look at Josh in the same wondrous way that CJ looked at Danny, and for one brief nanosecond, she felt regret.


	16. Interlude 5 Paper Doll World

**Paper-doll World**

Characters Zoey/Charlie, others

G-rated

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

"Come Back When You Grow Up, Girl" 1967 Bobby Vee

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Memorial Day Weekend 2007

late Sunday morning/early Sunday afternoon

Zoey sat in the rear of the lanai area, watching the interaction of the others. They were finishing breakfast and watching the women's lacrosse final between Annapolis and Virginia. CJ was cheering a goal scored by her niece when Danny came over and handed her a banana. As he sat down next to her and draped an arm around the back of her chair, she reached up, touched his lips with her fingers, and mouthed "thank you".

He was really being so attentive to her. This morning, when they came out to breakfast arm in arm, he kicked a soccer ball out of her way and ran over to get a towel to put on the chair for her, explaining that she didn't like it when her bare legs stuck to the plastic. Then he went to the other end of the table to get the cream for her coffee. Of course, to be fair, it wasn't all him. She made the waiter get some strained orange juice because he liked it that way and insisted that he take the last cheese Danish. She waited for him to finish with sections of the paper before reading them herself., stop it

There was more than adoration going on there. Last night, CJ, Josh, and Sam were having a somewhat energetic discussion about some tax strategy that the Santos administration was pushing. Danny was just sitting there taking it in for the most part. She herself was seated on a chair a bit out of the circle, in the shadows, between CJ and Danny. Nobody knew she was there.

The first time that CJ got a bit carried away, letting her emotional involvement in the issue turn discussion into something that had the potential to be a little nasty, Danny reached over to take her hand and lightly said "Honey, let it go, its not on your back anymore." However, a little later, she was back at it. During one spot where Sam and Josh were making points in rebuttal more to each other than to her, he looked at her again and very softly but firmly whispered "CJ, stop it **now**!". They stared at each other and then CJ lowered her eyes and said "Yeah". He reached over for her hand. They had no idea that Zoey had witnessed all of it and she wasn't about to reveal her presence. A fewseconds later, Danny pulled CJ up out of her chair and they meandered around the pool area, ending up apart from the rest of the group by the gate to the rose garden. Danny draped his arms around CJ's neck and she put hers around his waist. Foreheads touching,he appeared to be quietly but earnestly talking with her. Then he sighed, kissed her forehead, she raised her head and smiled at him, they kissed briefly and then, arm in arm walked back and joined the group that was singing old college drinking songs. No one else had any clue about what was happening, but Zoey could tell at least in this case, CJ was deferring to Danny's judgment, accepting his admonishings.

Earlier, on Thursday night before the wedding,CJ got into an argument with her new boss. Danny came over and kissed her solidly on the mouth for a good15 seconds. "Best way to get her to shut up when she gets like this," he laughed. Then he told the man, "Of course, I might get a bit upset if **you** used it. Maybe you better keep me on retainer."

It seemed that all Zoey had done this weekend was to sit on the outskirts of the group and observe others; suddenly she was damned tired of it. She got up and walked to the rose garden.

Her frustration started Thursday when Charlie suggested that she "officially" share a room with Liz and Annie. ("Let's not rub your Dad's nose in it in front of everyone, okay?") Then, Friday at the reception, they got into the silliest fight that turned extremely mean and hateful. He had snuck off with the guys for a little while and she got on him for not being attentive enough to her. He said something about wanting to be "just a guy" just like she wanted her "play around time". Then the fireworks started. More harsh words were said. They were looking over the karaoke choices and she said maybe if she sang"You Don't Own Me", he would get the message. He came back with, "Yeah, well here's one written just for you, by Bobby Vee back in 1967". He started singing

"_Come back when you grow up, girl_

_You're still livin' in a paper-doll world_

_Livin' ain't easy, lovin's twice as tough_

_So come back, baby, when you grow up"_

"Go to hell," she said and walked away.

They picked different songs for the challenge, but she did indeed spend the last two nights in Liz and Annie's room. She thought about moving into the extra bedroom in her parents' suite but that would cut too close to what he was saying about her.

She kicked the bench in front of her in frustration and said, "Damn that man to hell and back!"

Erin and Robin MacDonald turned around on the bench.

"Where I'm living, the girls tell the guy 'Go fuck yourself and the horse you rode in on'," Erin said.

Zoey blushed and wanted to apologize but to her utter mortification, she started crying. Then the entire story of the past eight years came out. She ended with "I've been in a fishbowl for eight years and I went through that kidnapping, why can't he understand, why can't he give me time, why can't he be more like Danny?"

Robin spoke first. "Well, lass, it seems to me that he's had his own 'lost youth' issues to deal with. His mother dying, having to raise his little sister, putting off college and then not ever having the fun parts of it like living in the dorm, going to football games, and such once he was able to go. But he's coming on to thirty and he wants to be a man. Can ye not understand?"

Then Erin chimed in. "One, my brother is no saint and you shouldn't be idealizing him. He and CJ are damned lucky that things worked for them. Two, it's true that you may have missed out on a certain part of life, but everyone has to deal with the cards fate has given you. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life three to five years behind everyone else?"

Then she smiled. "Or maybe not. What do we know?". The two of them left the garden.

A few minutes later, Zoey rejoined the group, went up to Charlie and whispered, "Do you think we could try to talk, calmly?"


	17. The Promise

**The Promise**

In response to Lida Rose's TB/DC Birthday Challenge

CJ/Danny, others

Maybe PG for what it implies

Spoilers through end of series

Feedback and constructive criticism always welcomed

They aren't mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

In the original TWW universe, Josiah Bartlet's term of office was January 20, 1999 12 noon through January 20, 2007 12 noon so now it is one year ahead of the real universe. In the Wells S6/S7 universe, somehow Bartlet's term was only seven years and is in current reat time.

In my universe, which is a subset of the original TWW Universe, CJ and Danny's wedding will occur on Memorial Day weekend of 2007. There will be more of Danny's sister's backstory in my universe in future works

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June 12, 2007 -- Dubai , United Arab Emirates

She entered the parlor of the suite quietly and was glad she did, because her husband had fallen asleep in front of the television. ESPN International was broadcasting what appeared to be Australian Rules football.

She slipped off the lace scarf and the _abaya,_ and was glad she had taken the Irish President's advice ("I find it easier to wear a pale light cotton _abaya_ over a light weight dress, like their wives do", she said. "It's a lot more comfortable than a longsleeved pantsuit in the heat. If you're totally sure you won't be taken to the women's quarters to meet with the wives, you could probably get away without hose. Also, it shows respect for their customs and that sure can't hurt".)

They had spent the first 10 days of their honeymoon in a little house on a little island in the middle of a lake in the Scottish highlands near Inverness. Apparently Robin MacDonald was one of **those** MacDonald's ("if 36 other guys die, I'll be clan chieftain and you'll have to refer to me as 'The MacDonald' "), and had offered the use of one of the family's properties to his brother-in-law.

With the help of his brother-in-law, Danny had managed to duplicate what CJ had described last January as her dream vacation -- the Whitsunday Island experience that Ralph and Meggie had in _The Thorn Birds_ but with housekeeping and room service. The only difference was the temperature -- it was a bit colder.There was a middle-aged couple who came over every evening about 6:00. While CJ and Danny had appetizers and cocktails outside on the terrace if it was nice or in the study if it wasn't, Mairi cleaned and dusted while her husband Ian, a very good cook, prepared dinner. After dinner, Mairi and Ian cleaned the kitchen, and dining room,loaded the dishwasher. They replenished the refrigerator with breakfast and lunch things. Taking any laundry that needed tending, they left the honeymooners to themselves by 9:30 or 10:00.

There was a heated pool and a hot tub. The island had a beach and although the lake was quite cold, they did sun themselves and even braved the waters once or twice. There was a rowboat and CJ insisted that Danny row her around the island one day. They did spend one morning at Loch Ness but didn't see the monster and they visited the battlefields where Bonnie Prince Charlie failed in his attempt to regain the British throne that afternoon. But for the most part, they read, they swam, wrote thank you notes to be mailed when they returned, they slept, and they made love in just about every room, in the rowboat (very carefully!), on the beach, in the hot tub, in the pool. They set a clock for 5:30 PM in order to make sure they were clothed when Mairi and Ian arrived.

Afterward, they spent some time in Ireland with Danny's family. Erin and Robin had bought some old Concannon family land between Galway and the airport at Shannon. There wasn't much left of the old house, but they had restored what little they could and had built a new addition.

Danny took her to Dublin; the president, whom she had met while she was Chief of Staff, held a reception for them. Then Franklin Hollis called her. All apologetic, he explained that the Sultan of Dubai had heard of his project and might be interested in helping. Could she and Danny go there for two days and explain what Phase I of "Road to a Better World" involved?

So here they were.

She went into the bedroom to change. If the customs personnel had inspected this particular bag, she wondered what they would have thought.

She made her final adjustments, grabbed what she needed, and went into the other room, calling out to her husband. She also sent a mental "thank you" to Carol for reminding her of last year.

June 12, 2006

She was rushing out of the Mural Room, already late for a meeting in the Roosevelt Room, when she spied the President and Mrs. Bartlet, Debbie, Margaret, and Carol, all surrounding Danny Concannon. They were eating cake.

"Hey, CJ, the Press Corps saved a piece for you", Carol said.

"Cake," she said. "Why is there cake?"

"Don't tell me you forgot Danny's birthday?", Mrs. Bartlet asked.

Oh, Lord. It was only there for a millisecond, but she could see the hurt in Danny's eyes. Her time in the White House was coming to an end, and as the date inched closer, the kidding became a little more tentative. The last couple of times he had been back, he would look at her and quietly give her a countdown ( "238 days, Claudia Jean"). Maybe, just maybe, he really meant it all these years. She didn't know if she was glad or afraid, or both.

"Oh, Danny, I am so sorry. It's been just such a zoo around here lately, I wouldn't even remember to go to the bathroom if Margaret didn't put it on my schedule. But I'll make it up to..." She stopped when he glanced quickly at the others. Not just her words, but her tone of voice and her expression were those she used with him only behind closed doors. She was on the verge of revealing so much. The others were staring at her and at him.

She had to save this somehow, make it seem light. She started walking toward the Roosevelt Room, turned around, and looked at him.

"Swear to God, Danny, next year I'll get you a stripper".


	18. Things Take Time

**Things Take Time**

CJ/Danny

PG maybe

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback -- please!

Because "writer in the making" said " so please do continue - because: Mrs. Concannon, I think its high time I started working on getting you pregnant. - that screams for more;)"

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The first sense to insinuate itself into his consciousness that early August morning was smell – wet seaweed and wild onion grass. Almost immediately, he heard the seagulls and felt the cool morning air; he could almost taste the briny salt in it. Sleeping with open windows was something he hadn't experienced that often in the last 10 years. He opened his eyes to see the foggy mist on the western ksy over the ocean. Next summer, they really should spend some time on the DelMarVa – it would be wonderful to experience an ocean sunrise with this woman in his bed. Vague, indistinct memories of an erotic dream teased at him; his mind and his body began their preparations to make sweet lazy summer morning love with her.

Then he felt it, a tiny, almost imperceptible but very steady movement of the bed. He wondered if they were experiencing a very minor tremor. Turning to the center of the bed, he saw his wife sitting up, her head down with hair falling over her face, a glass of water in one hand and a washcloth in the other, dabbing at a rusty streak on the sheet.

Feeling his eyes on her, she said, "I started during the night". She looked up at him with a little half smile and he could see a trace of redness in her eyes. For a small part of a second, his eyes mirrored her regret. Then he took the glass and cloth from her, pulled the top sheet up over the damp spot on the bed, and gathered her up against him.

"Deal with the laundry later", he said, kissing her hair.

"But the stain will set", she protested.

Remembering the paperback romance they had so much fun with in January, he joked, "Good. Anyone else makes a comment about what went on for the past eight years in the White House, I can show them that you came to me a virgin." She laughed and lightly socked him on his upper arm. "Unfortunately, there are a couple of guys who would call you a liar."

"Do you need the heating pad or can I make you some tea?" he asked.

"I'm fine", she replied. "Maybe in my case the old wives' tales are correct". Seeing questioning face, she continued, "When I was twelve, my grandmother told me that the cramps would go away once I got married."

"What does a marriage certificate have to do with a medical condition?"

She got up on her knees, sat back on her heels, and loosely draped her arms around his neck. "It was a euphemism. They say that having regular orgasms makes cramping less likely. And lately, my orgasms have been very". Light kiss on his forehead. "Very". Light kiss on his nose. "Very". Light kiss on his mouth. "Regular".

He tried to stop it, but his innate sense of male pride and accomplishment brought what his sister called a wild Irish shit-eating grin to his face. "Concannon Alternative Medicine at your service, ma'am. I make house calls."

She smiled back. "That's why part of me was glad in June. If everyone thought that you had impregnated your wife on your wedding night, you would have been insufferable". Her tone got a little more wistful. "And then in July, we weren't even sure, the ovulation test two weeks earlier was so iffy. But this month," she trailed off.

"Hey, you're ovulating, the doctor say my guys are normal, it'll happen." Pause. "Listen, since you feel okay and we have nothing better to do since you are of no use to me now," he grinned, "let's walk down to the pier and have breakfast."

"Sounds like a plan", she said. She looked down again at the stain, looked up. "Twenty, twenty-five years ago, there must have been about ten times when this was cause for prayers of thankfulness to God, Mary, and all the angels and saints I could think of. And now, I'm crying. I wonder if there's a connection".

"Jeanie", he admonished her softly but firmly," do **not** go there. God doesn't work like that. Tee Tee Tee."

"What?"

"It was something one of the girls from St. Mary's that I dated for a while taught me. I hear that she eventually joined the order. Things take time."

Epilogue –mid-September

"CJ, it's been almost, I mean shouldn't you have, like 6 days ago?"

"Daniel Michael Fabian Concannon, don't you dare tempt the wrath from on high atop the thing! You go outside, turn around three times, and spit!" She paused and softly said,"I'll stop at the drugstore tomorrow."


	19. Wake up the Echoes

**Wake up the Echoes**

CJ/Danny, Jed

G-rated

Spoilers: through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback welcomed

Notre Dame Victory March

Michael J Shea, ND 1905, John F Shea NC 1906, '08

_Rally sons of Notre Dame,  
Sing her glory, and sound her fame  
Raise her Gold and Blue,  
And cheer with voices true,  
Rah! Rah! For Notre Dame._

_We will fight in every game  
Strong of heart and true to her name.  
We will ne'er forget her  
And we'll cheer her ever,  
Loyal to Notre Dame._

_Chorus:  
Cheer, cheer for Old Notre Dame  
Wake up the echoes cheering her name,  
Send the volley cheer on high,  
Shake down the thunder from the sky,  
What though the odds be great or small  
Old Notre Dame will win over all,  
While her loyal sons are marching  
Onward to Victory._

Most of us are familiar with the music to the Notre Dame Victory March as played by the Fighting Irish marching band during their football games. However, if you get a chance to see the movie _"Rudy",_ pay attention to the _a capella_ rendition of it. I'm a sucker for a capella harmony anyway, especially single sex groups.

The football game dates are from the posted schedules of the appropriate teams.

Notre Dame does not have a Homecoming game. To my knowledge, the alumni classes to do not plan to meet for specific games; I needed the devicefor this story.I don't know if Notre Dame holds alumni seminarsthe way other schools do,but I borrowed the idea.

In Greek mythology, Leda was seduced by Zeus in the form of a swan. She then gave birth to the twins Castor and Pollux.Castor was supposedly the son of her husband and was mortal and Pollux was the son of Zeus and immortal.

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October 12, 2007

CJ stirred, and realized that she must have dozed off for a bit. The last thing she remembered, they were still on a freeway in an urban part of Illinois just south of Chicago. Now they were on what appeared to be a 4 lane but not limited access road in a semi-rural setting.

It was a beautiful Indian summer Friday afternoon. They had flown into O'Hare and picked up a rental car, one of many such couples who were going to South Bend, Indiana for the Boston College football weekend. Danny had explained that while Notre Dame doesn't have a homecoming as such ("Every home game is a homecoming"), most of the alumni classes arranged to come back for a particular game and this year, his class had picked "the Pope Bowl". By chance, President Bartlet's class would also be "reuning" this weekend.

Apparently, Notre Dame football was going to play a part in her autumns. Last week, they were in the visitor stands when the Irish came to UCLA, at the tailgate party sponsored by the alumni association before and the cocktail party after. Similar plans for the USC game were also on their calendar.

Of course, he was trying to be more than fair about it. He told her he would love to go to the Cal-UCLA game next weekend when her alma mater was in town. She said she would be more interested in going up to Palo Alto next month; the Game ("the only game") was at Stanford this year. She had already participated in a round-table discussion on effective government at Berkeley during freshmen orientation weekend and had used that trip to show Danny her old stomping grounds just as he planned to do for her this weekend.

She stretched and he made some comment about Tweedledum and Tweedledee making her sleepy.

"No!" she said. "Those are not their names! It's Castor and Pollux, or Artemis and Athena, or Apollo and Diana!"

"Better not be Castor and Pollux," he growled playfully. "They were only half-brothers. You been seeing some swan on the side?"

"No, sir, no swans." She looked over at him, and grinned. "I guess we really should call them Ed and Larry; they did come to visit the end of August."

"Let's hear you repeat that later when I'm not driving this car and I have easy access to your fanny."

"You would beat the woman who is carrying your unborn children?"

"On second thought, I'll schedule it for June of next year. I'm a patient man, remember?"

She laughed and stretched her left arm across the console, draped it over his shoulders, and played with the hair along the nape of his neck. It was only 10 days ago that the doctor had shown them the two little hearts on the ultrasound screen. "It's a good thing that Abbey won't be there this weekend. I think we can keep it from him, but she'd pick up right away on the fact that I wasn't drinking and she wouldn't just buy the allergies/antibiotics thing; she'd want to see the drugs."

He reached behind his head for her hand, brought it forward, and kissed her knuckles. "Two years ago, if anyone had told me about this; even last year, there was only this glimmer of hope."

"Yeah," she agreed, letting go of his hand as he needed both of them to get around a semi. She rested her hand on his thigh and fell silent, remembering.

October 2006

Finally, she had a chance to breath regular three times in succession. The crisis in California had been averted, though not without some loss, and the situation in Kazakhstan, while still at a simmering point, was not at an imminent crisis stage. She buzzed for Margaret and then remembered that she had sent her home an hour ago, at 10:00PM, with a splitting headache.

With a huge sigh, she picked up the phone, punched for an outside line, made a note of the time on a post-it for Margaret, and punched in Danny's cell number.

Almost immediately, "You've got Danny."

"Hey, it's me."

"Hi, you."

"So you are where?"

"Somewhere north of Springfield, debate for the Mass. First. And the fate of the world?"

"Is a bit safer, but my shoulders are so damned sore. You gonna be in town any time soon?"

"I can be, anything in particular?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, last time we were in the restaurant, right before my electronic albatross went off – "

"I think I remember."

Danny, you use words the way Monet used shading and shadow, but some things really need just the basic 8-count crayon set or words of one syllable – if I'm totally off base, please stop me now before I make an even bigger fool of myself, but if you were meaning what I –".

Softly, shakily. "Yes."

"Excuse me?"

Even softer. "Claudia Jean, I meant exactly what you think I meant – what I've meant for seven years." Deep exhale. "Are you calling with an answer?"

"I can't do this on the phone, Danny. When I told you I wanted to see you more, after the Inauguration, I'm sure that way in the back of my head, I maybe saw the possibilities, but you've moved this way into the deep end of the pool and it can't just stay there treading water for 12 or 15 weeks." Deep breath. "It's definitely not 'no', but I'm not sure I'm ready with a definite 'yes' and I really need to be with you, look at you, when we talk about exactly 'what' and 'when' and 'how much' and 'how long' and 'how far down' and "

"So it's a definite 'maybe'? I can be there in 6 hours, less than that, it's night driving. I can be there by 4:00 in the morning."

"And if something happens that might affect the fate of the world between now and then? That's the reason I want – I wanted – to wait until I was out of this prison, as you called it."

"Okay, look, I was planning on being in town day after tomorrow for a few days. You know where I live, or you can find out. I'll be home nights. You have time, you come over; you don't, call and let me know. If you can't do it this trip, there'll be at least one more before the election. I'm a patient man."

"I know. More patient than I deserve, maybe. Listen, Danny, I want to get out of here, so, pleasant dreams."

"They will be now, Claudia Jean."

Three days later about 10:00 pm, CJ checked with Kate Harper. "What are my chances of being able to take a decent bath, maybe sip a glass of something alcoholic, tonight without being pulled out of bed before 5:00AM?"

"About as good as you're going to get. The ceasefire is holding; all the players are calm, if not happy. I've got plans with – a friend, myself, that might involve a can of Reddi-Whip," Kate said, laughing as she left CJ's office.

CJ asked Margaret to get Danny on the phone for her and then to go home. When the phone buzzed, she picked up the receiver and said, "Commander Harper has given me the closest thing to a hall pass that she has in her arsenal. I can be there in 15 minutes if –" Pause. "See you then".

Danny opened the door to find two men in black suits. "Good evening, sir. If we might make a quick check of the premises?"

He stepped aside to let one of them inside. The other was standing in front of CJ, keeping her backed up against the wall. The first agent came to the front door. "I took the liberty of closing all the drapes, sir. Please keep them closed as long as Ms. Cregg is with you." He signaled the second agent and the man let CJ pass into the apartment.

He took her coat, hung it on the coat tree by the door. She looked around. The building was obviously a huge old house converted into apartments. There were ten-foot tin ceilings with embossed panels. The main room was a combination living room, dining area, and kitchen. The kitchen appliances were modern. Off to the right was a little alcove that held a desk and Danny's laptop. There were bookshelves everywhere, with books piled haphazardly on the shelves. Off to the left, beyond wide pocket doors, was a bedroom. She assumed that the bathroom was off the bedroom, as it often was in buildings like these.

He offered tea, or brandy, or bottled water. She thought that brandy might be fine, so he poured two and ushered her to one end of the couch. He took the chair that sat right angles to it.

"So," she said. "I was telling you that I wanted to see you again, to see more of you again after the Inauguration, and you –"

Trying to make it easy for her, he added, "as usual, am a light-year ahead of you and asked you to make more of a commitment than perhaps you want to make."

"I'm not adverse to the idea, mind you, but again, exactly what does 'holding hands' entail, and where does it lead, and for how long, and"

He reached for her hands and looked into her eyes. "In your words of one syllable, we have known each other for seven years. You don't knowhow I like my eggsand I don't know if you put the toilet paper over or under, but we each know the values the other holds. The other stuff will be a piece of cake.And tell me honestly that you never felt the fire between us. So, as to what and where, in the short run, it's spending enough time with each other, out in the open, to make sure, and, if that works at the way I think it will, hope it will, in the intermediate run, it's to an altar, or a judge's bench, and to a marriage bed, and, in the long run, 50 or 60 years from now, if not longer, to a double gravesite with a tombstone that reads 'beloved wife of Daniel' and 'beloved husband of Claudia Jean'. But if all you can give me now is the short run, I'll take that and chip away at your reticence until I can have it all."

"And I would like that short run also, but after we're out of office." She reached over to touch his cheek. "And in this day and age, to be talking about marriage when we've never even moved beyond kissing seems so strange.I'd be a fool to deny the electricity, but don't you even wonder about?"

"You think I should take you out for a test drive?" He tried to lighten the mood. "CJ, I know you to be a truthful person and you've been quoted as saying that you are good in bed, so that's good enough for me. Uh, do you want to test drive me? I can do it now if ou like, no, wait, I can't, I don't have anything," he actually blushed. "Unless you have?"

Now it was her turn to blush. "No, Danny, I don't carry condoms with me on the off-chance that I'll get propositioned. At least, I no longer do." She took a breath. "At one point, I was a bit wild --".

He put a hand to her lips. "That has nothing to do with us."

"But that would be part of the discussion, at least as far as what we expect from each other, wouldn't it? Also, right now, I am wedded to the beeper from hell. We could be in there", she gestured toward the bedroom, "and you could be doing all these wonderful and exciting things to me and it could go off and I would have to get up and leave. I don't think I could bear it."

He smiled. "At least I have you admitting that I can do wonderful things to you. What kind of wonderful and exciting things do you like?"

She smiled back. "I expect you to surprise me, you always do. After the Inauguration," she reasserted. "Seriously, Danny, I am touched and honored, but we really need to wait until January 20th. Please?"

He stood up, pulled her up, put his arm loosely around her waist, and kissed her lightly. "Okay, your rules for now. But can I call you?" She nodded yes. "Maybe a dinner now and then, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years?"

"Let's leave that open for now; God knows what Abbey Bartlet has planned for me."

All of a sudden, he began to shake all over. "Danny?" she asked, not just a little frightened. "Are you okay?"

He got himself under control; now was not the time to tell her about the vague, weird, not-quite premonitions he and his sister sometimes had. "Maybe a cold coming on. Maybe someone walked on that grave," he joked. Then he got serious again. "CJ, you **do** know that you can call me, come to me anytime? I mean, if something ever gets to be too much, if something happens to tear your world apart?"

"Danny?"

"I don't know, I just suddenly had to make sure you know that. Okay?"

"Okay," she smiled.

Then he wrapped his arms around her, kissed her deeply, stroked her neck. His right hand stroked down the side of her breast, went down her body, and very briefly, almost imperceptibly cupped her between her legs, before wrapping around her hips. He pressed her against him and her legs parted to let his thigh between them. Finally, he lifted his mouth. "Until January," he said with ragged breath. "Yeah," she said.

He walked her to the door, helped her with her coat, finger combed her hair, and turned her over to her detail.

October 12, 2007

CJ and Danny were seated with Danny's suitemates and their wives (except for Tim, of course) at the Alumni dinner Friday night. The other guys were ragging Tim about his divided loyalties. "When the game's is at South Bend, I'm a 'Domer," he said. "When it's in Chestnut Hill, I'm a good Jesuit."

After they arrived and checked into the motel, Danny had shown her around campus, the dorm he had lived in, the chapel, the grotto. It was even more beautiful than the pictures. A couple of kids stopped to look at them, maybe recognizing that she was someone they should know, and one or two faculty members spoke to them, but for the most part, they were left alone.

CJ had been introduced to several current and former NFL players, including the one who was a judge on the Minnesota supreme court (and who had been on the short list for the seat that went to Mendoza), to doctors and lawyers. One of the Saturday morning seminars planned for the weekend was on the ethics of responsible journalism versus the first amendment and she met the other journalists who would be participating along with Danny.

President Bartlet was the after dinner speaker and he kept the speech short, wanting to give as much time for questions as possible.

Someone asked him about his opportunities, or lack thereof, to return to South Bend for games during his term of office. He told them that he had stayed away because of all the security that would have been involved and he didn't want to spoil the experience for the rest of the fans. However, he watched the games whenever he could.

"There was this trip to Portland," he said. "And that reminds me, I have some unfinished business with someone in this room." He looked out over the tables. "CJ? Where are you? I know you're here." He spied her, pointed, and someone moved a spotlight to the table. Because the former President was there, there was some local TV and press coverage of the dinner.

"That's CJ," he said. "Used to be my Press Secretary and then my Chief of Staff." There were murmurs in the audience as they recognized her and probably more than a few explanations to those who didn't pay more than the most casual attention to anything other than Notre Dame football. "Because she's intelligent, she had the good sense to hook up with one of us afterwards. That's Danny sitting beside her.Anyway, about six years ago, she was stupid enough to make fun of Notre Dame and as punishment, I made her wear a hat and she was supposed to lead the press corps in the Victory March, which she never did, so I think she should have to come up here and sing it for us now. CJ, get up here!"

She stood up. "With all due respect, sir, the operative word there is **used to be**. I don't work for you anymore." Laughter in the room.

"First of all, that's three operative words, not one. Second, Claudia Jean Cregg, I want you up here singing!"

More laughter.

"You must have me confused with someone else, sir. My name is Claudia Cregg Concannon. I've got a California driver's license right here," she patted her purse, "even a genuine U.S. passport in case we decide to take a side trip to Canada."

"I expedited that damned passport! Hey, Danny!" He stood up beside CJ. "Will you please either order your wife to get up here or find some other way to punish her for what she did?"

"Mr. President, I'm a newlywed, just over four months. Tell me, this ordering and punishing thing, how well does that work out with you and Mrs. Bartlet?" Total uncontrolled laughter took over the room. "Besides, I think that the Glee Club will do a much better job."

"Are you saying that your wife can't sing?"

"I'm saying that if my wife doesn't want to sing, I'm not going to make her sing."

"Wuss. Okay, any more questions?"

After a few more questions, the emcee decided it was time to introduce the singers and the audience was entertained by the sound of men's voices in _a capella_ harmony singing several songs and ending with the Victory March and the Alma Mater.

Later, while some of the media were talking with her and Danny, the weekend organizers came up to her. They wanted to take advantage of her presence and set up a last minute Saturday morning seminar about her experiences, especially as a woman, as a high-ranking government official. She begged off, saying that she wasn't prepared for anything like that, and besides, she wanted to be with her husband. "For this weekend, I'm just here as Mrs. Danny Concannon."

The next morning, they were eating breakfast in the motel coffee shop when Tim joined them. "You two seem in a good mood, considering".

"Considering what?" Danny asked.

"The commentary in _The Observer_," Tim replied, referring to the student newspaper. "I guessing you haven't seen it."

Danny ran over to the rack where the paper was set out for anyone to take. There was an article about the dinner and a little bit about the joking that went on, but he didn't see anything upsetting in it. Then he turned the page.

On the editorial page was an op-ed piece by an apparently angry woman identified as a journalism sophomore.

"_I'm Just Mrs. Danny Concannon"_

"_The women of this university, indeed, the women on every college and university campus, are encouraged to accept no barriers, no discouragement, as we utilize our minds to the fullest. That has become easier to do as the years pass, but it is still sometimes a daunting task and stumbling blocks are still thrown into our path._

"_Last night, such a block was thrown on this campus. The woman who for six years was the face of the Bartlet White House and then for two years oversaw the operation of same indicated that she has cast all that aside and submerged her identity to that of someone else. "I'm just Mrs. Danny Concannon," the former CJ Cregg simpered."_

The piece went on for several more paragraphs.

"Simpered!" CJ exploded. "I've never simpered in my entire life!"

Danny tried to calm her down. "Honey, this is so bad it's good! You and I are going to have so much fun dealing with this. At least, there will be more press at my seminar than just the participants." He could see the gleam in her eyes as she thought about it.

At the seminar, Tim, the other guys, and their wives kept CJ in a protective huddle so no one could get to her before or during the seminar. Danny expected the local media to be out in force, but he was surprised to see that some network and cable folk, even some press syndicate people had come over from Chicago. They would probably make national, even international news.

The seminar was lively, argumentative without being nasty, and thought-provoking. When the moderator opened it up for questions, she first wisely chose members from the general audience as opposed to the press and media folks, but eventually those questions died down and she pointed to someone she recognized from the local NBC affiliate.

"Danny, about the piece in the paper this morning?"

"Yeah," Danny said. He stepped to the edge of the raised dais and held out his hand to CJ. She grasped it, stepped up beside him and they walked back to the table and chairs. Danny pulled one of the chairs to the front and CJ sat in it. He sat on the table, behind and to the right of her, his left arm over her shoulders.

"Since I'm the former Press Secretary, I'll do most of the answering," she started.

"Which shows exactly how much identity she's submerged," Danny quipped.

She reached over and poked him in the arm. "First, I was misquoted. My exact words were, 'For this weekend, I'm just here as Mrs. Danny Concannon'. Second, I was taken out of context. I had been asked to participate in something with less than 12 hours' notice. I came to Notre Dame this weekend to see the place where my husband spent his college years. I would be more than willing to return some other time to talk about my White House experiences or, more important, the 'Road to a Better World' project with which I am now associated. Indeed, I participated in just such a discussion several weeks ago at my alma mater, the University of California – go Bears!"

"Where I was perfectly fine with being 'Mr. CJ Cregg'," Danny interjected.

Another poke in the arm. "Third and last, I have never simpered in my entire life. Any questions?"

"Why did you change your name?"

"Because 'C-O' gets me closer to the top of the list than 'C-R'." Laughter. "I did it because it felt right, for me. Because I figured that with this tall body, people would know who I am no matter what I called myself. Because it's a tradition and tradition is sometimes good. Some women choose to keep their birth names; others don't. Some use their father's name as a middle name, some don't. This was my choice."

"Danny, did you ask her to change her name?"

"I asked her to marry me. Once she said 'yes' to that, nothing else mattered. Is there some deeply rooted male part of me that feels honored that she chose to take my name? I'd be lying if I answered 'no'."

"CJ, why didn't you hyphenate?"

"Well, if everyone does it, by the time you get to great-grandkids, you've got eight surnames strung together."

"In order to expect great-grandkids, there have to be kids. Is there something else you want to tell us?"

From both of them. "No!"

"There's nothing to tell or there's something but you don't want to tell?"

"No comment."

Unconsciously, Danny ran his thumb down her cheek.

"I have something to say to the person who wrote this piece. What you wrote is crap, pure unadulterated crap; I would be saying this if, instead of writing it about the most important person in my life, you had written it about someone who meant absolutely nothing to me, a total stranger, or even about my worst enemy. You misquoted and you twisted. Either change your ways or stay out of journalism. There is no place for it in our profession.

"For the rest of you, please understand that we found each other later in our lives than most of youfound the special person in your life, and then our jobs put an additional 7 or 8 years of waiting on us. We have twenty less years than many of you to be with each other, to share our pasts with each other. That is what this weekend is for us. Please let us enjoy the rest of it."

"Did you really wait all this time?"

"Yes".

"Do you expect us to believe that?"

"We don't really care; the people who know us do."

CJ jumped up. "Okay, that's a full lid".

Then, they left the auditorium and they did all the things that Notre Dame faithful do on game days. They watched the band and the team walk across campus to the stadium. They cheered for the Irish. Tim consoled his fellow Jesuits after the game. They visited the bookstore and bought things for their friends and family. Making some comments about someone's babies, they bought some bibs. They ate dinner. They crashed the student dance.

The next morning, they were lying in bed watching the Sunday morning news shows. There were a couple of mentions about them on CNN and the Today show. They went to church and then to brunch with the group.

Someone came over to their table and said, "Did you hear what Limbaugh said about you two?"

Danny moaned and CJ said, "No, and I think we've had enough waking echoes for this weekend!"


	20. Memorare

**Memorare**

CJ/Danny, mentions of others

NC-17

Through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

Note: My stories are written under the assumption that the Bartlet White House dated from 1/20/1999 through 1/20/2007 and that the events of Season 7 occurred in 2006-2007 rather than in 2005-2006. I realize that others see it differently, so please bear with my dates.

"Road to a Better World" is the name that I've given to the project Frank Hollis has given CJ.

The italicized quotes from CJ are the ones that are supposed to be the clips that _Good Morning America _is showing.

For those not in the US, many police and fire departments urge people to put "ICE" for "in case of emergency" in front of the names on cell phone lists of people who should be contacted. My friends and I usually list more than one person and list them in order as "ICE1", "ICE2", etc.

I chose ABC's _Good Morning America_ as the talk show because I've always admired Robin Roberts from back in her _Sportscenter _days on ESPN. I rarely get the chance to watch weekday morning TV because if I'm home during the week, I usually sick in bed.

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4:10 AM PST, November 8, 2007 Los Angeles CA

Danny Concannon yawned in the studios of the ABC affiliate in Los Angeles. After talking with CJ last night, he decided that he wanted to watch the east coast feed of _Good Morning America_. CJ had been gone for a week, first to the G-8 Summit in Madrid, then to the capitals of several smaller European countries. She flew into New York last night and, after the interview this morning and a late breakfast/early lunch with Toby, would be coming home later today.

He had told her that with the help of Hank and Steve, the couple one house up the street, the dining room furniture was now in one corner of the main room and the bedroom furniture was now in the dining room. Their remodeling contractor would start on expanding the bedroom side of the house on Monday. He could hear the exhaustion in her voice and he wanted her back with him as soon as possible, but he once again told her that he didn't mind if she spent more time catching up with Toby and came home on Friday instead of today. She told him that she really, really wanted to be home by Thursday night, that a cattle car flight across the country on Friday would be even worse than one on Thursday and that in any event, Toby would be leaving for Maryland and the twins Thursday afternoon. He reminded her to call him from the plane when she could get an ETA from the flight attendant; she told him that she could get a cab. He assumed his "stern husband" persona and told her that he was picking up Artemis, Athena and her and that was the end of it. "I hear and obey, lord and master," she joked. He told her that he had to go, he was taking Hank and Steve to dinner as thanks for the help with musical furniture, nothing fancy, just steaks and beers in the sports bar two blocks away, maybe watch whatever was on the big screen, typical guys' night out.

After they hung up, he called Franklin Hollis, told him that CJ sounded very worn out, and asked him if he could arrange for one of the company jets to bring her home. Hollis was one of the very few people who knew about the pregnancy; they were waiting for the first three months to pass before telling most of their family and friends. Then he called his friend on the news staff of KABC and asked for the favor. It was only a few hours' difference, but he wanted to see her face, to make sure she was okay.

The camera came back from commercial to Robin Roberts and she was introducing CJ. The camera panned out and he saw his wife. Last night, she said that her clothes were beginning to feel a bit tight, didn't fit right, and another reason why she wanted to come home was the chance to get into things with elastic waists or, even better, no waists, and not to think about a suit jacket or a blazer for a while. She looked great to him, but he could also see the weariness around her eyes and a slight slump to her shoulders.

Robin was an excellent interviewer and they played some clips of speeches CJ had given as a lead into the questions.

"_Some have questioned the morality of spending so much money on roads and bridges when people need food and shelter. My answer is that the human race has a boundless amount of empathy and the people of the world eagerly offer food, shelter, clothing, and medicine, or the money to purchase same when the need arises. We see it whenever a natural disaster strikes. We see it when three whales are stranded in arctic ice. We see it on a smaller scale everyday when a house catches fire. We see it when a firefighter risks his or her life not only for the human occupants of that house but also for the dogs and cats that are equally part of that family. We see it when someone dies and friends and neighbors bring over food so the grieving survivors have one less thing to worry about. What we are asking is that those who, like Franklin Hollis, feel that because they have been given so much, they must give in dimensions beyond those deemed suitable for the rest of us, consider putting a significant portion of that contribution to making it possible for the generosity that is a tangible sign of this world-wide human empathy reach those in need in the most efficient manner."_

Robin asked her," So, CJ, are you saying that your project will not be seeking contributions from the public at large?"

"Robin, 'Road to a Better World' will accept any and all contributions. However, we will not have an active fund-raising division to solicit such donations with all the financial and human overhead involved with such a division. Right now, I'm the only one who will be asking for money and I will only be asking for money from those who are already giving and can afford to give much more."

Robin then introduced another clip. "CJ, you gave a speech at Berkeley this past September and in response to a question about American foreign aid you gave this answer.

"_The question was, why we, meaning the United States, are always giving so much to other countries, but when we experience natural disasters, no one offers us any help._

"_First of all, other nations have offered and continue to offer aid to us when we experience an earthquake or a flood or a hurricane. It is the policy of the State Department to refuse such offers of aid. This is one point on which I disagree with our government. Believe me; I had this argument several times with President Bartlet and his other advisors. It was one of many that I did not win. Second, although we do give a large amount of absolute dollars in foreign aid, in terms of a percentage of our budget and in terms of a percentage of our Gross National Product, we are near the bottom of the list of the major developed countries in giving. Again, when you have been given much, more is expected of you."_

Robin asked her, "CJ, would you like to expound more about this disagreement with the other members of the Bartlet White House? Did you often disagree with President Bartlet's decisions?"

Danny sat up in his chair. "Don't blow it, babe. It's not on your shoulders anymore."

He saw her take a deep breath. "My argument, Robin, was and is that when we refuse out of hand any help from our fellow members of the human race, we run the risk of two things. One, we set ourselves up to appear to be better than the other nations, the other people of the world. We have been blessed with much wealth and prosperity. Are there countries that do not have the values we espouse? Yes, there are. Are we the only country on this planet that has values? No, we are not. Am I proud to be an American? I am. However, had my destiny been different, I would have been equally proud to be Canadian, to be Australian, to be Swedish, to be a citizen of any number of countries. Two, in my opinion, we offer insult to these other countries; we belittle their sense of dignity and their need for self-respect when we refuse their help. Just as 'Road to a Better World' will not turn away the $5.00 contribution just because most of our contributions are measured in millions, if not billions, the United States should not refuse the $25,000 offered by an island nation in the Pacific basin that is grateful for the aid we gave it when they were in need and wishes to reciprocate. We run the risk of appearing to be arrogant. However, this is just my view and, as has been pointed out to me many times since January, these decisions are not on my shoulders any more."

Danny smiled and thought, "That's my girl!"

"Do you miss it?" Robin asked. "Are you glad you did it and would you do it again?"

"I miss my friends, I miss what we accomplished. I don't miss the tension, the pressure, the total demand that every moment, waking and sleeping, be dedicated to the effort. Right now, I feel that I am doing something equally as important and I am able to have a personal life as well. Am I glad that I did it and would I do it again? To steal a line, to paraphrase Steffi Graf when she was inducted in the Tennis Hall of Fame, my profession, my time with the Bartlet campaign and administration led me to the man who has become the love of my life, so I will bless that decision every day for the rest of my life."

The warmth in Danny's heart spread throughout his body. He could see the others in the studio looking at him with a combination of respect and envy.

"Folks, I'm sure it is not visible on the air, but this woman is now glowing and there are tears in her eyes. There are also tears in mine. CJ, we wish you much luck with 'Road to a Better World' and we wish you much happiness."

Cut to commercial.

He sat there in the studio. If he moved, he might lose control of his emotions. He should call her, tell her how well she did, how proud he was of her.

_Good Morning America_ came back from commercial and the hosts were making small talk about CJ's interview. "Robin, I understand that CJ's husband was in our Los Angeles affiliate's studios watching this feed live. That's 4:15 AM, folks. I think we have a real-life fairy tale romance occurring here."

He started to call her but his phone rang first. The caller id read "ICE1CJ". (He remembered the day in San Diego when they changed their phones to list each other as the first person to be contacted in case of emergency.) He pressed "answer".

"You are the most amazing, most wonderful woman in the world. The interview was perfect. I love you."

"I can't believe that you actually got up, dressed, and drove downtown just to watch me. Robin made the interview flow very easily. I've been told that I am being whisked away later today on a private flying carpet and that it is your doing. You didn't have to do that, but thank you."

"I thought about having your seat upgraded, but you would still have the airport hassle. You did look a little tired. I've missed you. This is the longest we've been apart since January. I want you back here."

"I'm on my way, soon as I see Toby. Love you."

"Love you back."

They hung up and he turned to catch the end of the 7:30 news break. He looked up when he saw President Santos, Josh, and President Bartlet on the screen. The newscaster narrated, "A year ago yesterday, Matt Santos experienced the joy of winning the election and the sorrow of losing his running mate. There was a memorial service at the grave of Leo McGarry in Arlington…"

It had totally slipped his mind. And if one year ago yesterday, Leo had died, then one year ago tonight – .

November 7-8, 2006

When Danny heard the news about Leo, he was in New Hampshire, finishing his reporting on New England congressional races in general and Doug Weston's loss in particular.

He stopped his typing and said a prayer for the man, even though he suspected that Leo had been the one that most encouraged CJ in her belief that there was no way they could have had a bit more of a relationship over the past seven years. He called his editor, told him that he was coming back, packed his things, and started on the drive back to Washington. When he stopped for gas outside of New Haven, he thought about calling CJ, but it was after midnight and he didn't want to risk waking her on the off chance she had managed to get to sleep.

He arrived in Washington about 7:00 AM and went into a diner for breakfast. His cell rang; he saw the caller was ICE1Erin. "Hey, Erin, how goes life in the country for which you were named?"

"Morning, little brother. Well, it's afternoon here. It's fine. How goes life in wherever you are? You sound beat."

"I'm in DC, just drove down from New Hampshire. The better guy won, but the best guy died. So, what gives?"

"Celtic DNA, Danny. All I know is that I needed to tell you that it would be good if you bought whatever you think you might need."

Danny was quiet for a second. He and his sister weren't exactly sure how much they believed, but they accepted that both of them somehow or another sometimes "sensed" things. "Thanks. Who's doing what?"

"Well, Robin's on a Shannon-Stockholm-Moscow-Paris rotation this month, but he's based out of Shannon so he's home periodically. Your older niece is in love with her third boyfriend of the term and your younger niece wants to be either a veterinarian, a professional tennis player, or a nun."

"And what do you tell her?"

"That they aren't mutually exclusive goals."

"Tell her from me and Tim that poverty and chastity are doable, but obedience is the ball-breaker."

"Well, use another term for the last, but email her, she'd love to hear from you."

"Ho-kay. Look, I've got to clean up a little, go to the White House for a bit, and then get some sleep. Hugs all around and thanks."

"You, too."

He ate, took his kit and a clean shirt into the rest room and made himself more presentable.

At the White House, he tried to get Margaret or Charlie to authorize him but they were in meetings, so he tried for Carol. Carol got Will to give the okay to the front desk and came to get him.

"Hey, kiddo," he hugged her. "How's everyone holding up?"

"Well, so far, most of us are managing." She wiped a tear away. "But Danny? she stopped him by a doorway.

"Yeah?"

She looked up at him. "Earlier this morning, Will sent me over to her office, in case Margaret wasn't able to deal with everything and she needed my help. When I walked up, Margaret wasn't there but the door was open and I could hear her talking. She said, 'Gail, everyone else has someone but me. I mean, I've got you, but I can't hold you and you can't hold me. When all is said and done, I'm all alone.' Danny, I'm worried about her."

He sighed. "Well, she's not alone, but she needs to be reminded of that fact." He saw Charlie and Margaret in the distance. He looked into her eyes, kissed her cheek. "Thank you, Carol, for this and for everything over the past seven years. Keep your fingers crossed for us." He went toward Charlie and Margaret.

He shook Charlie's hand, asked about the Bartlets. He hugged Margaret. "Margaret, I can only imagine what you must be going through. You need anything?"

"I'm hanging in there," she replied. "We have each other here and Bruno's flying in later today." She lowered her voice. "He knows he's _persona non grata_ here, and, for that matter, I'm not sure how I'll feel about him, but he wants to make sure that I'm not alone for the next few nights."

"I can understand that," Danny replied. He glanced over to CJ's office and silently asked his question.

"Danny, I know she would want, would love, and **needs** to see you, but right now she's in the Sit room and then there's a meeting about the funeral" slight catch in her voice "and the transition will wait for no one. I don't know when she'd have more than a minute. Just let me check inside, make sure there are no state secrets, no KFC recipes lying around, and you can wait for her if you like."

"I've driven all night from New Hampshire. I'd better go home and make myself decent, get some sleep. Could I write a note?"

Margaret gave him a sheet of stationery and a pen.

"You are **not** alone. Come to me, call me, whatever, whenever.

D"

He folded it over once and asked Margaret to make sure she got it.

Later that morning, Margaret did give CJ the note. She read it, and Margaret could see her shoulders lift imperceptibly, see a little smile start to form.

"Margaret, make sure that Danny gets one of my invitations. Here's the address." She scribbled on a notepad.

He stopped at the supermarket on the way home. He needed milk, juice, bread, cheese, and butter. There was a lot of frozen stuff in the fridge at home. He remembered that he was out of Tylenol and went to the pharmacy section. While looking for the pain reliever aisle, he passed the condom section. Was this the intent of Erin's ESP? He picked up a package and put it in his cart.

The three open checkout registers were "manned" by two older women who reminded him of his grade school nuns and one young woman who reminded him of his older niece. He headed for the U-Scan.

Once he got home, he showered, shaved, and made a grilled cheese sandwich. He had changed the bed and vacuumed before he had left for this last trip up North, so he caught up on snail mail, and slept, off and on, for the rest of the day. At 7:00 PM, he pulled a chicken potpie out of the freezer and nuked it. Pouring a glass of milk, he sat in front of the TV and watched the news. He was dozing off again when his cell rang. The caller ID said WHITEH and the time was 9:30.

As soon as he started to answer, he heard her say "Is this a good time for me to come over?"

"The sooner, the better," he answered.

"Thank you, Danny." There was a catch in her voice. She sounded so defeated.

He changed out of his flannel pajama bottoms into a pair of jeans. He put a sweatshirt on over his T-shirt. Setting the glass and his fork in the sink, he threw out the pot pie dish and closed the drapes. Then he reached into the very back of the closed cabinet where he kept his alcoholic beverages and pulled out a decanter and a heavy crystal glass. He straightened the bedcovers since he didn't want to bother with the pocket doors, made sure the bathroom was presentable.

He was opening the door before he realized that he had forgotten shoes and socks.

The agent made his sweep of the premises and she came in.

He stepped behind her and took her blazer as well as her trench coat from her shoulders. She didn't seem to notice.

Without the jacket, she looked more vulnerable. He remembered an article from his copy-proofing days. The author claimed that the suit jacket or blazer was symbolic of knightly armor and that professional women should always have at least a sweater, if not a jacket, to put on when attending business meetings.

She sighed and raising one foot, she reached down and began to take off her heels. He reached out to steady her and she smiled up at him.

She was wearing a thin purple-grey sweater that reminded him of the heather around Erin and Robin's house and a wool skirt that matched the sweater. She looked like Erin and her girlfriends did when they were teens in the 60's. All she needed was the flip or pageboy hairdo, the circle pin, and the ballerina flats or Weejuns.

He poured a little of the amber liquid from the decanter into the glass and handed it to her. She raised her eyebrows. "Trust me. You want it," he said.

She took a sip. He could tell when it hit her. She took a larger sip.

"Sweet Jesus, Danny, this is wonderful! What is it and where do I get some?"

"My brother-in-law, my sister's husband," he clarified, feeling the need to explain exactly why he had a brother-in-law, "is from Scotland. It's the family recipe. I'm sure I'm breaking all kinds of laws having it," he smiled. "And with treasury agents right outside the door."

She finished the other two sips in the glass. He took it from her, put it on the table, and looked at her. Then he opened his arms to her and she walked into them.

He knew better than to try to stop her crying, so he just stood there with his arms wrapped around her.

After a while, he pulled her, still in his arms, to the couch and sat down on one end. Somehow, in the act of getting on the couch while held within his embrace, she ended up facing the back of the couch and him, her legs slightly bent and pointing to the other end of the couch.

She was still crying and still, he made no real move to stop her; he just held her and began to stoke her hair. After another while, he began to kiss her softly on her hair. The kisses slowly began to move to the side of her face as her sobs slowly decreased in intensity.

His mouth half-kissed her mouth and then their mouths met, still slightly. There were two more light kisses, open-mouthed but without tongue involvement.

Then the crying stopped and the kisses changed. His hands began moving over her back, and she began to reach under his sweatshirt. Then she reached for his zipper.

He took her hands from his groin, put them around his neck. He put his hands on either side of her face, and asked the question with his eyes. Do you want to take this to the next step? She answered with hers. Yes, the time is right.

He pulled her up from the couch and kissed her again, reaching under her sweater in the back, touching the camisole she wore beneath it. She reached again for his zipper.

Again, he moved her hands. She looked at him, questioning.

Many times, he had imagined what it would be like to make love with her for the first time. For some reason, it was always in his bed, never in hers, never anywhere else. He had imagined her in candlelight, he had imagined a fire in the fireplace in his bedroom, flowers, champagne; he had imagined many things.

He was a realist, an adult. He knew that he couldn't put her in suspended animation and arrange everything that he wanted. The nature of their first union would be dictated by her grief and her fragility as much as by her realization that they were meant for each other. But their first time together would not be half-clothed on his couch or on his living room floor.

He looked at her, judging her weight distribution. She was, if anything, underweight, but she was tall. He had wrestled and lifted weights in high school and at Notre Dame. He knew how to move weight around; he could still clean and jerk 250 pounds easily. She should be a piece of cake. His left arm around her shoulders, he put his right arm just under her rear end, picked her up, and carried her into the bedroom.

He set her down on her feet and, still holding her with his left arm, used his right hand to pull down the covers on the bed. Then he ran his right hand down her left arm and, holding onto her fingertips, he reached over to the dresser where he had set the condoms and the Tylenol he purchased earlier and put the box on the nightstand.

He kissed her again and again she reached for his zipper. He sighed and again removed her hands. He reached under her sweater and lifted it off over her head. He kissed her shoulders, reached under the camisole to unhook her bra, and slipped it off from under the camisole. He moved her hands to his sweatshirt and she removed it along with his T-shirt. When they kissed again, the warmth of skin on skin and the soft pressure of her unbound breasts almost caused his knees to buckle.

He unfastened her skirt and it dropped to the floor. He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her toward him, helping her step out of the skirt. He rested her hands on his shoulders and, reaching under the half-slip, he ran his hands up the outside of her legs and thighs to her waist, hooked his fingers and removed her pantyhose and her underwear, again helping her to step out of them. He stood up again and turned the bedside light to its lowest setting. He moved her hands to his zipper and let her do what she had been wanting to do for the last 15 or 20 minutes.

Once she had him naked, he pulled her down to the bed and removed her camisole and slip. He knew that she didn't want seduction this night. Her grief and all the burdens of the past two years were demanding that she join with him with primal sexual need. So instead of reveling in her body, in the shading of her areolae and nipples, in the softness of the pubic hair that was more than the mere strip most women carried in this day and age, in the contours of her navel, in the hollows of her hip bones, he moved to the final step. Although he was pretty sure of it, he did check to make sure that she was indeed wet enough to receive him. He sheathed himself in a condom, and, with one more questioning gaze and one more silent answer, consummated what had begun seven years ago in the White House press room.

She gasped when he entered her and he waited for her to give assent before he moved. Either it had been some time since she had been with anyone, or he was more endowed than the men who had been with her before him, or both. He hoped it was the last, but in any case, he felt a deep sense of male satisfaction that took him by surprise.

He ceded control of the situation over to her. He let her determine if it would be slow or fast, hard or gentle.

She pulled at one of his hands and moved it toward their juncture. He was able to bring her to climax four times before his resolve gave out and as he thrust into her one last time, he gave her a fifth one without benefit of his fingers.

He could have lain there forever, inside her, kissing her forehead, but, having done its job, the excess blood was leaving his genitalia, and, aware that one of the main causes of pregnancy with condom use was post-coital leakage, he clasped the top of the condom to himself and reluctantly withdrew from her. He wrapped it in a tissue, used another tissue to remove any moisture from himself, and drew her into his side. She was already nodding off. In other circumstances, he might have been disappointed, but he knew that she was emotionally exhausted, and, feeling tired himself, he pulled the sheet and a blanket over them, and gave himself up to sleep.

About an hour later, he woke to find that she had found her second wind. This time, she wanted to control the entire situation and he acquiesced to her wishes. He responded to her kisses. He let her know by his movements how to touch him, where pressure pleased him. He caressed her where she placed his fingers and his hands. She held his hands at his sides while she brought him to arousal with her lips. And when she knelt with her knees on either side of his head and grasped the headboard with her hands, he took hold of her hips and mouthed her until she collapsed on his chest. The only time he overrode her wishes was when he adjusted the condom she had placed on him before she lowered herself onto him. This time, she held his hand against her as she moved on him, and again, he was able to give her several orgasms before he reached his.

They didn't sleep after that time, just lay there in each other's arms. She went into the bathroom. He followed, to give her a towel and a washcloth, and watched her cleanse herself. After she put on her underpants and her pantyhose, he helped her dress, fastening the bra he had unhooked earlier, slipping the camisole over her head, zipping and buttoning the skirt at her waist. He put on his jeans and his T-shirt. He lent her his comb.

They walked into the main room, arm in arm and again he steadied her as she put on her shoes. He helped her with her jacket and her trench coat. They smiled at each other, kissed many, many times. He opened the door, and gave her into the safekeeping of her agents. Maybe it was his imagination, but he thought that the men looked at him differently, that he was now part of the team that protected her.

Closing the door, he suddenly realized that in the entire evening, they had only spoken 50 words aloud, and everyone of them was about Robin's pot-still whiskey. Her glass was still there, the faint imprint of her lipstick still on it. He poured some into it for himself and drank from the opposite side, not wanting to destroy her mark on his crystal.

The next day, he opened the invitation to Leo's funeral that a White House messenger had delivered late yesterday afternoon. He had expected it, but was surprised to also see a card for the reception later in the White House. He looked again at the invitation. It did not say he was invited as a member of the press; at the bottom of the invitation was the notation "personal guest of Claudia J. Cregg", with a number under the notation. An enclosed note requested that he be sure to bring photo identification with him. She did not come by that evening, but he did not expect her to do so. Friday after the service, they finally talked a bit about what had happened on Wednesday and made plans for that evening. Those plans were thwarted by what they discovered some four months later, while having dinner with Donna and Josh, was a high comedy worthy of Hepburn, Bankhead, Grant, and Stewart.

November 8, 2007

Of course, a day later, she did come back and he did have candles and a fire and champagne and flowers and he seduced her and she seduced him. And they did talk and the talking led to appointments with Millicent Griffith and tests and oral contraceptives and to being able to stay within her afterward until the degree of flaccidness caused him to slip out of its own accord and to some conflict which was resolved and eventually to marriage and a house and to two little lives growing inside her as a result of their love.

As he drove back to Santa Monica, Danny Concannon reflected that he was, in his own way, a man of faith, once again, in his own way, a practicing ("because I still haven't gotten it right") Catholic who believed in God and who also held with the spirituality of his celtic heritage. He knew that God intended for him and CJ to be together. But he wondered if it would have come about the way it did if God had not chosen November 7, 2006 to call back to Himself the soul of Leo Thomas McGarry. Would he and CJ have consummated their relationship, both physically and emotionally, before she had to choose between Matt Santos and Franklin Hollis? Would she have known that there was a life for her outside of politics and government? Would he have had any part in that decision? Would she have learned that she was on the fast track to becoming very good at "this"? Had Matt Santos not needed the support of moderate Republicans for a new Vice-President, would he have been inspired to bring his former rival into his circle of counselors, to bring about the best hope for true bipartisanship in the sensible center in over 50 years?

He remembered what Luke, one of the other guys in their suite at Notre Dame, told Tim and himself when they were burying Luke's mom. "For ten years, God kept my mother's body alive after he had taken her mind and I could never understand why He would do that. But all these past few days, so many people have come to me and told me how moved they were to see the way Dad cared for Mom, to see how much it killed him to have to put her in the nursing home last year. And I realized that God used my parents to show others what love is supposed to be." Did God use Leo's death to bring about other good things? Did He work like that, drawing straight with crooked lines?

Danny realized that he needed to think about these things on the beach or in a church or even sitting in a bar. The one place he did not need to think about these things was in a car on the Los Angeles freeway system during morning rush hour. So he remembered Leo and said a few prayers for him.

Later that morning, he went to the supermarket and bought the ingredients to make the Dungeness crab, avocado, hearts of palm, and asparagus salad that CJ liked so much. He also got the mango sorbet that she was craving before she left for Europe (and hoped that it hadn't been replaced by some other food), a baguette, some flowers and some candles. He found the lace nightgown from their wedding night (and another, looser one just in case it also was a little tight) and the silk pajama bottoms his nieces had given him. He received a call telling him that the jet that was bringing CJ home to him would arrive at Van Nuys airport about 3:30 PM. Good, easier to get to and deal with than LAX.

He took a brief nap, showered, and decided, as he drove to get her, that he would ask her if, after dinner, they could spend the evening not talking, not even once.


	21. Mother of Invention

**Mother of Invention**

CJ/Danny, Jed, Abbey, mentions of others

NC-17

Through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

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December 18, 2007 Santa Monica, CA and Chicago, IL

The phone rang in the Santa Monica house about 6:10 PM. Picking up, Danny saw that it was CJ's cell number.

"How's the most beautiful point four mom in the world?" he asked.

"As frustrated as everyone else in this purgatory on earth known as O'Hare International Airport," CJ replied. "The storm is over and they've reopened the runways, but getting on a plane is another story. I'm on standby for everything tonight and the 6:00 AM tomorrow. I was able to get a confirmed seat on the 8:00 AM."

She had flown up to Chicago last night on the "red eye", leaving Los Angeles at 11:30 and arriving in Chicago early that morning. She was at the University (and in Chicago, there is only one university) to set up the group that would plan the routes into the African interior. The group would include geologists, engineers, anthropologists, and political experts. She explained to them that "Road to a Better World" was not looking to build American-style superhighways, nor was the project interested in a Cairo-to-Capetown, Monrovia-to-Mogadishu type network. The physical nature of the continent, plus the large number of not always friendly with each other countries, discouraged such a plan. Instead, they would branch out from the major ports and cities into the less developed parts of the area; riverways of concrete, not water. Once the group was established, they would do their research and make their recommendations without any real oversight on her part.

"Listen, why don't you skip the standby hassle and take a room for the night? I know you said you were able to sleep on the plane last night, but it's been a long day for you, Apollo, and Diana. And getting from gate to gate can't be much fun." He coughed on the last sentence.

"So it's one of each today?" she kidded. "Are you sure you wouldn't mind? It would be nice to get out of these clothes. Of course, I don't have anything to change into."

"So you stop in one of the sports shops and buy a 2XL shirt," he told her. "Hang up with me, get a room, and call me back." He coughed some more.

"Okay. You don't sound good."

"I'll live. You get a bed for the three of you. Love you."

"Me, too."

She called back about 10 minutes later. "The Hilton right here in the airport had a vacancy," she reported, "so I'm taking it. It's hideously expensive, but they have twenty-four hour room service and I'm worth it. Or at least I hope Frank thinks so."

He started coughing again. "Okay, go buy your shirt, check in, get something to eat and call me."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Don't worry about me. Scoot."

The phone rang and woke up Danny. As soon as he picked up, he started into a sneezing fit.

"That doesn't sound good."

"I guess maybe I picked up something last week in the Sierras." They had gone up to gold country and explored around for a few days. On the way back, outside of Mariposa, Danny spotted a "cut your own" Christmas tree farm and they stopped, picked out a Frazier fur, and brought it back with them. "The ones in the lots were probably cut around Veterans' Day," he said. The tree was in its stand in the living room, but they were waiting until she returned to decorate, so except for the Christmas nail that Tim had given them, there was nothing on it. "So, I hope that it was a Notre Dame shirt that you bought."

"In your dreams. It says 'Bears', even if it is navy and orange instead of navy and gold. And, yes, I took a shower; yes, I had a decent meal – baked chicken, baked potato, green beans, and 1 percent milk; yes, I've arranged for my wakeup call; and, yes, I am settled in bed with my feet propped up, and after we hang up, I will go right to sleep and not read all the fascinating andexciting stuff I have about concrete versus macadam surfaces, gravel underlays, and road sealants. What's up at home?"

"Not much. Hank and Steve invited us to their Christmas party next week. Frank and Diana Munoz" he named the family two houses on the other side "are hosting a _posada_ tonight, asked me over, but I think I'll try to sleep off this cold that's coming on. Oh, Abbey called. Annie, excuse me, Anne Westin will be in her first musical at UCLA after the break, she wants us to go and take pictures, maybe videos for them. Abbey said it was one of your favorites. How come I don't know about your passion for _Best Little Whorehouse in Texas_?"

CJ groaned. "She's never going to let me live that down. I guess I didn't tell you. It was the morning of the Inauguration and we were gathered to watch Abbey and the President" for CJ, there would only be one president"leave for the last time. Ed and Larry-"

"Why am I afraid of anything that involves you, Ed, and Larry?" he muttered.

"Shush – asked to me settle a bet they had for the past seven years. Ed said I had a tattoo, Larry said no. They wanted to know who got the steak dinner."

"Please tell me that you didn't strip to prove that your beautiful body has never been touched by a needle, except for shots."

"I told them I didn't have a tattoo, then started singing:

_'Brands belong on cattle, and that ain't what we're selling at Miss Mona's'_ ,

not realizing who was right behind me. I don't know who was redder, me or Helen Santos."

"No wonder it was such an ugly vase. But we were invited to the gala in San Francisco in February, so she's probably not holding a grudge."

"Danny, if we go to that, I'd need to buy something to wear and maternity evening wear is ridiculously expensive."

"That's okay, I want you to look sexy and attractive, but in a **very** refined way."

"You did have to mention that word, didn't you?" she groaned.

"Bad tonight, babe?" For the past couple weeks, his wife's libido was periodically going off the charts.

"Yeah." Deep sigh. "It's hard to explain, but it actually **hurts**--".

"You want to know how many times I **hurt** after those kisses we shared over the Bartlet administration?"

"So now you're laughing at me?"

"No, Jeannie," he said softly. Then he joked, "I guess the shower head is fixed and not on a hose."

"Yep and nope."

"And a fancy-schmancy place like that doesn't have a self-serve laundry."

"How do you know about that?"

"I watch '_Scrubs_'. And you don't have a bathing suit, so the jacuzzi is out."

"Danny!" she squealed.

"Well, you know what they say about necessity. You've got about eight of these little trips over the next few months, don't you? I think I better add a little battery powered something to my stocking stuffer list for you."

"I don't believe you!" she exclaimed. Then, softer, more serious, "Danny, you wouldn't mind if I – "

"I mind that I'm not always around to take care of your needs, but if I can't – "

"I don't know if it would help if it wasn't **you**, if only like the football game – "

They both fell silent, remembering what happened a couple of weeks ago.

Danny was watching the Army-Navy game in the dining room turned bedroom. For once, it was an exciting game, the outcome still up in the air with 10 minutes left in the fourth quarter. CJ came into the room.

"How was the walk?" he asked, his eyes remaining on the screen.

"Okay," she answered. "Danny, how much longer will the game be?"

"Maybe 25-30 minutes."

"Oh."

The woebegone tone in her voice caused him to look up and one look at her face told him what the problem was.

He muted the television, turned on the closed captioning.

"Come here." Opening his legs, he pulled her down into the Vee, her back toward him, and lifted her shift up to her waist. Putting his left arm across her upper arms, he reached into her panties with his right.

She moved a little in protest. "Danny, I can wait."

He kissed the side of her neck. "But you don't have to. Close your eyes and let me do this for you."

And while Army and Navy each scored a touchdown and a field goal, Danny took care of the tension that was built up in his pregnant wife. Luckily, the gods of love won out over the gods of war, and Navy won on a last minute field goal, so there was no overtime. The network showed a jubilant Matt Santos with Josh Lyman sitting behind him. And CJ felt a lot better. Then Danny turned off the television and after another ten minutes, both of them felt even better.

"CJ?" Danny's voice brought her back to the present. "Put your phone on speaker and put it beside you on the bed." Softly, but with authority. "Now get yourself real comfortable and put your hand where you want mine to be."

"Danny, I don't know if I – ".

"Sweetheart, I would never make you do anything you don't want to do and if you don't want to, it's your call. But, I also don't want you worrying about how much a dress is going to cost and I don't want Ed and Larry talking about your body and most of all, I don't want you hurting. I'd like to take care of you, but my hands and my mouth can't reach to Chicago, so I'm asking you to help me take care of you."

"What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to do all the things you like, all the things you taught me to do."

"What about the things I didn't know I liked until you did them to me?"

"Them too."

She put the phone on speaker and did as he asked. He told her how much he loved her, he told her about her eyes and her lips and her navel. He told her about the way she glowed when the afternoon sun came in through their bedroom window and how she glistened when it was moonlight's turn. Her told her how much he liked being in the circle of her arms and the circle of her legs.

And when he heard the little sigh that he had come to know meant that while he hadn't taken her to the sun, the moon, and the stars, he had taken her to the top of the lighthouse by the pier, he told her again that he loved her.

She picked up the phone. "Danny, did we just have phone sex?"

"Yeah, I guess we did. Or at least you did."

"Are **you** hurting now?"

"Not really. Maybe I **am **getting sick," he laughed.

"It was nice. I prefer the real thing, mind you, but it was nice." She yawned out loud.

"Necessity, again," he added. "Now tell me your flight info for tomorrow so I can meet you and then you get some sleep."

"Danny, just this once, couldn't I take a cab? You're getting sick and –".

"CJ, it's non-".

"Negotiable," she completed his sentence and sighed. "I think it's about 10:15 our time. Four hours' flight time less two hours' time change. I'll call from the plane."

"Good night, sweetheart. Love you."

"Love you back," she said.

She got out her phone charger and plugged it in. She started for the bathroom to wash her hands and then changed her mind, got back into bed.

They usually fell asleep in the classic "spoon" position and sometimes they would find themselves awakening together in the middle of the night. She would shift her upper leg to give him access and he would kiss the back of her neck and slide into her. They would move slowly together, as if the children inside her were already born and sleeping in the same room and they did not want to disturb the babies. He would use his hand on her and between that hand, the fullness inside her, and the teasing of his testicles as they gently slapped against her fanny, she would usually experience a very intense, yet very quiet orgasm. He would kiss her neck again, and pull her back against him, his arm around her. Secure in the warmth of his body against her back and the protection of his arm around her, she would kiss the hand that had made her feel so good, and fall asleep again to the odor of her body on that hand. Maybe tonight, if she closed her eyes and tried really hard, she could pretend that it was Danny's hand from which the odor emanated.

She thought about the last part of their conversation.

It was back in early April, when she and Franklin Hollis were working out details. Danny told him that he didn't want CJ in cabs or on buses, that sort of thing. When she flew into places, he wanted her met by bonded and certified limousine drivers. To her surprise, Frank Hollis was in total agreement and said he had the same arrangements for his wife when she traveled for his other foundations.

Then Danny told her that, for the most part, he would be taking her to and from the LA airports. He would walk with her to the security checkpoint; he would wait in the airport until her flight took off from the runway. On return flights, he would meet her in baggage claim. If the trip began and ended during "normal business daylight hours" and was short enough that she could park in the lot, she could drive herself. If the return on such a flight was late, after those "normal business daylight hours",she was to let him know in what lot she was parked. He would come to the airport and park in the same lot. He would meet her in baggage claim and they would walk to her car. She would drive him to his car and they would leave the lot together. He would follow her home.

It was their first big fight, if you can call a situation where only one person argued a fight. He never once raised his voice. He never spoke angrily. He never sighed or exhaled through his nose. He never called her "Claudia Jean".

But every time she thought she made a valid point, every time she stopped to take a breath, he very calmly repeated the same three words, "CJ, it's non-negotiable".

He helped with the cooking; he helped with the cleaning. He was more conscientious with the laundry than she was, separating for both the washer and the dryer according to the labels. He didn't tell her what kind of toilet paper to buy ("as long as it's two-ply and soft"); he let her do the budget and handle the money ("you're the child of the math teacher"). He accepted without question her judgment about the house they bought and how it could be made to work for them. He did all the "guy" things efficiently and competently. He took care of her car. He did all the "gentlemanly" stuff, but he did not do them condescendingly. He had given her a wonderful vacation in San Diego. He had given her a very special wedding night under trying circumstances. He had given her the honeymoon of her dreams. There were times when she was in danger of letting her emotions get the best of her and he reined her in, but he never did it meanly and he never embarrassed her in front of others. He was the perfect twenty-first century fiancé and husband.

And with regard to this one aspect of her life, he expected total, unquestioning obedience from her.

She thought back to winter, when she and Danny went to New Hampshire to visit with the Bartlets. There was one afternoon when she was alone with Abbey. They were walking in the snow toward a creek that would eventually run into the Merrimack.

"Abbey, what do you do when they become overprotective?"

"In what sense? I've seen the way Danny acts around you. He looks out for you, but he doesn't treat you as if you were made out of spun sugar. Does it bother you?"

"No, I like it. You know, once I told Simon that I liked him being tall because it made me feel feminine; with Danny I feel not only feminine but cherished and I revel in it. No, it's the way I feel he sometimes wants to shield me from the real world, from the things I've dealt with all my adult life."

"Sometimes you kiss them, tell them that you love them, but that in this particular situation, you can take care of yourself. Once in a while, you tell them you can take care of yourself, but skip the kissing and telling them you love them part. And once in a while, you thank God that there is someone who wants to take care of things for you. The tricky part is knowing when to do what."

"Yeah, I wonder if I'm wanting it to be that last one more than I should. So you just get all Ephesians with it and submit?"

"I wish that Paul had chosen whatever Greek word best translates to 'deferential' because that's what I think he really meant. Submissive sounds abasive and self-effacing. Deferential implies more dignity, more choice, more self-respect on the part of the one doing the deferring. It implies 'My views are just as important, just as valid, but I'm accepting your views in this situation.' But then I didn't major in Linguistics," the former First Lady laughed.

"Abbey, have you ever thought, what it would have been like, married to a good man like your husband or my Danny" she smiled at the thought "back in the middle ages when all you had to do was keep him fed and clothed and happy in bed, have a kid every other year? To defer, as you put it, to him on everything else? To not have to deal with the money or earning a living? To let him handle all of it?"

"CJ, those books that Carol and Margaret gave you must have really done a number on you. I'm sure that a lot of those women worried about the money and the crops and were in a panic because they felt there was nothing they could do about it. Not to mention the constant worry about your man getting run through with a sword and definitely not to mention dying from giving birth to one of those kids every other year. I'm sure that although, in the end, they deferred, they made their views known; and I'm sure that a lot of those 'good men' were smart enough to recognize the wisdom that came from the minds and the mouths of their wives and did some deferring themselves."

So Claudia Cregg Concannon, 99 parts liberated and 1 part deferential, turned over and went to sleep.

Danny got up and took some Tylenol. He was beginning to feel as if a ten-ton semi trailer had driven over each of his joints – elbows, shoulders, knees. His throat was sore and the light bothered his eyes. He could hear the sounds of the _posada_ songs being sung up the street and wished he felt well enough to join the group and the party afterward, but he had to feel better so he could pick up CJ tomorrow.

He remembered their time in New Hampshire with the Bartlets. Late in the afternoon of the second full day, he was in the kitchen with the former President, while CJ and Abbey were out walking. Two days ago, he and CJ arrived at the farm, and that afternoon, the four of them talked together. Yesterday morning, he and CJ talked with just Abbey, and then in the early afternoon, they talked with Jed by himself. Later that afternoon, he talked with the first couple while CJ visited with Liz. This morning, he caught up with Zoey while CJ talked with the Bartlets. Earlier this afternoon, he met with Abbey while CJ met with Jed. In addition to talking about the female psyche, she had gone into some detail about the female body and how the two interact; for the life of him, he couldn't imagine the man sitting across from him having the same sort of discussion with the woman he considered his fourth daughter. With all the different combinations, many topics related to marriage and making it work were covered.

He got up to pour himself another cup of coffee, offering the pot to the other man, who shook his head no.

"Mr. President, your wife is a very strong, very dedicated, very intelligent, and very emotional woman."

"Stipulated."

"My Jeannie, my CJ" he smiled at the thought "is also a very strong, very dedicated – ".

"She worked for me for over eight years, Danny. Again, stipulated."

"You get an immense pleasure, a sense of pride, just sitting by and watching them throw down on the big stage, but you don't want them to get hurt. There's this fundamental need to protect, but you have to resist a lot of the time, at least in this day and age. But sometimes, you feel as if you need to draw a line, insist. How do you know if and when?"

"Danny, when you find out, please let me know," the older man laughed. "Seriously, it's easier to know when** not** as opposed to when **to**. Apart from the obvious stuff – never on money, never on her friends, unless there's a criminal or a sadist in the bunch, never on the stereotypical remote, those kinds of things – it's got to be something about, and for her. It's got to be something important to you, but not about you. Except that she is everything to you and if it's about her, it is in some way about you because without her, you aren't anymore."

Danny wasn't sure why he felt the way he did about her safety getting to and from airports. It wasn't one of his strange premonitions. All he knew is that he felt better knowing that she would not be walking into parking lots in the dark and that she would not be in cabs with random drivers.

After he had finally convinced her that she couldn't change his mind, she had sighed, smiled, and kissed his cheek. "You really are very sweet," she laughed. He pulled her into his arms, kissed her hair, and whispered "If anything ever happened to you…".

Taking one more sip of water from the bottle on the nightstand, he fell into a fevered sleep.

December 19,2007

The plane was about 40 minutes away from touchdown at LAX. CJ had tried to reach Danny three times at home and three times on his cell, with no answers. More than a bit worried, she pulled out her phone book and called Hank and Steve. When Steve answered, she explained the situation, told him where the spare key was hidden, and asked him to check. She would call the house again in 5-10 minutes.

Apparently her husband had a very nice case of the flu and slept through all the calls. Steve didn't think he was in any danger, but he was definitely feverish, weak, and in not condition to get out of bed, let alone drive to the airport.

"CJ, he asked me to meet you. What airline, what flight, and when?"

"Steve, I can get a cab, you don't have to go to that trouble."

"CJ, he also said to tell you it was –"

"Non-negotiable," she sighed. "Actually, it might be good, we can stop at the market on the way." She gave him the details, hung up, and reached for her phone book again. Air-Fone was sure going to make a lot off her today.

"Erin, it's CJ." Pause. "I'm okay, on my way home from Chicago, but Danny has the flu. When you were sick as kids, did you mom give you ginger ale, Seven-Up, or Sprite?" She wrote down ginger ale. "Fizzy or flat?" Fizzy. "Chicken broth, chicken noodle, or chicken rice?" Rice. "Anything else?" Buttered white toast with the crusts cut off. Scrambled eggs with hot dog circles. Baked potatoes. Lemon Jell-O. Cheracol-D. Vicks Vapo-Rub.

"Thanks, Erin, I'll call tomorrow and let you know how he's doing."

One more call to her ob/gyn's office. The nurse told her that the babies should be okay as long as she washed her hands after touching Danny and anything he touched. Bleach would be a good disinfectant. To be on the safe side, she might consider latex gloves.

When she arrived home, Steve put the groceries away while she went to check on Danny. He was definitely running a fever; the sheets were clammy. He needed a shower, clean clothes.

She thought a bit, then went to the garage and got one of the white resin chairs they kept for when they had extra company. She put it in the shower and got out a fresh set of sheets. With Steve's help, she got him to the bathroom, got him undressed (and smiled when the other man closed his eyes) and in the chair. Steve volunteered to change the bed and she stripped down to her underwear and used the shower massage unit to bathe her husband. She managed to get a toothbrush into his mouth. She dried him as best she could, getting him to lean forward so she could dry his back and get a T-shirt on him. Steve told her he would be in the living room when she needed his help again, so she changed into a dry bra and underpants, put on a shift and then the two of them got Danny back into bed. He was asleep before his proverbial head hit the proverbial pillow.

She and Steve talked for a bit. He mentioned the party next week and she said that Danny had told her about it.

"But did he tell you that it was a costume party?" he asked.

"A costume party at Christmas?"

"It's a hoot. Come as an elf, come as an angel. Last year, nine guys came as candlesticks strung together with bungee cords. They said they were a menorah. Maybe you could come as a dreidel," he joked.

"Or Danny could be the angel and I could be the tree that is stuck up ..".

At that point, the man left, telling her to be sure to call on them if she needed any more help.

She prepared the Jell-O and put it in the refrigerator to set. She put some soup on to heat when it was ready, turned the burner down to simmer. Then she went to the bedroom and taking the throw from the loveseat, carefully lay down on top of the covers. Hank and Steve were good neighbors and were becoming good friends. Later she would talk with Danny, see how he felt about giving them keys to the house, the cars, just in case. She looked around. The contractors had finished up two weeks ago and were now building the other "C" extension that would turn the house into a flattened "A". She could just see into the little room that was painted light yellow with a baby-themed wallpaper border and paper below the chair rail. After the first of the year, they would start to buy cribs and other furniture.

Later, after he woke up and she gave him ginger ale and chicken soup, she sat on the bed with his head against the side of her expanding stomach. His arm was across her belly and she was playing with his hair.

"Thank you for being so good about the airport stuff." He mumbled into her skin. "It's not an ego trip, CJ, I do worry - ".

"I know," she said softly, "and on this issue, I subm, I defer to your wishes. Just don't start expecting it on anything and everything."

"Wouldn't dare dream of it. And thanks for getting me cleaned up. I feel so much better. That was really smart about using the chair."

"Well, you know what they say about necessity." And she continued to play with his hair and he fell asleep again.

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From "_A Lil Ole Bitty Pissant Country Place_" by Carol Hall

And please don't show us no tattoos  
No hearts and flowers on your thigh

(spoken "It's downright tacky")

Brandsbelong oncattle and that ain't what we're selling at Miss Mona's

(spoken "Do you catch my drift?")


	22. Living La Vida Nonloca

**Living La Vida Nonloca**

CJ/Danny, mentions of others

G-rated

Through "Tomorrow"

Not mine, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

This started out as the first part of a chapter about CJ and Danny at Big Sur; it is now one of three or four chapters

Thanks to kel288 for her input re the true nickname of the school in San Luis Obispo

Santa Monica, CA mid-January 2008

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Danny pulled into the driveway and sighed. He had just spent two hectic days in New York at the main office of his publisher, getting to know the woman who would be shepherding his latest book through the publishing process. He had managed to get his flight home switched to a non-stop rather than changing planes in Dallas, but it had been a last minute change and he didn't have time to call home before the flight boarded. Then the Air-Fone service went out and he was unable to let his wife know that he would be home two hours earlier than expected.

Letting himself in the house, he was at first startled and then curious as he heard his wife giggling in the bedroom.

"That tickles!" she exclaimed.

The reply was mumbled and not understandable, but the voice was definitely male.

"It is okay if I press in here?" This voice was clearer, and female.

He dropped his laptop case and carryon. "Ah, CJ?" he asked, rather loudly, with some doubt creeping into his voice.

"Oh, shit! He's back early! Danny, I wanted to keep this from you, but I guess you better get in here."

He had already reached the bedroom door by the time she finished talking. She was in the center of the room. On her right side, Hank from next door was kneeling, removing a bunch of pins from his mouth. On the left, Diana from two doors up on the other side was working with pins on some sort of tomato shaped thing on her wrist.

CJ had on a half-sewn together dress. It was the dress she wore to the Indonesian state dinner the first year of the Bartlet administration, but it wasn't that dress. The color was the same, but the top was different. Instead of coming up high at the neck, it was one of those one-shouldered tops, and instead of fitting in at her waist, there were what looked to be lots of tiny pleats that were stitched down to under her bust line but above where her waist normally was(he later found out it was called "pin tucking"). Some of the pleats were longer than the others, in sort of a random pattern.

"It's the dress, but it's not the dress," was all he could say.

His mouth free of the pins, Hank looked at him. "I tried to get it to work, Danny, but that high neckline needed the bodice to drape down to a fitted, natural waistline, and a fairly straight line skirt. If we try to put the fullness she needs with it, it looks like the uniforms worn in a women's prison in a _Lifetime Movie Network_ disaster." Hank worked in the costume department of one of the studios in LA.

"That looks nice," Danny replied, a little uncertain about what was going on. He noticed a couple of unopened beers and sodas on the table. "Those drinks for anybody?"

"Take one," Diana said. "We're fine and our hands are busy anyway."

So Danny opened a beer, sat down, and watched as Hank and Dianafolded and pinned the top of the dress to fit CJ. He thought that he was enacting a middle-class version of one of those movies where the rich man about town takes his wife (or mistress) to the fancy dress shop and drinks champagne while the people fuss with fabrics and stuff.

"When you told me how much you liked that dress, I wanted to surprise you," CJ told him. "If I had known before, I would have taken it with me to Scotland, worn it in Dublin, instead of that black crepe and chiffon palazzo pants with white blouse thing."

"Nothing wrong with a nice pair of black crepe and chiffon palazzo pants," Hank interrupted.

"Anyway, I did need something for that thing in San Francisco next month and since we're bartering, it's only the cost of the fabric and the other things."

"CJ's going to give a couple of lectures to my classes and arrange for some special tours for the senior class trip to Washington." Diana taught high school social studies. Her tailoring talents were more of a hobby now.

"And **you**," Hank pointed to him, "will be helping Steve and me when we replace the kitchen cabinets and countertops in March."

"And other than the envy of all the other men at the gala, what do I get out of this?" he asked his wife.

"We can negotiate that in private."

They had finished the pinning. CJ looked at herself in the mirror. "It's going to be great, guys. I guess there's nothing to do about the way my butt's starting to fill out," she said.

Diana laughed. "You need the weight back there to help you balance the weight in front. After three, you learn. It will go away after if you eat right; mine did.

Hank stood up and started playing with CJ's hair. "Pin it up loosely, kind of like you just got out of bed and had a good time there. And smudge your eye shadow. Give them something to wonder about. You'll need lots of stones at your neck, a bracelet, some drop earrings."

"I've got my pearls," she said.

"No, the pearls are too warm, too creamy. You need something cool, icy with this grey. Maybe some matching combs for your hair."

"Yeah, remember, I'm not one of your starlets who can borrow stuff from Harry Winston or Tiffany. I've got some white gold and silver pendants and chains that might work."

Diana draped a capelet over her shoulders. "We'll line this, of course, maybe even put a thin layer of wool inside, keep you a little warmer."

"Okay. Diana, help me out of this. Guys, scoot."

Danny and Hank went over to the kitchen.

"Hank, what should I get her, jewelry wise? I don't know what would be right, but from what you said, those chains wouldn't be enough and this is going to be -"

The other man interrupted him. "Violet, set in silver," he said. Then, looking off in the distance, half to himself, "iolite. A marquise cut tennis necklace, maybe 15 inches, to reach just to the hollow in her neck. Matching bracelet, of course. No more than three stone dangle on the earrings, especially if we get jeweled combs for her hair." He looked back at Danny, smiling. "The stones, the iolite, aren't that expensive; of course, we're probably talking sixty or seventy carats total, so it will add up some, but it's silver, not gold. If we can't find it in iolite, we'll get amethyst, I'll start calling around." The man began to walk out the door, turned around. "I'll have Diana line the cape in violet silk."

CJ and Diana came out of the bedroom. Diana was carrying a large garment bag. "I'll have this done by the middle of next week," she said. "Let's hope those boobs don't grow much before the event. Oh, did you hear? The Mattock kids finally agreed on Bert's estate and the house will be listed next week."

"I miss Bert," Danny said. "He had a lot of good stories about the blacklist era."

They continued to discuss the man who had lived between them until he died two months ago. Then Diana said she had a hungry family to feed and left to think about what to defrost.

"Come here, you," she said, draping her arms around his neck and kissing him. "You looked a little freaked when you first saw the dress. Is it okay? Andi offered to send me one of hers from the twins, it's tea length but I would have had to make it cocktail length and then I would have needed spikes, and this way, I can wear something more comfortable on my feet –".

"The dress is going to be great." His arms went around her waist, such as it was. He kissed her forehead, then her nose. "It's just that when I walked in and heard you giggling and a man's voice coming from our bedroom, and then a woman wanting to press, and then you swearing and saying something about trying to keep something from me –".

The implications of what he was saying dawned on her. "Danny, you thought that I was – with Hank and Diana, withsomeone other than you?" Her eyes started to widen.

"No, not with my brain and not with my heart, well, maybe just a little with my fragile male id, and I didn't recognize the voices," he laughed, hugging her tighter.

She pulled back, rubbed his nose with hers. "Silly, silly Danny," she laughed.

He smiled. "Yeah, I guess I am. I am also in dire need of a shower." He broke away, grabbed his overnight bag, and taking her hand in his other hand, pulled her toward the bedroom.

When he got out of the bathroom, she was asleep on the bed. She was catnapping quite a bit lately. He put on a pair of boxers and a T-shirt and balanced himself on the bed beside her. She woke up, stretched, and moved over to give him more room. "So tell me about New York?"

"Things look okay. The editor they've assigned to me seems to know what she's doing. Also, they're looking into doing Leo's biography and Mallory asked them to have me do it. I don't know if they're willing to wait until this one's done. Jim Rector from the _LA Times_ called, they want me to do an Op-Ed column twice a month; there'd be syndication involved, so the money would be good. They'd give me a cubicle, but I wouldn't have to go in, I could write from here, or anywhere there's a 'Net hookup. Of course, it would give me a chance to show off the picture you had done for me." For one of his Christmas presents, she had taken his favorite wedding shot of her (the full body one where the photographer had her stare off into the distance, focusing somewhere behind the camera, her arms folded on one of the wider planter stands, her lilies lying between her arms and her body) and had a sepia print made. He liked it so much that he had the guy make a small copy for his wallet. "Toby was in the throes of the new semester starting, but we did get to meet for beer and steamed shrimp last night."

"The Hollis Foundation board of directors meeting has been scheduled for next month in San Luis Obispo," she told him. The foundation headquarters were there attached to Cal Poly, Hollis' _alma mater_. "Our office here is moving in two weeks, still on the UCLA campus, but a bit closer to here. Nancy is ironing out the details. Thank God that Franklin Hollis is whole hog into all this virtual office technology he helped invent; it's making everything so – doable."

It was funny the way things were working out for the former West Wing staffers.

Matt Santos recognized what a valuable asset Margaret was to the running of the White House and now she was functioning as Executive Associate to Josh and Sam. Carol was now Josh's administrative assistant. CJ had offered Carol a blank check (within Hollis Foundation guidelines) to come to California, but in the closing months of the Bartlet administration, Carol had found a guy, a career staffer in the State Department working the eastern European desk, and CJ didn't blame her for wanting her chance at happiness. For some reason, Sam and Rina, who used to work for Toby, developed a real working rapport and she was now his administrative assistant.

Matt Skinner, of all people, fixed up Ginger with a congressman from New Jersey, a widower with three kids from an "old money" family. Now Ginger was throwing herself into step-motherhood with the same zeal that she had in the Communications bullpen. Cathy, who used to work for Sam, got divorced and came back, looking for a job. She was now helping Donna.

Nancy had moved back to Malibu to be with her parents and CJ had hired her to assist her in Santa Monica. For some arcane legal reason and because of some zoning ordinances in their neighborhood, they needed to have an official "office" somewhere else, but there would be no problem with Nancy coming to the house and the two of them working from there when CJ's pregnancy and impending new motherhood made it advisable.

The big surprise was Bonnie. Mid-western, Indiana native Bonnie had no qualms about picking herself up and moving out west to work with CJ, not in the relative security of CJ's offices with at least a couple of people she knew, but as her liaison in the Hollis Foundation headquarters in San Luis Obispo. She was doing an excellent job and kept CJ from having to make too many trips up there. It was only a couple of hours' drive, but the way Danny got all 19th century about her traveling, Bonnie was a godsend. And according to Sarita Hollis, she had caught the eye of the 40-something bachelor drop-dead gorgeous chair of the French department from Quebec City.

"Anything from Pete?" Danny asked about the general contractor who was overseeing their renovations.

"Actually, yes, he'd like to get the rest of the addition roughed in, roofed, and framed over the next three or four weeks. It would be hell for us now, but then things would go much better through the rest of this journey to May." She put her hand on her expanding stomach. "Oh, remember, we have Anne Westin's debut as a prostitute and Angelette on Friday."

"So it's the stage version and not the movie one?"

"Yes, you'll get to hear _'Twenty-four Hours of Loving'_. I understand that the girl who plays Jewel is something to hear."

He noticed a big pile of clothing on the edge of the bed. None of it looked familiar. "What's all that?" he asked.

"It's some tops and shorts that Diana is lending me," she replied. "I can't wear her dresses or pants or skirts, but these work fine."

He put a hand under her chin, turned her face to him. "CJ, are we having money issues? I mean, you're getting a homemade dress for the gala, getting hand-me-downs from the neighbors, almost took a dress from Andi. Look, Jim wanted me to do a column a week, but settled for two a month. I can tell them I changed my mind, I can do Leo's book at the same time."

"First of all, my 'homemade dress' has been custom designed by a Hollywood studio designer and is being sewn by someone who worked her way through college and grad school sewing wedding dresses and prom dresses for LA society. And the clothes aren't hand-me-downs, they're a loan. Diana wants them back when I'm done. She and Frank are planning to start number four in 15 months. The dress that Andi was going to give me, she got from someone who played for the Mystics. In fact, she had to cut it down. If she had been a little taller, I'd be wearing more of them. Maybe I should call someone with the Sparks, see if anyone has anything I can borrow – okay, can that idea." She saw his face and forestalled his objections. "But, Danny, this is what women **do**. And the budget is fine. All the clumping is working out."

"Clumping?"

"It's kind of the way I look at things, money wise. Frank's company has great benefits, so we're fine with medical, dental, eyes, that sort of thing. I'll get three months' paid leave after the kids are born. What we got from the sale of my place here and the condo in DC basically covered the initial cost of this place. My take home covers the food, the utilities, and our incidental stuff. Your Pulitzer money is covering the expansion and your advances are covering the splurges. This new stuff can go into the emergency fund. Of course, it's really ours, not yours or mine; it's just easier to think that way for allocating it. Right now, we're in better shape than most upper middle-class DINKs, not that we'll be DINKs for long."

"Okay." He kissed her on the side of her head. "But just look at you. About a year ago, you thought you couldn't do this and look at you now. You are so good at this."

"We both are. We're exchanging favors with neighbors, doing things with them, partying with them, dealing in a barter economy. We've got jobs that aren't requiring all of our lifeblood and time. I've had more sex and better sex in the past year than I had in the past twenty-five. I've got in-laws, two more nieces besides Hogan to be cool with, I'm going to be a mom, and best of all, I've got you. It just feels so , so –"

"Normal?" he suggested.

"Yeah, normal."

"Me, too. You know, things are going to get hectic in three months or so – "

"Ya think?"

"Smart mouth." He lifted the hand on her hip, let it drop with a light slap. "Pete wants to tear up the house for three or four weeks. Nancy will be moving your offices. We have an affair in San Francisco in two weeks, you have a board meeting at Cal Poly ten days after that. After the thing at UCLA, why don't we take off for about a month, shoot up I-5 to Mt. Shasta, then go over to the coast and drive down slowly, stop here and there for a couple of days, time it around the two things, spend a day or two with your brother?"

"We'd have our phones and our laptops. Diana could send the dress to Napa. We could pay their oldest to take care of Gail. Might be nice to get in some down time before everything turns loco. Let me check with the doctor, but if he says it's okay, let's do it. Now let me nap for an hour or so. Unless you're hungry now?"

"I can wait. Do you want to go out to eat?"

"No," she yawned. "I've got dinner covered."

"Yeah?"

"Flank steak and asparagus on the grill, steamed corn on the cob, sliced tomatoes, chocolate mousse."

"Living la vida nonloca," he sighed, as they both drifted off to sleep.


	23. Small Talk

**Small Talk **

CJ/Danny, Hoynes; mentions of Sam, Carol, Donna, M/H Santos, Josh, Margaret

G to PG for topic

Spoilers: through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed. My memories of San Francisco and California are 30 years old. I've googled and researched, but if you find any errors, please let me know.

This is the second part of something that started out as one chapter with a working title of "California One", which is the coastal road that runs from approximately Leggett to approximately Los Angeles.

I briefly mentioned the idea of CJ and Danny attending a formal event with the current Administration in order to work in the concept of Danny coming home unexpectedly and hearing disturbing sounds coming from his bedroom. However, I soon realized that it would be a good venue for a conversation I imagined should have taken place between CJ and Hoynes as part of "Full Disclosure". I wish to give many thanks to "writer in the making" for her permission to use her idea in my story.

"Road to a Better World" is my name for the project CJ is doing for Franklin Hollis.

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Early February 2008 San Francisco, CA

CJ lay on the bed in their room at San Francisco's Fairmont Hotel in pantyhose and slip. She could hear the cable cars clanging outside their room. Danny was sitting in the easy chair, working on his laptop. He was in his tuxedo pants and shirt, tieless so far.

The past two weeks had been a wonderful experience.

They drove up Interstate 5 to the Redding area and spent the night. After sightseeing around Mount Shasta in the morning, they took the two-lane road across the coastal range to Eureka. They had a reservation in Bodega Bay for three days ago, and then spent a couple of nights with her younger brother's family in Napa before coming here earlier this afternoon for the DNC fundraising gala.

For the ten days in between, they meandered down California Route One, playing it by ear, stopping where fancy and an available room caught them. Two of the places were really old-style hotels, and she was hard put to explain the feeling inside her as she watched Danny sign the old-fashioned registers "Mr.and Mrs. Daniel Concannon". On the second one, he saw her look and apologized, "I'm sorry, next time I'll put 'Claudia and Daniel', sweetheart." She told him it wasn't a problem; she thought it was cute.

They ate in small restaurants and diners, in bars, in country stores. Everyone was solicitous of her pregnancy, more than willing to alter menu items to meet her needs. She had bought some maternity slacks, a skirt, and one nice dress before they left Santa Monica and, with Diana's tops and shorts, she was set. She remembered the look on Danny's face the day they left; it was the first time she wore any of the outfits.

Danny was able to transmit his first op-ed piece from a McDonald's in Fort Bragg, and they checked email. Whenever she called in to Nancy or Bonnie, they told her that everything was fine and to enjoy herself and her husband. She called Diana and the neighbor UPS'ed the dress and stuff to her brother's place.

They talked with the local residents about little things, the town's economy, the events, and the weather. They did the local tourist things. Sometimes she was recognized; the other times she was not (or the people were too shy or too polite to say something.)

When Danny parked her Mustang at her brother's place in Napa and she got out of the car, he told Danny that he never expected to see the day when CJ would let anyone else drive her car. Thirteen, fourteen months ago, she would have agreed with him, but now, it was the most natural thing in the world to be in the passenger seat with Danny at the wheel of her "baby" as they shared the driving. They kept the top down on the first leg from Santa Monica to Redding; that night, Danny had told her that one of the reasons he worried about her being alone at the airport after dark was because someone could cut the top and get to her.

"So if I were to use your Camry," she started to ask.

"CJ, it's non-".

"Negotiable," she finished his sentence, kissed him, and snuggled down beside him under the heavy wool blanket on the bed.

After tonight, the next ten days would have to be more structured, given the popularity of the cental California coast. Reservations were a necessity. They would do sight-seeing in the city tomorrow and then they would spend the night in Half Moon Bay. Then a night in Santa Cruz, two in Carmel, followed by six in Big Sur. They would spend two days and nights in San Luis Obispo for the Hollis Foundation meeting and one in Santa Barbara at the resort where their wedding weekend took place, before heading home.

Danny stretched, headed to the bathroom. On the way back, he stopped by the bed, sat down, and kissed her neck, one hand lightly caressing her breast. "Hmmm, you smell good," he said. Sitting up, he asked, "What's the name of the stuff your sister-in-law wears?"

"It's _Paris_ by Yves St. Laurent," she answered, "and no, it's not named for Ms. Hilton, it's been around longer than she has. It doesn't smell nearly that good on me, I don't have the body chemistry for it."

"No, not for you. I mean, I like the way you smell." He kissed her again. "I was thinking about Fee. It was nice and flowery."

Fiona was Danny's older niece, just about to turn seventeen. "No, not for her," she said. "It's rosy and flowery, yes, but it's an experiencedwoman's rosy and flowery. It doesn't say 'Seventeen year-old virgin', and I think Robin would be happier with something that does." She made quote marks with her fingers. "We can find something for her when we get back if you like."

The phone rang. It was Jeff, one of Hank's friends in San Francisco. Hank had arranged for him to do CJ's hair and makeup for the gala. He was in the lobby. CJ gave him the room number, and put on her robe.

A knock on the door; introductions made. Jeff looked at the dress hanging on the bathroom door, looked at the pictures Hank had taken when he approximated the look he wanted for her hair, and set to work on her face. When he was done, the man asked her to uncover her shoulders; he dusted them with a translucent sparkling powder.

"Now let's work on your hair," he said, reaching for the curling iron he had plugged in and dumping a bunch of hairpins on the table.

Danny came to the table and handed him a black velvet box. "You might want to use these," he said, looking at CJ's eyes in the mirror.

She grabbed the box from Jeff and opened it. It held a dozen tiny hair combs, 4 teeth each, in sterling silver. On each comb, there were two little marquise-cut light blue-violet stones hanging from detachable delicate silver chains. "O-ohh, Danny!" she sighed, again catching his eyes in the mirror. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He kissed the top of her head and moved back to allow Jeff to work his magic.

The result was as Hank described it. Her hair was pulled back from the sides of her face and up from her neck in an apparently haphazard fashion, each piece fastened with one or two of the combs. There were wisps left to frame her face and at the nape of her neck. She took the hard mirror that Jeff handed her, turned around on the chair, and checked out the back view of her head. She thanked the man who had made her look so good.

Danny handed Jeff a small dark green gift bag. "Hank and Steve thought you might like this," he said.

Jeff reached in, pulled out a Mason jar with amber liquid, opened it, and sniffed it appreciatively. "Nectar from the gods," he exclaimed. CJ and Danny saw him to the door, again expressed their thanks.

Closing the door, CJ put her arms around Danny's neck. "Thank you again. By the way, if you continue to spread Robin's moonshine around, we're going to get visited by Revenuers," she joked.

"It's okay, I'm not selling it," he replied. "Let's finish getting dressed; we're supposed to be downstairs in twenty minutes.

She helped him with his tie and cufflinks – the platinum Gails. She put on the silver dress sandals with one-inch square-bottomed heels; then she stepped into her dress and held the bodice about her as Danny zipped up the back. She bent from the waist and lightly shook herself into the sewn-in bra. She was afraid of loosening her hair but the combs had extra long teeth and nothing happened.

She was reaching for the multi-strand liquid silver necklace she had planned to wear when Danny stopped herarm told her to close her eyes and hold out her hands. She felt him place something flat, about nine inches square on them. She opened her eyes to see an open jewelry box with a necklace, a bracelet and earrings in the same light blue-violet color as the stones in her hair. In the necklace and bracelet, the marquise stones were smack-dab against each other at an angle. The earrings consisted of a marquise cut stud, with two other stones on a short thin silver chain, an echo of the ones on the combs.

Her eyes filled with tears. "Danny, how did you ever, -"

He grabbed a tissue and dabbed at her eyes. "Let's not spoil this ravishing face," he said. "And thank Hank. He had the inspiration and the taste, he found them. All I did was pull out a credit card."

"And asked him to do it in the first place," she added. "All the women are going to be so-oo envious of me and all the men are going to be so mad at you." She took the necklace out of the box, handed it to him, and, turning her back to him, lowered her head. He fastened it and kissed the back of her neck. She fastened the earrings to her ears, put the bracelet on her wrist.

He put on his jacket and picked up the cape. "Do you want this on?" he offered to drape it over her shoulders.

No, I'll just carry it," she said. She took it from him, folded it over her arm and picked up her clutch bag. With her other hand, she smoothed his lapel and said, "Let's go downstairs."

They picked up their table assignment card at the entrance to the Grand Ballroom, checked the room diagram, and headed to their table. CJ's face lit up as she saw that they would be seated with Sam and Carol. Of course, she knew that Carol and Sam were "working" the event and had to court the other people at the table. This was not the time to reminisce or to catch up.

They were introduced to the four other couples at the table, influential contributors to the DNC from Chicago, Nashville, Omaha, and Tallahassee. The conversation was light, slightly partisan of course. The others were not fools, they knew who CJ was and they knew about Danny; when the conversation turned toward them, however, CJ and Danny diplomatically moved it back to the party's deep pockets. This was a "thank you and please" event – "thank you for your help in the past, please help again".

The man from Omaha noticed that CJ hadn't touched one of the _amuse bouche _on her plate, the one with asparagus and brie baked in phyllo; he asked if he could have it. "Can't get enough of this brie," he said.

"And when we first got married," his wife added, "he wouldn't eat anything green other than peas and cheese meant velveeta."

Carol called the waiter to her side and quietly reminded him that a special menu had been requested for Mrs. Concannon.

After dinner, there was dancing. During a break, they were walking back from the restrooms to their table when they heard Donna calling, "CJ! Danny! Over here!"

"Oh, Lord," CJ muttered. Donna was standing with the President and Mrs. Santos, and former Vice-president Hoynes.

"We can cut this short," Danny whispered. "You can pretend you're tired, a little queasy. I'm sure you'd only get three Hail Mary's for the lie."

"We'll see," she answered as they walked over to join the group.

She thanked the president for including them in the dinner.

"Not at all, we're glad to have you," replied. "In fact, we almost drafted you. Bram forgot his tux. If he hadn't been able to rent one, he'd be upstairs with room service and you and Danny would be schmoozing the guys from Toledo, Louisville, Waco, Hartford, and Seattle."

"Every once in a blue moon, small assignments like that, I wouldn't mind, sir. At least until these two" hand to her stomach "decide to make their debut."

Again, more small talk. When Donna asked about Anne Westin's acting, Danny quickly changed the subject to avoid any mention of the musical, getting the conversation onto "Road to a Better World".

"So, CJ," the president asked," should I be worried that you are spending the evening hitting up some of **my** donors for **your** project?"

"No, sir, as I mentioned before, right now we aren't actively seeking donations from anyone except the _uber_-wealthy. Maybe when we move on to 'Light up the World', which is the name we've tentatively given to the second phase to add energy to the infrastructure, we might get into fund-raising."

The former vice-president asked some questions about that phase and CJ explained that they were looking into solar, wind, and geothermal sources as well as hydroelectric power. At this point, they were ruling out nuclear energy. The politics of the area were much too unstable to gamble with it. Americans had experience with losing power, but they took their roads for granted. Light was more meaningful to the average American than macadam, so it might be efficient to fund-raise for that.

"But," she laughed, "the last time I asked for a donation, I asked my neighbor to donate a cup of sugar for the chocolate mousse I was making for dessert that evening."

"Danny, does CJ make good chocolate mousse?" Donna asked.

"Very good. It's even better as body paint."

"Danny!" CJ exclaimed, turning a very rosy pink. Everyone laughed.

The orchestra started playing again.

"Donna, I believe this is our dance," Matt Santos stated, leading her onto the dance floor.

"Danny, may I dance with your bride?" John Hoynes asked.

CJ looked at Danny, he looked back at her. He raised her hand to his lips, handed it to the former vice-president. "Just bring her back to me safe and sound." Turning to Helen, he bowed, saying, "Ma'am, may I have the honor?"

"I must say that marriage and impending motherhood seem to agree with you, CJ. You are radiant, you look relaxed, you are obviously in love, and that man is totally besotted with you," the Texan said, expertly turning her around the room.

"Thank you, sir."

His face became serious. "CJ, I said it before and I will say it again. What happened that night will never bementioned by me and I'm fairly sure that it's been buried way deep. But if someone were to find it, to want to use it – if you haven't already done so, make sure that Danny hears it from you **now**, just in case."

"He knows. He's known for some time, since before we – before I realized I belonged with him. But I'm not part of **this**," she waved the hand that had been on his upper arm, "anymore. And I certainly don't miss it. Why should anyone care?"

"My dear Claudia Jean, you are a beautiful, intelligent, witty, dedicated, and caring woman. If I had met you when we were in college, and if I had had the sense to pursue you and the honor to win you, I might not have felt the need to be a fool, and you could very well be First Lady right now. As it is, with the barriers dropping lower every day, you could, if you wished, be President some day. If you were to try, you would have enemies. **Someone** would care."

She could see again the charm that had seduced her into his bed that night so long ago. As much as she liked Matt Santos, this complex, intelligent man, for all his personal demons and flaws, would have beenbetter for this country. But she could not see herself as his First Lady. Maybe if she had never met Danny – she shuddered at the thought of going through life without Danny. There was no comparison.

"Mr. Vice-president - ".

"John," he interrupted.

"John," she acquiesced. "I thank you for the compliment, but there is no way I would ever aim for that. I've seen it. What I have now is so far beyond any of that. Donna will be president before I would ever consider it."

He looked over at the willowy blonde dancing with Matt Santos. "Don't underestimate Donna. She has grown and still is growing. Don't get me wrong, Josh is tremendous at what he does, he'll probably be better than Leo someday, but part of Josh will always be a little boy. I should know," he laughed self-deprecatingly. "Now Donna, there's something about her, there's a destiny there."

The music ended. As they were approaching Danny and Helen Santos, the First Lady told CJ, "Your husband is an excellent dancer. You are a very lucky woman."

Yes, ma'am, I know."

The president returned to claim his wife and walked off toward Josh, with Donna on his other arm.

John Hoynes handed CJ to Danny. "I know I'm not the first man to say this," he told the former reporter, "but I also won't be the last. You are a very lucky man. " He bowed to CJ, "Ma'am", backed off, and approached Margaret.

The music started again and Danny guided his wife back onto the floor. "Everything okay?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied, looping her arms around his neck. "I'll tell you all about it later, upstairs. Right now, let's just dance and not make any small talk."

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To get an idea of what CJ's necklace and bracelet might look like, go tothe QVCwebsiteand look at item # J98581. I have a similar bracelet, but mine is in garnet and gold. To see the stone color, check out the baguettes on J2840.


	24. The Fire of a Thousand Suns

**The Fire of a Thousand Suns**

CJ/Danny, mentions of others; very minor character death

Probably G

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

This is the third part of something that started out as one chapter with a working title of "California One", which is the coastal road that runs from approximately Leggett to approximately Los Angeles.

As far as I have been able to determine, Tassajara, "a valley not quite lost in the mountains", still exists as the Zen Mountain Center and is still open to the public during the summer. If anyone knows something to the contrary, please let me know and I will revise this story. A lot of this chapter is based on my memories of California from thirty years ago. I did research some on the web, but please let me know of any errors.

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Ventana Inn, Big Sur, CA mid-February 2008

Danny sat on the terrace of the inn, watching the sun begin to sink into the ocean. It was their last night of six at the inn and they had enjoyed their time here. Tomorrow, they would drive to Cal Poly and San Luis Obispo for the Hollis Foundation board of directors meeting and her presentation.

There had been several beautiful sunsets such as this one.

He was writing his second op-ed piece for the _Los Angeles Times_. Howard Stackhouse had died yesterday, and he was writing about the deceased senior senator from Minnesota. He had just finished writing about the famous filibuster and he stopped to reread.

_"At that time, my wife was President Bartlet's Press Secretary and last night, she told me some back story about the event. 'It was a Friday evening and everyone was trying to get away for the weekend. Why was this man sabotaging the Family Wellness Act? He had never seemed like a power-trip guy before. Why couldn't he compromise? When we discovered that his concern for autism was due to his grandson, the questions changed. Why didn't he tell anyone? Then everything changed. A few moments before, we were trying to defeat this man; now, we were trying to help him. I missed my father's birthday party – the last one he had before Alzheimer's claimed his mind from us. But it was worth it.' Last night, she cried for this man. It pains me to see my wife cry, but I think that Howard Stackhouse was worthy of her tears."_

His wife. CJ was in the room, napping. The changes in the past twenty-four days were amazing.

When they left Santa Monica at the beginning of the trip, he knew that her regular clothes were beginning to be unwearable, but he wasn't prepared for the sight of her that first morning in the full top over her capris. She seemed to swim in it. He must have looked at her funny, because she smiled shyly. A couple of days later, walking into a diner in Rio Dell to eat lunch, he noticed that he could see the swelling start to push against the folds of her top. He had done that to her. New life, two lives they had created, was growing inside her, his children were growing inside her. He felt a kindred spirit with all men back when they first figured out the connection between sex and conception. He wished his father were alive so he could share his joy with him, ask his advice.

The people they met were friendly, welcoming. You need to come back in the summer, in autumn. Come for the fair, for the carnival. Bring the babies, we love families here. He never realized how different the northern part of the state was from Los Angeles, from the Bay area. The hamlets and towns here and in the interior reminded him of Maine, of rural Pennsylvania, of the Appalachian states.

Last night, they were at Nepenthe for dinner, when someone she had known at Berkeley came in. He was now a Zen Buddhist and he had just hiked over the Santa Lucia range from a monastery in the forest."Tassajara!" she exclaimed. "I forgot all about Tassajara! Do they still allow outsiders to stay during the summer? Do they still bake the bread and sell it? Are the waterfall and the swimming hole still there?" She told Danny about the old hot springs resort, an hour's drive from Carmel Valley on a 16-mile dirt trail over a mile high mountain. ("Or you can hike it from here, takes all day," Dan added.) The Zen community bought the property and used it as a monastery. It was open to the public from May through September and people could stay there in cabins, eat the excellent vegetarian fare, use the natural hot springs. There was no electricity, only one phone for emergencies.

"We need to come in the spring," she said, before remembering that in May she would be almost due, and then they would have two new lives in their care. "Or next year, or the year after that."

The sun was getting closer to the horizon. He remembered another sunset like this one, one that burned so brightly, you would have thought there were a thousand suns. They were in Bodega Bay at a bar on the shore. The cook was shucking oysters and barbecuing them on the half-shell on the grill on the terrace, slopping sauce on them so they steamed in the moisture.The smell was intoxicating but the cooking method couldn't guarantee that they would be safe for CJ. "Go ahead, enjoy them," she said. And so they sat on the deck, watching the sunset, he with the oysters and beer, she with a single hamburger, a salad, and orange juice. He got into a good conversation with the local men and they stayed for hours, until she was getting too tired. She had told him she would drive back to the motel and that he could drink as much beer as he wanted.

There were many occasions where she refused to let him deny himself because of her pregnancy. Here at the inn, she had to limit her time in the hot tub, but she insisted that he spend as much time as he wanted in it. She sat in a chair in the hot tub area, talking with him, working on her presentation for the Hollis people, or reading one of the romance novels to which Margaret and Carol had introduced her.

He looked up and saw her walking toward him. She was beginning to get that "pregnancy walk" that women developed. Sometime over the past few days, something shifted or the kids had taken a quantum growth leap and she was definitely filling out the maternity tops. She looked beautiful.

She sat down beside him and holding hands, they watched as the water turned red with the fire of a thousand suns.

The fire of a thousand suns.

It was after the DNC gala and they were in bed, sharing a pair of pajamas as had become their custom. Soon, the tops would no longer fit around her expanding stomach and he made a note to buy some larger ones. As long as they had drawstring pants, he could make do.

She told him of her conversation with John Hoynes.

"He's wrong about one thing," he told her. "If he had met you in school or right after, you wouldn't have been the person you are now, and you couldn't have handled him. Now if somehow, he had been unmarried as vice-president, I could definitely see the two of you getting together. It would have been like a young Hepburn with a young Tracy, only a thousand times as fiery. It would have worked. And the cow that Leo would have had when he found out would have made what he did about me look like killing the fatted calf for the prodigal son."

"Danny?" She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

He turned to look at her. "I wouldn't have gone down quietly," he said. "I knew I had to wait for you and I had to give you space. But I had my eyes here, I had people on my side. If anything serious had developed, with Hoynes, with Toby, with Simon Donovan, with that ranger guy, with anyone, I would have come back, fought for you, done whatever I had to do, given up whatever I had to give up, the reporting, the paper, I would have taken a job mucking out cages at the zoo, whatever I needed to do to have you, Jeannie. If you had told me that you wanted to be a nun, if you had told me that the angel Gabriel had come to **you** and said that God wanted **you** to be the mother of His Son, I would have fought God for you even if I had to burn with the fire of a thousand suns as punishment for taking you from Him. I would have gone to hell and back for you, I would have fought to the death for you, Jeannie."

He stopped, shaking with emotion, needing to catch his breath. Tears in her eyes, she put a hand to either side of his face and gently kissed his mouth.

Calmer, he touched her lips with his fingers. "But if I had lost, if I were dying on the ground, there were some to whom I would have minded losing less than to others. There were some more worthy of you than others."

She raised her eyebrows in silent question.

"Well, God for one," he laughed. He lowered his gaze, took her hands in his. "CJ, about the boys' names - "

They had decided that since his parents were both dead, as was her mother, and her father was dead in mind if not in body, they would honor their parents in their children. His mother was Caitlin and hers was Kathleen, so there was a redundancy. If they had one girl, they had decided to use Mrs. Landingham's name, and she would be Caitlin Delores. His mother's middle name was Siobhan, hers was Sarah, so a second girl would be Sarah Siobhan. A single boy would be Padraic Talmadge ("Pad-Tal for short," she joked). But they didn't want Sean or Henry, their fathers' middle names. Leo was an obvious choice, but they still hadn't found a second middle name if the twins turned out to be two boys.

He kissed her hands, lifted his head, and looked into her eyes. "CJ honey, how do you feel about Padraic Leo and Talmadge Simon?"


	25. Concannon Counseling, Incorporated

**Concannon Counseling, Incorporated**

CJ/Danny, Josh/Donna, mentions of Bonnie, Nancy,Carol, Margaret, Abbey, Ellie, Zoey, Helen Santos

PG-rated for suggestive language

Through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback, criticism, and reviews always welcomed

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Late April 2009; Santa Monica CA

"Honey, I'm home, "Danny yelled as he slammed the front door.

"We know, we know," Josh shouted. "You make more noise than the Christian Right does when we suggest teaching Sex-Ed in high school."

"Well, the last time I came home from the airport, I walked in to the sounds of CJ giggling and a male voice coming from my bedroom. So now, I give fair warning."

CJ threw a pillow at her husband. "If I come home and hear **you** and Hank, that'd be cause for worry, if only because Steve throws a mean right hook. So Erin and the girls are on their way home?"

Earlier in the day, Diana Munoz had hosted a baby shower for CJ and Danny. Erin, Fiona, and Aisling flew in from Shannon for the event and afterward, Danny had taken them to LAX and waited until their plane took off.

Josh and Donna were spending the night with them. Donna had to go up to Palo Alto tomorrow; Stanford was going to give Helen Santos an honorary degree in June and Donna needed to meet with the committee for prep work. She and Josh wrangled a few extra days and they brought with them all the shower presents from Carol, Margaret, and the other West Wingers in DC.

It really was a nice shower. Her two sisters-in-law came in and then drove off together to Palm Springs for a week. Hogan wasn't able to get away from her carrier, but she called during the party. Bonnie drove down from San Luis Obispo with Sarita Hollis and all the ladies squealed when they spotted the delicate round brilliant cut diamond in a classic six-prong tiffany mount that graced Bennie's left hand.

When they were up at Cal Poly in February, CJ and Danny had dinner with Bonnie and Jean-Luc, the drop dead gorgeous chair of the French department. After dinner, CJ was helping Bonnie load the dishwasher while Jean-Luc and Danny discussed Canadian politics. Bonnie confided to her boss that the man had asked her to marry him and that she was taking him back to Indiana next weekend to meet her folks. "I don't know, CJ, my folks want to throw us a hu-ug-ge Indiana-style wedding, open church, hot and cold running hors d'oeuvres and carving stations, chicken dinner served family style,open bar, full orchestra, big fat wedding dress,all the cousins and friends as bridesmaids, ushers and groomsmen out the yin-yang,hokey-pokeys and chicken dances every hour on the hour, the whole nine yards. My dad says he's been waiting for ten years to walk me down the aisle. I really don't want them to go to all that expense; they need the money for retirement. I know that you and Danny had big, but I know that you didn't hit up parents for the money. You got any advice?"

"Well, Bonnie, a couple of days before the wedding, my brother handed me a check for $20,000. He said that one of the last things my dad did while he still had some cognizance left but knew what was happening to him was to set up a fund in case I ever got married. He said the one regret, the one source of anger about the Alzheimer's, was that he wouldn't be able to escort me down a church aisle. That's why I lethim walk with me. He wanted to do it for Dad and he doesn't have a daughter." CJ wiped away a tear. God claimed her father's body in early March, right before he was to have been transferred to the nursing home near Loyola Marymount that she and Danny had found. "I'm biased, but if I were you, I would let them do it for you. Later, if you want, you could take the money you might have spent, maybe replace their roof, something like that."

Sarita let CJ know that the board had approved the initial pilot project for "Road to a Better World". They would be able to begin work on the roads into the interior of Namibia by June. CJ wanted to do one road first, to get practical experience, before making any other plans. She had convinced the board of the logic of this decision when she was there in February and the group based in Chicago had made the recommendation in mid-March.

In addition to their family members, Josh, Donna, Nancy, Bonnie, and Sarita, Diana had invited the neighbors, Hank, Steve, Jessica (who with her 12 year-old daughter had moved in between the Concannons and Diana and Frank), and the other families. There were also some people from church. They played baby shower games. Erin won "What's That Stuff", correctly putting the right label with the right jar of all twelve varieties of baby food. Hank, Diana, and Danny weren't allowed to participate in "Toilet Tissue Tape", where everyone had to tear off a length of toilet tissue that they thought would best approximate CJ's circumference. Danny probably knew, and as professional garment folk, the other two had an edge. Actually, Father Luke from church won that game. Josh, of all people, won the nursery rhyme test and Fee knew the meanings of more names than anyone else.

They got a lot of loot, which was still sitting in the Munoz living room. Tomorrow, Danny and Josh would bring it over here.

"Hey, Danny," Donna said. "I've been trying to convince CJ to fly up to Palo Alto with me tomorrow for the day. After I meet with the committee, I'm having lunch with Ellie Faison and Zoey is there with her. She says she's thinking about it. Don't you think she should go?"

Danny started asking Donna questions. What airport was she using? San Jose. Who was meeting her plane? Zoey would pick her up and drop her off. When was she leaving LAX? 9:30 AM. When was she coming back? She'd be back at LAX at 5:30 in the evening. Were there seats available on the flights for CJ? There were.

Then, sounding very casual, Danny said, "Honey, if you want to go, maybe you should. Might do you some good to see the girls. I mean, Dr. Winkler says you can still fly for another week, right?"

She looked at him, smiled. "Okay, Donna, you've got a traveling companion. I'll get the seats confirmed. Then I think I'm going to bed. I'm exhausted. But the rest of you stay up, don't mind me." She walked toward the phone, stopping to kiss Danny on the way.

The others talked for a bit longer, catching up on gossip. Danny took them into the den-slash-guestroom, apologized for the queen-sized sleeper sofa. "By fall, the rest of the rooms should be finished and we'll have a grown-up guest suite, but for now, this is it. CJ wanted to offer you guys our bed, but she really needs the space and the mattress. There is a feather bed mattress on the sleeper's mattress, so it's pretty comfortable."

They told him it would be no problem and he left them, closing the door behind him.

"Well, that was strange," Donna commented.

"Huh?" Josh asked, stretching, undoing his shirt buttons.

"San Jose and Palo Alto, tomorrow. The trip."

"Yeah, it's not like CJ to have trouble making up her mind. Must be those pregnancy hormones. When we have a kid, you gonna get like that?"

Donna shook her head as she changed into her nightshirt. Her fiancé could be very dense at times. "Josh, CJ wasn't having trouble making up her mind. She was waiting for Danny to get back from the airport. She was waiting to ask him for **permission**." She stressed the last word.

"No way. CJ Cregg asking for permission?"

"It sounds weird, I know, but that's definitely what was going on." She turned out the light, got into bed.

Josh pulled her over to him. "You gonna ask my permission to do things after September?"

"In your dreams, Joshua. You'll be asking for **mine**." She kissed him, rolled him over, and Josh Lyman's mind turned to other things.

_Early the next morning_.

CJ stretched in the bed, reached over to kiss her husband awake.

"That's nice," he murmured, tucking his lower body and legs around her belly. "What's that for?"

"For being so, so -- understated, I guess -- last night."

He opened his eyes. "What's between us is between us; nobody else's concern. Ouch!" He rolled away from her, a hand to his groin.

"Danny?"

"One of **your** kids just kicked me!"

She laughed. "Really?"

"Yes, really. I mean, I'll live, but I'm not going to be of any use to you this morning."

"Shall I kiss it and make it better?" she joked.

"Let me have five minutes with a cool washcloth. Maybe tonight," he did a Groucho Marx imitation.

_Later that morning._

"Donna, if I navigate, would you mind driving to the airport? It's getting a bit uncomfortable for me." CJ held out the keys to her Mustang to the other woman.

Danny threw his keys to Donna. "Take my car. There's a funny sound coming from hers. Noticed it yesterday. This'll give me a chance to check it out."

Donna started the Camry as Danny helped CJ into the passenger seat. He kissed her, closed the open door. "Have fun." Looking into her eyes, he said, "Usual rules."

She touched his cheek. "I hear and obey, husband mine," she laughed.

As he reentered the house, Josh came out of the den, yawning and stretching. "The girls have left already?" he asked, pouring himself a cup of coffee and sitting down at the kitchen table. Danny refilled his cup and joined him.

"Hey, Danny?"

"Yeah?"

"What was all that stuff last night about this trip? I've asked fewer questions about the President's trip to the G-8 summit."

"I worry about her when she travels."

"She traveled all the time when she worked for President Bartlet."

"On government planes. With Secret Service agents. Now she goes commercial, unattended. You wouldn't think that wanting to build a road would be a controversial subject, but you never know. So we have certain ground rules about her traveling."

"She actually **submits** to your dictates?"

"Josh, I love her, I love the children she is carrying. I can't **imagine** life without her. She knows that and she loves me enough to do this one thing for me. Look at this house, what it's becoming. She saw these five rooms and saw what it could become. She told me 'Danny, this will work' and I signed where she told me to sign. I endorse royalty checks and advances and she handles all the money. It's not about power, it's not about macho ego, I mean, there's a certain gender differentiation that is primal, basic, but it's about caring, not about degrading or abusing or asserting. Most of all, it's about talking everything out. What works for CJ and me may not work for you and Donna. But without the talking, you guys won't have a chance."

"But, she waited to get your permission." Josh was still not believing what Danny told him.

"It's not like I'm keeping her barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen."

"Well, last night, she **did **take off her shoes when she was fixing dinner," the other man replied with a laugh.

"Point taken. Come on; help me figure out this noise in the Mustang."

As the plane cruised toward San Jose, Donna turned to CJ. "CJ, may I ask you a question?"

"Let's see. You are a smart, observant woman. You want to know why Danny acts like a nineteenth century Victorian husband about my traveling."

"Well, I was going to try to be more diplomatic, but, yeah, that's about it."

"He worries about it. He doesn't want me to be in any situation that I can't control or that authorities can't control. He worked it out with Frank Hollis, turns out Frank has the same fears about Sarita. Anyway, Danny has a lot of say in my traveling for the foundation and he has his own set of rules that read like a GAO budget addendum report."

"And it doesn't bother you to submit to all that?"

"I don't submit, I **defer**. I got that from Abbey. I asked her how to handle a man when he gets all protective all over you."

"What did she say?"

"Sometimes you kiss them, tell them that you love them, but that in this particular situation, you can take care of yourself. Once in a while, you tell them you can take care of yourself, but skip the kissing and telling them you love them part. And once in a while, you thank God that there is someone who wants to take care of things for you. The tricky part is knowing when to do what."

"Sounds like I should maybe talk with Abbey."

"We spent two whole days with Abbey and the President, talking about what marriage means. It helped us."

Zoey met them at the airport and took them to the Stanford campus. She visited with Zoey and Ellie, admired her little girl, and talked baby stuff until Donna was finished with the commencement committee. Then the four of them had lunch and talked some more.

As Zoey was driving them back to the San Jose airport, the rain and the fog came in. At the counter, they were told that the flight would be leaving at 6:30 rather than 4:30.

"Okay, Donna, you are about to witness the Daniel Michael Concannon Prime Directive in action."

She pulled out her cell, called home. "Hey, babe, rain and fog. The plane is here, just can't take off. We'll be landing about 7:30, American. At least that's what they're telling us now." Pause. "Okay. If anything changes, I'll let you know, but I don't think they have Air-Fone on these shuttle type flights. God willing, we'll be in American's baggage claim at 7:30." Pause. "Love you back."

"CJ, what are we doing in baggage claim? We don't have any luggage. You've got the presents from Ellie and Zoey in your hand."

CJ smiled, sighed, and explained Danny's thoughts on airport parking lots and darkness in relation to his wife. "It's not just me. Notice, he didn't let Erin and the girls rent a car. If you had come out here without Josh, he would have insisted on meeting you or arranging for a bonded limousine for you. Any woman entrusted to him, he would be this way. "

"In a way, it's sweet, but don't you feel hemmed in, managed?"

"I feel loved. Okay, what can we do to kill two hours? How about 'Guess Boxers or Briefs' for the next fifty guys that pass by?"

Danny hung up the phone and walked into the living room. Josh was engrossed in a Lakers-Celtics playoff game.

"Josh, the girls will be a couple hours late. It'll be dark when they come in. If you come with me to get them, we can do it without my having to park, it'll save some time."

"I thought you said Donna took your car?"

Danny explained his thoughts and fears about airport parking lots after dark.

"Boy, you've got it bad," Josh told him.

"Just wait until you guys aren't under the POTUS umbrella, you'll see."

His cell rang. "Sweetheart?" Pause. "Sure, just a sec." He walked toward the bedroom, closed the door. "Okay, I'm alone."

"Donna's in the restroom right now. Danny, she's a little freaked about all this. Listen, if you can get Josh to come with you, maybe we could split up, me ride back home with Josh, you ride with Donna, maybe explain everything from your side?"

"CJ, that sounds damned good. Josh is acting the same way. Maybe you can convince him that I don't have a stick the size of my thumb in the bedroom closet to keep you in line."

She laughed at the absurdity of the thought. God, he loved to hear her laugh. "She's coming back now. We should be boarding soon. By the way, how're things down in Gloccamora?"

It took him a second to figure out that she was referring to the little bit of disrespect shown him by one of his kids this morning.

"Better. But maybe tonight you can kiss it and make it better still." She could hear the impish gleam in his eyes. Then he continued, "Listen, how do you feel? I was thinking about taking Josh and Donna to Harry's," he mentioned the sports bar the neighbors frequented. "Show them how we simple folk live. Could you deal with something from there, stay for an hour or so?"

"Sounds like a plan. Love you."

"Love you back."

Danny was waiting in the American Airlines baggage claim when they reached it. He took Donna's briefcase, CJ's packages. "Come on, Josh is hovering outside." He opened his cell, called the other guy.

They walked outside the terminal and in a few minutes, Josh drove up. Danny adjusted the seat, moving it back, and helped CJ into Josh's rental. "Josh, you may have to help her with the seat belt". Then he kissed her and said, "We'll see you at the bar."

He took Donna's arm, helped her across the roadway. "And we are parked where?" She told him the lot quadrant and they headed that way. She handed him the keys and he opened the door, seated her, pressed the lock, and closed the door. Once he got in, he asked her for the parking ticket, refused the $30 she also handed him. "Danny, you have to take it. It's government business. I'll get into trouble if I don't pay for it, turn in a receipt." He reluctantly took the money, paid the fee, and gave her the receipt and change. Once he got them out of the airport, he turned to her and said, "So, what do you want to know from the resident male chauvinist pig?"

"Danny, I never said –"

"Take the middle lane here, and then get over to the left after the next light. In two blocks, take the left and then just follow Route 1 into Santa Monica. Once we get into town, I'll get you to the bar. So, I understand you think I'm turning into a Stepford wife?"

"CJ, I never said – "

They had supper at the bar. Hank and Steve joined them and then Father Luke. The men got involved in the Penguins-Canucks game. So did Wisconisin-bred, hockey fan Donna. CJ began to get sleepy and Danny told the others they were leaving. He gave Josh a key to the house. Hank and Steve offered to make sure they got there when the game was over.

Lying on the bed together, he asked her what she told Josh. "Counselor-patient privilege," she laughed. "What did you tell Donna?"

"I told her that she wasn't you and that Josh wasn't me and they needed to figure out how they were going to work out their lives together and not worry about you and me."

"Truly?"

"Truly. Now, what did you tell Josh?"

"Pretty much the same thing, except I added that I like being taken care of every once in a while. Oh, and that you cut down the beatings to once a month as soon as you found out I was pregnant." He threw a pillow at her.

"By the way," he said, "yesterday, Bonnie said to tell you 'thank you'. She said she had decided to take your advice about her father, whatever that means."

She told him about Bonnie's wedding dilemmas.

"What were you and Ash talking about yesterday, Danny? The two of you seemed to be really deep into it for a while."

"Well, my younger niece is thinking about Berkeley and she is also thinking about choosing US citizenship in three years when she turns eighteen. I was helping with pros and cons."

"Ash over here, huh? You know that Erin and Robin would expect us to be surrogate parents. You ready for a kid that old?"

"I'm training **you,** aren't I?" he smirked. She threw a pillow at him.

"Well, if we fail at our real jobs, we can always become family counselors." She said.

"Concannon Counseling, Incorporated. Sounds like a plan."

He pulled her down into his arms and the two amateur mental health professionals drifted off to sleep.


	26. Pistol

**Pistol**

CJ/Danny, others

PG for topic, one suggestive scene

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

After watching and rewatching the "teaser" from "The Ticket", taking into account the timeline of the universe in which I have chosen to write, and taking into account the human gestation period, I find that I do indeed have to inject some angst into "Holding Hands on the Way Down". I thought and thought about it and this is what resulted as the best, least painful, most hopeful way out of the situation. (Now I know how Sorkin felt about what he created in "He Shall, from Time to Time".)

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_Late May 2008 – UCLA Medical Center_

Something was going horribly, terribly wrong. Two male nurses forcibly pulled him from behind CJ and an anesthetist was trying to get a mask on his wife's face. She pushed it away and screamed his name. Looking at him with anguish and terror in her face, she shouted, "Baptize th-".

He pleaded to the labor room personnel in general. "The babies need to be baptized!"

A nurse in light blue scrubs came from behind him and took the two lifeless little bodies over to the sink; he could hear the words "I baptize thee" mumble "in the name of the Father, and of..." The words trailed off as he was pulled into the hallway.

The floor nurse came up to him. "She'll be fine, Mr. Concannon, it's really just precautionary. We are all so sorry about... Is there anyone we can contact? You shouldn't be here alone."

He reached to his side and remembered that he was in scrubs. "I need my cell," he told the woman. "The numbers are there." She went to the safe, unlocked it, and retrieved his phone and his wallet. He punched the "Find" key and started "M" "A" "R".

No sooner had he hung up with her than he heard his name again. He looked up to see a young man holding a bible with several bookmarks and a rosary. There was a crescent lapel pin on his left lapel. "I am Yusef Shalash, one of the chaplains. The Catholic chaplain is downtown with the Cardinal. They have sent for him. In the meantime, if you like, I will sit with you. I have Gene's bible and one of the rosaries he gives to people."

Up to a few minutes ago, it had all been so unbelievably wonderful. They had gone to her doctor's office together in September after the positive result from the home test and he confirmed the good news. Then came the first ultrasound. The technician was moving the sensor around and listening through a stethoscope when she stopped, asked the doctor to listen, and waited until he nodded his head. Then she turned up the sound and told them to listen and to watch. There were two heartbeats, two separate little pulses on the ultrasound screen. Later that evening, CJ had looked up to him and said something about him being totally insufferable now and he said something about since they had talked about having two kids, her usual efficient self decided to spit them out at the same time. They scanned the ultrasound and emailed it to everyone. They told the doctor that they didn't want to know sex or sexes, they didn't want to know identical or fraternal; there are so few pleasant surprises in life, they said. They would wait for this one. When they had the three-dimensional ultrasound done, the staff blurred the genital areas of the babies for them. She experienced the usual symptoms and conditions of pregnancy – the nausea, the fluctuating hormones, the second trimester increase in libido, the swelling. He remembered the last time they had made love before the doctor requested they stop. Lying behind her on the bed, letting her control everything, the only thing he moved were his fingers at her core. He had brought her a diamond-cut platinum snake chain to hold the rings that were too tight for her fingers, and it glistened in the setting sun. They were at home when the contractions started and they were at the hospital in plenty of time. He had called his family and hers; Erin was to have come over in two days to help. There were extra people in the delivery room because of her age and because there were two babies, but nothing ever suggested that there would not be a happy ending.

Yusef read some of the passages from the priest's bible and then told him of the time when he and his mother were watching one of the press conferences in President Bartlet's first term. "You and she were bantering back and forth, something about dotting "i"s and crossing "t"s and Mom said 'There is something there, those two will find joy together, _in shah Allah'_".

He heard footsteps and heard his name. He raised reddened eyes to see John Hoynes approaching him. "What in the name of all that is holy is he doing here?" he wondered. The former vice-president looked at the other man and, taking note of his pin, deferentially asked, "Imam, would you please excuse us for a few minutes?"

"Danny, Margaret knew that I was right here on campus today. I told her that I didn't think I would be helpful, but then she put Donna Moss soon-to-be Lyman on the phone. That woman, when I first met her, I thought she was, well, you know what I would have thought, but now there is something about her, you should take note of things, you may be writing a book about Donna someday – anyway, she would not hear anything but 'Yes, ma'am'. There is no way they could have known that if I'm not the last person you would want at a time like this, I'm among the last 20. But they are right, you need someone here. Ellie whatever-her-last-name-is-now is up at Stanford and will be coming down. They are trying to get CJ's niece off whatever aircraft carrier she's on off San Diego and chopper her up here. Abbey Bartlet is flying out as we speak. But for right now, I'm the best that those two could dredge up."

Danny motioned him to the seat beside him. "Thank you, Mr. Vice-". "Just John now, Danny," Hoynes interrupted. He began to make conversation. "I saw the wedding pictures and the videos that Sam took. The two of you looked so incredibly happy and joyful, it took my breath away. The two of you deserve so much, Danny."

One of the doctors came over and began to talk more about what had happened. He only heard parts of the words, something about the umbilical cord, but the former vice-president slipped into his expert mode. He asked the right leading questions, verifying that there was absolutely nothing wrong with CJ, it was just precautionary to make sure that the grief and the shock didn't cause any more stress to a body already stressed by labor and partial delivery, that the babies appeared to have been perfectly healthy, that there was no reason to not assume that they couldn't have another baby. Danny found himself thinking that if only Hoynes could have done something about that disconnect that periodically caused him to think with his ..". His cell rang; it was Donna. She, Sam, and Carol would be out later today. They would also bring Danny's Jesuit friend from Georgetown. Josh had to stay for some crucial G-8 prep. The Santos' sent their prayers.

"Mr. Concannon?" It was the nurse who had taken his sons and baptized them. "I'm Mariah". She turned to Hoynes, who had risen at her approach. "Mr.?" she asked.

The old charm came out automatically. "John Hoynes, ma'am" in his best Texas drawl. He put out his hand. "Damn glad to meet –".

She smiled at him and he suddenly turned red, stammered, "I'm sorry, that was—". She smiled again. "I think Mr. Concannon could use a sandwich, maybe the chicken salad, it's good today, and a carton of milk. The cafeteria is that way," she gestured. "Would you mind?"

Danny looked at the nurse. She had vague Semitic features, she reminded him of someone. "Are you related to the imam?" he asked.

"Well, if you go back to Adam and Eve, we're all related," she joked. "Actually, I am very distantly related to the Jewish chaplain.

"I wanted to let you know that the babies were properly baptized. Anyone can do it in an emergency, but you knew that. Anyway, even though the God I know wouldn't keep anyone out of heaven for something like that, I know it will give your wife and you comfort. I named them Cosmas and Damian."

He asked her why, of all the names, she had picked them.

"I don't know. I just sometimes get to thinking that all those saints who never have anyone named after them must get a little jealous sometimes. Maybe we should match them up with all these designer baby names. St. Polycarp is now St. Polycarp Dweezil," she giggled.

In spite of himself, he joined in. "And Perpetua is now Perpetua Brittany?"

"No," she said. "Let's give Brittany to St. Wilgefortis. After all, she's the patron saint of unhappily married women!"

He thanked her for her actions. He wasn't sure that anyone would know what he meant when he asked that the boys be baptized. They talked some more. He found out that her real name was Miriam but right now, she decided to be Mariah, like the wind, because she was a flighty girl until her early teens. She had a child. She reinforced what the doctors said, that there was no explanation, that even that smart-aleck kid of hers who had all the answers wouldn't be able to explain why. She made some comment about Hoynes as she saw him coming back with the food. Just before she left, she painted a picture of the two little boys crossing into heaven; she looked at him and said, "I'm sure that in the next year, year and a half, you and your wife will have a healthy beautiful baby, another one in a few more years, and who knows after that?" Then she left.

He took the food from Hoynes and reflected again on her words about his boys. "And I'm sure that God will bend the rules and instead of making that black lab wait for you, your sons will be crossing Rainbow Bridge into heaven with Pis- - - tol."

A chill ran up his spine. How did this woman, who appeared out of nowhere to baptize his sons, know about the dog that had been his constant friend and companion, who had shared his bed from age 4 until that horrible day 12 years later when he lay on the floor, his head in Danny's lap, and breathed his last with Danny's tears rolling uncontrollably down his face and onto the dog's coat? He looked down the hallway. She seemed to have disappeared into thin air.

The things she said began to repeat themselves in his head.

She was going to match up forgotten saints with new names so they would have people for whom to intercede.

When she asked the "Why" questions, her know-it-all son would just smile at her with his infinitely loving eyes.

The God she knew would never keep a little baby out of heaven.

She was distantly related to the rabbi and looked vaguely middle-eastern.

When the former vice-president was approaching them, she said it was such a shame that his insecurity in his masculinity sometimes caused him to confuse it with his maleness and that was something that he, Danny, would never do.

She was a flighty kid until something happened at 14 to change her life.

She was wearing light blue scrubs.

She was born Miriam but now she used another form of the name.

"Danny, you're shaking all over, what happened?"

"Nothing, just adrenaline, I guess". He took the food with thanks. The chicken salad was good.

They came and took him to her room and he sat there, holding her hand, waiting for her to recover from the mild anesthesia.

Hogan arrived, still in her flight suit, hugged him. She said that the former vice-president was at the door to the room. At the door, he saw Ellie running down the hall. Hoynes said he would leave now that Danny had others there for him, but Danny asked him to stay, unless he had something he needed to do. Then he asked the man if he could get something for him and reached into his wallet. The former vice-president said he didn't need any money and he would gladly run the errand.

In a little while, CJ came to, saw his face, and they both cried in each other's arms. He told her that he had something to tell her, something that he would share with Tim when he came but with no one else. He told her about Mariah, nee Miriam, who baptized their babies and reassigned saints and had an all-knowing son and knew about his childhood pet and who told him that there would be another baby soon and at least one more after that. She told him that she believed every word he said and then she drifted off to sleep again.

He stepped outside for a minute and asked Hogan to sit with her in case she woke before he returned. Hoynes had returned and gave him the package. Abbey called from the plane, as did Donna. They asked some questions.

He returned to the room and she woke again. The Catholic chaplain returned, profusely apologetic, and talked with them. They decided to celebrate a Resurrection Mass later in the evening after the others arrived.

That evening, in the back of the little hospital chapel, tears running down their faces, CJ and Danny made clay impressions of their sons' hands and feet, clipped locks of hair and tiny pieces of fingernails to put into a small silk-lined box, washed their bodies, dressed them in the baptismal gowns that Abbey had ordered via the web on the plane from a shop in Beverly Hills and had hand-delivered to the hospital, held them, kissed them, told them that they would always be loved, and laid them on their sides, facing each other in the little casket. Danny put the plushy, velvety soft toy black lab puppy he had asked the former vice-president to buy at the nearest toy store between the two little boys. Then, Hogan came in and wheeled her aunt to the main part of the chapel. Sam helped Danny wheel the little white casket in front of the altar and Tim said Mass.

Back in her room, he told her that Abbey and Donna volunteered to dismantle the nursery before she came home tomorrow if he thought it would be a good idea. He told them that the two of them always talked before making most decisions and he was not going to make this one on his own. She said something to the effect that they would only need one set for the next baby, so if the ladies wanted to take one of everything out, maybe they could donate the things to one of those "Choose Life" organizations that put their time, talent and treasure where their tenets were and provided help to women who might need it. He asked if she were sure; they made twins once, who knows what might happen again.

"But, Danny," she said. "Your Mariah said 'baby' in twelve to eighteen months, not 'babies', and then another 'one' after that. It's only after those two that she said 'Who knows' ".

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As I mentioned at the beginning, I have been watching the teaser for "The Ticket" and the gestures, the glances, the smiles, all have convinced me that when Jed asks for a picture of "the baby", he is talking about an infant and that CJ and Danny are brand-new parents as opposed to second-timers.

Given the timeline that I have chosen, with CJ and Danny marrying in May 2007 and the Bartlet Library dedication being in July/August 2009, and human biology, there needs to be some angst to account for a year or so of time. I think the one I chose brings pain to CJ and Danny for a shorter period of time than one in which it takes them over a year to conceive. My apologies to Cosmas and Damian for killing them off. When you are playing with Pistol, would you also play with Robin, Algernon, Bo, and Destiny, and give hugs for me?

I am not the first person to write about appearances of angels and saints, but I'm sure I won't be the last. My apologies to anyone who thinks I may have kidnapped their muse. Anyway, didn't someone say that there are only seven basic plotlines in all of literature and that everything is based on one or more of them?

**They Call the Wind Mariah** – lyrics by Alan Jay Lerner

"Away out here they have a name for rain and wind and fire.  
The rain is Tess, the fire's Jo and they call the wind Mariah."

**Rainbow Bridge** – author unknown

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together...


	27. At One with the Primordial Sea

**At One with the Primordial Sea**

CJ/Danny

NC-17? Heck, I don't know. If your folks let you read LaVyrle Spencer's stuff, you can read this.

Spoilers: Through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

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Late August 2008

She sighed, she exhaled, she whispered, "Danny! Oh, Danny!" Over and over and over and over again. "Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny! I love you, Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny! I've missed this, Danny!"

She lay there, prone on the bed, arms extended as if in a dead man's float, a pillow under her hipbones to give him easier access to her. He covered her, his hands grasping hers, his lips kissing her neck as he moved slowly, gently, but constantly within her.

Her doctor had been very straightforward with him right after the loss of the twins. Scott Winkler was a classmate of Abbey and Millie's at Harvard Med, but he had done his undergrad work at Notre Dame. He was probably one of the few gay obstetricians in the country. "I love babies, that's all there is to it," he explained.

He went into explicit detail with Danny. "Internally, her uterus, her fallopian tubes, her ovaries, she's perfectly healthy, everything is working as it should. Vaginally, she's more beat up than we usually see." He did some rough drawing. "She was torn, bruised, here, here, here, and here. The episiotomy was not as neat as I would have liked. It may take longer than six weeks for her to recover enough for full sexual activity, but once she does, there should be no problem for her or for the baby when" the doctor looked up, smiled, and stressed the **when** "she gets pregnant again. Your job is to not penetrate her, with **any** body part" he looked directly at Danny "until I give the okay. No matter how much you want it and especially no matter how much **she** wants it."

Scott also told him that as far a CJ's body was concerned, she had given birth. Her body did not know that their precious children had died in a tragic act of fate. They had given her something to stop the lactation process, but she would still be subject to all the postpartum stuff, the hormones, the moods, etc. They would need to watch for that. Combined with the natural grief that came from losing children, she might need counseling. He also had to be careful; he needed someone to look out for him emotionally as well.

Talking with CJ later, Danny found out that the doctor had given the same speech to her. He found that it worked better, sunk in better, to give it separately to husband and wife.

They grieved some, but somehow they believed that Mariah was indeed what she seemed to be, and there was a kind of peace in their lives as far as the boys were concerned.

CJ started to "want" about three weeks later, and they spent the next three weeks becoming teenagers again. It was difficult, but they stayed "outside" as instructed.

He accompanied her for her six-week check. When Scott told them "two more weeks", they looked at each other and sighed. On the way home, he tried to put things in perspective. "Seven years was 364 weeks. We survived **that**. This is less than one percent of that."

"Actually, you survived that. I was blissfully ignorant of what I was missing," she joked.

"Were you really?" he turned to her.

"No," she replied softly, "at one level, I knew."

A week later, she walked into the den/guestroom and saw that he had been X-ing off days on a calendar. She went ballistic. "You're the one with all the Celtic genes. You don't tempt fate this way!"

A week after that, Scott told them, "Come back next week." They groaned and CJ said, "I told you so!"

The next week, in early August, the doctor turned to Danny. "**You**", he pointed, "make a reservation at a nice restaurant. **You**", he pointed at CJ, "go buy something at Victoria's Secret." He smiled at them. CJ practically pulled Danny out of the doctor's office with both hands.

That evening, Danny couldn't let himself go. "I'm so afraid of hurting you," he said. He made her keep her eyes open as he entered her, watching for any sign of pain. He brought her to climax twice, then released within her as gently as possible. He wouldn't enter her a second time that night, but used his hands and his mouth to give her satisfaction again.

The second night was a duplicate of the first. On the third night, he lost control, and pounded into her when he ejaculated. She tried to stifle her sob, but he heard it and tried to withdraw. She held him in place and they fell asleep joined together, separated sometime during the night.

He was terrified the next morning to see the slight blood stain on the sheets. He made her call Scott first thing, put the phone on speaker. The doctor asked some questions, told them it was probably nothing ("maybe like bumping a scab") and told Danny that while CJ was not made of cast iron, neither was she made of spun sugar.

But for the next week or two, that's how Danny treated her. They were used to a varied sex life, but Danny refused to take her any way except face to face, saying he needed to see her eyes when he was inside her. He wanted to be on top, to control depth. He was driving her crazy.

Until tonight. They made love once, standard missionary position. About an hour later, she turned onto her stomach, and whispered, "Danny, please!"

He looked into her face. Are you sure? Because I'm not.

Trust me. It will be fine.

He came up over her. She separated her legs, he lowered himself between them. He reached for a pillow, helped her position it properly.

She had experienced a normal, somewhat active sex life during her years at Berkeley and before she joined the Bartlet White House. She had made love on hands and knees, kneeling over edges of beds, ottomans, once over the back seat of her Mustang convertible, once over a picnic cooler, and even once over a rock in the tidal wash of the ocean. She had been bent over a table, the back of a sofa, a fence rail, a kitchen sink, and a professor's lectern. One night, in the last few days of the administration, when she knew that Kate and Will had "plans", she and Danny snuck into what was once her office with a sheet and did it on what was once her desk. Then they went into the Press Room and she knelt in front of what was once his seat. Punch drunk, they resisted the urge to have her bend over one of the love seats in the Oval Office.

When the men were good lovers and good persons, she felt a kinship with horses, she felt like a mare with a stallion. And the two times that the men were rough, called her a bitch, and the one time that someone hit her, she ruthlessly wrote the men out of her life, refusing phone calls, telling the florists to take back the roses.

But for some reason, no one before Danny had ever covered her completely with his body, sheltering her in a cocoon created out of mattress and masculinity. The feelings that overtook her in this position were varied. She felt vulnerable exposing her back to him, but she felt an abiding sense of trust that he would protect her, keep her from harm. She felt cherished.

In this position, she felt a kinship not with other animals but with sea creatures, joined together and floating together in the primordial sea from which higher forms of life evolved. After the first time, she told Danny about this feeling, and he said, "Crabs", explaining that a female crab must be in a molting stage in order to be impregnated. Without a shell, she is basically protoplasm, vulnerable to even more than the usual dangers of the sea. The male crab holds her under his body, his pincers surrounding her, needing to be careful that his body does not harm hers as they float for days, in coital embrace, until she is fertilized and ready to grow a new protective shell.

It is the sexual position from which she receives the most emotional, if not necessarily physical, satisfaction. She definitely requires the assistance of Danny's fingers, and she rarely climaxes at the same time as he does. She does not see fireworks not does she hear the 1812 Overture, but she feels satisfied, valued and secure in her husband's love. It is a position of commitment, a position of procreation, a position of sacramental matrimony.

It is something she has not experienced for over six months, when her growing belly made it impossible for her to lie flat. They went to a motel and tried using a waterbed, but found that they needed the firmness, the resistance, of a regular mattress.

And so, she grasped Danny's hands and let him know of her satisfaction as he continued his motion within her. In a few minutes, she would let go of his right hand, moving hers over to join their left hands. He would use that right hand to bring her to climax, maybe twice, and then would seek his own satisfaction, sometimes raising up on both his arms in the effort, but always returning to cover her back, to kiss the side of her neck, to grasp her hands in his. Then they would float in the primordial sea of their love, until sleep or the needs of the outside world overtook them.

This evening, as she drifted into sleep, she felt calm, secure, cherished, and loved. She also felt that Danny had turned the corner on whatever was keeping him from trusting her to know her own body.

Danny woke up from his dozing, separated himself from his sleeping wife, rolled on his side, and pulled her back against him. She wriggled her backside into his lap, pulled his arm over her stomach, and went back to sleep.

He knew that there would still be times when his need to protect her would conflict with his desire to watch her soar into life, but tonight he felt they were ready to start again, he felt ready to accept the tensile strength of her body and her mind. They had learned, tragically, that life was not always fair, but they had trust and hope that there was still much to be anticipated in their life together.

As he stroked her stomach, he felt a strange sensation, almost a jolt of electricity, almost an atomic fusion. His Celtic DNA saw egg penetrated by sperm, saw one cell become two, two become four, four become eight, and eight become sixteen. Incredible warmth came over him. He spread his hand flat on her stomach and softly whispered, "Hi there. I'm your dad."

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Some people have questioned whether or not CJ and Danny would have sex in the White House.

IMHO,  
Were they embarassed and maybe slightly ashamed afterward? **Youuubetcha!**  
Did they tell anyone else? **Absolutely not _(except maybe in the confessional :-) )_**  
But, given the stress of Leo's death and a combination of "double dog dare" and "it seemed like a good idea at the time", I could see it happening. I wasn't going to write about it in detail, but I felt the need to mention it. As I said, "It seemed like a good idea at the time"


	28. The Roses of September

**The Roses of September**

CJ/Danny, many others

PG-rated for suggestions of adult fun

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

You can learn more about Tassajara at "www" dot "sfzc" dot "org" slash "tassajara" slash (I can't figure out how to get URLs to work in this format)

"The Wedding Song(There is Love)" by Noel Paul Stookey (yes, the Paul of Peter, Paul, and Mary) You can learn more about the fascinating story of this song and hear it sung at " www" dot "pdfoundation" dot "org" slash "about" dot "cfm"

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1:45 PM September 27, 2008 The Rose Garden, White House, Washington, DC

Danny Concannon smiled, took the seating card from Evelyn Baker Lang, and offered her his right arm. "Good afternoon, Madame Chief Justice". He nodded at her escort. "Mr. Justice Mulready." He glanced at the card, led them to the proper row. "It's the two on the aisle," he told them. He then walked back up the aisle and got at the back of the usher line on the left side. The Chief Justice with one of the Associate Justices; more grist for the unending rumor mill.

Counting his own, this was only the third wedding he'd been part of for the last ten years. (Of course, for the first five or six years after Notre Dame, he'd been in at least a dozen). And this was definitely the most formal, most high profile wedding of them all.

Because of the seating cards, the planners had told Josh that he needed to have at least fifteen men seating the guests. Donna had seven bridesmaids, so in addition to Danny and the other six groomsmen, there were eight men who simply had to "ush", as Toby put it.

If this is what he would have had to go through had he and CJ married while she was Chief of Staff or Press Secretary, maybe it was a good thing they did wait until Jed Bartlet was out of office. Of course, their actual ceremony would have been in the cathedral or the basilica and not in the Rose Garden, but the pomp and circumstance would have been the same. And if he had had to come up with fifteen guys, he would have been calling guys from his grade school Cub Scout den to scrape up the requisite number.

He wasn't the stereotypical "just get it over with" kind of guy. He enjoyed dressing up, he enjoyed the wedding ceremony he and CJ planned some fifteen months ago.But this wedding made the royal weddings look simple.

This wasn't just Josh and Donna's wedding. It was Josh's mother's dream wedding; it was Donna's parents' dream wedding. Apparently, it was also Helen Santos' dream wedding. ("There's no way that our kids will be old enough for a White House wedding even if Matt gets reelected in 2010, so this is probably my only chance to do one of these").

Okay, his turn again. Her Majesty's ambassador to the United States with his assistant _du jour_. Offer the arm to the lady, fend off question about his "enchantingly buxom wife". Back in line.

So far, there had only been one problem and Rina, Sam's assistant, was right there with the master list to find the seats assigned to the Secretary of Agriculture who left his card in the envelope. And so far, no one had appeared with little ones in tow, saying, "I just assumed my children were invited even though the invitation was addressed only to me and my wife."

Okay, head of the line again. It's Donna's aunt and uncle, whom he met at the rehearsal dinner last night. Let's see, the three rows reserved for her family were "first come, first served".

As he walked back, he noticed that his top vest button had come undone and made the adjustment. Josh would have preferred simple black tuxes, basing the jacket style on the one most commonly owned by himself, Sam, and the fifteen other guys, but Josh's mom wanted the "morning" attire that the etiquette gurus said were required for formal weddings in the afternoon, so here they were in gray coats, striped pants, the vest, the ascot, the whole nine yards. At least, they didn't have hats, spats, and gloves; neither were they expected to match the bridesmaid colors.

He looked at those roses. He hadn't paid too much attention to roses before this summer, but now he was aware of some varieties and could see why some people were so passionate about them.

Earlier this summer, about four weeks after they had lost the boys, CJ received a phone call from her old classmate from Berkeley, the one who was a Zen Buddhist monk. He asked them to come up to Tassajara for a few days and since CJ wanted to go, they drove up and spent four of the most relaxing days they had had since their honeymoon in Scotland. The sun shone brightly in the valley in the middle of the mountains of the Ventana wilderness. They relaxed in the mineral waters; they used the steam rooms built over the natural hot springs; they cooled off in the stream that ran through the retreat center. While walking through the flower gardens with Roshi Albert, the chief gardener, CJ decided on the flowers for their enclosed courtyard at home; she wanted roses of every color. One night, they sat outside, much as they had in San Diego, only up here, there were no lights to dim the brilliance of the starts in the sky. They heard the dongs calling the monks to prayer an hour before sunrise. They talked of and to their sons, of their frustrated dreams for them, of their hopes of seeing them in heaven some day. They talked about their trip to the northern coast earlier in the year and decided to see if they could find a small place up there, nothing fancy, ("two rooms, as long as one is a bathroom and there's indoor plumbing, would be enough") as a getaway. They ate the vegetarian casseroles and bought a dozen loaves of bread for themselves and their neighbors.

Okay, a couple more trips down the aisle. Good. Rina and Cathy made sure to separate Arnold Vinnick and John Hoynes.

At the beginning of the month, he had to go back to New York for two days and wanted her to come with him, but the landscaper was due at that time and if they cancelled the appointment, he wouldn't be able to get back with them until December. So she stayed behind to oversee the work.

When he returned, she pulled him into the courtyard with both hands. "You've got to see it!" she exclaimed.

It was amazing. When they bought the house, she said that it had potential, but what she saw and what the architect, the builder, and the landscaper had achieved went beyond anything he could have imagined. If you stood at the northern end of the original house and faced south, you saw a squared-off "C", set back about fifty feet from the street. The open side of the "C" faced the ocean, which was just down the hillside and across the beach road. You could hear the gulls, the waves and smell the salty, fishy air. The bottom "bar" of the "C" had two small bedrooms and a bathroom. The top "bar" held the kitchen and a small dining room. The vertical side that ran parallel to the street was one large living room with a fireplace. The side that faced the ocean was all sliding glass doors. They opened onto a terrace between the bedroom wing and the kitchen wing . It had a small swimming pool and wasenclosed with an eight-foot wrought-iron fence and a gate that did not obstruct the view of the ocean but kept intruders out.

As CJ had planned it, another squared-off "C" was attached to the original one, leaving about 15 feet of space between the street and the expanded house. The top and bottom bars had been widened by about five feet each. The original bedroom wing was now their bedroom, bath, walk-in closet and a nursery that opened both into their bedroom and to the hallway between the old bar and the new. In the wall of their bedroom that faced the ocean, there was a wood burning fireplace between two windows; there was a sliding door to the terrace. The addition to the bottom bar housed two bedrooms with a Jack-and-Jill bath between them. On the upper bar, the kitchen had been modernized, and a half-bath and laundry room had been added, but except for widening, the dining room was left the same. The addition to that bar helda smallformal living room and a den (each with a gas log fireplace) with a hallway between them. The front door of the house was now off this hallway on the side of the house, like the old houses in Charleston, SC. The new vertical piece held a guest room with a private bath, a small storage room, and a two-car garage.

The old living room was now the family room and the old outer wall was replaced with wide insulated glass sliding doors. You could stand by the inner garage wall, look across the enclosed courtyard through the family room, over the gated terrace, and see the ocean sunsets. An inner hallway ran around the new addition and the inner walls were all reinforced, insulated glass.

The living room, den, and other bedrooms still had work to be done. They needed paint and/or papering, area rugs, something nicer than the serviceable drapes they had picked up at Target, bookcases built into the den, things like that. They made do with their old furniture from Washington but neither of the bedrooms had any furniture; CJ's old stuff was in the guest room. But the structure was done and the rest would come long.

The enclosed courtyard was a miracle; it was the soul of the house. There was a small fountain in the center of it. In the corner near the living room and the garage wall was a sunken hot tub. A wrought iron table and chair set was placed near the family room/dining room corner. There were comfortable chairs in the other areas, a fire pit in one of them. Electric lighting and permanent tiki torches were strategically placed. There was a small little section off to one side with a statue of St. Francis of Assisi and a birdbath. Some Chinese stone lanterns were also to be seen. And everywhere, there were roses and other flowering shrubs, flowers in planter boxes. Butterflies and a few birds flew in and out. It looked like something out of southern Spain, the Riviera, something out of the Greek islands.

"CJ, this is wonderful, you are an absolute genius," he kissed her nose. "I don't ever want to leave this place."

"Well, we have to," she returned the favor to his nose. "We're flying to Ireland on the 17th to see Erin and Robin and the girls for a few days, then we go to England for my meeting with the Prince of Wales, and then we go to DC on the 25th for Josh and Donna's wedding. And aren't we going to South Bend in late October and up to Berkeley for **The Game**?" She was right. The latter half of September would not find them at home.

During their visit with the MacDonald's, Danny caught his younger niece Aisling giving him and CJ strange looks a couple of times. Finally, his curiosity got the better of him and on the day before they were to leave for England, he pulled her aside. "Hey, Ash, what's going on? Is something bothering you? If so, let's get it out in the open."

The girl look at him, stared into his eyes. Then her face broke out in a gentle smile. She reached up to kiss him on the cheek and said, "It's all going to be fine, Uncle Danny. Trust in that, trust in the lady." Then she skipped away to play with the family's Irish wolfhound.

The visit with the Prince of Wales at his Highgrove estate proved very beneficial to "Road to a Better World." He wanted to make a substantial contribution from his enormous charitable trust.

Afterwards, they walked in the Prince's rose gardens, the last blooms of the year in full lushness on this September 23rd. he was very proud of them, having restored them himself when he first moved into the estate. CJ was walking with the Duchess. There seemed to be an inner connect between them; perhaps they realized that they were in similar circumstance, both of them realizing true love relatively late in life. Danny and the Prince were walking behind them. The Prince mentioned that he was thinking about penning another memoir/autobiography. He had come to a new peace in his life as he was entering his seventh decade; he knew that he would have few years as king, had accepted that the good he was doing now would be his most important legacy and that was why he was so interested in CJ's project. ("The role of British monarch is something like that of your First Ladies".) Of course, preparing his sons, trying to help the young men avoid the mistakes he had made while at the same time realizing that the lads did have to find their own way, was more important than anything else. In any event, would Danny be interested in co-authoring the book?

As they were leaving, the Prince asked them if they could return for a few hours tomorrow morning. He knew that they weren't leaving for Washington until the 25th. When CJ and Danny said they would be happy to, the man seemed really glad. Then he added, almost as an afterthought, "My mother will be here and she would really like to meet you."

He assured them that it would be a very casual, very low-key situation. Still, there he was, Danny Concannon, son of two Irish immigrants from Galway, one of whom was illegal until the day of her death, meeting the Queen of England. He thought about his great-uncle, who died in the Easter Uprising of 1916, the four times great-grandfather who was hanged in Wexford, and the stories about the priest relative who risked his life to teach in the hedge schools, and wondered what they would think. "It's a different time," he told their ghosts. "I'm dealing with people who happen to live in the nation, not the nation's past behavior."

The Queen was gracious and friendly; she also offered to help fund "Road to a Better World".

So they arrived in Washington on Thursday, just in time for the bachelor and bachelorette parties hosted by Matt and Helen Santos.

Josh and Donna had rented Blair House for the wedding and CJ and Danny felt honored that they were given one of the bedrooms. Donna would spend the night before the wedding in the residence and she and her attendants would dress and primp there; Josh and his guys would get ready in Blair House. It was also the site of the bachelorette party; the President had claimed the White House for Josh's party.

A little before 1:00 AM Friday morning, Danny rang the bell at the door to Blair House. As he was let in, he heard music and laughter coming from behind the closed doors of the front and rear drawing rooms. "I guess the women are going to outlast the men," he said to the steward at the door.

"I'm thinking you're right, Mr. Concannon," the man agreed.

Danny opened the door to their room and turned on the overhead light, only to be greeted by the sound of his wife's groan. He turned on the bedside lamp and turned off the overhead.

"So are you too old to keep up with the others, or was it too boring for a world-traveling sophisticate such as yourself?" He sat down next to her, rumpled her hair.

"Jet lag, time confusion," she answered, "plus, the UPS delivery man as stripper idea gets old pretty fast. I gave my dollar bills to Donna's mom; she was having a really good time."

"Anything else fun?"

"Yeah. Mrs. Santos did an 'Adult Pleasures' home shopping party and gave us each $50.00 to spend."

"So what did you buy for yourself and, more importantly, what did you buy for me?"

"It's all for you. Six pair of edible panties in assorted flavors," she yawned, "and a bottle of sandalwood massage oil. What decadent things did you guys do?"

"Beer, barbecue, steamed crab, the ESPN Thursday night football game in the White House theater, followed by highlights of the last five Superbowls. Better than pornos, as far as I'm concerned."

Time change and jet lag caught up with him too, and he stripped down to his boxers and crawled into bed, pulled CJ's back against him, and went to sleep.

Okay, 2:25 PM. Almost time.

Rina signals Toby, who escorts Mrs. Lyman, followed by President Santos, to the first row on the groom's side.

Next is Danny's turn. Donna asked him to be the one to seat her mom and dad.

Annabeth stepped to the altar and sang the prelude:

_"He is now to be among you  
at the calling of your hearts  
Rest assured this troubadour  
is acting on His part.  
The union of your spirits, here,  
has caused Him to remain  
for whenever two or more of you  
are gathered in His name  
there is Love, there is Love._

Well, a man shall leave his mother  
and a woman leave her home  
and they shall travel on to where  
the two shall be as one.  
As it was in the beginning  
is now and til the end  
Woman draws her life from man  
and gives it back again.  
And there is Love, there is Love.

Well then what's to be the reason  
for becoming man and wife?  
Is it love that brings you here  
or love that brings you life?  
And if loving is the answer,  
then who's the giving for?  
Do you believe in something  
that you've never seen before?  
Oh there is Love, there is Love.

Oh the marriage of your spirits here  
has caused Him to remain  
for whenever two or more of you  
are gathered in His name  
there is Love, there is Love. 

_He is now to be among you  
at the calling of your hearts  
Rest assured this troubadour  
is acting on His part.  
The union of your spirits, here,  
has caused Him to remain  
for whenever two or more of you  
are gathered in His name  
there is Love, there is Love."_

Later, she would sing the Schubert "Ave Maria" for Josh.

Okay, showtime.

Josh, Sam, and President Bartlet walked onto the raised dais.

One of the big surprises of the summer was receiving the invitation of the former president's ordination to the permanent diaconate. He had started studies the last year in the White House under deep cover; only Abbey and Leo knew. They couldn't make it to new Hampshire for the ceremony, but CJ was very happy for the man. ("He'll be able to preach; he'll be in seenth heaven.") When Josh and Donna found out that he was licensed to perform marriages, they spoke with the judge they had previously asked to officiate at their ceremony, explaining the situation and asked Jed if he could do a non-denominational service for them. They would get the President to pull the strings to get the former president licensed in the District.

As the string quartet played Handel's _"Water Music"_, the eight ushers processed down the aisle and took their places. Then the seven groomsmen followed.

The music switched to the Rondeau from _"Sinfonies de Fanfares", _or, as most people knew it, the theme from _"Masterpiece Theatre"_ . It was time for the bridesmaids.

The women were dressed in ever-darkening shades of pink, an echo of the roses in the garden.

"It's a prom dress!" CJ exclaimed back in July as she unpacked the box Donna had sent her. "Josh picked out prom dresses for us!" For some reason, Josh had a certain idea about what he wanted Donna's attendants to wear and she agreed to let him pick the gowns. The dress was strapless, form-fitting down to the waist, with a handkerchief hem floor-length skirt. There was a matching broad floppy-brimmed hat and a model number and a dye number for the matching satin pumps CJ would need to buy. A silver engraved locket on a matching ribbon completed the outfit of Josh's dreams.

"It's not that bad," Hank opined. "At least there's no hoop skirt and the material is chiffon and crepe, no scratchy stuff."

"But I'll need to wear a merry widow, unless you can retrofit it with a bra and boning. I hate those things. Oh, well, maybe I can donate it to one of those groups that give prom gowns to girls that can't afford them."

"CJ," Hank replied, "Get the long-line, and when we fit the dress for it, we won't cut out the extra fabric. Afterward, we'll loosen it so you could wear it with a normal strapless or tube bra, or no bra at all, for that matter. If I were Danny," the man glanced at Danny, "I'd kind of like to see you wearing this with absolutely nothing under it." Danny raised his beer to the other man. Hank's interests might lie elsewhere, but he knew what a healthy heterosexual male wanted on his lady. Maybe that was why he was such a successful designer.

The women were carrying bouquets that contained roses in all the shades of pink represented in their individual dresses.

Friday afternoon, he sat fascinated as the women discussed their dresses, the names for the various shades of pink. Who knows when he might need to know this stuff?

Nancy was first, in a light shade of pink called "Alyssum" that set off her blonde coloring quite well. He hoped that Nancy didn't get caught in the "dutiful daughter taking care of elderly parents" syndrome. Frank Munoz had a good-looking nephew; maybe he could do a little matchmaking. As Nancy reached the front row of chairs, Toby stepped to her side and escorted her to the far end of the groom's side.

Carol was second. Her ensemble was "Impatiens Petal", a slightly darker shade of light pink. (Donna said that although Josh picked the style, she decided on the colors by looking at paint sample chips). Carol was one of his eyes and ears over the years while he was waiting for CJ and he loved her almost as much as he did Erin. The guy from the State Department seemed to be the real deal, and he wouldn't be surprised if they weren't back East for another wedding soon. She was escorted to her place on the bride's side by Ed.

Ginger came down next what the ladies called "Azalea Flower". Two months pregnant, she glowed as she caught sight of her congressman spouse. She was met by Matt Skinner, the man who had introduced her to her husband, and they went to stand next to Toby and Nancy.

Bonnie's pink was almost a peachy shade. Her wedding was planned for next summer and she proudly introduced Jean-Luc to the group last night at the rehearsal dinner and party. The French professor was totally charming to all the ladies and scored major points with Toby when he told Bonnie's former boss that he would always cherish her. She and Larry went to stand by Carol and Ed.

Ed and Larry were no longer working together, but they still acted as one when in each other's company.

Zoey was number five in line, wearing a deeper coral. ("Zany pink," she joked. "It suits me.") She and Charlie seemed to be in a better place in their relationship than they were at his and CJ's wedding; the smiles they exchanged as they moved next to Ginger and Matt lit up their faces and he was reminded of the first year the two of them were together.

Number six was Margaret. He couldn't see much difference between Margaret's dress color and CJ's, but the ladies assured him that while CJ's dress was something called "Hibiscus", Margaret's was called "Grenadine". Last night at the rehearsal dinner and party, he and CJ were sitting with President Bartlet and CJ wondered why Margaret did not have an escort for the party and the wedding.

"You don't know?" Jed exclaimed. "Margaret had to come alone because she is being pursued by two very powerful men and the President told her she couldn't cause any controversy by choosing one of them as her escort for this weekend! She would have brought Bruno, but he's still _verboten_."

"Who? Who?" He thought CJ was going to explode if the man didn't satisfy her curiosity in the next second.

"Well, one of them is the Secretary of State."

"Arnold Vinnick pursuing our Margaret?" Danny asked. "He might be the one bachelor left in Washington worthy of her."

"Who else?" CJ was pulling on the former president's hands.

"Guess," the other man teased her.

"Berryhill?"

"No."

"John Marbury?"

"John is very happy with his latest assistant."

Danny had an epiphany. "It's not –" he looked at Jed.

"It sure is."

"Who? You're driving me crazy over here."

Danny looked at CJ. "Who takes a licking and keeps on ticking?"

Her mouth fell open. "Oh. My. God. John Hoynes."

"Give the lady a cigar, except she doesn't smoke."

"Margaret could be the cause of the first duel this government has seen since Burr and Hamilton," the former President laughed.

"Leo would have had a cow," CJ said.

"Actually, I think he might have been just a little proud." Abbey joined them. "Arnie looks happier than he has since his wife died and if anyone could whip John into line, it would be Margaret."

Will met Margaret and they went to their place on the bride's side.

Now it was his Jeanie's turn down the aisle. He didn't think the dress was all that bad. He was glad of her height, though, since it meant she was at the end of the bridesmaid line. He wouldn't have liked her in the lighter shades of pink. Hank was right, the idea of CJ sitting cross-legged on their bed in that dress and nothing else except her smile was – better not think of that, the cutaway jacket didn't provide much coverage. He liked the hat, too.

Last night, he overheard her talking with Abbey. "I'm not sure but I think I might be. I didn't have a period until mid-July, but then I had another one in mid-August, so I guess I'm about twelve days late. I've been afraid to say anything, but I'll call Scott for an appointment when we get back on Monday. I don't know if Danny's aware of it, like I said, I'm so afraid to tempt fate by mentioning it."

My darling, he thought, I am very much aware of your body and its cycles. I've also been afraid to ask, to say anything, but I did have that feeling last month, and apparently, my younger niece has the same fey genes that Erin and I have. But this one is your call; tell me before you see your doctor, tell me when you know for sure, it's up to you.

If he believed in reincarnation, he would wonder what good thing he did (or what evil he suffered) in a previous life to have her in his life this time. She just convinced the richest woman in Europe and her son to make extremely generous contributions to her project. She planned and brought to fruition the most amazing house. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. And, in spite of an earlier tragedy, she was hoping that she was pregnant again with his child.

He stepped up to meet her. Her smile filled her face and spread to his. They walked up to the dais. As the last of seven bridesmaid/groomsmen couples, they needed to split up, he on the bride's side, her on the groom's. They took their places and faced the rear of the Rose Garden.

Donna had chosen her boss as her matron of honor. Helen Santos' dress was a very deep pink, almost a red, called "Gala Pink". Helen was an enigma; the cool serene blonde who arranged for a stripper and a sex toy party for her COS. She wore her hair in a twist that was positioned much lower than usual on her neck. Danny couldn't ever recall seeing her with her hair down.

He remembered the night of the DNC gala in San Francisco and how it felt taking the combs from CJ's hair afterward. He was sure that Matt Santos took the same degree of pleasure undoing his wife's hair and he could almost understand why some cultures put such a premium on covering a married woman's head. Not that he'd ever want to keep CJ in a medieval nun's wimple, but now, in addition to fantasies about the dress, he had visions of her wearing nothing but that hat and her smile. Every once in a blue moon, like for Leo's funeral, CH wore her hair pinned up. Maybe he'd drop some hints that he'd like to see her that way a little more often just so he could release it.

As Josh's best man, Sam came forward and escorted Helen to stand by Danny and then returned to his place by CJ.

The Santos children were supposed to be part of the wedding party but Fifth disease was running rampart through their school and the kids caught it. There was no ring bearer and only one flower girl. Toby claimed that with one more gig, Molly, now wearing a pink and white print sundress, would earn her union card in Flower Girls International and that they could start making money on her appearances.

A voluntary of trumpets and Wagner's Wedding March announced the arrival of the white rose of the event. The men on the dais, the living roses, and the guests all faced the rear of the garden. Donna's father wanted his princess to look like one and she did. She would have preferred a simple strapless sheath, but Mr. Moss wanted crinolines and Donna wanted to make her father happy. Her hair was caught up in a loose ponytail and curled into ringlets hanging down the back of her head. A crystal tiara held the veil on her head and the front veil covered her arms completely. Last night, Josh showed them the diamond necklace and earrings he would send over to the White House earlier today; they sparkled on her slender neck and her ears. The white roses she carried matched the iciness of her dress. She looked like a china doll.

Donna and her father reached the dais; he gave her hand to Josh. As Jed Bartlet stepped in front of the group and began the ceremony that would join the couple, Danny looked across at CJ and she looked at him. As the questions were asked of Josh and Donna, the two of them silently echoed the "I do's", renewing the vows they had made fifteen months ago.

In the sunny autumn afternoon, the scent of the roses of September enveloped the garden. Life could be quite good.


	29. Los Dias de los Muertos

**Los Dias de los Muertos**

CJ/Danny, mentions of others

Maybe PG

Through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Reviews, feedback and criticism always welcomed

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October 31, 2008 Santa Monica, CA.

Danny Concannon entered his kitchen with an empty platter. CJ was by the refrigerator, refilling the ice bucket.

"Any more of those feta cheese phyllo triangle thingies?" he asked.

"Tyropitas. I've got some in the oven, they should be ready in three minutes at the most, wait for the timer," she answered. She crossed the room toward him, kissed him lightly. "Are we running low on anything else?"

"The cocktail franks will be the next to go, then the fried chicken wings. Jessica brought some _baba ghanoush _and pita bread. You need to promise Dick Jenkins anything short of sex for his herbal cheesecake recipe. The antipasto tray's still got a lot on it, but it looks picked over." Then he smirked. "And your veggie tray has barely been touched."

"I know that, it's more symbolic than anything else. Anytime you get four or more women together, at least two of them are on a diet, whether they need to be or not, and at least one of them thinks that one of those in the group who aren't dieting should be. And you can promise Steve anything, **including** sex, as far as I'm concerned, for his scalloped pineapple recipe." He made a move to swat her behind and she moved out of the way, laughing. As she walked out of the kitchen, she added, "Grab some more Electric Lemonade when you come back."

They were hosting a neighborhood Halloween non-costume party. Trick-or-treat hours had been from 6:00 pm until 8:00 pm; the neighborhood kids were across the street at Li and Yan Wei's, with sleeping bags, videos, and four young women babysitters. It was the grown ups' turn to celebrate.

The oven timer buzzed. Danny grabbed a potholder, pulled out the pan, and dumped the tyropita triangles on the plate. Martha Stewart he was not; he was not going to spend time arranging them in a pleasing pattern. He picked up a pitcher of the lemonade spiked with rum, vodka, tequila, and blue curaçao.

Walking into the family room, he saw his wife up in the face of one of their neighbors. Billy Rogers lived on the other side of Frank and Diana Munoz and was on the Santa Monica city council. "Billy, you cannot be serious! Water is crucial to all of us in the community. I don't agree with it, but I can understand we might want to privatize trash collection or even street maintenance, but we can't sell the water company to private owners! I don't have a problem with contracting out the management, but if we don't own our water, we are playing with fire! Billy, you have got to convince the others on city council to vote your way! You just have to!" She started repeating herself. Poor Billy looked like a deer caught in the headlights; Bully totally agreed with CJ but she was into one of those run on phases that could last longer than a three-part mini-series.

Danny had learned many years ago that the only thing to do was to just mentally sit back and enjoy it until she finally talked out whatever was messing with her mind. Unfortunately, Billy didn't know that.

Well, there was one other thing that Danny could do to stop her. He had also learned long ago that if he grabbed her by the back of the neck and kissed her, not only did it stop her babbling, it also befuddled and confused her in a most delightful way.

However, it was something he would only do when the situation was just between her and him. He had tried it once in front of others, the night before their wedding, and while it had worked, he immediately felt as if he had stepped across that line that Jed Bartlet delineated duing their "pre-Cana conference" in New Hampshire; he felt as if he had done it to show the others that he had some control over her. Later in the evening, he pulled her aside and apologized. Her reaction made him realize that apologizing to her could be an aphrodisiac. There was one other time almost two years ago when he had considered doing it, but realized at the time that he couldn't because of the circumstances. In hindsight, he was glad he didn't; it might have ruined things between them.

November 10, 2006 – Reception following Leo McGarry's funeral, Washington DC

Earlier that morning, when he had awakened, all the happiness and optimism that had permeated his life Wednesday night and yesterday had dissipated and had been replaced by trepidation. What if she had regrets? What if it had been just her grief expressing itself? True, she did tell him last month that she wanted to seriously weigh his proposal after President Bartlet was out of office; but would Leo's death and her reaction to it affect her decision? And worst of all, after a day of thinking about it, what if he didn't stack up, bedroom wise, with the other men she had known?

After the funeral, he had decided to take the bull by the horns, as it were, had gone to her office and found out that not only did she enjoy being in his bed Wednesday night and not only did she look forward to being there again, she also talked about wanting to work out what it all meant for the two of them. She felt burdened by the "hostess/mistress of ceremonies" aspects of the funeral and it felt good to see her smile; it felt damned good to know that he had put that smile on her face.

He was making small talk with Ainsley Hayes, or rather, **she** was making small talk with **him**, not that anything Ainsley said could be classified as small talk.

Now, he was a writer and he loved the English language properly spoken and written. Sentences that ended in prepositions hurt his ears; non-agreement between subject and verb did the same thing. If he was ever captured and held as a prisoner of war, all the enemy had to do was expose him to a barrage of double negatives, split infinitives, and dangling participles; he would be broken like fine bone china dropped from a third story window. But Ainsley carried the art of good grammar (or what she thought was good grammar) to the realm of the ridiculous. He looked up, saw CJ talking with Donna Moss, and caught her eye. He smiled at her, she smiled back, somewhat shyly, and he could feel his joy break out all over his face. Surely, it was some form of venial sin to be so happy at such a sad occasion. He hoped he could hide his joy, but he felt like high-fiving someone.

A few minutes later, she told him that their plans for the evening needed to be set aside. When she explained about Donna staying at her place, he was tempted to tell her that according to one of his sources, Donna would probably have a better offer within the half-hour, but things like that were part of the reason he wanted to get out of reporting. When she went into her unending explanation about why she couldn't simply tell the truth to Donna, he thought about kissing her the way he did before Bartlet's second State of the Union speech and when he surprised her as Santa Claus. It would accomplish two things; one, it would cause her to shut up; two, it would very clearly explain to Ms. Moss why her hostess would not be there when Donna went to bed and hopefully not even when she awoke the next morning. If he were more sure about what he had heard from his fellow reporters on the Santos campaign trail, he would be tempted to walk up to Josh Lyman and talk with him as men do (or at least as men like to think they talk with each other). Then Josh would take Donna home with him; if Donna protested with objections similar to CJ's, Josh could tell Donna that Danny would explain it all to CJ. At the same time, Danny would tell CJ that Josh would explain it all to Donna. However, this was not the time to lay all the cards on the table. In this case, incrementalism was definitely an option. So he just stood back and enjoyed watching her stumble over her words and explanations. He was fairly certain that this would not be the last time he would be enjoying such a scene. The important thing was that she wanted to be with him again; his optimism was back – things would work out for the best.

October 31, 2008 – Santa Monica, CA

He managed to catch her eyes and she understood what he was telling her with his. She smiled at him, turned to Billy and apologized, and then went to get a Coke and mingle with the rest of their guests. They were getting very good at reading each other's thoughts, each other's moods.

Three weeks ago, Scott had confirmed that she was indeed carrying again. This time, there was only one baby and he felt a little better about this pregnancy, although Scott and the other doctors assured him that there would have been no reason to fear if it had been twins again.

On the way home from the doctor, he asked her if she would consider speaking with Frank Hollis about bringing on someone else to help with the fund-raising so that she could restrict her work to managing and overseeing (from the confines of her home and the UCLA offices, of course) the pilot project in Namibia. She agreed with him and the executive search committee of the Hollis foundation went to work looking for suitable people.

So far, they had told only a few people in strict confidence about the baby. Their joy was cautious, but they were happy. They had been through pregnancy last year; they knew what to expect. His book was published last week and the reviews had been good; he was moving up on the non-fiction bestseller lists. His bi-monthly op-ed piece was syndicated in about 80 papers across the country, at least one per state. In February, he would start working on Leo's biography. The Prince of Wales had sent him an outline and two chapters. The man had a good grasp of what he wanted to convey and the man knew how to write a decent essay; he wouldn't have to do much more than suggest a tweak here and there, maybe some phrasing and a little polish.

She was with Hank and Steve; he walked over to join them, put his arm around her waist. "You can't do that to poor Billy," he joked. "He may decide not to run again, and God knows who we'll get."

"We'll just draft CJ," Steve said.

Danny made a cross with his two index fingers. "Get behind me, Satan. She can't save the world and Santa Monica at the same time and still churn butter, iron my boxers, darn my socks, that sort of thing."

November 2, 2008 – Santa Monica, CA

CJ opened her eyes, glanced at the clock, saw that it was about 5:30 in the early evening. Wow, it was later than she thought. The space beside her was fairly cool and she could hear the sounds of football coming from the family room. Danny must have decided to let her sleep.

She got up, picked up the floppy hat from Donna's wedding and the plastic wrapper from the Candy-Pants. Earlier, when they were at Sunday brunch, Danny turned down dessert and then whispered that he would rather have her in the hat and a pair of the panties she got at Donna's bachelorette party when they got home. She glanced over at the nightstand by his side of the bed, saw a few scraps of the edible underwear, and wished she had bought a few pair of the edible men's briefs.

Throwing a shift over her head, she walked into the family room and discovered her husband softly snoring in front of the ESPN football guys. Picking up his empty beer bottle, she went to the kitchen, grabbed herself a bottle of seltzer, and made sure that the kitchen door was locked. After checking the living room door and the one from the garage into the courtyard, she went over to the hot tub, disrobed, checked the temperature, and lowered herself into the water. Scott had told her that as long as the water wasn't too hot and the air jets weren't on, she could use the tub for a couple of months.

They had gone to church today. They usually went about twice a month, often on Saturday evening. Today was the feast of All Souls and as part of the service, the parish commemorated the lives of those who had died in the past year. There had been nineteen candles carried in by members of the Teen Club at the beginning of Mass and placed by the altar. The ages of the dead ranged from their infant boys to the 106-year-old grandmother of the parish deacon. After the homily, the names of the dead were read and she, Danny, and family members of the others carried up white roses and placed them in a vase by the altar.

After Mass, they entered the boys in the book set up for people to list the names of family and friends who had died over the past twelve months. They also added her father's name. (Last year, since it was their first November in the parish, they had entered the names of his parents and her mother.) They stopped to look at the Altar of the Dead that had been set up in by one of the side altars. At the party, Diana had explained that "Los Dias de los Muertos" (the days of the dead) – the Aztec, Mayan, and other Mesoamerican customs of honoring the dead with fruits, candies, flowers, baked breads and other tokens – had been adapted by the Spanish missionaries. "Of course, they moved the feasts to coincide with All Saints and All Souls and tried to take away the festive nature of it, make it purely spiritual, but they failed," she added. Then Danny had to explain that **those** feasts were adaptations of the Celtic and Druidic feast of Samhain, which not only celebrated the harvest and the new year but also the day when the boundaries between the living and the dead were relaxed. She sometimes wondered if waxing esoteric was a Notre Dame trait; her husband was nowhere near Jed Bartlet in terms of geekiness, but he did have quite a store of trivia on which to draw when he felt like it.

Her hand moved over her still flat stomach. By the end of next May, God willing, they will have been married for two years, and she will have been pregnant for eighteen of those twenty-four months. She was looking forward to being a mother and she was looking forward to seeing Danny as a father. They had so much fun on Friday night before the party handing out candy to the Trick-or-treaters. In a few years, they'd be trading off, one of them at home to hand out candy and the other taking the minnow inside her door to door.

She felt his hand on her hair and opened her eyes to see him removing his clothes, joining her in the hot tub. "Dr. Danny prefers being with me than being with Chris Berman?" she asked.

Last night, he told her that he was thinking about going back to school, getting his Ph.D. While in Washington for the wedding, he had been talking with Toby about the state of reporting and writing and the man challenged him to do something about it. "To put a nicer spin on an old adage, 'Those who can, do; those who are tired of doing teach others to do'. Think about it," Toby told him. Danny had spoken with the _LA Times_ editor, who put him in touch with the Annenberg School of Journalism at USC. He would work out an inter-disciplinary program with the English department, getting a Ph.D. in Creative Writing and an M.A. in Print Journalism. He really didn't need the degree to teach; he could come on board right now as an adjunct faculty member, but with the degree would come tenure and other benefits, not to mention more money. What did she think?

Last night, she told him she thought it was a wonderful idea. Yes, they would figure out how to pay for it. Yes, she would help quiz him for the Graduate Record Exam. Yes, if he wanted to teach part-time one or two nights a week at West LA Community College to help pay for school, she a) wouldn't mind and b) would make sure to be safe at home on those nights before he left for Culver City. "Dr. Danny," she teased him. "If the Minnow" she touched her stomach "turns out to be a girl, the wedding invitations will read '**Dr**. and Mrs. Daniel Concannon request the et. cetera, et. cetera, et. cetera"

Now, he sat down in the water, facing her. "Let's see," he held out his right hand, palm up. "Naked wife in hot tub." Now the left one, also palm up. "Five guys discussing football. Call me a wimp, but I'll take option one." His right foot played along her left calf. "We never finished talking last night. What did Frank want when he phoned earlier?"

"The Executive Search committee came up with three people for fund-raising. I can pick none, one, or two but not all three. There's a bit of history with all of them, some more than others." She looked at him from under her eyebrows, not sure she really wanted to spoil the mood with the topic.

"So?"

"Laura Gail Fitzwallace, John Hoynes, and Glenallen Walken."

"Fitz' widow?" He seemed surprised.

"It's not that far out," she said. "Historically, men don't get to elite status in the military unless their wives are strong, outgoing women. The commander's wife managed the other wives at home on base while the men were off to war. If this were something like the March of Dimes, she'd be great, but the scope of this is beyond anything she or the others like her have ever encountered."

"Then it will have to be Walken."

That's what she was thinking, but it surprised her to hear him make such a imperative statement. She tried to lighten the mood. "So do you not trust Hoynes, not trust me, or not trust either of us?"

"Don't be ridiculous," he snapped. Obviously, her attempt at humor didn't work.

Then they were both talking over each other.

"I'm sorry, Da-"

"Forgive me, Jean –"

"ny, I was just surprised because "

"nie, I didn't mean it "

"you usually don't make such "

"to come out that way."

"categorical statements."

They stopped, smiled at each other. She grabbed his hand across the water, squeezed it.

He leaned forward, took both her hands in his. "It's his ambition. He's always going to be looking for a way to come back. It's in his nature. And in any other situation, I'd think it was a good thing. I'm just afraid he'd want to take over, take your job, after you've put so much into it, so much infrastructure into the task of building infrastructure, as it were. You saw how it was out here before Toby pulled you into 'Bartlet for America' – so much backstabbing. As for the other, you know it's never been an issue. It's just that I know how much this thing means to you and I don't want to see you hurt. Besides, then I'd have to go after him, and I think he could take me," he joked.

"You're right, as usual, husband mine, but – ".

"You think it might turn into another situation like the one eight years ago with Tad What's-his-butt from State?"

"Yeah, I know what he said, but - . Well, I know that Josh and Sam rely on him quite a bit to help steer the President in the right direction. I could say that I don't want to poach him out of my friendship for them and out of respect for Matt Santos."

"You could also say that you want him to stay in DC because he would be better for Margaret than Arnold Vinnick."

"Which surprisingly has the advantage of being the truth," she laughed, then turned serious. "So that leaves Glen Walken. We have a past with him also; I don't know what he believes or doesn't believe about you, me, and the Sharif story. Plus he would be working for someone who for three days, theoretically worked for him. I don't know if he could deal with it; I'm not really sure I could deal with it, he is a former president."

"Have him come out here, meet with you, Frank, and Bonnie in San Luis Obispo. Bring him down here, see how he meshes with you and Nancy. Then bring him here, meet with you and me. We'll put everything out in the open, see where we stand. And if he doesn't work, you tell Frank, tell the committee, to come up with some more names."

And in the waning hours of a weekend on which two ancient cultures honored the past and looked forward to the future, harvested the results of the work of the year gone by and anticipated the work of the year to come, the two of them remembered their sons, planned for the child to come, and planned for their lives together, still falling off the cliff, still holding hands on the way down.


	30. Scenes from a Solstice

**Scenes from a Solstice**

CJ/Danny, Hoynes, Toby, Walken

Maybe PG for use of sexual imagery to describe a pyschological event

Spoilers: through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Reviews, feedback and criticism always welcome

"All Through the Night" ("Ar Hyd y Nos") traditional Welsh melody

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December 21, 2008

Danny let himself back into the house. It was a dreary day for southern California and he planned to be lazy for most of it. He had just come back from the Santa Monica general aviation airport; CJ was flying up to San Luis Obispo to meet with Franklin Hollis, Bonnie, Glenallen Walken, and some of the Hollis Foundation board. She would spend the night with Frank and Sarita and drive back tomorrow morning with the former president. When they discussed the trip, he had good-naturedly accepted her teasing ("I'll be in a limo with three Secret Service agents, I'll be perfectly safe, Danny!") about her travel plans. She would show President Walken the offices she and Nancy used on the UCLA campus and the two of them would come to the house for lunch. Then he and CJ would talk with Walken about the Sharif story and what they did and did not do during the man's three-day tenure in office. If everyone felt comfortable with the situation (and if everything had gone well up at Cal Poly), Glenallen Walken would be hired by the Hollis Foundation as Chief Fundraiser for "Road to a Better World". It kind of sucked that the meeting had to tie up a Sunday, but with the holidays and other contingencies, this was the best timing for all concerned.

His instructions were relatively simple. CJ's Prime Directive stated that he should avoid messing up the public rooms of the house if at all possible. Narcisia, the Bosnian woman who usually came in twice a month to help with the cleaning, had been there on Friday. This was fine with him; he stopped for doughnuts and coffee on the way back from the airport and bought enough doughnuts for breakfast tomorrow as well. Tomorrow morning, he'd have some of the instant hot chocolate mix. Dinner would be delivery. He could manage to throw away bags and boxes used in the family room and he would read the paper in the bedroom. NFL football and sleep would occupy most of his day. Tomorrow, he was to remove the sheet that CJ had put over the already set dining room table. At an appropriate time, she would call and he would start following her written timetable for fixing the meal. (Two fryers cooked the way Toby did, with lemon and rosemary, a salad with romaine, hearts of palm, asparagus, hearts of artichoke and avocado, some French bread.) When he asked why there were two chickens, she said that they would also be feeding the agents, or at least offering them food, that's why the table was set for five.) Oh, and make sure that he wore a nice pair of chinos and a sweater. Her nesting instincts were in overdrive. Yes, he would have a hard time sleeping tonight without her in the bed, but he was just a little bit glad that he had some time to himself to veg out for a while.

He was still tired from Hank and Steve's annual Christmas costume party last night and didn't know how CJ was going to make it through the day. He should have phoned Sarita Hollis as soon as the private plane took off and mentioned it to her. CJ was probably already there by now and he didn't want her to think he was micro-managing her (at least not that much). The two of them, plus Frank and Diana Munoz went as the "four mud-grip tires" from the "Redneck Twelve Days of Christmas". Diana was also pregnant (she was due about two weeks before CJ) and the two of them decided to use hula-hoops (two apiece) as frames for the _papier-maché_ tires that the four of them would wear around their waists over black pants and T-shirts.

The phone rang; she was calling to let him know that she had landed, that the Hollis' had been waiting at the airport and that they were about to pull into the driveway of the townhouse Frank and Sarita kept in San Luis Obispo.

"Be good. Don't try to do too much. Make it an early night for yourself even if the rest of the group wants to party on," he told her.

"Yes sir," she laughed. "Love you."

"Love you back."

He took his coffee and doughnuts to the bedroom and read the paper. By the time he was done, the early games from the East coast were well into the third quarter, but that was okay. He went into the family room, built a fire, and flipped between the games. About 3:30 PM, he called for the large pizza (bacon and extra cheese) that would be his lunch, dinner, and midnight snack. Right after he hung up, the phone rang, but when he answered, there were a few seconds of air, and then a dial tone. Must have been a wrong number. He got a beer from the kitchen and opened the bottle. The skies darkened and the lights of the Christmas tree glowed brighter in both glass windows. The doorbell rang and, grabbing a twenty from his wallet and opened the door to see, in addition to the delivery guy, former Vice-president John Hoynes.

A bit nonplussed, he gave the twenty to the guy, took the pizza and invited the man into his home.

"I'm not going to apologize for disturbing you, Danny, I needed to talk with you and I wasn't sure you would see me if I tried to make plans in advance."

At least the man was being honest with him. "CJ isn't here right now – ".

"I know exactly where CJ is and what she's doing."

Okay, the man was coming right to the point. He led him down the glassed-in walkway from the entry hallway to the family room. Remembering the man's admitted alcoholism, he said, "We've got Caffeine-free Diet Coke, Diet Ginger-ale and seltzer, Mr. Vice-president."

" Please; call me John. And a Coke would be fine; if it's cold, don't bother with a glass."

Danny set down the pizza box and went to the kitchen. He grabbed a can of Coke and a can of seltzer for himself. He didn't know if he should drink his beer in front of the other man. He started to get some plates out of the cabinet and then figured out that if Hoynes was willing to drink his Coke straight from the can, he was probably willing to eat pizza as men do and just grabbed the roll of paper towels from the hanger by the sink.

He handed the Coke to the other man, set down the towels by the pizza box, and reached for the seltzer can.

"Danny, I don't have a problem with you drinking beer." Looking around him through the two sets of glass windows, those on the west opening to the stormy ocean, those on the east facing the inner courtyard, he added, "This place is amazing. You were certainly lucky to find it. I'm sure there are very few like it."

Danny's face glowed with pride. "Actually, it's one of a kind, we think." He got up, moved to a side credenza, and picked up a photo album. "This is what we had when we bought it, John." He opened to a picture of a small "C"-shaped house. "The rest is what CJ saw and brought to fruition with the architect, the builder, and the landscaping team. I just signed where she told me to sign," he added what was becoming his mantra when people talked to him about the house. He lowered the sound on the TV, opened the pizza box, and offered it to the other man, telling him about the toppings.

They each took a couple of bites, and then Hoynes told him, "She certainly is an amazing woman. Did you ever wonder why you had the luck to win her?"

"I don't wonder; I just thank God every day for her."

"As well you should. Back in February, at the thing at the Fairmont, I may have said something to upset her and I was wondering – ".

"She told me about your conversation; we discussed it. She was not upset. She was surprised because she never saw the possibility, but you did not upset her."

"Did it upset **you**?"

"No. On an analytical level, I told her that she wouldn't have been ready for you right out of school, that for it to work between the two of you, it would have had to have happened during the Administration, had you been single at the time, and, of course, without the events around Emily's List." The man looked up quickly. "You would have had the biggest fight of your life, Mr. Vice-president," Danny added quietly.

This was getting too dicey; time for some subterfuge. "Excuse me." Danny got up, went into the bedroom. He grabbed his cell from the dresser and went into the bathroom, closed the door, and punched "ICE1CJ".

"Hey, there," she answered.

"Sorry to bother you, sweetheart, but I need to tell you that John Hoynes is sitting in our family room eating my pizza. I think he wants to press me on why he is out of the running for the job."

"Oh fu—".

"Not in front of the Minnow," he joked. "Just remember, you are concerned about poaching on Josh and Sam, and you want Margaret to be happy. I never said a thing to you. I'll handle it from here. Love you."

"Okay. Love you back."

He flushed the commode, washed his hands, opened the bathroom door and returned to the family room.

He came back and they each picked up another slice of the pizza.

"I'm not here to beg for the job; I just want to make sure that what I said in San Francisco or what I did way back when is not causing a problem for her. Or for you."

"John, she feels she owes some loyalty to Josh and to Sam because they need you for Matt Santos; she feels that you are better for Margaret than Arnie Vinnick. I happen to agree with her, but she made up her mind herself."

"I don't deserve Margaret; I'm surprised that I have a fighting chance."

"You **do** realize that if you mess this up with Margaret, you will have two presidents, the White House Chief of Staff and his deputy, several former presidential advisors, and the eternally unforgiving cohort of White House women, past and present, not to mention the ghost of Leo McGarry, all champing at the bit to wreak havoc on every aspect of your life?"

The other man nodded his head, then asked, "You had no input to her decision? You had no concerns? The fact that she and I once –"

Danny looked into John Hoynes' eyes with a gaze so piercing it could cut a diamond. "You would not risk it and it would never occur to me to doubt my wife's fidelity. There are not, there have never been, any ghosts in my marriage bed, not you, not anyone else."

John Hoynes flushed and looked away for a few seconds. "So my candidacy was never an issue with you? It caused no problems? You would have accepted me if she had chosen me?"

No one, especially this man, had any business knowing about five seconds of human frailty between CJ and him. Danny decided that it was okay for him to bend the truth a little.

"To be brutally honest," he mentally crossed his fingers, "had it come to that, I would have pointed out to her that you are by nature a very ambitious man. I would have been concerned for her. She has put so much of herself into this project, taking it from a glimmer in Franklin Hollis' mind to actuality. I would not want it pulled out from underneath her; I would not want her stabbed in the back. I am very protective of her. As I said earlier, I thank God everyday for her."

"When she told you of our conversation last February, did she tell you that she said the very same thing about you?"

In spite of himself, a slow smile spread over Danny's face. "She did leave out that one fact. And, again, in the end, if she wanted you, it was always her decision to make. Hey, this game looks like it's getting good. Let's turn up the sound. Can I get you another Coke?"

They watched the rest of the game, talked about general things of interest. Hoynes wasn't sure, but he thought there was a little Lyman on the horizon. ("She has that glow and Josh looks as if he invented the remote control.") He was totally in love with Margaret's toddler, was so afraid of wrecking the situation, and took a guilty hope in the fact that Margaret wanted more children and he was younger than Vinnick, but he wasn't counting on anything. Danny offered advice and he listened. They finished the pizza.

The game ended and Hoynes got up to leave. "When you see Glen Walken, give him my congratulations."

They walked to the door. "That's not a done deal. I'm concerned – we're concerned," he corrected himself, "about any fallout from my Sharif story. She may send back the decision to the Search Committee."

"Thank you, and Merry Christmas, Danny."

"Merry Christmas, John."

Danny shut the door, exhaled sharply, cleaned up the family room, putting the bottles and cans in the recycle bin and the pizza box and paper towels in the trash outside. He wiped down the coffee table, put another log on the fire, shut off the television and sat in the dark by the light of the tree and the fire.

He felt sorry for John Hoynes. As Mariah had said, the man confused masculinity and maleness. He might never be able to be secure enough in the former to restrain the latter, but if he wanted any peace in his life, if he wanted Margaret, he damned well better work at it. Had he known Hoynes better, he should have suggested seeking professional help, but that would require friendship and they were only acquaintances.

To be brutally honest with himself, what he had told the former Vice-president was not the entire truth. While he had never feared the ghosts of the men with whom CJ had been physically intimate, for some time he did have feelings of anxiety concerning her emotional relationship with one Tobias Zachary Ziegler.

Toby came the closest to having the emotional relationship with her that Danny shared with her. If Jed Bartlet was the pseudo-father to whom she chose to give obedience and Leo McGarry was the martinet to whom she had to give submission, Toby Ziegler was often the pseudo-husband to whom she gave respect, to whom she looked for support, to whom she turned when she needed a sounding board. He knew from the way she acted at first about Santos' offer that she had never made that final leap of faith, that final surrender of trust with Toby, but he also knew that she had come close to doing so. On that emotional wedding night in January when she came to him to tell him that she did not know how to have a successful relationship with him, she came to him with that psychological hymen intact; however, she and Toby had certainly mentally experienced "everything but". He broke through that barrier that evening and made her psyche his, but he needed several months to erase the feelings of unease and resentment he held for her relationship with Toby; in contrast, on the night after Leo's death, his resentment and unease about the other men who had known her body lasted less than a nanosecond.

It began to dissipate when he learned that she would not be asking Toby to walk her down the aisle at their wedding; he did not know if he could have dealt with the symbolism of Toby Ziegler giving him permission to marry CJ. It totally disappeared about three weeks after the wedding. The two of them were in New York, in Toby's apartment, on their way back from Scotland, Ireland, and Dubai. She was sitting in an easy chair and he was sitting on the arm of the chair. Hearing about his concerns for her safety while she traveled, Toby made a disparaging snort; she calmly said that it pleased her to make her husband happy. When Toby tried to pursue the subject with her, she smiled and said, "Toby, it's non-negotiable", looked up at him, and kissed his hand. She turned back to Toby, "it's what Danny wants."

The clock chimed 6:00 PM; he looked outside at the total darkness.The Solstice had occurred this afternoon. Tomorrow would be the first full day of winter; tomorrow she would be home.

He wished they could cocoon themselves, hibernate for the next three months. He had visions of them with stores of food and firewood, other necessities, books, movies, games, not leaving the house until the equinox when day would once again conquer night. He could rub her neck, her back, her stomach, massage her feet. He could watch her increase with their child. She would be knitting something for the baby; he would be making a cradle. Earlier today, he laughed a bit and felt only tolerance for her nesting instincts; now he wanted to see her making a warm, safe, and pleasant home for the two of them and their baby. Earlier today, he was looking forward to his time of solitude; now he wanted her with him, near him, his arms around her.

It was impossible, of course. It was southern California, not northern Michigan. This cold, dreary weather would be gone by tomorrow or the next day. At most, they could keep a month's supply of food at a time. Her pregnancy necessitated visits to Scott every three weeks and soon every two. He had contracted to teach two classes in Culver City starting in mid-January. But this year, he resolved that they would spend as much time as possible at home – no trips to the northern coast, to the East, to Ireland. He would talk with her about it tomorrow, convince her that it was the right thing to do at the right time. And sometime, it would be nice to have a true winter Christmas with her and their child. He remembered midnight Mass with snow on the grass (but not on the streets) and a light coat of ice glistening on the trees; weather cold enough that soda, beer and even some food would chill on the back porch (and having to make sure that Pistol didn't get at the food).

The phone rang; it was her cell on the caller id.

She told him about the afternoon with Walken; he told her about his with Hoynes. Sarita was about to serve a simple Sunday supper of sloppy joes and french fries. The men were planning to watch hockey after the meal but she was planning an early night.

"Sleep well," he told her. "I miss you. Hurry home to me."

"You too. Me too. I will. Love you."

"Love you back."

The next day, everything went fine with the lunch. The five of them finished the chicken and the bread, most of the salad. The agents refused the sorbet and pizelles, and retired, two to the family room, one to stand outside the house. Glen and the two of them ate dessert; the men had coffee while she drank lemongrass tea.

The former president shyly (or as shy as a man of his presence could be) asked her if she was "with child." They answered him honestly, told him that they had not yet made any general announcements and asked him to not mention it to anyone else.

CJ spoke first. "For this to work, we need to talk about several things. First, to be honest with you and with myself, when the committee first gave me your name, I was not sure if I would be able to set aside 'President Walken' and see you as an associate, not to mention someone reporting to me. I've come to grips with the idea, but I need to know how you feel about working for someone who, for three days, worked for you."

"Being President is not something for which I ever aimed. I put my hat in the ring in 2006 because I was afraid of Butler and I honestly didn't think that Arnie had a chance at the nomination. I was so relieved when he started winning primaries and I could drop out of the race. And those three days showed me what an awesome responsibility is encumbered on that office. I was dealing with members of my own party who wanted me to advance their agenda; I was dealing with all of you – the staff that did their jobs in spite of great personal connection with the Bartlets and with Zoey. At the time, I knew that I had the responsibility for the final decision, but that up to that point, we were colleagues. That is how I would view our relationship; in the end, the weight of decision falls upon you, but for the rest of the time, two people trying to improve the world. If you can accept me that way, I would be honored to work with you."

"President Walken," Danny leaned forward, "my only interest in this matter is my wife's happiness. We've accepted the fact that some people will always have doubts about what went on between us during those White House years. For the most part, we don't care. Our friends know the truth. In your case, we think it's important that we make sure that you know exactly what happened _vis à vis_ the Sharif incident and that you are comfortable with it. Any resentment or distrust will only cause problems between the two of you." He then told the other man how he first came upon the story, how he researched it. She added the information that she and Leo convinced him to hold off on the story for three days in exchange for an exclusive on the Bahji sleepers.

"Then the FBI broke the story about the Bahji and you chose not to honor Leo's deal with Danny," CJ said. "But Leo and I had given our word; if it had been another reporter, I would have done the same thing all over again. I understood why your advisors wanted to control the situation, but I had my personal integrity, the integrity of Jed Bartlet's administration foremost in my mind. So after I told Danny that there would be no comment from the White House, I told him to post the story immediately."

"Those were three days that tested all our loyalties, to ourselves, to country, to party," Walken mused. Then he looked directly at CJ. "But it was a point of honor? It had nothing to do with whatever conscious or subconscious thing the two of you had going on between you for all those years?"

Danny answered for the both of them. "Part of what attracted me to her was her sense of integrity and honor. We can't separate who and what we are from what drew us to each other. But believe her when she says that she would have done it for the guy from the Times, from Newsweek, from Reuters."

They talked some more. They showed him the rest of the house. He made the usual comments and Danny went through his usual speech about his wife's vision. The sun was just starting to set as they walked with him to the limousine that would take him to the airport.

As soon as he closed the front door behind him, she grabbed hold of him and kissed him the way she kissed him those times in the press room. He kissed her back the way he kissed her that first time in the office. The brief exchange they shared earlier in the day had been nowhere near enough.

They were cleaning up, putting stuff in the dishwasher, debating about saving two cups of wilted salad (she said yes, he said no). There was an ambulance siren in the distance; it was getting closer. Suddenly, it was very loud and they could see flashing lights; the sirens stopped and they heard something large braking outside their house.

They ran outside. It was stopped across the street at the Wei's. Hank and Steve were already there. Apparently, no one else on the block was at home.

Li had been chopping some vegetables and the knife slipped. The cut was deep, severed a tendon, knicked an artery. Yan had to go to the hospital with her husband.

"We'll take Mei-Ling," CJ took the four-month-old little girl from Yan's arms, picked up the cradle carrier. Danny took the baby and the carrier from her. "Go get some diapers, some clothes," he told her. Then to Yan, "Get in the ambulance. She'll be fine." Steve went to follow the ambulance to the hospital. Yan might need to have someone there for emotional support.

"Take the carriage, she can sleep in it," Yan said as she ran out of the house.

By the time CJ returned from the baby's room, Hank and Danny had filled a carryall bag with bottles from the refrigerator.

About a half-hour later, Danny walked into the kitchen. CJ was holding Mei-Ling with her left arm while she put a bottle in the simmering saucepan. He leaned against the doorjamb. "You look good like that," he said.

She turned, smiled, and stifled a huge yawn.

"You're beat," he said. He came toward her, held out his arms. "I'll do this; you go sleep for a bit."

"Are you sure you're okay with it?"

"I **do** have two nieces; they survived." He took the baby. "Come to Uncle Danny." He reached over to CJ, kissed her hair. "Scoot," he ordered.

When she woke up, it was totally dark. She could see the lights of the Christmas tree coming through the open bedroom door; she could hear Danny's voice softly singing.

She got up, walked toward the family room. He was standing, slowly walking with the sniffling child, one hand under her butt, the other on her head. The words of the hauntingly beautiful Welsh Christmas lullaby reached her

"_Sleep, my child, and peace attend thee, all through the night.  
Guardian angels God will send thee, all through the night.  
Soft the drowsy hours are creeping, hill and vale in slumber sleeping,  
God, His loving vigil keeping, all through the night. _

While the moon her watch is keeping, all through the night.  
While the weary world is sleeping, all through the night.  
Through your dreams you're swiftly stealing, visions of delight revealing,  
Christmas time is so appealing, all through the night.

You, my God, a Babe of wonder, all through the night.  
Dreams You dream can't break from thunder, all through the night.  
Children's dreams cannot be broken; life is but a lovely token,  
Christmas should be softly spoken all through the night."

Her tears came silently, but they came copiously. They dripped off her face and soaked her sweater.

She must have made some sound, because he turned around and saw her. Her tears glistened in the lights from the tree and he came to her, concern on his face.

"Jeannie?"

"It should be one of ours, Danny. You should be doing that with our boys."

He put the baby in her carrier and pulled CJ to the couch, sat down, pulled her down beside him. He held her and quieted her tears. He whispered into her ear, "Next year, sweetheart. One more set of solstices and equinoxes."

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"The Redneck Twelve Days of Christmas"

Attributed to Randy and the Rednecks

"On the nth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

12 pack of Bud,

11 wrasslin' tickets,

A "tin" of Copenhagen,

9 years probation,

8 table dancers,

7 packs of Red Man,

6 cans of Spam,

5 flannel shirts,

4 mud-grip tires,

3 shot-gun shells,

2 hunting dogs,

and some parts to a Mustang GT."


	31. Proverbs 31: 10 through 31

**Proverbs 31:10-31**

(Alternative title: "It's the Thought That Counts")

CJ/Danny, Sam. Mentions of Josh/Donna, Santos, others

G-rated

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Scripture quotations are from the New American Bible

Reviews, feedback and criticism always welcomed

-------------------------------------

Early afternoon February 14, 2009 Santa Monica, CA.

It was a warm, sunny day, somewhat of an oddity in southern coastal California, as February was part of the rainy season.

CJ went into the family room, saw her husband watching the TV and mildly cursing. "Honey, a cab just arrived. I think Sam's here."

He turned off the set. "Notre Dame basketball is sucking big time this season," he grumbled. As he rose from the couch, the doorbell rang and the two of them went to meet their guest.

The Lieutenant Governor of the state had died of a brain aneurysm earlier in the week and the funeral had been this morning in Sacramento. Sam had come out as representative of the Santos administration. A few hours ago, he had called and asked if he could fly down and see them for a while before he went back to DC. He needed to talk about something.

As the door opened, Sam saw CJ and Danny arm in arm. He took one look at CJ and burst out laughing. He went on for a good minute, just laughing and pointing at her T-shirt. "I don't believe it!" he gasped. "You are actually wearing –".

CJ laughed with him and looked up at an embarrassed Danny. "Danny bought it, Sam. Rag **him** about it, not me." She continued, "I needed lots of maternity clothes this time. Last year", a slight hitch in her voice, "I borrowed a lot but my neighbor is also pregnant this time around. Anyway, everything else Danny bought me for Christmas is in much better taste. I guess he's allowed one slip up."

"I was with Josh; he bought one for Donna, too. It seemed like a good idea at the time," Danny defended himself.

"Well, I haven't seen Donna wearing hers," Sam stated.

CJ planted a kiss on her husband's cheek. "Well, maybe Donna doesn't love Josh as much as I love Danny." She looked down at the maternity T-shirt printed with the old Pillsbury advertising jingle:

"**Nothin' says lovin' like somethin' in the oven."**

They led their guest into the sunny courtyard and over to the table and chairs where a plate of turkey, lettuce, and tomato sandwiches (and a couple with just turkey on dry toast for CJ) and a pitcher of lemonade sat. Danny asked Sam if he would prefer anything else to drink (he didn't).

Sam congratulated Danny on the Pulitzer nomination for _"My Readers Expect a Little Bit More"_, his best-selling book about his years as a White House reporter, and asked about the other books.

"Thanks, but it's a long shot. Katie's book about how the pedophilia scandals in the non-Catholic churches and other organizations have been glossed over and ignored is more deserving of the award. She took quite a bit of crap, even some death threats over it. Anyway, it's an honor just to be nominated. Leo's story should be ready for the summer. I can't decide among _'It's What Our Fathers Taught Us'_, _'To Raise the Level of Public Debate'_, and _'There Is No Such Thing as Too Smart'_ for the title. The Prince of Wales is doing pretty well on his own; I'm just offering advice here and there. Right now, we're looking for a title. We're trying to find a terse, pithy, and diplomatic way to say 'I've finally realized that I need to make my legacy now, in my own way, rather than sitting death watch on my mother'. Any suggestions?"

"I'll take it under advisement." Sam reached into his briefcase, pulled out his copy of Danny's book. "Would you sign it for me?"

Danny opened the book to the dedication page ("For CJ, who keeps holding my hand.") and wrote "To Sam, one of the good guys. Best always, Danny."

Thanks, Danny. CJ what's up with 'Macadam for the Masses'? How's Walken working out?"

"It's 'Road to the Better World'. We're doing okay. The first road in Namibia went very well. We did find a few things to adjust, but we're doing more secondary roads there now, extending the network. Right now, we're debating on the next site. The neediest place is the Sudan, of course, but there's concern about working in an area so unstable, so there's a lot of pull for Tanzania or multiple projects in the area between Senegal and Gabon. Walken hit the ground running, as it were, and is actually shaming some of the so-called 'social Darwinist rich' to give."

They exchanged more small talk, discussed the loss of the Lieutenant Governor.

"It's a real loss," Danny said. "Governor Tillman gave him a lot of responsibility and really depended on him. He wasn't just a 'bucket of warm spit' to Tillman."

CJ hit her husband in the arm. "Danny, not while we're eating! How am I going to get that image out of my mind?"

She gagged slightly.

He picked up her hand as kissed it. "I'm sorry, sweetheart, it just came out. By the way, I read somewhere that Garner really used another 'S' word and some reporter changed it to make it more printable." He looked at Sam. "I know you wanted to talk with CJ about something; this might be a good time for me to leave the two of you alone."

"Actually, Danny, I'd appreciate your input as well," Sam answered. "Would you mind staying?"

"If my wife doesn't want me banished from her presence."

She smiled at him. "I guess you're forgiven, especially after this morning."

"Uh, guys, this is kind of serious."

They turned their attention to Sam.

"The California constitution states that in the event of the death of the Lieutenant Governor, the Governor will name a replacement, subject to confirmation by the State Assembly and the State Senate. This morning, Tillman asked me to fill the office."

"Sam!" CJ squealed. She reached over and kissed his cheek, then sat back. "Or is this not something you would consider?"

"CJ, when I ran for the 47th, I was exhilarated. I think I have a message, a vision, a calling to serve the people in public office. I really want to do it, but –"

"You feel an obligation to Josh, to Matt Santos." Danny finished his thought.

"Yeah. Ceej," he turned to her. "What do you think?"

"Sam, I think you should do it. Now, you have to keep in mind that Josh will say I advised you to do so because I'm still upset at the way he left me short-handed and he may be right, but – "

"You are much too scrupulous, too worried about your integrity," Danny softly reproved her, kissing the side of her head.

She turned to him. "I am not!" she said sharply.

"You are, you were with us, you are with everything," he insisted again. Then he laughed, kissed her again. "But it's part of what makes you the woman I love. It's just my job to make sure you don't beat up yourself too much over it."

She smiled. Sam coughed. "Uh, guys?"

They turned back to him.

"We just finished mid-terms and next year is re-election. Can I really leave them now?"

CJ answered him. "Well, Sam, you weren't involved in the election, so it's not like you're leaving a hole in the committee to re-elect. Granted, Josh wasn't Chief of Staff last time, but now he has the full force of the Democratic Party behind him. Plus, from what I gather, Margaret has the day-to-day functioning of the West Wing bureaucracy completely in hand," Sam nodded in assent, "so Josh won't have to deal with that Mickey Mouse crap. Between Vinnick, Nancy, and Santos' own military background, he doesn't have nearly the involvement in foreign affairs that Leo and I had to have. Hoynes and Amy have the give and take with the House and Senate under control. He and Donna have what amounts to an apartment in the Residence, and he **does** have Donna at his side, so the personal aspects are under control. In contrast, I spent most of the last year deserted by just about all my old associates, my best friend under indictment, my own integrity under a cloud, my 'quote unquote scruples' keeping me from having the love and support of a partner –"

"You had it, you just didn't know it," Danny added softly.

"Stop interrupting." She made an attempt to sock his arm, but there was a smile on her face and in her voice.

"Not to mention the possibility that the President was relapsing or going into the secondary progressive phase of MS. Compared to me, Josh is running a girls' finishing school!"

"You've grasped all that from here? Now I see why Josh and the President were so pissed when you said 'No'. You want to go back, take my place?" he asked.

She laughed and shook her head no.

Quieter, more serious. "You want to come work with me in Sacramento?"

No laugh, but another shake of the head.

"You know, about five years ago, President Bartlet told me that I was going for run for President one day and I can't do that unless I've held some other office. Maybe I should call him, ask him as well. What do you think, Dan-" He stopped as he saw Danny staring at him in the strangest way.

"Do it, Sam," Danny ordered softly.

"Danny?" CJ looked at her husband. He looked back at her. There was a minute of silence, but Sam had the impression that an important conversation was taking place.

_Is this one of those things you've told me about? _

_I think so, but let's not scare Sam with my weirdness. _

_What do you see? _

_I don't **see **anything, but Sam needs to do this, trust me. _

_You know I do._

She turned to Sam. "I agree with Danny. Do it."

Sam exhaled sharply. "Thanks, guys." He glanced at his watch. It was 5:45 and his plane left at 8:00 PM. "I better get going. Can we call a cab?"

"I'll run you to LAX," Danny offered.

"Honey, we've got to be at church by 7:00. Remember, you're doing the first reading." She turned to Sam. "Our church does a thing for married couples on St. Valentine's Day – Mass, a special guest priest/speaker, dinner, dancing, babysitting for the kids, it's really kind of ni –" She stopped as she saw the growing look of horror on Sam's face.

"You forgot!" she exclaimed.

"Sam, you are in deep trouble," Danny added.

Sam put his head in his hands. "I'm going to ask her to uproot her life for the second time in twenty-five months and I forget Valentine's Day. Maybe I'll have time to find something in the airport shops section; they have jewelers there, don't they?"

CJ looked at Danny and he looked back at her. Another silent conversation was taking place.

_He really needs something. _

_I don't know if I'll be able to find another one like it and I wanted to let you know how much you mean to me. _

_I know, and the fact that you gave it to me is more important than my actually having it; after all, don't they say it's the thought that counts?_

Danny got up, put his hand on CJ's jaw, and kissed her, then walked over to their bedroom. He came back with a black velvet box and a folded over Post-it note, which he handed to Sam. "Just send me a check when you get the chance."

_Earlier that same day._

_CJ woke to soft kisses on her jaw line and the tickle of his beard on her neck. "Happy Valentine's Day," he whispered in her ear._

_She opened her eyes, draped her arms around his neck, and kissed him fully on the mouth. They had long ago gotten over worrying about "morning breath" (although both of them made sure to brush and use mouthwash before going to bed every night.) "Happy Valentine's Day to you too." Then she sat up, reached over to the side of the bed, pulled a red bag with shredded red and white tissue from under the bed, and handed it to him._

_She had taken the letter informing him of his latest Pulitzer nomination, had a bronze engraved copy made from it, and had it mounted on an oak plaque. He kissed her and told her it was better than the prize itself; she said that she would expect him to retract the statement when he actually picked up the prize in May. No, he told her, even if by some chance he did win, the ceremony was on her due date and that from three weeks before that date until after the Minnow was born, he was going to be attached to her with a belaying rope like the ones rock climbers used. Then he reached into the nightstand drawer on his side of the bed and pulled out a long rectangular black velvet box._

_The bracelet consisted of one-inch square pieces of perfectly matched and polished malachite, joined together on each end by a tiny silver link. It matched the color of the "dressy" maternity dress that he had asked Hank to find for her as one of her Christmas presents._

_"Danny, I don't think I've ever seen anything so striking! I mean, the other stuff you've given me is all beautiful, but this is so different, so unusual! I love it! It will look so great tonight with the dress!" _

Sam opened the box. "CJ, I can't take this, Danny bought this for you."

"And that's the most important part. The thought, the effort, means so much more than actually having it. I'm sure you would have remembered, or Rina would have remembered for you, except for the funeral and all. You're about to ask her move across country again and to put herself into the fishbowl of being Second Lady of California; you can't go home empty-handed. Take it."

Sam kissed her cheek, gave Danny a bear hug. The cab horn sounded. They walked him to the door and made him promise to let them know how the conversation with Santos and Josh went. They said they would come up to Sacramento for his swearing in.

Danny said he would shower first, she should catch a catnap. After he dressed, he said he wanted to practice his reading for Mass some more, went into the den, and closed the door.

Since the parish deacon was part of the Mass, Danny did not have to carry in the Book of the Gospels. When it was time for him to read, he approached the ambo, looked down at the open Lectionary, and then up at the congregation.

"A reading from the book of Proverbs".

A good lector knows how to use pace and pause, stress and silence, to make the reading interesting without over-emoting. A good lector will go over his or her assigned reading enough that he or she has a good sense of the words and can proclaim without having to read every word from the Lectionary; a good lector learns how to glance down at the Lectionary with lowered eyes but not lowered head.

Danny had apparently memorized the selection chosen by the planning committee because he did not glance down once.

A good lector will alter his or her gaze, focusing on the eyes of people seated in various rows of the church – front, back, middle, left side, right side, center – to make each member of the congregation feel as if the lector is speaking to him or her directly.

Danny's gaze focused on CJ's face and never left it.

"_When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls. Her husband, entrusting his heart to her, has an unfailing prize. She brings him good, and not evil, all the days of her life._

_----_

_She reaches out her hands to the poor, and extends her arms to the needy._

_----_

_She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs at the days to come. She opens her mouth in wisdom, and on her tongue is kindly counsel._

_----_

_Her children rise up and praise her; her husband, too, extols her: _'_Many are the women of proven worth, but you have excelled them all.'_

_Charm is deceptive, and beauty, fleeting; the woman who fears the Lord is the one to be praised. Give her a reward of her labors, and let her works praise her at the city gates."_

"The Word of the Lord."

"Thanks be to God."

He returned to his place beside her. Diana Munoz had handed her some tissues and she was wiping her eyes. She reached for his hand, brought it to her lips.

When it came time for Communion, he stepped out and let her go first. When she approached the visiting priest with her hands extended, the man dropped the piece of the host back on the paten, raised his right hand, and, making a large Sign of the Cross over her abdomen, blessed the child she carried, and prayed for a safe pregnancy and delivery. He then picked up the host and placed it in her hands.

The meal was standard simple catering fare – a tossed salad with choice of three dressings, chicken breast stuffed with ham in a sauce, rice, green breans, cherry pie for dessert. The wine came in a three-liter box. The music was just a couple of pre-mixed dance music CD's rented from the local party store. But as one of the other couples at their table said, it was the thought, the fact that the parish wanted to provide a ministry to them and a night out for them, that counted.

The first time they really had to themselves was during the dancing after the dinner and the lecture. "I'd like to know how a supposedly celibate priest knows so much about sex," CJ commented. Some of the older couples in the parish were blushing as red as the decorations during the talk.

"Maybe he's like Tim; informed consent," Danny laughed.

"Maybe," she agreed. Then she reached up and kissed him, stared into his eyes. "Do you have any idea how wonderful you are?"

"No more than you, sweetheart."

Epilog

January 20, 2019

"I, Samuel Norman Seaborn, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

Excerpt from Inaugural address:

".. and I wish to extend special thanks to Claudia Jean and Daniel Concannon, who helped me on the path to this day and also for their example of what love can be. Without their example, I might not have the love of my First Lady; without her love, I could not serve this nation in the manner it deserves."

----------------------------------------------------

"The Vice-Presidency is not worth a bucket of warm spit".

John Nance Garner, Vice-President under Franklin Delano Roosevelt 1933-1941.


	32. Village People

**Village People**

CJ/Danny, Donna, Josh, mentions of Helen Santos

NC17, I guess

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Reviews, feedback and criticism always welcomed

My apologies to anyone named (or who has kids named) Torch or Periwinkle

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_April 25, 2009; Santa Monica CA; home of Frank and Diana Muñoz_

Frank Muñoz had just received notice of his promotion to full Colonel (he was assigned to the 61st Air Base Group at El Segundo) and the block was celebrating with an impromptu brunch.

Danny sat down on one of the kitchen counter barstools that had been pulled outside to the deck; he took a drink from his orange juice. He felt two arms come around his shoulders and felt a kiss on the top of his head. He took in a breath of her body wash, her shampoo. "My wife is a very jealous woman," he said. "You'd best be careful."

"Keep telling them that, Fishboy," CJ answered, moving her right hand to play with the curls by his left ear.

Danny tried to get up to give her the barstool, but she pushed him down. "I've been sitting for an hour, I need to stretch."

"Well, in that case, your right arm is a bit tight at my neck. Want some of my juice?" He held the glass up and back toward her.

"It's not a mimosa?" CJ asked.

"Nope. The helicopter will be at the Santa Monica field to take Donna to LAX and Mrs. Santos' plane in about an hour. I need to be sober for that. He looked over to where Donna was talking with their neighbor Jessica, Jessica's "almost 13" daughter Cindy, and Steve, one of the guys who lived on the other side of CJ and Danny. "It's funny that Jessica and Donna grew up in the same town, and that Jessica's husband's youngest sister was a classmate of Donna's," Danny said. "Just to look at the three of them, you'd think that the two of **them** were sisters, oldest and youngest of the family, there's about ten years between them, and Cindy could be Donna's niece."

"Well, they say all those mid-western farm girl types look alike. It's been nice having Donna here for the past few days. I'm glad that she can talk with Jessica so easily; I still feel a little uncomfortable. We only lost a few men in Kazakhstan, what were the chances that one of their widows would move in next to us?"

"Sweetheart, she doesn't blame you or the President; Rusty's heart could have given out at any time. It just happened over there. No one knew he had a heart valve problem."

"Yeah, but if it had happened here, maybe they could have saved him."

He sighed, kissed the forearms that crossed his chest. They had had this discussion before and it would take some time before he would be able to break down the sense of guilt she held.

She played with his hair again. She noticed a little more gray and wondered if that Grecian Formula stuff really worked. She didn't mind the gray, really, but she kind of missed the brighter red locks of almost ten years ago.

She sensed that he was a little down, and kissed the side of his head. "Honey, are you really okay with not getting the Pulitzer? You seem a little mopey."

"No, like I said, Katie really deserved it." However, his slightly morose tone indicated that something else was wrong.

She followed his gaze back to the three blondes and Steve and realized what was bothering him. She spoke softly into his ear. "Are you jealous that Cindy asked Steve to take her to the Girl Scout father-daughter dinner-dance instead of you?"

Steve ran his Certified Public Accountant/Chartered Financial Consultant practice from his and Hank's house; Danny did most of his writing, both the column and his books, from home also. The two of them were the _de facto_ "stay at home dads" for the block. They were always available to get the baseball from the gutter or the kite from the tree; to carry in the heavy package that the UPS guy left on the porch; to help with the water shut-off valve that wouldn't budge (and to get water from one house's outside spigot to that of the next using hoses and a double female connector until the leak could be fixed); to deal with the rip-off group that said "We just finished a driveway three blocks away and we'll blacktop yours for a good price"; to send home the bully that lived on the next block; and to handle the occasional kids' fight that really screamed "male authority figure needed". Danny could silence the whiniest little boy's "But, Mo-o-o-o-o-om-mm!" with a look that CJ knew only too well and Steve's stern but smiling "Was that really necessary?" had all the little girls (and a few of their moms) eating out of his hand.

She could feel his flush as he admitted, "Well, I guess maybe a little. I mean, I understand, look at him, the guy looks like Billy Dee Williams did in _'The Empire Strikes Back'_."

"Or _'Mahogany'_," she let out an unconscious sigh.

He swiveled around on the stool and looked at her.

"It was 1975! I was fifteen! Am I supposed to worry about your crush on Jodie Foster or Brooke Shie –".

"Judy Norton on '_The Waltons_'," he laughed. "For some reason, I liked Mary Ellen the best. Now that I think of it, she was kind of like you, feisty and rebellious, not wanting to do what every other girl was expected to do; the the first two episodes with her and Curt, maybe I was having premonitions, they were kind of like us. Everyone else thought Erin was the prettiest, but with my sister and all, it was too close to incest to fixate on her."

Danny stood up and walked her over to a glider on the other side of the deck; he had decided that CJ had been standing long enough.

"I wonder if Hank and Steve have ever thought about adopting or finding a surrogate?" she asked.

"Year after next," Danny answered. "They want to wait until they've been together for ten years, to be sure. They figure that having gay, interracial parents will be stress enough without adding divorce to the mix. But yeah, they'd love one of each. Hank can't wait to start making his daughter's clothes."

"One of each would be nice," she said softly.

He put his hand under her chin and turned her face to his, then put the hand on her stomach. "You'd be willing to go through this again?"

She could hear the hope in his voice. "Well, not right away," she replied, "I mean, I feel as if I've been pregnant forever, and it's been almost two years, but maybe after two, two and a half years, assuming we don't totally suck as parents, and that the Minnow doesn't totally suck at being a kid, I could go off the pill again and we can see what happens. The three or four year spacing seems to work well for Frank and Diana." She gave him a small smile. "I've been afraid to talk about it, you know, Toby's incurring the wrath from on high atop the thing."

"I know all about not tempting fate. CJ, we're not getting any younger, maybe we won't be lucky –".

"My mother didn't hit menopause until she was 56, I think we still have ti- "

"And I can't promise you the next one I make will be the opposite of this one."

"If we end up with two of a kind, we can adopt," she answered.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

They sat there smiling at each other for a few seconds; then he looked at his watch. "Better go get the First Lady's Chief of Staff to the airport."

They walked over to Donna. "Do you want me to go with you, Danny?"

"Stay here, I'll be back as soon as the chopper takes off."

"Danny, you don't have to leave the party," Donna said. "I can take a cab."

Before Danny could open his mouth, CJ told her, laughingly, "Oh, Donna, please don't get him started."

The willowy (well, except for the stomach that stuck out a good eight inches) blonde said her good-byes, congratulated Frank again on her own behalf and that of the Administration.

CJ grabbed another glass of juice, some strawberries, and half a bagel and sat down at a table with Yan Wei. When Yan got up to go to the bathroom, CJ held out her arms for Mei-Ling and thought about how much she had enjoyed the last few days with Donna. They caught up on each other's lives, talked about their joys and apprehensions concerning impending motherhood. Donna admired CJ for wearing her "Pillsbury" shirt in public and confessed that she only wore hers as a nightshirt. Then Donna met Jessica and the two of them caught up on hometown news.

The Girl Scout dinner-dance had been last night. Most of the block was outside when Steve, debonair to the max in his white dinner jacket and carrying a corsage box, went to Jessica and Cindy's house, and then escorted Cindy to his Mercedes convertible. The girl seemed to float three inches off the ground and her eyes never left Steve's face. Eleven-year old Carmen Muñoz, with her father looking very handsome and distinguished in his Air Force formal uniform ("the official term is 'mess dress'," he told them), joined them. As they drove away, Jessica said that it was the happiest Cindy had been since her father left for Asia, and started to cry. Donna put her arm around the woman and took her into her house.

The Wei's, with Mei-Ling in her stroller, decided to walk down to the pier for frozen custard and Diana's two sons pestered her, saying they wanted to go also. Taking in Diana's tired face and her "due any day now" body, Hank and Danny volunteered to take the boys and off they went, seven-year old Mike holding Hank's hand and three-year old Stevie riding Danny's shoulders.

Donna came out of Jessica's house. "She's okay; she just wants to be left alone with her memories. She says she'll never marry again, that she and Rusty fell in love in 10th grade and stayed together through the rest of high school and all the time he was at West Point and she was at Wisconsin, and no one could ever take his place."

The three of them entered CJ and Danny's house, went into the courtyard. "Why don't we get in the hot tub?" CJ suggested. "Diana, I can lend you a suit." With her pregnancy, they kept the hot tub about 15 degrees cooler than they usually did and as long as they didn't turn on the jets, their doctors had no problem with it.

They sat in the warm water, drinking ginger ale, discussing their pregnancies. Diana dispensed advice based on her previous three births. ("Screw political correctness - molded foam plates and cups, plastic silver, pre-packaged meals - that's the way to go. Send the laundry to the "wash and fold". Dustballs are your new best friends. A messy bathroom will not bring about the end of the free world as we know it. Take every advantage of his gratitude for the kid. And if God wanted your clothing to be coordinated, She wouldn't have invented color, stripes, checks, and patterns.")

"You people really have the 'village' here, don't you?" Donna said. "On this block, you all look out for each other, take care of each other. This is the kind of thing we should be promoting. Would it be okay to bring Helen, I mean the First Lady, by sometime? I think she'd be interested in seeing it at work in the real world."

"You need to be careful," CJ warned. "The right-wing conservatives will be all over you. The last time a First Lady put forth the idea that 'It Takes a Village', they reacted as if she had said 'Kill your same sex parent and have intercourse with your opposite sex parent.' It wasn't pretty."

"Actually," Diana chimed in, "the way some of them are, their book title would be _'It Takes Our Village's Morals to Raise Everyone Else's Children'_."

They were still there talking when Danny came back. At the site of three very pregnant women sitting in the sunken tub, he went into male protector overdrive.

"If one of you had slipped on the steps, there was no one here to help, the other two of you couldn't have dealt with it," he sputtered, helping each of them out of the tub. When CJ mentioned that when he said something about it last November, the only thing he asked was that she not use it when she was in the house alone, he tried to guilt her by saying that she should have known what he meant.

"Danny, isn't that why you put in the railing?" Donna asked, somewhat amused.

"Donna, you still could have fallen."

"And if I had, it would have been my own fault. You're not my father, Danny!"

He looked at Donna with one of his direct stares and quietly told her, "When you are in my house and in my care, I am responsible to Josh for your safety."

Then he handed each of them towels and walked to the bedroom, muttering to himself about how their hormones must be making them this way, that they probably just wiped out a good hundred years of his time in Purgatory with what they put him through, and that for two cents, he'd spank the lot of them.

As soon as they heard the bathroom door close, the three of them let out the giggles they had been swallowing.

"Frank gets that way, too," Diana said. "I suppose it's kind of sweet, in its own way."

"I've got Josh convinced that I know more about it than he could ever possibly know and Helen backs me up," Donna added. "If he got that way, he'd be dead before the baby's born."

They went off to change and Danny walked Diana back to her house where Hank was waiting on the deck with Stevie asleep on the glider and Mike trying very hard to keep his eyes open.

Her reverie on the deck was broken by clamor and shouting. Diana's water had broken and she and Frank were heading for the hospital. The rest of them put away the leftover food, cleaned the tables, swept the deck. CJ volunteered to take the first couple of hours with the Muñoz kids and as the rest of the block left, she called Danny to let him know where she was and why.

She was taking the first load of things out of the dishwasher when Danny knocked on the kitchen door.

They loaded the dishwasher again and went to the family room where the kids were watching a video (the umpteenth "special release" version of _"Lady and the Tramp"_).

"This is a big day for you, Stevie." Danny picked up the youngster and gave him a pony ride. "You'll have little Maggie to boss around. You're no longer the baby."

The little boy reached over and touched CJ's stomach. "Wha's baby name?" he asked.

"We don't know yet, sweetie, we decided to wait to find out whether it's a boy or a girl."

"I think you should call your baby Torch or Periwinkle." Carmen mentioned the names of the latest tweeny-bopper male and female heartthrobs.

"Nope. They don't pass the 'President, Nobel, Cardinal' test," Danny told her. At her questioning look, he continued. "You're supposed to try out the name to see how it sounds if the kid becomes really important. 'I, Torch Concannon, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute' doesn't cut it; neither does 'Nobel Peace Prize winner Periwinkle Concannon'. Now, you," he stroked the girl's hair, "are a winner. I, Carmen Antonia – "

"An-to-NEE-ya," she corrected his pronunciation.

"'I, Carmen Antonia Muñoz, do solemnly swear' – that has class. So does 'Nobel Peace Prize winner Miguel Diego Muñoz' and 'Esteban Ramón Cardinal Muñoz, Archbishop of Los Angeles'," he high-fived the older boy and tickled the younger one.

Frank called; things were going well at the hospital. It was their fourth time; they were used to it. He and Diana were playing Scrabble between the contractions.

CJ made hot dogs, macaroni and cheese, and carrot sticks for the kids. She fixed Stevie's plate to look like Pac-man, shaping the mac and cheese into a circle with an open mouth, outlining it with the carrot sticks, cutting up the hot dog into little circles and putting them around the plate, saving one for the eye.

Watching the kids eat, Danny came up behind her and said that he was pretty sure they wouldn't totally suck as parents.

At 5:00 PM, Billy Rogers came by to take the next shift. Sally was out of town visiting her sister; he could spend the night if necessary.

As soon as they got home, CJ took off her shorts and bra and got into bed. Danny tried to watch some golf, but soon gave up, stripped down to his boxers and joined her in sleep.

_About the same time; Washington DC; Lyman residence master bedroom_

Donna was unpacking, telling Josh about the days she spent in Santa Monica, mentioning things as she remembered them rather than in any thing resembling chronological order.

She told him about how everyone on the block looked out for each other. She told him how Danny took her to the airport, insisted on inspecting the badges of the Secret Service agents before letting her go with them, how he waited until the helicopter took off for LAX before leaving. She told him about how happy the two little girls looked when they drove off with their father and father-substitute and how she imagined Josh enjoying such an event if they had a daughter. She told him about Jessica and how much she missed her husband.

Then she told him about how funny Danny was about the three of them in the hot tub. She told him what Danny said about his being answerable to Josh for her safety. "He was so funny," she said, "he kept muttering about how he should line up the three of us by the kitchen counter and just go down the line, swatting our asses, like he was some school teacher in a 1930's movie. We could barely hold in the gig – OUCH!" she shrieked as the palm of his hand made contact with her backside. "Joshua!"

He put his arms around her waist, smiled what she could only describe as his "Josh smile" and said, "Danny has a good head on his shoulders; I respect Danny's opinion. If he says my wife deserves to get her butt smacked, she's gonna get her butt smacked." He hugged her tightly, kissed her. "I did miss you, worry about you. I'm glad you're back safe."

"Do that again, you'll be in the hospital and they'll be calling me the White House Lorena Bobbitt." She kissed him back, then sniffed at her shoulder when he saw his face. The effects of travel were obvious. "I'm going to shower. Then I want barbeque."

When he heard the shower running, he picked up his phone and started searching.

_Santa Monica, CA_

Danny was having a mildly erotic dream when he suddenly woke up. Two seconds later, his cell rang and he answered it quickly, softly. "This is Danny". Pause. "Hey, Josh, did Donna get back okay?" Pause. "CJ's sleeping, I'm trying not to wake her". He got out of bed walked toward the empty nursery, keeping his voice down. "No problem, man. I know you'd do the same for me if the situation were reversed." Pause. "Yeah, well, tell you what. Next time she's there, I'll tell her you'll be acting, what's the Latin for husband? _maritus_, I think, you'll be acting _in loco maritio_, we'd need to check with our man in New Hampshire for the right case." Pause. He became aware of his discomfort, glanced down at his groin. "Hey, Josh, bit of advice from experience, take advantage of this time now, 'cause when you're in the home stretch like we are, there are things you really miss –" Pause. "Yeah, you, too."

_Washington, DC_

The phone he called was answered in a whisper. "Hey, Danny, it's Josh." Pause. "Yes, she did. Why the whispers?" Pause. "Understood. Hey, thanks for everything, for being so protective of my lady." Pause. "Well, I'd try, but, you know, your wife is well aware that for seven years, I was damned afraid of her. I don't know if I'd have the same effect on her as you did on Donna." Pause. "Yeah, Bartlet would know." Pause. "Well, I hope the next couple of months pass quickly for you. Look, take care of yourself and CJ. Goodnight."

Donna came out of the shower, taking off the towel she had used to keep her hair from getting wet and reached into a drawer for a nightgown.

"You won't need that," Josh told her as he pulled her onto the bed, turning her away from him on her side, positioning her upper leg where he wanted it.

"What do you think you're doing?" she giggled.

He came up close behind her, hand on her belly but trailing toward another place, kissed her neck.

"Just taking some more of Danny's advice."

_Santa Monica, CA_

Danny returned to the bedroom to see CJ sitting up on their bed.

Taking in his condition, she got up, went to him, slipped off his boxers, led him to one of the easy chairs, knelt at his feet. When he began to make a mild protest, she told him the same thing she did on that January day in San Diego over two years ago, "Let me take care of you, Danny. Let me do this for you." And she did what she had done that night, what had become a monthly ritual before she got pregnant, what she had done every time her cycle came round. Only this time, rather than it being because she was incapacitated due to infertility, she did it because she was indeed fertile, blooming with his child.

When she was done, he lifted her from the floor, gently pulled her to their bed. "Your turn," he whispered. And as he had done on that day when she told Matt Santos that she was choosing a wordsmith over a president, that day when flesh first touched flesh without a latex barrier and flesh was too fast, he again caused her to dance on his hand and on his mouth.

Night fell on that little village comprised of one block on one street in one town. One family celebrated the safe passage of life from womb to outside world and another family waited for their child's time. A third counted the months until they felt secure enough in their love, secure enough to fight prejudice against color and preference, to add new life to their family. A fourth one mourned the husband and father taken too soon, the life removed from family too cruelly. And all the families of the village bonded together, to celebrate, to encourage, to mourn, and to support each other.


	33. Baby Boy C

**Baby Boy C**

CJ/Danny, mentions of others

PG-rated .

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul.

Reviews, feedback and criticism welcomed.

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Early June 2009

Danny Concannon opened his eyes and looked at the clock; it was a little after 7:15 in the morning.

He had only had a few hours' sleep; Billy and Sally Rogers had finally managed to drag him away from the hospital at 2:00 AM, leaving a sleeping CJ, an exhausted Scott, and two hours old, brown-haired Padraic Talmadge Concannon, all seven pounds, three ounces and 17 inches of him, to the care of the maternity ward personnel at UCLA Medical Center. When he got home, he called Erin and gave her the wonderful news. She and Fiona would be arriving the day after tomorrow to help; Scott wanted to keep CJ in the hospital for two more days after today and the Hollis Foundation HMO approved the extra time. It was too early to call anyone else, so he lay in bed for about an hour before winding down. He finally dozed off just after 4:00 AM, sleepily realizing that he could start making calls to the east coast if he had the energy, but he just didn't have it at that point.

It all started about 3:30 yesterday afternoon.

It had already been an eventful day on the block. Earlier that morning, Jessica's purse had been stolen as she was transferring groceries to her car at the local Ralph's. CJ and Diana (with one-month old Maggie) were sitting with Jessica on her front porch. Danny was talking with the locksmith who had just finished rekeying the locks in the house, to get extra copies of the new keys (Hank and Steve, Frank and Diana, and he and CJ all had keys to Jessica's house). He then went to talk with Joel Feldman; he was sitting with his laptop on his front porch across the street from Billy and Sally's house at the end of the block. Joel, who worked in the budget office at UCLA, had arranged with his manager to work from home for the next few days. They had decided it might be good to have an extra male presence around, especially since CJ was two days' overdue and, with any luck, Danny might have to be somewhere else soon. Everyone else would be on the lookout for strange people or cars, and the kids would be supervised a little more closely.

Cindy and Carmen came up the walk; Steve was between them, an arm on their shoulders. The scratches on their arms, the tousled clothing, and the guilty faces indicated that all was not well between the two girls.

Diana handed her younger daughter to her older one. "Put Maggie in her crib and sit with her; I'll be home in a couple of minutes."

As Carmen was walking away, Cindy shouted out, "Anyone who likes Torch McAllister is still a little baby herself!"

Steve put his hand under her chin, lifted her head. "Cynthia, was that really necessary?"

The girl blushed and Steve turned her away and gently pushed her toward the front door. He faced the women and explained that one of the older boys had come to him and asked him to "handle the cat fight". He flashed his brilliant smile. "I told them three hours in solitary, but you're the moms." Then he looked at Jessica. "Hank will be over around dark." Hank and Steve were going to take turns sleeping on Jessica's couch for a few nights "just in case".

The women stood up, Diana and Jessica preparing to go deal with their respective daughters, CJ to join Danny at Joel and Hannah's place. The three women watched Steve walk away. As soon as he was out of earshot, Diana said, "This isn't at all politically correct, but _Madre de Dios_, what a waste of maleness! Just like Father Niko." She mentioned the young, newly ordained priest from Italy who was serving as their associate pastor while pursuing graduate studies at Loyola Marymount.

"Diana, you're as bad as the girls in the teen club!" CJ started to laugh, but the sound quickly turned to a cry of pain and she sat down quickly. Diana asked her a couple of questions ("Did the pain start in front or in back? How long did it last?") and told her to go home and start timing the pains, but it sure sounded like showtime to her.

She and Danny tried to relax and watch a video. Afraid of tempting fate and remembering last year, they decided not to call or tell anyone other than the neighbors. When, just before 6:00 PM, it became obvious that she was having steady contractions about twenty minutes apart, they called Scott's office; he decided he wanted her at the hospital sooner rather than later. The Rogers', armed with a laptop, a mini-TV for Billy, and Diana Gabaldon's latest volume for Sally, followed in their car, so there would be someone at the hospital for Danny.

The labor was long but uneventful. CJ spouted out the usual threats and curses at Danny, made the usual promises to join the convent before undergoing this again, but just after midnight, he cut the cord that had bound his son to his wife's body and watched as the neonatal team cleaned him, performed the initial Apgar tests, and banded the baby's arm, as well as CJ's and his, with the security bracelets that would identify them as family until the three of them left the hospital. He moved to CJ's side but she too did not take her eyes from the team around their son as Scott and the delivery team finished their work on her body. Then the nurse brought their child to them and placed him in CJ's arms. They had a healthy little boy. They looked at each other and combined smiles with tears of relief.

After a few minutes, the neonatal team took the baby again, performed the second set of tests; all was well. They would take him to the nursery, get weight and height, hand and foot prints. CJ, already nodding off, was being taken to her room. After the support staff helped her to bed, helped her clean up a little, he could come to the room and they would bring in the baby. They would have some time to get acquainted, to take pictures. The staff suggested that Danny too might want to visit the men's room, wash his face, and comb his hair.

He stopped on the way to tell Billy and Sally. When he told them they should go on home, they refused, said he was riding an adrenaline high and probably shouldn't drive himself. They would wait.

Someone had sponge-bathed his wife, given her a clean gown, and combed her hair, but she was a far cry from the consummate press secretary, the stunning bride, the professional project director, or the erotic bedmate he knew. No matter, she was the most beautiful, the most amazing, the most wonderful woman in the world and he told her so.

A little later, a nurse wheeled in a bassinet with their son, the little blue hat and blanket declaring his sex to the world. Danny took picture after picture; CJ asked the nurse to take some of the three of them. They talked to him. (" Hi, Paddy, I'm your mama. This is your dad. Welcome to the world, Padraic Talmadge Concannon. One day, we'll tell you about the grandfathers for whom you were named, but right now, we're just so glad you're here.") They uncovered him, checking the ten little perfect fingers and ten little perfect toes, the tiny ears, marveling at the miniature genitalia.

"One day, he's gonna do good work like his Daddy does," CJ said.

"If he finds someone as good as his Mama."

When they came to take him back to the nursery, Danny just sat there holding CJ's hand until she gave in to her exhaustion. Then he went to the nursery window, where Billy and Sally were waiting. He heard Sally whisper to her husband, "Make me one of those sometime soon."

As the Rogers' had predicted, he began to get giddy, and when they asked for his keys, he handed them to Sally without protest. She drove him home, and she and Billy waited for him to get into the house before driving up the block to their place.

And now it was morning, his first day as a father. He called CJ's brothers, told her sisters-in-law that Erin was coming, that they didn't need any extra help just yet, maybe next month. He called New Hampshire, gave the good news to Abbey. The next call was to the White House; Carol would start the information flow. He told everyone he would email pictures as soon as he got a shower and some coffee.

By the time he got out of the shower, there were at least 15 messages on the phone and a good 30 emails on his laptop. He had just finished downloading the pictures, picking out two of Paddy, one of CJ with the baby, and one of the three of them, and emailing them, with pertinent details, to a list of at least 50 names when Hank and Steve came in with a pot of coffee and a box of doughnuts. They copied the pictures to a thumb drive and Steve would print them for the neighbors to see.

He called Nancy and told her to spread the word to Franklin and Sarita and to Glen Walken. (Bonnie and Jean-Luc were on their honeymoon. It nearly broke CJ's heart that they weren't able to travel to Indiana for the wedding, but Bonnie understood). It was almost 8:30. He wanted to get back to the hospital, but first he had to call the florist and stop at the bank, which would open at 9:00. Oh, and don't forget the little bag on top of the nursery dresser. As he left the house, he saw that someone had already put up a big blue "It's a boy!" yard sign.

Danny opened the safety deposit drawer and removed its contents. When he had stored the box a little over a year ago, it had been with such sadness. "Maybe for her birthday, or Christmas," he had thought. But by the time those events came, there was new hope and so he had waited for this day to come.

He walked, no, Danny almost skipped down the hall toward the hospital nursery. Turning the corner, he stopped short. There was a gap where there should be a bassinet with blue balloons and a card proclaiming that the newborn was "Baby Boy C". The charge nurse must have noticed his panic because she immediately told him that the baby was in with CJ. The man who was making "Hey, there!" sounds at "Baby Girl H" (Danny understood all the reasoning behind it, but damn it, **HIPAA** was sure taking the fun out of some things) smiled and said, "Don't worry, he was doing fine. I should know, she's number six for me."

Heart once again as light as his footsteps, he continued in the same direction toward the patient rooms. He approached the room he wanted and saw another nurse leaving it. As she passed him, she smiled and he thought that the slightly pregnant Hispanic woman looked vaguely familiar, but then realized that most of the people in the maternity ward looked familiar to him. All those blue scrubs, he guessed.

Opening the door quietly, he slipped into the room and for the second time in two minutes, he again stopped short. This time it was with a wave of joy that hit him with the force of a rip tide. His wife was sitting by the window; the morning sun streaming in was turning her into gold. He was reminded of the wintry Saturday morning almost two and a half years ago. The sun had bronzed her in a similar manner as she straddled him and he reached up to caress her breast. This time the hand reaching for the breast belonged to the baby who was nursing at it. He had the camera in his pocket, but this was one picture he would take only with his eyes. As he stood there, it was as if the image was burned on the wall behind his retina and then transferred to the hard drive of his brain. He fought hard to hold back tears. They had waited long, twice as long, really, for this child, the second nine months tinged with more than a little bit of anxiousness. "When the time is right, we'll tell him about you guys," he thought to his two angels in heaven. He noticed that his flowers had arrived. He had asked for the same burgundy red tiger lilies that she carried and wore in her hair on their wedding day and he said he would pay extra to have them delivered as soon as possible.

He must have made some noise, because she looked at him. Over the past 10 years, he had learned that just as soon as he thought he had seen every possible expression cross her face, she would surprise him with another one; today was no different. She gave him a smile that made her seem at once older than time and younger than the daylilies that bloomed just once along their courtyard wall. He walked over and took the chair opposite her. "Wow," he said softly. "Just – wow." A few seconds later, the infant let go; she turned him over across her lap and made soft circling pats on his back until he burped. Then she picked up the baby, crooned, "Okay, go to Daddy for a little bit", handed him to Danny and tied the laces on her gown. CJ spoke her first words to him. "Good morning. Thank you for my flowers".

Still holding their son, he looked at her and said "Oh, Jeanie, that was just so, so – wow!"

"Is that all that the two-time Pulitzer prize-winning author can find to say?" she teased.

"No," was the reply. He kissed his son gently, put the baby in the bassinet, stood up and came to her. "I can also say 'Thank you'." Bending down, he kissed her and, slipping a small box into her hand, he said, "Thank you for being you. Thank you for loving me, for marrying me, for giving me my son."

"Danny!" she gasped, opening the box. If it wasn't the exact ring she had admired almost three years ago, it was its long lost twin sister. He took it out of the box and slipped it on her finger. It was a little tight; the swelling had not yet completely subsided. "This is amazing". She reached up to kiss him.

"Not one-hundredth as amazing as what you have given me."

"What we've given each other," she corrected him. An impish look invaded her eyes. "I know that yesterday I said some pretty threatening things about what I would do to you if you touched me again, but if this is the reward, go lock the door, jump on the bed, and let's get started on number two!"

"I don't think the door locks. And I think we better wait just a bit." He had noticed her squirming a little in the chair. She was obviously still very sore from the birth. "Do you want to get back into bed?"

"Not just yet. Let's just sit here with our baby. Danny, this ring, it's so beautiful."

"In August, when we go up to New Hampshire for the library dedication, I want them all to know how much you mean to me. Listen, Mark has offered us the use of part of his place in Rehoboth for the week after. What do you think? There're three bedrooms, maybe Aisling could come over, Hogan could get leave, and they could help us out for some of the time so we could go out to dinner, walk the boardwalk, that sort of thing. Or we could get someone there. The timing would be right," he said, suddenly shy.

She blushed a little. Then she said, "Let's see how this," she waved a hand in the air over her breasts, "works out". They had talked about what nursing would mean to the baby, to the two of them and their relationship, with Frank and Diana, with Scott, and with Linda Tallchief, Paddy's pediatrician. "You can always stop, but it's next to impossible to start later," Scott told them.

"Lupé will be coming out to the house in a few days and she reiterated that I didn't have to make up my mind now; that if I had to, I could stop at any time, they would give me the same drugs they gave me last year", a small bit of sadness clouded her eyes. "There's stuff to consider, with the foundation and all, but we could go into that in a few days." Then it was Lupé this and Lupé that and Lupé on the other hand.

Finally he asked, "And Lupé is?"

"Maria Guadalupé, the lactation coach. I thought you met her on the way in; she left just before you got here. Latina, about my age, 4 months pregnant with her third, knows it's a boy, her first, her father-in-law is all excited, and kid'll be the 10th generation in the family, old Californios from the mission era."

"She looked familiar but we didn't talk." He handed her the bag. "Can we put this on him and take another picture?"

She pulled out the little "Fighting Irish" onesie. "Only if you go home at lunch and bring back the Cal Bears one also."

More flowers came: roses from the Bartlets; a beautiful calla lily plant from Josh and Donna; deep, deep purple tulips from Hank and Steve; gerberas from the Hollis'; sunflowers from Frank and Diana; orchids from the Seaborne; irises from the Wei's; carnations from Billy and Sally; the simplest and yet most amazingly beautiful bird of paradise from Toby; dahlias from the White House; a wildflower arrangement from Glen Walken; hydrangeas from Nancy; daisies from Jessica and Cindy. The flowers kept coming, from Margaret (amaryllis), from Carol (hibiscus), from Ginger and her husband (more roses). Charley and Zoey sent freesias. CJ's older brother sent a hyacinth plant and the younger one sent daffodils.

"So many of these are out of season!" CJ exclaimed. Suddenly sleepy, she yawned and he helped her to the bed.

Then he pulled a chair closer to the bed, wheeled the bassinet with "Baby Boy C" next to the chair and sat there, with one hand holding his wife's hand, the other one in the bassinet, stroking the hair of his son. More flowers came from the other neighbors, from Mark and Katie and the other members of the Press Corps, from Tim and the other guys from Notre Dame, from so many people.

"Honey," she yawned again, "we should make a note of who sent what and have some of them given to folks who don't have any; or put some in the chapel."

He told her he'd start on that in a little bit. They should keep the ones from the neighbors who might come to visit. She said she'd trust him to make the right decisions and then she nodded off to sleep.

Some months ago, when gathering information for Leo's book (which was in final proofing this week), he and Jed Bartlet had talked about hope and despair and how it had played a part in both their lives; the man had told him in deepest confidence, how, in the depths of anger, he had railed at God.

Quietly, so as not to disturb his slumbering family, Danny began to weep and whispered with complete sincerity the words the former president had used in complete sarcasm, _"Gratias tibi ago, Domine"._


	34. The Summer of our Son

**The Summer of our Son**

CJ/Danny, West Wing ensemble

Very mature rating for frank sexual content; if you aren't old enough to be registered to vote in the US, please contact me for a PG version

Spoilers – through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

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August 2009 Manchester, NH

"Damn, damn, and double damn!" CJ walked around the motel room. The two-month old in her arms began to cry. "Oh, no, not you, Paddy," she crooned, "Mama's not mad at you. She's mad at herself and she's mad at your Daddy and she's mad at whatever is high atop Uncle Toby's thing, but she's not mad at you." She hoped the walking and crooning would quiet him; she really needed to wait to closer to the time to leave for the library to feed him.

It started out all too perfect. Glenallen Walken was flying on a Hollis Foundation jet from San Luis Obispo to Finland to talk with Nokia. The company had developed new satellite telephone equipment, technology, and infrastructure and offered to let "Road to a Better World" beta-test it on several of their road-building projects. On the way, he was going to stop in New Hampshire for the day of the dedication of the Josiah Edward Barlet Library. Would CJ, Danny, and Paddy like to fly with him? They would have to pay the foundation the equivalent of super-saver coach fares, but they would have all the advantages of a private jet.

The flight across country had been trouble-free. They left from the Van Nuys airfield at 4:00 in the morning. There was a small bedroom where CJ could nurse the baby and where the two of them could rest. In addition to themselves and Glen, there were two climatologists from McGill University on the plane and right now the plane was on its way to Montreal to return them to Canada. In addition to the two men, the plane was crossing into Canada with the garment bag that held Danny's good summer-weight suit and her summer dress suit with the three extra coordinated jackets (in case she sprang a leak.)

The garment bag that did make it off the plane held Danny's sport jacket, a coordinated pair of slacks, shirt, and tie, and a pantsuit for her, but she had put on the outfit too soon and it was milk-stained all down the left side of the jacket.

So here she was in Katie's hotel room, waiting for the nurse's aide that Abbey Bartlet had hired to watch Paddy during the dedication and waiting for Katie and Danny to come back with something that she could wear to the ceremony. Thank God for Katie letting them use her room today.

After the ceremony, they, along with several other Bartlet staffers, would spend two nights at the Bartlet farm. She and Danny were lucky; with their newborn, they would get a bedroom, as would Josh and ready to pop at any minute Donna. Many of the others would be in tents and in the barn. Actually, it they didn't have Paddy, it might be kind of fun for two nights, sleeping dormitory-style segregated by sex, finding little corners in out-buildings for couple stuff; it would be like _"The Big Chill"_ with a lot more people.

Her cell rang and she juggled the now quiet baby into one arm in order to answer it. Ellie Bartlet Faison was on the line. Her mother had been called down to Boston for a cardiac emergency at Brigham and Women's Hospital; she would be back in time for the ceremony but in the meantime, there was a slight mix-up. The nurse's aide would meet them at the library. One of the private rooms had been set up for her. The nurse would be able to stay with the baby there until everyone went to the farm. CJ would be able to pump when she needed to and there was a portable electric ice chest. Aisling MacDonald had already arrived at the farm; she would drive down with them to Delaware in the behemoth Danny rented (CJ kept singing the Capitol Steps parody "God Bless my SUV" – "I'm proud to be an American, who gets just five em-pee-gee, I live alone, but this bus I own, can seat one hundred three.")

Danny was a little concerned about Aisling sharing a tent with the likes of Margaret, Carol, Zoey, and Debbie, but Erin had no worries. According to her, her younger daughter was much more mature than her older one, which is why she brought Fee with her in June. ("According to Robin's great-aunt Sorcha, Ash has an 'old soul' in a young body.") Last year, the MacDonald's had hosted an exchange student from Concord, and Aisling had been visiting with her and her family for a week. According to Ellie, they were very impressed with the whole secret service thing when they dropped off Ash this morning.

Two things had helped CJ, Danny, and the baby get through the first month without one or more of them ending up dead.

First of all - Erin. If it weren't for Erin, they probably wouldn't have survived that first month.

A fair piece of the first month after Paddy's birth was a blur to her. She was nursing him every two hours at first, and when she wasn't, she was mostly sleeping. Scott told Danny that there were only two other things he wanted her to do: Danny was to make her shower every morning right after one of the feedings and he was to make her take a walk around the neighborhood every early evening, starting with 10 minutes and working her way up to 25 or 30.

Erin kept herself on European time ("It will be easier for me, too, I won't have to adjust") and took care of bringing Paddy to CJ, changing him, doing some light housework and laundry for the midnight to morning shift. She told her "baby brother" that just because CJ couldn't get a full eight hours' sleep didn't mean he had to be on the same schedule and made him spend about six hours per night in one of the other bedrooms. He could spend time with his wife during her naps if he wished, but if he was going to be a productive part of "Team Paddy" as well as write his columns, he needed his rest as well.

The second thing that helped tremendously was the travel plans of the parish's teen club. The group was planning a trip to the next International Youth Conference with the pope and, for the entirely reasonable sum of $1,000 per couple, the young women would provide both the Concannons and the Muñoz' with in-home child care from noon to 8:00 pm, seven days a week, for ten weeks. This gave Erin time to sleep and Danny time to work.

She remembered when Father Niko explained the plans to them about two weeks before Diana was due. The young ladies would work out the schedules themselves. For the most part, there would be two four-hour shifts per day. The girls would be responsible for covering any emergency changes themselves, but she or Danny could always call him or Sandy, the youth minister, if there was a problem. The girls had received basic training from one of the parish nurses.

Danny wanted to make sure that the girls would not have friends, particularly boy friends, with them when they were on duty. He wanted nothing to distract them from taking care of CJ and Paddy.

The priest discussed the situation with him, using the somewhat stilted words of one who learned English as a second language. "But of course, Dan-nee, there will be no one when the girls are on duty. However, some of these young men are quite protective of their young women friends, and, especially in the case of those who will be leaving your home in the evening, may wish to escort them home. Would it be permissible for them to call for the young ladies at the end of their hours?"

CJ started laughing. "Hoist on your own petard, Fishboy," she said.

Danny flushed red and told the young priest that he had no objections to a guy wishing to see a girl home safely.

As it turned out, when the guys would come by to pick up the girls, they would end up talking with Danny. Often, he would be rocking, playing with, or even diapering his son and some of the young men, seeing him in a nurturing role, became interested themselves and asked Father Niko if they could be included in future training and future assignments.

Her time that month was not spent entirely on feeding her son and sleeping. She did bathe him periodically, change him, and rock him. And there were two special days those first few weeks.

On the morning of June 21, she finished the first feeding of the day and asked Danny to take Paddy. "Would you check his diaper, honey?"

Danny put his hand against his son's bottom and felt a peculiar lump in the diaper. Reaching inside, he found a hard round object wrapped in a soft cloth inside a Ziploc freezer bag. He opened it to find a vermeil pocket watch engraved with the date and the words

_"Happy Father's Day, Daddy_

_Love, Paddy"._

On the inside cover was a picture of the two of them, in profile, Danny's lips on his son's forehead. Hank had found it for her, taken care of the engraving.

His baptism took place on the Sunday of Independence Day weekend. Hogan was his godmother, Robin his godfather. After Father Niko lowered him up to his neck in the warm baptistery, poured the water over his head, and anointed him, CJ dressed him in the same lace robe worn by his cousins Fiona and Aisling.

After a month, the time between feedings had lengthened to two and a half hours. Also, she was able to pump enough milk to cover one feeding. This allowed her the utter luxury of sleeping for five hours once a day. CJ's sisters-in-law each came for two weeks and while they weren't on European time, Danny was also able to get six hours' sleep at one time.

Lupé told her to sleep in Danny's T-shirts and then have him wear them when he fed Paddy (he volunteered to take the 3:00 AM feeding.) After three weeks, the baby was used to Danny's smell and took the bottle from him as well as he took CJ's breast and now the time between feedings was almost three hours.

Katie and Danny returned from their mission.

"It's early August, it's technically mid-summer," Danny grumbled, "so why is every store filled with heavy clothes, woolen clothes, long sleeved things?"

Katie handed her a dress bag. "This is the best we could do for your size, CJ."

It wasn't a bad dress. It was a dark green cotton-linen blend with a slight flare to the skirt and the color looked okay on her. Her heels would match. When she tried it on, she had only the slightest little pooch in her stomach and that only from a certain angle. (She had only gained 30 pounds over the course of the pregnancy; 14 came off with Paddy and she'd lost another six over the past two months). She had two white cotton piqué bolero style jackets in case she leaked through the heavy-duty nursing bra she was wearing and which she would line with some super absorbent micro fiber pads. If only it were a two piece that opened down the front instead of a sleeveless sheath with a back zipper.

"I'll have to undress to feed him and I'll need help with the zipper."

"I'm sure you'll have plenty of volunteers among the womenfolk. We picked up this at the Wal-Mart," Danny handed her another bag. It contained a "housecoat" that had snaps down the front. It was a loud yellow and pink patterned thing, something she'd never pick out for herself, but it would help.

Katie was leaving for the press briefing; she told them to make sure the room was locked when they left.

Danny played with his son while CJ ironed the dress and touched up the shirt that Danny would be wearing. He would have looked so nice in the suit. But the dark slacks and grey sport coat did look good on him also; it was just a tad too casual for the event.

She fed Paddy while Danny showered (his smile and a twenty-dollar bill got them some extra sets of towels from the chambermaid), pumped the excess into the partially filled bottle in the portable plug-in cooler. She now had two full bottles. Paddy needed changing so she took care of him and then made sure that the things they would take into the library (his diaper bag complete with several changes of clothes, her portable hand pump, extra pads and an extra nursing bra, the sweaters) were in good order.

She showered, did her hair, dressed, and then while Danny was putting their things back in the SUV, she neatened up Katie's room as much as possible. Ellie called again; she and the nurse were at the library and a few people had already arrived. They could come any time.

When they got to the library, Ellie met them and took them to the room where the nurse's aide was waiting. After some introductions, Danny took Paddy outside on the grounds while CJ went over some details with the woman.

Stepping out onto the grounds, she looked for Danny and saw him with the Press Corps. He looked so proud, so happy; his face was glowing. She felt an arm around her shoulder.

"Why do they get so inordinately proud, as if they were the first guy to father a child?" Ginger asked. "Celia was Rick's fourth and he looked just like Danny looks."

CJ hugged the redhead, a new mother like herself. "Speaking of which, where is your little one?"

"She's with my mother-in-law at their place in Newport. The two younger kids are showing signs of new baby anxiety, afraid that I'll love my own baby more than them , and we decided we needed to give them some special family time. Plus, I'm not ashamed to admit it, I've had a little bit of post-partum depression and it is nice to have a small break."

"So far, I haven't had any issues, but when we get back, we'll have less help and I'll be going back to work, so it's in the back of my mind."

"Well, with the family money, I've got all the help I could want and I still had the blues. Anyway, let's change the subject. I'm so glad that so many people from the Bartlet administration had come up for the dedication. Look, there's Margaret with John Hoynes. I understand that there's a third guy in the picture, an Episcopalian priest who helped with the arrangements for Leo."

"When does she have time for her kid, Vinick, Hoynes, and Father New Guy and still run the West Wing?" CJ wondered.

"Well, Margaret always was very efficient."

"True that, I should know. Is Hoynes staying over?"

"If he is, it's not at the farm. They couldn't ask him, and not Russell."

Danny saw her, excused himself from the Press Corps and joined them. More and more people came up to them to see the baby.

Glen Walken let them know that their garment bag had been found on the plane and that he would arrange to have it delivered to the Bartlet farm when the plane returned to take him to Finland later in the day.

After 45 minutes, they took Paddy inside. She fed him one more time and left him sleeping with the nurse's aide.

In the main hall of the library, they came upon Toby, Will, Charlie, and Kate. She hadn't seen Kate since their wedding over two years ago and the two of them made plans to spend some time together over the next two days at the farm.

They heard the sound of someone walking with a cane and saw that President Bartlet was approaching them.

He came to her first. "How nice to see you, sir." He made some comment about how well she looked and they made some more small talk. He asked about getting a picture of Paddy. Danny said he'd try to find something.

As the President moved on to Toby, she teased her husband. "See if you can find something? How many pictures do you have on your laptop? How close is the nearest drug store or Kinko's?"

Charlie was about to start his last year of law school and had spent the summer interning with a law firm in Anchorage. Apparently, he hadn't seen the President since Josh and Donna's wedding either.

Speaking of Josh, he came running into the room to let them know that President Santos' motorcade was arriving. As they were going outside to greet him, Danny asked Josh about Donna. "She's in one of the backup limos with the medical staff."

"When CJ told me she would be here and we made our plans, I was surprised she would be allowed to fly."

"Well, the President's doctor would be on Air Force One and with Abbey and Ellie at the farm, her guy felt that she would be in good hands. Actually, the doctor is more concerned about us riding back with you and CJ the day after tomorrow instead of returning to Washington late tonight with the President. I told him I went to Mapquest and put the name and number of every hospital on the route on speed dial in my phone. Where's Abbey?"

CJ explained that the surgery took a little longer than expected, but that she was on her way. "I know that the President – President Bartlet – is disappointed but I'm sure that the man whose wife and baby were saved will be eternally grateful."

As they were standing on the steps waiting for the limo door to be opened, they heard and saw the helicopter that was bringing Mrs. Bartlet to the dedication.

The rest of the dedication ceremony went well. Liz was the mistress of ceremonies. Nancy McNally, Lord Marbury, Glen Walken, and President Santos all spoke before the actual ribbon cutting. Then Liz introduced her father. Jed's remarks were intelligent and funny, although both Toby and Will were muttering to themselves about simile and cadence. There were moving references to Leo, to Delores Landingham, and to Percy Fitzwallace.

Afterward, there was more mingling, but Abbey came to CJ and Danny and asked if they wanted to leave for the farm. She was going back to take care of some last minute "hostess" stuff and she thought they might want to get Paddy and themselves settled ahead of time. Josh and Donna would be coming early also.

When they got to the farm, Donna picked up CJ's left hand.

"Omagod, when did you get this glorious rock?" She admired the beautiful emerald-cut diamond and platinum ring nestled next to her wedding band.

"Danny gave me that when Paddy was born. I was totally surprised."

"Josh-u-a," Donna said, staring at him.

"Way to go, Concannon," Josh muttered under his breath.

"Just wait until you see what they go through, if you care at all, you'll want to buy out Tiffany's," Danny answered.

Since the last time CJ and Danny had been at the farm (the late winter before their marriage), the Bartlets had added an enormous master suite to the ground floor of the building. ("We spent a lot of money to make sure it didn't look out of place from the outside, but it's so much better for Jed not to have to deal with steps.") They admired the new room, with handcrafted furniture from local Amish farmers. The suite had been designed for the future, with extra wide doors to accommodate a wheelchair, a walk/roll in tub, and doors and windows with electronic switches.

Abbey outlined the sleeping arrangements. Because of Paddy, CJ and Danny would have the Bartlets' old bedroom and bath. ("It'd be like doing it in your parents' bed", Josh whispered to Danny) and Mallory, her husband and baby would use Liz' old room, which also had a private bath. Ellie's and Zoey's old rooms shared a Jack-and-Jill bath. Because of Donna's pregnancy, she and Josh had one of the bedrooms and "honeymooners" ("it's been less than a year") Bonnie and Jean-Luc would get the other.

The other menfolk got sleeping bags in the barn ("There's lots of hay, they'll be comfortable"). The ladies would be on Aerobeds, cots, and air mattresses in one of the big room-size tents ("like the ones in camp") that the Bartlets had rented and erected on the grounds. The second tent would hold the kids (Ginger's three stepkids, Gus, Larry's two kids, Margaret's toddler). Vic and Ellie, with their toddler, would be chaperoning in there.

The others started trickling in from the library. President Santos would be able to stay until 10:00 pm or so. (Helen Santos' mother was having surgery and she and the kids were back in Houston).

When they reached the farm, the group self-segregated by sex. There was an NFL pre-season game on TV, and, being deprived of the sport since the Pro Bowl in February, the men approached the big screen TV in the family room as if it were a burning bush in the desert. The women fed the kids, since the adults wouldn't be eating until the game was over, and settled down with drinks on the deck.

At half time, Danny looked around the room. The President, President Santos (he realized that he wasn't using the correct terms, but Jed Bartlet would always be "the President" for him), Josh, Toby, Ed, Larry, Will, and Charlie. Vic, Jean-Luc, and Ginger's husband were outside starting to get the various charcoal grills set up and started. Good; all the men he needed to see were in the room, but no "outsiders"; now was the perfect time. He ran up to the room he and CJ were using and came back down with a cardboard box.

He cleared his throat. "Uh, everyone, Leo's book (he always called it "Leo's book", not "my book") will be in general release next week, but I had these made up special."

He handed a book to Jed. The cover was dark blue, almost navy. The lettering was engraved into the leather and gilded in silver

"_**To Raise the Level of Debate: Leo Thomas McGarry"**_

**by Daniel Michael Concannon**

"Danny, this is beautiful!" Jed exclaimed, then noticing the additional line at the bottom of the front cover "Number 3 of 25", he asked,"Number 3?"

"Mallory has the first, and CJ the second," Danny answered.

The former president opened the book to the dedication page.

"_To the men and women who fight alcohol and substance abuse in their daily lives: may they be encouraged by the example of Leo Thomas McGarry. May they continue to do so, day by day, and should they fall, may they, as he did, pick themselves up and start again._

"_But first, last, and always, to Claudia Jean."_

Underneath Danny had written, "For President Jed Bartlet, for whom he jumped off a cliff, admiration always, Danny".

He handed number 5 to Josh (Margaret would receive number 4). He had inscribed it "For Josh, who listened to an old friend of his father's".

"Mr. President." Matt took number 6 from Danny's hands and opened it ."For Matthew Vincente Santos, President of the United States, may this book help you to determine the advice he would have provided had he become your Vice-president."

"Thank you, Danny, I will treasure this."

Danny handed number 9 to Toby ("For Toby, who brought CJ into the campaign and into my life. Remember that Leo kept you and dismissed the others.") and number 11 to Charlie ("If you always ask yourself 'What Would Leo Do?', you will never go wrong"). Number 10 was being FedEx'd to Sam ("Never lose the idealism he instilled in you"), who was holding down the fort in Sacramento (Tillman and several other members of the Governors' Conference were on a fact-finding tour in Southeast Asia). He also had inscribed copies for Ed (Number 15), Larry (16), and Will (17).

The men admired the books, thanked Danny, and asked him about the other copies. Danny explained that he had sent numbers 7 and 8 to Leo's sisters Josie and Elizabeth; told them that number 12 would be sent to Nancy McNally , number 13 to Laura Gail Fitzwallace in memory of her husband. (In fact, she had approached him about authoring Fitz' biography and his agent would be negotiating with the publisher next week) and that Kate Harper would be getting number 14. There were also copies reserved for Bonnie, Carol, Donna, Ginger, and Lord Marbury.

"Plus a few extra because I'm sure I've forgotten somebody," Danny laughed, "just like they do at the Emmys."

After the game, the men joined the women for drinks and appetizers. Steaks were cooked on the grills, served with salad and garlic bread.

CJ heard Paddy crying through the baby monitor and left to feed him. When she returned, the conversation had turned to the upcoming election.

"I can't believe that Ritchie is the Republican front-runner again," Danny said. "He can't even play the 'everyday guy' versus 'nerd' card again. No offense to either of you", nodding to both Jed and Matt.

"None taken," Matt Santos said.

"Gus, go short-sheet Danny and CJ's bed," Jed joked. "I'm surprised Haffley isn't running."

"He's going to wait for the next one," Josh said. "He knows he can't beat us this time. Anyway, we could use a media director and a speech writer." He looked at Danny and CJ.

"Thanks but no thanks," CJ laughed. "I'll have enough on my hands with 'Road to a Better World'. You'd think that everyone would see the advantages, but we're getting some flack from some sides that we are upsetting the culture of some of the tribes by modernizing and shaking up the economy. And then there are the ultra-environmentalists who say we're going to 'Pave paradise and put up a parking lot'. I mean, we went to great lengths to set up advisory committees to weigh all these options; experts in all fields have weighed in and agreed with the routes and the plans."

"Well, I for one think that it's a marvelous feat," Matt said. Then he looked at his watch. "But I had best get back to DC. Breakfast with the Spanish Ambassador tomorrow bright and early." He turned to Abbey and Jed. "Thank you for including me. Evenings like this are few and far between, as I'm sure you know."

As the President was leaving, Paddy started crying again.

"Bring him down, CJ," Abbey said.

The younger kids were catching fireflies. Aisling was talking with Annie and Zoey. She seemed to fit in well, CJ thought, and she knew that between Ash and Hogan, the time at the beach would be enjoyable for Danny and her. And hopefully, a good time for the girls, too. She had to be sure that they had enough time to enjoy the beach, the shops, the handsome lifeguards, things like that.

At 11:30, CJ declared herself dead to the world, and, claiming Paddy from Debbie's arms, said her goodnights. Danny told her he would be up in a few minutes and then, touching his niece on the shoulder, walked with her to the far side of the room.

By the time he entered the room they were using, CJ was sitting on the overstuffed loveseat feeding Paddy. She switched sides and smiled up at him.

He thought she always looked beautiful when she was nursing his son, but he had to admit that Jed Bartlet was right earlier today when he talked about how wonderful she looked. The past month, she wasn't sleeping all the time and she spent several hours each day in the courtyard or on the deck. There was some natural sun-streaking in her hair and her skin was all golden and glowing, especially in the white cotton gown she was wearing this evening. He could see weariness in her eyes, but they were sparkling and her smile encompassed her whole face.

Paddy let go of her and she started burping him. "Your son was greedy tonight, he just about drained both sides," she told him.

He reached down, kissed her, put his hand on his son's rear end. "Must be the mountain air. And he needs changing. I'll finish this, and take care of the rest." He took the baby from her and finished the burping process while she went over to the table where she had set up the electronic bump ("the big sucking system") and removed what Paddy didn't. She asked him what kept him downstairs so long.

"I just wanted to go over some ground rules with Aisling about tonight, in the 'Pavilion of Women' (as the group had started referring to the women's tent). I'm sure there will be a lot of drinking and stuff. I don't know why she couldn't sleep in the kids' tent," he grumbled.

"Because she's a good 5 and one-half years' older than the oldest kid in that tent. She won't get in any trouble. That's why Erin and Robin let her come over here on her own. She's not like Fee."

Fiona had been a bit of a handful back in June. On the one hand, she cheerfully took over the housework and the laundry and helped with Paddy. Cindy and Carmen idolized her and she was very good with them. Jessica and Diana sent her silent "thank you's" when she steered the pre-teens away from too much makeup ("You girls are lucky with your tans and your coloring. You look much better with just tinted lip-gloss, maybe a little Vaseline on your eyelids, and just a thin bit of eyeliner on top, don't do the bottom lids. Here, try just a hint of this blush I use. My skin just won't tan and with my black hair, if I use those bright and dark colors, I look like a street-walker and no girl wants to look like that"). However, she also managed to attract a lot of boys and just about every evening, she was jumping into someone's car or on someone's motorcycle, not letting anyone know with whom she was or where she was going. Then there was the skinny-dipping party she instigated with the oldest son of Ken and Laura Robbins, who lived across the street next to the Wei's, at the Robbins pool. Some of the kids were underage. Danny was furious, telling her that as an 18 year-old, she was considered an adult and could get in serious trouble; as an alien on a tourist visa, she could affect her future ability to visit the US. CJ hoped he never got that angry at her.

"Ash told me she wouldn't drink anything, since it was illegal here, but then she reminded me that Robin's great-uncle Angus was already training her to take part in running the family distilling operation, that he thought she had a great nose, and that she was probably a more responsible drinker than some of the other women in the tent. Is Paddy going to be as much to deal with?"

"You probably won't think so, but I might. I think it's a cross-sexual thing. I'll be upset when I find condoms in his jeans and then I'll find out you helped him figure out which ones to buy, and told him how to put them on."

She was in the bathroom cleaning up and he had just finished changing the baby when there was a knock on the door. "Danny, are you decent?" Abbey's voice came through the wood.

At his "No, but I'm clothed," the former First Lady and her middle daughter entered. "Just give us the boy and no one gets hurt," she said in her best gangster voice.

Ellie picked up a bag and started gathering up diapers, clothes, lotions, ointments, and baby wipes. Then she went to the plugged-in cooler, opened it, and took out the two full bottles of breast milk that were inside. Slinging the bag over her shoulder, she collapsed the bassinet and, carrying it, moved toward the door.

Abbey looked around the room, saw the blouse that CJ had been wearing earlier that evening, and grabbed it. "Danny, take off your T-shirt, give it to me," she ordered. He did as instructed, his mouth open at what was happening.

As he complied, CJ came out of the bathroom. "Abbey, what's going on?"

The first lady looked at Danny "Hmm, not bad for a guy your age," she said. Then she picked up Paddy. "Jed and I are kidnapping our honorary grandson for the evening. If the two of you play nice, you'll get him back in the morning."

First-time motherhood anxiety and doubt flared up on CJ's face. "Abbey, I'm not sure that's such –".

"CJ, I've had three children and three other grandchildren, and I'm a doctor; it will be fine." She carried the boy to Danny. "Kiss Daddy goodnight". Then she went over to CJ. "Now your mother." She pulled away from CJ before she could grab for her son. Then she and Ellie walked out of the room. Before she could close the door, Danny said softly, "Abbey, thank you." Abbey smiled at them and headed down the hall to the stairs.

CJ and Danny looked at each other.

"Six hours to ourselves; I'm not sure I remember what to do, it's been so long," she laughed a little self-consciously.

He crossed over to her, kissed her lightly. "I do." He picked up a pair of black watch cotton plaid drawstring pajama pants from the suitcase and went into the bathroom.

When he returned, she was on the window seat. Through the open window, they could hear the muted laughter coming from the women's tent, the late summer sounds of crickets, katydids, and tree frogs. Will and Charlie were carrying what appeared to be two cases of beer and some chips to the barn where the guys were sleeping and there was louder laughter coming from it.

"Looks like you're missing the bull session," she said.

"I'll live."

He pulled her to the love seat and tried to get her on his lap. She ended up with her legs on the cushion beside him, facing him, up against his chest. He held her with his left arm around her shoulders. She put her arms around his neck and played with the curls at his nape. He ran the fingers of his right hand down the side of her arm, back up to her shoulder, down her spine to her rear end, where he started making light circles with his fingers. Sometimes, he spread out his hand and then gathered his fingers up toward each other, as if he were picking up the nightgown from her body.

It wasn't until last October, when they were back at South Bend for another football weekend, that he found out that her butt was an erogenous zone for her. During their time in San Diego, the night that she teased him into reenacting the spanking scene in one of the "trashy" novels Carol and Margaret had given her, he told her afterward about the girl Tim dated for a few months their junior year. She started out wanting a "bad little school girl" fantasy, and Tim had told him that the first two or three times, taking her across his lap and smacking her butt was a turn on, but when she started wanting "harder" and "longer" and "use your belt", Tim just couldn't do it; it went against something deep inside him. Just hearing about it from Tim made Danny upset. They had heard a few years ago that the girl had become a hooker and had been murdered by her pimp.

Anyway, when he told CJ about it, she had put her fingers to her lips, said she understood, and if they ever did "do what's in the book" again, they would skip those scenes. Apparently, it also made her leery of telling him that she liked being caressed there, but finally was able to let him know last fall. It was amazing that they were still learning about each other after almost three years. With any luck, they would continue to do so for the rest of their lives together.

He kissed her hair and she planted little kisses on his chest. He continued to trail his fingers on her posterior and she continued to play with his hair. Then he asked her if she knew that the swats he sometimes gave her were in jest. She reaffirmed that she did and asked him what brought that on at this time. He told her that he was about to walk in the kitchen earlier today when Charlie took one at Zoey and she got real upset and told him never to do it again; it shook him and he just needed to make sure that the two of them were on the same page.

"Really?" CJ asked. "Maybe it has something to do with the kidnapping, or she just doesn't take after her mother."

"You can not make a statement like that and not elaborate!"

"Danny, this is so-o-o off the record."

"Honey, I'm not a reporter anymore."

"You know what I mean."

"Okay, just between you and me."

She told him about the events before the debate with Rob Ritchie.

"Jed smacked Abbey's butt in public and she didn't go ballistic?"

"Actually, I think she ah, she 'enjoyed' it."

"Enjoyed as in ?"

CJ smiled and nodded her head.

"One smack and she-?"

"Well, they spent a few minutes alone and when they came out, in addition to his tie being cut, his hair was mussed and her skirt was a little twisted and her lipstick was smeared, so she was probably, um, 'ready' to 'enjoy', and it wasn't like a volcano 'enjoy' look, more like an ocean wave 'enjoy' look."

He smiled at her. "And how about you when I do that? Do you ever 'enjoy'"?

He couldn't see it in the semi-darkness, but he could feel the heat of her blush. She focused her gaze on his chest. "  
Well, it kind of sets off a vibration from back to front and it kind of makes me 'want' to 'enjoy', to want the other things you –".

"And this," he whispered, making more circles on her backside, "does this make you 'want'"?

She raised her eyes to his, nodded her head up and down, and reached up to kiss him. He trailed his hand down her leg to the hem of her gown, and then trailed it up underneath to touch her.

"What about this?"

Her gasp into his mouth, the tightening of her arms around his neck, and the way her legs fell open, exposing more of herself to his touch told him what he needed to know, and his heart expanded.

They had read the books; they had listened to her doctor. They were aware that her libido could be affected by post-partum hormones, and by nursing. They knew that this year's experience could be different from last year's. But knowing intellectually was a one thing; the reality of her decreased libido and his heightened one in reaction to the two months of no contact and to watching her nurse his son was quite another.

She took it in much better stride than he did. Once Scott gave them the okay, she responded willingly and lovingly to his advances. "Just don't expect me to reenact page 243 of the _'Kama Sutra'_," she joked. She told him she felt good afterward and he was sure she did.

But she hadn't yet initiated anything and she hadn't yet, in her words, 'enjoyed' it.

In the two plus years since she had come to him the day after Leo McGarry died, their sex life had consisted of the normal ups and downs most couples experienced. There had been a couple more incidents like the one the morning of the day she turned down Matt Santos' request for her service. Not all of her experiences ended with fireworks, the "1812 Overture", and the "Halleluiah Chorus", and, truth be told, neither did all of his. There were times when, at the start, only one of them was desirous. But in those times, he could always rouse her or she could always rouse him; the mere fact that one of them was needy was aphrodisiac to the other.

He was having a hard time dealing with the fact that, in these weeks after childbirth, he could not rouse her to want him as he wanted her. He felt guilt, he felt shame, and he felt as if he was using her, even though she welcomed him with her body, with her hands, with her mouth, even though she welcomed his hands and mouth on her, his body inside her.

And so he began to try to sublimate his desire, to not reach for her every time the need came upon him.

About a week ago, on a morning after such a sublimation, he was showering when his desire came back with a vengeance. He shook with his need, and then, for the first time in almost five years, took himself in his hand.

The shower door opened and he heard her gasp his name, then a sob as she ran out of the bathroom.

He swore to himself, got out of the shower, wrapped a towel around his waist (and his now deflated non-need), and found her crying on the chair in the bedroom.

He knelt at her feet, tried to pull her hands into his. "Jeanie, sweetheart, I – ".

She looked at him. "Danny, how could you want to do **that **when I'm here for you? I mean, I know I still have 10 pounds or so to take off, but I'm trying and I love you and –".

He kissed her hands and tried to explain how he felt he was using her and how guilty he felt about it.

"I'm your wife! I promised my body to you before God, our families and friends! I am giving myself to you! You are not using me – you've never done 'slam, bam, thank you ma'am'. You've always been loving and caring and I've always felt good with you, before, during, and after. And that hasn't changed these last few weeks. My body may not be ready for rockets, but it's not as if I 'close my eyes and think of England' or 'pray a decade of the beads' or make a mental grocery list. Oh, Danny," she sobbed, "back in my 20's I faked it sometimes, but I never thought I'd have to think about faking it with you. We're supposed to be in this together, whatever comes – or not," she laughed slightly through the tears.

All he could do was continue to kiss her hands and tell her how sorry he was for everything. Then the baby cried and Paddy's needs became paramount.

For the next few days, they had tiptoed around each other, genuinely affectionate but hesitant; and he had wrestled with his feelings. He didn't have anyone to talk with; Hank and Steve would be of no help and he wasn't that close yet with Frank Muñoz. Robin was on an exchange training session with Aeroflot and was flying in an endless circle around Russian airfields, like Charlie on the MTA in the old Kingston Trio song. He had thought about broaching the subject with Jed. However, the man thought of CJ as a surrogate daughter and, as the kids said – eyheeww! He had problems thinking about Fee as a sexual being (although her month over here left no doubt) and could only imagine what it would be like to have someone want to discuss one's daughter's sex life with you.

In desperation, he went to confession, first making sure that it would be Fr. Luke and not the young Italian for whom English was not the native language.

"I want to say that your wife is right and you should be turning to her, but your concern about using her is admirable, if maybe misplaced," the priest said. "This is just a suggestion, not a condition of absolution, but the guy over at St. Theophanes, Sean Varney, is later-in-lifer, a widower with three grown kids. He might have more experience-based advice for you. Now make an act of contrition.."

With this trip on the near horizon, he didn't have time to seek out the second-career priest before they left. But now, they were making out on this couch, like horny teenagers in her parents' living room, and this time was different; she was responding, she was aroused. He then thought of exactly where they were and realized that it was a little too close to home. Do NOT go there, he told himself, he did not need to think about in whose bed he intended to take her. Instead he concentrated on the task at hand, watching her face as he took her over the edge, knowing as surely as he knew his own name that she would never fake this with him. When she quieted down, he got up and pulled her to the bed and they began again.

Afterward, they were lying there facing each other. By this time, the full moon had reached its height and its light silvered the room and the two of them.

"Hi," he said, stroking her hair.

"Hi yourself," she replied, running her fingers around his nipples.

"You're back," he smiled.

Her face became serious. "We don't know that for sure; we'll have to deal with what comes over the next few weeks and months." Then she smiled. "So I may not be back tomorrow, but I am back **now**." She lowered her hand to his groin and began to stroke him.

He responded instantaneously to her touch. This time, when they were ready, he grabbed a pillow and turned her to her stomach. Kissing her neck and whispering his love for her, he covered her in the way she liked; afterward, they drifted into sleep in the sea of their love.

She woke a little after 4:00. Her breasts were full, but if all had gone well, Abbey would not be bringing Paddy to her until almost 6:00. She got out of bed quietly, not bothering with her gown or a robe, found her hand pump, went into the bathroom, and expressed enough to relieve the pressure. Returning to the bedroom, she put the bottle in the cooler, and went to stand by the window.

The moon had almost set and she could see all the stars in the midnight blue velvet of the sky. She had not seen a sky like this, untouched by manmade light, since their time in Tassajara a year ago. She wondered why this night, she hadn't worried about her baby. Before, when Erin, when her sister-in-law, when Diana, Jessica or Yan, when one of the girls from the teen club was with Paddy, she always had him and his well-being in the back of her mind. The only person she trusted with her son was his father. Until this evening, when Abbey Bartlet came bounding into the room, taking charge, like the mother hen she could often be.

Maybe that was it. Erin was only a few years older than she was. Diana, for all her experience, was ten years younger; Jessica and Yan younger still. Maybe, as a new mother, she subconsciously missed the advice and support of her own mother, and Abbey was the one person who most closely fit that role in her life. He's beautiful, Mom, she thought to herself, I hope you know how lucky I am, how happy I am, with Danny and now with Paddy. You, too, Daddy. I hope you get to meet the both of them someday in heaven.

She felt his arms come around her, felt his breathe on her cheek, felt his contented flaccidness against her backside. They stood there together, taking in the sounds of near morning. His hands moved lightly over her breasts, one of them wiping away a stray drop of milk.

He had just said something about coming back to bed when a movement outside caught their eye. Two people coming from the woods toward the main house. Charlie and Zoey walked toward the women's tent. When he drew her into his arms, she raised her left arm and grasped the back of his neck with her left hand. A glimmer flashed off that hand. The waning moonlight had caught what was most likely a diamond ring newly placed on her finger.

As Zoey entered the tent and Charlie turned toward the barn, CJ could feel Danny growing against her. He turned her around to face him, then rotating the both of them; he sat down on the window seat. Carefully, he helped her lower herself onto his erection, then, holding her close, he lightly kissed around the tops of her breasts, trying to not set off any leakage.

They rocked back and forth a few times, then, one arm around her waist and the other on the table beside the window for leverage, he stood up. "Can you get your legs around me?" he asked.

"You want to try this?" she giggled.

"Well, if we fall and break our tailbones, there are two doctors on the premises."

She got her legs up and he moved his arm from the table to under her butt.

When they hit the bed, there was a slight shaking and they held their breath. "We almost won the 'Matt and Helen Santos Democrats Have More Fun Award',CJ," he said, and put his hand over her mouth as she began to laugh out loud. The early morning breeze was cool and they pulled the covers up over them before returning to more pleasant things.

Afterward, she figured she had about an hour, tops, but an hour is an hour, and over the past two months, she had learned to grab sleep whenever she could get it.

The sun was bright in the window when they woke up to knocking. "Aunt CJ, Uncle Danny, are you awake? I have Paddy with me." Aisling's cheery voice with its light Irish accent came through the door.

"And I have some coffee and tea," added a younger male voice.

Danny got out of bed, pulled on his pajama bottoms and a robe while CJ pulled the covers up to her neck.

He opened the door to Ginger's oldest stepson, a 10 year-old with the good looks and good manners that resulted from the almost three centuries of prep school training imbedded in his DNA. "Good morning, Mr. Concannon, would you like me to set this inside for you or would you prefer to take it?"

Danny took the tray, thanked the young man. "Then I shall see you later, perhaps for the softball game." The boy smiled, walked away.

Aisling brought the baby to CJ, who managed to sit up, kiss her son, and put him to her breast without baring anything other than her arms and shoulders. "What time is it? It seems late."

"It's about 8:45," her niece by marriage answered. "Mrs. Bartlet said that he took a bottle at 2:30 and the other one at 5:30; she had no problems with him. Aside from the kids, she and the President, Ellie and Vic, Dr. and Dr. Faison," she corrected herself under Danny's stare, "and I are the only ones up yet."

Some groans came from outside the window and she looked outside. "It looks like Wi – Mr. Bailey and Mr. Ziegler are up and here comes Zoey and Ms. Hooper." Aisling felt that sometimes her uncle was a little too old-fashioned. Yesterday afternoon, he took her aside and requested that she call all the adults, except Zoey and Charlie, by their titles, even though most of the younger ones kept telling her to call them by their first names. She could understand the President and Mrs. Bartlet – her parents' training would have engrained that in her, and most of the others were near enough in age to her aunt and uncle that it would have come naturally, but Ellie and Vic weren't that much older than Zoey and Charlie. But she loved her uncle very much, and it that's what it took to make him happy, so be it. At least Aunt CJ had talked him out of making her sleep in the kids' tent. If she didn't upset him now, she might get a little more freedom at the beach. She was not going to act like Fee, but if a cute boy wanted to take her for pizza and a walk on the boardwalk some night, she'd like to be able to go.

"Mrs. Bartlet said that breakfast is free-form, and she wants you to bring down your laptop with the pictures, Uncle Danny. Oh, she said to remind you that some of the others will be coming up to use your bathroom, so you might want to, and I quote, destroy evidence of foul or fun play, hide the silver, that sort of thing."

She smiled at CJ, kissed her uncle, and left the room.

He showered, got dressed while CJ finished feeding Paddy. Then he made the bed and neatened the room while she bathed. With the window opened, you could barely smell the scent of lovemaking, not that he gave a damn what anyone else thought or knew.

When she came out of the bath, she packed a small bag with some things for Paddy, put him in the cradle carrier. He grabbed the bag and his laptop, she had the baby, and they went downstairs.

Since an event isn't official without a commemorative T-shirt, Abbey handed everyone a black shirt with **_"Josiah Bartlet Presidential Library Dedication"_** and the date printed on the back with **_"What's next?"_** printed on the front where a designer logo would usually be. "With black, the stains from the clambake tonight won't be as noticeable," she laughed.

Breakfast occurred over the next hour and a half as people came into the big country kitchen, ate scrambled eggs (Abbey wasn't a short order cook), ham, toast, bagels, cereal, and danish. With four bathrooms(guys in the Bartlets, gals in the Jack-and-Jill bath and the Concannon's, the kids in Mallory's) everyone eventually got decent, or at least clean and presentable.

There were lots of kisses for Zoey, kisses and high-fives for Charlie, and one embarrassing moment when Ginger's 6 year-old stepdaughter asked, "Miss Zoey, if you didn't have the ring when you went to bed last night and Ms. Hooper said you had it when you woke up this morning, did Mr. Charlie have the tooth fairy put it under your pillow?"

Seeing the President's look at his youngest daughter and his future son-in-law, Aisling had a good idea where her uncle learned how to stare.

After breakfast, Danny opened up his "Paddy" folder on the laptop and everyone looked at the slide show as Abbey picked out the ones she wanted (she took one of the three of them from his baptism and one of Paddy smiling like a mini-Buddha) and he copied them to a picture card. Other people made requests and he made a running tally of how many prints her needed from each shot.

All the ladies sighed over the picture of Steve, his white bathing trunks in contrast to his bronzed copper skin, holding Paddy ("Sorry girls, he'd be more interested in the guys sleeping in the barn than any of you").

"And who is this?" Carol asked when a picture of Paddy and Maggie Muñoz lying together in a bassinet popped up on the screen.

CJ explained that Maggie lived two doors up and was about a month older than Paddy.

"It's really amazing," she said, "if one or both of them is fussy, we can put them together, and they just quiet down as if they were drugged. Works better than a bottle, than a pacifier. The only thing that works better is changing a wet or dirty diaper; they won't tolerate that even in each other's company."

Danny chimed in. "Frank and I are trying to convince Diana and CJ that we should alternate nights taking care of both babies, both sets of parents have an easier night, and we get alternate time for grownup fun."

He heard a low-throated laugh and saw his niece smiling at him with that strange old smile she sometimes had. "Aisling Ciara MacDonald, what is so funny?"

"Nothing, Uncle Danny, nothing."

"Okay, I'm heading to the drugstore to get these printed; anybody need anything?"

Abbey had a list of last-minute things for the clambake that evening and other people wanted stuff. He commandeered Zoey and Charlie to go with him.

After breakfast, they self-segregated by sex again, the men going off to help with a fence line and the women on (what else?) kitchen clean up. Then the women sat outside on the deck and watched the men try to stake out the new fencing.

CJ was drinking juice, rocking Paddy in his cradle carrier with her foot.

"So Danny starts working on his PhD this fall?" Ellie asked. "Will he still be teaching, writing the columns, and doing books?"

"Yes to all four," CJ answered. "He has two classes and moderates the student newspaper at West LA Community College. The column is still every other week. Right now, he isn't really working on a book, Leo's is out next week and the one with the Prince of Wales comes out in London next month. Of course, he'll more than likely be doing Fitz' story next. He seems to be getting quite a reputation for political biography." She glowed; she was really proud of her husband.

"Did he feel bad about not getting the Pulitzer?" Bonnie asked.

"No, he says that Katie deserved it. Besides, he has two."

"Well, maybe he'll get one for _'To Raise the Level of Debate'_ next year," Carol said.

"From your lips to God's ear," Margaret added, kissing the skinned knee her toddler presented.

Abbey joined the group. "CJ, when are you going to get your PhD?"

"Me? In what?"

"Well, anything you want. From what you've told us, 'Road to a Better World' requires input from the fields of anthropology, business administration, civil engineering, electrical engineering, geography, geology, information management, political science, religious studies, sociology, God knows what else. You could probably devise a completely new program of study and be the first person to get the degree in it. You really should think about it."

"Maybe when he's in school, I can start thinking about it. And Abbey, thank you for last night." She gave the other woman a direct look.

"It was our pleasure. We'll do it again tonight."

CJ demurred but the former First Lady refused to take no for an answer. "Well, I'll check with Danny."

Paddy started to cry. "Feeding time," CJ said, picking up the baby and heading inside. She was a little shy about nursing in front of so many people.

"Would you like some company?" Donna asked, struggling out of her chair.

"Sure."

They settled themselves in the living room.

"So, any day now?" CJ asked.

"Part of me can't wait to be not pregnant and part of me is scared to death. CJ, is it what you expected?"

"It's everything and more. Everything you've heard, everything you've read, nothing really prepares you for having this little part of you and him, this life you made, actually here. He's a constant, he's always there, everything is about him. Feeding him, bathing him, holding him. He's so helpless, he needs someone all the time. I mean, I'm luckier than most, I had Erin and then my sisters-in-law, plus the girls from the teen club, plus Danny at home, and I'm not quite sure how I made it through these past two months. This next month, I'll have the help after school, but I'm not sure how we'll make it through the day and the night by ourselves. Danny says we'll do what we have to do, hire a nanny if necessary, but I'm still a little apprehensive. And then, when I'm back at work, even though I can do a lot from home, that's another demand on my time."

"Do you like nursing?"

She smiled at Donna."Yeah, I do. I mean, it was strange at first and the mess, the leaking, and the scheduling can be a pain. And the first month, when he was feeding every other hour, it seemed that all I did was nurse and sleep. But I feel something so special when we're like this."

"Mess?"

"The spraying and the leaking, it can happen at any time. In the middle of church, in the middle of the supermarket, in the middle of sex." She blushed.

Donna looked down, not able to meet CJ's eyes. "I've heard that some men like to – "

"So did I; it's never come up with us. It just doesn't seem like something Danny'd want."

"I don't know if I'd be able to do it, I mean after my leave. There are times when I think I'm busier than Josh."

"Well, you can try it and if you have to stop, you have to stop. I don't think it's necessarily the be all and end all. Andy didn't nurse and Huck and Molly seem to be okay. And Ginger isn't. Now, as wrapped up in the other kids, I would have thought she would have wanted to, so it just goes to show," CJ said.

"She told me she couldn't. Apparently, Ginger was wa-aa-ay too over endowed and had to have breast reduction surgery when she was just out of high school. It affected her ability to nurse."

When they went back outside, the softball game was underway. "Team Charlie" (Danny, Larry, Will, Ginger's husband, Debbie, Anne Weston, Ellie, Bonnie, Mallory, and Ginger's oldest stepson) was leading "Team Josh" (Toby, Ed, Vic, Jean-Luc, Mallory's husband, Margaret, Aisling, Ellie, Carol, and Gus) by four runs. In the end, "Team Charlie" won by one run.

After a light lunch, people rested until the bus came to take everyone to the beach for a traditional New England clambake.

At the beach, they entertained themselves while the clambake finished steaming. Some folks waded in the surf, some hiked along the shore. And of course, there was a game of volleyball.

Jed, Danny, and Josh were sitting by a picnic table drinking beer.

"So I understand you're going for a PhD, Danny," Jed said.

"Yes, I got accepted at USC for a joint program with the Annenberg School of Journalism and the English Department."

"Geez, Danny, you're writing a column, you're co-authoring books out the whazoo, you're teaching classes, where are you going to find the time and why are you bothering?" Josh asked.

He looked over to where CJ had Paddy on a blanket under an umbrella. Kate was on the blanket with them and Donna was sitting in a sturdy beach chair. CJ and Kate were taking turns tickling Paddy's tummy with their hair.

"I just want us to have more options in the future," he said. "We've just gotten to the point where CJ isn't spending all her time sleeping and nursing, where she can enjoy being a mother, and she has to go back to work in a few weeks. Everything this summer has revolved around him. I know she wants to see the project well on its way, and she can tailor her hours, but if she wanted to take more time, I would have liked to have made it possible. I could have taken an editorial position with the _LA Times_ last year. It wasn't until I saw her with him that I realized what being a parent could do to you, that she might have wanted to cut back on outside stuff. Like I said, everything we do is for him or affected by him. And I'm so happy I can't stand it."

"And you can't have these options now? Your books always hit the top of the charts and every newspaper in the country that's left of Hitler wants your column."

"The money's not the problem. Between the columns, the books, and the part-time teaching, I could handle everything except the health insurance. I mean, the Annenberg School would take me as an adjunct professor right now, but without benefits. You guys really need to do something about the healthcare and childcare situation in this country. I mean, CJ and I are lucky, we had family to help out, we can afford to bring in help, I'm working from home a lot of the time, CJ had 3 months' fully paid leave, and she can work from home a lot when she does go back. It's those that don't have family to help, that can't afford to hire someone, that don't get the paid leave that I worry about. And the cost: I saw the insurance statements about what the gross charges were; a year's worth of royalties would have barely covered them. It's just unbelievable! Having access to good medical care, especially for birthing a baby, is too important to depend on your job."

"You'll get no argument from me," Josh said. "But back to you. Getting a PhD part-time is going to take some time. By the time you're done, Paddy'll be ready for kindergarten and you wouldn't need someone at home all the time."

"Well, just between the three of us, in two years or so, we're going to try again. Or try to adopt. Anyway, if CJ wanted to do the whole soccer mom bit, I'd like her to have the chance. She'd be good at it; but then I think she'd be good at anything."

Abbey announced that the clambake was ready and soon they were all around the pit (keeping the kids at a safe distance) as the tarp was lifted, the seaweed taken off, and the lobsters, clams, chickens, corn and potatoes taken out and enjoyed by all. Utensils were provided but most of them ate with their hands.

They were just getting ready to return to the farm when Josh's pager went off and the Secret Service agents hustled Jed into a Suburban and took off.

Josh called into the White House as the rest of them stood by the bus, wondering what in the world was happening.

Josh got off his cell."There was a terrorist attack in Singapore. The fact-finding group – 15 governors, their aides, their families – we don't have much information yet but I need to get back to Washington ASAP."

The sound of a helicopter filled the air. Another agent came up to him. "Mr.Lyman, you need to take this chopper to Logan; you have priority seating on every flight until you get there."

"My wife? Donna?" he reached for her and she came to his side.

Danny stepped over to Josh, put his arm on the man's shoulder. "We'll get her to Washington, Josh. It'll be safer. Go, the President needs you."

The bus ride back to the farm was mostly quiet, some low conversation. Paddy fussed a little. The other kids sensed that their parents were concerned and held onto them.

Back at the farm, Jed and Abbey told them that all 15 governors and some of their aides were killed in the attack. The spouses that had accompanied them had been on an excursion at the time and had managed to get to the Embassy.

"Governor Tillman was on that trip. That means that Sam is now governor of California," Danny said, sitting down.

The rest of them slowly took in the fact. They knew many of the men and women who had lost their lives today and knew that the state governments of 15 states would be in flux for some time. Most of them went off, some to put the kids to bed, some outside to sit, some to the tent or the barn. CJ had fed Paddy on the bus, so Aisling took him upstairs, said she would stay with him for a while. Jed, Abbey, Donna, CJ and Danny remained in the family room.

Jed spoke up."I'd like to call Sam, give him our support."

"I've got his personal phone number." CJ pulled out her cell and punched a code. "This is Claudia Cregg Concannon. I'm calling for President Bartlet. Is Governor Seaborn available for him?" After a minute or so. "Sam, this is CJ. Just a sec". She handed her phone to Jed.

"Sam, I can only imagine what you and the rest of the state must be dealing with right now. I just wanted to let you know that anything you need from me you have." Pause. "I think that's an excellent decision under the circumstances. Do you have any ideas for the seat?" Pause. "I don't know, is there a second choice?" Pause. "Okay, again, you have our thoughts and our prayers." He handed the phone back to CJ. "Sam wants to talk with you."

"It's me," she said into the phone. "I agree, an excellent decision." Pause. "I appreciate the honor but I can't." Pause. "No, I don't need to talk about it with Danny, it's not for me." I understand; do you have anyone else in mind?" She'd be great. "Listen, we're all behind you, you know that. Here's Donna."

"What don't you need to talk with me about?" Danny quietly asked his wife. He wasn't sure what it was he was feeling, but rarely did either of them make a unilateral decision any more.

"Sam is nominating Barbara Fong as Lieutenant Governor," she answered, mentioning California's senior US senator. "He feels he needs to have someone for whom the state voted as his second in command in order to keep the legislature focused."

"It's a good choice," Donna added. "She won her last senatorial race with something like 105 percent of the vote, didn't she?"

"Eighty-six," CJ answered. "He wanted me to serve out her term. She's up next year. That's what I told him I couldn't do. I didn't think you'd mind," she smiled, walked over to him and put her arms around his neck. "Between the foundation, Paddy, and you, I have enough on my plate. He was pretty sure I'd say no, 'cause he already had Sarita Hollis in mind as a second choice. Frank will be so proud. I'm thinking it was just a courtesy."

Donna handed CJ's cell to Abbey.

"No, Sam meant it," Danny answered, "and I would have been proud also. You know I would have gone along with whatever you wanted, but I'm glad you turned down the seat. You are just beginning to enjoy Paddy; Washington would have been too much."

Donna's phone rang; Josh had just landed at Reagan and was heading for the White House. He was sending her phone the list of hospitals on the way from Manchester to DC.

Abbey had gone upstairs and now she and Aisling came back with Paddy and his paraphernalia. When CJ and Danny demurred, she wouldn't take no for answer and threatened to call upon the Secret Service detail if necessary.

So CJ, Danny, and Donna went upstairs, with Danny making sure that Donna traveled them safely.

They would all be leaving tomorrow, a bit saddened by the horrific events in Singapore, but glad that they had had one more time together to remember the Bartlet years.

**Epilog**

_Brigadier General (Retired) Francisco and Mrs. Diana Muñoz_

_and_

_Doctor Daniel and Doctor Claudia Concannon_

_request the honor of your presence_

_at the marriage of their children_

_Magdaléna Ynès_

_and_

_Padraic Talmadge_

_Nuptial Mass_

_Saturday September 20th, 2031_

_at 11:30 o'clock in the morning_

_Chapel of the Sacred Heart_

_Loyola Marymount University_

_Los Angeles, California_

**-------------------------------------------------------**

**"God Bless my SUV"** – Capitol Steps

Well, I've heard that other countries are down on the U - S

A land of mass consumption our lives filled with excess

But my daddy wasn't fighting on Normandy that day

For the right to drive a Hyundai, I refuse to live that way

And I'm proud to be an American who gets just 5 em-pee-gee

Though I live alone this bus I own can seat one hundred three

And I'll gladly park so close to you when you pull out you can't see

I'll never trade my Escalade God bless my S – U – V !

Well the road may have congestion but I'll get there alive

So don't pester me with questions like "What would Ghandi drive?"

And you won't catch me in Starbucks when I need a drink or snack

When I bought this ship it came equipped with a Starbucks in the back

And I'm proud to be an American with a car that fits my rear

The cash I put down could have fed a town in Somalia for a year

And I'd gladly go and fight Saddam, he'd lose a war with me

You'll be stuck in mud when he sends his scud, but not my S - U – V!


	35. Quo Vadis?

**Quo Vadis?**

Characters – everyone and no one

rating scene – General

spoilers – None for the show

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

Quo Vadis? ("Where are you going"? or "Whither Goest Thou?" for my "separated brethren" who use the King James Version) -- with apologies to Henryk Sienkiewicz (1846-1916, Nobel Laureate 1905) for stealing his title

There is an old "Beetle Bailey" comic strip set in the bar on base that I really love:

Sarge: "I'm Sgt. Orville Snorkel and I'm staying right here watching TV and drinking beer!"

Bartender: "What was **that** all about?"

Sarge: "Every so often I like to ask myself who I am, where I'm going, and what I should do with the rest of my life."

Hi, it's me, the author of this work in progress.

With the last chapter ("The Summer of our Son"), I've come to the end of the known canon. I intend to go on, but I would like to stop here and do two things.

The shorter thing is ask if I should stop "Holding Hands on the Way Down" and begin a sequel. If I should, this would be a good place to do so. The number of chapters may be getting unwieldy for you readers. However, I don't know what I would call a new story – "Still Holding Hands on the Way Down?" Also, I still get emails from people who have just discovered the story and I'm afraid that if I break off, the first story will get lost as it falls further and further off the first page of "West Wing" stories. Any suggestions or opinions (even if it's 'stop writing this, it's a waste of time') are welcome (if not followed.)

The longer thing is explain what I am writing, why, and how I see it continuing.

"Genesis 1:27" through "Nicest Saturday in a Really Long Time" were written to fill in what I considered gaps left by Wells _et.al_. In writing those chapters, I became ensorcelled by the CJ/Danny story and as people began to talk wistfully about a "spin-off", I think I started to nurture the "dramedy" that has developed into "Holding Hands on the Way Down".

While trying to stay true to the canon, I've also put some of my own thoughts and wishes about life and society into CJ and Danny and their new environment. I see what I've written as influenced by "Northern Exposure", "Brooklyn Bridge", and "The Wonder Years", as far as television goes. In terms of fiction, I see my influences, in no particular order, as Kathleen Gilles Seidel, LaVyrle Spencer, Andrew Greeley, and Diana Gabaldon. I freely admit that I have imbued them with my own sense of spirituality, but the path I have followed has been followed by many "cradle Catholics" (a period of non-involvement followed by one of returning to the church with a more mature attitude toward religion, usually around the time of marriage or birth of first child), so I don't consider it to be out of the ordinary for CJ and Danny to follow that same path.

As I pursue the CJ/Danny story through the first half of the twenty-first century, I see myself concentrating on their life in California, with occasional references to their interaction with their friends from the Bartlet administration days and to their families.

I really want to develop the "neighborhood" idea because I think that it (the "neighborhood") worked for so many of us in the past, whether the "neighborhood" was Mayberry, Cicely, the suburb of Kevin and Winnie, or an apartment building in Brooklyn. I still see it working today to some extent. On my own block, we don't "party", but we are often on each other's porches and in a pinch, everyone pitches in to help. The incident in "Scenes from a Solstice", where CJ and Danny take care of Mei-Ling, is based on something that happened to us. I often joke, as a single woman, that there are usually 3 or 4 times a year that I really wish I had a husband to fix things, but that "celticfemalegoodfriend" and "celticgayguynextdoor" are willing to lend me theirs when I need one .

CJ and Danny's "neighborhood" consists of twelve houses, six on each side of the street, bounded by cross streets.

The street is one street back and up a small rise from the highway that runs next to the beach and the ocean. I'm not sure if such a block exists in Santa Monica, but looking at Mapquest, I seems feasible.

On the ocean side of the street, we have

Pietro and Sonya Dieliczko, (plus kids) whom we have yet to meet (permanent residents who are on their way to citizenship)

Hank and Steve, the interracial gay couple

CJ and Danny

Jessica, the Kazakhstan war widow and her daughter Cindy

Frank and Diana Muñoz, plus Carmen, Mike, Stevie, and Maggie

Billy and Sally Rogers (he's on the city council)

On the other side of the street, we have

Dick Jenkins, who was mentioned briefly, wife Angela and kids

Ken and Laura Robbins, (plus kids) who have been mentioned briefly. (this family is African-American)

Li and Yan Wei, plus Mei-Ling

Clara Pagoulatos, whom we have yet to meet (she is a 60-something widow)

Wally (Wahib) and Aviva Hammash (plus kids), whom we have yet to meet. Wally's parents are from Lebanon (father was Muslim, mom is Christian); Aviva's family is non-practicing Jewish. (This family satisfies my starry-eyed idealistic "can't we all just get along?" _persona_)

Joel and Hannah Feldman (plus kids), whom we met briefly (this family is reform Jewish)

Danny's sister, Erin, met her husband, Robin MacDonald (a pilot for Aer Lingus) while on a weekend trip to Europe (she was a flight attendant). Although Robin is a Scot (and 36th in line to be head of clan MacDonald), they live in Ireland near Shannon airport. They have two daughters, Fiona ("Fee") and Aisling ("Ash"). Aisling will play a prominent role in future episodes.

CJ has two brothers. The elder one is Hogan's father and we don't know much about him and his family. The younger one has five sons, no daughters, and lives in Napa.

As for the Washington connection:

This is my presidential timeline:

Matthew Vicente Santos2007-2014

Haffley2015-2018 (defeated in bid for 2nd term)

Samuel Norman Seaborn2019-2026

Moderate African-American Republican (possibly Edward William Brooke IV)2027-2034

Donnatella Moss Lyman2035-2038(did not seek 2nd term)

Clifford Calley2039-2046

Josh and Donna marry in September 2008; they will have at least two children, at least one girl and at least one boy. Some of you have asked for "more Josh and Donna". They will appear from time to time, but I'm waiting for Donna to tell my muse more about how she grows into the woman who will become President.

Sam eventually marries the woman to whom he was engaged; by a series of _dei ex machina_ events, he becomes governor of California, which prepares him to seek and win the presidency in 2019. he will appear from time to time.

John Hoynes will continue to figure in these stories; I haven't decided if he will win the heart, hand (and other parts ) of fair Margaret, whose executive skills have been recognized by Matt Santos.

Zoey and Charlie are finally engaged to be married.

Ginger is married to a widowed NJ Congressman who had three kids from his first marriage. He is from "old money" (modeled on the Dupont's of Delaware).

Bonnie is working with "Road to a Better World" in San Luis Obispo as liaison for CJ; she is married to Jean-Luc, a Canadian national who heads the French Department at Cal Poly.

Nancy is CJ's assistant in Santa Monica. We really need to get Nancy a guy.

Carol is Josh's assistant; she is "keeping company" with a State Department career employee. By the way, she caught the bouquet at Bonnie's wedding.

Glenallen Walken is working for "Road to a Better World" as Chief Fundraiser.

Jed and Abbey continue to live on the farm. I have decided that Jed, being the all-talented nerd that he is, will write his book by himself and will not ask for Danny's help.

I see Toby and Andy as not remarrying but remaining close, perhaps "with privileges", (if that's still what the kids are calling it these days).

I'm finding it very hard to write in a timeline. I have all these ideas about what is going to happen and some of them are clearer than others. I may write some things and put them in "Time out of Joint"; I may write some things and keep them on my hard drive until they are ready to be published in the timeline; of I may do as some other authors do and post things as I write them with dates to let you know what happens when. If anyone has any suggestions, feel free to suggest.

One problem that this (writing all over time) causes is that sometimes things that I have brewing in my head for the future are similar to things that others post after the "brewing" but before time for me to post. I want to let the other writers know that I am not trying to steal anyone's ideas and if I should find that a concept might work in one of my stories, I would ask first and cite the inspiration, as I did with "Small Talk".

Last but not least, if you find any errors in grammar, spelling, or fact, please let me know. I know that I have problems when I read things that contain errors about, for example, life in the 60's or 70's, my religion, geography, etc. and I would prefer not to make them myself, so don't worry about hurting my feelings.

Thank you for reading so far. My next chapter, "Life's a Beach", is in the works.

Now, for those of you who like to read the last chapter of a book first, here are some major spoilers concerning what I have planned:

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Some major "spoilers" I have planned so far:

CJ will win the Nobel Peace Prize for her work with "Road to a Better World"

CJ and Danny will have a daughter, Caitlin Delores. She will be a somewhat troublesome child, for reasons that will be revealed later; this will cause her parents some torment, especially Danny

Caitlin has a very unique relationship with Huck Ziegler, whom she will marry at age 18

Both Danny and CJ eventually get PhD degrees


	36. Life's a Beach

**Life's a Beach**

CJ/Danny, Josh/Donna, Hogan, Carol, Ginger, mentions of others

Maybe teen-rated; some sex but nothing super explicit

Spoilers – though end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

By a two vote margin, you've recommended that I continue with "Holding Hands" rather than start a sequel. Thanks for all your input.

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Bartlet farm near Manchester NH, early August 2009 about 8:30 AM.

"Riders up!" Danny Concannon summoned his passengers. Everything was packed in the SUV and he was anxious to get on the road.

Aisling came out first, carrying his son. Then came Donna and CJ on either side of Abbey Bartlet, her arms around each of them. Jed brought up the rear.

There were final hugs and kisses all around.

"Thank you again for your hospitality, Mr. President, Dr. Bartlet," Aisling told the couple. "I enjoyed myself very much."

"My dear, you are delightful," Abbey answered. "It was a joy having you in our home."

"Everyone go potty?" the former president asked.

"My God, Jed, they're all grown women," his wife reproved him.

"Maybe I should go one more time?" Donna seemed hesitant. "I don't want to be any trouble."

"Donna, you went two minutes ago," CJ said, climbing into the third row where the infant car seat was already strapped. Aisling handed Paddy to her and she fastened her son into the carrier.

Danny helped Donna into the second row with its shorter seat and assisted her with the seat belt. "We can stop whenever you need to," he told her. "Just ask. We have all day. We called Hogan and we called Mark's sister last night; Jane knows to expect Hogan sometime this afternoon but that we won't be there until tomorrow."

The original plan, when both Josh and Donna were to be driving down the coast with them, was for Otto to meet them just outside Wilmington to take Josh and Donna to Washington while CJ, Danny, Aisling, and Paddy would continue down the Delaware coast to Rehoboth Beach, picking up Hogan from a military shuttle at Dover Air Force base. Now that Josh was already in the capitol to deal with the untimely death of 15 governors in Singapore, they would be driving Donna to the townhouse she and Josh owned, spending the night, and then driving over to the beach tomorrow morning. Hogan said she should be able to find a ride at the base "somehow or another" (CJ decided that Danny didn't need to hear that last phrase).

Aisling strapped herself into the front passenger seat as Danny checked his mirrors. "Impulse speed, Mr. Sulu," she told him. "Warp drive at your discretion."

"I thought I appointed you navigator, Ms. Uhura. You don't have the Com," he replied.

"Well, consider this a mutiny."

"Better be careful. You're wearing a red shirt."

"With this hair?" Aisling's locks were the color Danny had when he was twenty. "Look again, it's peach."

As soon as they got on I-93, Danny started them on "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall". That managed to kill about 20 minutes, but it got them all in a silly mood and they began singing other field trip and camp songs, like "John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith", "On Top of Spaghetti", and "Do Your Ears Hang Low?". Donna taught them one none of the others had ever heard.

"When you see a cow of a certain color, you start to sing, using that color, for example:

'_You can get good milk from a brown-skinned cow_

_The color of her skin doesn't matter no how_

_Yo ho ho, no sirree,_

_The color of her skin doesn't matter to me'". _

About an hour into the trip, near Worchester, Donna spoke up. "Danny, would you mind if we stopped?"

CJ took advantage of the break to change Paddy and they took off again.

When they had to stop again just outside of Hartford, it became apparent that little Lyman-to-be was going to make them take a break every hour. As soon as they passed New Rochelle, Danny decided to stop for lunch; he wanted to make it through the city and south of Newark without having to get off and on the Interstate.

As they were leaving the restaurant after lunch, someone asked Danny about the makeup of their group, wondering to whom, if any, he was married.

Before he could open his mouth, Donna started in with a perfectly straight face.

"We're all his women." Pointing at CJ, she said, "She popped about two months ago and I'm ready to go any second. And the little one," a glance at Aisling, "we just found out yesterday that she'll be birthing next March."

Seeing the shock on the faces, CJ decided to play along. "Man's got a lot of strength. Most nights, he makes all three of us really happy, one right after the other."

Aisling chimed in. "And it sure helps, only having to do a third of the housework. Even though he's my mom's first cousin, I'm glad he was willing to take me on. I'm so happy I'm finally gonna have a baby – he's been trying to get me in a family way since I was eleven."

Danny took pity on the flabbergasted couple; also, he couldn't keep a straight face. "Wife and son, wife of close friend, niece," he pointed to each of them in turn. "For the older two, I'm assuming their hormones are running roughshod over their maturity; the young one is just a smart aleck." Looking at the male half of the couple, he added. "As I'm sure you know, one is often more than enough."

CJ and Donna were still giggling as they headed to the SUV. He told them that the next food break would be drive through at the fast food place of his choosing unless they apologized for corrupting the morals of his innocent niece.

"I'm a smart girl, Uncle Danny; I know how to corrupt myself."

He reached over and took a swat at her. "You aren't too big for a spanking, young lady."

Aisling turned around to look at CJ and Donna. "Does he like that sort of thing? I know some women do. Fee does."

At which point, Danny flushed deep red and Donna announced that they had beaten the joke to death.("Interesting choice of words, there, Ms. Moss-Lyman.")

CJ, Paddy, and Donna slept during the leg through New York City and Aisling proved to be a good navigator ("Just stay on I-95 all the way"). The trip down through New Jersey took them east of Philadelphia, across the Delaware River to Maryland, through Baltimore Harbor and finally to DC, arriving a little after 8:00 pm. Not bad, considering a lunch break, a snack break, and seven additional "potty breaks". Donna broke in a chorus of

"_Three cheers for the bus driver, the bus driver, the bus driver_

_Three cheers for the bus driver who's with us today_

_God bless him_

_**HE NEEDS IT!**_

_God bless him_

_**HE NEEDS IT!**_

_Three cheers for the bus diver who's with us today!"_

Carol had sent Josh home with a carryout meal for all of them from the White House mess and he proved perfectly capable of working a microwave.

After they ate, Josh told them the latest details about the assassinations in Singapore. The President and Vice-president Baker would be trying to get to all the funerals. Matt was also drafting Jed and Glenallen Walken as official mourners. The bodies would arrive at Dover tonight. He had spoken with Sam earlier this afternoon.

In addition to dealing with becoming governor, Sam's wife had suffered a miscarriage two months into pregnancy. CJ and Donna both gasped, Donna putting a hand protectively over her stomach. They called Sam and Morgan to offer prayers and sympathy.

Hogan called CJ; she had arrived at the beach house later than expected as she had been flying standby into Dover and then had to wait for a ride to the beach. She met Mark's sister and now was waiting for the pizza guy. Danny took the phone and reminded her to be sure to lock up carefully when she went to sleep that night. Maybe there was an empty couch on the second floor with Mark's sister's family? Hogan said she would be extra careful but reminded Danny that she was a trained naval officer with, among other things, kickboxing in her repertoire.

Donna offered CJ the use of her nursery but CJ demurred; little Lyman-to-be should be the first one to use it.

Josh was long gone before they woke up the next morning but Donna was on leave and they had a leisurely breakfast with her before heading toward Annapolis, the Bay Bridge, and the beach.

They would be stopping in DC for a three or four nights after their time at the beach; by that time, little Lyman would, God willing, be a reality.

After the three-hour trip, Danny pulled into the driveway behind the old yellow clapboard house at the head of the street.

"This is Mark's?" CJ asked.

"Well, it belongs to his family. His great-grandparents built it at the beginning of the last century. Mark's parents fixed it so it could be two separate apartments by putting in the extra kitchen upstairs and extra bathrooms, plus they updated the wiring in order to handle the window air conditioners and the new appliances. When I first met him, I had just turned thirty; there were always all sorts of folks here every weekend. I spent many a night on a cot on the screen porch with four or five other guys."

"Only guys?" Aisling asked him.

"The girls stayed upstairs. Mark's grandparents lived here year-round and you needed to show ID and prove you were married to get a room together. "

The back hallway had a door that opened into a big kitchen, a staircase going upstairs, a huge hot water tank, and a washer-dryer combo. There were four bikes in the hallway, one with a milk crate-sized basket on the back, as well as a couple of beach umbrellas and about a dozen beach chairs in varying styles. The kitchen opened to a living room in the front of the house that opened onto the screen porch. The larger bedroom, which had its own bath, was next to the living room. Behind it was another bath and then a smaller bedroom with two twin beds.

Danny and Aisling brought in their things. Then Danny decided to take a short nap while the others unpacked.

CJ called Hogan's cell. "I'm on the beach just outside, Aunt CJ. Just walk out to the porch. I'll wave." CJ walked outside to the porch and saw her niece. There was a screen door with five steps that led down to a 10-foot strip of sand dune, which fronted the boardwalk. Hogan was on a blanket about two-thirds of the way to the waterline, about twenty-five feet to the left of the lifeguard's chair. "We'll be down in about 30 minutes." CJ told her niece. "I need to feed Paddy first."

After she fed the baby, she walked outside on the porch again. On the southern side of the house was a staircase leading down from the second floor screen porch. Under the staircase was a sand shower. There was a clothesline that held beach towels drying in the sun.

When she went back inside, she could hear Danny playing with Paddy; she went into the bedroom and changed into a bathing suit. Danny made appreciative comments, got out of bed and put on his suit. They spread sunscreen on each other. She put Paddy into a cool cotton onesie with matching hat and gathered up his and their beach things while her husband went to get an umbrella and some chairs.

Danny opened the refrigerator and grabbed a Coke. Hogan did some shopping this morning so they had some basics. She told them she thought that with the delay in their plans, they wouldn't want to waste time with the nagging little details of setting up a beach house. She also made the beds.

"Danny, could you come into the girls' room for a minute?" Walking into the room that Hogan and Aisling were using, he saw his wife and his niece standing by one of the beds. There were five bathing suits spread out on the bed.

"Let's get this settled now," CJ said. "These are your niece's bathing suits". She pointed to the brown and cream print maillot, two tankinis, one in a green that matched Aisling's eyes, the other in white, and two two-pieces, one a halter-top with a medium-rise bikini bottom in purple, and the other a keyhole top with a medium-rise bikini bottom in turquoise.

He took a sip from the can. "No problem, no problem, no problem, no way, no way."

CJ held up the cell phone she had been holding at her side, out of Danny's sight. "Erin, he reacted as I predicted." She handed the phone to her husband.

"Danny," Erin laughed. "I picked out one of the two-pieces myself. If you can tell which one I bought here and which one she bought in Concord, then she won't wear either of them. If not, then she wears both of them."

Danny knew when he was defeated. "But you're wearing a T-shirt when you go up to the boardwalk," he told his niece. "One that covers your backside." Then they left to let Aisling change into one of the suits. (She picked the green tankini.)

They spent the rest of the afternoon on the beach. CJ draped mosquito netting over Paddy's cradle carrier. Tomorrow, they would bring down the little popup tent that would allow her to nurse in privacy on the beach but they didn't feel like bothering with it right now.

Hogan offered to sit with Paddy so the three of them could go into the surf.

They had already arranged for a babysitter for that evening, so the four of them walked up to Rehoboth Ave and, looking at the menus in the windows of the various restaurants, picked a place that appealed to the four of them.

CJ could tell that several of the restaurant patrons recognized her and she could only guess at the conversations. Aisling definitely resembled her uncle, especially in her coloring, and she and Hogan shared the Cregg eyes and chin. It hit her that had she and Danny met, fallen in love, and married in their early twenties, they could very well have two daughters aged 24 and almost 16. She mentioned it to Danny when the girls went to the rest room.

"Me, maybe," Danny said, "and they might think you're Ash's mom, but no way do you look old enough to be Hogan's mom. Look at you." He took in her sun-streaked hair, her tan. She was wearing a natural linen dress with a peasant style top and a full skirt with sandals on her feet. "Unless you're my child bride, married at 15."

"Flattery will get you everywhere," she joked, kissing him quickly as the girls came back and the waiter brought their meals.

They were just finishing their meals when CJ heard a familiar voice. "Well, I heard that the two of you had married, but I didn't know about kids! Danny, what did you do to deserve three beautiful women?" Will Sawyer reached out a hand to Danny, bent down to kiss CJ's cheek.

Danny introduced "our nieces" to the reporter and asked the couple at the next table if they could use one of the unoccupied chairs. Then he pulled out his ever-present mini-album of baby pictures (as well as the sepia-toned photo of CJ from their wedding) to show the man. Will had recently returned from Africa. They discussed the situation in Singapore; it was still a shock, especially with Jed Bartlet's recent success in Jakarta. When Will found out that they were staying in Mark's family's place, that brought about more talk about some of the wild weekends and weeks spent there about 15 years ago.

The maitre d' came to tell Will that his date had arrived and the rest of them left the restaurant, stopping for ice cream cones on the boardwalk on the way back to their beach house.

The days took on a certain sameness. If they had the energy, some of them would ride bikes on the boardwalk (before 10 AM) or on the town streets. One of them would take the bike with the basket and do the grocery shopping needed for the next day or two. By 9:00 am, their space on the beach would be staked out with a blanket, an umbrella, and some chairs.

If it got too hot, someone would take Paddy up to the house during midday, but most of the time, he was happy to be in his cradle carrier under the umbrella and the mosquito net, or in the little pop up tent they sometimes used. Hogan and CJ enjoyed taking their beach chairs down to the water line, letting the surf come up over their legs (and sometimes higher) while they read paperbacks that Hogan bought at a used book store. They also spent some time riding the waves, which was Danny's and Aisling's preferred activity. CJ and Danny also spent time napping under the umbrella or in the tent, as she was still nursing six or seven times a day and they varied the timing of the bottle feedings. Even the dolphins seemed to come by on a regular basis.

On the third morning, about 6:30, she had just finished feeding and changing her son when she turned to the bed to see her husband's smoldering eyes devouring her. Smiling, she put Paddy in the bassinet, and pulling her nightgown over her head, she crawled onto the mattress. Twenty minutes later, completely forgetting the occupants on the other side of the wall, she screamed his name in release as he went rigid over her, then collapsed, pulling her to her right side next to him. After catching their collective breath, they looked at each other; they covered each other's mouths with their hands as they laughed uncontrollably. Later, when they left their bedroom, there was a note on the kitchen table.

"Ash and I are going clamming. We'll see you at the umbrella. Call if you need us. Have fun (big winking smiley face)"

Later that afternoon, while Hogan and Danny were in the waves, Aisling approached her with one of the younger lifeguards in tow; he had been one of the two young men manning the station at the head of their street and she had noticed the glances and the way too casual conversation between their niece and the kid. Aisling introduced him as Mike, who would be entering Notre Dame in the fall on a swimming scholarship. "Do you think Uncle Danny would let me go to Funland some evening?"

CJ advised the young man to come to the house tonight and sit on the porch with Aisling, let her husband get to know him. Then ask him for tomorrow or the next night. "One thing for sure, you'll have to come to the house to fetch her, don't ask her to meet you there." The young man assured her that he had been brought up properly. Then he excused himself; his break was over and he needed to get back up on the chair.

One of Hogan's classmates (male) from Annapolis who was stationed at Patuxent Naval Air Station had a two-day pass and was taking her to dinner that evening. Danny, CJ, and Aisling would have chicken skewers on the grill and then play Scrabble on the porch.

They had just finished the first game at 8:30. Aisling was changing Paddy after his feeding while CJ was in the bathroom. The bell next to the door on the screen porch sounded and Danny went to answer it.

"Yes?" he said to the young man in the "Dover Catholic Swimming" T-shirt, the pressed khaki shorts, and topsiders.

"Good evening, sir. I'm Mike Paulson, one of the lifeguards. May I visit with Aisling for an hour or so?"

He opened the door to the boy. "Ash, you have a caller." Then to the young man, "Do you play Scrabble?"

Aisling came into the living room, placed Paddy in the cradle carrier, and then came onto the porch. CJ came out with a tray of lemonade and cookies. Danny took in the four glasses.

Mike stepped up to her. "Let me take that, Mrs. Concannon. Where would you like it?"

"Good evening, Mike, nice to see you again." CJ caught Danny's eyes. He knew exactly what was happening.

As they played the board game, they learned that the young man was planning to study Biology at Notre Dame as a pre-veterinary student. Had he not qualified for the athletic scholarship, he would have qualified for an academic one. This was his first year as a regular lifeguard at the beach, but he had been in the junior lifeguard program since he was fourteen. His father was a civilian employee at Dover Air Force base and his mother was a legal secretary.

"Why does the Beach Patrol make everyone get out of the water at 5:00 when you leave?" CJ asked the young man. The first day, she and Danny had been bobbing up and down in the swells just out beyond where the waves were breaking when they were whistled in to the shore.

"We want to make sure that no one is in any danger when we leave for the day," the young man answered. "After we leave, it's 'swim at your own risk', and, obviously, many people do, but we have an excellent safety record and we don't want to spoil it." He described the various physical tests and the training he had to undergo before being accepted into the Patrol. As a first year lifeguard, he was always on duty with a more experienced veteran. As a rule, there were only two stations with only one lifeguard on duty, and never on the weekends or holidays.

After the game, CJ asked Danny to help her with something in the kitchen. Danny put his arms loosely around CJ's neck. "So how long has this been planned?"

"Well, the flirting has been going on since the first afternoon, but they asked me this afternoon," she admitted. "He's a nice boy, Danny."

"Yes, he is, but he's starting college, and she's 15."

"He's not yet 18 and she's almost 16. And she asked. If it were Fiona, she would have walked out of the house without saying anything, let alone asking."

They went back to the porch. The two youngsters were sitting on the glider. Mike stood up as they approached.

"I'd best be leaving now." It was just before 10:00. "Thank you very much." Then he looked at Danny. "May I take Aisling for something to eat and then to Funland tomorrow evening?"

"I don't see any problem with that," Danny answered. "I'm assuming you would like that, sweetheart?" He looked at his niece.

She smiled shyly. "I would."

"I'll be on duty at the first-aid station tomorrow," the young man told her. "I'll pick you up at 7:00?"

"That would be fine."

They waited a minute. When it became obvious that Danny did not intend to leave them alone this evening, Mike offered the older man his hand, nodded his head to CJ, smiled at Aisling, and left.

Aisling hugged her uncle. "Thank you." Then she skipped off to the room she was sharing with Hogan. "What am I going to wear?"

CJ turned out the lights and pulled her husband out to the porch. They watched the moon play on the waves, listened to the sounds of the surf breaking and the conversations of people walking on the beach, and engaged in some necking.

They were about to get more serious and were considering taking it to the bedroom ("but quietly this time", CJ said) when Hogan and her date came in through the kitchen door. The four of them shared a bottle of Bailey's. If they could line up a babysitter, Roy would like to take the all of them to a restaurant on the waterfront in Lewes. They would try, CJ told them, but let them know that in any event, Aisling would have other plans. Then CJ pulled Danny to his feet, told Hogan to be sure to lock up when Roy left (with just a little stress on "when"), and led Danny into the bedroom. After nursing her son, she once again approached the bed. This time, they were very quiet, but there were smiles on their faces as they spooned into sleep about thirty minutes later.

About 3:00, Danny woke up about two seconds before Paddy began to whimper. Quickly grabbing his son and the diaper bag, Danny went into the kitchen. "Let's let Mama sleep this time," he spoke softly to his son. He figured he could sleep on the beach later in the day. He set a pan of water on the stove to warm, reached in the refrigerator for the bottle he knew was there and set it in the pan. Then he changed he baby on the kitchen table. He tested the bottle, never taking his eyes from the infant on the table and, grabbing a quilt from the sofa as he walked through the living room, he wrapped himself and his son in it as he sat on the porch, giving Paddy the nourishment he needed.

"I'm gonna have a lot to teach you in 15 years or so, about how to find the right girls and how to treat them like they deserve" he told the boy, "and if Mama and I manage to get a little sister for you, you and I are going to have to make a pact that she gets only the best, okay? Ya know, I had no idea what I was getting into when we decided to try for you, but I wouldn't miss this for the world, Paddy, not for all the Pulitzers, not for all the exclusives in the world. Between Mama and you, I'm the luckiest man in the world." When the baby had drained the bottle, Danny burped his son and carried him back to the bedroom.

CJ stirred. "Go back to sleep," he kissed her neck as he came into bed behind her, careful to keep his growing arousal from brushing against her. However, she pushed back against him and shifted her upper leg. "I want, too," she murmured.

"In that case," he softly growled into her ear as he slipped into her, his upper hand sliding down to help her along and his lower arm slipping under her neck. She gripped his hand and bit it, cried into it when her time came, then kissed it as he let go.

The next morning they had just arranged for a sitter when her cell rang. It was Carol; Noah Leo Lyman had been born by Caesarian section just after sunrise. Donna was doing as well as could be expected for someone with a lateral incision in her pelvic region and Josh was overwhelmed by the whole experience. CJ sent flowers in their name. They called later from the beach and spoke with both Donna (tired but happy) and Josh (totally incoherent.)

After much consultation with Hogan and CJ, Aisling decided on a multi-colored print pair of capri's with matching short-sleeved blouse. "If you spill anything, the stains will just blend in." Hogan told her. "And make sure you don't get anything with onions," she said with a wink.

"Eat all the onions you want," her uncle said, but his eyes belied the gruffness in his voice.

CJ gave the young girl her cell phone "just in case you need us. And if anyone calls for me, give them your uncle's number."

When Mike came to pick up Aisling, the baby-sitter was already there; they were awaiting the arrival of Hogan's date.

Once again, the young man looked directly at Danny. "When should I have her home, sir?"

"Ten-thirty," Danny answered, giving the time on which he and CJ had compromised. He glanced at the babysitter, a woman in her early thirties, then looked at his niece. "We may not be back by then; we're trusting you."

"I know," she answered, giving him a hug.

After the teens left, CJ went to the bedroom to pump and dress while Danny went over some specifics with the babysitter.

The meal was as Roy promised it would be – nothing ultra fancy, just an extremely wide choice of fresh fish and seafood excellently prepared and served on sparkling white linen, simple bone china, and simple stemware, with an excellent view of the lighthouse and the shoreline. The menu was simply typed sheets inside plastic covers, like the little places they had visited on the northern California coast.

They returned to the house a little before 10:00. The babysitter told them she had no problem with Paddy; he took the 8:30 bottle right on schedule and went back to sleep. She would be more than willing to sit with him again, she told Danny as he saw her to her car, making sure the vehicle started okay. As he returned, CJ looked out at the beach shimmering silver in the moonlight and sighed.

"Why don't the two of you go for a walk? We'll wait for the kids," Hogan told them.

So they grabbed a flashlight, ditched their shoes, rolled up their pants legs, and set out across the beach. Just as they reached the hard, wet sand at the water line, they heard Aisling's distinctive laugh, looked up, and saw the young man reach in to kiss her cheek before starting up the path from the boardwalk to the house.

"Pay attention to your own girl," she laughed, putting both her arms around his waist.

He looped one arm around her shoulders, let himself be pulled northward.

They walked up to the beach, stopped to watch some of the volleyball taking place at the lighted courts near the intersection of Rehoboth Ave and the boardwalk. They continued up a few blocks more, then climbed to the boardwalk. They went in the Five and Ten and bought themselves flip-flops. They got frozen custard cones and walked down the boardwalk.

He pulled her into Funland, where they rode the carousel, played in the bumper cars, and made out in the tunnel of horrors. Then they played Whack-a-Mole.

"Why couldn't we have had one of these in the West Wing?" she moaned, hitting the one she had named "Haffley".

Danny pounded the one he had labelled "Conflict of Interest" and asked, "Should we offer to buy this as a baby present for Josh?"

Time got away from them. It was 12:30 when they returned to the house; her breasts were aching and she went to pump. Hogan told them that the baby had awakened right on schedule but was happy with the bottle they heated for him. Aisling had just gone to bed.

"Thank you for this evening," Danny told her. "It was generous of you to give up whatever plans you might have had?"

"Roy is just a friend, Danny," she assured him. "There's a submariner that's kind of special, but he's somewhere in the Indian Ocean, and I've never really been the 'Love the one you're with' type; I want what you and Aunt CJ have."

"And this submariner?" he asked.

"Maybe. Just maybe," she smiled.

He yawned as he got up and then reached down to give her a hug. "I'm glad you're here with us, that you were willing to spend so much of your leave time with us."

"Well, I need to get on my godson's good side; if I don't get married and have kids of my own, I expect him to look after me in my old age."

"I don't see **that** happening. Now let me lock up."

On the fifth day, Aisling came out in a new blue, purple, and green paisley print suit with a skirted bottom, the waist of which came just below her navel and a halter top that resembled something in a World War II pin-up picture. It had a matching sarong-style coverup. When pressed about it, she said that while the American boys were much nicer and less vocal about their reaction to her bikinis than those in Ireland, she was totally shocked at the reaction of the older men ("some even older than you, Uncle Danny") and they made her uncomfortable. "So last night, I saw this and decided to buy it. Mike helped me pick it out," she looked down and blushed.

That afternoon, Mike had a half-day off and he spent the time with them. He and Aisling built an elaborate sand castle. They fetched drinks and food whenever anyone expressed the least need for sustenance. They rode in the waves but they also volunteered to spend time with the baby so the others could enjoy the water. He had to undergo some advanced EMT training that evening, but if her uncle permitted, could he take her to the sock hop at the bandshell tomorrow?

Mark's sister had invited them up for steamed crab that evening. She and her family would be leaving the next day; Mark and a couple of his friends would be in the day after tomorrow.

On the sixth morning, CJ and Danny set his phone alarm so they could sit on the screen porch and watch the sunrise come out of the ocean. They talked about how different the beach experience here was from what they were used to in Santa Monica. It was more than the orientation of the coast. Here, there was always the sense that the experience was temporary, that the season would end and fall and winter set in. In California, it seemed as if they saw the same people on the beach and on the piers every day, whereas here they were aware of the ever-changing mix of visitors to the shore.

"Sometime, we'll find a place with a private beach and make love in the dawn, at noon, at night," he whispered into her hair. "We'll leave Paddy with his Aunt Donna and Uncle Josh."

"Ginger tells me her in-laws have a huge place just outside of Cape May in addition to the one in Newport. She's thinking about having a big reunion next summer," she giggled. "Knowing our group, we'll probably have to schedule sex like they do tennis courts."

That morning, they were walking the boardwalk with Paddy in his stroller when they saw the lifeguards go through their morning ritual. The young men (and some young women) went through some calisthenics, then did a group swim out into the ocean beyond the breakers before dispersing to their assignments. Mike took off up the coast; his assignment rotated to another station today.

Hogan volunteered to stay with Paddy that evening so CJ and Danny could have the evening out. After Mike came for Aisling, the two of them walked up to town. They started to go into Grotto's for pizza, but quickly changed their minds when they saw Mike and Aisling sitting in a booth toward the back. They ended up in a seafood place a block off the avenue and had the best crabcakes they had ever remembered eating with some excellent coleslaw. They saved room for a big bucket of Thrasher's fries, which they were enjoying when the sock hop started.

CJ looked at Danny and he looked at her. They looked for the kids, found them in the crowd and headed for the opposite corner of the plaza, and danced for about 45 minutes before heading for the house.

CJ and Hogan were on the porch when the kids returned; Danny was in the shower. CJ decided to divert her husband and joined him in the bathroom while Hogan suddenly realized that she needed a Coke.

Mike and Aisling were standing by the screen porch door.

"I had a really nice time, Mike. Thank you."

"So did I." He reached in and kissed her lips very lightly. "Good night."

"Sleep tight," she replied, reaching up and kissing him back.

Danny and CJ walked out of the shower into the darkened bedroom. Luckily, he only saw the third kiss, another chaste one from him to her. "I'll see you tomorrow; it's my full day off," he said as he walked away from the house.

CJ put her arms around her husband. "I'll talk to her tomorrow; make sure she understands it's just a summer thing."

"No, I'll do it."

"You'll be able to stay calm, not get super-protective?"

"I think so. Everyone's right, she's got a level head on her shoulders."

(Day 7)

It rained the next day, and Aisling woke up with cramps and an early period. She had some medicine which pretty much knocked her out for the day.

Right after the 11:30 feeding, CJ and Hogan took the SUV to the Outlet mall (Hogan was used to driving one). Just after they pulled away, there was a knock on the door. Mike wondered if Aisling could go to the arcade with him.

Danny explained the facts to him and was pleased to see that the boy was not so worldly that he didn't blush a bit.

"Tell her I hope she feels better soon," he said, walking toward the door. Then the young man turned around. "The day after tomorrow is my last day here. My folks want me back home for a week or so before I have to go to South Bend. I'd like to take her to dinner," he mentioned the name of a restaurant that caused Danny to raise his eyebrows slightly. The total bill there could easily reach $100 for two, even without alcoholic beverages, "and then to the concert at the bandstand?"

Danny thought quickly; this was a good kid. "I'm sure she'll like it very much." Then Danny realized that there might be more than one young heart in possible danger of hurting here. "Mike, you do know that Aisling will be going back to Ireland when we leave here and I don't think her parents are going to let her go to Indiana for football weekends or things like that. Summer romances can be particularly poignant."

"I know that, sir, but she is a special girl. I've never met anyone quite like her. We've already exchanged email addresses – if you think your sister and brother-in-law will be okay with that?" They talked for a bit more before Mike left, discussing Notre Dame. They exchanged email addresses, with Danny promising to get in touch if he and CJ returned to South Bend this coming fall for a football weekend.

Paddy woke up, needing changing and feeding, and Danny handled the situation, watching a game from Wrigley field. He called Josh and spent some time with the man, dispensing advice to the new father.

CJ and Hogan returned, each with several bags. ("Danny, I found some nice shirts for you, and wait till you see what I found for little Noah!")

Hogan retired to the porch with the long-awaited Jean Auel release and a big Whitman's Sampler box. CJ checked on Aisling, who was sleeping peacefully and announced her intention to nap as well.

"Would you like some company?" Danny whispered in her ear and she blushed her assent.

CJ and Danny lay in the bed, both of them looking very happy, very relaxed, very satisfied. They could no longer hear the rain through the open window, but the wind coming around the shade still carried the scent of drizzle.

Paddy began to whimper and CJ made a move to get up.

"You stay; I'll bring him to you." Danny kissed her ear and went to fetch his son. He checked the diaper, found it still dry. "Here's your mama, kid," he crooned, putting the child in her arms and getting back into bed beside her. He put his arm around her; he could never get enough of watching her nurse his son.

"Do you suppose he'll get a complex, all the sex we've been having with him in the room?" she giggled.

"Nah. It's good for him. Subliminal learning, he'll know what to do in 15 years."

"More like 20, I hope." She lifted the covers, looked pointedly at her husband's groin. "And he'll probably have an inferiority complex."

He tried to hide his self-satisfied grin. "I think Erin has a nudie shot of me at 30 months with which she used to threaten blackmail; I'll show him there's a lot of growth ahead of him."

By the time Paddy was full, so was his diaper and Danny took care of that also. CJ was nodding off, so he told her to sleep, he would shower and go fetch dinner.

Hogan suggested rotisserie chicken, salad, French bread, and something for dessert. She asked if she could come along; Aisling needed some "supplies" and his niece would probably prefer that she or CJ buy them. They checked the refrigerator, made a list. He went to ascertain the diaper and baby wipe supply.

By the time they returned, the drizzle had stopped and there was some clearing to the south and west. Tomorrow promised to be another wonderful beach day.

After dinner, they watched a video but the sleepiness of the day sent them all to bed by 10:30. Close to midnight, they heard the sounds of Mark and his guests arriving. Mark was reminding the other men to move quietly, as it was obvious that the downstairs residents were already in bed.

(Day 8)

It was a beautiful morning. The air felt fresh and clean after yesterday's rain and it gave all the promise of being another perfect "beach day". The high was predicted to be in the low nineties and it was already 76 degrees at 8:30 in the morning.

Aisling was feeling much better and CJ asked her go fetch in the wet towels that were hanging on the line by the sand shower; she was going to wash a load of clothes.

CJ was heading toward the kitchen when she heard a vaguely familiar male voice addressing Aisling.

"Well, Mark told me there was interesting scenery at the beach, but he certainly didn't say it was **this** interesting, darlin'. You look familiar. Maybe you'd like to ride the waves with me?"

CJ hurried outside to see Aisling holding the towels in front of her green tankini, not quite looking at the man on the steps coming down from the second floor of the house.

"Tad." She greeted the man.

His glance raked down and up her body, taking in her cut-off shorts and her halter-top. "Not exactly Press Room attire but I'm not complaining. Always knew there was a wild woman under that cool, touch-me-not attitude. Even when we were together, I knew you were holding back. All that talk about no favors and you and Concannon were rolling around in the hay."

She couldn't believe what he was saying to her, let alone in front of a child. She glanced over at Aisling, trying to get her to go inside. He followed her glance, putting together her coloring and the occupants of the house's first level. "Oops, don't want ruin daddy's little girl's dreams or give her any ideas about step-mommy. He really kept that under covers. When did he tell you?"

"This is our niece. Aisling, this uh, gentleman is Mr. Whitney". Giving Tad an icy look, she let him know exactly how little truth lay behind her use of the term. "Ash, why don't you get those in the washer and start it?"

As Aisling ran into the house, CJ turned back to her old nemesis. "So, Tad, are you still with the State Department," she asked casually, already knowing the answer but hoping for some more information.

"Boy, you are out of touch! No, I finally got my foot in the door in the West Wing. Ms. Louise," his tone indicated what he thought of the lady "still has me as an errand boy, but I'm hoping to make her see the light, give me something better to do."

The screen door banged again. She felt Danny come up behind her and she stepped back against him, grateful for the hands that came to rest on her shoulders but a little apprehensive. She knew he was in primal male protective mode and hoped that things stayed in the ugly stare stage . "Honey, you remember Tad Whitney from the State Department?"

She could feel Danny's nod against her hair. "Tad." The upstairs screen door opened. "Hi, Mark. Steve. Phil." The presence of the other men seemed to defuse the situation somewhat. Then Danny turned her around to face him. "I took him in the shower with me and he's dressed but now my son needs that only his mother can give him." She felt as if an imaginary "Private property of Daniel Concannon. Keep off" sign had been posted on her, front and back. He smiled, turned her toward the door, giving her a light shove on the small of her back.

Hogan came bicycling down the boardwalk, a box of doughnuts in the front basket. Tad's eyes were drawn to her.

"Another niece. You may remember Hogan from the Navy lacrosse team two years ago, the one that won the NCAA's? She tells me that all that practice with a bayonet really honed their skills with the _crosse._ Now, if you gentlemen will excuse me, time and doughnuts wait for no man."

When he walked into the kitchen, the three of them were at the table. CJ was multi-tasking, Paddy in one arm, a lemon-filled Bismarck in the other hand. "I don't want any of you in the house alone," he told them quietly.

CJ put down her doughnut, reached for her orange juice. "I – "

"CJ, I mean it."

"I know, Danny," she said quietly, "and I agree. I was just going to say that I don't think he'll be here long." She smiled. "Anyway, it's a gorgeous day, let's not waste it. Aisling, put the wash in the dryer. Hogan, get into your bathing suit. Last one on the beach is a rotten egg!"

It **was** a perfect beach day. At varying times, they surfed the waves, bobbed along in the swells, built sand castles, read at the water line, slept in the sun or the shade, or people-watched.

When the dolphins ("Porpoises, actually." Danny was channeling Jed Bartlet) came by, several of them did flips in the air, including one that did a double. They had white pizza from Grotto's and piping hot fries from Thrasher's for lunch.

Mark came by to apologize for Tad Whitney. "He invited himself. I was so flabbergasted, I didn't know how to say 'No'. Maybe he'll find someone to hook up with; it's strictly male upstairs, so he'd have to go to her place."

CJ told him that she thought that it would work out okay. Mark told them that if they wanted to stay another week, it was no problem; his family wouldn't be back until Labor Day weekend. They told him they would think about it. Hogan's leave was up in 6 days and they were counting on having her on the plane with them so they would have two rows in first class. Also, Aisling did have to get back to Ireland for school about the same time. But they assured him that they were having a truly wonderful time. Then he, Danny, Steve, and Phil got involved in a cutthroat game of touch football up by the boardwalk, away from the sunbathers.

Mike came jogging down the beach from his station up by the First Aid house on his lunch break. He was glad that Aisling was feeling better. His lifeguard buddies were taking him out this evening since he was leaving, but he did formally ask Aisling to dinner and the band concert for the next evening. Hogan wondered aloud about some ice cream "from that place near the bandstand" and Aisling volunteered to fetch it, so she accompanied Mike back to his post.

CJ looked at Hogan. "You are getting to be as devious as my old assistant, Carol."

"I can't help it, they're just too cute."

CJ's cell rang. "Thanks. We owe you big time."

After they ate the ice cream that Aisling brought back and after CJ fed her son in the tent, Hogan and CJ went to bob in the swells.

Aisling remained with the baby. They had picked up a small battery-operated fan and she set it up to create a breeze around the sleeping infant. Danny plopped down beside her. The other guys had gone up to the boardwalk in search of beer and pizza, but he needed to talk with his niece.

"Ash, honey, Mike is a very nice boy but you do realize that this is what it is – a summer romance? After tomorrow, he's going to go home and then in a few weeks, he'll be at Notre Dame and he is going to experience so many new things, meet so many new people, so many new girls; he may have all the best intentions in the world of keeping in touch with you, but things can happen. I just don't want you hurt or to think badly about him if you don't keep in touch. He's not going to be the only boy to kiss you."

"I know that. Mike is very nice; his kisses are very nice, better than any I've had so far." Was Erin aware that her daughter had already been kissed? "But I'm waiting for the guy who will make me feel the way Aunt CJ feels when you kiss her."

Damn; outside of that one morning, he thought they had been discreet. "I hope you find it, too, sweetheart."

"Oh, I **know** I'll find it, I just don't see when or who." She looked at him directly. "I sense things, more than you, more than Mom. Aunt Sorcha says I get it from both the Concannons and the MacDonalds."

Things got very still, very quiet. It was as if someone had dropped layers and layers of cheesecloth over the umbrella; the world was fuzzy, hazy. He sensed that his niece's green eyes were turning darker and yet clearer; then he didn't sense anything at all.

"In a few years, you're going to have a daughter, Uncle Danny. She's going to be special, but you and she are going to have some heartache because she's special. There will be so much love and yet some pain between the two of you. I can help the two of you. Let me be her godmother. Now, I know you and Aunt CJ want to be surprised, so you won't remember this now, but when she's born, ask me to be her godmother." Then her eyes returned to their normal shade of green, and her almost-16 persona returned.

He shook his head; he must have had a sugar imbalance or something.

"I'm sorry, Ash. What were you saying?"

"Just that I'm going to wait for the right guy, Uncle Danny."

They talked some more. She mentioned that she thought it was funny that Mike thought she looked nicer in the maillot, the tankinis, and the new suit she bought than she did in the bikinis. He told her that many guys didn't like other men ogling at their girl friends. It was something she should keep in mind for when she was older ("much older") and had a really serious relationship ("like being engaged"); there were some things a guy wanted to be for his eyes alone.

Later that afternoon, as he was hanging towels outside by the sand shower, he saw Mark driving off with Tad Whitney. Phil and Steve asked him up to their porch to have a beer with them. He asked about Mark and Tad.

"Oh, Tad got called back to DC by Lou Thornton," Phil said. "Something about working on a memorial for the guys killed in Singapore. Some days, the gods smile on us. Mark is driving him to the airport in Salisbury; he should be back in 90 minutes or so."

He and CJ had arranged for the babysitter that night. The four of them planned to eat at the old Chinese restaurant and since, with Chinese, the more the merrier, he asked Phil and Steve if they thought Mark would be amenable to the seven of them eating together.

"I've got his number," Steve said, and plans were made.

He walked into their bedroom.

"I understand that Whitney got called back to the West Wing."

"Hmm. Really?" she said, trying to hide a smile.

"Carol?" he asked.

"I went to the top. Margaret."

The seven of them walked up to the center of town and sat at the big round table with the lazy susan in the center. They drank exotic drinks with rum, juice, cherries, fruit slices, and paper umbrellas served in hollowed out coconuts (except for Aisling, of course) and ordered way too much food and had a wonderful time.

Between Mark's assurances that it was safe and CJ's willingness to stay on her phone the entire time, Danny let her and the girls walk the six or seven blocks to the house by themselves so he could have some time with the guys. He stayed with them for an hour or so, but when they decided to move on to a singles bar, he left them to their bachelor fun.

As he was walking the final steps, he heard the three of them on the porch. CJ and Hogan were giving Aisling advice for the next night.

"Never, never, order the most expensive thing on the menu," Hogan said. "Mike seems like a really nice guy, but you never know. There used to be plenty of old sit-coms where the girl's friends tell her 'Of course he expected you to put out; you ordered the lobster!' But don't get the cheapest thing either, unless it's something you really like and have mentioned it before to him. You don't want him to think you think he's a cheapskate or can't afford the prices. They get sensitive that way."

"My senior year at Berkeley," CJ chimed in, "this guy took me to a really fancy place in the city. The menu they gave me didn't have any prices on it! It wasn't like now, where you can go out to websites ahead of time, either."

"What if this place is like that?" Aisling asked. "What did you do?"

"Well, I don't think many places still do that, but in that case, you ask him what sounds good to him. That will give you an idea of what he can afford. In fact, unless there's something you can't stand to eat on the menu, you can always ask him to order for you. That really stokes their ego."

Hogan added, "and if there is something that you don't like, say something like 'Other than the braised monkey brain, it all looks so good! Why don't you pick something for me?' That way, you'll find out if he's the type that likes to share. Sharing can be fun, especially dessert."

"There are certain things you want to avoid even if he does suggest them, things that are messy, things that can spurt, like the whole lobster."

"Chicken Kiev."

"Beef Wellington, unless it comes already sliced."

"Cherry tomatoes."

"Spinach."

"Onions."

"If you want pasta, make sure it's something like farfalle or penne, not fettuccine or linguine that you have to twirl or cut."

"If you pick yourself, let him know what you would like. Give him the chance to give your order to the waitperson. He may not know about that, but just in case, don't start ordering yourself."

Poor Mike, Danny thought, didn't stand a chance. Hell, most guys were in the same boat. He came up the walk. "You do realize that the Brotherhood of the Y-Chromosome requires that I repeat this conversation verbatim to said young man."

(Day 9)

The next day, with Mark, Phil, and Steve willing to take an occasional turn under the umbrella with Paddy, CJ suggested to Hogan and Aisling that they might want to go up to another lifeguard station and "leave the grownups to themselves."

When Aisling and Hogan returned, they brought along two women who had been classmates of Hogan's at Annapolis. They were staying in a condo on the other side of the highway and Hogan ran into them at the gyros stand.

A few minutes before 7:00, Aisling walked into the living room. Hogan had done her hair and her makeup, lent her some jewelry. She was wearing the dark green linen dress that CJ had worn for the library dedication.

"The dress?" Danny whispered to CJ.

"She wanted something dark in case she had an accident; she's still, um, 'indisposed' and is a little nervous about it," she whispered back.

Mike was right on time. He looked very nice in a navy blue linen blazer, red polo shirt, and white slacks. ("He's gonna spill gravy, I know it," Danny whispered to CJ). He was carrying a bunch of gerberas.

Hogan helped her fasten two of them over her right ear and they put the rest in a vase.

"The band concert is supposed to go until 11:00," CJ murmured into her husband's ear.

Danny thought quickly. He was a good kid; she was a good kid. It was their last night together and, in any event, word on the street was that she was still "out of commission". He looked Mike in the eye. "Midnight."

"Thank you, sir." Mike held out his hand.

Aisling kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you, Uncle Danny," she whispered.

Hogan and the guys from upstairs left to meet Hogan's friends to play miniature golf and then do the arcades on the boardwalk.

CJ turned to Danny and said, "Just us married folk. Do you feel as old as I suddenly do?"

"You wanna put the kid in the carriage, go up for something in one of the places with outdoor seating?" He looped his arms about her waist.

"Nope. I'm kinda tired and it's going to be a long night; I don't have any bottles left. I'm perfectly happy with being inside with my men and leftover Chinese."

So they dumped Chinese food, one carton at a time, onto paper plates for nuking and ate from the same plate. By the time they got to the second carton, they were feeding each other with the chopsticks. There was only one pancake left for the moo shu pork, and they took turns taking bites of it. He took the all hot and sour soup and she took all the wonton. There was one eggroll and they each started from an end and met in the middle.

They lost track of time; it was almost 9:00 when Paddy's crying reminded them of his needs.

When she came out to the screen porch with the baby, he was sitting in the dark on a chaise lounge; he had taken off his shirt. She sat down on the lounge facing him, handed Paddy to him, and began to open her blouse and undo one side of her nursing bra.

"Sweetheart, take them off," he softly ordered.

She looked around.

"It's dark, CJ, the moon isn't out yet; no one will see us."

When she had complied with his wishes, he handed the child to her, then turned her around and pulled her back up against his chest. With one hand on her stomach and the other on the arm holding his son, he rained little kisses on her neck, shoulders, and upper back. Then he leaned back in the chaise, pulling her with with, and ran his knuckles along her jaw line. They heard the sounds of the orchestra warming up for the band concert, then the sounds of the program beginning.

While he periodically planted more kisses on her hair, she finished feeding Paddy and burped him. Then, still holding him in her arms, she turned on her side against him and reached up to kiss him.

"Do you want to take this inside?" she asked.

"Not just yet," he answered. They sat there for about 30 minutes, his arms holding the two of them. He could tell she was nodding off, so he managed to take the baby, stand up, help her to her feet and lead her into the bedroom. He put Paddy in his bassinet and got her to lie down on the bed, managed to take off her shorts. Sleepily, she reached for him.

"Later," he told her. "You need some sleep."

"But you're –" she ran her hand lightly over his aroused state.

"It'll be sweeter for the waiting."

He got her under the covers, changed his son's diaper, checked the back door lock (for which Hogan had a key) and went back to the porch. He put on his shirt, put the lock on the screen door in case he fell asleep, and sat down to wait for the kids.

He woke to the sound of the bell by the door. It was Aisling and Mike. He glanced quickly at his watch -- 11:55. He let them in and asked about the evening while casually assessing the two of them. Both heads of hair were a bit mussed and her lip-gloss was gone, but that could be the result of dinner. Most important, nothing looked out of place, clothing wise.

Taking a deep breath, he kissed his niece. "Make sure you put the lock on the screen door and set the deadbolt on this one," hand on the door from the porch to the living room, "when Mike leaves." He gave the young man his best Jed Bartlet stare. "Good night." Then he went to lie down beside his wife, shutting the bedroom door.

He was just nodding off when Paddy started crying. Stifling his groan (he had the easy part), he brought the baby over to CJ, who pushed herself up into a sitting position and leaned into his shoulder as Paddy began to nurse.

When he was done, Danny took the baby from her and began to burp him. She pushed herself off the bed and headed for the door.

"CJ?"

"I need to pump; I want to have a bottle for tomorrow. I've gotten used to 6 hours' sleep."

"Honey, you might want to put on a robe."

She didn't ask why, just did as he suggested.

When she returned, she went to check on the baby.

"I changed him," he yawned and stretched.

"Honey, Ash and Mike were sitting on the porch?"

"Yeah, I kinda let that happen. Is he still here?"

"No, he left when I came through. You were really okay with that?"

"You might want to call Carol tomorrow, ask her to have someone check the leopards at the zoo for their spots." He laughed at himself.

"After this week, you still want to try for a little girl?" She lay down next to him.

He turned to face her. "Call me crazy, but, yeah, I do. Assuming you'll still want to deal with all of this again."

"Call me crazy, too. I may not be sure about myself, but you are going to be a great father. You did good this week," she yawned and snuggled into his chest.

"Well, I'm sure about you. You're as good at this as you were at briefing."

(Day10)

Between Paddy's feedings, CJ and Danny slept in the next day until noon (well, they did do something else between 11:30 and 12:00). By that time, she had managed to get a full bottle as backup.

They were somewhat surprised, when they walked down to join the girls, to see Mike standing by the umbrella with an older couple.

"I wanted my parents to meet Aisling," he explained, making the introductions between the Paulsons and CJ and Danny. As she shifted Paddy to her left arm, see could see the light of recognition in Mike's parents' eyes. They made small talk for a few minutes before the Paulsons left.

Then it was time for Aisling to repeat for CJ and Danny everything (well, not quite everything) she had told Hogan about her evening with Mike. Mike did ask her for her choices and did do the ordering for both of them. They decided to be adventurous and split an order of escargot. "They were so spiced up with butter, nutmeg, onion, and garlic, it could have been mushroom caps, for all I knew." She had chilled cream of cucumber soup and he had Rhode Island clam chowder. They shared a Caesar salad. "The waiter made the dressing right in front of us!" They decided to share steak au poiuvrè and coquilles St. Jacques. "The waiter put our sparkling water in champagne flutes!". They shared a dessert soufflé that has half chocolate, half Grand Marnier. "I guess it's okay to eat alcohol, just not drink it. Just about everything had wine or spirits in it." After the concert, they got carryout coffee walked down the beach barefoot. "When we got back to the boardwalk, we went to sit at a bench and he out my shoes on for me like I was Cinderella and he was the prince!"

When Aisling slipped away to buy their lunchtime pizza, Hogan confided that she had called the restaurant earlier yesterday and asked them to pay special attention to the kids.

Later that afternoon, Matt Skinner, his partner, and his partner's twin sons came walking by and stopped to talk for a few minutes. CJ laughed to herself when she noticed the death stare that the lifeguard on duty gave the two young men who engaged in casual conversation with Aisling.

That evening, Hogan was out with her girlfriends again, so they put Paddy in his carriage and they went up the boardwalk to eat in the open-air casual restaurant attached to one of the big boardwalk luxury hotels. Without Hogan, CJ realized that they did very much look like a family with a later in life "pleasant surprise" or one with a second wife who got along well with her stepdaughter. When Becky Rieseman, who was staying at the hotel, stopped their table, they found out that they had been spotted by other shore visitors from inside the Beltway and that there was all sorts of speculation and gossip about Danny's teen-aged daughter. However, she was sure that Carol and Margaret were setting the rumor mills aright; if not, she would take care of it herself. CJ decided that she didn't give a tinker's dam. These past days with Ash and Hogan felt good, felt right; God and all Her saints forbid, if anything happened to Erin and Robin and they had to assume guardianship of Aisling for a few years, all three of them would do fine.

Becky volunteered the use of her room to CJ, so Danny and Aisling went to watch the volleyball games while she fed and changed her son. Then the three of them went to the arcades, played a round of miniature golf, and went to Funland. They took Paddy with them on the carousel and in the tunnel of horrors, but took turns on the Ferris wheel and the bumper cars.

Shortly before midnight, they stumbled into the house; Hogan was already home, her right foot up on a chair with an ice pack on her ankle. No, she didn't need to go the ER, a nice third-year resident at Penn who did his MD work with Ellie Faison at Hopkins was in the club when she sprained it and he checked out the situation, went with them to the all-night pharmacy to help pick out the bandages, and wrapped it for her. He would stop by tomorrow morning to check on her again. Did she mention that the guy was a nice, single third-year resident at the University of Pennsylvania Hospital?

They had originally planned to leave the next day but with losing a day due to the deaths of the governors and with Mark's invitation, CJ and Danny decided to stay for two more nights.

The next two days passed relatively uneventfully. They bought salt-water taffy and other souvenirs for their neighbors, for the Lymans, for Carol and Margaret. The guy from Penn came by quite often to check on and spend time with Hogan. Matt Skinner's partner's kids kept coming by to see Hogan, recreating in Danny's words "the scene in 'Gone with the Wind' with Scarlett and the Tarleton twins". Ash was polite, but it was obvious that she wasn't about to get involved in another summer romance, much to the delight of the lifeguards who felt the need to protect what they perceived as Mike's girl.

Danny made reservations for himself and CJ for their last evening at the same restaurant to which Mike took Aisling. Robin had flown a scheduled trip over to Dulles earlier that day, had hopped a commuter flight to Salisbury, and rented a car. He would take the girls to dinner and to a movie.

They had a 9:00 reservation and she waited until the last minute to feed her son. While she was doing so, she looked out the bedroom door to see Danny with the baby-sitter. He looked so nice in a green linen blazer, a pale yellow open-collared shirt, white dress jeans and camel sandals.

When she came into the living room, he whistled and asked the baby-sitter to take a picture of them. When CJ and Hogan had gone to the Outlet Mall, she found a spaghetti strap sundress in turquoise. At the Hanes/Bali outlet, she bought a molded strapless bra that she could line with nursing pads. One of the shops on Rehoboth Ave sold southwestern jewelry and she purchased silver earrings, a necklace, and bracelets set with inlays of carnelian, malachite, and lapis lazuli. She loosely pulled her hair back with a silver barrette. Off-white huarache sandals completed the outfit.

Looking at the menu, she could see that Aisling had taken the advice that CJ and Hogan had given her to heart. The items she had chosen weren't the least expensive, but they were definitely on the lower third of the menu, price wise. She decided that she was in one of her relatively rare red meat moods and they chose rack of lamb, with mussels, the cold cucumber soup, and a mesclun salad to start, and pinot noir to drink.

They were having coffee and cognac, waiting for their white chocolate soufflé with raspberry coulis when Greg Brock came to their table with a woman he introduced as one of the restaurant critics for the _Baltimore Sun_.

Like Tad Whitney, Greg commented on how different she looked than when she was in the Press Room, but his tone was completely respectful. He congratulated them on their marriage, asked about the baby and Danny promptly pulled out his picture folio. After another minute, the maitre d' let the couple know that their table was ready. Greg shook Danny's hand and reached down to kiss CJ's cheek. "None of the rest of us ever had a chance, did we? Happiness always," he whispered.

She watched Danny watch the other man walk away and she knew he would never ask. She picked up his hand, kissed the palm. "Nothing, never."

"I wasn't asking."

"I know; you never would." She told him what he said. "And he was right. Somewhere deep in my mind I always knew that you had me caught, that you were just waiting for me to let myself be reeled in."

They lingered over their coffee, dessert, and cognac, then walked back via the beach. The wind picked up and Danny put his jacket around CJ's shoulders.

They weren't the youngest couple walking down the beach in the moonlight, but neither were they the oldest. Every 30 or 40 feet, a couple stood kissing. At times, they caught the eye of another couple walking in the opposite direction and smiled slightly.

About a block from the house, they returned to the boardwalk and sat on a bench facing the ocean. She held his hand to her lips and his lips were against the side of her head. They could have stayed there for hours but nature in the form of increasingly full breasts called.

The next morning, they packed, and then followed Robin to the Salisbury airport so he could turn in his rental. As they were leaving, Danny looked down at the mileage and realized that in the past twelve days, they had only put sixty-eight miles on the vehicle. They had walked or biked just about everywhere.

At one point on the drive back to Washington, Danny noticed that the three women were all sleeping, so he quietly let Robin know about Mike and how he had handled the issues. He hoped he had done what Robin would have done, had not overstepped any bounds, especially the advice about kissing and the curfews he had set. His brother-in-law reinforced what his sister had said, that they were much more concerned about Fiona, especially now that she would be at Trinity in Dublin this year. She had wanted to go to Scotland, to St. Andrew's, but they insisted she stay in the country. "My crazy aunt Sorcha says she'll eventually settle down when the right man comes along, that she won't do any serious damage to herself, but we still worry." He told Danny that he secretly agreed with him about the bathing suits, and was amused that the young man had steered his daughter to a more modest suit even though "they weren't at the stage where he wanted to keep certain things for himself, thank God."

They dropped Hogan at the Navy Yard, where she would get a bed and visit with some classmates until they would leave for California the day after tomorrow, then checked into a hotel near Josh and Donna's.

Robin took his daughter sightseeing (the Concannons had arranged with Margaret for passes and a tour of the White House) while CJ and Danny, having called beforehand, went to see Donna and little Noah.

Donna reminded Danny of CJ during her first few weeks of motherhood; she looked totally exhausted but was also totally glowing. Josh's mother had been with them since Donna came home and would be there for a few more days. Donna's parents would be there for two weeks and then Mrs. Lyman would come back for another month.

Ginger was in town when CJ and Danny called, Donna asked Ginger to come by at the same time. Danny took pictures of the three mothers with their babies.

The three new mothers talked for a while. Donna told them that she had been frightened when her doctor decided to do the C-section but that Josh had been wonderful, had actually been in the operating room and had been perfectly wonderful about everything. She was totally in love with her son.

Margaret had tried to take as much off Josh's plate as possible, but things were still tense over the assassinations and he was unable to get away that evening. He phoned and asked them to stop by the White House tomorrow so they could see him, Margaret and Carol.

Knowing how tiring the first few days could be, CJ, Danny, and Ginger kept their visit short. As they were leaving, Ginger invited CJ, Danny, Aisling, and Robin to dinner that evening. "The kids' nanny can care of Paddy while we eat and visit."

"You really want to go to all that fuss, with so little notice? " CJ aksed.

"**I** won't be fussing, the cook and the housekeeper will," Ginger reminded them.

Robin was scheduled for an early flight the next morning, so he declined, and Aisling decided to stay with her father. They said their good-byes before leaving for Ginger's. Both CJ and Danny thanked her for all her help. CJ gave her the green dress she had borrowed for her dinner with Mike ("It looks so nice on you, it matches your eyes") and Danny gave her some delicate emerald lever back earrings.

The next morning, they took Paddy to the offices of the _Post_ and Danny once more was in his element as proud husband and father, beaming as he showed off his wife and his son to his former editors and colleagues. Taking note of CJ's face reflected in the baby's someone teasingly asked Danny if he was sure the boy was his. Someone else immediately pointed out that Paddy's hands were already going into the same "at rest" state that Danny's did. CJ and Danny just laughed. No one else needed to know about the "cute little mole" that graced the left buttock of both father and son.

At the White House, they asked for Carol but for some reason, she wouldn't be coming in until after noon. Rina escorted them to Josh's office, where they congratulated the new father. Margaret was now officially Deputy Chief of Staff and as they were walking to her office, they ran into the First Lady, who made the appropriate oohs and aahs over Paddy.

Rina knocked on Margaret's door and opened it. They saw John Hoynes quickly pull away from Margaret's side and CJ and Danny exchanged glances, remembering several occasions when they had been caught in a similar situation themselves.

For old time's sake, they stood in the back of the Press Room during one of the briefings and were warmly welcomed by the Corps. Some of the guys invited Danny to have a beer with them and CJ told him to go, reminding him of their dinner plans with Chris and her new husband. She would see Carol and then catch a cab back to the hotel.

She returned to Josh's (and her old) office to see that Carol was back, surrounded by Margaret, Ronna, Rina, and Helen Santos. When the group broke apart for her, she could see the delicate marquise diamond in a platinum Tiffany setting that graced Carol's left hand. Apparently, the question had been popped last night and the ring selected this morning.

CJ handed her son to Margaret and hugged Carol, squeeing in happiness for her former assistant. Carol whispered in her ear "Would you be my matron of honor? We're looking at the third weekend in May." CJ told her she would be glad to do so.

The wedding would be here in DC. Carol's father had died two years ago; there was just her mom and some second cousins as far as family went. Her friends were her family.

Carol asked where Danny was, seemed a little disappointed that he wasn't there.

They were getting ready for dinner when the phone rang in their room.

"Hey, Carol." Pause. "Yes, early dinner and then an early night." Pause. "Sure thing." She put her hand over the receiver. "Danny, Carol wants to speak with you."

He took the phone. "Hey, doll face. I understand best wishes are in order. You make sure he knows that he's the lucky one and that you have a bunch of us that will make sure he treats you right." Pause. "If it's within my power, you've got it. What can I do for you?" Pause. Then, with a slight catch in his voice, "Carol, it would be my honor and my privilege." Pause. "You, too. Stay happy."

He hung up the phone and turned to CJ. She could see a glimmer of tears in his eyes.

"Next spring, when she and State Department guy get married, she asked me to escort her down the aisle. Did you know she was going to?"

CJ hugged her husband. "No, I didn't. She's always been on your side; she knew you were right for me probably before I did. She did ask me to be her matron of honor, but she said nothing about asking you. She has good taste and good judgment."

The next day, they got to Dulles early to get Hogan on the military stand-by list for their flight. They had cashed in all their miles to upgrade their seats to first-class and, checking with Robin's and Erin's friends in the industry, had made their reservations on a flight that historically was only half-full. With any luck, they would have the bulkhead row and the one behind it on the north facing side of the plane to themselves.

They had two hours to wait and were seated in a restaurant eating breakfast; CJ was walking back from the restroom. She had just reached the table when someone called out "CJ? CJ Cregg?"

She turned around and Danny looked up to see her hugging a tall handsome black man with iron-grey hair. When she broke away to face him at the table, he could see the clerical collar and the pin in the shape of a chalice emblazoned with the skewed red cross that denoted the Disciples of Christ denomination.

"Wow! CJ Cregg, after all these years!" Then, noticing her rings, Danny, and the baby, "or now?"

"Concannon. My husband, Danny. Our son, Paddy," she took the baby from the carrier, showed him to the man, "my niece Lt. Hogan Cregg. (Hogan was in uniform since she was flying on military stand-by). Paul Reeves, I guess I should say Reverend Paul Reeves."

Then she looked directly at Danny, who had stood up when she began the introductions. "This is Paul."

With those three words, Danny knew exactly who the man was and the minister knew that Danny knew exactly who he was. He was the then first-year law student who, during CJ's sophomore year at Cal, lovingly, gently, with as little pain as possible, took her to womanhood; who, for the rest of that year and the next, taught her so much of what Danny enjoyed with her now. Then Paul had a change in calling and transferred to Yale Divinity School.

The two men looked directly into each other's eyes, shaking hands, saying so many words with their stares.

"I can tell you've made her happy; you're deserving of her."

"Thank you for being so good to her, good for her, back then."

Paul looked again at Danny. "You were the reporter that was always playing with her at the briefings." Of course, he watched the briefings; he was sure that many of her friends from those days did, she was the local girl made good. "I've been in south-east Asia building houses and hospitals since September of 2006, hadn't heard anything, seen any alumni news. I know you managed Bartlet's White House, but tell me how you and Danny became you and Danny."

The two of them caught up on each other's lives. He had married right out of Div. School, had twins, a boy and a girl. His son was at Oberlin, his daughter at Miami of Ohio. They were with his sister-in-law in Columbus for the summer. He had lost his wife to ovarian cancer three years ago (which was part of why he went into missionary work), he missed her every day, was sure he would never marry again. He had a picture of the four of them, taken on a once-in-a-lifetime cruise to Alaska right after she had been diagnosed.

He asked about the Jerusalem cross about her neck and seemed pleased that she had found a way to bring religion into her adult life. He mentioned that before he had embarked on his missionary work, he had taught at his denomination's theological seminary in Lexington, KY, and had met many fine Catholic religious leaders (the diocese had contracted with the school for advanced theological training) with whom he still remained close. She asked about his current work and he explained that he found true peace and contentment in the building process.

"As is attributed to your St. Francis, 'Always preach the gospel; use words only if absolutely necessary.' It's the best way to do what He would want."

She told him about "Road to a Better World" and his eyes lit up. "You're doing God's work, too, CJ, in your own way."

Danny watched them, a smile on his face. Except to show Paul the picture of CJ from their wedding, he pretty much stayed out of the conversation. He thought about the two young freshmen women he had initiated (one when he was a junior, one when he was a senior) and hoped that he had done as well for them as this man had done for his Jeanie. Both of them had married Domers (men in their own classes) and he always looked for word of them in the alumni magazine. For a while, he had exchanged Christmas cards with one of them, but eventually lost touch. It wasn't surprising that he had never run into them at South Bend, since there was no Homecoming Weekend as such, and their classes weren't on the same five-year reunion cycle.

Hogan watched Danny watching CJ and Paul. She could sense that there was something special between the minister and her aunt; she could also sense that her uncle by marriage had no problem with that special bond. She excused herself and went to the restroom.

Paul needed to get to his gate for his flight to Columbus; he was on his way to visit his kids before returning to Jakarta. She took out one of her cards, scribbled their home phone and home email address on the back. He found a scrap of paper and gave her his email. They hugged again, kissed each other's cheeks, and he took off down the concourse.

CJ looked at her husband, quickly checking to see that everything was okay. Danny smiled at her. "He seems like a great guy; I'm glad he was there for you."

Hogan returned and they went to their gate. They had no problem getting Hogan on the flight in first class, nor did they have any problem with getting the two rows to themselves.

Their flight to Los Angeles was uneventful. Paddy only cried once, and feeding him took care of that. Frank Muñoz met them at the airport with his son Mike in tow.

As they were driving back to Santa Monica, the boy turned around to face them.

"I'm glad you're back, Miss CJ, Mr. Danny. Did you miss being here at the beach?" He didn't understand why they were laughing.


	37. Auld Lang Syne

**Auld Lang Syne**

CJ/Danny, mentions of Toby and Nancy, someone else

This started out as one thing and became something completely out of left field, so the "one thing" is still waiting to be written. Unfortunately, it means that Donna needs to sit tight for a little while longer.

Warning – recurring "character" (if that's the right term) death

Rating : Mature/Adult for activity and languare

**Please note:**

The sexual events in this story take place in flashbacks to right before the time when some public health officials had just begun to notice what seemed to be cases of a rare form of cancer in otherwise healthy homosexual men and had just started talking about something called GRID -- Gay Related Immune Disorder. I am by no means advocating that anyone should imitate what Brianna and Danny, CJ and Paul did in less treacherous times. Nor am I advocating breaking the laws regarding underage drinking (although those of us who learned how to respect alcohol at our family tables and under the eyes of our parents while in restaurants seem to do better with it than those for whom it is totally "forbidden fruit" for 21 years). It was the end of a simpler era, one of "auld lang syne".

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

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Late September 2009 Santa Monica CA

Danny pulled into the garage, got out of the Mustang (he preferred that CJ use his car when driving with Paddy rather than the convertible), and picked up his briefcase and overnight case. The garage door was shutting as he walked into the courtyard. He hurried across the open space and into the family room.

"Honey?" he called.

"Hush," he heard her stage-whisper voice coming from the bedroom. "I just got Paddy to sleep."

He walked into the bedroom and then into the sunny yellow nursery. "I missed you," he wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her neck. Then he reached into the crib and stroked the sleeping baby. "I missed you, too, male child mine. Were you a good boy for your mama and Uncle Hank?"

He had been in New York for one day to meet with his publisher and with Mrs. Fitzwallace, flying up the night before yesterday on the red eye, then meeting all day and most of the evening. He got the first flight out this morning. It was the first time he had to leave CJ overnight with the baby and he had been concerned. He had asked one of the guys to stay with her, to help with the baby; he phoned her 4 times yesterday to make sure everything was going okay. If it weren't for the time differences, he would have called before leaving New York earlier today.

"He was fine. He was a little fussy when Hank was feeding him, but eventually he took the entire bottle. With any luck, we'll have the teen club kids back by the end of the week." A nasty intestinal virus was working its way through the group of young women who helped out after school and they were temporarily without outside help.

He turned CJ around, intending to pull her into the bedroom and take advantage of the 90 minutes they hopefully had. It was then that he noticed her red-rimmed eyes.

"Sweetheart?" He put a hand to either side of her face, looked into those sad eyes. "What is it?"

She led him into the family room.

"When I woke up this morning and came in here, there she was, just just - just lying there."

She stopped by the table behind the sofa and he could see Gail floating on her side at the top of her fishbowl.

Then his eyes started stinging and he pulled her into a big hug. "Ah, honey."

"I know that she was really old for a fish, I mean, almost 11 years, but still –."

"I know." And he did know what she was feeling. Gail had meant so much for them during those seven years in the White House. The fish was symbolic of his stated intention to wait for her, to make her part of his life when she was free of her self-imposed duty. Gail was the child he would someday give her, the child that now slept peacefully some 30 feet away from where they were standing.

He thought of his utter sorrow when Pistol died and while the attachment between the two of them and the little goldfish was not as deep as that between boy and dog, this was more than an inconvenience.

"Danny, I don't want to make a huge fuss, but I can't just flush- "

"Why don't we wrap her in one of the elephant ear leaves and bury her by the fountain? Maybe put some of her decorations there?"

"One or two; we'll keep the rest. Do you think that we could get two fish this time? I was thinking today, we never gave her a chance for a family, or even just a friend."

"You want more fish?"

"Not right away; maybe in two or three weeks, I'll find us a nice fish couple."

"When you're ready, I'll take care of it."

"Danny, you've got a book to write, a column to write, two classes to teach, and two classes to take. You've got enough to do."

"And one of those things is giving you goldfish." In his mind, some things were his responsibility. Ensuring her safety when she traveled. Taking care of her car. Cleaning the gutters. Doing the driving in nasty weather or on the tricky parts of the road. Answering the door at night or when they weren't expecting anyone. Impregnating her (and all the fun that went along with it). Buying her goldfish.

They went into the courtyard. CJ went to get a hand spade while Danny got the leaf, gently scooped Gail's body from the bowl, and wrapped her in the leaf. She dug into the soil around the fountain in the center of the courtyard and they buried the fish, pulling one of the dahlia plants over the grave.

Back to the family room, Danny looked over the mail. She went to the kitchen, came back with some grapes and iced tea.

They were about to head for the bedroom when the phone rang. CJ sighed and reached over to answer it.

"Hello? Oh, hi, Robin. How's everything going with you guys? How does Fee like being at Trinity?" Pause. "Well, I guess that's a good sign." Pause. "Sure thing, he's right here." She handed the phone to Danny.

"Hey, guy, whassup?" Pause. Then, his voice breaking. "Oh, Geez. How? When?" Pause. "I'll call over there later this week, explain that we can't come for the funeral, can't travel that far with the baby. Give Angus and their kids our love. Kiss Erin and Ash for me."

Hanging up, he turned to CJ, who was sitting beside him on the couch, concerned about the apparent bad news her husband just received from his brother-in-law.

"Brianna and Hugh Stewart are dead. They were out sailing when a sudden squall came up, capsized the boat. They found the bodies this morning."

Then he buried his face in her shoulder and shed hot tears for the woman who, when she was a 26-year old widow, had shown him things every man should know; and for her second husband, the man who, according to some diehard royalist/ nationalists, should have been king of an independent Scotland.

It was the summer between his freshmen and sophomore years at Notre Dame. He had just turned nineteen. He was newly orphaned; his father had died the previous March, probably of a broken heart (his mother had died ten months earlier). Erin and Robin had been married for two years. They didn't think Danny should be by himself, but Erin was still flying and their schedules were haphazard. So Robin arranged with his uncle Angus for Danny to stay with him in Scotland and work in the family whiskey business.

It was really interesting work; he could write about it next fall in his articles for the student newspaper. Danny enjoyed being with his brother-in-law's extended family. The small village in the Scottish highlands where the distillery and estate were located was a blend of Brigadoon and the modern world.

In mid-June, Angus mentioned that his older daughter, who had recently been widowed (her husband died in an avalanche while skiing in Gstaad the past January), would be coming to visit. ("She thinks his parents blame her for getting him interested in the sport and she canna stand to watch their pain.") Angus was concerned about his daughter. She and Jeremiah Ogilvie, who had been 12 years older than she, had been a real love match. "Jem took to her when she was 10 and they married at 17 because he couldn't wait any longer for her. They were planning to start on a bairn when he died. I ken she has ta grieve, but she has her whole life ahead of her."

The next day, when Danny returned from the distillery, he heard the sounds of "Coming through the Rye" being picked out on the parlor piano. When he looked inside, he saw a china doll sitting at it. He had heard the phrase "alabaster skin" but he never knew what it meant until now. The young woman was petite, with black hair halfway down her back that managed to have glints of silver in it as she moved her head to the music.

He must have made some noise, because she stopped and looked up with eyes that were as blue as his own. "It must be Robin's wee brother-in-law," she said with her father's brogue. "I'm Brianna Ogilvie of the MacDonalds of Sleat, Robin's cousin. That must make us some kind of relation, but I dinna ken what it could be."

"I'm Danny. Daniel Concannon of the Galway Concannons." He smiled, giving her a formal introduction in return for hers. "In some parts of America, they would call us kissing cousins." Where did **that** come from?

She got up from the piano and laughed. He could hear the brooks of the glens in her laugh as she walked over to him.

She reached up and planted a relatively chaste kiss, her lips open but nothing else, on his mouth. "I like that term, Daniel Concannon of the Galway Concannon's."

He was a generation removed from the auld sod, but he could do an Irish lilt to match her brogue. "An' do ye now, Miss, I mean Mrs. Ogilvie?" He remembered her recent widowhood and flushed with embarrassment for having flirted with her. "I apologize. And I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine losing a spouse. You must miss your husband very much."

Her eyes became a little duller; he could sense a mantle of sadness draping over her, but still she teased. "Don't ever be calling me that again. Mrs. Ogilvie is me mam-in-law. Aye, I miss my Jem. Our nine years together seems as but a single season now. I thank you for your kind thoughts. And you, losing your da and your ma within the year or so. Ye must feel as alone as I do at times."

He thanked her, admitted that he did. "We were never very close to my parents' families. Now it's just me and Erin."

"Ah, but now you're a kissing cousin to Clan MacDonald. We're a terrible bunch altogether, there'll be times when ye'll wish we weren't so friendly. Will ye be here in mid-August? There'll be a gathering; we'll introduce ye to The MacDonald himself and get you formally adopted." He loved the way she slipped in and out of the brogue, as if some teacher had tried for years to drill it out of her and almost succeeded, but not entirely.

For the next six days, they spoke with each other occasionally. Danny was really busy in the distillery; Brianna kept to herself other than mealtime and when she was visiting with girlhood friends. Some evenings, Angus, Brianna, and Danny would play three-handed bridge. Sometimes, she would play the piano. Other evenings, he would meet the other young men of the village in the pub.

On the seventh day, Angus received a call from his sister Sorcha. She wanted to come visit but she had sprained her ankle and needed a ride. Angus left that evening; he would stay overnight and would be back the next afternoon with Sorcha.

That evening after supper, as they were playing gin, Brianna started asking Danny about Notre Dame. She was especially interested in the women. Did they seem to enjoy their studies? Did they feel as if they needed to compromise their intelligence in order to appeal to the men?

Jem had wanted to send her through university. He wanted her to be fulfilled, to be a truly modern woman. They had married when she was 17 because they had been drawn to each other for seven years and that had been long enough, but he wasn't looking for merely a housekeeper, a bedmate, a mother of children. It was she who decided that she wanted to be with him constantly; almost as if she knew somewhere deep in the recesses of her mind that she would not have him for long. He was the one who had wanted to wait to start their family; she would have preferred conceiving right away. They had planned to spend the first night back from the trip to Gstaad poking holes in her diaphragm; they had been hoping for a baby before Christmas. Now, she said with tears escaping down her cheeks, she had inherited much of his fortune and she was thinking she should belatedly get the education he had wanted her to have. She missed him so much.

Danny was a sucker for tears, but he didn't get upset at the idea of a woman crying. He did what he usually did – put an arm around her and let her cry herself out at her own pace.

When she finished, she sniffed, reached up and kissed his cheek, saying, "I'm sure that this is such a boring summer for you, spending your days tending to peat fires and barley mash and your nights with an old man and his sniveling lass, listening to her blathering."

"I've always been a good listener. Girls say that about me." He smiled.

"That you are, lad, that you are." She reached up to kiss him again, but this time he moved his head and she ended up kissing his mouth.

Then he returned her kiss. "Oh, laddie, where did ye learn to kiss like that?" she murmured as she briefly broke away before returning her mouth to his.

She wasn't that bad a kisser either, Danny thought as his body reacted and he pulled her closer. Damn, these jeans are tight.

When his right hand slipped of its own accord from the side of her face to her neck and then to the side of her breast, she suddenly stood up from the couch.

"I'm sorry, I had no right," he began to stammer. He was a guest in her father's house, for heaven's sake.

But Brianna took his hand, and, moving backward, pulled him to his feet. "Come upstairs with me, Daniel Concannon of the Concannons of Galway."

His feet moved but he was hesitant. "Brianna, I'm not – "

"Hush, your body doesn't lie," she said, looking pointedly at his groin and continuing to pull him to the steps.

As she started walking backward up the stairs, her eyes never leaving his face, he tried again to let her know that while he might be a very good kisser he might disappoint beyond that. "I've never done this – "

"Then it's a good thing I have," she smiled, continuing to pull him up to the second floor. "I'll show you the way."

He had to learn sometime and, truth be told, he might have just the smallest little crush on this particular teacher. He had one more concern. "I don't have anything. What if you get preg – "

"My diaphragm, with no holes, is still in my suitcase; I won't."

By this time, they were in her room, the door shut and locked. She was sitting on the bed, still holding his hand. He was standing in front of her.

She looked up at him. "We'll be good for each other, Daniel Concannon of the Galway Concannons," she whispered.

And Danny sat down beside her, nervous and excited about what was going to happen tonight. "H'kay".

Danny figured he had been to third base ("or at least to shortstop"). He had removed a girl's blouse and her brassiere and kissed her breasts. He still needed two hands to undo the back hook type, but he could do it without having to turn the girl around. He had put his hands inside a girl's underwear and touched her, but had never seen a girl completely naked in an intimate setting. A girl had reached inside his pants and briefs and stroked him, but he had never ejaculated into anyone's hand other than his own.

He took to heart the idea that what occurred between a guy and a girl, a man and a woman, was private, for them alone, and had not engaged in many bull sessions in the dorm. When asked about his exploits, he took refuge in his smile, not realizing that his smile was interpreted by most of the guys and many of the girls as implying knowledge and experience he did not have. Yes, he had read all the books, even seen some pictures from the _Kama Sutra_, but this would be a first for him.

She kissed him and pulled off his T-shirt, then his shoes and his socks.

He kissed her, moved his hands to her blouse buttons, and waited until she nodded her head to undo them. He kissed her neck and shoulders and she made appreciative sounds. When he was going too slowly for her tastes, she crossed her arms in front of her and pushed her bra straps from her shoulders. He stopped her hands and took over.

She unsnapped his jeans and removed them and his briefs, touched him and called him silk. He unzipped her skirt, but she wouldn't let him remove her half-slip. Instead, she guided his hand up under it to her underwear. They were cotton, like her bra, and felt to be full cut. Obviously, she hadn't planned a seduction when she got dressed this morning.

"Please take them off," she whispered, lying back and lifting her hips off the bed.

He smiled (Sweet Lord, she thought, did he have any idea how he looked when he smiled?) and then laughed at himself as he had trouble maneuvering the cloth from waist over both hips.

They stretched out alongside each other and began to kiss again. He reached for her breast and she put a hand on his hand, adjusting the pressure and showing him what she liked. Her hands on his shoulders, on his back, on his butt felt good and when she asked him if there was anything special he liked, he told her quite honestly that he didn't know what he liked or disliked, she should do what felt good to her husband and he would let her know if anything felt bad.

He reached for her slip and she stilled his hand, left the bed for the bathroom attached to her room, and picked up a small case on the way.

He didn't think she intended it, but the bathroom door had a full-length mirror on it and the angle enabled him to watch her. She removed a round object from the case, inspected it, and covered it with some sort of Vaseline-type substance (he later found out it was a spermicidal jelly). Then, in profile to the mirror, she put the leg nearest the door on the commode seat and curved her back so that her head was almost to her breasts. She slipped the round object between her legs. As it and her hand disappeared from his sight, he saw her trunk move slightly. Then she lowered her leg, rinsed her hands, and returned to him on the bed. Looking down at him and then at the slip, she softly told him "Now ye can take it off."

For the first time, he was naked with a naked woman. He trailed his fingers down her stomach toward her curls. She opened her legs to him and he reached into her center. It felt so different than before; in the past the girls would open their legs only slightly and he could touch with only one or two fingers moving freely. Now he was touching Brianna with his hand out flat, marveling at the warmth and wetness under his palm, the folds under his fingers.

He began to move said fingers and was promptly stopped by her hand over his. She arranged them differently, had them move differently. "Watch my face, watch me, Danny," she whispered. "Always watch her. She may be too shy to show you, to tell ye what's best for her, but her face won't lie, her body won't lie."

When he knew what to do, she put her hands on his shoulders, reached up to kiss him. Then she continued to stroke his body, giving him verbal hints and instructions. ("Move your thumb a little harder, put two fingers inside me slowly, yes, yes, stop right **there, **and press up. Oh, yes, oh, yes, yes!")

When, a few minutes later, she stiffened, pressed up against his hand, then melted back into the bed and looked up at him, he asked her, "Did you just?" She smiled and nodded her head, and she became the first recipient of what several women would come to know -- the beatific smile that started on his mouth, spread to his eyes, and then become the glorious self-satisfied grin that could only be described as "shit-eating".

"Come to me, Daniel Concannon of the Galway Concannons," she whispered, and he moved between her legs. She guided him to her entrance and shifted her hips toward him. And Danny Concannon reached home plate.

He could not believe the warmth, the heat, the clutching around him. He moved out slightly, and back in, out again. As he moved in a third time, he exploded inside her and collapsed on her body, one of her hands stroking his head, the other moving from his back to his butt.

He didn't know much, but he knew enough that it shouldn't have ended so soon, and he said something to that effect, apologizing.

She laughed, not at him but at the situation. "Ah, laddie, that's been waiting for how long, how many years? Ye're young; ye'll be ready again soon. In the meantime, we can get some more tutoring in, aye?"

She got up and walked again to the bathroom, where she washed herself and did something with the jelly and a plunger-type thing, inserting the plunger-type thing inside her.

"Were you aware that I could see what you were doing, the way the door and the mirror are positioned?"

Brianna said she wasn't, asked what he thought about what he saw. He told her he thought she was beautiful and that sometime, he would like to watch her "do that from the front." She laughed and kissed him, asked him if he needed to use her bathroom.

He realized that he did. He could hear her light laugh as he shut the door and turned on the faucets in the sink before relieving himself. He knew she wasn't laughing at him, not really. Afterwards, remembering what she had done, he used her washcloth to remove the traces of himself from his genitalia and groin.

He looked at himself in the mirror, trying to see if he looked any different. By some standards, he was now a man.

When he returned, he started to get beside her, but she had him sit on the bed facing her ("Far away enough that you can see everything, but near enough to touch"). Then, spreading her legs and with the help of the hand mirror she had taken from her dresser, she proceeded to give him one of the most thorough anatomy lessons ever given outside of a medical school. She showed him what she liked, but she also showed him what other girls liked ("or so they tell me, I don't have that kind of knowledge from personal experience, ye ken?"). She showed him where a lot of pressure would be good and where to be careful. ("It feels good at first, but too much, and the puir wee lass will have a bladder infection, and ye'll have a case of blue balls.")

After about 30 minutes, he reached over, took the mirror from her hand, smiled at her ("Damn, the lad has an awesome smile, too terrible altogether"), pushed her down on the bed, and said it was time for recess.

He didn't remember everything but Danny had always been told he was a fast learner and Brianna only had to coach him a little this time. And this time he managed to move eight times within her before he climaxed.

She woke up early the next morning a little before sunrise to see him lying on his side. "I was watching you sleep. You have the cutest little snore."

"Lesson three needs to be sweet-talking, I see." She reached for him and looked under the sheet. "Is that for me or is that for the bathroom?"

His mouth came down on hers ("Go to the head of the class, Daniel Concannon"). "I've already been to the bathroom."

After a few minutes, she pulled away from him. "Don't ye be going anywhere," she stared pointedly at his groin.

When she returned, he was half propped up against the headboard; she carried the diaphragm in her hand. She placed her right leg on the edge of the mattress and stared into his eyes as she inserted it into herself. Then she climbed onto the bed, over his legs and straddled him.

She led his right hand to her center, right above where they were joined, and showed (and told) him what to do with his thumb and forefinger. By being on top, she was able to control the situation and she was able to keep him in check until she was ready.

And Daniel Concannon of the Galway Concannons hit his first home run.

If the feel of climaxing inside her was something he couldn't have imagined twelve hours ago, the feel of climaxing inside her while she climaxed around him stretched the bounds of all that was imaginable. And the look on her face exploded those bounds beyond the universe. He vowed right then that he would learn to do this right, to control himself and to bring a woman to her critical point, so that this would be something that would not be a rarity in his life.

Afterward, she told him that when her father returned, they would have to be extremely discreet. "I'll not be rubbing his face in it, ye ken?" Luckily, there were many places on the property they could use.

Then, she looked at him, took his face in both her hands.

"And ye are not to be falling in love with me, Daniel Concannon of the Concannons of Galway. I'm not the lass for ye. I don't know if there'll be another lad for me, but if there is to be, ye are not him. Ye're a dear sweet lad and the woman who is waiting somewhere for ye is one of the luckiest lasses in the world, but we are not meant one for the other. Tell me ye understand."

Sadly, he nodded his head. Somehow, he knew she spoke the truth. And somehow, he knew that somewhere, there **was** another man for her, someone worldlier than he was now. But he was glad that fate had brought him here to her father's; what was just a job was now summer school at its best.

That afternoon, when he came back from the distillery, there was a bag on his bed. Inside were seven pairs of boxers, a note ("Most of us like these better"), and a rough map ("5:30 pm").

For the first three weeks, when they found time and a place to be together, their pattern resembled that first night. He gradually increased his control on the first time, but it was on the second, the third (and a few times, the fourth) that she taught him what he needed to know. How to move and tease against her core. What angles to use for which positions. How to find the other places on a woman's body that could have a direct line of excitement to that core.

He asked her how he could keep himself in check and she told him she remembered her husband saying something about a "Periodic Table of Elements" and naming all the clans of Scotland along with the colors of their plaids. He decided on Latin declensions and state capitols.

She taught him the difference between "hard" ("it's primal, it's pounding, it's thrusting, it's noisy"), which was okay, and "rough" ("it's demeaning, it's disrespectful, it's debasing"), which was not, and how to stay on the right side of the sometimes thin line between them. "You should always make sure she's ready to receive you, but especially when you are going to go into her in one swoop, make sure she's wet, make sure she's relaxed. You're thicker than most, Danny, make sure she can take three fingers, separate them."

And all her instructions used the third person feminine. She never said "I" or "me". It was always, "make sure **she**" or "caress **her** here". "**She** may be comfortable with the earthy words, **she** may want the fairy-tale words, **she** may just give you a look; but whether **she** says 'Fuck me' or 'Make love to me' or just looks at you, it's you **she** wants, it's you **she** wants to please, to satisfy." Always reminding him that she wasn't doing this just for herself, although she was very happy, very content. To some extent, she wasn't doing it just for him; she was doing it for the future women in his life, for the woman who would one day be Mrs. Daniel Concannon of the Galway Concannons.

But she was also doing it for him. She taught him things he didn't know about his own body, things he could show someone else to do for him, with her hands, with her mouth, with her tongue, with her teeth, with her hair, with her feet.

One night in late July, when her father and her aunt were over in Inverness for the weekend attending a wedding to which only a few family members were invited, they spent the night in her bed. They had just finished making love for the second time; he was stroking her hair as she came down from their mutual climax, when she softly whispered, "Ah my Jemmie, I miss ye so!"

For a millisecond, his hand froze, but he immediately realized that it was no reflection on him. It was a sign of how much she cared for the man she had married and lost. For the first of what would be many times in his life, he sublimated his hurt in order to deal with the pain, to deal with the needs, of a woman for whom he deeply cared; he continued to stroke her hair, murmured meaningless but soothing sounds into her ear.

After a minute, she looked up at him with guilt, sorrow, and embarrassment in her eyes. "Oh, Danny, I'm sorry, I dinna mean –".

He put a hand over her lips. "I know; it's okay." Then he reached over to her nightstand, opened the top drawer, and took out the picture he knew sat on the table when he wasn't in her bed. It was from her honeymoon on Minorca. Her face showed contentment and wonder, his love and satisfaction.

"Tell me about Jem."

"I think we were fated for each other.Jemmie, that was just twixt me and him; he called me BREE-a-nuh, that was my name twixt the two o' us." She touched the face under the glass. "Danny, ye might sometime think on wearing a mustache or a beard or both. Once it grows in, it can feel ever so nice in places."

And for the first time, Danny saw Brianna flushed with embarrassment.

"I could talk all night and still not tell ye everything about my Jem. The summer I was ten, we had a small gathering here, not like the one ye'll see in August, mind, and he was a guest of Robin's older brother. The lads and lasses my age and a little older snuck some of the whiskey from the parlor and watered down what was left to fill the decanter. As ye've learned, adding water to whiskey is tantamount to murder here and me da threatened to spank the lot of us, more for the waterin' than the drinkin'. Moira said she was too old to be spanked. Jem laughed and teasingly told her that no woman was too old to be spanked. Much later, he told me that he wanted to defuse the situation; it hadn't been that long ago that he would have done things like that. I turned to him an' gave him a wicked smile. I said, 'But ye're talkin' about the type of spanking meant ta be enjoyed. Maybe when I'm older, ye ken show me.'

"Me da wanted to wash me mouth wi' soap, but Aunt Sorcha whispered something in his ear. Then it was as if no one was in the room except Jem and me. His eyes got very serious and he said, 'Count on it, Brianna MacDonald.'

"When I was 15 and my mam died, he sat with me in the garden and held me as I cried. When I was 16, he came to Da and asked permission to woo me. And when I was 17, he married me and made me his."

He couldn't help himself. "And did he ever and did you enjoy?"

"I willna tell ye that. What I will do is tell you of my wedding night. Ye ken, it's not like I'm running a proper school for the debauching of young men," she laughed, "so I canna go out and round up a wee virgin for ye to practice on. Although I've seen the looks some of the lasses in the village give ye. Maybe I should ask around?"

The Danny Concannon that would be 15 years older would have come back with an apt _riposte_; the Danny Concannon that would be married to CJ would have swatted Brianna's rear end. The 19-year-old Danny Concannon merely turned beet red and stuttered, "I – I don't – I don't think – ", before she kissed him fully on the mouth.

She described the things her husband did to make her first time so special. She described the way he used his hands and his mouth to make sure she had crested several times before he entered her. She described the way he just lay there, still, for what seemed like forever while she adjusted to his presence within her. She described his restraint, something she did not fully realize for several weeks until she had the experience of his fully unleashed taking of her with which to compare it.

"Remember, Danny, that virginity is not just a piece of skin. The lass taken against her will, or the wee girl used despicably by her da or her uncle or cousin is as much untouched as the one who bleeds like a stuck pig the first time."

She looked directly at him. "And then there'll be those who know everything I know and more, do it much better than I, but who never found someone to trust, those who can't surrender completely. If ye find one of these and ye feel she's the one for ye, ye must do everything in yer power to help her cross that barrier, to give her soul to ye, to make her know that ye'll spend the rest of yer life making her the most special woman in the world."

By August, her father knew, but his sister Sorcha convinced him that Brianna was in no danger of physical or mental hurt, nor was Danny.

He went with Angus, Sorcha, and Brianna to the gathering of Clan MacDonald and met almost as many MacDonalds as the number of hamburgers claimed to have been sold by a certain chain headquartered in the states, including the head of the clan himself ("Those fockin' idjits best not be getting' their drawers in a wad about who can and can't use the name; **I'm** the final authority on that!") who said of course, Danny was one of them; a fatherless lad, even one of 19, needed an uncle to kick his ass when he deserved it, an aunt to make him feel better afterward, girl cousins to flirt with, and guy cousins to drink beer and hold pissing contests with. And when were Robin's and Erin's flights landing?

Robin knew right away what was happening with Brianna, talked with his cousin, and then simply gave his young brother-in-law the same cautions that Brianna had given him, that there was no future between them.

Erin found out and was concerned, worried, afraid for him. Robin tried to allay her fears. "He was going to, sooner or later. He's not with someone that can give him the clap and he's not with someone who is going to play around with his heart."

There was one thing that had tugged at Danny's mind and, two days before he was due to leave Scotland, he found the courage to ask.

"Brianna, your husband staked his claim on you when you were ten. You married Jem at 17, were a virgin on your wedding night. And yet you know so much about men in general, girls in general?"

She confessed that after that first time, when she realized that she would be his introduction to "the art of love", (she made big quote marks with her fingers) she did talk some with her cousins Leith and Moira "who have been through the rye a bit". No, she didn't mention his name, but then Leith and Moira weren't the dumbest of the bunch, a'tall, a'tall, and probably had their ideas. "How did ye think I knew that ye and Jem were thicker than many men in yer arousal? Did ye think I went about the village with a tape measure?"

Danny had taken a Statistics class last semester. The image Brianna planted in his head and thoughts of least squares, regression, a grab sample, and standard deviation combined to produce ideas for his upcoming columns in _The Observer._

The day before he would go back to South Bend, his religious scruples and the idea of being suspended in air across the Atlantic combined to make him a little jumpy. Aunt Sorcha ("Ye're part of the clan now, boy, call me auntie, I'm everyone's crazy, fey Aunt Sorcha") must have read his mind, because she told him that Father Kilian at St. Cuthbert's was "the priestie all the lads and lasses here use". So he trotted off to confession, got a lecture about responsibility and not using young women carelessly, and a decade of the rosary.

He felt bad about trying to avoid Brianna that evening, but he also felt nervous and wanted to preserve his newfound "state of grace". However, Aunt Sorcha had apparently talked with Brianna because the young widow came into his room that night, kissed him lightly on the lips, and then sat on the floor next to his bed.

"Aunt Sorcha told me to tell ye that ye're not to be concerned about me. She said to tell ye that 'twill take ye longer than most but the right lass for ye is out there, ye'll know her as soon as ye see her, that 'twill take some time, but the two of ye shall be happy in the end. She also said to tell ye that although ye'll have a while to wait, ye need to remember that others are like Jem and me, who find their soul mate right away. Only God knows why."

She got up and came over again to him in the bed. "I won't be here in the morning when ye leave. God go with ye, Daniel Concannon of the Galway Concannons." She kissed him one more time and left the room.

Two years later, he returned to Scotland with Erin and Robin to see her married again, to the handsome scion of Scotland's ancient royal family. Over the years, he'd seen her periodically, congratulated her on the births of her three children. She always told him that his one true lady was still out there, to not give up on love; Aunt Sorcha said so.

He'd last seen her when he took CJ to Scotland for their honeymoon. When he and CJ entered the old house and went to the parlor, Brianna was holding her first grandchild at the piano, playing "Loch Lomond", singing in harmony with Hugh one of the variants of the song, one that dealt with the Uprising.

"_I trysted my ain love last night in the broom_

_My Donald wha loves me sae dearly._

_For the morrow he will march for Edinburgh toon_

_Tae fecht for his king and Prince Charlie._

_Oh ye'll tak' the high road an' I'll tak' the low road_

_And I'll be in Scotland afore ye._

_But me and my true love will ne'er meet again_

_On the bonnie, bonnie banks o' Loch Lomond."_

Silver had streaked her hair, she was almost 60, but she looked as young as ever.

Looking up, her smile took over her face and she handed the child to her husband ("Now **that's** what a king should look like," CJ told Danny later), jumped up and grabbed his hands.

"Aunt Sorcha was right; I can see it all over yer face. Ye've found yer one true lady, the one who loves ye, comforts ye, respects ye, Daniel Concannon of the Galway Concannons!" She gave him a hug, then turned to CJ. "And I can see he's doing right by ye, lass, in bed and out, not that there'd be any question, once he found ye."

And now she was gone and God would figure out how she could be with both Jem and Hugh together in heaven.

"I'm sorry," he said, raising his head from CJ's shoulder.

"For what?" She kept one arm around his shoulders as she wiped a tear or two from his face with the other hand. Then she kissed him lightly on his lips, on his nose, on his forehead, and then again on his lips.

"For breaking down like this over another woman, for soaking your blouse. I can't imagine what you must think."

"That my husband has lost someone special in his life, someone to whom he owes a lot, someone to whom **I** owe a lot."

She did not tell him of the other things she had been thinking, the pleas to her son. Please, Paddy, stay asleep, don't wake up, don't be hungry, don't need changing, don't need me to quiet and calm you. Right now, your Daddy needs me so much and I can't deal with both of you at the same time. So please, baby, do this one thing right now for Mama.

And, luckily, Paddy did.

"Are you hungry? Can I fix you something?" she asked.

"Maybe some eggs?"

So she dragged him into the kitchen and threw together a mushroom and cheese omelet. There was a stoppered bottle of champagne from last night that was about one-third full (Hank and Steve brought it over with shrimp salad). She divided it into two wine glasses and topped them with grapefruit juice.

CJ raised her glass. "To Brianna."

"To _Auld Lang Syne_," Danny answered.

After they ate, Danny decided he needed a shower and a nap.

While he was in the bath, she unpacked his things, and puttered around the bedroom, thinking about Brianna. She had been embarrassed at first at the woman's outspokenness when they met, but later realized that Robin's family was earthier, more open about some things. And she did truly appreciate reaping the benefits of all that Brianna had done for Danny so long ago. Later, when CJ had the chance to be alone with Brianna, she told her so and the other woman, swearing her to secrecy, told her some things (but not bed tales) about that summer. When Danny caught them giggling together, he said he was afraid to ask.

The Sunday after she had met Erin and Robin, the Sunday after Danny told her he knew about her and Hoynes, she and Danny decided that they would tell each other about any people in their pasts who might crop up in their present and future, people in politics or the media, people who might have an axe to grind.("Just so we aren't blindsided. They aren't important to what we are now.") Her life was much more of an open book, but there was a guy from the Mint she had managed to keep under the DC radar. She also gave him the full story about Ben and she had told him all about Tad Whitney. He had had a relationship with an editor for _Newsweek_, one with a senatorial liaison, and one with a congresswoman from New Mexico. There was one girl way back at Notre Dame who had become famous in the business world, heading up a major automobile manufacturer. ("Were you good enough that we could ask for discounts?" earned her a swat on her rear.)

A week after they had become engaged, when they had moved into Sam's condo, she made an appreciative comment after an extremely wonderful session in his arms. He told her about Brianna and her "summer school". The next night, she told him about Paul.

They met during those wonderful days at the beginning of the academic year, when classes haven't started but everyone is back on campus, getting settled in, going through late registration, renewing friendships put on hold over the summer, enjoying the last days of summer. He was standing in front of her at the bookstore checkout line. She was juggling her texts for the new semester, and he offered to hold some while they waited. They made small talk. Just before it was his turn to pay, he asked her to have coffee with him and she agreed.

Coffee stretched out for two hours as they connected with each other. She told him about herself, her studies. He grew up in Albany, had done his undergraduate work at Dartmouth and coming to a big place like Berkeley was a bit daunting, but he was excited about the change. He played varsity hockey in New Hampshire but obviously that was something he couldn't do here. (She told him she had done some figure skating and they wondered about a rink.) He also played intramural rugby and was trying out for the Law School club team here. He was sharing an apartment with another Dartmouth grad who was pursuing a Ph.D. in Archaeology. The fraternity to which he belonged had a chapter here at Cal and was having a dance tonight. Would she be interested?

He walked her to her dorm and arranged to call for her at 8:00.

Walking her home after the dance, he asked her to supper and a movie for the upcoming Saturday.

After the movie on Saturday, they were sitting in the lounge of her dorm. He told her that he had a job that took up his Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday evenings; on Thursdays, he had a study group. He would like to see her again but could only do so on weekends. He was sure she was a popular girl and would have many offers, that many times, her weekends would be full with other guys. He wanted her to understand why he could not see her during the week. That is, assuming she would be willing to date him again.

She told him that she wasn't seeing anyone else and that she would very much like to see him again (and again). When he left, he kissed her goodnight.

He was warm, he was intelligent, he shared her political views, although he felt he could better serve them in the courtroom than on the front lines. He was courteous and considerate. He didn't paw all over her in public but he let her know that she was an attractive, desirable woman, both physically and mentally. When she was with him, she felt she was both feminist and feminine.

They met when they could for lunch or coffee during the week. They usually ended up going to movies or student plays on Friday nights. On Saturday mornings, he played rugby and she came to cheer on his team. If there was a home game that weekend, they would cheer for the Golden Bears in the afternoon. More often than not, they would party with Cal's chapter of his fraternity on Saturday night (he counted as a chaperone). Sunday afternoons and evenings would find them in the law library studying together.

The kisses became more passionate and spread beyond "Good night".

One rainy Sunday afternoon in early October, he suggested that they study at his apartment; he could make spaghetti.

She was hesitant. She looked down and did what she always did when she was unsure, was anxious; she babbled. She wasn't sure exactly what he was asking, but she was still a virgin, had only been to second base. She might be ready for third, but she didn't think she was ready to head for home plate. She wanted to be upfront about everything, and hoped she hadn't made a fool of herself.

He told her that he wanted her, but he was a patient man; she would set the pace. He would go as far as, and only as far as, she wanted with respect to **that** part of their relationship, and, knowing what that limit currently was, he would still very much like her to come home with him.

They began to spend more time in the apartment studying (and other more enjoyable activities) and less time in the law library. He was totally respectful of her wishes, but he also had some conditions of his own; he was only human. He opened her blouses, undid her bras, and touched her inside her underwear, but he wouldn't trust himself to remove any clothing and still not push her beyond her line. Neither would he have her spend the night with him; he knew his limits. For that matter, he would only be with her in the living room; he did not want her in his bed until she was ready for intimacy. At one point, she made a comment about not wanting to be a "tease", about being worried that she was getting more out of their physical contact than he was. He told her that he considered it part of her becoming ready for the next steps in their relationship; that he was patiently waiting for the long run.

On a Sunday afternoon in early November, she told him that she was ready to "be with him."

He took her face between his hands, kissed her lightly, looked into her eyes, and said, "Friday."

She told him she was sure **now**, didn't need to wait. He didn't need to give her time to change her mind.

He laughed and told her he wasn't waiting to give her time to reconsider, although she could say "no" at any time up to, or even during, their lovemaking.

"CJ, darling, your period started two weeks ago. Right now, your body is screaming 'Conceive! Conceive!' Friday will be safer. Besides, I don't have any contraception right now. And the place is a mess. Larry could come back at any moment, may have friends with him. I want this to be special for you, for us. Friday. Plan to spend the weekend with me."

Embarrassed that she didn't think about being safe and touched by his care and concern, she nodded.

On Thursday at lunch, she asked him if she should "buy something at the drug store". He told her he had taken care of it. He asked her to bring a nice dress for Saturday night. He had made reservations two weeks ago to take her to Chez Panisse for dinner this Saturday, since it was near her birthday. When she made some comment about how most men would "do the wine and dine before the recline", not after, he told her that he figured she might be "anxious" on Friday and fully expected her to feel much more relaxed on Saturday, more likely to enjoy the meal. Then he asked her what she considered a very odd question, but she gave him the answer.

When he called for her early Friday evening, he took her garment bag and weekender from her, set them in the back of his car, and seated her on the passenger side.

"I've got some salad and fettuccine at the apartment, but would you like something else?"

She shook her head.

He put a hand under her chin, turned her face to him.

"Second thoughts?" When she shook her head, he added, "Remember, any time before, up to, even during, just say the word."

She smiled slightly and told him that he was right about not spending a lot of money on her beforehand.

When they reached his apartment, he took her things to his bedroom, spent a few minutes there, and then poured the both of them a glass of wine. She noticed the silence and asked about Larry. He was on the Outing Club trip to Tahoe for the weekend. When she mentioned that that was rather convenient, Paul admitted that he offered to pay part of the expenses. He thought she would be more comfortable without someone in the next bedroom.

"Would you like to eat?" She shook her head no.

"What would you like to -?"

She interrupted him by putting her arms around his neck and kissing him. "Move beyond all this anxiety."

He kissed her deeply, picked her up, and carried her to his bed. ("The only one besides you, Danny, to do that.")

The bedcovers were turned down. He had bought some flowers. He had strung little white Christmas tree lights around the room. He had put a 25-watt bulb in his bedside lamp.

He undressed her slowly, kissing whatever body part he uncovered. He told her how beautiful she was. Somehow, he managed to get himself undressed at the same time. He touched her between her legs, very briefly and very shallowly reached inside her with one finger.

"Open wide for me, sweetheart." Watching her, he used his palm and his fingers to bring her to orgasm, then brought her near again with his mouth.

He moved up beside her, put his hands on either side of her face and asked again, "Are you sure?" At her nod, he reached into his nightstand for a condom, sheathed himself, and moved into the vee of her legs, and, one last time, "CJ?"

When she solemnly nodded yes, he told her to bring her legs up around his waist; he kissed her and moved slightly into her until he reached the barrier that he had earlier ascertained was there. He took a breath, plunged into her, hard, fast, and deep, and then didn't move an iota.

She cried out once, bit her lower lip, and teared up a little. Paul kissed her over and over. "My beautiful lady, my wonderful lady, that should be the worst of it." He asked her if she wanted him to pull out. She shook her head no, tried to smile. He kept very still, kissed her again, told her that that was why he had asked her how she took off her Band-Aids. If she had said she eased them off slowly, he would have drawn out his entry; but she had said that she took hold of them and yanked them off quickly, so that was how he penetrated her.

Still not moving at all, he asked her how much pain she still had. She said it had dimmed significantly; he moved slowly, watched her face and asked her again.

When she told him that there was very little discomfort, he withdrew completely. She was confused until he reached into his nightstand, drew out a box containing spermicidal foam. "Redundant, but I wanted to be sure," he said. He helped her figure out how to use the spermicide.

He kissed and caressed her again. She reached to touch his arousal, and gasped at the sight of blood on her hand. Then she saw the stain on the sheet; she was embarrassed, said she should have thought to ask for a towel underneath her.

He told her that he didn't want her to think he expected her to bleed, in case she didn't, that not every woman did her first time. "Tampons, medical exams, heavy petting, the stereotypical horseback riding, stuff like that."

He changed condoms and entered her again. This time he went slowly until he was sure that he was no longer hurting her, then began to move expertly within her. He used his fingers to bring her to the edge again, then slowed until he was almost there himself before starting up again. He took her over that edge and joined her seconds later.

He held the condom close, withdrew from her, removed it, and pulled her close to him. He kissed her eyes, her cheeks, her neck, her mouth, telling her how wonderful she was. She stroked his hair, his face, smiled the smile that filled her face, that made her glow.

They talked about everything and nothing; they couldn't stop kissing each other.

He asked her if she was hungry; she said she was ravenous. He suggested she take a warm bath while he fixed them some supper. He had bought some bubbles for her, several scents from which to choose.

When she left the bathroom wrapped in a towel, she could see him in the kitchen in a pair of white pajama bottoms. She tiptoed to the bedroom, opened her garment bag, and put on the peach nightgown she found Wednesday in a little shop on Telegraph Avenue.

They ate fettuccine, salad, and cheesecake, drank champagne. He put on an old Johnny Mathis tape and they danced around the living room, kissing, embracing, and touching. Then he took her hand, led her back to his bed, and gestured to the can of spermicide and its applicator while he reached for another condom.

The next morning, they made breakfast together and spent most of the day studying; finals were coming.

They showered together and shyly dressed in front of each other as they got ready for dinner. She turned her back to him, lifted her hair, and asked for help with the zipper of the cinnamon brown dress she was wearing.

Looking over the menu at Chez Panisse, she mentioned some items. He told her she didn't have to stay at the lower end of the menu, quietly joking that she "had already earned the lobster". He asked her if there was anything she particularly liked or disliked, asked her if she trusted his judgment. When the waiter came, he ordered for the both of them. The waiter had no problem in pouring her glass of Riesling even though she had just turned 19; ID cards weren't checked in Berkeley in those days.

After the waiter left, he reached into his pocket and drew out a small jewelry box ("But obviously not a ring box.") It was a pendant of amber ("For your eyes") on a gold chain. He came over to help her with the clasp in the back.

That night, he gave her her first lesson on riding a man.

Afterward, she broached a question that had been lingering in her mind. "Not that I'm complaining, but you seemed to know exactly how to do all this so wonderfully for me?"

He told her that part of it was from books, part of it was because there was a girl from Bennington his junior year, but most of it was from what would best be described as a lecture by one of the fraternity seniors to his pledge class freshmen year. Their fraternity chapter had a reputation among the women's colleges for being very good for "first timers", and they intended to keep it.

"So instead of being a jock house or a party house or a nerd house, you were a - "

"Journey to womanhood house. There was a grosser name, but we won't go there."

Then he got serious. "The thing with the foam. When I realized that it was still there, I mean your - , well, I wanted me to be first, not some plastic applicator. I know it sounds horribly macho and I'm not very proud of it, but –"

And she kissed him quiet.

They made love in the sunlight on Sunday morning. At one point, he lifted up on braced arms and silently appreciated the beauty of the contrast of their joining, his dark brown against the remnants of her pale golden tan.

"Sweetheart, you **do** know that I'm in love with **you**? You happen to be white, it's part of what makes you you, but it's not **because** you're white. I'm not that kind of guy."

"And I love you the same way." She had been afraid to bring up the "L" word, afraid to use it first.

Sunday afternoon, he tentatively brought up the subject of contraception, asking her if she would consider going to Student Health for pills. He could pay for the prescription if needed. She said she had been thinking about it herself.

He returned her to her dorm Sunday evening before Larry returned. She would let him know how things went with Student Health. He mentioned something about cooking next weekend; he joked that now that he had gotten her buns in bed, he'd be interested in what kind of biscuits she could put in the oven. She reminded him that, unless the fates truly hated them, she would be having another period next weekend and that she would be of no use to him. He told her that he hoped they would have many weekends together when she was not available for "fun and games", that this would just be the first.

The doctor at Student Health examined her, gave her 3 months' supply of pills, and told her to come back before then for another examination. If everything was still okay, she could get a 12-month supply. Student Health only charged cost.

She told CJ she was lucky with her timing. She was due to start her period on Friday. If she took her first pill then, her cycles would probably switch to a Monday. Sometimes, girls preferred to wait for the next Sunday for convenience's sake; in that case, she would cycle on Wednesday. She should use "backup" for the first week.

CJ decided that remembering to start a packet of pills on a Friday was a small price to pay for being "open for business" every weekend of the month.

That Friday, her cramps were really bad and she wanted to do nothing more than curl up in her dorm bed with a heating pad. He tried to convince her that she could do that just as well in his bed; plus, he could bring her tea and soup. However, she couldn't be convinced. She felt better on Saturday and stayed the night with him.

She spent Thanksgiving break with him and that weekend, they were truly together for the first time; no need for latex between them. He reveled in the feel of skin on skin; she felt him explode inside her. They started experimenting with other positions. They worked their way through _"The Joy of Sex"._

The San Francisco chapter of the Dartmouth Alumni Association held a dinner meeting at the Mark Hopkins and she went with him. A week later, he received a call from one of the other attendees, a senior partner in one of the city's most prestigious law firms. The man asked Paul to contact him in a few months regarding summer employment. Then he mentioned in passing that "the young lady with you would be a great asset to your future."

A national coordinator from Young Democrats, some guy named Ziegler, came to visit their chapter and she convinced Paul to go the meeting. The New York guy told her that she should try to get her friend interested in politics; Paul would be a perfect candidate.

They pined for each other over Christmas break. He phoned her twice a week; her family was curious but didn't ask any questions.

When the new term started, they talked cautiously about "two years from June" when he would have his Juris Doctor and she her BA. She was afraid of how her family would react; she was afraid to find out that maybe they weren't as perfect as she thought. He had the same thoughts about his family. He could almost hear his mother saying something about having no problem with CJ, she was a wonderful girl, she obviously loved him very much, but "the children will be ostracized by both worlds". If necessary, it would the two of them against the world.

They became a fixture in their small ponds on a large campus – her dorm, her friends in Young Democrats, the rugby club circuit, the fraternity, the law school. One African-American woman in her dorm was upset that "a honky bitch was taking one of the good brothers"; someone else wondered if she was seeing him "as an act of rebellion". One guy called her a "race traitor" (she never told him about it); another told him to stop being "uppity". To everyone else, they were just one of the many inter-racial and/or inter-ethnic couples on campus and were accepted as "Paul and CJ".

She was careful to not make Larry uncomfortable, to not clutter up their bathroom with her things, to not make him feel like a fifth wheel in his own apartment. When Larry's fiancée (a senior at UNH) came to visit over her spring break, the four of them took a weekend trip to gold country, a day trip to Napa and one to Sausalito, as well as doing the usual San Francisco stuff – Lombard Street, Haight-Ashbury, the cable cars, etc.

He taught her everything he knew about a woman's body. He taught her everything about a man's body; how to make him happy. She enjoyed doing the things he taught her. She spent her weekends with him, her weekdays in the dorm. It was a not uncommon thing for women of her time to do.

One day in April, after a couple of other guys made passes at her, he asked her if she would wear his fraternity pin "if he managed to find it". She told him yes.

That Friday, when he came for her (he told her they had been invited to a party at one of his professor's) and she was walking toward the stairs, she noticed that none of the other girls on her floor were around and thought it strange. When she entered the dorm's main foyer, he was there with a huge bouquet of red roses, all of members of his fraternity behind him. The young men started singing "Let Me Call You Sweetheart" in _a capella_ harmony as he handed her the flowers and, fumbling a bit, placed the pin on her dress. He then kissed her to a huge round of applause. Most of the girls in her dorm, plus some of their boyfriends, were in the foyer also. Later that evening, he told her that he was sure she would have suspected something, that he thought that at least one of the girls in the dorm would have let the cat out of the bag, especially since at least one of the African-american women disapproved of him being with a white girl. (They found out later that the woman in question did indeed say something disparaging, but her boyfriend told her to "cool it".) He also told her that not so long ago, assuming it wasn't raining, fraternity tradition would have demanded that everything take place under her dorm room window, with him climbing a ladder to give her the roses and to pin on the jewelry.

They told their families about their relationship. Both were relieved when the reactions were better than they expected. Her father was more concerned about her being in an intimate relationship at her age than about the racial difference.

He made Law Review.

She spent most of the summer working at her sister-in-law's family's vineyard in Napa. Paul worked at the law firm of the Dartmouth alumnus he met back in December. He started a special savings account, putting aside $20.00 a week, giving up beer and soft drinks during the week.

Her father and her step-mother came to California for a week and after meeting Paul, he father felt a little better about his little girl being involved with a man.

They saw each other most weekends. He went back to New Hampshire to serve as an usher at Larry's wedding for one weekend. He asked her to go with him, but she didn't think her parents would approve.

With Larry married and moving into married student housing, Paul decided that rather than finding a new roommate, he would look for a one bedroom place. He found one he could afford in an older building. It didn't have a dishwasher, a garbage disposal, or air-conditioning, but the rooms were large and airy, there was a small dining alcove that opened onto a back garden, and the living room had a working fireplace. However, they both felt it would be best if she continued to live in the dorm, just spending the weekends together.

She stopped working at the winery about ten days before the new academic year started. They spent a few days camping on the Oregon coast and then spent a week "playing house" in the new apartment before her dorm opened for the term.

The law firm in San Francisco for which he worked in the summer offered him a part-time job and scheduled the hours around his classes. It paid more than the after-hours check-clearing job at the bank that he had the previous year. He also took a job as a "defense attorney" for kids brought before the student disciplinary committee.

His parents came out to visit in late September and his older brother, an army doctor came through when he was transferred from Kansas to Hawaii.

One weekend, they asked her roommate and the roommate's boyfriend to dinner. Afterwards, he told her that he would prefer they not do so again. It wasn't her roommate, he liked Alex a lot. But the guy she was dating was a total idiot, an immature child. He kept making suggestive comments, both about CJ and about Alex. Plus, he was groping the poor girl every other minute right in front of them. CJ told him that the guy had made her uncomfortable, but she sort of understood; the guy lived in the dorms and didn't have access to the degree of privacy they had. Paul told her that he had been in that situation while at Dartmouth and knew about it, but a gentleman made arrangements, worked an extra job to afford off-campus housing or a nice hotel room. A gentleman didn't open his lady's blouse in front of another man. For one thing, he treated the lady respectfully; for another, he didn't want another man looking at her body. In any event, there was a guy, a senior at the fraternity named Luke Davidson, who would be perfect for Alex, much better than this dope. Maybe CJ should ask her she would be interested in a blind double-date?

He took a room at the Mark Hopkins in the city the weekend before her birthday. They did dinner and dancing the second night at the Top of the Mark, where they ran into several of the lawyers at the firm at which her worked and their spouses. The first night, he took her to a Moroccan restaurant where they sat on pillows on the floor and ate the special seven course tasting menu.

They spent Thanksgiving weekend with Gina, her brother, and Gina's family. He just laughed when she fumed about having to sleep apart, but agreed that they would leave for Berkeley right after breakfast on Sunday, citing the need to study. Maybe this once, she could stay over Sunday night?

She was elected to Pi Sigma Alpha, the political science honorary society, and was informally assured by the chair of the Poli Sci department that she was a shoo-in for grad school the year after next. The law firm in San Francisco gave him similar hints; his passing the bar was a foregone conclusion.

They spent time, off and on, with Larry and his wife. On evening, while she and Rosemary were cleaning up after dinner, the girl dropped her ring and when CJ picked up the diamond and commented about it, Rosemary asked her what shape diamond she liked. Later, when no one was looking, Rosemary whispered something to Paul and he thanked her for the ploy. He started eating a bit more tuna fish during the week and increased his savings account contribution to $25.00 a week.

They talked oh, so casually, about neighborhoods, San Francisco verus Berkeley, apartment versus flat, modern versus Victorian.

They each spent a couple of days with each other's families over the Christmas break.

They had a minor disagreement about one of the students he defended before student court, a somewhat controversial case. He told her that why he would never do what the guy did, he could understand the reasoning the young man used, and managed to broker a deal which everyone thought was an excellent compromise. It made the local news. One of the federal judges in the city approached him about a clerkship when he graduated.

In late March, he began to second-guess his career decision. His senior year at Dartmouth, he was deciding between law school and divinity school and had been accepted at Yale Divinity as well as Berkeley, Duke, and SUNY Buffalo for law. He was beginning to think he had made the wrong choice. He was contacting the Pacific School of Religion at the Graduate Theological Union. He knew that she considered herself a "fallen" Catholic; how would she feel about a serious relationship, a possible marriage, with a progressive Protestant minister? In May, he found out, in a strange twist of fate, that PSR didn't accept him but that Yale had a slot open and still wanted him.

She was already planning to apply for graduate school at Berkeley.

"I'm sure Yale would take you. You're already in Pi Sigma Alpha and you're a lock for Phi Beta Kappa. Brown's more like Berkeley than Yale is and it's only two hours by train. And then there's the Amherst, Mt. Holyoke, Smith, UMass complex. Or I could wait a year, apply to the div schools in Claremont, in San Anselmo. Even LA wouldn't be too impossible with the cheap commuter flights."

They thought about all the ways to make it work. A year apart wouldn't be that bad. Many couples with two or three years between them, age wise, had done so. Two seniors in her dorm were married. They chose their seminars from those that met on Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday, and spent long weekends with their husbands in grad school in Los Angeles.

But it wasn't going to work. Could they handle a year on opposite sides of the country? She really wasn't the "Yalie" type; she felt he deserved to be in the best place that accepted him, not a second choice; she wasn't sure that she was willing to sever herself completely from Catholicism and wondered what denomination, no matter how liberal, would offer a position, or even ordination, to a man with a Catholic wife. ("Maybe if we both became Episcopalian?" he suggested.)

She didn't begrudge or question his change of vocation. ("If it weren't for the celibacy part, you'd be a wonderful priest, a perfect pope.")

She never voiced it, but she wasn't sure she was ready for the commitment that changing her life (or asking him to change his) implied. It was one thing to speculate when they thought they both would be in Berkeley for the next few years, where they already were, where they wanted to be; kind of like a holding pattern. What they were contemplating went far beyond that.

He had never told her that he had been saving up for an engagement ring because he had had visions of proposing next November on the two-year anniversary of the day they first became intimate, with the wedding taking place soon after she got her BA. He had figured that he could still work as a paralegal; he had decided he would do whatever was necessary to support the two of them while they were both in school. If she had wanted to work also, that would be fine, he wasn't a chauvinist, but if she didn't, he would have found some way to support them both.

A week before the end of the term they were making love gently, tenderly. And he suddenly began to cry; she joined in. They lay there, still joined together, arms around each other, sobbing into each other's necks as their hearts broke.

He drove her to the airport when she flew back to Dayton for the summer; there was no way she could stay in Calfornia for the summer. They held hands in the boarding lounge until her flight was called; they kissed until the final boarding announcement. She walked up the jet way backwards until it bent out of his line of sight. She didn't know that he stayed at the window until her plane pulled away from the gate and taxied out of sight. She didn't know that when he packed up to drive to Connecticut, he kept the sheets she had slept on, didn't wash them until Christmas.

She threw herself into Young Democrats and became the local liaison with the national organization; she worked more and more with that Ziegler guy. She and Paul wrote for a while, and then the letters became sporadic. The day came when she misplaced his last letter and never got around to writing back. Thinking back, she realized that at 23, Paul's love for her was more whole; at 20, she was as much, if not more, in love with the idea of being in love with a truly wonderful guy as she was with the guy himself. But right then, right afterward, she was totally miserable. ("Jeannie, I'm sorry you were hurting, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that for my sake, I'm glad it didn't work out for the two of you.")

She thought about him whenever someone broke her heart, abused her trust. But that time at Dulles about 5 weeks ago was the first time she had seen him since Oakland International Airport.

Paddy's cries disrupted her reverie. She went to her son, crooned to him. ("Is Mama's baby hungry? Is he wet? Is he needing to be held?") As she was changing him, Danny left the bath and re-announced his intention to sleep.

She brought the baby into the bedroom with her, got on the bed beside her husband, and began to nurse. Danny snuggled up against her hip, draping an arm across her lap. He mumbled something about her not leaving him this afternoon. She crooned at him in the same way she had crooned at her son. "I'm here, sweetheart, I'm gonna make it all better for you. Go to sleep, I'll be here."

A few minutes later, Paddy was full and asleep in her arm. Danny was softly snoring alongside her. She would probably end up asleep with the two of them. She reached for the phone and called Nancy. She had planned to go into the office for an hour or so, thinking that Danny would be here for the baby. She told Nancy to fax her some things, email some others. Her men needed her. Concrete, gravel, tar and squabbling bureaucratic a$$holes could wait for another time. Life was short, uncertain, precious.

Later that evening, when Danny was playing with his son, she took the scrap of paper from her wallet and updated her Outlook address book.

Then she began to type. "Hi Paul: Something happened today to make me realize……".


	38. If Ever I Should Lose You

**If Ever I Should Lose You**

CJ/Danny, Donna, Abbey, Jed, mentions of Josh, Carol, Margaret, Bonnie, Ginger, etc.

Rating -- (NC-17) Mature/Adult (sexual content)

Spoilers – through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

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_Early October 2009 Washington DC the White House East Wing_

Donna Moss Lyman walked back toward her office, reading the papers she had retrieved from the Mural Room. She was also carrying some fabric swatches in pastel shades. Her son, whom she had retrieved from his father, rested against her chest in the Snugli, making tiny snoring sounds. Josh had fed him and his Aunt Carol had changed him. All she had to do was keep him warm and secure for a while.

As she entered the outer office area, she could hear the new clerical assistant talking to someone on the phone. "Yes, ma'am, I will be sure to give Ms. Moss Lyman your message that you returned her call, but she is a very busy woman and may not be able to touch base with you again until sometime next week. Please be patient. Now, let me make sure I have the name right. That's C- O- N- C- A- N- ".

Donna took the phone from the young woman. "Hey, CJ, it's me. Let me put you on hold for a second until I can get to my office." She expertly pushed the right combination of buttons.

"Krissie, I'm sorry, Kristin, for future reference, Mrs. Concannon's calls, or her husband's, for that matter, should always be put through to me, or in a case like this, put on hold if I'll be back momentarily. I'll decide whether or not I have time to talk with them. Don't worry, I know it's only your second week and you have so much to learn. You'll get the hang of it." She smiled, not wanting to terrorize the child. Normally, a Saturday afternoon in the East Wing was an easy way to train a new employee, but with Cathy out of town for a funeral and Dawn, the other clerical assistant scheduled for today having left with a fever, poor Kristin was enduring trial by fire today.

Donna entered her office, closed her door, and, picking up the phone, sat down.

"I'm back, sorry about that." She explained her personnel issues. "No, the President and Mrs. Santos are at Camp David this weekend. I had a few things I wanted to deal with but now I'm kind of just waiting for Josh to finish up with the Portuguese ambassador and then we might actually get to take Noah for a walk on the Mall. It's a beautiful Indian Summer day here in Washington. How about your weather?"

"Just another endless summer day here in southern California for me and my guys. So what's going on?"

"Can we get business out of the way first? After the first of the year, the First Lady wants to get moving on the Modern Village Initiative and would like to come to make a splashy thing out of it with you all on your block. Since she has the last two weeks of January open, I thought I'd give you a chance to check your schedule with 'Road to a Better World' and pick the best time for you. We're looking at maybe coming in late one afternoon, staying for two full days, and flying back early on the fourth day."

"Let me log into Nancy's calendar and see what she has for me then, she's more likely to have everything on hers than for me to have things on mine." Donna could hear CJ start to walk away from wherever she was, and then stop. "No, Lissa! Put the diaper on the other way!" Then back to Donna, "Why Danny thought that Paddy and I would make good practicum partners for the Teen Club training program, I don't know. I think he feels guilty about scheduling a three-hour seminar for Saturdays this semester, even though I told him I'd rather have him there on Saturday mornings than on Wednesday nights. He figures that this way, I have help without having to pay for it. Actually, I kind of like spending the morning with my baby, just the two of us, not dealing with any chores or such. Last week, we bought a kiddie pool and he and I spent two hours in it splashing at each other. If I put him on the floor, he'll try to move his arms and legs. It's an attempt at crawling, but he looks like he's kind of like swimming. He's changing so much every day. Danny says he smiled Monday afternoon right before I got home. So far, I haven't seen one. Hmmmm, let's see. I have a board meeting on the 20th; would you like me to block off the week of the 25th?"

"Sounds like a plan." Donna scribbled a note to herself. Noah began to whimper. "CJ, let me put you on speaker for a bit if that's okay." She pushed the appropriate buttons, then took her son out of the Snugli and began to walk around, jiggling him up and down.

"By the way, CJ, congratulations on the Chairman/CEO thing. I'm assuming it gives you more latitude with the project?"

"Thanks; yes, it does. As both chair of the 'Road to a Better World' board and CEO, I can decide whether I want to make decisions unilaterally or seek the advice of the board. I think I got it because of how I handled the staffing controversy."

"What staffing controversy?"

"Well, some people were upset because we are bringing in full outside teams who are used to working with each other to handle the back office support and to supervise the crews; we're only using local labor for the actual building. Our purpose is to get the roads built as quickly and as professionally as possible. We don't want to take the time to train bookkeepers, clerks, computer professionals, those kind of folks. I don't see that as our mission. Naturally, there were claims of imperialism, racism, and the usual sort of thing that can occur in situations like this. So when Jake Kimball told me that Antares wanted to get involved with 'Road to a Better World', I suggested that they provide back-end training. We come in, get the road built, and get out. Then teams funded by Antares will come in to take over. They will interview, hire and train local personnel to handle everything involved in ongoing maintenance and maybe some peripheral expansion off the main roadway. This way, everyone wins. We get the roads built and the locals get control after we're done. We're holding a big press conference with Antares here in LA on Monday to announce it."

"Well, you looked great on TV yesterday when they announced the foundation reorg. But I didn't see Danny there?"

"And did he **ever** have a nutty! It was the first, and so far, only time, I've taken Paddy out of town overnight without him. But the board meetings this time were on Thursday and Friday. Between his teaching and his seminar, there was no way he could get away. However, he insisted on driving me, Paddy, and Nancy up to San Luis Obispo on Wednesday afternoon. I did manage to convince him to let us fly back on the Antares jet with Jake. Lissa, why don't you bring him to me? Donna, I'm going to join you in the speakerphone thing; this kid's hungry. So I understand you'll be taking a class next semester?"

"Yes, at American. They have an American Studies program into which I can fit most of my work from Wisconsin. I'll only need two more courses. I figured that the best thing would be for me to get a BA in something, anything, from an accredited school and then get an advanced degree in government or public policy at Georgetown. Or maybe law school, I don't know. Josh has some concerns, not so much about my taking courses, but the path. He seems to think I should spend more time at the undergrad level and get a quote-unquote meaningful degree from Georgetown. Toby and Sam agree with him, but Nancy McNally and Kate agree with me. I was hoping that you and Danny would weigh in also. I don't like going against Josh's input, but I really feel that my plan is better."

"For what it's worth, I'm coming down on your side; I'll have Danny call you when he gets back from USC this afternoon. Ouch! Dammit!"

"CJ?"

"Paddy's overdue for a fingernail clipping and he just scratched me. No big deal."

"I wish I could have nursed longer. So you're still going strong with it, it's been, what, five months now?"

"Just about. Actually, I've been giving some thought to stopping in the next month or so. Definitely when the teething starts. I've enjoyed the bonding and the satisfaction, but I'm not the type to keep this up after he's got teeth or is walking. If others want to nurse for two or more years, that's fine, it's just not me. And he's begun to reach for stuff on our plates if we're holding him while we're eating, so he's ready for more variety in his diet."

"Are you giving him stuff?"

"Not really. Maybe a bit of mashed potatoes on a finger. Most of our stuff is way too spicy for him. The next time we take him to the doctor, I'll ask her about it and then I guess my shopping cart will start to be filled with lots of little jars. The express lane will become a distant memory, unless I buy by the case and not give him any choice between peaches and pears, chicken or beef. Anyway, how does Noah like working with his mom? Sometimes I think Paddy is happier here at home with Danny than he is with Nancy and me in the office."

"I think he's happier in his Daddy's office. For some reason, Josh's screaming doesn't faze him a bit. Then again, he doesn't get to spend as much time there, given the nature of what happens in the west wing as opposed to what happens over here, so maybe he just misses his daddy. Luckily for both Josh and me, none of our assistants have a problem with taking care of him if both of us are tied up with work at the same time; or with each other in the residence," Donna giggled.

"I take it that you, ah, got right back in the saddle, so to speak, as soon as you were able?" CJ asked.

"I feel a little guilty. I didn't go through what you did with the lack of libido; in fact, I think mine increased. And I certainly didn't have any of Ginger's issues with depression, thank God. Poor Josh, he was all ready to play 'supportive husband' and didn't get the chance. I know that he spent at least a third of his minutes on the phone with Danny these past two months asking for advice."

"For God's sake, Donna, don't feel guilty! I'm happy for you and I'm sure Ginger is also. I'm just a little jealous that you and Josh can slip away during the day. When I was there, I wouldn't have had the time, even if Danny had been available to me. Even now, things are a bit rough, a little tense. Right now, we're trying to find the best fit for our schedules. He teaches Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings and Tuesday and Thursday evenings. His other seminar meets on Thursday mornings. Right now, I'm in the office all day Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, and on Friday mornings. I have Paddy with me in the mornings; Danny picks him up after lunch. Then we have the Teen Club kids after school. We even have two guys from the club on Tuesdays and Thursdays; Danny's class meets from 7:30 until 9:00 those nights and he has office hours from 6:00 to 7:00 on Tuesdays and after his Monday and Wednesday class. Of course, I'm doing some work from home and he has to prepare for his lectures, study, write a column every other week, and work on Fitz' book. We're with each other but not really **with **each other."

"Josh and I are thinking about an _au pair_; one of Lord Marbury's umpteenth-removed cousins. I'm just a little concerned. At times, we're away from the townhouse for much of the day. There have been more than a few days where Josh and I go home just to shower and change and we leave Noah here with the Santos' nanny. I'm not sure what kind of oversight we could give a young woman. And if she takes after Lord John – . (sigh) Besides, after Liz' experience – I mean, Josh is nothing like Doug but I think I'd rather have Mrs. Doubtfire in my house than Cathy Coed. Anyway, what did you think of the Monet Water Lilies sheer gauze Carol picked out for our dresses? Did you pick out a color for the lining and the shoes and a style yet?"

"I love the print and the idea of the gauze! She gave me first choice on the color; I picked the green. Danny and Hank are vacillating between a one-shoulder look and a Vee-neck with a relaxed waist."

"I told her I'd take anything except the yellow, but I think Bonnie wants that. So I'll be in pink, blue, or lilac, depending on Margaret and Ginger. I'm thinking a halter top. But you're letting Danny pick the style?"

"It kind of started with the dresses you had, the ones Josh picked out. Hank suggested that with the soft fabric and the skirt styling, it could easily be, um, 'bedroom attire', so when he fitted it for me, he left the extra fabric in. After the wedding, he loosened it and took out the bodice lining and a couple of the skirt layers and now, well, Danny likes it. So when Carol decided on a sheer print with different colored linings and I asked Hank what he thought, his reaction was 'It doesn't matter, I'll take the lining out afterward, leave it sheer' and Danny got that look. For someone whose yearnings lie in the direction of the Y-chromosome, Hank sure knows what guys like on women, or at least what my guy likes. Danny is just disappointed I won't have another floppy hat; he likes the floppy hat, too. I wonder if he told Josh that?"

"Well, depending on our necklines, the floppy hat might not cut it. I think the jeweled combs will work just fine. I mean, none of us is in our twenties anymore. Come to think of it, I hope I end up with the blue. I like blue topaz. Tell Danny to tell Josh he needs to buy me more jewelry."

"Why don't you tell him yourself when you talk about the degree? Just think, except for Margaret and my poor Nancy, we've got just about all the Women of the West Wing married off now. Speaking of Margaret, how's she doing with her suitors?"

"Ohmagod, I forgot! We've had an elopement in the Administration!"

"Margaret?"

"No, but it affects her, kind of. You know that Arnie Vinick decided to play the field, whether to hedge his bets or to make Margaret jealous, I don't know, but he started seeing Ginger's mother-in-law right after the dedication of the Bartlet Library. They went to Aruba last weekend and three days later they called to say they got married!"

"Wow! I can imagine all the Beltway gossips going full blast! So Margaret is down to Hoynes and Priest Guy?"

"Actually, Priest Guy is out of the picture and John Hoynes has a real spring in his step now. And his grin covers his entire face. I'm half-afraid he's going to start getting a bit too cocky with regard to Margaret. It's such a fine call with him. I want her to be happy and if he's the guy, then God bless the two of them, but if he were to hurt her, I'd be devastated. Of course, he'd be dead, the President and Josh would see to that, not to mention President Bartlet, Danny, Sam, Ed, Larry, Charlie, Will and the ghosts of Leo and Mrs. Landingham."

"Don't forget the wrath of the Sisterhood. We could convene a witches' coven. Do you think Helen Santos would want to join? Hey, I may have an idea. Do you remember me telling you about my old boyfriend Paul? Well, he's picked up some sort of parasite doing all that work in Asia and the doctors want him back in the States for at least two years. He emailed me he was going to be working as his church's representative in the National Council of Churches office in Washington. I think he and Margaret would be perfect for each other. He's such a great guy and he deserves to be happy. I mean, I know that Danny and I were meant for each other, but if things hadn't happened the way they did and Paul and I had stayed together, I know I would have had a wonderful, very good life. Just not the life I have with Danny. I wouldn't have been a soccer mom, I would have been involved in public issues, but on a much smaller scale, on the local level. Typical professor's wife. Now, I just have to figure out how to make this happen."

"What if Margaret doesn't want another guy in her life?"

"Let's see, my Nancy's a bit young but there's Kate, Nancy McNally, and Laura Gail Fitzwallace."

"Not Debbie?"

"Paul, at least the Paul I remember, is a saint, but she would try his proverbial patience to no end. Anyway, she's still with that mysterious guy she had while she was guarding the Oval, isn't she?"

"I think so. Why don't you send me his email, or phone number here if you get one for him. I can get in touch, arrange to see him, you know, like you asked me to look him up and make him feel welcome in DC, that sort of thing, and then one thing can lead to another, and maybe – "

"Yeah, maybe."

"Hey, I can see Josh coming down the hall. I just might get out of here soon. I can't believe that the highlight of my week will be a walk on the Mall with husband and baby. Our lives have sure changed. Now that I can afford to actually buy all those dresses I used to wear and return, I have no use for them 90 percent of the time."

"Well, tonight I have a date with my husband to celebrate the promotion thing. Frank and Danny finally convinced Diana and me to try the two baby thing just once a piece and last weekend we kept Maggie while the rest of them went to a _quinceanera_ in San Diego. Everything went fine so they are taking Paddy this evening and will keep him overnight. I'll get to dress up, eat at a restaurant, and come home to an evening of adult activities."

"Yeah, rub it in, why don't you? Remember to have Danny call me. Love ya."

"You, too. Say hi to everyone for me."

_Later that day Santa Monica, CA_

CJ stood at the kitchen sink, gently rubbing the baby shampoo into her son's hair.

"Gotta get you all nice and pretty for your girlfriend," she crooned to the child. "We cleaned your ears and your belly button, and now we're taking care of your hair. Poor little Maggie just won't have a chance against you. You are going to wow her completely. Yes, you are; yes, you are." She used the spray attachment to rinse his hair.

"Maybe I need to have a talk with him, give him some pointers?" Danny slipped up behind her, put his arms around her, and nuzzled her neck. "Of course, I don't know if I want him to have a hotter, heavier night than his daddy."

"His daddy expects to have a heavy night? With whom?"

"With his mama. Wear the blue dress from the beach tonight?" He nuzzled her neck again.

"Hmmm. What will you do for me if I do?" He whispered something in her ear.

"That might be nice." Then her mind turned devilish. "And what if I don't?" He growled and whispered something else.

"Decisions, decisions," she said, lifting Paddy out of the baby tub and onto a towel. As she was drying the baby and dressing him, she noticed the aroma and turned around.

"I'm smelling?"

"Italian sausage hoagies. One of the frats was selling them for the game this afternoon. I figured maybe you wouldn't want to bother making lunch today." He opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water for her and a beer for him.

She put the baby in the cradle carrier. "Bless you. For that, you get the blue dress tonight."

"And you get the three –". She silenced him with a kiss.

She told him of her conversation with Donna as they ate. He agreed with her assessment of Donna's educational plans. He had to disagree with Josh.

Paddy reached toward his sandwich. "Sorry, kid, not yet. When you're older, we can share these while we watch football." The sausage, pepper, onion, and tomatoes were not on the list of foods that Paddy's pediatrician said might be appropriate.

She reached for one of the finger-sized bananas on the counter, peeled and mashed it with some of the water from her bottle, and waved a fingerful in front of her son's mouth, which he promptly gobbled. She continued with her narration of the conversation with Donna.

"I thought you said Paul isn't interested in another relationship; that he was still grieving the loss of Alicia."

"Yes, he did, but he's not the type to be by himself. And Lord knows he has so much to offer a woman."

"Just the thing a horny guy needs to hear coming out of his wife's mouth – praise for the first man in her life."

She heard the light tone in his voice but looked quickly to make sure that the eyes reflected the teasing. (They did.) She reached over with her hand, accidentally smearing some banana on his forearm.

"I'm not the girl I was some thirty years ago. He was good for me then, but now I have you. I just want him to be happy and I know that he can make someone else happy. If that someone else is someone I know and care for, so much the better."

"What you mean is he wasn't the type to be by himself some thirty years ago; you don't know for sure about him now. Just be careful, okay? You'd be playing with two lives here, five if you count his kids and Margaret's."

She recognized wisdom when she heard it. "Yes, sir."

She went off to put Paddy down for a nap and he went off to call Donna. When he finished his conversation, he went to the bedroom, found her sleeping and decided to join her.

He was really looking forward to this evening and tonight. He and CJ had two nights to themselves in New Hampshire when Abbey commandeered their son and they had several evenings out in Rehoboth, but they hadn't had both an evening out and a full night to themselves, with adult activities, since May.

He loved his son in a way he wouldn't have believed possible three years ago, when a life with CJ was only a dream, a possibility, but he also loved his wife. Both he and Frank Muñoz didn't see anything wrong with taking advantage of the strange connection between their infants every once in a while and they were both glad when Diana and CJ agreed to try it.

He was developing a closer friendship with Frank, drawing on the man's experience in combining being a husband and a father. Frank's kids adored and respected him; and the glow on Diana's face attested to **her** satisfaction with her husband. Robin was helpful, and had been a good role model since the man had cour ed and married Erin. And of course, there was President Bartlet. But Frank was here, a mere two houses away, and he also was going through being spouse to a mother with infant at the same time that Danny was.

Frank was also giving him some military perspective for his biography of Percy Fitzwallace, as well as some insight on being a minority military officer. Danny laughed at the irony. His parents arrived here from Ireland less than 80 years ago. Frank's family had been in California for more than two centuries; Fitz' ancestors were brought to the colonies in chains about the same time. And who were considered the outsiders?

CJ was still getting ready for the restaurant when he took Paddy, several bottles, clothing, and diapers up to Frank and Diana's house. "Be a good boy; don't do anything I wouldn't do," he whispered to the baby.

When he returned, CJ was ready. She looked fabulous, even better than she did at the beach.

"Are you sure you want to go out to eat? Why don't I pick up some lobsters and stuff on the pier and bring them back here? We could swim, make love, use the hot tub, make love, watch a movie - "

"Make love?"

"Well, yeah."

"Guess what? I don't have a curfew; I can stay all night. We can do all that and still enjoy a nice meal in a restaurant first."

Deflated sigh. "Okay."

They went to a little place just down on the pier. The weather was mild and they sat outside on the deck. He was hoping that they could finish in about 90 minutes or less.

He was surprised when CJ ordered a cocktail. She usually just got a glass of wine, which she nursed throughout the meal.

When the waitress came to take their order, CJ wasn't ready.

"No, I'm not quite sure yet; could you bring me another Manhattan and then come back in ten minutes?"

Ten minutes later, she told Danny, "I think I'll have the mussels, then a cup of cioppino, a Caesar salad, and the trout with crabmeat stuffing."

Danny looked at her. She kept a straight face but he could see the mirth in her eyes. She knew what he wanted and she decided he was going to have to wait for it.

"And I don't suppose you want to share the mussels?"

"Sure, we can trade off. What appetizer were you considering?"

Okay, dinner would take longer than 90 minutes. He could wait a little longer.

When he gave their order to the waitress, CJ asked her to "leave plenty of time between the courses" and smiled sweetly at him.

An hour and 45 minutes later, she finally finished the last of her fish. Okay, get the waitress' eye for the check and they could be in bed in twenty minutes, fifteen if he made all the lights.

"I'd like some of the lemon sorbet with piroulles and coffee."

After all that food, she wanted dessert? Where was she going to put it?

He told the waitress that he didn't want any dessert, just a cup of coffee.

"You're really enjoying this, aren't you?" Danny asked with his teeth clenched.

CJ looked up with mock innocence. She dipped one of the piroulles into the sorbet, scooped up a bit of the ice, slowly and suggestively sucked the frozen dessert from the long rolled up cookie, her eyes locked onto his. "Yes, it's very good. I can't decide if I prefer these sweet sticks with the iciness of the sorbet or the heat of the coffee." She dipped the cookie into the cup beside her. "I bet they would be good in alcohol, too. Maybe you should order me a grasshopper, or maybe some Frangelico." She smiled at her husband.

"Why not? Let's stay until closing time, until they kick us out. There's nothing better we could be doing with the time."

"Is Danny getting frustrated?"

"Is President Bartlet a nerd?"

CJ ate the last of of the sorbet. "Is Danny just a little testy? Does he (a glance at the remaining piroulle) need to cool off?" She snapped it in half. And smirked.

The waitress brought the folder with the bill. Danny glanced inside, put down some bills, stood, and held out his hand to his wife. "Yes. No."

As they walked toward the exit, Danny stopped in front of the restrooms and steered CJ toward the Ladies'.

"I'm fine, Danny."

"No, you aren't." He whispered something in her ear.

She looked at him.

"I mean it," he said.

"We're only 10 minutes from the house," she protested.

"Seven if we don't hit any red lights or if I run them. Now," he ordered, pushing her toward the door of the restroom.

They hit three of the five lights between the pier and their house. She was surprised that his hands stayed on the wheel while they were stopped at them, considering what he had demanded of her.

Once in the garage, he was out of the car and opening her door before she had time to unfasten her seatbelt. Pulling her out of the seat, he dragged her into the courtyard, held her hard against him and ravaged her mouth, pulling at the bows atop her shoulders and pushing the dress down to her waist.

On the other side of the hot tub, he took off his shirt and pulled her naked upper half against his.

He hurried her across the courtyard toward their bedroom. Stopping by the fountain, he pulled off the dress and slip, leaving her in only her shoes, and kissed her again.

He stopped by the conversation pit, undid his jeans and pulled her hand against him.

By the time they reached the door leading to the bedroom, his jeans, boxers, and sandals were no longer on his body.

By the time they reached the bed, he had verified that she was ready for him.

Ram. He held her hands along side her head and came into her fast, in one hard thrust, and then remained still, staring into her eyes. "I'm not a sex-crazed 18-year-old".

Slam. He withdrew almost completely and pushed again, burying himself completely. "But you have teased me unmercifully tonight, tortured me beyond all reason."

Bam. He moved once more and this time he exploded inside her as he collapsed against her with a guttural cry. Her breasts, full with milk, responded in kind against him, soaking the bed. "You don't deserve the three I promised you this afternoon."

Thank you, ma'am. His initial urges satisfied, he kissed her neck and down her torso, avoiding the sticky mess as his fingers brought her to her release. "But at least you wore the blue dress."

CJ spoke first. "So, I can't order dessert anymore?"

"I didn't say that. If you are going to be a tease, make sure you have enough room in your purse for your bra and your underwear and are prepared to deal with the consequences," he growled.

"Actually, the way you were moving, you probably would have taken less time taking them off than I did in the ladies' room." She moved an arm and grimaced. "I'm sticky with milk, how 'bout a shower?"

"How about the hot tub instead? I'm not done with you yet."

They ran across the courtyard to the tub and soaked themselves clean while they engaged in gentler, calmer, but no less amorous activities.

"We'll have to change the bed," CJ said when he pulled her up out of the tub.

"Too much work." He pulled her toward the guest room. She made up for the earlier part of the evening and he changed his mind about what she did and didn't deserve. "I'll need to pump in four hours or so," she murmured drowsily as they fell asleep.

He woke up at 4:30 to find her crawling back into the guestroom bed with him. She kissed him and his body responded; her hand encouraged that response. He reached across her and ran his right hand down the outside of her left breast. And froze.

"Danny?"

He reached for her right hand with his and took it to where he had just been caressing.

"Sweetheart, what's this?"

At first she was confused, and then she felt the lump. She began to shake.

Danny gathered her in his arms and held her tightly to him. They lay there, not moving, except for her trembling, for what seemed like forever. She seemed to shrink. For the first time, she felt small to him. He felt as if he could totally surround her with his body, as if to protect her from attack, as if the thing they feared was still outside her body and not within it.

One thought ran through Danny's head like a mantra. Please, don't take her from me, not yet. Logically, his mind wanted to tell him that statistically, it was nothing, a milk duct or something else totally benign; but thousands of years of his heritage kept telling him to expect the worst. What was it his mom used to say as a joke? _"Being Irish, I have an abiding sense of tragedy that sustains me through temporary periods of joy."_

She was whispering something; he couldn't make out the words. He pulled a little away from her head that was pressed into his chest. "Sweetheart?"

"Paddy. What have I done to Paddy? What have I done to Paddy?"

Their child. His son. He hadn't thought once about him; his thoughts were only for the woman he loved beyond all imagining.

He had no idea what the worst-case scenario would mean for the baby; no conception of what might possibly be passed between nursing mother and child. But having her obsess about it wouldn't do anything good for anyone – mother, child, or the man who loved them both. Instinctively, he knew that he had to, at least on the outside, maintain some semblance of rational optimism and control.

He happened to notice the bedside clock; it was 5:30. There was an extension in the guest room. He reached over to the phone, keeping one arm around his wife, and called New Hampshire.

Abbey was very helpful and reassuring. First of all, CJ should not worry about Paddy. In the totally unlikely event that what they found was malignant, there was no way she could pass anything to the baby.

"Danny, I take it she's scared to death."

"Yes."

"And you are also and you are trying to hide it."

"Right again."

"Then call Scott in a few hours and start getting some answers. And call me anytime, for anything. Do you want me to talk with her now?"

"Honey, do you want to talk with Abbey?"

CJ's conversation with her surrogate mother ran all over the emotional map. She started out in tears as she expressed her concerns for her son (and admitting that she had fears for herself as well), then ended up in a few laughs and giggles as Abbey made her feel better.

Afterward, what started out as a few gentle caresses ended up as a gentle, tender, and prayerful act of love in diametrical opposition to the one of the night before, the one built on teasing, frustration, and raw desire.

When Scott Winkler's pager sounded at 8:00 Sunday morning, he was pleasantly surprised. With two patients overdue and three more at the "any minute" stage, he expected he would have been up and at the hospital a long time ago. He stretched across the expanse of his otherwise empty king-size bed.

He could have said he was being noble and dedicated to his patients and that is why he woke up alone in his bed this morning. However, to be honest with himself, he woke up alone because there was no one in his life right now. It was hard to find a man who could cope with the hours his profession demanded; include the additional requirement that the man be gay and his chances made the stereotypical journey from slim to next to none. And, in general, to paraphrase his unmarried niece, all the good ones were either straight or in a committed relationship. Come to think of it, the characteristics of a "good one" were probably pretty much the same, no matter where on the continuum of sexual preference one would want the individual to stand.

Checking with the service, he found that the call wasn't from one of his expectant mothers, but from Danny Concannon, one of those good ones unavailable to him by both preference and commitment. Before he could return the call, the pager sounded again. Megan Lovelace had just been admitted to UCLA Med's birthing hall. Let the games begin.

He put his phone on speaker and called the Concannon residence as he started the Senseo coffee pod brewer and poured a glass of orange juice.

"Look, Danny, everything Abbey said was spot on, but as long as I'm going to be at the hospital birthing babies and the two of you have nerves of spun sugar, why don't you come in a little later and we can get started on resolving this A-SAP. Have CJ nurse and/or pump before you come; it will be better for any mammograms and ultrasounds we might want to do. Bring a book or your laptop; this might take some time. Oops, my pager just went off again; I'm not gonna get to watch much football today."

So there they were, three hours later, in the UCLA Med Center's breast care wing, sitting in a consulting room, holding hands, waiting for the results of the mammograms and ultrasounds. Scott had already examined her and determined that it was not a milk duct problem and that it did need to be checked out.

Danny heard someone murmur to the receptionist.

"They're right in there, Dr. Tallchief."

He looked up to see Paddy's pediatrician, a tall Shoshoni woman who resembled a younger Cher. ("A younger Cher minus the outrageous makeup and plus just enough pounds so you know there's someone between you and the mattress," was the earthy way Frank Muñoz put it.)

She came over to them and hugged CJ. "Scott told me." The ob-gyn had mentioned earlier that Linda was in the nursery area and had obtained their permission to tell her about the situation. "It's going to be okay. I just know it. And I repeat what everyone else has told you. There is no way, even under the worst case scenario, that you could pass this to Paddy."

Scott came into the room. He looked exhausted but happy. "That was the second girl. Three more and I've replenished the Sparks' lineup twenty-two years from now. So where are we?"

CJ explained that she had been "smooshed" for a mammogram and "rolled over" for a breast ultrasound and they were waiting for the results.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Concannon." She looked up at the sound of the German accent. "I'm Marcus Loutzenheiser, the radiologist. Dr. Winkler," he greeted Scott.

She introduced her husband to the man.

"Ah, I hear Dr. Roper now. Excellent."

Another man entered the room. "Marcus. Scott."

"Mike." Scott introduced the surgeon to CJ and Danny. He also introduced Linda to the other two doctors; breast care specialists did not interact with pediatricians as frequently as they did with ob-gyns.

The surgeon and the radiologist explained that there were a couple of things "outside the normal parameters" that they wanted to further check and that they would like to do needle biopsies on both breasts. There were other growths in addition to the one Danny had found this morning. It would only take about another 30 minutes and they wouldn't have to wait for results. Indeed, the pathologist they preferred to use wasn't available today.

Danny asked them what they expected to learn and what the next steps would be.

"If, after the pathology is complete, we still have concerns, the next step would be outpatient tissue biopsy.

In that case," Dr. Roper said, "I would ask you to consider weaning your son. It would make the surgery and recovery easier for you. Scott, Dr. Tallchief, do you have any input on this issue? Are there any concerns for the child if he is taken off the breast?"

"As I recall from his last checkup, Paddy is doing well. He should have no problems, health and growth wise, in switching to formula. You already have him feeding from a bottle. He might accept the formula more readily at first if he thinks it's coming from you. There's a device you can use to give him both formula and breast milk at the same time. It's normally used to supplement low volume or by adoptive mothers, but I like to recommend it for helping the baby to adjust to the taste changes." Her pager sounded. "I know Maria Guadalupé is here today. I'll see if she can come by your house tomorrow or at least call and set up a time." She bent down to hug CJ once more before leaving. "Everything is going to be okay. I know it sounds impossible, but try to stay calm. Paddy will sense it if you aren't."

Scott told them that he agreed with Dr. Roper. "It will be easier to check in the months to come if you aren't nursing him. If it comes to that, we can give you something to stop the flow fairly quickly without too much discomfort." Then his pager went off. "Show time again for me. All really I want is an uncomplicated delivery and a healthy mom and baby, but if I'm lucky,I just might get the next Lisa Leslie with this one."

The radiologist left to interpret more slides and the surgeon to prepare for the biopsy. A nurse came to take CJ to an examining room.

Danny called Frank and Diana to let them know what was happening.

"Danny, do you want someone to come be with you?" Frank asked.

"No, by the time anyone could get here, we'd be about ready to leave. How's my kid doing?"

"Right now, he's in the playpen with Maggie. His hands are all over her butt."

"Concannon men have a thing for fannies."

"It's not just him. Her hands are in his diaper; my younger daughter is a little hussy. In 15 years, we're going to have to get chastity belts for the two of them," the other man laughed.

"Probably closer to 12 years. He's my son."

"Yeah. Listen, Danny, some of the others are starting to wonder. Diana and I haven't said anything, but people are concerned; they know something's going on."

"Well, if anyone asks, let them know quietly. Not the kids."

"_Por supuesto_. Do you want us to keep Paddy today? It'd be no problem. I'm sure someone will have dinner for you when you get back."

"I honest to God don't know. For one thing, we need to figure out this feeding thing. On the one hand, CJ may want to keep him with her; on the other, I think she still may not feel that it's okay for her to nurse". Then he remembered the events of the previous night. There were some neighbors that might not understand what they would see. "Frank, last night, we, well, there are some clothes, the place is kind of a mess and I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with Clara or some of the others seeing it."

"Ah, we speak as men. Don't worry; it'll get taken care of."

Danny's call waiting buzz kicked in. It was Abbey. "Frank, Mrs. Bartlet is trying to reach me. We should be back within the hour. Thanks for everything."

He switched the phone to take Abbey's call. He gave her the latest updates. She told him that the former president was on his way back from London where he had been participating in a symposium at the London School of Economics.

"He's going to call when he gets in. Do you have anyone there with you? We can be there tomorrow."

"Abbey, we haven't told anyone yet, except the neighbors that are keeping Paddy. I think we need to catch our breath this afternoon, try to figure out how and what. For the moment, can we keep this just between the four of us? I mean, the block probably knows or will know soon, but I don't want to get Carol and Margaret and Donna involved just yet."

"Whatever you two want, Danny, we'll do or not do. But you need someone there for you. Make sure you don't try to keep it all on your shoulders."

The door opened. "Gotta run. The doctor's back."

While CJ was dressing, Dr. Roper told him that the pathology reports should be back sometime Tuesday. His office would make the call, but he would let them know himself. If the needle sites were painful, cold compresses would help. Of course, acetaminophen would also help, assuming that Linda had already given the okay for that pain reliever. Then the surgeon handed Danny two pill bottles.

"The Valium is for you, if you think you need it. The other one is for her, if her anxiety starts to affect the baby. If she uses it, make sure it's right after nursing or pumping. We've given her just enough to get through today and tomorrow. After that, if there are any issues, Dr. Tallchief, Dr. Winkler and I think that acupuncture or hypnosis might be the better way to go if she'll still be nursing."

When they got home, Steve from next door, and Dick and Angela Jenkins from down the street were there. Steve quietly let Danny know that he had changed the milk-soaked sheets and "picked up after the orgy" before Dick and Angela came over with the dinner ("comfort food – meat loaf, gravy, mashed potatoes, green beans with almonds, cherry cobbler, vanilla ice cream") that was being kept warm in the oven. Hank, Jessica, and Bill and Sally Rogers had taken the older kids to the beach. Everyone else, except Frank, Diana, and the two babies, was at the Robbins' pool. Some of the teenagers had picked up on the tension, but only the adults were aware of the potential crisis.

Danny mentioned something about going to get Paddy.

"CJ, why don't you and I do that?" Angela guided CJ toward the door.

After the women left, Dick and Steve turned to Danny.

"We want you to know that Dick and I are here for you in particular, Danny," Steve started. "My mom went through this right after Dad died and although everything turned out fine, it was a very rough two or three weeks for her, my sister and me."

"Six years before Charlene was killed in the robbery," Dick mentioned his first wife, the mother of his twin sons who were now in their last year of med school at UC San Francisco, "she was diagnosed and went through a mastectomy and chemo. I've been through this. Everyone's going to tell you what you need to be, do, and say for CJ, but Steve and I, especially, are going to make sure that you get whatever help and support you need. We're not going to go there now, because you two very likely won't get to that point, but just store it in the back of your mind that we've both been down that road and we're gonna make sure you aren't left to handle it all by yourself."

"When I found the lump, all I could think was 'Please, don't let me lose her'. Until she mentioned it, the thought that Paddy might be affected didn't even enter my mind."

"That's natural. Don't beat yourself up over it," Dick said. "When Charlene had her surgery, I didn't think about the boys for three days, until she asked about them. And they were old enough to be worried, to be afraid of losing their mother. I sent them to stay with my sister."

"Should I get someone here?"

"Don't jump the gun. Wait to see what happens," Steve said.

"They gave me something for her and something for me. For anxiety. Hers is short-time acting 2 or 3 hours a dose, but mine is longer. I don't know whether to take –".

"I think you two should take them tonight. We'll get someone here to help with the baby. It sounds like our wives are returning," Dick said as footsteps could be heard outside.

CJ went immediately into the nursery with her son while Danny saw everyone else to the door. There were reassurances that someone would be over in a little while so both CJ and Danny could take their anti-anxiety medications.

When Danny returned to the nursery, CJ had just finished changing the baby and was preparing to feed him. Danny pulled the both of them into the bedroom, sat in one of the big easy chairs, and pulled her and Paddy into his lap.

"I know what everyone said, but I'm still a little antsy with this," CJ said as she settled Paddy against her.

"Well, I trust Abbey and I trust Scott and I trust Linda," Danny assured her. He was telling the truth. He had to trust someone to give him the expert facts; he had neither the time nor the detached temperament to do any research on his own. He had to control his utter terror at the possibility of losing CJ in order to keep her from succumbing to her fears for herself and their son. So he held her as she held the baby.

When Paddy was done and she had pumped the excess, he made her take one of the anti-anxiety pills that had been prescribed for her.

A few minutes later, Jed and Abbey called. The former president was concerned and optimistic. He had learned to Google (and there is no fanatic like a recent convert); he was full of information and positive statistics.

"I know the odds are very good, sir," CJ told him. "But when you get to the individual, it's not a percentage, it's binary, all or nothing."

They decided to wait for the results of the needle biopsy. If things were still at issue after receiving them, they would let the others – Donna and Josh, Carol, Margaret – know. CJ began to get drowsy so the first couple rang off with assurances of prayers and availability if needed.

CJ insisted on having Paddy in the bassinet beside their bed when Danny made her lie down. After she nodded off, Danny called Franklin Hollis. CJ would not be able to handle the press conference with Jake Kimball and Antares on Monday. The man expressed his concern and said that he would fly down tomorrow to handle the announcements. He would also call Nancy so she could make whatever adjustments might be necessary. Would it be okay if he stopped by tomorrow after the events of the day?

As soon as he hung up with Hollis, the phone rang again. It was Lupé, the lactation coach. When should she come by tomorrow? Danny told her that he would like to be there when she came. He taught Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays at 10:00 AM, and then had office hours until noon on Mondays and Wednesdays. He could be home by 1:00, easily.

Danny checked on his charges. CJ was sleeping, a bit fitfully. Paddy was out like a light. He went to the den and worked on his lectures for the next week. Somehow, he managed to keep his mind on his work.

At dusk, she awoke and prepared plates for each of them, which they ate half-heartedly. As they were finishing, Hank and Steve came over. The three men put away the food while CJ took care of Paddy. Hank and Steve convinced both CJ and Danny to take their medications; one or both of them would be with them all night.

Shortly after 9:00 AM on Monday, Clara Pagoulatos, who lived across the street from Jessica and Cindy, came to stay with CJ while Danny went to his teaching duties. She was carrying a dish of spanakopita and one of souvlaki. Clara's husband had died shortly before CJ and Danny had moved onto the street. She was a substitute teacher for the Catholic parochial school system. Her four children were scattered about the country, the nearest being her son who lived with his family in Fresno, where he was a Greek Orthodox priest.

Clara and CJ watched as Danny drove off for Culver City.

"CJ, did you know that I'm a twenty year survivor?"

"Clara, I had no idea. Did you have surgery? And wasn't that before Laura was born? She's just a freshman at Rice, isn't she?"

"Yes, mastectomy plus reconstruction. It's the right one, in case you're wondering. And you're correct; I was able to have another baby afterwards. I'm telling you because I want you to know that even if they do find something, it can still be okay."

Danny returned shortly after 12:30 and Lupé came by an hour later. She brought with her some cans of the formula that Linda Tallchief recommended they try first as well as the Lact-Aid device. She also had a casserole dish and a package of homemade tortillas. "_Chile verde_," she announced.

She recommended that CJ run the tube alongside her breast so that Paddy got both breast milk and formula at the same time. If she decided to wean Paddy, she could also mix an ever-increasing amount of the formula in with her breast milk for bottle feedings to help the baby adjust to the change. Normally, it was not recommended, but this would be a special situation.

They sat for a while watching Paddy try to crawl on the family room floor, talking about how fast the time seemed to go. It was hard to believe that almost five months had passed since the birth of the baby.

"CJ, you nursed for five months. If you need to stop now, you have no reason to feel bad," the woman reassured her. "He's thriving and I'm sure he'll continue to do so. And don't worry; everything will be fine. You have my word on it." A smile covering her Hispanic features, the woman hugged CJ, put on her powder-blue jogging suit jacket, and gathered up her things.

Danny shook his head as he watched Lupé drive away. He couldn't shake the idea that he had met her before that day when he first saw CJ nurse his son. And what kind of pull did she have to get the "GOT MILK" personalized plates?

Franklin Hollis stopped by about 4:00. Everything had gone well with the press conference with Jake Kimbell. "Road to a Better World" would continue to build its roads efficiently and professionally with its experienced and trained teams; the new Antares endeavor, "Nurturing the Skill", would train local personnel to maintain the roads and the underlying bureaucracy needed to do so. One more crisis settled.

"I'm just sorry you had to step into this, Frank," CJ apologized to the man. "I know how busy you are, especially with Sarita in DC much of the time."

"CJ, you did all the leg work. I'm the one who should be apologizing; I feel guilty taking the spotlight at the end and I did make sure that the press knows that you are the one responsible for this eminently sensible solution to the problem."

They talked for a while longer. Frank told CJ and Danny not to think about the project until everything was settled with her health. Bonnie, Nancy, Glen Walken, and the general staff of the Hollis Foundation group could handle anything that needed handling; he was always available as source of last resort.

Dr. Roper's office called at 11:30 Tuesday morning. Danny put the phone on speaker and he held CJ in his arms as they waited for the surgeon.

There were several "paranormalities"; Dr. Roper hold them he was recommending surgery to remove the lumps and biopsy them. There was an opening in the outpatient surgery at UCLA a week from today and he had already reserved it. Could they come in later this afternoon to talk some more? And please remember that this was still a very hypothetical situation; they were being extremely overcautious.

Their first call was to Abbey. She told them that she and Jed would be out there next Monday and there was to be no discussion about it. If the three agents had to sleep on the floor of the den, so be it. They asked her to let the others know, or at least to start the chain rolling with Carol, Margaret, and Donna.

Erin was next on the list. She wanted to come over also, but was dissuaded when she found out that the Bartlets insisted on coming.

Calls to her brothers to have to wait until this evening when the men would be home. They told the neighbors, both about the results and about the upcoming visit by the Bartlets and its attendant security issues.

Dr. Roper explained the outpatient procedures. There was blood work to be done, a urinalysis needed, and some X-rays that she could take care of at her convenience before Monday. There were instructions about not eating or drinking after midnight Monday. She should wear something comfortable, like sweats. Assuming no complications, she should be home by 2:00 PM. Scott Winkler was aware of the results and the plans. She should stop by his office for the medication needed to stop her lactation.

She was able to schedule an early appointment with Scott for Wednesday morning. Danny would be able to go with her before his class at 10:00.

Hank and Steve came back that evening to be with her while Danny held his Tuesday evening office hour before teaching his Tuesday evening class. There were calls of concern and encouragement from Donna and Josh, Carol, Margaret, Sam and Morgan, and Ginger. Toby called and insisted on flying out; CJ told him that the Bartlets would be there. And if Danny was still meeting with his classes, Toby could do the same at Columbia.

Danny woke in the middle of the night to find CJ sitting on the edge of the bed, her back to him. Her shoulders were shaking. She was feeding Paddy, tears sliding down her face. "I'm so sorry, sweetie, I have to stop taking care of you like this."

He knelt behind her with his hands on her shoulders, kissing the side of her head just over her ear. "The three of us are going to be okay, babe. You have nothing to guilt yourself about. I love you; Paddy loves you."

When Paddy was full, Danny took the baby from her to burp and change and headed for the nursery. When he was done, he sat in the rocker and talked softly to his son. "Paddy, I'm going to need your help with your Mama. If you could please adjust to the formula, it would make the next few weeks a bit easier on us. Could you do that for her and for me, please?"

They spent the rest of the week trying to live their lives as normally as possible. People kept coming by with food. ("What, you expected Peking Duck?" Yan Wei asked, bringing in a lasagna casserole on Wednesday). Clara continued to stay with CJ and the baby while Danny taught his daytime class and also when he went to USC for his Thursday morning seminar. Bonnie came down from San Luis Obispo Thursday evening and stayed until Sunday afternoon to help Nancy with preparations for the Bartlets' visit. Danny talked with his department chair at West LA Community College and arranged for a substitute for his Tuesday evening class the day of the surgery. Paddy took to the formula with no problem except that whenever CJ tried to feed him, he instinctively moved toward her breast, so Danny, the neighbors and the Teen Club kids handled all the feedings, which were now about once every 5 hours.

Saturday afternoon, the women of the block were all at lunch in a local tearoom. Jessica had arranged it to help CJ's spirits.

Danny was drinking a beer and eating one of the leftover crab cakes that Laura Robbins brought over the night before ("I'm Maryland born and bred; you can't get good crab cakes west of the Potomac unless you make them yourself") when the doorbell rang. He answered it to find Dick Jenkins, a brown manila envelope in hand.

"Danny, I'm going to leave this with you. You can bury it in your desk and return it to me later, unopened, you can look at it later, or we can look at it together now. I know that if the worst happens, you'll be telling CJ that it doesn't matter and I know that you'll mean it, but, just in case, you might want to know what to expect, to be prepared. These are the pictures I got from the support group right after Charlene's operation."

Danny closed the door and walked into the den. He stared at the envelope for several minutes, took a deep breath, and opened it.

The shots were from the neck to the waist, full frontal and side views. They were labeled "segmentectomy", "simple mastectomy", "modified radical mastectomy", and "radical mastectomy". There were shots with one breast removed and shots with both breasts removed.

He stared at the photos. Then he returned them to the envelope and put it in the bottom drawer of his desk.

He remembered the first time he saw her. He remembered all the times he saw her in the press room, either live or on TV. What he was remembering was her face, her smile, her voice. He remembered her kisses, he remembered her babbling. **That** was what he remembered; that was what she was.

On Sunday after Mass, Father Luke administered the Anointing of the Sick to her; Danny was grateful to see that over half the congregation remained to participate in the sacrament.

On Sunday afternoon, right after Bonnie left, the Los Angeles branch of the Secret Service began their preparations for the Bartlets' visit.

After church, he had convinced her to take a Valium. Now that she was no longer nursing, she could use the longer-acting medications.

It was a warm afternoon and he had spread a blanket in the courtyard and was on it with Paddy, watching him as he flailed on his stomach, not yet figuring out how to make everything work together in a crawl. Sixteen year-old Becky Feldman had just dropped off her mom Hannah's "special chicken recipe" that smelled exactly like the one Toby had taught CJ. The baby made some gurgling sounds and reached for the little stuffed bear with the "Cal" T-shirt. Danny grabbed the toy, pulled Paddy into a seated position against his chest and playfully teased his son for a few seconds, moving the bear from side to side just within the child's reach, before letting it fall at the baby's feet. Paddy moved forward from his chest and reached for the toy. He held onto it and shook it up and down a few times.

"Hey, you're sitting on your own! Such a big boy! Let's go see if Mama's up and show her what you can do!"

Of course, Paddy promptly fell onto his side, but when Danny propped him up again, he remained that way for almost a minute.

Picking up the baby and the toy, Danny crossed the courtyard and headed toward the bedroom, walking quietly in case she was still sleeping.

She wasn't. She was standing in front of the dresser mirror in her half-slip, pressing her left breast flat and down, tears streaming down her face.

Oh, shit, he thought to himself, putting the baby in the bassinet.

"What in hell are you doing?" The soft tone of his voice and his arms coming around her shoulders softened the harshness of the words he spoke.

She stared into his eyes' reflection in the mirror. "Don't tell me the thought hasn't crossed your mind, what I would look like if the results are – if I need to have – ".

"All I've thought about is that I want **you**. I waited so God damned long for you and I don't want to lose **you**. I want you next to me. I want you to see Paddy sit up, to crawl, to walk. I want you and me taking him to his first day of school, watching him make his First Communion, riding his first two-wheeler, playing soccer and Little League, his prom, his graduation, his wedding, bringing us our first grandchild. I want you in the hot tub with me, in the car beside me, in bed next to me. If I have to, I can do without your breast or your hair or your teeth, but I can't do without your smile and without **you**. It took so long to find you and to win you. If ever I should lose **you**, that's what I've thought about." By this time, his voice was hoarse and he turned her round and crushed her against him. "If ever I should lose you, Jeanie."

The Bartlets and their motorcade arrived about 4:00 PM on Monday. The agents set up their command post in the garage.

"Damn, this is good beef bourguignon, Danny," Abbey said over dinner.

"I can't take any credit. Wally Hammash's mother's family ran one of the best French restaurants in Beirut before all the bombings; he made it. Everyone's been so great about bringing us stuff. We've got an international smorgasbord of leftovers in the refrigerator."

They had to be at the Medical Center by 7:00 AM. Abbey was going with the two of them. Jed wanted to come but the security detail would be too disruptive, so he stayed home with Paddy. Nancy came over to catch up with her old boss; Clara also came over to help with the baby.

She was in the staging area, in a hospital gown on a gurney by 8:30 Tuesday morning. Dr. Roper came in to go over the procedure once more; he was surprised to see Abbey with Danny, but quickly accepted her as part of CJ's support team. CJ and Danny signed the consent forms and then the pre-anesthetic was administered.

The pre-anesthetic had kicked in and she was woozy. The orderlies came to take her into the operating room. Holding her hand, he walked alongside until they told him he could go no further. He reached down and kissed her. "See you in a little bit. Love you."

"Love you back."

There was a bit of a stir as he, Abbey, and her two agents entered the waiting room. She talked with the others who were waiting, asking about their loved ones who were undergoing surgery, offering encouragement.

Two hours later, Dr. Roper joined them. "It took a little longer for the anesthetic to kick in; she's a very strong-willed woman."

"Tell me about it," Danny mumbled.

"We removed four growths from the left breast and three from the right, plus a couple of lymph nodes from each. The frozen sections all looked good. Of course, since we wouldn't have gone any further even if they hadn't, we really need to wait for the full pathology, but I'm almost certain that we are out of the woods. You can go wait with her in Recovery."

When she came to in the Recovery area, Dr. Roper came back and told her of his findings. He also told her that he was able to get by with making the incision on the aereola line on the right breast, so the scar would be practically invisible, but he did have to make a small cut on the underside of her left breast. A nurse went over her post-operative instructions. Her breasts were encased in sterile packing and she was bound up in what was essentially a heavy terry cloth towel and safety pins. After 48 hours, she could remove the dressing and shower. She should wear a plain cotton support bra, without underwires, for the next week, until her follow up appointment. She would probably be woozy and sleepy the rest of the day. Here was some Tylenol-3 to be used as needed.

She was indeed out for the rest of the day. Danny was keyed up but exhausted and Abbey made him take a Valium. While he was sleeping, Pietro and Sonya Dieliczko dropped off a dish of stuffed cabbage and spent some time talking with the former president, telling him how they came to be in Santa Monica after leaving Cracow eight years ago.

On Wednesday, she slept off and on, and ate lightly – toast, eggs, soup. Abbey washed her hair in the kitchen sink using the spray attachment and also helped her with tub bathing.

That afternoon and early evening, Danny had arranged (well, he had Bonnie and Nancy arrange) with a caterer for food and drinks for a small open house to thank the neighbors and to introduce all of them to the Bartlets.

Frank Hollis flew down from San Luis Obispo and Sarita came in from DC, bearing cards and gifts from the Washington crowd. She was able to sit in the courtyard for an hour in the afternoon and then again for another half-hour later in the evening.

Thursday morning, while Danny was down at USC, Abbey helped her in the shower. The former president announced his intention to make chili and dragooned Steve to take him and his Secret Service detail to the supermarket for the ingredients. Father Niko stopped by with a cake from the rectory housekeeper.

For the first time, Paddy took a bottle from her without trying to get to her breast. She was smiling and crying at the same time.

Sam was in Los Angeles and stopped by the house that afternoon. In addition to wanting to see her, it was his first chance to see Jed and Abbey since his ascension to the office of governor.

Paddy stayed in a seated, upright position for two minutes.

Diana and Maggie were with them on Friday afternoon when they received the call from Dr. Roper's office. Finally, they had definite negative results on all the lumps that had been removed. He did want to schedule follow-up mammograms and ultrasounds every six months for the next eighteen months. And she should come in next Thursday for follow up and to make get the external sutures removed.

CJ collapsed against Danny's shoulder; he kissed the side of her head. Diana went to spread the good news to the others on the block. The former president and his wife tactfully withdrew to the guest room, taking Paddy with them. Abbey called Margaret, Donna, and Carol. Then they made plans to leave the next day.

Walking into the nursery through the hallway door, they could see that CJ was lying on the bed; the slight wheezing sound testified to her sleeping state. They could see Danny sitting on the deck, facing the ocean. Abbey went to the kitchen to heat a bottle for Paddy.

The former president walked out onto the deck and sat down next to Danny on the glider. He reached out and put a hand on the younger man's shoulder.

"Danny?"

Danny raised anguished eyes to the former president, who pulled the other man to him.

Letting go of everything he had dealt with over the past two weeks, Danny Concannon sobbed against the shoulder of the man who had become the surrogate father to his wife and himself. "I have been so frightened, so terrified, of losing her. If ever I should lose her. After all that time, all that waiting, to have all of this, to have her and then to lose her. I can't imagine living without her."

"I know. But you won't have to. At least, not now."

The past two weeks had been a time of crisis for himself and CJ, a time of growth for his son, and a time of change for the three of them. With the help of friends, old and new, they had survived.


	39. Harvest Home

**Harvest Home**

CJ/Danny, Donna/Josh, Ginger/OMC, mentions of Carol/OMC, Toby/Andy, Jed/Abbey, others

R/Adult – some sex

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

Note: Paul has informed my muse and me that we made a grievous mistake. He did not change his mind about law school until after his second year and CJ's junior year. "Auld Lang Syne" is being rewritten to correct our mistake and will be updated/reposted soon.

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_Early evening, November 8, 2009, Santa Monica, CA_

They lay together in peaceful, satiated contentment. When his engorgement had shrunk to the point that it slipped from her of its own accord, he had shifted his right leg outside hers and his right shoulder to the bed beside hers, but he still lay on her, planting little kisses on the side of her neck and her left shoulder blade. His right arm nestled around her head on the pillow, lightly resting on her left ear. She still clasped his left hand in hers, planting little kisses of her own on his knuckles. They were each becoming drowsy and he disengaged his left hand to reach down to pull the covers over the both of them.

"Dammit!"

"Danny?" she asked, turning onto her left side.

"Cramp," he said through gritted teeth.

CJ could see the rigid tension in his left calf; saw the left big toe stuck out at a sixty-degree angle to the others on his foot. She crawled down to the foot of the bed and, applying pressure against the foot while massaging the calf, relaxed muscles and tendons to the point where they slipped into their natural state. She kissed his ankle and then reclaimed her place alongside him.

"Sorry for breaking the mood." He softly spoke against the side of her head.

"Sooner or later, Paddy would have done it. Times have changed."

Last year and the year before, they had developed this custom of not speaking while making love with each other on this day, the anniversary of the day after Santos' victory and Leo's death, the day they consummated the relationship that had been building for so many years.

They did not approach it as if they were reenacting a Civil War battle; they didn't wear the same type of clothing or use the same positions. But they did observe total silence from the time one of them approached the other until they woke the next morning.

This evening, Danny had been working on Percy Fitzwallace's biography in the den when CJ came to him wearing the midnight blue toga-style nightgown that Abbey Bartlet had given her. She was carrying a cut crystal tumbler of "MacDonald moonshine". Looking into his eyes, she took a sip and handed it to him. He took a sip, set down the glass, and, his arm at her shoulders, hers at his waist, they walked to the bedroom to begin their ritual.

Now they lay for a few minutes in companionable silence. He gingerly flexed his left foot, not wanting to set off the cramping and spasms again.

They were just dozing again when Paddy stirred, whimpered, and then cried aloud. With a slight sigh, Danny started to get out of bed.

"I'll do it."

"No, I can do it."

"Really, it's no –".

"Let's both do it," he said, "I'm a little hungry anyway. You?" As she nodded her head, he reached into a drawer and pulled out a pair of royal blue pajamas with the Cal Bears logo. Throwing her the top, he put on the bottoms and went to fetch his son. "You start the bottle; I'll check and change him."

Fifteen minutes later, the three of them were at the kitchen table. CJ was giving the baby a bottle and some applesauce. She was also eating the bite-sized pieces of tuna melt that Danny was feeding her in between eating some himself. When Paddy reached for a piece, he scraped the tuna and cheese mixture onto the small spoon with the initials "P.R." engraved on the back that had been a baptismal gift from the Bartlets.

"I'll take over with the applesauce."

As he spooned the fruit into his son's mouth, she brought out a bottle of white wine and poured each of them a glass.

"You'll eat the fruit stuff and the meat stuff and the starch stuff, kid o' mine," Danny said, "why don't you like the veggie stuff? Both Mama and I like our veggies."

"But we don't eat canned or bottled," CJ said, "just fresh or maybe frozen. Maybe we can try puréeing stuff in the blender and seeing if he does better with that."

"CJ, your brother called again earlier today, restated the invitation to go up to Napa for Thanksgiving".

"Four days without you in school or teaching. I just want the time for us. I don't care if we watch football and basketball the whole time, or if you have to study or grade papers, or if I have to read umpteen jillion reports, as long as we can do it beside each other in comfortable clothes and not too many of them. That's what I told Abbey when she called and asked us to join their clan. That's what you told Erin when she asked if we wanted company for that weekend. That's why I'm glad that Hogan is meeting her submariner in Greece and not coming here. That's what I told Frank and Sarita when they asked us up to San Luis Obispo. I'm almost tempted to skip going up to Joel and Hannah's for dinner, but I would have to explain and I would go on and on and you would get that funny look in your eyes and that smile on your face, and then one of us would have to cook."

The Feldman family had claimed Thanksgiving as their own when they moved onto the block some 10 years ago. Everyone who had no place else to go and who wasn't having guests themselves (and even some of the latter if the number of guests was small) were expected to have Thanksgiving with Joel and Hannah. Hannah began preparing two or three weeks in advance and always took off the entire week of Thanksgiving from her job at UCLA's Arts Library. As happens in most families, the food was a combination of the traditional Thanksgiving fare (turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, the ubiquitous green bean/mushroom soup/french-fried onion dish) and ethnic specialties. In Hannah's case, that meant borscht, cheese blintzes, challah, plus two or three other vegetable dishes. To the inevitable "what can we bring" questions, Hannah answered, "appetizers, desserts, alcohol." She also borrowed tableware, linens, card tables, and chairs. While the meal was served buffet-style, everyone ate at tables with proper glassware, cutlery, and dishes.

It really was very nice. Dinner was served at 3:00 or so, depending on when the turkeys were done, but people started gathering "anytime after 10:00" to watch the parades and the football games and to try not to ruin their appetites on all the goodies that everyone brought. The first year, CJ and Danny were "the new kids on the block", but everyone made them feel welcome (when Joel said the blessing, he included "the addition of CJ and Danny to our block" in the list of things for which they were thankful) and they enjoyed themselves very much. In retrospect, it was the start of their becoming "normal", of realizing that they were indeed going to become very good and enjoy being very good at this new phase of their lives.

Last year, they had driven up to Napa to the winery that her brother and sister-in-law ran for Gina's family. In its own way, it was also very nice. The huge extended family ate outside overlooking the vineyards and the sunny warmth added to the sense of the holiday. CJ had warned Danny that the huge plates of antipasti and the big bowls of fresh-made pasta with homemade sausage that Gina's mom had on the table was not the entire meal. She told him that when she and Paul went up there her junior year, he assumed that the Italian family ate differently than the rest of the country and filled up on the pasta course. Then when the regular full Thanksgiving meal appeared, he picked at it and had to explain why he wasn't eating.

But this year, they were staying put, both for Thanksgiving and for Christmas ("Paddy is going to have most of his early Christmases in his own home," Danny insisted. "The kids next to us growing up were always at one set of grandparents on Christmas Eve and at the other set on Christmas Day. Santa never came to their house; they never opened any presents in their own house. My dad thought it was a crime.")

After the breast lump scare of last month, the two of them decided that they needed to make sure that their lives were not so busy that they didn't have time for talking and sharing with each other. They set aside time everyday (after breakfast on the weekends, in the evening after his class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, after dinner on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays) when they would talk about anything and everything related to their marriage and to themselves. They would not answer the phones or the door. Only Paddy took precedence over "their time".

One of the first things they decided was their planned travel for the next year. With Danny's classes, both taking and teaching, not to mention her work with "Road to a Better World", they needed to keep late August through mid-May free of major jaunts. Carol's wedding on the third weekend in May and Ginger's planned reunion in late July would take them to the east coast; so might Zoey and Charlie's, if the two of them ever picked a date. Erin was pressing them to come to Ireland and they could handle that after Ginger's thing. Other than that, their travel would have to be restricted to the occasional long weekend.

"CJ, we can always get some frozen dinners and nuke them. The only thing I really want to do is watch 'Miracle on 34th Street', the original with Edmund Gwenn, Maureen O'Hara, and Natalie Wood in black and white."

"No, Joel and Hannah's will be fun. I told her I'd make the little hot dogs in currant jelly-bourbon-mustard sauce, so it won't be a lot of work on my part. Just promise me we won't have to leave the house on Friday. If we did go up to Napa, Gina would want to take me to all the 'Black Friday' hoopla." She began to pick up their dishes and glasses and headed toward the dishwasher.

He looked down at a sleeping Paddy, and stood up. "Like **I'm** going to drag you to a mall. Let's get him back in the crib and let's you and I get back to other things." He picked up the baby.

"Oops." A knife fell out of the silverware basket and onto the bottom of the dishwasher. She bent over from the waist to retrieve it. The pajama top slid up and her entire backside was uncovered to his view.

The effect on him was instantaneous, both physically and emotionally. On the one hand, there was lust – it was the only way to describe what he was feeling for her. On the other hand, he was very much aware of his child in his left arm, cradled against his chest. For the first time, he thought he sensed what she must feel when both he and Paddy needed her.

He gently put his free hand on her posterior just as she started to straighten. "Please, stay - " he said hoarsely.

She held still for a few seconds while he continued to caress her. "Danny, I'm gonna need some support, maybe a chair if we –".

He moved up behind her, letting her feel his arousal against her. Then he put his free arm around her lower rib cage and pulled her upright.

"I've got Paddy in my other arm; there's no way I could manage - ," he laughed lightly. "I just can't explain what and how I felt when I saw you bent over like that. It was so erotic; I just had to touch you." He kissed the back of her neck, turned her toward the other side of the house, and walked her over to the nursery, where they put their son in his crib, kissed him goodnight, and then put one of the overstuffed easy chairs in the bedroom to good use.

_Wednesday evening November 11, 2009_

"CJ, honey, come on and sit?" he stretched out a hand to her. He had cooked supper tonight (salmon steaks, rice, and broccoli) and she was putting away the leftovers.

"Danny?" she noticed the typed pages on thick cream-colored letterhead in his other hand.

"I got this from a solicitor – a law firm – in Scotland today. It seems that Brianna left me a small cottage about an hour northwest of Inverness, something she inherited from her first husband."

"You now have property in Scotland?"

"**We** now have property in Scotland; I mean, I'm the one in the will, but you know that we share - . Anyway, there's a third cousin of Jem's who would really like the cottage, it's next to his property, would like something to give to his younger son, wants to keep Ogilvie land in the clan, et cetera, and has offered to buy it. Part of me wants to just deed over the rights, I mean if it's family land and all. Part of me thinks that Brianna wanted me to have something and that I shouldn't just discard it, that it would dishonor her memory. And part of me wants to make sure that you are okay with all of this?"

She bent over to kiss him. "I have no problem with what was between you and Brianna, you know that. Maybe selling it would be the best way to go. That way we could enjoy something in her memory. Did they mention a number?"

"Fair market value would be about $250,000, our money. I was thinking, it probably wouldn't be enough to buy a place up north, unless it was rather primitive, but it would be very substantial equity on something small, away from the coast."

"That might be nice. As I said before, I **do** want indoor plumbing and running water, hot and cold. And a bedroom with a door. Electricity would be nice, but I could make do with a generator. I don't need a super-fancy refrigerator or stove and I don't need a dishwasher. Why don't you call Erin and Robin tomorrow and ask them what they think?"

"Good idea. Now tell me more about your day."

"I think I bit off a little more than I can chew, trying to have six building projects going at once."

"Are you going to have to suspend a couple of them?"

"No, the teams are all in place and working together fine. What I would like to propose to the board is to give Nancy and Bonnie promotions to something like administrative vice-presidencies and hire each of them assistants. I'm thinking that they could each oversee three or four at a time, eventually, and I could handle two or three along with everything else I do. Glen needs surgery on his knee sometime soon, so I'll have to do a bit more fund-raising for a while. The next board meeting isn't until February, though, and I don't want to give them the responsibility without the titles. It wouldn't be fair." CJ sighed and curled up against his chest.

"This isn't something you can do on your own?" Danny asked.

"Responsibility, sure. Raises, no problem. But vice-presidencies, nope, have to go to the board for titles."

"Why don't you sound out the Hollis' on the subject? If they're on board with you, the others will be a snap. I just don't want you overburdened these next few months. Sometimes I hate the holiday season."

"I know. Sometimes I wish that Thanksgiving wasn't a_ de facto _four-day weekend for almost everyone outside of retail and banking. Everybody wants us to visit; I just want to veg out."

_Thursday November 12, 2009_

"Really, CJ, it would be no trouble. My mother-in-law likes to do the real traditional food based on the Plymouth Rock cookbooks, so there will be lots of seafood as well as the usual stuff. Toby's coming with Andy and the twins and I know he would love to see you. You have no idea how upset he was while you were waiting on the biopsies. I mean, you gave all of us a scare, we were so afraid for you, but he was so terrified for you. I was always closer to him than Bonnie was, so I think he used me for the emotional support he needed but felt he couldn't ask of Andy. Rick's sister and her brood will be here, and a couple of old maid aunts, but, like I said, the place has fifteen bedrooms, plus all the unused servants' rooms on the fourth floor. The airport isn't far with the bridge. I only wish I had thought to ask the Bartlets before they made all their plans."

"Ginger, I'm sure that Thanksgiving in Newport would be absolutely fabulous and yes, Danny would enjoy sailing on Narragansett Bay. The idea of having clambake food without clambake sand is indeed heavenly. And the fact that I wouldn't be expected to lift one little pinky finger to help sounds like nirvana. President Bartlet has already told me that having Thanksgiving in New England is like having Easter in Jerusalem. We just need the time to ourselves; we are counting the days like a 5 year-old does at Christmas."

"Well, you can change your mind at the last minute, you know that. Listen, is the 27th of March a good day for you for Carol's shower?"

"Let me check and get back with you. Ginger, I really appreciate your taking care of this for me. It would be hard for me to do all the leg work from the other side of the country."

"CJ, it's my pleasure. And it's so easy. My mother-in-law's social secretary is the woman who trained Lily Mays, so you know she's good. And she is glad to have something to do. Since Mom and Arnie got married, they've become quite the reclusive little lovebirds. Thanksgiving will be the first time they've spent with company since the reception Rick and I threw when they got back from Aruba. My sister-in-law showed up at the Cape May place unannounced last weekend and caught them naked in the conservatory in the Japanese garden!"

"Well, it's only been a month; they **are** still newlyweds."

"But at their age?"

"More power to them. I hope Danny and I are still going at it when we're that old."

"Well, yeah, Rick and me, too. With those little pills if necessary." Ginger suppressed a giggle.

_Saturday November 14, 2009_

"CJ, Margaret and Carol were so worried about you. I was, too, actually. We really would love to see you guys. And we could take you to see the place that Josh and I are really thinking about buying. It's about an hour from here, near Quantico, in a little town called Widewater Beach, right next to a place called Fritter's Corner. It's right on the Potomac. The directions even include 'after you leave the paved road'. I never imagined me in such a rural setting, I mean, even in Wisconsin, we lived in town."

"Donna, like I've told everyone else, we are really looking forward to having the four-day weekend pretty much to ourselves. Also, we're having Danny's classes here on the 24th; sort of a non-alcoholic cocktail party, a chance for the kids to socialize and for Danny to interact with them outside of the classroom. He said that a couple of his professors at Notre Dame would do this and he really enjoyed the evenings; of course, back then, they could get away with serving wine to the students, even those who were underage. And getting plane tickets this late would be next to impossible. Anyway, I would have thought that you, Josh, and Noah would be going to Camp David with the Santos'?"

"Josh and I felt like we needed to do something on our own. We've been to Camp David the past two years. And just between you and me, I'm tired of fried turkey with molé barbeque sauce and jalapeño cornbread dressing, not cooked in the bird, thank God. I want to make my grandma Moss' wild rice stuffing or my nonna's Italian sausage stuffing and Josh wants his mom's latkes and kugel. Anyway, I've invited Carol and her David, Cathy, Bram, Otto, Rina, Matt Skinner and his partner Eric, Margaret, and your friend Paul. And his kids, they'll be visiting."

"Then we're definitely not coming; I don't want him to suspect that I'm trying to fix him up. Thanks again for the invitation and good luck. I wouldn't try a big dinner with a 14 week-old."

"CJ, everyone else is bringing all the side stuff; we're just doing the turkey, stuffing, gravy, and potatoes. And I've hired a cleanup crew for afterward."

"So, now that you've met him, do you think Paul and Margaret would be good together or are you doing this just because I asked?"

"He **is** a nice man; I'm still not sure of the Margaret thing, but for you, I'm willing to plot a little. The bait is a special tour of the White House on Friday for him and the kids. Only I'll be home sick and Margaret will take over the tour guide duties. Naturally, she doesn't know a thing about it either. "

"Well, you will definitely have to call and let me know how it went. Now, back to this place on the river. Do you see it as a weekend place or do you envision living there all the time?"

"Well, not right now, of course. Sometimes I think that the Santos' would like to put up a modular home on the White House grounds for Josh, Noah, and me; or a FEMA trailer. But I'm kind of hoping that Josh would want to take a break from this heavy stuff after 2014. Maybe be an advisor or something. However, I think he has dreams of taking Sam out of California and to the White House. I can't see Sam being ready for that in four years; hell, I don't even know if he wants to aim higher. Have you talked with him lately? How are he and Morgan doing? Are they still upset about losing the baby? I know I would be."

"I haven't talked with him since last month when he stopped by while we were waiting on the pathology reports. I know they're trying again because he made some comment about a two-day window and then blushed. Now, as far as higher office goes, I do think that Sam will at least run for president some day, but I agree with you that 2014 would be too soon. And if Santos wins again next year, and I think he will, the country might be ripe for a GOP POTUS, hopefully someone moderate. You know, Skinner should think about a senatorial or gubernatorial bid; he might be good as president some day."

"Do you think we'll see a gay president before a female or an African-American one?"

"Who knows? All I care is that he or she be intelligent and sensible."

"CJ, my kid is crying. If you change your mind, you know you guys are more than welcome."

"Maybe next year, especially if you have the place on the river. By the way, thanks for emailing the Halloween photo of Noah. That Hershey's Kiss costume was just too cute; Paddy was a pumpkin, I'll get Danny to email you a jpg. Kiss him and Josh for me and let me know how things go with Margaret and Paul."

_Sunday November 15, 2009_

"Seriously, Abbey, I really need the time to get ready for the end of the semester and I think both CJ and I are emotionally drained from October. I know how beautiful it would be on the farm, maybe some other time."

"Danny, I know that Jed and I were with you just last month, but the two of you really do feel like part of the family, more than any of the others. I guess it's because the two of you are total orphans. Mallory and John are coming, as is Jenny. And of course all of our kids, Charlie and Deanna, Debbie and her guy. Zoey and Charlie will be getting married on July 3rd, plan to be here for the weekend at least. Oh, and Lord Marbury."

"In that case, I'm definitely not exposing my wife to that man! You tell your husband that he is a saint for tolerating all the leering and salacious talk that Lord John throws at you."

"See, that's the thing – it's all talk. I'm sure that if I were to respond, he would just about kill himself trying to back away from the situation."

"Well, you may be a better judge of character than I, but I'm not risking my wife. Listen, maybe next year. Give my best to the President."

_Monday November 16, 2009_

"Shove the mistress out the window, I'm home!" CJ entered the front hallway and stopped to look at the mail.

Danny's voice came out of the den. "You flatter me. I barely have enough to keep you happy, let alone another woman."

He swore as she walked into the room. "Another kid copied four paragraphs verbatim from Wikipedia." He marked a big red "F" on the paper in front of him, threw it on the larger of the two piles on his desk, and reached up to meet her lips descending on his. Then he stood and draped his arms loosely on her shoulders and assumed his "I'm trying to be stern but failing at it" look.

"CJ, it's 8:15 - ".

"I know. The traffic was horrible coming back from San Diego; there was a bad wreck. I did leave there at 5:00. My cell battery died and I couldn't find the charging cord. I'm really sorry."

"I know you are, and I guess it couldn't be helped. I was just so worried. Go see your son and I'll get the food out." He pushed her toward the other side of the house.

"You didn't eat?"

"Like I said, I was so worried."

Fifteen minutes later, having heated up some leftover chili, he opened two beers and followed the sound of CJ talking to Paddy. The two of them were on the bed. She was in a pair of ragged sweats, waving her hair in front of his hands. He was babbling two-syllable sounds, she was repeating simple sentences. "Grab Mama's hair. Yes, you can. Yes you can."

"Soup's on," he told her.

They took him with them to the table and set him in the cradle carrier with a rattle to keep him occupied. They dumped chili on lettuce, added extras (_pico de gallo_, cheese, and sour cream for him, just _pico de gallo_ for her) and ate in companionable silence for a few minutes.

He took a gulp from his beer.

"Sam called. He invited us up to Sacramento for Thanksgiving."

"No-o-o!" she groaned.

"It's okay, I told him we needed the break for ourselves; he said he understood. However, he really wants us up there for the Christmas Ball on December 12th; it's a Saturday, black tie. I checked with Diana and they could take Paddy for the weekend, especially if we can take Maggie the next weekend."

"What about finals and stuff like that?"

"My exams are take homes, basically papers to write. I've already made some headway. The time slots for the two classes at Culver City are the next week. I think I have the exams finalized, so it should be no problem." His voice got a little husky. "I always liked you in that gray dress from back in '98."

"If I can get into it, you've got it. The Hollis' Christmas party is the Saturday before. Bonnie and Jean-Luc have offered us their guest room. It's just cocktail party dressy. I'll take your gray suit to the cleaners tomorrow."

"Goo – gah – kaw- da- da- ".

"Did he just say?" CJ asked.

"It was just nonsense syllables; they don't really know what they are saying for at least another 8 or 9 months." Danny tried to sound blasé about it, but she could tell that he was beaming.

He noticed the little tear in her left eye. "And the 'Di' sound is easier to make than the 'Mi' sound."

"It's not that," she wiped at it. "It's just that he's changing so fast. I mean, I'll turn around, and the next thing I know, he's walking. Or I'll turn around, and he'll be dating, or driving."

"Hey, he still hasn't mastered crawling yet. Although I think he's getting there. Anyway, just don't turn around," he grinned at her.

She socked him in the head as she went to the refrigerator. She pulled out a cheesecake box and, lifting her eyebrows, silently asked him if he wanted a slice.

She put a small bit of the filling on her finger and gave it to Paddy.

"Do you think he might be ready for a high chair?" Danny asked CJ.

"I don't know; I'll check with Linda."

She put some more cheesecake on her finger, but this time, she put her finger by Danny's mouth. He did the same with his finger and her mouth.

The dishes were left until morning.

_Friday November 20, 2009_

"Yes, Mark, I do remember the time in '90, but we live half a mile from a beach, so we **will** be spending Thanksgiving on one, as it were. But thanks for thinking of us. Eat a few crabs for me."

_Tuesday November 24 2009 -- conversation snippets_

"Gee, Mr. Concannon's wife seems smart; she knows a lot about how government works."

"Shit, Jeremy, where have you been for the last 10 years? Don't you know who she is? Look at that wedding picture on the mantel; that's President Bartlet dancing with her. She was his Press Secretary for six and a half years and then she ran the White House for the man. Now she's involved in some major project over in Africa for the CompuPod guy. Did you think she sat home all day and darned socks?"

"That phone call he took earlier; that was Governor Seaborn!"

"What's the matter with Amber?"

"I think she's realized that she can't use her looks and her body to get a better grade in this class. Mrs. Concannon is really attractive and it's obvious that they are in love with each other."

"Omagod! Those are Pulitzers that he's holding in those pictures!"

"Yeah, he has them in his den. Mrs. Concannon was telling Andy and me about them earlier."

"Look at that picture! It's the Queen!"

"I was in the kitchen with her and I offered to empty the garbage. He came in while I was just outside, he didn't know I was there; boy, did he kiss her! I almost told them to get a room before I realized that a) they have one just over that way, and b) he **is **our teacher."

"That baby is just too cute!"

"It's nice of him to have us do this tonight instead of having class tomorrow morning. I have so much to do for Thanksgiving; it will be nice to have Wednesday morning for shopping."

"Does anyone know why they have those little fishbowl ornaments in the flowers by the fountain?"

_Thursday November 26, 2009_

_Manchester, NH_

It was a cold and crisp day outside, not a cloud in the sky, the sun shining on the trees gilded in shades of amber, rust, orange, and umber, had already melted most of snow that had fallen that morning.

In the large country dining room, Jed stood at the head of the table, which was laden with food in pewter serveware dating from before the Revolution. He looked around at his wife, their daughters, their sons-in-law, their grandchildren, and their guests.

"Blessed God, we thank You for all You have given us. We thank You for the bounty of this table.

"We thank You for our freedom. We thank You for the love of family and friends, both present with us and miles apart. We thank You for our health. We ask You to remember our beloved departed, especially our brother Leo.

"We ask You for peace and for the courage to seek peace. We ask You to bless this planet and all that live on it. We ask You to give us the strength to be good stewards of this planet.

"And, as always, we ask this in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen."

_Newport, RI_

The warm breezes of the Indian Summer day wafted off the whitecaps in the ocean and into the dining room of the stately Newport mansion. The table was set with fine linen, delicate bone china, brightly polished sterling, and sparkling crystal.

Rick stood at his mother's right hand. He had gladly ceded the place at the head of the table to his new stepfather, but he had quietly asked that he be permitted to give the blessing this year. He smiled down to the end of the table, to the red-headed wonder that had become part of his life almost two years ago, who had taken his children as her own. Last Thanksgiving, he had thanked God aloud for Ginger; this year, he thanked Him in his heart, much as he did every day.

"Let us join hands and bow our heads in prayer.

"God of all, we thank You for the bounty spread before us, the bounty of earth, sky, and sea, and the work of human hands.

"We thank You for sending us Celia and Arnie to add new life and love to our family.

"We thank You for the friendship and the presence of Toby, Andy, Huck, and Molly, and for Aunt Melanie and Aunt Hallie.

"We thank You for the extraordinary wealth with which You have blessed our family and we ask You for the grace to always remember that because You have given us so much more, You expect so much more in return from us, from time and talent as well as treasure. May we always use what You have given us in the service of others.

"We are taught that You made us in your image; therefore, You must have a sense of humor. As good Episcopalians, we remember that 'Wherever three or four are gathered, there's a fifth'. And, as we learned at St. Alban's:

'Name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost:

Who eats the fastest, gets the most!'"

"Rick," his mother admonished, "will you ever grow up?"

_Washington, DC_

It was chilly, misty and foggy. Leaves fell sullenly among the monuments of the city. However, the Lyman condominium was aglow with candlelight; the warmth of the fire in the living room was an echo of the warmth of the friendship that permeated the dwelling.

Rina, Otto, and Cathy were helping Donna with the food. Paul was talking with Carol and her fiancé, David; it turned out that David belonged to the same denomination as did Paul. Paul's daughter was holding Noah and playing Slapjack with Margaret's little boy, Bram, and Matt Skinner's partner, Eric. Matt and Margaret were discussing politics with Paul's son.

Josh Lyman stood by the fireplace, observing. He thought about Thanksgivings past, a bit about those with his parents in Connecticut, but more about the ones of the past ten years in the White House. Did he, Sam, and Toby really cause two turkeys to spend a weekend in CJ's office? Were they really that, that, boyish, for lack of a better word?

They had spent that Thanksgiving together and now they were scattered. He wished they could all be together, the old gang, but he also realized that each of them were pursuing new things, new lives, and were probably much happier because of it.

Toby, with his ideals, was certainly well suited to the ivy-covered towers of Columbia. Perhaps he might even become happy enough to win back fair Andrea. In any event, Toby was the darling of the ivory tower university crowd. And that was a good thing. People like Josh, people down in the trenches of day-to-day government, needed the theoretical academic folks to hold their feet to the fire, to make sure that government did not get bogged down into ends justifying means, to make sure that the country understood that survival without a constitutional compass was not desirable; it would mean that while the geographic entity known as the United States of America might exist, the country, the nation conceived in 1776 and birthed in 1789, would cease to exist.

He missed Sam dreadfully at first and was even a bit upset with his leaving them back in February, but given the events of last August, it was, in retrospect, the right move for Sam. Everyone always said that Sam was destined for elective office. From what he gathered (and his gathering instincts were as sharp as ever), Sam would easily win the election next year, and since his current term would be less than two years, he could run again in 2014. After that, with any luck, Josh Lyman would have another president to conceive, nurture, and bring forth, assuming Sam wanted it and Donna didn't mind his staying in the game. And Margaret had come into her own; her organizational skills were fast becoming legendary. Josh could spend his time dealing with policy. (Of course, having Amy and Hoynes to deal with the legislative arena was a big help.)

You only had to look at CJ for five seconds to know that she was truly happy in all aspects of her life. After eight years of actualizing Jed Bartlet's agenda, she was putting forth one of her own, but in an arena that allowed her the happiness she shared with Danny. Seeing the two of them together, and now with their son, he was glad that she resisted Matt's and his attempts to pull her into the current administration. Of all of them, CJ and Danny were living the most "normal" life, but he sometimes thought that the two of them were the happiest, the most fulfilled, of the old gang. Or at least, of the senior staff; if you added in the old assistants and aides, Ginger would certainly give CJ a run for the money for that title.

And then there was Donna. He remembered how upset he was when she left to work for Russell, how upset he was when he found out that CJ had encouraged her to look beyond her role as his assistant. But he now realized that the two of them needed it. They needed to be apart for three reasons.

One, she had to prove to herself that she could be more than an assistant. Two, he had to realize that she could be more than an assistant and needed to see her succeed on her own, without him. Third and most important, they both had to break away from the false sense of family, the kind of incest taboo, that working together imposed of them. There was no way they could have realized that they belonged together as husband and wife while they were functioning as brother and sister. Donna was guiding Helen Santos into her own as First Lady, much the same way that Leo guided Jed Bartlet. And in so doing, his wife was becoming noticed, a force of her own in politics. Once she got the academic credentials to go along with the street ones she was building, she could, if she wanted, move into higher circles. He realized, just now, that this could be a good thing. If he burnt out, or if Sam chose not to move beyond California, he could retire, write, or even teach, and Donna could support them. Hell, he was liberated enough to live off his wife.

So here he was, a real grownup hosting a real holiday party for coworkers and friends. Oh, and for a friend of a friend. Donna was a bit reticent about CJ's friend Paul, only that CJ had asked her to help him when he moved to DC. Last week, when talking with Danny, he found out that this guy and CJ dated while they were both at Berkeley. He wished he could be as accepting of Donna's old boyfriends as Danny seemed to be of this guy. But then, maybe this guy wasn't as close to CJ, seeing he's a minister and all. You would have thought that CJ would have dated the more radical types. But then, when he told Danny that Donna had invited him to Thanksgiving, he sensed that there was something else going on, something that Danny wasn't quite so happy about. Oh, well, he had enough things to worry about. If and when he needed to worry about Paul, Donna would tell him.

The meal would be a bit cramped, with fourteen people in the condo. Next year, they would very well be having Thanksgiving in a house on the river. Wow, Joshua Lyman, country squire. Who would a thunk it?

Donna came over to let Josh know that everything was ready. He cleared his throat and asked for everyone's attention.

"In a minute, I am going to impose upon Paul to say a more formal blessing. Sorry, Paul, I guess it's a busman's holiday for you. For now, I just want to say 'Thank you' to our Creator for all that he has given us this year, especially for the gift of Noah to Donna and me, and for bringing David into Carol's life. I also want to thank all of you for sharing this day with Donna and me. You are welcome in our home. We treasure your friendship."

_Santa Monica, CA_

The weather in southern California was unseasonably hot and sunny. Everyone on the block except for Clara, the Wei's, and the Hammash's were at the Feldman place, some on the deck enjoying the view of the mountains in the distance, some in the family room watching the Bears/Lions game, some in other parts of the house.

CJ walked into the Feldman living room and played with the hair on Danny's neck as she passed behind him, then perched on the armrest of the chair in which he was sitting. She handed the plate of assorted hors d'oeuvres to Diana and held up the pitcher of spiced apple cider laced with Calvados. Frank, sitting next to Diana on one loveseat, and Danny raised their glasses to be filled. Steve and Jessica, sitting on the other, indicated that they were fine. She then picked up her own glass from the coffee table and topped off the beverage.

"Kids okay?" Diana asked CJ.

"Sound asleep within 30 seconds after I changed the both of them. When I walked in, your little slut of a daughter and our satyr of a son were lying there, head to toe, hands in, um, personal positions - ."

"On themselves or each other?" Danny asked, earning a swat on the side of his head.

"Jimmy Jenkins is in there with them. He was telling me he just finished a Pediatrics rotation at UCSF. Carmen and Cindy were clinging to his every word."

"My women have deserted me for a younger man," Steve put his right hand on his heart and sighed dramatically.

"Use 'em or lose 'em."

"Jessica!" Diana exclaimed as Frank spewed his spiked cider all over the food on the table.

"They're just fickle," Danny opined. "They've just added Jimmy and his brother Timmy to their gaggle of unattainable crushes alongside you and Father Niko."

"Danny was telling us about the class night on Tuesday," Frank said. "He said that most of the guys were thoroughly enamored of you, that he was told by at least three of them that he was, and I quote, 'one lucky dude', and he overheard two of them speculating about the hot tub."

CJ smiled. "Did he also tell you about the crest-fallen face of the one little bi- girl who realized that her flirting and suggestive outfit wasn't going to get her the A she wanted?"

"CJ, I was onto Amber's game five minutes after she walked into the classroom back in September. And if I hadn't been, her reputation precedes her amongst the faculty."

"Showtime in five minutes!" Drew Robinson, home from Berkeley for the holiday, came through the room. "The game will move to the TV on the deck and we will be showing 'Miracle on 34th Street' in the family room."

Danny and CJ headed for the family room, while Frank, Steve, and Jessica moved toward the deck.

"I'll check on Maggie and Paddy and then go see what kind of help Hannah needs," Diana went toward the bedroom wing of the house.

A little over two hours later, the family room furniture had been removed and replaced with nine card tables and chairs, all set for dinner. Everyone stood around as Joel stepped to a table in the center of the room, a plate of challah and a knife in his hand.

"Thank you all for coming; thank you for your continued willingness to share this day with us. In a few minutes, we will serves ourselves from the food in the dining room, but before we eat, let us reflect on why we are gathered today.

"Thanksgiving is a truly unique feast; it is reflective of our common belief in a benevolent Creator without being reflective of what all too often divides us in the way we approach that Creator.

"Blessed art Thou, Lord, our God, King of the universe, who brings forth bread from the earth". He cut the bread into pieces.

"Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe. We thank you for all with which You have blessed our lives this year. We thank you for Maggie and Paddy, for two new lives that bring joy to their parents and to all of us. We thank you for Frank's promotion, for the recognition of his efforts in the defense of our country. We thank you for the new life that Sally carries, that will be with us in April, and ask that you keep her and the baby in Your care. We thank you for bringing CJ through frightening times, for keeping her healthy.

"Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe. We thank you for each other, for the ties of friendship that are a reflection of our need for each other, for the entity of us that is so much greater than the sum of our individuality. We ask You to bless those who are traveling this holiday and are not with us, Clara in Fresno, Yan, Li, and Mei-Ling in Portland, and Wally, Aviva, and kids in Detroit.

"Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe. We thank you for the freedom to worship You as we choose and for the other freedoms we enjoy and we ask You for the courage to defend those freedoms from all threat, both from without and from within.

"Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe. We thank you for the opportunity to work, to provide for ourselves and each other. Our harvest in these times is not one of grain and grape, or of poultry and produce. The harvest most of us bring home in these times is one of words and deeds, of balance sheets and educational gain. But still we bring home the harvest through Your goodness. We thank you for the bounty spread before us, for the farmers who grew, the field workers who picked, the plant workers who prepared, the truckers who shipped, the grocers who stocked and sold, the cooks who created, and those who will later clean.

"Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe. We ask you to continue to hold in Your providence all of Your creation. We ask You to bless the whole world, no exceptions. And most of all, we ask You to give all Your people the wisdom and courage to live in peace."

"And now," Joel concluded, "our children will lead us in song."

"_Come, ye thankful people, come, raise the song of harvest home;_

_All is safely gathered in, ere the winter storms begin._

_God our Maker doth provide for our wants to be supplied;_

_Come to God's own temple, come, raise the song of harvest home." _


	40. The Last Month of the Year

**The Last Month of the Year**

CJ/Danny, Josh/Donna, Sam/OFC, Ginger/OMC, Bonnie/OMC, Carol/OMC, Nancy, Ellie/Vic

PG—references to sexual activity between married/engaged couples

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

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_December 8, 2009 Santa Monica, CA_

Danny came into the bedroom that served as CJ's home office (when they finally had no need of a nursery, that room would become her permanent one). She and Nancy were working, assembly line fashion, on "Road to a Better World"'s "SolsticeChrisKwanzUkah"cards, taking the self-stick labels from the sheets and applying them to the already stuffed envelopes.

"Shouldn't the president and the soon-to-be assistant vice-president be handing off that task to underlings? You gonna get those out in time for Chanukah?" he asked. "It starts this weekend."

"From your lips to God's ear!" Nancy exclaimed. "As to why we are doing it, the work-study kids are so bogged down with finals, we took pity on them this week. We're also cheating and giving them the hours on their time sheets even though they aren't working. Don't tell the financial aid folks."

"Speaking of finals, how're you doing with your take-home exams?" CJ asked her husband about the papers he was writing for the classes he was taking at USC and the Annenberg School.

"I think I'm done. In fact, I'm going to set them aside for the rest of the day, proof them tomorrow after class and then email them to the professors tomorrow afternoon. After that, I just have to grade the two exams I'm giving on Monday and Tuesday and then I'm free for the next three weeks, except for the columns and Fitz' book. Not that I mind, but why are you guys working here?"

"They're fumigating the offices," Nancy explained. "Oh, by the way, Bonnie called, said she had the wine for Saturday."

CJ and Danny, Bonnie and Jean-Luc, Josh and Donna, Ginger and Rick, and Carol and her fiancé David were all going to Sacramento for Sam's first Christmas dinner and ball and would be staying at the Embassy Suites. CJ and Bonnie were planning to have snacks Saturday afternoon for the Washingtonians.

"Are you sure you won't change your mind and come? We could put you and Jesse in the front of our suite," CJ volunteered.

"Jesse and I aren't at that point yet," the blonde blushed. Danny had finally introduced her to Frank Muñoz' nephew and they had been dating for about two months now. "And even if we were, my father would have a hissy if we stayed together publicly."

"Well, I'm sure that Bonnie and Jean-Luc would let him use their living room," Danny opined.

"I'm not ready for him to 'meet the family', as it were," Nancy laughed. "Let's make sure he's hooked on me before we expose him to my pseudo-relatives. He was okay with meeting my folks and my brothers, I mean, we're the same subculture, and he told me how he put his sisters' guys through the same ordeal. But I don't think he's ready for Sam or Josh, let alone the two of them together!"

"Well, I'm going to take Paddy and go for a walk on the beach," Danny said. "Shall I pick up some sandwiches on the way back?"

"Turkey club, light on the mayo," CJ said.

"Crabmeat salad in a pita or wrap, if they have it, same as CJ if they don't," Nancy added.

_December 12, 2009 Sacramento CA_

"CJ!"

Carol entered the Concannon's room in the Embassy Suites and hugged her former boss. "I was so worried! I prayed so hard!" she whispered into CJ's ear. Then, bending back to look up into her face, "everything is okay? You aren't just putting on a front?"

"I'm fine, Carol," CJ reassured the brunette. "I need to be checked a bit more frequently, and I take even less for granted, but no problems, no issues." She looked up at the man standing behind her former assistant. "Hi. I guess you're David, unless Carol has something she needs to tell me."

Carol introduced her fiancé. "I guess we're the first ones to come down?" Carol and David, along with Josh and Donna, had flown in with Ginger and Rick on their family jet.

"Bonnie and Jean-Luc should be here any minute. Their room is two doors down from us. Danny and I drove up yesterday afternoon but they didn't get in until midnight and barely made breakfast, so they decided to nap a bit."

"The six of us arrived about 20 minutes ago. I think Ginger and Rick are between you and Bonnie. We're across the hall and Josh and Donna are next to us. Where's Danny?"

The flushing sound indicated the whereabouts of CJ's husband, but before he could come into the living room of the suite, they heard Josh's voice at the entrance.

"Let the games begin!" The two chiefs of staff entered the room, with Bonnie and Jean-Luc not far behind.

Carol introduced her fiancé to Danny, who reminded the man that as Carol's surrogate big brother, "they needed to have a little talk."

"I'm afraid President Santos beat you to it, Danny," David laughed.

"Nope, not gonna let him usurp my duties," Danny replied as the microwave dinged and CJ announced that the "hot food" was ready. "But food and drink first." He indicated the spread that he and CJ brought with them from Santa Monica plus the wine that Bonnie and Jean-Luc contributed.

They began to catch up with each other for the next five minutes, when Rick and Ginger showed up.

"Hey, Ginger, you missed a button," Josh helpfully announced as she blushed to match her hair. "You two need to get a room."

"We did," Rick said. "We're married and the room is paid for. We're used to a bit more privacy on the jet than we had this morning."

"Rick, stop it!" Her face turned even redder.

CJ pulled Donna aside. "So how did the thing between Margaret and Paul go? Did she do the tour? Has there been anything between the two of them?"

"CJ, I think you struck out on that pairing. When I asked her about it, she said that he and the twins were very polite, very interested in the tour and very appreciative of it, but she didn't seem to show any interest in him. Then later when I called to apologize for not being there to give the tour myself, and asked leading questions to see if he had any interest in her, I got absolutely zip as far as vibes go. Of course, it didn't help that Hoynes was there with Margaret that day. Anyway, when Josh and I apologized to Margaret for leaving her in charge this weekend instead of her being able to come out for Sam's big thing, she said she thought that she got the better deal out of it and even my Josh could see the glow in her eyes when she said it."

"Better deal?"

"Josh and I will be 'on duty' over Christmas and Margaret will be going to Texas to spend time with John. She's taking her son and she's staying in a hotel, not at the ranch, but I'd say that sooner or later, he'll manage to get her into his bed."

"And Bruno is okay with the boy going to Texas over Christmas?"

"Bruno's parents are taking him to Florida for the entire month of February, he'll see him then. CJ, I think something may be wrong with Bruno; he looks terrible, haggard, tired all the time. He was supposed to have the child for Thanksgiving, but at the last minute, he asked Margaret if she could keep him."

"Oh, God!" CJ had always liked Bruno, even when she thought the man was stepping on Leo's toes. "Should I call?"

"I wouldn't; I think whatever it is, he wants to keep it to himself."

"Okay for now. So, exactly how much of an item are Margaret and Hoynes?"

"Right now, they both come to official government functions by themselves, no escorts, and they are circumspect with regard to numbers of dances and such. However, I'm betting that soon, they'll insist that they be allowed to arrive together and leave together. For what it's worth, Carol has accepted him and she seems to be as willing to help him as she was Danny."

"Well, if he has Carol on his side, then the game is as good as won."

"Yeah."

"So," CJ said, half to herself, "how to I go about getting Paul and Nancy McNally together? The foundation will be doing something for one of the other projects in DC, but that's not until June. Still, that might be the neatest way, invite him as our guest and also invite her as our guest, without any indication of escorting. Wait! Donna, can you get Josh or Margaret to put him on the list for the next Prayer Breakfast? There's one in late February, isn't there?"

"CJ, are you sure?"

"Donna, it's not like I'm having you invite them to dinner and pair them off!"

"Okay. By the way, did you know that he's taken over the church that David and Carol attend? The old minister had a stroke and will be in rehab for at least a year. According to her, everyone thinks Paul is fantastic. He's revitalized the congregation. He'll be officiating at the wedding in May."

They joined the rest of the group.

"I can't wait to see Sam's place tonight," Carol was saying.

"Well, Sam and Morgan don't live there," Danny slipped into Bartlet mode. "No one has lived in the Mansion since Reagan. It's actually part of the State Parks Department. Although it's used for functions like this, it's open to the public for tours and stuff."

"So where is the official residence?"

"There is none, not really," Danny answered. "They built a new one back in the late 1960's but Jerry Brown - "

"Governor Moonbeam," CJ interjected.

" – refused to live there," Danny finished, trying to give his wife a stern look but failing miserably. "Then the state sold it and since then, the governors have lived in rented housing or hotel suites."

"Sam and Morgan are renting a place on the outskirts of the city," Bonnie chimed in. "But for tonight, they have the Presidential Suite upstairs. We'll be going there after the ball, assuming we can still stand. There are a lot of folks staying here tonight, there'll be buses to take us over the Mansion and back, it's a little over a mile away."

They socialized, gossiped, and ate for a while and then agreed to meet in the lobby at 7:30 for the ride over to the dinner and ball. The more hardy among them might be in the lobby for the Happy Hour that was the trademark of the hotel chain.

At 7:30, the group, minus Donna and CJ, was waiting in the lobby with other guests for the Governor's Ball.

"Donna's on the phone with Margaret," Josh volunteered. "She's called just about every hour on the hour about Noah. "Is CJ calling about Paddy?"

"He's with Frank, Diana, and Maggie, she knows he's as okay with them as he is with us. We checked about two hours ago, first time since this morning," Danny answered. "No, Glen Walken was calling from Australia. He's pursuing some deep pockets down under and with the ball here and the time difference, this was the best time to talk. Ah, here they come." His eyes lit up at the sight of his wife in the gray silk gown he had long wished to see on her again, accented by the light blue-violet jewelry from almost two years ago. Her hair was pinned up with the combs, and he looked forward to taking it down later tonight.

Josh recognized the dress. "See, Donna, CJ's wearing something that's 10 years old, she didn't have to buy a new dress for this shindig."

"Well, CJ did better at taking off the pounds than I did, not that I want everyone knowing that, Joshua," the blonde grimaced at her husband.

"I think you look good, Donna, so what if now you're a 4 instead of a 2," Ginger reassured her.

"Actually, it's just the gowns that don't fit. My other clothes are fine."

"But still," Josh couldn't let the issue drop. "If we're going to buy this place on the river, we need to economize somewhere, and if CJ can wear a 10 year-old dress - "

"I'm wearing this because it's Danny's favorite, Josh," CJ told him. "Can you even **remember** anything Donna had from five years ago, let alone ten?"

"Well, there was the blue dress from the second inauguration."

"**That** was returned two days later, tags still attached," Donna said. "I just started being able to afford stuff a few years ago."

"Well, I think you all look _magnifique_," Jean-Luc decided that enough was enough. "Shall we take the bus to the ball? I, for one, am starved."

When they arrived at the old mansion, they found that they were all seated at the same table, with one other couple.

"We have to be careful not to bore them to tears," CJ said.

They reached the table to find Ellie and Vic Faison.

"We didn't know you would be here!" Donna greeted the couple.

"It was last minute; we're filling in for the president of the university (she meant Stanford)."

"Are you at Embassy Suites? We're all on the third floor."

"We're on the fifth."

Sam and Morgan stopped by briefly during the main course. They had been making the rounds of the room for the better part of the last hour. "Happy Chanukah, Josh!" Sam bear-hugged his friend.

"Will you get to eat anything?" Bonnie asked.

"We ate something before," Sam laughed. "If we don't see you on the dance floor, we'll see you at the hotel. It'll just be us, no outsiders."

They enjoyed the rest of dinner and the dancing after the meal, switching partners among themselves.

Shortly after midnight, they were back at the hotel, gathered in the presidential suite, shoes kicked off, pantyhose removed, ties undone, tux jackets tossed aside with cuff links safely tucked away in pockets.

"Let's drink a toast to Governor Spanky!" CJ walked around the group with a bottle of champagne, filling everyone's glasses.

"None for me, thanks."

"Hey, everyone! Morgan refused champagne! Something you need to tell us, Samuel?"

"It's only two months, we were planning on keeping it to ourselves for another month or so, but, yes, next summer, please God - " Sam kissed the brunette at his side and smiled at his friends.

There were kisses, hugs, and high fives of congratulations all around.

"So, Josh, you guys are really going to buy some country house in Virginia?" Sam changed the subject. He knew that Morgan was apprehensive about discussing the pregnancy after having lost a baby in July. The doctors said there was nothing to indicate that it was anything more than a bad twist of fate and there was no reason she couldn't carry this one to term, but Sam knew she was more than a little scared, and, to tell the truth, so was he.

"Yep. In two months, give or take, the Lymans will be landed gentry." He passed around a set of pictures. "I'll have my wife growing vegetables and keeping chickens for eggs, skimming the river for shellfish, spinning wool from the sheep to make my shirts, - ".

"You have another wife I don't know about, Joshua?" Donna asked. "Tell her she isn't carrying her load as far as housework goes; or in the bedroom, for that matter."

"Donna!" Carol exclaimed.

"Think about it. If we were brought up to expect it, if it was in our DNA, how much easier it would be if we only had to deal with 50 percent of what **they**" she pointed to the men in the room "require to survive. Think of how much more we could get done in the workplace, or, for that matter, how much more time we'd have for reading, watching TV, or sleeping."

"Well, maybe a youngster like Josh can handle it," Danny said. He squeezed the waist of the woman sitting on his lap. "I've got enough on my plate right now."

"Damn straight," CJ said. "I'm quite a plateful and proud of the fact." She kissed her husband's forehead.

"Hey, gang, we've got some neophytes-to-be in our midst. Let's not give Carol and David any reason to think they should call off the wedding." Rick played with the feet that Ginger had draped over his lap.

"They can't call off the wedding," CJ said. "Hank already made my dress."

"And I shelled out for the jewelry," Danny added. Then, realizing he had divulged something he had planned to keep secret until February, whispered "Oops!"

"_Moi aussi_, but my wife is worth it," Jean-Luc added. "David, Carol, do not listen to these cynics. Married life is fantastic, _n'est ce pas, ma belle_?" He kissed Bonnie's hand. She in turn played with the man's hair and said "_bien entendu_".

"I can see why Nancy didn't want to expose her guy to all of us," Ginger laughed.

"Well,** I** for one think we're all a good example of married life," Ellie said.

"At least it's us here and not Liz," Vic laughed.

"How's she doing?" Donna asked.

"I think she's relieved, in the end. The final straw was when Gus told Doug to stop making his mother cry. She realized that staying with him just for the kids was an empty goal. Now, we just heard yesterday that Doug was seeking an annulment. Dad thinks it's for the best; and if she finds someone else, he can perform the ceremony."

"Well, if she'd like a job, Mrs. Santos and I would love to have her on her staff. We could use someone with a pulse on local Democratic politics. We'll be rolling out 'Village People' at the end of January at CJ and Danny's, but we'd love to have involvement in the east as well."

"By the way, Donna, will the Dieliczko's need any special handling, special clearance? They won't be naturalized until Flag Day."

"We're on top of that; there will be no problems."

Morgan kissed her husband, told the rest of them to stay as long as they wanted, and slipped into the bedroom of the suite.

The conversation moved on to other subjects.

Zoey and Charlie would be married on Independence Day weekend. Rick and Ginger would like to have everyone at the Cape May house the next weekend, and if anyone wanted to come earlier (pointed looks at the Californians) and/or stay later, they would be more than welcome.

Ginger mentioned that Andy spent a couple of weekends with the twins in New York with Toby and Ginger had her fingers crossed, but Donna didn't think that anything formal would come of it.

Kate Harper had flown out to Washington to visit with Will, but she was also seeing one of the Spanish military attachés.

Josh noticed that CJ kept putting back the strands of hair that fell off her head and asked her why she bothered to fix her hair, why didn't she just take out all the combs and let it hang down. CJ and Danny just smiled at each other and Donna whispered something in Josh's ear. When Josh asked Donna why she didn't wear her hair on top of her head, Donna said she didn't have any jeweled combs.

One of Matt Skinner's partner's kids got his girlfriend pregnant and Mary Marsh put her foot in her mouth big time when she criticized the men for supporting the young couple in their decision to have the baby and put it in foster care until they decided between adoption and raising it themselves.

Carol fell asleep on David's shoulder about 2:00 and everyone decided to call it a night. Because of the ball, the hotel would be extending the breakfast hours until noon and they decided to meet at 10:30 for the meal.

Later that morning, they sat at three tables in the breakfast area, passing plates back and forth.

"It's been short but sweet, guys," Sam said. "Thanks so much for coming. Morgan sends her apologies. The morning sickness was particularly bad today. I guess we'll see all of you for the wedding. Much happiness again." He kissed Carol on the cheek.

"Tell her that no apologies are necessary," Ellie said, with Donna and CJ nodding in agreement. "Now go back to your wife." And after hugs and handshakes, the governor of California did as he was told.

"Well, Bonnie and I will be back for the shower at the end of March," CJ said.

"I'm sitting on dissertation defense that weekend," Ellie told Carol, "but we will be there to see you turned into an honest woman come May."

Danny held out his hand to CJ. "We've got the longest drive, probably the longest trip. We'd best get started."

With that, everyone else decided to be on their way.

_December 16, 2009 Santa Monica CA_

"Danny?" CJ walked in from the garage, calling out for her husband.

"In the den," came the reply.

She walked into the room where he was grading exams, picked up the stack of Christmas cards that had apparently come in today's mail, and kissed the top of his head.

"This one from Mark is nice," she said.

"Yeah."

"Danny! You didn't tell me he's getting married!"

"Two A minuses."

"What?"

"My grades. They were posted today. Two A minuses."

"Danny, that's great!"

"I was hoping for full A's."

"But for being out of the study track for so long, I think it's great."

"Yeah, but - ".

"What were you always telling me? We'll both get good at new things? You'll get good at this; it might take a bit of time. Look how long it took me to learn to cook."

"CJ, you could always cook."

"I could follow a recipe, but it wasn't until that first September that I got the hang of the timing, so that the meat and the veggies were done at the same time, that I didn't serve a white meat like chicken with cauliflower and potatoes, no color on the plate. And remember the first time I made enchiladas?"

He laughed. She had mixed the sauce, grated the cheese, and had softened the tortillas according to the directions; then she realized that she should have cooked the ground beef at the beginning.

"Well, next semester, one of the classes I'm taking at Annenberg, is essentially what I'm teaching at West LA Community, Newspaper Publishing Operations, so I'd better fully ace that one."

She bent down to kiss his mouth and he pulled her into his lap.

"I guess I won't get a nap in before the Muñoz posada starts."

"Are you complaining? I can stop."

"No, sir, and don't you **dare**."

Her hand was under his sweatshirt and his was reaching up under her skirt when the heard the cry come over the baby monitor.

"All I want for Christmas is some better timing," she sang as she broke away and left the room. "Mama's coming!" she cried out.

_December 20, 2009_

The parish Christmas party was going full throttle. The little kids' presents had been distributed and now they were getting ready to take the gifts under the Giving Tree to the homeless shelters for which the items had been collected.

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" the voice sounded behind CJ.

"Santa!"

"Have you been a good girl?"

"I've been bad, very bad."

"Even better."

"Look! Miss CJ is kissing Santa Claus! I'm telling Mr. Danny when he gets here!"

_December 24, 2009_

"Danny, it's 10:55, the pre-Mass carols will start in 20 minutes!"

He came into the family room. "I'm ready; do I look okay?"

He was reading tonight. She fiddled a bit with his tie, then picked up Paddy in the cradle carrier and his attendant bag of accessories.

They settled themselves into the pew and Danny went to the sacristy to check in, find out if there were any last minute instructions. The Muñoz children were seated two rows in front of her; she waved at Diana in the choir. They had already seen Frank doing greeter/usher duty when they came in.

The church was glowing with candlelight. The dark blue-purple (and one rose) candles of the advent wreath had been replaced with white ones

Danny returned but didn't sit down. "Deacon Bob is sick; I'll be in the procession."

The choir began singing the songs that had not been heard in the building since last January. "What Child is This?" (the original version); "Un Flambeau, Jeanette, Isabella"; "Hark, the Herald Angels Sing"; "Silent Night" in English, Spanish, and German; "The First Noel".

Another family came to the pew; she stood to let them into it. "My husband is reading," she explained why she didn't slide to the center. She didn't recognize them; "C and E's", she thought to herself, then remembered the many years when she, at best, went to church only on Christmas and Easter, and decided she was too judgmental.

The husband and wife were whispering to themselves. "Excuse me," the woman said. "Aren't you CJ Cregg?"

"Yes, I am." She used Danny's name but didn't make a federal case out of it when someone called her by the name she held until she had married him.

"And you're married now, with a baby?" Her rings were flashing as they caught the candlelight.

"Yes, he's almost seven months."

"Well, I'm glad for you. What does your husband do?"

"He writes and he teaches."

The song leader called for attention and led everyone in "Adeste Fideles" as Mass began.

Danny joined her in the pew after the entrance procession until it was time for him to read. Turning on the little book light, he began "A reading from the book of Isaiah".

"The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light - ".

He joined her when he finished. They sat through the psalm (96) and the reading from Titus. Then as all the lights were turned on, the choir led them in the Celtic Alleluia and the nativity narration from Luke was proclaimed.

After Mass, the congregation sang "Joy to the World" for the recessional. One of the little girls in the family next to them in the pew looked up. "Daddy, that was fun! Can we come back again?"

"It's not always like this, sweetie."

"But it is nice," Danny interjected. He held out his hand to the man. "I'm Danny Concannon; I'm on the parish council. We'd loved to have you come back. Father Luke and Father Niko are great guys. This is my wife, CJ. I'd tell you what that stands for, but then I'd have to kill you," he cracked the stale joke. "Anyway, this is a vibrant parish, with lots of activities for the whole family. Think about it."

When they got home, she put Paddy to bed. When she came into the family room, he had turned on the tree and had two glasses of warm spiced cider laced with brandy at the ready and handed her one.

"It's so calm, so peaceful," he said.

"Next year, definitely the year after next, it won't be," she said. "We'll be running around, digging out packages from their hiding places; you'll be trying to put together a tricycle or a wagon - "

"Maybe someday a doll house," he whispered.

"Maybe," she replied.

He took the glass from her, set them on the coffee table, and then pulled her to the floor.

"I hope we'll always find time for this," he said, bringing his mouth to hers.

_December 25, 2009_

"Hey, Paddy, look at these! They're for playing with the sand on the beach!"

"And we can have fun with these in the tub or the swimming pool!"

"More clothes! Why do I get so many clothes?" Danny faked a little boy's voice.

"Because you outgrow them, kid. Look, Aunt Erin sent stuff you'll probably fit into in April."

"Here's a mobile with lots and lots of fishies from your godmother Hogan."

"He's having more fun with the paper than with the toys," CJ laughed.

"I remember the first year we had Pistol, Erin wrapped up his presents and he just sniffed at everything."

"She wrapped the dog's presents? Did she think he was going to snoop?"

"What can I say? Hey, kid, here's a blue mustang just like Mama's, the one I rather you **not **be driven in just yet."

"And look at all these blocks; your Daddy can build the dungeon he wants to keep us in."

"Well, they're from Grandpa Jed, and he knows a thing or two about that."

"Is Paddy tired? That's okay, you just go to sleep. Somewhere in all this loot are a few things Santa left for Mama and Daddy; we'll open them now."

"Were you a good girl or a bad girl?"

"I'm so bad, I'm good."

"Well, this one is for the good girl," he handed her a box from Tiffany's, "and this is for the bad girl". The second box was from Victoria's Secret.

"And this is for a wonderful man, but it's also for me. Open it," she said when he raised a questioning eyebrow.

He opened the box to find a 22 carat gold mizpah pendant set. He took the piece with the narrower, more delicate chain and put it about her neck. She took the piece with the heavier chain and put it on his neck.

Then she opened her box from Tiffany's to find gray pearl earrings, necklace, and bracelet set in platinum.

She gave him a set of cufflinks photo-engraved with Paddy's picture.

They drank coffee, ate cranberry orange walnut bread, opened their other presents, called family and friends. Later that day, they ate Christmas dinner with Hank and Steve.

That night, after putting the garment in the Victoria's Secret box to good use, they lay in each other's arms.

"Paddy's first Christmas," CJ sighed.

"Our first Christmas as parents," Danny yawned. "God rest us, merry gentlepersons."

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"Last Month of the Year" -- Vera Hall, Alan Lomax

Sung by The Kingston Trio

Tell me when was Jesus born  
Last month of the year  
Tell me when was Jesus born  
Last month of the year  
Tell me when was Jesus born  
Last month of the year  
Yeah, wasn't January, February, March, April or May  
June, July, August, September, October, November  
Was the 25th day of December  
Was the last month of the year  
He was born to the Virgin Mary  
Last month of the year  
He was born to the Virgin Mary  
Last month of the year  
He was born to the Virgin Mary  
Last month of the year  
Yeah, wasn't January, February, March, April or May  
June, July, August, September, October, November  
Was the 25th day of December  
Was the last month of the year  
He was born in an ox manger  
Last month of the year  
He was born in an ox manger  
Last month of the year  
Yeah, wasn't January, February, March, April or May  
June, July, August, September, October, November  
Was the 25th day of December  
It was the last month of the year


	41. Valentine, Bishop and Martyr

**Valentine, Bishop and Martyr**

Adult/NC17

CJ/Danny, Josh/Donna, Ginger/OMC, Bonnie/OMC, Margaret/Hoynes, mentions of others

Spoilers – through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

"Holding Hands on the Way Down" is now ready for this chapter

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_February 14, 2010 2:00 PM EST_

_Cape May, NJ_

Ginger pulled the one quilt about her and sat up, making sure that the other one covered her still-sleeping husband. Since tomorrow was Presidents' Day, the kids were off from school and her in-laws had offered to take the kids for the three-day Valentine's weekend; she and Rick had come to the shore, not to the big main house, but to this little guest cottage on the grounds.

She looked out at the snow falling to the ground and hitting the steel gray ocean that pounded the shore in the distance. Although it was only 2:00 in the afternoon, the sky was dark with the storm that had come down from Ontario. It was nice to be able to spend time alone with Rick, no kids ("bless you, Mom and Arnie"), no staff, just her man and herself, plenty of firewood, plenty of wine, plenty of food, and plenty of sex.

They hadn't been able to do anything for their anniversary back in December, what with all the holiday events; the extra-busy congressional session didn't help matters either. Was it really a little over two years ago that they had married in a beautiful but small candlelight service on that Saturday evening between Christmas and New Years? She remembered that the weather was bad and all the major airports were closed. Toby, Josh, Donna, Margaret, Carol and her State Department guy (now fiancé) and some others were able to make it by Amtrak, but CJ and Danny were stuck in California, the Bartlet clan in New Hampshire, and Bonnie in Indiana.

About six weeks after CJ and Danny's wedding, Matt Skinner had suggested that she and Bonnie attend the softball game and picnic planned by "The Center Cut", a group of moderate Democratic and Republican congressional representatives who had decided they were tired of the extreme wings of both parties stifling reasonable cooperation. The two of them had been working with Amy Gardner and John Hoynes, assisting them in their roles as congressional/senatorial liaisons. At first, they were hesitant; Bonnie would be leaving for California at the end of August to work with CJ and Nancy and they wanted to spend time together before she left. Then they decided that it would be a good venue to do so, and with free beer and hotdogs, how could they go wrong?

Of course, she knew who Rick was; everyone in New Jersey knew of the family, they had been a fixture there since before the Revolution. But for some reason, she had never met him. Of course, he had only been in the House for four years, taking over, in family tradition, after his father had died. Rick was now the fifth of his line to hold that office. For some reason, the family members never aspired to the Senate or to other political arenas. Apparently, the earlier generations were the same back in Britain. They had held a seat in the House of Commons practically since Runnymede, never exercising any rights to sit in the House of Lords.

In any event, when Matt introduced them, she knew about his family, about the death of his wife three years earlier, about his two sons Sev ("He didn't like 'Dick', 'Rich', or 'Ricky', and 'RJ' doesn't work because 'Junior' was my great-great-grandfather. Since he's the seventh - ") and Bryce and his daughter Chantelle.

Rick asked her to dinner the next week. Three weeks later, he asked her to a White House event, and then to meet his family.

And the rest, as the storybooks go, was a whirlwind courtship. She took an instant liking to Rick's mother, a combination of Abbey Bartlet and the Lacey Davenport character from "Doonesbury", who still had the same classic clothes she wore 50 years ago ("If you amortized it, this skirt cost me $4.00 a year"). And the woman immediately saw in Ginger the woman her son and her grandchildren needed in their lives. The kids were great, instantly accepting of her. Last August, when she heard Sev talking to President Bartlet about "my mom and my new sister", her heart swelled. Chantelle and Bryce had no real memory of Penny, but Sev did; he still addressed her as "Ginger" and she had no problem with that, but to hear him refer to her as "mom" was special.

Right before Donna's wedding two Septembers ago, when they announced her pregnancy, Matt confessed that he felt that the two of them would be good together and had planned the entire "chance meeting" without either of them suspecting a thing.

She had loved every minute of her job at the White House, but she left it behind without a backward glance and now she loved every minute of her role as wife and mother. Also, her mother-in-law was shepherding her into a more active role in the family's philanthropic endeavors, grooming her to take over when the time came (Please God, not for a long time. Her mother-in-law and Arnie were so happy, and she wanted her daughter to know her grandmother). When CJ came back east next month for Carol's shower, the two of them would meet to discuss a family role in one of "Road to a Better World's" side projects and she would have the final "yea or nay". It wasn't that big a monetary outlay, relative to the rest of the family charities, but it was more money than Ginger ever expected to control in her lifetime. She was a bit nervous about it, not only because of the money, but because it was CJ. She had barely adjusted to CJ being Chief of Staff when the change in Administrations occurred. Now she was barely used to the idea of CJ as a friend, an equal, and she was going to be having CJ approach her as a suppliant. CJ was going to try to convince her, Ginger, to commit a huge sum of money. She, redheaded Ginger from Bayonne, had certainly had her life altered in the past one thousand days.

She heard a stirring behind her. Her husband had awakened. She looked back and as he stretched, her heart filled with love for this kind, gentle, intelligent man and with gratitude to God for sending him into her life via Matt and via her past in the White House.

He ran a hand through his soft brown hair, just starting to grey at the temples, and smiled; then he reached out that hand to her and said, "Come here, funny valentine." She leaned back on the Aerobed in front of the fireplace, then bent over him and lowered her mouth onto his and she gathered the quilts about them. As they rolled over, the fire crackled, the snow fell, and the gray ocean continued its relentless lapping of the beach.

_Widewater Beach, VA 4:30 PM EST_

Josh Lyman sat in the rocker, cradling his son in his left arm, holding the bottle in his right. He glanced over to the bed where his wife, his Donnatella, was sprawled on her stomach, her golden hair fanned out in a half-circle over her back. He wondered if she was warm enough; maybe he should get up, pull up the covers from just below her waist, and put them over her shoulders. But then, he wouldn't be able to see that glorious molten gold hair splashed against the remains of the slightly darker golden tan she had picked up when they spent four days with his mother in Florida at the end of the year.

Outside the north-west facing window, he could see the line of clouds advancing; the front coming down from Canada would be here in an hour or so.

They had closed on the property two weeks ago. His mother insisted on giving them the maximum she could under the Gift Tax laws toward the down payment. "Why should you wait until I die?" she asked. "My family is very long lived and your father's pension will pay out until I die, as will Social Security." She told them she intended to make a similar gift next year, to help defray the principal.

The house was old, about 120 years, but the wiring, the kitchen, and the plumbing had been modernized, including the addition of a private bathroom for the largest bedroom. For some reason, the previous owner didn't put in central heating or central air, but the fireplaces and stoves were very efficient. Also, the cross-ventilation and the ceiling fans would help in the summer. Anyway, they would see how they survived and, if necessary, install a modern HVAC system.

Thanksgiving weekend, they talked long and hard about buying this place. In the end, they decided that Virginia might be a good place to make their long-term permanent home. They were only about an hour from the District. Naturally, they couldn't live here while working at their current jobs, but when the day came that they were no longer Chiefs of Staff or in similar roles, this would be perfect. This close to the ocean, the Potomac was tidal, so it was, in essence, a beach house. Summers would be fantastic (once they could actually enjoy them), autumns would be splendid, and springs would teem with life.

He looked again at his wife, watching her shoulders rise and fall with her breathing; she really must be worn out. Part of him felt pride in that, in thinking that he had exhausted her with his skills in bed earlier today. And to be perfectly honest, he did use his skills and his love for her to take the both of them up, down, and around the rollercoaster of sexual fulfillment. But he also realized how hard she was working, not only on Helen Santos' "Village People" initiative, but also with the course work she started last month. Not to mention the time needed to take care of Noah and himself.

His ego was a bit bruised three months ago when she decided against his suggestion about taking extra courses and getting a Political Science or Public Policy degree from Georgetown, opting to take the "warm and fuzzy" path at American University. However, first Danny and then later President Bartlet convinced him that she had made the right choice. The bureaucracy of federal and other employment offices, especially since a lot of them were now computerized to review qualifications, wanted to see those words "Bachelor of something" in a résumé, both for money and for title. Also, the Master's would open many more doors, bring in much more money; she needed to get that as soon as possible also.

More than once, he had heard the phrase "Donna's going places" uttered, sometimes in situations where he wasn't supposed to hear it. Three years ago, he was barely able to get his head around the idea that she would be working independently of him, not reporting to him, neither directly nor through some hierarchy tree. Now, he was beginning to sense that she might someday surpass him. The idea filled him with pride and fear at the same time. Would he be able to handle it, to give her the support she might need without feeling like an equerry, a squire? Something else to discuss with Danny sometime.

He glanced down; the bottle was empty and his son stared up at him with his mother's eyes. "We'll just have to be there for her, won't we, Noah?" he whispered, bringing the baby over his shoulder to burp him. While in that position, he reached a finger inside the diaper. Still dry. This kid had the most amazing kidney control. At first, they and the doctors were concerned, but a battery of tests revealed that everything was A-OK with Noah Leo Lyman's urinary system.

Noah made all the difference. With Noah in his life, not to mention Noah's mom, he saw things so clearly now. Jewish though he was, he understood what Paul was saying about seeing through dark glass and now seeing face to face. Yes, his role as Matt Santos' Chief of Staff was important, and, perhaps, his future role as such for Sam Seaborn would also be important. But Donna and Noah were so much more important. That was it, plain and simple.

He got up, set the baby in the crib and then turned around.

She was awake, lying on her right side, propped up on her right arm. The covers had fallen off her when she had turned into that pose. She looked like an impressionist painting made of a Playboy centerfold, erotica replacing pornography.

"Josh-u-a," she whispered each syllable of his name distinctly.

He approached the bed, drawn to her voice, to her eyes, to her body, to her love.

_Washington, DC 10:30 PM EST_

John Hoynes sat up carefully, not wanting to disturb the sleeping redhead beside him. The snow had glazed the window panes and muted the light coming in off the streets. It was as if he was looking at her through lace. When he woke this morning, this was definitely not among his expectations for the day. "I want to do this right this time," he prayed.

When he started seeing Margaret, first in competition with Arnie Vinick, then with the Episcopalian priest, he wondered at times why he was putting himself through all the stress. A number of other women had indicated that they would be more than willing to respond to him in the manner to which he had become accustomed since his college days.

It was in October 2007, after a late meeting with her concerning staffing his office, getting her advice on replacing Bonnie and Ginger, that he first offered to take her to dinner in thanks for her counsel. She needed to get home to her son, but accepted his second offer for lunch the next day. They were friendly for the next year or so and when he asked her to accompany him to Janeane's wedding in June of 2008, she said yes. Taking her home that evening, he asked if he could see her again. She told him yes, but also told him that she was seeing Arnie on occasion and that she was nowhere near ready for an exclusive relationship and nowhere ready for granting "privileges". If he wished to see her in this arena, under these conditions, she would enjoy his company.

Now that he had persevered, now that Arnie had found love with someone else and the priest had dropped out of contention, now that he had won her trust to this extent, he realized that she was worth waiting for and he did not want to lose her. This could very well be his last chance; it would also be his saving grace.

He knew he would need help if he wanted to have a true, mature relationship with her. Maybe the new minister at his church. The man was a widower about his age; everyone talked about how approachable he was.

He could not believe how nervous he had been; then again, he could. It had been almost two years since he had been with a woman, his longest "dry spell" since he was a sophomore in college.

The old John Hoynes would have made love to her in French, showing off his mastery of the "language of love" as well as his mastery of the mechanics of sex. This John Hoynes had stammered at the sight of her beauty.

He had been so nervous he fumbled with the condom, first dropping it and then snagging it on a nail. Initially, he had been embarrassed and then had realized it would be proof to her both of his desire for her and of his recent celibacy.

Earlier, he had taken Margaret to dinner for Valentine's Day; had brought her a bowl of forced hyacinths when he arrived. After dessert, he gave her a highly polished silver bracelet, a token of his esteem but not too presumptive.

He had made early reservations, for 6:00. Tomorrow was a federal holiday and she did not have to be at work as early as she usually did, but she did have things to do and he knew that she would appreciate the extra time to sleep, especially since she didn't have to deal with her son. The boy was spending the month in Florida with Bruno Gianelli's parents. They doted on their grandchild and had an excellent relationship with Margaret.

He was no fool, except when he thought with that body part least suited to the task. His long years of public service caused him to know exactly how much work an executive assistant did; how vital such a woman (and they usually were women) was to the person for whom she worked. There was no way he could have achieved what he had without the assistance of Janeane. When he had to resign the Vice-Presidency, and then when he realized he would not to able to finesse Bob Russell and Matt Santos for the nomination, he was as much disappointed that the woman who had supported him professionally for so many years would not be able to sit at that desk that guarded the Oval Office as he was that he would not be able to sit at the desk in that office.

He had worked with Leo for 5 years in the White House and previously when he was in the senate and Leo was Labor Secretary; he knew how much the man depended on Margaret. He was also sure that she had saved CJ Cregg's cute little butt on more than one occasion. (He decided that it was okay to recognize the existence of said butt as long as he remembered to whom that butt now belonged and that, if he were lucky, Margaret's would belong to him.)

Still, he had to just stand by and admire as Margaret had taken the opportunity handed her by Matt Santos and carved a new niche for herself. She had taken the day-to-day functioning of the west wing under her command, freeing Josh and Sam for policy management and international strategy. Then when Sam resigned to take the lieutenant governor's post in California and Matt Santos offered her the official title of Deputy Chief of Staff, she stepped right into it, quelling Josh Lyman's initial misgivings about her ability to handle the situation.

After dinner, when they had arrived at her townhouse, the steps were icing over with the snow and he kept an arm around her to help her across the sidewalk, then he had held out his hand for the key and opened the door for her. Dismissing her protests, he insisted on shoveling the steps and the walk and putting down some ice melt. Sure, the Weather Channel had predicted another 2 or 3 inches, but putting down the ice melt would make it easier for her in the morning. When he was done, the coffee she brewed was ready and they drank it, talking of inconsequential things.

When she stifled a yawn, he put down his cup.

"I should leave now."

Margaret took a deep breath. "Yes, but come back," she said.

"Ma'am?" she wasn't making sense.

"There's a late-night pharmacy three blocks west and one block north," she said, looking directly into his eyes. In heels, she was two inches shorter than he was. "I don't keep anything, so you'll need to buy - . Unless you already have; or don't want - ". She blushed and hung her head.

He couldn't believe this was happening. "I want," he said softly, crossing the few feet to stand in front of her. "And I wasn't anticipating".

She lifted her head,smiled, and joked. "Then hie thee to the chemist, sirrah!" Then, shyly, "Would you like me to just stay like this or change into something else?"

"Stay," he whispered huskily. "Three blocks west and?"

"One block north," she answered as they walked to the door.

"Lock up behind me," he ordered, as he always did when leaving her for the night. Then he kissed her hands and went on his errand.

As he reparked his car on her street, he slipped the box into his pants pocket. For the life of him, he couldn't remember what boxers he had put on when dressing for the evening. Hopefully, there weren't any rips or broken seams.

She opened the door, let him in, and then turned the deadbolt; she stood by while he took off his topcoat, and his suit coat and put them on the coatstand, removed his tie and put it in the suitcoat pocket.

She walked up to him, placed her arms on his shoulders, and kissed him. His arms went around her, hers around him.

They stood there, kissing, for several minutes. Then he shifted his right arm under her upper thighs, lifted her, and started up the stairs.

"Which way?" he asked, and she told him. And after almost twenty months of courting her, John Hoynes made love with Margaret Hooper.

_San Luis Obispo, CA 8:00 PM PST_

Bonnie lay in utter weariness and utter joy on the bed, her limbs unable to move, heavy and liquid like rich maple syrup against the ivory sheets. Jean-Luc lay half on her, half on the bed, kissing her shoulder and murmuring over and over, _"Ah, que je t'adore, mon coeur, ah, que je t'aime, ma belle."_ She remembered being told that no matter how skilled one becomes in a second or third language, one usually reverts to the first when praying or doing math. In Jean-Luc's case, add making love to the list.

How glad she was that she had said "Yes" when CJ offered her the chance to come to California to work with "Road to a Better World". She remembered how scared she was when she went off to Purdue her freshman year, and that was only a few hours from home. Her parents couldn't believe that she was willing to move to Washington, let alone the west coast.

She had been a little apprehensive about leaving Washington, but she knew that she couldn't go on working with Amy Gardner. Their personalities were polar opposites and she felt as if the woman did not respect anyone who didn't mirror Amy's constant "in your face" persona. She felt guilty at first, abandoning Ginger to Amy and to the blandishments of John Hoynes, but within a few weeks, Ginger and her Rick were head over heels in love and headed toward the altar. Amy and Hoynes were looking for two new assistants to help with their liaison needs.

She had also been apprehensive about being by herself in a new town, rather than working directly with CJ in Santa Monica. However, Nancy felt she needed to be with her parents in Malibu. The Hollises were very helpful, first with advising her on neighborhoods when she was looking for an apartment and then with introducing her to the Cal Poly community.

As it turned out, people were very friendly and welcoming. CJ and Nancy were just phone calls and emails away and the work was fascinating but not anything she couldn't handle; once she acclimated, it was nice to be able to work somewhat independently of a manager. Toby, once you got used to him, was okay, but he could be brusque. Amy was also brusque, plus she tended to micro-manage. Hoynes was polite, but he had worked with Janeane for so long that he unconsciously gave her all the good stuff and relegated "busy work" to Bonnie and Ginger. But CJ depended on her to keep the folks in San Luis Obispo happy and that's what Bonnie did. Indeed, she took pleasure in the extra responsibility of dealing with the sometimes straight-laced bureaucrats of the Hollis Foundation staff.

She met Jean-Luc at a campus theatre presentation of _"Tartuffe"_ in early October. One of the work-study students in her office was doing a dual major in French and Theatre Arts and introduced her to him after the play. He was charming and when he started asking her to dinner and movies on a regular basis, Sarita Hollis told her that she was the envy of all the single women over 25 on campus.

They became intimate in early December. By New Years', she knew that she was in love with him, but she wasn't ready to go headlong into a serious relationship, let alone marriage, the way Ginger apparently had been. However, when he had asked her to marry him, two years ago today, she found herself saying yes, but asking for a bit of time before the ceremony. Between CJ's having twins that coming May and Donna's wedding that September, she would have to deal with a lot of things, professionally and personally. Jean-Luc replied with his French-Canadian humor that he would wait forever if she didn't take too long about it and they settled on a 15-month engagement. When she took him to Indiana to meet her parents and the rest of her family over his spring break, he spent two hours with her father, outlining his plans for his professional future, wanting to assure the man that his daughter would be well provided for, and that she would be well loved. Then they flew to Canada and proudly introduced her to his father and sister.

When fate stepped in and took CJ's babies from her at birth, she was glad that she was able to give full time to "Better World" issues and that she and her mom had plenty of time to iron out all the details of a long-distance wedding. Following CJ's advice, she did allow her parents to give her the wedding of their dreams, with 12 bridal attendants, including a newly-delivered Ginger, Carol, Donna, Nancy, Cathy, Margaret, Jean-Luc's sister, and 5 cousins. She wished that CJ and Danny could have been there, but knew that the "due at any minute" baby was the most important thing in the Concannon universe at that time.

Now, married nine months, she was deliriously happy. Next week, she and Jean-Luc would close on the house they had found. His role as chair of the French department was secure at the university. Last week, the Hollis Foundation board had approved her and Nancy's promotions to assistant vice-presidents and she was recruiting a staff of her own.

She was looking forward to having their house, to planting a garden, to decorating, to nesting, to making their house a reflection of their love for one another.

She had all this, because she had moved away from Indiana, first to Washington and now to California. She thanked God for the courage to have done so.

She had studied German in high school and at Purdue, but she had picked up some French just from being with Jean-Luc. She also signed up with the local high school extension for a beginning French class. She wanted to share in every part of her husband's life. She explained to the instructor that she needed certain phrases beyond _"la plume de ma tante est sur le table"._

Jean-Luc stirred again. _"Ah, que je t'aime, ah, que je t'aime_."

"_Moi aussi, mon mari._ _Je t'aime avec toût mon coeur, mon valentin_."

_Santa Monica, CA 9:30 PM PST_

CJ set down the bottle, arose from the rocker, tucked Paddy back into his crib, rubbed a bit of Orajel and a drop of her brother-in-law's whiskey on her son's gums, returned to the bedroom and snuggled back into the warmth and protection of her husband's body.

In the past three years, they had indeed learned many new things, had become good at those new things.

Not that everything had been "Donna Reed" perfect. They had had the occasional disagreements and spats, even two full-blown screaming and yelling fights.

It turned out that they disagreed on a couple of local elections, on one Assembly candidate, and on a referendum on a state constitutional issue over the past almost three years.

She was even glad earlier this month to find out that they disagreed about Jean-Luc deciding to remain a Canadian national (she felt that he if was living and working here, he should seek citizenship whereas Danny felt that by remaining Canadian, he and Bonnie would have options that might prove useful in the future), because it was the first time they had argued since they found the lump in her breast. To her, it indicated that their lives were returning to normal, or rather, to whatever passed for normal for the two of them.

For the life of her, she couldn't remember what the first big fight was about, only that the first night, they both felt compelled to tell each other that although they were still mad, they still loved the other.

The second one occurred a week before they received the news about Brianna. Five drunken idiots came down the block one afternoon and started keying some of the cars parked on the street. It was one of the rare days when Steve had to be out of the neighborhood on business (defending his work for a client at the local IRS office), and Danny decided to confront the men by himself. Luckily, eight year-old Heather Jenkins ran to her house and Angela called the police, but by the time they arrived, Danny had a black eye, a cut lip, and several bruised ribs.

Jessica called CJ at her office and when she came home, the neighbors were still on the street. First, she made sure that he was okay. Then she started yelling at him. Did he think he was a superhero? Where was his common sense? She had no desire to be a widow. His son needed to have his father in his life. It was only after three minutes that she realized she should have waited until they were in the house and shouldn't have gone off on him in front of the neighbors and the neighborhood children. She apologized to him right then and there, in front of everyone, but when they were inside, she told him again how upset she was, and somehow managed to blame him for making her get so mad that she lost her temper and ended up making a fool of herself in front of everyone. And he was hurt and upset that she had humiliated him in front of everyone.

After about 25 minutes of yelling at each other, he started to laugh; she joined in. This particular fight ended up with them reconciling in a very enjoyable manner as they both admitted that they could have exercised much better judgment.

But for the most part, she was so unbelievably content with her life. She had no desire to return to the political arena. Sam asked her to sit on a state advisory board; she told him that she had more than enough on her plate with her foundation, her husband, and her son.

"Road to a Better World" was succeeding beyond their expectations; she couldn't say that the project was more important than keeping the world from war or dealing with a nuclear accident, but neither could she say that it was less important than those other accomplishments.

Nor could she believe how easily she had adjusted to motherhood; nor to how much having Paddy had meant to her life. Danny, Abbey, and some others told her that they absolutely knew she would be good at it; Toby and Josh told her they were astounded that she reveled in motherhood; most of the others fell somewhere in between.

Most of all, she had learned how to give herself totally to this man lying behind her without surrendering the essence of her self. She had had a brief glimmer of this joy long ago with Paul, but that paled in comparison with what she had with Danny. She wondered if God had sent Paul to her those long 30 years ago to let her know that this was possible, so that she didn't settle for "well, okay" all the while that God's plans wove the web to bring her to Danny and him to her.

Even on days like today, when things seem to conspire against them, they had learned to deal with things, to prioritize, to accept, to make do.

There was a virus going around, and two weeks ago, she had caught it. Also, last week had been extremely hectic, work wise, so she was tired and had tried to catch up on household chores yesterday.

The parish had held the "Valentine's Party" for married couples Saturday evening. However, because Father Luke was down with the virus, there was no separate Mass; the married folk went to the regularly scheduled Saturday evening one. When they went to Communion, she asked Danny to carry Paddy; she was afraid she wouldn't be able to manage the host or the cup with only one hand. Before the dismissal rite, Father Niko asked the "marrieds" to stand, and prayed over them, asking God to bless them and their marriages through the intercession of "Valentine, Bishop and Martyr".

After Mass, they took part in the dinner, lecture, and dancing, having dropped off Paddy with the other babies and toddlers in the care of the Teen Club.

When they got home last night, she sat down on the bed while Danny went to deal with the baby; the next thing she knew, it was 5:00 AM and she was lying next to him in her bra and underpants.

They had awakened about 8:00 this morning and exchanged gifts (she got him a Kentucky cluster ring for his right hand; he bought her the light green sapphire necklace, bracelet, and earrings she would need to match her dress for Carol's wedding in May). He had removed her bra and was about to do the same with her panties when Paddy interrupted them, making his needs known.

Then Erin called; Fiona had dropped out of university, left Dublin, and was working as a dancer ("a chorus girl, really") at a club in London. Robin was alternating between anger at his older daughter and fear for her. Aunt Sorcha kept telling them not to worry, but Erin needed to vent her own frustration and decided that her little brother would be the best sounding board.

Someone lost their brakes and rammed into the tree in Clara's front lawn, knocking it into the roof; the men of the block had to cut down and cut up the tree and make a temporary patch to the roof with a tarp. Then they had to determine when one or more of them could be with Clara when she got the estimates for repair, to make sure that no one tried to take advantage of her. ("I'm pretty good about this, myself," Clara confided to CJ, Diana, and Hannah, "but if it makes the guys feel better about themselves, I'll let them 'help' me.")

Paddy was cranky and fitful. He had started teething right after Christmas; apparently, today was going to be one of his bad days.

Hogan called to let them know that sometime in the fall, she would become Lt. Mrs. Submariner Guy. She would email a picture of the ring.

Finally, about 35 minutes ago, he stopped her as she was carrying a load of clothes to the laundry room. "Can that wait for a while?"

She set down the basket, looked toward the nursery. "If we're lucky, we have 20 minutes."

"Then let's make the most of them."

And with the love and experience of three years, they had tenderly, gently, but efficiently and quickly finished what they had started over 12 hours ago.

She reached back and brushed her hand over his upper hip and buttock. "Love you," she whispered.

He moved away from her, and, with a hand on her shoulder, carefully pressed her onto her back. Coming over her, he kissed her and spoke into her mouth.

"I thank God everyday for you, Jeannie."

_March 17, 2010_

Three different women sat in three different examining rooms with three different obstetrician-gynecologists, each hearing the same words.

"Congratulations! It looks as if you had a very nice St. Valentine's Day!"


	42. In God's Hands, in God's Time

**In God's Hands, in God's Time**

Adult/NC17 -- mature scenes and topics, some "dirty words"

CJ/Danny, Josh/Donna, and a whole busload of characters. If they worked in the West Wing, they're most likely in here.

Spoilers – through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

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_Friday May 14, 2010 Washington DC_

Danny Concannon was alone at the table toward the back of the room. Carol and David's rehearsal dinner party was in its third hour and everyone was enjoying themselves.

Some were still reacting to the news from Donna and Josh.

It happened when Ellie and Vic were explaining why Zoey wasn't with Charlie over at Georgetown tonight, why she wouldn't be coming down tomorrow morning with Jed, Abbey, and Liz. ("She can't stand to be in DC in mid-May; it brings back so many horrible memories. She'll fly down Sunday for Charlie's graduation. She feels safe at the farm, with the agents. I'm glad that Charlie will be clerking for the Massachusetts Chief Justice; they'll be close to New Hampshire"). Helen Santos asked if Liz might consider joining her staff. "I'm going to need someone with her skills, her experience come this fall and into next year, assuming we win in November."

Donna touched her stomach and said, "When the kids are born, I'm taking at least a full year off".

"Kids?" CJ picked up on the word. "Donna, are you having two?"

Then Josh, his grin as wide as his entire face, had held up his right hand, his thumb holding down his pinky finger.

"Triplets!!"

All the men started congratulating Josh, giving him high fives, telling him things like "You da man!", "superstud!", and "triple threat".

"Excuse me!" Donna shouted. "Josh didn't do anything out of the ordinary. I'm the one who produced two, maybe three eggs at the same time! And without fertility drugs!"

(At the end of March, during Carol's shower, when Bonnie, Donna, and Ginger announced their pregnancies, both Donna and Ginger indicated that they hadn't been "trying"; only Bonnie and Jean-Luc's baby was planned).

Matt Santos argued that they could very well be identical triplets and that it was Josh's "contribution" that triggered the three-way split. The general hilarity continued for the next five minutes.

The rehearsal earlier in the evening was one of the most enjoyable ones he had ever attended. That is, it was once Paul Reeves, CJ's erstwhile "first" and now widowed Disciples of Christ minister, had diplomatically wrested control of it from Carol's mother and Carol's mother's cousin Elsie.

Paul talked everyone through the ceremony with practiced ease, then worked with each person or subgroup individually, ending with a top to bottom run-through.

Danny remembered the description of one of his duties. "Danny, you will lift Carol's blusher, drape it over the back of her main veil. At this point, Carol and David will see each other for the first time, each will proclaim 'No way am I marrying that!' and take off for separate parts unknown, Carol on the bride's side, David on the groom's, of course."

When Paul told "the three blooming bridesmaids" to make sure they used the facilities right before the ceremony because "no one walks out on my sermon", Bonnie, Donna, and Ginger all said "Yes, sir!" Then when Carol's mom said something about three pregnant bridesmaids out of five attendants and Cousin Elsie said "Better the bridesmaid than the bride!", Paul said that he would have his baby blessing ritual at the ready because with three women each three months' pregnant, he figured that the infant could come at any minute, "or doesn't it work that way?"

Donna had told CJ and him that Carol and David, indeed, the entire congregation, thought that Paul had hung the moon. It was obvious from the easy way that Carol and David related with the minister, both at the rehearsal and now at the dinner afterward, that it was true. Apparently, John Hoynes also belonged to the same church and he had seen Hoynes and Paul talking together earlier. Good; if Hoynes was getting some counseling, it could only bode better things for Margaret and the man with whom she was now openly having an intimate relationship.

Carol and David were talking with some of his friends from the State Department and, looking at her, Danny still couldn't shake the thought that something was bothering her. When he mentioned it to CJ as they were driving from the church to this restaurant, she told him it was just jitters and he wanted to believe her, but he still wasn't sure.

Speaking of CJ, he heard her voice take on the slightly higher pitch and faster tempo that meant she was on one of her classic spiels. He looked up to see Matt Santos, leader of the free world, with that "deer caught in the headlights" look that indicated he had neither earthly idea what was happening nor plan for dealing with it.

"She still does that?"

Carrying two beers and some napkins, Paul sat down at a right angle to him. He handed one of the beers to Danny.

"Yeah. It's fun to just watch everyone try to figure out what's going on, not realizing that unless you have the secret to stopping it, you just have to let her wind down like an old-fashioned alarm clock."

Danny had taken an instant liking to Paul, felt an instant connect with him. He realized during the rehearsal and during dinner that he could have a very easy relationship with this man, much better than the tentative one he was still developing with Toby Ziegler. The bond between CJ and Paul was still there, a tiny bit more on Paul's part than on hers, he suspected, but it was also firmly contained in the past and posed absolutely no threat, physically or emotionally, to his marriage.

"It was always a dilemma, deciding if I wanted to stop her right away, or challenging myself to see how long I could hold out," Paul laughed.

"Yeah," Danny agreed.

"I think I once went six minutes, but I usually gave up after four or so. You?"

"Once, I went almost ten minutes before kissing her."

"Kissing?"

"You know, just grabbing the back of her head and, wait," Danny looked over at Paul, "how did you stop her?"

"Tickling."

"Really?"

"Maybe she's outgrown it, but you know that thing that Patrick Swayze did to Jennifer Grey in _Dirty Dancing_ with the back of his fingers? Well, a bit lower than that, right above her waist – Kissing?"

"Yeah. Tickling?"

Both men were lost in thought for a few seconds, a combination of happy memories and missed opportunities because of knowledge gained too late on the part of the minister, a combination of happy memories and gleeful anticipation about putting new knowledge to use on the part of the husband.

"Danny, she's been trying to match me up, first with Josh Lyman's deputy and then with the UN ambassador, God knows who else she has in mind -"

"I tried to tell her it was a risky idea. Next up, for your consideration, Admiral Fitzwallace's widow."

"Like I could ever stack up to **him**, even if I were interested. Damn! Danny, I really need to talk to her. May I?"

"A – Don't sell yourself short; B – you don't need my permission to talk with my wife."

"Well, it's not so much talking **with** as talking **to**, intensely; this has **got** to stop!"

"Oh, you want to yell at her." Danny took a pen out of his pocket, grabbed a napkin, and started writing.

"Well, I never had to raise my voice with her, or with Alicia, for that matter, whenever I found it necessary to - "

"Chastise?" Danny suggested, with twinkling eyes and a smile. This man preached, after all, and probably enjoyed speaking the right word as much as Danny did writing it.

"That conjures up an image of palm applied to backside and I was never that brave, or that stupid; I'm not about to start now." Paul smiled back at him.

"Scold? Lecture? How about 'discuss emphatically and seriously'? Here." He handed the napkin to the other man.

"What's this?"

"No sense in both of us getting on her shit list. Mention those three things to her while you're at it."

The minister read the napkin. He nodded his head in agreement with the first point, shrugged his shoulders on the second. Then he read the third item.

"This last one; she really does?"

"Yep."

"Danny, believe me, she was raised better than that! I apologize."

"I'm sure she was; you are obviously a man of breeding and culture. One can only do so much; they tend to have minds of their own. You know," he changed the subject, "she wouldn't be doing the _yenta_ thing if it hadn't been such a wonderful time in her life, if you hadn't been so good for her. It **is** a compliment."

"I know, but the timing is all wrong," the other man sighed. "I've loved two women in my life. Right now, God has one and you have the other. At this point, I need to give whatever capacity I have to love, other than those memories, to my kids and to my flock."

"Let her know that. She's heading for the rest room. Ambush her when she gets out."

When CJ left the rest room, she saw Paul standing there, leaning against the wall, his arms casually crossed.

"CJ, I need to talk to you." His smile lit up his face, but his inflection and his arms signaled what was going on.

"I really should get to Danny", she said as he led her around the corner to a little alcove.

"I've already spoken with your husband," he leaned her up against one wall while he took the other. "In fact, he gave me a list; let's get his items out of the way before mine."

He looked at the napkin.

"One, don't ride with the Mustang's top down after dark. A perfectly reasonable request, in my opinion. You're too smart not to know how dangerous it can be out there. If it were me, you wouldn't be in a soft-topped car at all. Count your blessings.

"Two, when putting warm beers in the fridge, put them in the back and move the cold ones to the front. Not on my personal list of top ten issues, but he's married to you and I'm not. Why don't you just try, sweetheart?" How easily he slipped back into their old banter. He smiled slowly and she began to remember why she was with this man for two years, why he was so special those many years ago.

"But this last one. CJ, CJ, CJ. This really wounds me, it reflects so badly on me." His smile lightened the tone, but she knew he was a little serious as well. "What did I teach you about a man's razor?"

Suddenly, it was as if she was a fourth-grader in CCD class, reciting her memorized Baltimore Catechism answers about transubstantiation or the seven corporal works of mercy.

"The man's razor is sacrosanct. The man's razor is never to be touched. The woman will wear a blouse with sleeves and slacks, will forego swimming, rather than use the man's razor. If the man has a spare, he will gladly give it to the woman, but the woman must always ask. If the future of the universe, or a doctor's appointment, absolutely demands that the man's razor be used, the woman will make sure that the man knows about the exigency so that the man is aware that the sanctity of the razor has been compromised before applying it to the man's face or neck." She sighed and then smiled. "You really would have been a damned good lawyer. So now you lecture women on how to be dutiful wives?"

He refolded the napkin so that a blank side faced out, reached into his pocket for a pen, and handed the things to CJ.

"I'm sure that any of the couples I counsel will tell you that my advice and suggestions go both ways. When you and I are done here, you want to give me a list to discuss with Danny, I'll take it back to him.

"But for now, distraction is not allowed. CJ, please, if you have any feeling at all left for me, stop trying to put another woman in my life."

"I don't know what you mean?" Eight years in the Bartlet White House had taught her how to evade. Maybe it would work on him.

"I'm a _magna_ graduate of Dartmouth, I got into UC Berkeley's Law School, made Law Review, graduated from Yale Divinity School. Did you really think I wouldn't see through the little play you talked Donna into at Thanksgiving, or the invitation to the Prayer Breakfast? Margaret has eyes only for her devoted suitor and even if I were open to someone else at this time, Dr. McNally is way out of my league. I suppose I should be flattered that you think I could even **begin** to hold a candle to Percy Fitzwallace."

"How did you know about – I'll kill him!"

"No, you won't. More about what you **will** do later. CJ, between your emails, the part of your life that's been public record, and hell, girl, just looking at you, it's obvious what's going on. There's no zealot quite like a convert."

"Excuse me?"

"For the longest time, up until three, three and a half years ago, you were lonely, maybe a little miserable most of the time, except for those few weeks with the Secret Service guy. Then Danny grabbed you and pulled you, kicking and screaming, into this life you have now. I'd like to flatter myself and say that for the past 40 or so months you are the happiest you've been since you were with me, but to be brutally honest with myself, you've never been this happy. And like any convert to anything, be it religion, a new food regimen, even a new TV show, you want everyone to have what you have. You see me, alone, and you assume that I am lonely, that I need someone in my life. But you could not be more wrong. If and when that changes, it will be because God offers me that option, not you."

"How do you know that God isn't offering you that option through me or through someone else? Isn't it possible that God caused us to meet up again in Dulles, that God wants me to find someone else for you? You have so much to offer, and there are so many wonderful women who could offer so much to you."

"Of course He could work through you or through someone else, but if He did, it wouldn't feel forced, it wouldn't be uncomfortable. What if our paths had crossed again some 15 years ago, when **I** was the one who was deliriously happy and I pushed men I deemed worthy at you? You could have married someone else, not joined 'Bartlet for America', never met Danny."

He told her how he had learned to let things flow over him. He didn't think that the bad things that had happened to him were necessarily the "will of God"; that God might will some things, but most He just allowed to happen. ("The eternal, intoxicating mystery of an omnipotent God who chooses not to exercise His omnipotence, with free will thrown in as a chaser. Better, smarter, holier men and women than I have tried to explain it and can't; don't ask me to.") He told her that when he lost Alicia, he threw himself into missionary work because she had been so much a part of his teaching that he couldn't remain in the seminary environment. But once he was in Southeast Asia, he realized how much one could serve God by serving others. Now, he didn't think that God caused Alicia to die merely to teach him a life lesson, but he did believe that God used the fact of Alicia's death to offer him the opportunity to learn that lesson. He didn't believe that God gave him the parasitic infection to tear him away from Asia, nor did he believe that God gave the previous minister of his church a stroke, in order to provide an opening for him. But again, because of those events, he was ministering to a church for the first time since he had been newly ordained and was an associate to a senior minister.

Back then, he chafed under the older man's micro-management and conservative pastoral style and escaped to the relative freedom of the seminary. But now, he was fully in charge and he loved it. He awoke every morning filled with enthusiasm for his church. He loved all of it, the services, the "business" aspects, the pastoral counseling, the baby blessings, the weddings, even, in a strange way, the funerals. And that was another thing. If he were dating, courting, he couldn't give as much as he did to his congregation. No, he wasn't advocating mandatory celibacy, he laughed, but he could almost understand why her church required it of its priests.

"CJ, life has been so much easier since I accepted that things will happen in God's hands, in God's time. Look, when I found this vocation and we left each other, I was heartsick and the cause was my inability to surrender so willingly to the circumstances. For the longest time, I wasn't sure if I had made the right decision. I loved you so much. I kept thinking I should have stayed, held onto you, completed that final year of law school, tried again the next year or the year after that for PSR, or tried for one of the other schools in the Union. I had hoped for so much, was so looking forward to being engaged and then married to you, had been saving for - "

"Saving?" she asked, tears starting to form in her eyes.

"Of course, saving," he said just a little impatiently, "I didn't want to go into debt but I wanted to give you – you never realized, the extra work?" It hit him that she really didn't have any idea at the time.

Suddenly, he stopped. He was slipping too much into the past and he couldn't do that. If, in the past, he had the right, if he felt it necessary, to induce tears, if that's what it took to make her truly understand, it was because he also had the right to kiss away those tears, to move on to other activities to reinforce in her the fact that it was his love and his concern for her that spurred the harsh words he needed to say. Now, that right belonged to the man who, while conversing with another couple, was nonetheless very aware of what was happening in this alcove.

However, he could not help himself from ending the discussion as he had so often done some thirty years ago. He slipped his hand under her chin, raised her head, rubbed his thumb on her cheek, and smiled. "So why don't you just say you're sorry, that you'll never do it again, and then we can forget all about it and move on to much nicer things?"

"I never realized before how much that sounds like what a priest says in the confessional."

"I'll have you know I aced my Comparative Christianity classes. So, earlier, when I said you would not kill Danny, that you would do something else? Tonight, when you and he go back to your hotel bed, I want to you let him know, with words and with actions, how much he means to you, how much you love him, how lucky you are to have him in your life. This is your condition of absolution. I want you to do for him, to him, everything I taught you to do, everything he likes - "

"I can't, I've got my - "

It brought back so many memories. He laughed aloud, gave her a huge bear hug, and kissed the top of her head. "Then do a **particular** **one** of those things, okay?"

With his arm still around her shoulders, he walked her toward the table and Danny.

Danny was talking with Charlie and his sister. They had stopped in after the Law School dean's reception for the graduating class. But he was also very much aware of Paul and CJ as they stood in the archway. At one point, he noticed her shoulders start to shrink and, knowing that the posture often signaled the imminent onset of tears, he became concerned, ready to step in. Danny knew that Paul and CJ needed to have this conversation, that she needed to hear it from Paul and not from Danny; he didn't think that Paul would push her too far, but if he tried, Danny would not let that happen. Yes, she had meddled; yes, she needed to stop it. But her heart, misguided though it was, had been in the right place; there was a limit to how much distress Danny would allow.

Then, suddenly, he could sense the change between the two of them. As he watched the man lift her chin with the palm of his hand, sweep her cheek with his thumb, and then caress the outline of her jaw with that thumb, Danny saw them not as the middle-aged minister and Danny's almost 50-year old wife, but as they were some thirty years ago. Paul was the confident, enthusiastic, very much in love 22 to 23 year-old law student with the brilliant future who would have, in all likelihood, made it to the California Supreme Court; CJ was the 19 to 20 year-old woman-child who basked in and glowed with the joy of first love. Paul's outburst of laughter and her much smaller one was followed by a large enveloping hug. Paul was bringing her back to him when Carol and David came up to the two of them, wanting to introduce him to David's brother and best man, who had finally arrived from Australia, so Paul walked away with them, giving CJ a little push on her back toward him.

"So, am I going to get killed?" Danny asked his wife.

"I was told that wasn't allowed."

They moved off to join some of the others, unaware that a third party had overheard Danny and Paul, had seen everything.

As he stood in the shadows watching CJ, Danny, Charlie, and Deanna walking away from the table, John Hoynes saw Margaret coming toward him. Thank God she hadn't finished before now.

The office had called her earlier and she needed to handle some issues. She needed quiet and she needed privacy. He could not, and would not, hang over her shoulder as she talked on her cell, but neither would he let her stand by herself in the back hallway, where anyone could come in off the street.

As he stood sentry, close enough to see to her safety but far enough to not overhear her conversation, he found himself the unintended eavesdropper on the conversation between his minister and Danny Concannon. He could not move any closer to Margaret without overhearing her; a move in any other direction would reveal his presence to the two men.

He remembered being told that the man who had taken over at his church knew CJ Cregg (he just couldn't get used to calling her "Concannon") back when the both of them were at Berkeley. The conversation between Danny and the minister, plus the observed scene between CJ and the minister, made three things quite clear. One, there had been a serious relationship between the minister and CJ. Two, Danny Concannon was well aware of the history. Three, Danny was secure in a) his wife's love and integrity, b) the minister's integrity, and c) Danny's own role as the most important man in CJ's life.

He liked Paul Reeves. The man was helping him to understand why he had acted so callously toward some women in the past; he was learning to be secure in his masculinity without being macho.

Among the many things he had discussed with the minister was if and how he should tell Margaret about his one-night stand with CJ. He hadn't mentioned CJ's name to Paul, of course, but he wondered if Paul had realized the identity of "someone Margaret worked with closely". He probably did, John realized, but the man would never tell him that; the minister was the epitome of discretion.

John had been conflicted. He wanted to follow the advice he had given CJ two years ago, to make sure that Margaret heard it from him and not from some horrible gossip column. But he also felt that he owed it to CJ to keep the confidence. Paul had suggested that he "discuss the situation with the woman first, not necessarily to get her consent, because you need to do what is best for your relationship with Margaret, but to give this other woman the courtesy of knowing what you are doing and why." Until a few minutes ago, the former vice-president had considered asking Paul to meet with CJ and him sometime this weekend, to be there when he told CJ what he felt he needed to do. Knowing what he now knew, he couldn't do that to either Paul or CJ. Paul was obviously CJ's first serious relationship, maybe even her first lover, and even when he was the worst Casanova on record, he knew that one shouldn't destroy those special memories. Even if Paul did suspect, suspicion was one thing; knowing, and CJ knowing that Paul knew, would be quite another.

"I'm sorry that took so long. Were you waiting here all this time? You should have gone back to the party," Margaret said.

"No, ma'am. I didn't want you back here alone. I know you needed to handle whatever issue came up, and that you needed silence and privacy, but I needed to watch out for you."

Margaret slipped an arm around his waist in a light hug. He took her hand, kissed it, clasped it, and walked with her into the main part of the party.

He was painfully aware of how important this wedding weekend was for his relationship with Margaret.

Soon after Valentine's Day, they spoke openly with each other about their relationship, their jobs, and how to deal with the situation. They would not sacrifice personal happiness on the altar of government service. If necessary, John would resign from his position as advisor and legislative liaison for Matt Santos. He could easily find work in the private sector or with some governmental agency not closely tied with the Executive branch. Also, he had his vice-presidential pension. Margaret enjoyed her administrative managerial role for the Santos administration but she also could find a similar position elsewhere.

They presented their case to the President and to Josh. It was not a matter of asking for permission to be publicly and officially a "couple"; that was a given. They merely respectfully offered the men the opportunity to tell Margaret and him if one or both of them should seek alternative employment.

They were told that for the immediate future, neither the President nor Josh had any issues. Both reserved the right to change their minds in the months to come, if necessary.

So now they were official. They had already attended two state functions as such, arriving together, sitting together, leaving together, indulging in discreet signs of affection (his hand at her waist as he guided her through the crowd, dancing arm in arm instead of the more formal pose, her adjusting his lapel and tie or removing a crumb from his mouth). He spent the occasional night at her townhouse, but he never stayed until morning when her son was with her. On several occasions when Bruno had the boy, she came to his bed and they did go to New York one weekend. They were circumspect in the White House.

But this wedding with its events was their first time together with what he referred to as the "Bartlet clique".

Margaret had made it clear that he would be with her at everything to which the "significant other" of a member of the bridal party would be invited. Carol had no objection, of course, but to the others, he was there on trial. He was fully prepared to have the degree to which his intentions were honorable questioned by everyone, including Jed Bartlet when he came down for the wedding tomorrow.

He knew the group wasn't a closed corporation. Danny, Rick, Jean-Luc, Morgan, and now David had been brought into the mix. However, he had history with the group and would have to ease his way into it; moreover, he knew that he would have to prove himself "worthy" of Margaret.

He had played it, and would continue to play it, very low key, much like the person joining an established web chat group. At the rehearsal itself, he sat in the back of the church with Morgan, Rick, Josh, and Jean-Luc while the others went through their paces. Danny was acting _in loco parentis_ and Sam was an understudy usher. (David's brother's arrival from Australia was delayed and was iffy due to an early typhoon in the Pacific; David's college roommate might have to move up from usher to best man.) He pretty much stayed out of the conversation, as the three men were discussing their wives' pregnancies. Given the fact that all three had been given due dates within a week of each other in the middle of November, he assumed that for each of them, Valentine's Day had obviously been special. Given the way that Danny devoured his wife with his eyes, there could very well have been a fourth baby on the way. Hell, the way he fumbled with the condom the first time, he was lucky (or was it unlucky, he thought a little wistfully) that Margaret wasn't carrying.

During dinner, everyone had been polite and fairly cordial. He talked some with Jean-Luc about teaching French language and literature at the college level and about modern French literature. When CJ and Bonnie talked about some of the interesting developments in "Road to a Better World", he asked questions, fascinated, as he had always been, by the project. He congratulated Josh about the triplets, but refrained from making any comment about it being an "achievement" on the man's part.

During the toasts, he kept his mouth shut; the only advice he could give the groom would have been "Ask yourself 'What Would John Hoynes Do?' and then do the opposite."

He stayed out of the limited karaoke challenge, except as a chorus member. The party had been divided into 4 groups and each group chose three songs. It was up to each individual group to decide if a lead singer was needed. Also, the groups could not pick any song first released prior to 1990.

He was also lying low with regard to Margaret's jewelry for tomorrow. Right after St. Patrick's Day, he had overheard Margaret talking with Donna, saying that she was going to ask CJ if she could borrow CJ's "iolites" because her son needed orthopedic shoes and was outgrowing them at least twice a year; jewelry to match her dress would be an extravagance. Later, he asked Carol about the situation.

"It started when Danny bought some really nice stuff for CJ back in '08, for that gala in San Francisco. Josh felt as if he had to go one better and spent a small fortune on Donna's wedding gift, a tennis necklace and earrings in diamonds. Then Danny gave CJ that gorgeous emerald cut diamond ring for Paddy; Josh gave Donna a diamond tennis bracelet for Noah. It's developed into a friendly competition. When Rick found out that Danny and Josh were buying necklaces, bracelets, and earrings to match CJ and Donna's dress linings, he felt he had to do the same for Ginger, and then Jean-Luc said something about upholding the honor of French men."

Earlier today, he saw evidence of the good-natured rivalry between Danny and Josh when CJ and Donna admired each other's Mother's Day gifts. Noah had given Donna a diamond watch; Paddy's gift to CJ was a pendant encrusted with pearls (Paddy's and Danny's birthstone) and imperial topaz (CJ's) on one side and photoengraved with a picture of the three of them on the other.

Anyway, back in March he asked Carol some more questions and decided that he would buy something for Margaret. He found a picture of CJ from the gala and went to a jeweler recommended to him by Helen Santos. Carol had a picture of Margaret in her dress at the last fitting and he had that with him as well.

He was not about to get in the middle of Danny and Josh's friendly pissing contest. He knew that with all his family's money, Rick would probably exceed the two of them in money expended and Jean-Luc would, in all likelihood, find something with a certain _je ne sais quoi_ that would charm the women, especially Bonnie. He told the man that he wanted something in purple, something that would be somewhat in line with what CJ was wearing in the picture, but not quite up to that standard. Again, he felt as if he had to "know his place" in the group.

The jeweler suggested amethysts, and rather than a large stone presence, he suggested fewer stones, but larger ones, and more gold than was showing in CJ's picture. The sophisticated line of Margaret's dress would be enhanced by the simplicity. He would give the pieces to Margaret when he took her home this evening.

The party had quieted down to the "interesting conversation" phase when Margaret's cell had rung. Now that she was done, they walked over to where the Santos', the Lyman's, and the Seaborn's were gathered. Margaret quietly and quickly gave Josh and the President a summary and then the conversation turned on to other topics.

Later that evening, the group had pulled several tables together. Carol and David were with his friends and coworkers from the State Department. Sam had challenged the men to name either the most romantic thing they had planned for their loved one or the thing they did that caused the most interesting fight. Sam excused Danny from the competition, since Gail had vaulted him into the "Romance Hall of Fame" and CJ and Danny's White House fights were also legendary. Of course, since there were those in the group who were not aware of the "Saga of Gail the Goldfish", the tale had to be told.

When asked, Paul smiled a smile that did not reach his suddenly sad eyes and quietly said that he couldn't talk about Alicia.

So Josh, having drunk from several other kegs in addition to the keg of glory since he had been proclaimed "super seed splitter" by Matt Santos, dictated that Paul had to talk about CJ, especially since Sam said Danny couldn't.

This time, the smile did reach his eyes.

"The most romantic thing I came up with will stay between CJ, me, whatever I chose to share with Alicia, and whatever she chooses to share with Danny." His earlier conversation with Danny had teased forth a memory from long ago. "I guess the most interesting fight would be over someone I defended in front of the Student Disciplinary Committee. It was right after we got pinned, that first year."

"You guys were pinned?" Bonnie asked. "That's sweet!"

"So," Paul continued, "there were these two seniors in CJ's dorm that took BART over to the city one day, and then took the ferry over to Sausalito. While they were there, the girls decided they wanted to go out to Stinson beach, so they hitched. However, the man who picked them up on the way back kidnapped them and held them for a day and a half before they got away.

"One of them was engaged to a guy in grad school at Ohio State, but the other one's fiancé was also a senior at Berkeley. The first night she was back in the dorm, he came over, made sure she was okay, then pulled her over his knees and proceeded to whale the tar out of her right there in the dorm lounge, in front of whoever happened to be there."

"And I still can't believe you defended him, approved of what he did!"

"I defended him because that was my job; he had a right to legal counsel before SDC," he replied just a bit sharply, just as he had at the time. Then, more quietly, "And you know I didn't approve, would **never** have - ".

"But you said you could understand why he did what he did."

"As did just about every other guy on campus, as would most men. Her own father said it saved him the trouble of doing it himself. There's a big difference between understanding and approving." He turned to the other men. "Am I right?"

There were nods of agreement and some "damn straight"s.

"I will avail myself of your fifth amendment," Jean-Luc said. Bonnie quickly announced that his comment did not, repeat not, involve any activity on her part; her pointed look at her husband clearly said, "You and me. Details. Later."

"As a twenty-two year-old male in that era, I would have done it myself," John Hoynes stated, "but not in public; I would have waited until we were behind closed doors. If only to make the apologizing for having done it afterward that much more immediate and interesting."

"And now?" Donna pressed the man.

"It's a moot point. I've matured since then, believe it or not; the type of woman that would attract me has matured. The woman I love would never deliberately put herself in harm's way like that."

"So you guys were pinned, engaged to be engaged? How long?" Josh was drunk, Josh was intrigued, Josh didn't think anything about asking personal things about CJ's past in front of CJ's husband.

"Basically a little more than a year, about seven months after we met," CJ said. "And, actually, the way it happened was kind of romantic. Supposedly, we were going to a cocktail party at some professor's house and when I got to the dorm's main hallway, he was there with a huge bouquet of red roses, all of members of his fraternity behind him. The guys started singing "Let Me Call You Sweetheart" in _a capella_ harmony as he gave me the flowers and put the pin on my dress. All the girls in the dorm were down there, a lot of them with dates. Then the fraternity president invited everyone over the house for a party for us. It's a better story than that spanking one." She stuck out her tongue at the man.

"But I didn't think up all that, it was fraternity tradition, based on an older one. If we had been 10 or 12 years older, back in the 60's, everything would have been under your dorm window and I would have had to have climbed a ladder to get to you. The fraternity housemother would have had to have cleared it with your dorm's housemother."

Vic revealed that although he gave Ellie her ring in a park, he had considered proposing to Ellie by seeding Petri dishes to spell out the question, one dish for each letter.

"A moldy proposal! You considered that romantic?" Ginger laughed.

"Well, at least her agents wouldn't have been hanging over our shoulders."

Josh claimed that the most romantic thing he ever did for Donna was to arrange the Great Snowball Caper of Jed Bartlet's second inauguration and wouldn't talk about their biggest fight "because I don't want to remind her what an ass I was".

Sam revealed that the funniest fight he and Morgan had was just last month and involved his contribution to a "just for fun" state motto contest sponsored by the National Governors' Conference. ("California – it's not our fault, it's San Andreas' .")

Rick said that his best romantic effort involved the beach, silk sheets, rose petals, and moonlight; any more details would remain between Ginger and him.

John Hoynes said that he and Margaret hadn't been together long enough to fight and he hadn't had time to do anything romantic; Margaret begged to differ, citing the time he shoveled her steps and sidewalk on St. Valentine's night.

President Santos told how he rented a skywriting plane, took a few lessons, and wished his wife a Happy Mother's Day for her first time.

Charlie thought that sneaking into Zoey's White House bedroom was romantic; as the father of a daughter, Matt Santos begged to differ.

Jean-Luc felt that the most interesting fight with Bonnie could very well be the one they had after he explained his "Fifth Amendment" comment, but also mentioned that the two of them had very strong ideas about when a Christmas tree should be put up and when it should be taken down.

The President was declared the winner on the romance question. As far as the fight issue, it was decided that whatever Josh did or didn't do, it would probably take the prize if it had been revealed.

_Later that evening_

Danny sat in the loveseat, oozing tired satiation out of every pore. CJ was seated on pillows at his feet, her head resting in his lap. He played gently with her hair. Twice he had moved to lift her up beside him and twice she murmured "in a minute."

She had done this to him yesterday afternoon, prior to the nap they were taking before catching the nighttime red-eye to Washington. He was somewhat surprised that, after they had called Santa Monica to check on Paddy, she had changed into her nightgown, led him to this chair, and ministered to him a second time during this cycle; though not unheard of over the past three years, it usually only happened once per period. Not that he was complaining, mind you.

If she were back to normal, she should be through by tomorrow night. She couldn't explain why the idea of intercourse during her period seemed "icky" to her, nor could she explain why she didn't respond to his hand while wearing internal protection. All she knew was that she had always been this way.

Their individual sex lives had been sporadic prior to the night after Leo's death, but their combined one had been anything but irregular, except for a few weeks around the end of the pregnancies, since then. The four or five day gap once every twenty-eight days wasn't that big an imposition. Her libido went into hibernation for the first three days; her "attentions" stoked his and he always looked forward to their first time after her cycle with anticipation. Tomorrow night, in this hotel room, with emotions raised high by the wedding and with Paddy safely in the care of Frank and Diana, should be very nice.

She lifted her head and got to her knees; he helped her to her feet and then pulled her onto his lap.

Kissing the top of her head, he ran his hand lightly over the curve of her hip.

"That was - "

"A bore? Nice? Earthshattering? None of the above?" she joked.

"I was going to say unexpected, but, yes, very nice, enjoyable."

"Unexpected?"

"After yesterday. I was wondering what brought that on; anything you need to tell me?"

She smiled slowly, reached up and kissed him. "I had to let you know how much you mean to me, how much I love you, how lucky I am to have you in my life." She used the same words Paul had when he cornered her; she had followed his instructions. Maybe later she would tell Danny more detail; for now, this should suffice (she hoped).

"Are you okay? Emotionally, I mean? Did you work out things with Paul?" He knew that she knew he wasn't trying to force her into a conversation about what transpired between her former love and herself, but that if she needed to open up, for either advice or solace, he was there.

"He basically said that God will tell him if and when he's ready for someone else in his life and that until that happens, I should butt out. It's obvious that he and Alicia had the same degree of love as you and I do. What I didn't fully realize until tonight is that back then, his love for me was more, mature, I guess, than mine for him."

"I was just a little concerned; you seemed about to cry earlier."

"Well, it was a bit emotional. Then, add in finding out about Donna. When she said that she was planning to get a tubal after the triplets are born, I flashed back to when I was thinking the same thing that first time, and I had this sense of _dejà vu. _It was all I could do to keep myself from telling her not to jinx her babies."

"CJ, you didn't jinx our boys," he gently reproved her. "Stop thinking like that. Are you still thinking about us and our attempt at Minnow, the Sequel?"

When it became apparent that the three pregnancies had probably occurred on the same day ("Probably within a few hours of each other," CJ had joked to Danny), and that they had also made love on that day, CJ began to have conflicting thoughts about when they should start trying for a second child. They had been leaning toward a 3 year gap and figured that she would stop taking contraceptives next summer. Now she was wondering if she was taking a chance with her biology, especially after her experiences these past few months.

They hadn't really thought about the fact that she didn't cycle as usual at the end of February; according to the literature, it sometimes happened with the pills. Then, about 10 days later, when she was in Africa for a "Road to a Better World" dedication, she had a late period that was particularly heavy and painful. He had urged her to make an appointment with Scott, but her schedule made it impossible to find the time. In the middle of April, she had a very short, very light period. Last week, Scott did some tests, thinking that she might be starting peri-menopause, but her hormone levels had remained the same as before. However, it did remind them that they did have a limited window of opportunity.

Danny told her he would help her to consider all the pluses and minuses, but the decision had to be hers. He would support whatever she chose. If there were any way, he said, he'd get pregnant for her, but it didn't work that way. She was the one who had been pregnant for 18 months, with only a small break in between; she was the one who would be pregnant for another nine if they were successful. He gently asked her to consider whether she really wanted another baby now because it was the right time for them or because she was maybe feeling just a little on the outside as Bonnie, Donna, and Ginger formed their temporary little club.

Whether it was now or 15 months from now, he was looking forward to trying. They had conceived rather easily the first two times, so they hadn't had to do any of the things that other couples endured. However, there had been something so special, almost mystical, about their lovemaking during those several days each month when the miracle was a possibility.

He remembered the time their first August when he was pretty sure he had given her the twins. It was so slow and gentle, yet so intense. He was braced above her, the two of them staring into each other's eyes as if they thought the other would disappear if they looked away, if they even blinked. Even at his climax, he kept that contact, kept that concentration, kept himself in control, as if he had to deposit his life force with pinpoint accuracy. It was the same for her. She stiffened against him, went through a brief shudder, sighed lightly, and then gave him the sweetest smile he had ever seen. And then, there was the time about a year later when he swore he could see the zygote that was Paddy go from one cell to sixteen.

He tipped her off his lap and onto the love seat, stood up and pulled her to her feet.

"Let's get to bed, sleepyhead. Tomorrow is a long day."

"And, hopefully, a long night."

That night, as he had almost every night for the past three-plus years, Paul picked up the picture on his nightstand. He had long ago removed the glass; for some reason, touching the matte-finished photographer's paper was sort of like touching her skin, at least, more so than touching cold glass. He traced the outline of his wife's face, the nose, the high cheekbones that were evidence of her Fulani heritage, the full lower lip that he would often gently nip when ending a kiss with her.

"I miss you, my darling, my lifeblood. I would give just about anything short of my immortal soul to have you with me again."

Then he opened the lowest drawer and took out a box. He gently removed the aquamarine negligee and pressed it to his face. It still smelled of her perfume, of Estee Lauder's "Youth Dew", from the last time he had done this, some four months ago; he needn't use any more of the precious remaining drops of the last bottle he had bought for her. Then, no longer holding back, letting the sobs wrack his shoulders and soak the silk, he lay back on the mattress. A bit later, his tears exhausted, he fell asleep with the garment between his face and the pillow.

_Saturday morning, May 15, 2010_

Paul opened his laptop and accessed the Wells Fargo Bank customer web site. He had long ago closed his accounts with them, except for this one, and the passbook had long since been put away in a safety deposit box, but he had periodically moved a dollar in, or a dollar out, to keep the account from going dormant, from going into escheat. He never knew why he felt compelled to do so; now he knew what he must do.

He made note of the balance and created a transfer to his money market account at another institution; he then requested that the account be closed. After so long, this part of his life was complete.

Although it would take some time for the deposit to clear, he wrote out a check for the amount from the money market account. There was already more than enough to cover the document.

Later that day, when he dressed in the clerical suit he would wear for Carol and David's wedding and the reception following, he slipped the check into his inside breast pocket.

_2:00 PM that same day_

Danny knocked on the door of the bridal dressing room at the back of the church. The women had spent most of the morning first at brunch and then with the hairdresser and the makeup artist.

"Am I too early?"

"A little, but everyone's pretty much decent, except for Carol," Bonnie let him into the room.

His eyes took in the women. Their dresses were a printed gauzy fabric that resembled one of Monet's "Water Lilies" paintings, but the lining of each of the dresses was a different color and they were wearing shoes and jewelry to match their particular lining color.

Bonnie's dress, with a squared-off sleeveless neckline and an empire waist to accommodate her pregnancy, was lined in pale yellow and she had three pear shaped pendants on a gold herringbone chain around her neck, pear shaped stud earrings, and a gold bracelet with five tiny pear shaped stations, all the stones being pale yellow beryl.

Ginger was accented in pink and Rick had found her jewelry that combined the palest kunzite, light pink sapphire, and darker pink tourmaline in round-cut stones. Her necklace had 25 stones, with the largest and deepest in the center, and the 12 stones on either side becoming progressively lighter and smaller. Her bracelet, however, was tennis-style, with the stones all the same size but alternating in color. The earrings had a three-stone drop, with the lightest color on the stud and the darkest on the bottom. She wore a strapless neckline and she was barely showing, which was a good thing with the slim style of her kick-pleated skirt.

The light green sapphires he had given CJ on Valentine's Day were emerald cut and the necklace and bracelet were both tennis style. Her sleeveless Vee neckline flowed down to a natural waist and an A-line skirt.

"You all look lovely."

"Half of us look pregnant!" Donna exclaimed, playing with her sky-blue topaz jewelry; it was an exact copy of the marquise-cut iolites Hank had found for CJ two years ago.

The fates had been kind to Donna when she decided against a halter top for her blue-lined dress. After talking with CJ and hearing about how removing a lining could turn a "wear only once" bridesmaid dress into a nightgown, she went with a Grecian tunic with gathers flowing from under the "cross your heart" style of the bodice. She certainly needed the extra fabric to cover her triplet-filled bulge.

Danny told Donna that she looked marvelous and Margaret agreed with him.

He was surprised when he saw Margaret. CJ had told him about two months ago that Margaret had called her and asked if she could borrow the iolites for the wedding. However, Margaret was wearing a very striking trillion-cut amethyst slide, about an inch on each side, on a quarter-inch wide gold choker, matching stud earrings about a half-inch to the side, and a gold bangle bracelet set with three stones the same size as the earrings. Her dress had a pale purple lining and it was a one-shoulder sheath, something like the negligee that Abbey had given CJ three years ago, except that the slit on the left side only went up to Margaret's knees.

Danny went up to CJ. "Margaret's jewelry?" he asked in a low voice.

"Apparently John found overheard her talking with Donna about borrowing my stuff and asked Carol what was it all about. Then he went out and bought her what she's got on."

"It's very striking."

"Tell me about it. She doesn't have as much stone as the rest of us, but that's a lot of gold on her neck and her wrist."

"Well, I guess he's letting the rest of us know his intentions."

"I'm sure." Then she whispered something in his ear and his eyes lit up.

It was time to get Carol into her dress.

"Danny, avert your eyes for a second," Margaret said. "The bra is built into the dress, so she's naked up top."

"Can I peek now?"

"Nothing much to see," Carol laughed.

When he opened his eyes, Carol's back was toward him and CJ was pulling on some strings while Ginger and Margaret were holding the two sides of the back of the ivory satin strapless dress against her. Then CJ looped the strings around each other and Bonnie put her fingers on the half-knot while CJ tied them into a big bow. It looked for all the world as if they were fastening a sneaker on her back.

"Should I double over the loops?" CJ asked.

"I don't think so." Apparently, Donna was supervising. "It might confuse the poor man." Carol's mom and Cousin Elsie looked up from their champagne and giggled.

"So all David has to do is pull - ", Danny stated.

"Yep, Carol said. "When Michaela and Sully got married on '_Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman'_, her dress was like this and when he pulled on the laces and separated the back, I thought it was so romantic."

"A lot easier than 57 tiny little buttons with loops," Danny glared at CJ.

"You enjoyed it. Abbey told me she told you about the zipper, so you had options."

"At first, poor Jean-Luc thought mine were snaps and he pulled about ten of them off the dress before he realized," Bonnie giggled. "He was so-o-o apologetic!"

"I wasn't about to give Josh anything more complicated than a zipper. I even thought about Velcro but the dressmaker couldn't get it to work."

"They took the time to take off the dress?" Ginger asked.

CJ asked Carol's mom if she wanted to help with the veil and the two of them fastened the tiara in place.

The intercom in the room buzzed and CJ answered it.

"I have one extremely nervous groom back here with me," Paul said. "Do we have an ETA on the mother of the bride?"

CJ relayed the information and the two older women left the dressing room. The five attendants checked Carol for any final adjustments, smoothing the slightly flared skirt, adjusting David's mother's pearls, and then helping her with the elbow-length gloves, making sure that the slit ring finger on the left hand was properly opened.

After last minute hugs and kisses for the bride, final checks of their own appearances, and a lapel smoothing for Danny, they left Carol to Danny's devices.

The opening bars of Pachibel's _Canon_ could be heard through the door. The ushers, Bonnie, Donna, Ginger, Margaret, and CJ would be beginning their procession down the aisle.

"In a few minutes, they'll be playing our song."

"Yeah."

Danny looked over at Carol. The feeling he had since yesterday was still there. Something was wrong, more than pre-wedding jitters. David gave all the appearances of being a total standup guy, head over heels in love with his fiancée, but if Carol wasn't sure about this marriage – he slipped into his role as surrogate father/big brother.

"Carol, what's wrong? Honey, if it isn't right, if you have any doubts about David, I'll go out there and stop this. It's no problem."

"Danny, I want this! I love David very much and I want to spend the rest of my life with him."

"But something's going on, I can sense it."

She was about to deny it but realized that he read her only too well. Once an investigative reporter, always an investigative reporter. She took a deep breath.

"Danny, can you keep a secret? Even from CJ? Nobody knows; I mean, David knows, of course - " At the sight of her smile, he knew that whatever the issue was, it wasn't David.

"Just between you and me, kiddo."

She sighed. "We just figured it out three days ago, did the test. My mother, you've seen how she is, so, so- "

"Traditional? Uptight? Unless she's been drinking champagne?"

"Yeah. Well, in eight months, I'm going to give her a premature grandchild."

"Honey, that's wonderful! Or, maybe you and David don't want - ?"

"Oh, no, we want the baby. I mean, David, I had to threaten a celibate honeymoon to keep him from putting a half-page announcement in the _Post_." Danny smiled, remembering how primal male he felt when he and CJ had learned about the twins and then Paddy, the way Josh, Jean-Luc, and Rick reacted when "the Valentine caper" was mentioned, and, of course, Josh's over-the-topness about the triplets. "But my mother will make me feel so mortified. She'll go on and on about how everyone will say I had to get married."

"Carol, when did you and David get engaged?"

"Last August".

"Nine months ago. And when did you set this date?"

"At that time."

"So God chose to play a bit with time; that's His prerogative, he's God. Your wedding and your baby are in God's hands, in God's time."

"Thank you, Danny, and thank you for doing this for me."

"Carol, **I'm** the one who needs to thank **you**. CJ and I may never have a little girl; I may never get the chance to do this again. Thank you for letting me have the experience.

The music stopped and the church's wedding coordinator knocked on the door.

He bent down to kiss her cheek, and then gently lowered the blusher veil over her face and shoulders. "Let's go make an honest woman out of you. And only you, David, and I will know that there will be four pregnant women at the altar instead of three."

_Later that day._

"I'm too old, CJ! I've got to sit!" Danny led his wife away from the dance floor. The DJ was doing a fast oldies set. They made it through "Shout", "Satisfaction", "Get off of My Cloud", "Rock Around the Clock", "Joy to the World", and "Surfing USA", but he gave out at the beginning of "The Bird".

They sat down with Jed and Abbey Bartlet.

"So Nancy's got a boyfriend named Jesse?" Jed asked.

"Jésus Ignaçio Muñoz, DDS. Frank's nephew," Danny answered. "They seem to have hit it off quite well. For a while, we were afraid that her father would guilt her into staying single, but I guess Mr. Estevez was just waiting for a nice Hispanic guy to take care of her. He's a bit old-fashioned, and CJ will tell you, coming from me, that says something."

"Dentist!" Abbey's eyes lit up. "Good money, good hours. Now tell me more about this friend of yours who's dancing with Liz. All I know is that he's a widower, went to Dartmouth. They **do** look good together."

"He's a Protestant minister, Abbey!" Jed exclaimed.

"She could do a lot worse, Jethro! CJ, do you think he might be interested in marrying again?"

Danny laughed and CJ said, "Abbey, I've already gotten in enough hot water over that. Last night I promised him to not 'sin' anymore, I got absolution and I did my penance; I'm not about to get into it again."

"Penance?" Danny asked in a whisper.

"We'll discuss it later."

The set ended and Paul and Liz joined them at the table.

"And now a set of slow oldies," announced the DJ, starting the first selection.

The words were addressed to the man, but the eyes were focused on the woman. "Danny, may I dance with your wife?"

"Of course," came the answer, but she was already up and they were moving to the floor. Liz grabbed her father's hand; Danny turned to Abbey and asked her to join him on the dance floor.

CJ and Paul moved in unison to the song to which they danced the night she accepted his pin, each lost in the memories the song evoked. The silence between them was broken only once, when he softly sang along with the chorus.

"_You're once, twice, three times a lady." _

As the Commodores' song ended and Neil Diamond's "September Morn" started, Danny saw Paul reach into his breast pocket and hand something to CJ. She looked at it, then up at him. He talked for a while, then she reached up, stroked his cheek, and wiped her fingers against her eyes.

After Frankie Valli's "Can't Take My Eyes off of You", Elvis' "It's Now or Never", Eric Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight", and Rod Stewart's "You're in my Heart", the DJ played "Hungry Eyes" and Paul began to feel a bit too emotionally involved with the lyrics of the songs being played. They were all hits from the time they were together. He danced CJ over to Danny and Abbey.

"I've never danced with a First Lady. Would you mind taking your wife off my hands?" He danced away with Abbey, extremely happy with his decision as the next song, Exile's "Kiss You All Over", started playing.

Danny held CJ close , "dirty dancing" style, singing along with the lyrics. "_Stay with me, lay with me, holding me, loving me, baby"._ The words she had whispered in his ear in the dressing room ("I'm back in service, by the way.") made him wish they could leave the reception early, but as matron of honor, CJ had to be there until Carol left, at least.

When he pulled back, Danny could see a few tears in his wife's eyes. "CJ, sweetheart?"

She took one of her arms from around his neck and held a piece of paper in front of him. It was a check from Paul made out to "Road to a Better World"; the amount was $2,528.64.

He made the obvious comment about the odd amount.

"Right after we got pinned, he started saving to buy me a ring, planned to ask me senior year, two years to the day that we - . Twenty dollars a week for a little over a year, working a few extra hours a month, giving up beer and cokes during the week, eating more tuna fish. He said that when we broke up, he couldn't bring himself to spend it on anything, so he just let it sit there, accruing interest. Even when he found Alicia, he said it would have been like actually giving her the ring he had bought for me. Eventually, he decided he would use it for his daughter's wedding, but then Alicia died and her college sorority set up a fund for that. Yesterday, when he, ah, talked, to me, he said something and when I looked at him funny, he realized that I had no idea he had been saving, and he suddenly knew what he had to do with the money. What did I ever do to deserve him back then and now have someone as wonderful as you in my life?" She leaned her head on his shoulder.

"You were your wonderful self." He pulled out a handkerchief and wiped at the tears. Elvis' "Love Me Tender" was playing. "I'm glad the two of you got a chance to deal with all of this. Now tell me more about this 'Penance' thing."

Whispering in his ear, she told him of the end of her conversation with Paul the previous night and he told her that he wished that Fr. Luke's penances were as interesting.

Later, when CJ was dancing in the Pony line with Andy, Toby, Ed, Larry, Ainsley, Kate, the entire Bartlet Administration, really, it was Danny's turn to bring the beers and sit down with Paul. "You know, you're quite an act to follow."

"You're the star; I was just the opening act. Oops, I didn't mean - " the man blushed at the unintended double meaning of his statement.

Danny laughed. Then his voice turned serious. "Last fall, when I found the lump in her breast and then they found more - "

"I'm glad I didn't find out about that until it was resolved. After losing Alicia, it's been very hard whenever someone I've cared about, my old roommate, my aunt, had to wait for a report. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."

"No problem. Anyway, after it was over, I got to thinking about my own mortality as well, the thought that I might leave her alone, with the baby."

"That's common. You need to be aware of the possibility, make sure you don't take her, or him, for granted, but you can't dwell on it." Paul easily slipped into minister mode; he had had this discussion many times with many people. This is part of what God wanted him to do: help others accept the awful realization that one day, either they or their spouse would be left without the other, without letting it overwhelm the time, however long or short, they had with each other.

"I'm concerned that if anything were to happen to me – I mean, she's doing great things, may do even greater things in the future, but she needs someone to pull back on the strings if she flies too close to the sun, someone to love her unconditionally whatever the outside world might bring. And my son needs a father as well as a mother, at this age. It's obvious that you and she still have a bond, and it's obvious that you and I are finding a chord between us, so if something were to happen to me, I want you to - "

Paul wasn't going to mouth the platitude that nothing was going to happen to Danny; he knew that sometimes, bad things happen. "Danny, if that were to come to pass, I would definitely counsel her to be open to another love if that's what God intends, but - "

"Paul, if something happens to me, and you are still single, I want **you** to marry her, love her, cherish her, restrain her, raise my son for me."

"Whew. I see." Except that Paul didn't see **that** coming. "Danny, I - "

"I'm just saying - "

"Just saying what?" CJ ran her hands over Danny's head, plopped down on his lap. "Carol and David are about to do the bouquet and garter thing. I told Toby to get up there. I know better than to say anything to you," she looked at Paul, "but be warned, you are now on Abbey Bartlet's radar, and if you think **I** was meddling where I didn't belong -"

Danny's cell rang; it was Frank Muñoz' cell. They could also hear CJ's phone going off in her purse.

"Hey, Frank."

"Danny, it's Diana. Is CJ there with you? I'm trying to get her on my phone in case she isn't."

"What's the matter, Diana, what's wrong with Paddy?"

CJ, in the midst of getting her phone out of her purse, jerked up her head at those words.

"Nothing's wrong. Oh, good, Frank's got the camcorder going. Where's CJ?"

"She's here." He listened for a second. "What! Let me put you on speaker and say that again."

Diana was a mother four times over and she was pretty sure she had the signs down pat, especially given her experience with Maggie just last week. "I think your son is about to take his first steps solo. I'm going to send pictures and Frank is taping. Can you answer CJ's phone? I'll try to talk on one and snap with the other."

They could hear Frank in the background. "That's a boy! Go on, go to _Tia _Diana".

Then from Carmen, "Here, Mom, let me work the camera."

"Come on, sweetie," Diana urged, then a big "Hooray for Paddy!" could be heard. CJ's phone showed their son standing right foot in front of left, not holding on to anything, then a shot with left foot first, then another right first, and a fourth with left first, and finally falling into Diana's outstretched arms.

CJ was crying and laughing; Danny was grinning from ear to ear. Frank's voice came over the speaker. "I got it all on video, guys.

"Thanks, Frank, Diana. I guess we knew we were taking a chance, coming here for three days at this stage." Danny hugged CJ with one arm.

"My baby's walking!" CJ exclaimed.

"You're in the deep end of parenthood now," Paul laughed. "I think I should say my good-byes to the bride and groom and my good-nights to everyone else."

"Okay. We'll be by tomorrow morning. I'm looking forward to hearing you preach."

He shook Danny's hand, kissed her cheek, and headed to the newlyweds.

_Sunday May 16, 2010_

Paul stood on the steps of the old church, in full ministerial robes and stole, shaking hands with the exiting congregation, introducing them to the handsome young man and the beautiful young woman standing with him.

CJ and Danny came up as the rest of the throng melted away.

"I'm so glad you came!" the minister beamed, and put an arm around the two young people. "This is Derrick and this is Deborah, just home from school. Kids, I'd like you to meet - "

"CJ Cregg and Danny Concannon!" The young man took the hand that CJ had already extended.

She had forgotten that he was studying Political Science at Oberlin and would probably know about her, know who she was.

He was the image of his father at that age. Looking at him, she was, for several seconds, carried back to that day in the Berkeley book store, when she juggled her books and the tall, handsome guy in front of her, who just happened to be there because the clerk at the Law School book store told him that the sold-out text he needed for his "History of Western Jurisprudence" course was also used in one of the Poli Sci graduate school courses and he might get a copy at the general campus bookstore, grabbed the two she dropped, quietly but insistently took most of her other books from her, and then thoroughly charmed her, first into coffee, then into a dance, and finally into his heart and his bed.

"Dad, how do you know - "

"Your father and I met at Berkeley, when he was in Law School," CJ explained.

"Mr. and Mrs. Concannon are in town for the wedding yesterday afternoon and a graduation at Georgetown Law later today," Paul elaborated.

They talked for a bit more. Deborah, who had Paul's eyes and smile, said she was honored to meet Danny, that she was thinking of trying for Columbia's Graduate School of Journalism when she finished at Miami of Ohio.

After a bit, Danny cracked a joke about needing to get over to Georgetown for the 12:30 PM Mass and "wiping out the heresy to which we've been exposed."

"Unless things have changed lately, you'll hear just about the same thing. I think only the first reading, the Acts, is different in your Lectionary. Two sermons in a row on the same scriptures."

"But it'll be shorter. We filthy Papists aren't used to sitting still for more than 15 minutes of talking. We need to get all our liturgical calisthenics in."

"Well, enjoy the graduation, congratulate Charlie again for me, and have a safe trip back home tomorrow. Keep in touch."

"Enjoy your summer with your kids. Come out and see us anytime," Danny replied. "And about what I said last night: I meant it."

"All I can promise, Danny, is that if the situation arises, I will pray over what you asked."

"What was that all about?" CJ asked.

"I'll tell you later."

_Later that day._

"Charles Young."

There was a huge amount of applause, cheering, even some whistling, as Sam placed the purple-lined hood, indicative of the Juris Doctor degree, over Charlie's head and draped it on the purple-trimmed robe.

Josh, one of the whistlers, thought back to that day almost twelve years ago when the nervous, shy young lad, a boy, really, kept insisting that he was only there for the messenger job. He thought of a line he heard long ago, while attending some Episcopalian service. _"And the child grew in wisdom, age, and grace."_ That certainly described what had transpired with Charlie. Over that time he had developed into a sauve and debonair man, had raised a sister, had won, lost, and then won again the heart of Zoey Patricia Bartlet. In six weeks, he would become son-in-law to the man who already considered him to be son.

Josh looked over at Zoey, who was desperately trying to forget, for a few hours, the trauma associated with this part of May, with this place, to share the joy of her husband-to-be. Josh understood more than anyone else how hard this was for Zoey and had been keeping an eye on her. She sat there, her mother's arm around her, her father's hand on hers. While the rest of them were looking forward to the big dinner that Jed and Abbey were hosting for Charlie this evening, he knew that Zoey was counting the hours until she could leave.

Josh had talked with Charlie about it a month ago and was pleased that Charlie totally understood how Zoey felt and was not "playing the martyr" about her not being there for the pre-graduation parties last week. "I just want to be able to start our grown-up lives together, Josh. In July, I'm going to say 'In good times and in bad' and I mean those words already. We've waited so long. I want what everyone else has; so does she. We'll figure it out."

And Josh knew that they would.

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My external characters are patterned on people I know (generally mixes, not just one person) and I have an idea of how most of them look. Some of them look like famous, well-known people. For example, I've already mentioned that Steve, one of CJ and Danny's gay neighbors, looks like Billy Dee Williams did in "The Empire Strikes Back" and that Linda Tallchief, Paddy's pediatrician, looks like Cher "with about 10 or 15 more pounds and a lot less makeup", to quote Frank Munoz, who, by the way, looks like Esai Morales. FWIW, Jessica looks like Tess Harper when she played Fairlight Spencer on "Christy".

When imagining the "current" Paul, I always thought of the recently deceased Ed Bradley, when he first started working for "60 Minutes". With his death last week, the Washington Post published a series of photos, and one of them captured "2010 Paul" perfectly. I have the link if anyone wants to see. Take away the gray, the age lines, and the beard and you have "Paul of the early 80's")


	43. The Third Birch Tree on the Left

**The Third Birch Tree on the Left**

CJ/Danny, Josh/Donna, Charlie/Zoey, just about everyone else in the West Wing

Adult/Mature

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Many thanks to Gemma for letting me borrow her name.

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

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_July 3, 2010 Manchester, NH_

"Good afternoon, madam. May I say that you look very beautiful today?"

"Well, aren't you just the kindest man? Thank you."

"You're welcome. Friend of the bride or friend of the groom?"

"Friend of both; may I sit with those two blond-haired women about a quarter of the way back from the front on the groom's side?"

"I'm sure they would like the company." He offered her his right arm and escorted her to the pew. "Perhaps you would like to come to my hotel room tonight?"

Five pews back, the middle-aged African-American woman in the purple ensemble sputtered again to her companion in the red ensemble.

"Lydia, I never! First, he kisses the blondes on the cheek and now he gave that tall light brunette a kiss that belongs in a bedroom and propositioned her! Where did Charles find these ushers?"

A third woman, clothed in a peacock blue outfit, leaned toward them from the pew immediately behind.

"That's his wife that he just kissed. Don't you recognize her? That's the one that was President Bartlet's press secretary and then she took over the whole mess when that other man had his heart attack. And the one blonde, the one that's pregnant clear into Vermont, she's the wife of the best man, she's Mrs. Santos' assistant. The other one also worked in the White House. They're all good friends. I declare, Esther, you need to A - start reading something else besides your Bible and B - get a romantic bone in your body!"

Most of the "West Wing gang" was sitting on Charlie's side of the church. The Bartlet's had invited many "have to" guests. Charlie did have his grandparents, some neighbors and friends, a few aunts, and some fellow parishioners who made the trip for his wedding, but there was definitely more room on his side. Plus, with Josh, Danny, Will, Toby, Ed, and Larry in the wedding party, it made sense for their companions to sit on the groom's side.

CJ exchanged a quick kiss with Kate Harper, promising to catch up more at the reception. Kate had come directly from Logan and hadn't yet been to the inn that the group had taken over for the weekend. Between Charlie's grandparents, the Bartlet relatives, and President and Mrs. Santos (because the Secret Service had decided that with the level of protection already there, it was the best place for them to stay) the Bartlet farm was booked solid. CJ and Danny would spend Monday and Tuesday night with the former first couple, as would Ellie and Vic. The Bartlet's had invited Bonnie, Jean-Luc, Nancy, and Jesse to stay with them also. However, Bonnie wanted to spend more time with Ginger. Nancy knew that Jed Bartlet would be uncomfortable with giving Jesse and her a shared bedroom and decided to go to New Jersey with Ginger, Rick, Bonnie, and Jean-Luc on Monday. The Washington crowd would be traveling back to DC on Monday also, but everyone, including the Bartlet's, would be in Cape May by next Friday.

Everyone else had arrived the previous afternoon or earlier. After the wedding rehearsal, the rehearsal dinner was held at the "West Wing clique" inn. Pictures were passed around of the latest modifications to the "Lyman Place" in Virginia, Bonnie and Jean-Luc's place in San Luis Obispo, the latest pictures of Noah, Paddy, and Celia, of course, and pictures from the Pulitzer ceremony where Danny received his third award, the one for Leo's biography.

"So how many more are you going to get, Danny?" John Hoynes asked, his arm casually draped over Margaret's shoulder.

"I hope he gets at least one more," CJ answered for her husband. "I'd like to be able to see him get at least one of them!"

"You weren't able to go this time?" Margaret asked. "When we talked at Carol and David's wedding, you said you would be back for the ceremony at the end of the month."

"The day we were scheduled to fly out, Paddy got a really bad cold and infection, he was running a 101 degree fever; I didn't want to leave him. I barely managed to persuade Danny to go."

CJ felt vaguely uncomfortable around Margaret. In May, just before they left the dinner that the Bartlet's held to celebrate Charlie's graduation, John had quietly told her that he intended to let Margaret know about "that night". "For the same reason I told you to tell Danny," he explained. "God forbid, if it should come out, I don't want her blindsided."

Logically, she understood it, agreed with it. Logically, she knew she didn't owe Margaret anything by way of excuse, reason, or apology. But she felt as if she were walking on eggshells around Margaret, was hesitant to talk with her.

"It was the first, and so far, only time," Danny rapped on the wooden table, "he's been sick. We were both out of our minds. As to your question, John, I take whatever they give me, but I'm not writing for the prizes, I'm writing because I think that there are stories that need to be told."

"And for the money," CJ added. "Can you imagine how much it will cost to put these babies through school in another twenty years?"

"Shoulda thought of that before you seduced me." Danny hugged the waist of the woman sitting on his lap.

"I don't even want to think about it," David answered.

"Well, here's hoping you get one for Admiral Fitzwallace's book," Ellie said. "It's coming out in August, right? I forget the title?"

"It's _'Beat That with a Stick'_. Sam suggested it; apparently Fitz was fond of the expression," Danny answered her.

John asked, "Will you two be coming down to Washington after New Jersey?"

"No, we're off to Ireland for a couple of weeks, to see my sister and her family, and then it's back to Santa Monica. Besides, all of you have a lot to do with the convention coming up in August."

"Nothing like what we had four years ago," Will said. "This will be a victory lap and a pep rally."

"Okay, cats and kittens, I need all the guys in our suite." Josh came up to the group. "Zoey and her parents just left. It's time for us to give Charlie his last night of freedom!"

"Are you just kicking out Donna and Noah on the patio?" CJ asked. "I don't think that's very nice thing to do to a pregnant lady."

"They're going to be in with me," Debbie told the group. "I have two beds in my room."

"Actually, I'm looking forward to being in a bed by myself. Winken, Blinken, and Nod have been acting up this evening. Just remember, Joshua, I expect to come in tomorrow morning to nothing worse than what your place was like back when I was the power behind your throne."

Danny urged CJ to stand up, and then nudged her down into his seat. As he bent over to kiss her, his action was repeated by Rick (with Ginger), David (with Carol), Vic (with Ellie), and John (with Margaret). Each of the men whispered pretty much the same thing into the ear of the woman he was kissing. "I won't stay too late, and if Josh was dumb enough to get a stripper, I'll be leaving right away."

About four hours later, Danny let himself into the room where his wife and son were sleeping. He checked on the baby, went into the bathroom, and stripped down to his boxers.

As he got into bed, CJ stirred, turned around, and sleepily lifted her face for a kiss. "So how was it?"

"Not bad. Some football films, a keg, some wings. Josh did get a porno, but it was like watching one of those old marijuana scare films. We treated it like camp, pointing out how impossible everything was."

"So it didn't turn you on?"

"Actually, it turned me off."

"Oh."

Was that disappointment he heard in her voice? "But I'm sure that you could make me do a one-eighty on that rather quickly." He began to kiss her neck.

As it turned out, he was right.

-----

After greeting Kate, CJ turned to Donna and asked if she was doing okay. Donna and Josh weren't at breakfast and CJ was worried about her.

"Pretty much," she answered. Then she giggled and whispered, "We were otherwise occupied. I think the horniness is in direct proportion to the number of kids. I've got poor Josh just about all worn out!"

"You know, when I was carrying Paddy, I thought it was because I was nervous after losing the twins, but you may be right."

"Oh, CJ, I'm sorry, I didn't think! I didn't mean to bring up sad memories." Donna reached over and gave her friend a quick hug."

"It's okay. I mean, I'll always miss them, but things are okay. Oops, my phone is vibrating." She reached into her pocket, looked at the face of the phone and started reading. "G-R-L6#8-1-5-B-U-T-F-L M-R-G-N - 1- D-R-F-L O-N-T-P-W-R-L-D S-A-M".

"Omagod!" Donna exclaimed. And she and CJ started spreading the word. Sam and Morgan had just had a little girl, 6 pounds, 8 ounces, 15 inches long. According to Sam, she was beautiful, Morgan was wonderful, and he was on top of the world. When Larry came down to seat Ginger and Rick in the pew behind them, they asked him to get the word to the others.

Danny came to their pew again, this time with Carol on his arm, David following behind. After the two of them slid past CJ and Donna, Danny leaned down and kissed CJ again.

"Are you going to do this every time you take someone to their place, Mr. One A and One A Plus?"

Danny had definitely gotten into the studying groove this last semester. He had learned his grades right after they returned from Carol's wedding, but it was only last week that they learned that because of his grades, he was being given a grant to cover tuition for six semester hours for the upcoming academic year. They had celebrated by booking first class seats not only for this part of their trip east, but also for their flights down to Philadelphia, over to Ireland, and then back to California.

"Sounds like a plan. Well, would you look at **that!**"

He stepped aside as Will came down the aisle with Helen Santos on his arm, followed by the President, and then by one of Charlie's law school buddies escorting Margaret, with John Hoynes bringing up the rear.

The party stopped at the fourth pew on the bride's side. The former Vice-president entered first, followed by Margaret and then Matt Santos. Helen was on the aisle.

Donna leaned over CJ so Danny could hear. "The President and Josh have come to think the world of Margaret. About time, in my book."

A few minutes later, Danny brought Bonnie and Jean-Luc to sit with Ginger and Rick (taking the time to kiss CJ one more time), Toby escorted Andi and his children to sit behind Ginger, and Ed and Larry each brought their wives (and Ed's kids) to the pew to join Andi.

It was almost time for everything to start when Nancy and Jesse Muñoz joined Ginger, Rick, Carol, and David in the pew behind CJ. Ginger's good-natured teasing was apparently close to the mark, given the lovely shade of pink that suffused Nancy's face, shoulders, and upper arms.

Liz, Vic, and Gus were seated by Toby and a hush overtook the guests.

As _"Canon in D"_ was played on a harp, Will escorted Charlie's grandmother to the front pew and Danny performed the same courtesy for Abbey Bartlet.

Charlie Young stood at the altar waiting for the procession to begin.

Josh Lyman leaned over and whispered into his ear. "It took you over ten years, but you got the girl out of the Bartlet castle dungeon."

There was no question as to who would be his best man. True, Danny Concannon helped, with his "sage dating advice" about being there, hassle-free for her, and he also helped on that one point where Josh had no first-hand experience.

But, in the end, it was Josh. Josh, who introduced them over a steaming pot of chili that wintry night in 1999. Josh, who, on that fateful day some seven years ago, convinced him to honor a promise made 3 and a half years earlier, encouraged him to find the Paeonia Japonica in the Arboretum, who accompanied him there as he met with and kissed her, a kiss that could have well been (but wasn't, thank God) one of the last kisses she would ever give anyone. Josh, who stood by him in that awful time when Wes told him that her disappearance wasn't a schoolgirl prank but a kidnapping following the murder of a Treasury agent.

The orchestra switched to Handel's _"Arrival of the Queen of Sheba"_ and the ushers – guys from the National Black Law Students Association, Toby, Ed, and Larry came down the aisle two by two, followed by the groomsmen – Danny, of course, Will, and two more guys from NBLSA. He wished that Anthony, the "little brother" he took on after Simon Donovan's death could have been there, but Anthony and the rest of the _Endeavour_ crew were racing on their way to the space station to begin a new tour of duty in the heavens.

He was so proud of Anthony. Simon had laid the foundation, and Charlie and CJ had been there for support, but it was Anthony that took the ball and ran with it, bringing up his grades, earning an Air Force ROTC scholarship to Howard and Detachment 130, known as the "Screaming Eagles"; who was now a major in the United States Air Force and a valued NASA astronaut.

And next spring, please God, Charlie would be in a similar tuxedo, walking down a church aisle with his Deanna on his arm, to give her hand to the man in the Air Force dress uniform.

Now came the four bridesmaids, to the Intermezzo from "_Carmen", _("Carmen?" the former President asked his daughter. "Yes, Daddy, 'Carmen'. It's pretty." "But the story" "I don't care, it's pretty."), two of Zoey's friends, her sister Ellie, and her niece Annie. Liz demurred on being a bridesmaid, saying it would be too "weird" for both mother and daughter to fill that role. Then came Deanna as maid of honor, all grown up, about to enter her final year of veterinary school at Tufts, and looking forward to being a bride herself.

Then, the organ sounded the opening bars of Clarke's "_Prince of Denmark_" and Josh leaned over again to whisper in his ear. "Get ready for the most beautiful sight you've ever seen; it will only be surpassed when you see her for the first time with your child in her arms."

"You trying to tell me something Zoey should be telling me?"

And then the doors opened and there she was, on her father's left arm because he needed the cane in his right.

Zoey Patricia Bartlet stared at him through the veil that covered her face but could not hide the glow of her skin, the joy in her eyes.

"_I should call you Zoey?"_

"_If I can call you Charlie."_

She passed the pew with Debbie Fiderer. He wondered why Debbie wasn't sitting further up front with the rest of the West Wing crowd. If Debbie hadn't taken notice of him, given his paperwork to Josh –

"_No, I meant 'cause it would be cool to go out or something."_

"_I'm sorry, you mean, with me?"_

She passed the pew with Lord Marbury. The man was certainly an enigma. On the one hand, he was one of the most urbane, most intelligent men Charlie had ever met, excluding his father-in-law-to-be, of course. On the other, he could be the most outrageous fop in the world. Or maybe that was mostly an act, a cover.

"_It's hard to tell the difference between those times and the others."_

"_Doesn't that suck for you?"_

She passed the pew with Gina Toscano. The shooting had done a number on Gina and she had moved into ATF for a while. While she was there, Gina met and married a really great guy and had eventually taken a desk job when she had her first child.

"_Charlie, you're taking extra protection, right?"_

"_Hey, Leo, I - "_

"_Secret Service protection, Charlie, but thanks for loading me up with that image!" _

She passed the pew that held Mallory and her husband. Like everyone else, he missed Leo just about every day. He was glad that Danny's book had done so well, that he had been honored for it, that more people would know about the greatness that was Leo Thomas McGarry.

"_Stop pursuing me."_

"_Respectfully, no."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because I'm in love with you. And that's the way it goes."_

She passed the pew that held CJ, Donna, and Kate. Danny may have had a shorter wait, but at least Charlie had access to Zoey's heart and other parts periodically throughout the past eleven years. He didn't know if he could have held out, and held on, the way Danny did for so long. And CJ, too. She knew what she felt, he was sure, and she stuck to her principles, at the risk of not having happiness in her life. He had really come to respect and admire CJ while working as one of her assistants when she was Chief of Staff. Maybe after this clerkship, he might want to work with her again, if there was a place for him in "Road to a Better World."

"_And I'm confused about you."_

"_Well, I can't advise you on that."_

She passed the pew that held Helen and Matt Santos, Margaret and John Hoynes. He wondered if Margaret and the former Vice-president would ever marry. He was sure that if it were up to the man, they already would be.

"_I should go to the party."_

"_Yeah."_

She passed the pew with his grandparents. If only he hadn't asked his mother to switch shifts, she could be sitting there. If only he had not pushed Zoey away, pushed her to go to that club. But he had his pride, or at least that's what he thought at the time, and he had his limits. At the time, he thought that if Zoey had stayed with him that night, and if they ended up in bed (and at the time he was sure they would), and then she went ahead and traveled to France with Jean-Paul the next day, he wouldn't be able to look himself in the mirror. He knew, even then, that he wanted to be more than a "friend with privileges" to her. It would be all or nothing. And, praise God, in a few minutes, it would be "all".

"_Sir, would I have your blessing?"_

She passed the pew that held her mother. Charlie always felt that Zoey's mother had been on his side, though not necessarily on the side of marriage. He sometimes got the impression that she would have been perfectly happy if the two of them had just decided to shack up for a few years.

Then the President (and, for him, there was only one), shook his hand, reached under her veil, kissed her cheek, put her hand in his, and stepped back to the first pew to join his wife.

Danny Concannon approached the lectern and began to read the Hebrew poem to the worthy wife from Proverbs. Danny occasionally glanced over to Zoey and him, but his focus always went back to that pew about seven or eight back on the groom's side where CJ was sitting. It was obvious who Danny thought was the subject of the reading.

If he could have had a second best man, it would have been Danny. In fact, since Josh wasn't a baptized Christian, it would be Danny signing the official church register as witness.

He remembered back to that day about 2 weeks after he followed Danny's advice and appeared at her dorm room door with flowers, popcorn, and videos.

He ran into Josh in the Mural Room.

"Hey, Josh, you got a minute?"

"Sure, whatcha need?"

"Well, it's kind of private - "

"So shut the door."

"It's Zoey. She's says she's ready to take our relationship to the next level, as it were, and -- Josh, have you ever been with a girl for the first time?"

"Charlie, everyone who's been with a girl had to have a first time."

"No, I mean with a girl when it was **her** first time. I mean there was Shaneequa Wilson, but she slept with a different guy every time she changed her underwear. And then I spent some time with another girl, but she was also experienced, though not nearly as much as Shaneequa. But I've never been with a girl who hadn't ever been with a guy, I was wondering what I need to know or do?"

Josh realized that in his almost 25 years of sexual experience, he, too, had never been someone's "first". "Charlie, I'm afraid all I know about that is what I've read in books. Maybe Sam can help us."

When they reached the Communications area, Sam wasn't in his office.

"There's Toby," Josh started.

"No way am I asking Toby. That would be like asking Leo, or the President," Charlie shuddered. Josh had the same reaction to the thought.

"I guess you're right. Hey, here's Danny."

"Josh, Danny's a reporter! I can't ask him!"

"But you told me he gave you good advice a couple of weeks ago. Danny, will you go off the record?"

Danny looked at Josh's face. This was serious. "Sure. What do you - "?

"I mean, really, really, off the record?"

Quietly, almost hurt at the implication. "Yes."

"Okay, let's go to my office."

Shutting the door, Josh began to explain. "Zoey wants to become intimate, she's never, and Charlie -".

Danny interrupted him, speaking directly to Charlie.

"Is this what you want also, Charlie? Not just the fact of having sex, but dealing with all the special issues, knowing that her agents would be right outside the door, that sort of thing?"

"Yes, I think I do, but I don't know how to go about, I mean, like I told Josh, I've been with two girls before, but never with a - , I was wondering -."

"You're wondering if I've I ever made love with a virgin and if I have, is there any advice I can give you?"

"Well -," the young man stammered and blushed.

"It's the proper term, Charlie, it's not something dirty. The answer is yes. Okay, I'm assuming that since this would be her first experience, that you would be using a condom for contraception as well as for STDs?"

"Well, yeah, I guess," Charlie spoke hesitantly.

"Then discuss the timing with her. Make sure it's either right before or right after her period."

"Danny!" both Charlie and Josh exclaimed.

"Look, man, you're talking about becoming as close as possible with another human being. This is a normal bodily function. Your actions could forever alter her life, your life, and a possible child's life. If you do continue to have a sexual relationship with Zoey, there will be times when the two of you will have to deal with things like her period, cramps, or having the runs, or the first time one of you farts in bed. If you aren't ready to accept the fact that the two of you are functioning human beings with all that that entails, then maybe you aren't ready for this step."

Danny told him to expect her to be nervous, skittish. He would be invading her body, be in a place where nothing, except maybe a tampon or a doctor's instrument had been before. He had to be prepared to stop on a dime, as it were. He had to be prepared for the possibility that he might cause her pain, but also be prepared for the possibility that there would be no difficulty – the same doctor's instrument or tampon, the horseback riding she had been doing since a child, the unlikely but always possible case that there had been a "weird uncle" in her past. In either event, he had to act as if it were the most natural thing in the world, because it is. He asked Charlie how intimate they had already been, did Charlie understand female genitalia and arousal? He suggested that Charlie get a "how to" book and volunteered to purchase it when Charlie worried about being seen while buying it. He answered questions Charlie had after reading it.

And when that night came, there had been a little fumbling, but, all in all, things had gone okay, due to the advice of the man who was now leaving the lectern, replaced by the cantor who would sing Psalm 128.

Okay, Charlie thought, Liz was finishing the second reading, the classic chapter 13 from St. Paul's first letter to the church at Corinth. Just the reading about the wedding feast at Cana, a short, he hoped, sermon, and then the ceremony. He looked over at Zoey. She smiled at him through her veil. He winked back at her.

Josh nudged him. What? It's showtime; time to stand and face the congregation. Jed donned his deacon's stole and came to the altar facing them.

"Charles William, will you take Zoey Patricia, here present, for your lawful wedded wife according to the rite of our Holy Mother, the Catholic Church?"

"I will."

"Zoey Patricia, will you take Charles William, here present, for your lawful wedded husband according to the rite of our Holy Mother, the Catholic Church?"

"I will."

"I, Charles William, take you, Zoey Patricia, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life."

"I, Zoey Patricia, take you, Charles William, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life."

Another nudge from Josh. Oh, take the ring.

"Zoey, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

"Charlie, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

"By the power invested in me by the Holy Catholic Church and the state of New Hampshire, I now declare you to be husband and wife."

Eleven years. Through hate mail, a shooting, Jean-Paul, a kidnapping, personal doubt. They made it. He lifted the veil from her face. She smiled up to him. He lowered his mouth to hers.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, my daughter and my new son!

Just a prayer and a blessing, then "Spring" from Vivaldi's _"Four Seasons_" started and it was time to leave the church; they were now Zoey and Charlie Bartlet-Young.

A few hours later, everyone was waving as the helicopter carrying Charlie and Zoey left the field next to the reception hall. They would be flying down to Newport, where they would spend a couple of days in a guest cottage on the grounds of Rick's family's place on Cliff Walk. It was a present from Rick's mom, Arnie, Ginger, and Rick. Afterward, they would take a cruise to Bermuda before returning to the Boston area and beginning their life as a married couple.

CJ was sitting with Donna, Josh, Toby, Debbie, Ed, and his wife. They were reminiscing about Charlie and Zoey, trying to remember when they each had come to the conclusion that there really was "something" between the two of them. Josh claimed that he knew the night of the "Cassandra Caper" in Georgetown. Donna said that was only puppy love. It was when Zoey returned from New Hampshire for that early Christmas dinner the winter after the kidnapping that the relationship began to "mature".

"Ah, the prodigal returns!" CJ exclaimed as she spied Danny returning to the group. Andi was with him.

"Everyone's okay?" she asked as he grabbed her hands, pulled her from the seat, plopped down in it himself, and pulled her onto his lap.

"Paddy's out like a light," he kissed her hair lightly. "Noah woke up, took a bottle, and went right back to sleep," he assured Donna.

"Huck, Molly, and Ed's crew are watching videos. The babysitter is knitting a scarf that is long enough for Goliath," Andi added, sitting on the footrest that Toby obligingly had freed up.

"So when did each of you know that Charlie and Zoey were serious?" Donna asked Andi and Danny.

"A few weeks before Rosslyn," Danny said, and wouldn't explain any further. Andi said she wasn't sure, but it was sometime after the kidnapping.

Right then, Donna's phone rang.

"Hey, guys, it's Sam! Hi there, Daddy! So tell us everything!" Pause. "Oh, that's beautiful!"

She put a hand over the mouthpiece. "The baby's name is Gemma Nicole, after Morgan's grandmother for the first name, Nicole because it had a good rhythm."

And for the next half-hour, everyone had his or her chance to talk with Sam and congratulate him on the birth of his daughter.

"I imagine that Gemma's birth will really help Sam in his bid for reelection?" Ed's wife posed the question.

"Technically, he's running for election, not reelection," Danny answered. "I'm sure it will help, but the outcome is not in any doubt. He's done an amazing job; California is damned lucky to have him."

"Everyone at the DNC wants him campaigning for our candidates," Will added. "He's coming up to Oregon for me in October. I booked him early."

_July 4, 2010 Manchester NH_

CJ hung up the phone.

"I guess Kate's already up and out; there's no answer in her room." CJ and Kate were in charge of arranging the car pool assignments to the Bartlet farm after breakfast.

Danny poked his head out of the bathroom. He was naked and dripping, holding an equally naked and equally dripping Paddy.

"If you want to go down to breakfast and look for her, that's fine. We menfolk can manage ourselves; we'll meet you down there."

"You are sweet." She went over and kissed the both of them. Grabbing her pad, pen, wallet, and key card, she left the room.

On the way to the dining room, she saw Kate leaving a room several doors ahead of her.

"That's strange; I thought she was three doors up from us."

Then an arm reached out, grabbed for Kate, and pulled her back toward the door. A bare-chested Will Bailey poked out his head, kissed the woman, and then shut the door. Kate turned toward CJ.

"Good morning." CJ smiled at the other woman. "It looks as if you had a nice evening."

Kate looked up, blushed, and then smiled. "Yes, I did. Look, I've already showered" another blush "and I'll be changed and at breakfast ten minutes tops."

By the time everyone was through with breakfast and the car pools that CJ and Kate had arranged had taken off for the Bartlet farm, it was noon. President Santos had passed off some of his Independence Day duties in Washington to Vice-president Baker, but he and the First Lady spent the morning at some of the historical sites in Boston before flying back to the capitol for the evening celebrations. However, the West Wing alumni, the Bartlet relatives, and Charlie's family spent the afternoon playing softball, swimming, gossiping, and eating hot dogs, baked beans, and potato salad.

In the evening, there was lobster, clams, and steamed corn. Later, everyone sat around the big bonfire while waiting for the fireworks show that Abbey had arranged

Jed, Josh, and Danny were standing off to the side discussing the intricacies of running for reelection while running the executive branch of the government when suddenly, Jed looked up, yelled "No!" and ran, surprisingly well for a man who needed a cane the day before to walk down the aisle, toward the fire pit. He grabbed Paddy and Noah, who had been toddling into the flames, and pulled them away from the fire. He smacked first Noah, then Paddy on their little behinds. He repeated, "No-o-o!" There was a faint smell of singed hair in the air.

The two little boys looked puzzled at first, then they began to cry just as their fathers reached them and lifted them into their arms.

"I'm sorry for swatting them," Jed apologized. "It was an instinctive, grandfather reaction."

"No need to apologize," Danny answered, checking over his son to make sure that there were no sparks on his clothes or his hair.

"No need," Josh echoed. He looked at his son, propped up on his arm. His hand was bigger than the boy's rear end. Then he looked at the other men. "I just realized that someday I might have to do that for real. I mean, not for running into the street or playing with something dangerous, but that he might do something that demands that I -"

Danny nodded in understanding.

"If and when you do, it will seem like the worst day of your life," the former president told the two of them. "It's a decision you will have to make with your wives as to for what and when."

"Did you?" Danny asked.

"Yes."

"For what, how many times?" Josh wanted to know.

"I'm sorry, that is between Abbey, the individual daughter, and me. I'll just say that it was extremely rare and only on the rear end. You and your wives will need to talk about it, discuss your own experiences and memories, and reach your own decisions."

And with that, the older man walked away, leaving the other two to hold onto their sons while wrestling with their thoughts about the responsibilities of fatherhood.

_July 7, 2010 Cape May, NJ_

They arrived late Wednesday afternoon. Ginger met them as they drove up to the main house.

After the initial round of greetings and hellos, Ginger reached for a basket containing four envelopes.

"When that tropical storm came through over the weekend before swinging out into the Atlantic, some of the guest rooms were damaged. We have to put two couples in the boys' rooms, sharing a bathroom, a couple in Chantelle's room, she has her own bath, and put some of you up on the third floor with three communal baths not attached to any of the rooms. I decided that Bonnie, Donna, and Carol, being pregnant, and the Bartlet's, being old, would get decent guest rooms. Everyone else goes into the lottery. So pick one." She held the basket out to CJ.

"Danny, you pick, I'm not feeling very lucky."

Danny picked out an envelope and opened it. "Bryce's room," he read.

Ginger led them up the staircase, with Danny carrying two of the bags and Cal, the handyman, following with the rest of the luggage. She opened the door and said, "Here we go, it's your home for the next four days."

It was a typical pre-teen boy's room, with the walls covered by sports and rock posters and a school banner. Oh, and a set of bunk beds, the top one set at a right angle to the bottom one.

"Flip ya for the top bunk," CJ said.

"Oh, I definitely want you to have it," Danny said.

"If you want, we could try to take them apart, rearrange the furniture," Ginger offered. "You might have to climb over stuff, especially after we get the crib in here."

"Oh, no," Danny replied, "this will be fun." Both women saw the gleam in his eyes, but CJ was more curious about what was going on in his devious little mind.

"You could volunteer to trade with Nancy and Jesse," Ginger suggested. "They're in the big room on the third floor. It's twin beds, and they're chaperoning all the kids who aren't sleeping with their folks."

"That's just too rich for words. What was their reaction?"

"They were really good sports about it. I offered them Josh and Donna's room until they get here on Thursday night, but they said they didn't want the hassle. Ed and his wife offered to switch, they got one of the two left over "good rooms", but, again Jesse said that fair was fair."

"So, so far, for those of us in the room lottery, who got what and who's left?"

"Nancy and Jesse with the kids, you in Bryce's room, Ed and his wife in a nice room, Will and Kate in Chantelle's room, Andi, Toby, and Debbie on the third floor. Actually, there's one nice room left and then there's Sev's room on the other side of the bath and a room with twin beds on the third floor. So you'll be sharing the bath with either Larry and his wife, with Ellie and Vic, or with Margaret and John."

"Back up, there. Will and Kate? Together?"

"Well, they came in together and we all kind of hemmed and hawed and finally I asked them if they wanted to be together or not. They both kind of blushed and then said if we didn't mind, they'd like to share a room. So there you are. However, Chantelle has two twin beds, so... I had planned to put Kate and Debbie together in there and give Will one of the old servant's rooms on the third floor, but now Debbie's up there and Will is in there with Kate."

"What if Toby and Andi had wanted to be together?"

"Then one of you couples would be trying to share a twin," Ginger laughed. "I almost had Sev write a program to assign all this. I'm just lucky that Mom and Arnie volunteered to move into the guesthouse and let the Bartlet's use their room. Of course, they may have been thinking of their own sanity when they did that. Everything would have been fine if we hadn't lost the six rooms in the south wing. We had thought about moving everything to the Newport place, but we had already hired folks locally, and people had made their travel plans based on being here. Plus, this is more private, more off the beaten path, as it were. Anyway, welcome to Camp Ginger!"

They assured her that everything was fine. At least they were in a room together, not split up between a platform tent and a barn like folks were last year.

Cal came in with the portable crib Ginger had rented for Paddy and then Ginger showed them the jack-and-jill bath they would be sharing with whoever drew Sev's room.

"The doors lock on both sides. I also put two-way radios here and next door in case you forget to unlock the other door when you're done. I'm sorry for the inconvenience."

"Ginger, don't worry about it; we'll deal."

"Let's go downstairs. Bring the baby."

They walked downstairs and toward the back of the house. There was a huge kitchen and a summer porch leading to the outside. Ginger introduced them to Graciella, the cook.

"Just come down any time you want for breakfast," the older woman told them. "I'll be here or on the porch with my TV or my book."

They went out to the summer porch. Celia was in a playpen trying to put blocks in their proper place on a toy. Two young women were sitting on the porch, drinking cokes and reading romance novels.

"This is Megan and this is Stacey; they'll be helping with the littlest ones. There's also Alexis, she's at the dentist. Why don't you just put Paddy in the playpen and I'll show you the beach."

They went out the screen door, walked to the front of the house, and headed down toward the shore.

"That's the guest cottage." She pointed off to the left. "Mom and Arnie are sleeping there this weekend."

As they reached the sand, CJ and Danny could see Bonnie, Jean-Luc, Nancy, and Jesse in the waves, along with Ginger's stepchildren.

"Where's everyone else?"

"Probably at the pool on the other side of the house."

There were two young men sitting on the beach. They stood as Ginger, CJ, and Danny approached them.

"This is Travis and this is Nate." Then she introduced CJ and Danny to the young men.

"They help with the kids and are certified ocean surf lifeguards. There's also Courtney, today's her day off. Mom's main rule regarding the ocean is that she doesn't want kids in the water, except maybe wading right at the shoreline, unless at least one of the three is down here. With the adults, it's your own responsibility. Starting tomorrow, for the weekend, we're going to have two of them down here from 10 in the morning until six in the evening. Also, no kids under 12 without other adults around."

By this time, the swimmers had come to shore and everyone decided to move the party to the pool for a while. The storm had stirred up the waters and they were still cleaning driftwood and debris from the beach.

"Remember to use the sand showers first!" Ginger reminded everyone.

When they got to the pool, they found Ed and his family, Debbie, Andi, Toby, the twins, Rick's mom, and Arnie Vinick. CJ went off to talk with the baby-sitters on the summer porch, to let them know about Paddy's quirks and habits.

Danny asked when the others would be coming. Arnie let them know that Rick was involved in a committee meeting and would hopefully be choppering in later in the evening. The Bartlet's and the Faison's would be arriving Thursday morning. Liz decided to stay in New Hampshire; she was getting ready to move down to Washington to take over for Donna when she went on leave. Larry and his wife would arrive Thursday afternoon. The Lyman's, Carol and David, and Margaret and John Hoynes would arrive late Thursday night.

Dinner that evening was spareribs, coleslaw, sliced tomatoes, and watermelon on the patio. Rick arrived just as they were finishing the meal.

There was team Trivial Pursuit after dinner and a video for the kids. When the youngsters had gone to bed, there were more board games and more swimming in the moonlight.

About 10:00, Danny whispered something to CJ and they stood. "CJ and I would like to take a walk. Would someone mind checking up on Paddy while we're gone?"

"There's a carriage in Celia's room. Why don't you put him in there? We've got the baby monitor down here." The lifeguards and the baby-sitters had gone into town for the evening.

The grounds were massive, at least 20 acres.

"Danny, wouldn't it be nicer walking by the beach? The moon is out, the tide is out, we could maybe find a little place -"

"Because we're not 25 anymore. Let's see, past the third birch on the left and turn right, yep, there it is!"

She saw a small cabin, a little larger than a playhouse, sheltered under several trees.

"Danny?"

He opened the door and, reaching toward the windowsill to the right of the entrance, picked up a flashlight.

The little room held a queen-sized air mattress, a table with some battery operated candles, and a small chest of drawers.

"Rick took me aside earlier, said he felt bad about whoever had the makeshift accommodations. His father built this for his sister and him when they were kids. There's sheets and stuff in the dresser. I know that the beach might be romantic, but it's also sandy and unless we walked out of the house with a blanket, advertising our intentions -"

By this time, CJ had turned on the candles and was opening one of the dresser drawers.

"Good, there are mattress pads and complete sheet sets." She took out some things and threw them on the bed.

Then she turned around to face him and put her fingers to the buttons on her blouse.

Afterward, they lay there side by side, she on her stomach and he on his back.

"CJ?"

"Hhmm?"

"Honey, you really need to turn over. The way the window is framing the stars is so, you just gotta see."

She obliged and snuggled up against his side. "I guess we ought to think about getting back," she sighed.

"Thinking about it is about all I want to do about it," he answered, pulling her up and over his body.

_July 8, 2010_

After breakfast, Rick and Arnie took those who wanted to do so deep-sea fishing on Thursday morning.

CJ, Nancy, Andi, Kate, and Debbie decided they would rather hike along the shoreline later and so lingered over the breakfast table. They finally got going about noon.

When they returned, the fisherfolk had already come back, having caught several swordfish that would be part of dinner, along with shrimp and clams.

CJ went up to Danny, who obligingly pulled his legs into a crossed position so that she could share the chaise.

"How'd you do?"

"My fish proverbially got away. The New Hampshire contingent is here; Ed and his crew arrived."

"And?"

"It looks like we will be sharing our bath with Margaret and Hoynes when they get here."

Margaret again. CJ knew that sooner or later, she was going to have to deal with the issue, but right now, the sun was hot, and after the hike, the pool looked inviting, the margaritas were cold and salty, and Ginger's babysitters were looking after her son.

"Anyone seen Nancy and Jesse?" Larry asked.

"They said something about the third birch tree and took a walk," Molly volunteered.

CJ and Danny looked at each other and stifled their laughs.

Ginger's mother-in-law organized a game of Marco Polo and ordered anyone who didn't want to play out of the pool. CJ and Toby went off to play tennis with Vic and Ellie. Danny volunteered to help Rick and Arnie man the barbeque pits and spent his time with a beer in one hand as he slopped sauce on chicken pieces with the other.

Later that evening, they took another walk to the third birch, but when they got to the little cabin, there was a sock on the door and furtive noises coming from inside. Laughing silently, they ran further into the woods and came upon what appeared to be a large stack of soft pine branches. Ever the gentleman, Danny volunteered to be on the bottom. It was amazing what two "old folks" could manage if they really, really wanted something.

They never did find out who was in the cabin, but Toby and Andi looked particularly calm and relaxed when everyone gathered for charades at midnight.

_July 9, 2010_

Friday brought more beach time, including a wiener roast, flag football, and tug of war. In the afternoon, Travis gave boogie board surfing lessons to anyone over age twelve who was interested.

Some fighter jets flew over in formation and when the kids asked about them, everyone expected Kate to answer authoritatively. But Kate and Will were nowhere to be found. Ed's oldest son shrugged his shoulders. "He said something about a birch tree."

The cocktail hour featured group badminton and a round-robin croquet match. Some of the gang were also playing tennis and horseshoes.

After a dinner of steak and salad, the group had self-segregated itself by sex. With Bonnie, Carol, Donna, and Ginger all expecting and with Sam and Morgan's new addition (the emailed pictures showed Gemma as having Morgan's black hair and Sam's mouth and nose), the conversation pretty much centered on pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood.

"Would you just listen to us? Four years ago, we were running a country. Now we're dealing with runaway hormones, pregnancy hemorrhoids, diaper rash, ear infections!"

Bonnie chuckled.

Donna stared over at the guys. "Look at them. They're probably dealing with nothing more important than who will win the Super bowl this winter."

Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, Ed posed a question to one of the hosts.

"So, Rick, I understand you held a hearing on female genital mutilation yesterday? Is there any question that this is not a good thing?"

"The hearing was on whether the threat of FGM is _prima facie_ reason for granting asylum."

"You'd be surprised the number of people who feel that if it happens outside the US, we shouldn't care about it," David joined in. "I work with one on the Eastern European desk."

"What confounds me is the idea that a man would enjoy making love with a woman who receives no satisfaction from the act," Arnie Vinick stated. "It would be like making love with one of those inflatable dolls you read about; no different, really, than masturbation."

"To see her face, or to hear her say your name, to watch her just, melt, I guess is the best word I can find in English, it makes one feel so, so, _je ne sais pas le mot_ ," Jean-Luc was at a loss for words, French as well as English.

"Yeah." Danny knew what he meant even if no one had the word for it.

"You get your deepest pleasure from giving **her** pleasure." Josh offered his attempt to verbalize what the men were feeling.

"Not that I would ever do it, but if those men are afraid that if their women enjoy it, they might go with another guy, why not use a good old-fashioned chastity belt?"

"You have any of those lying around, Will?" Vic asked. "Inquiring minds want to know."

"Look at them," David said. "They probably think we're talking about football."

At that point, Rick's mom announced a dance contest.

After one dance, Danny looked at CJ, CJ looked at Danny, and they went off to find the third birch tree. This time, it was vacant and they got to put something on the doorknob.

"Oh, damn, someone's here!" Ellie's voice carried in through the window.

Danny reached over to the dresser and pulled out a quilt. Wrapping himself in a sheet, he went to the door.

"If you go up to the left about 100 yards, there's a pine bower." He handed the quilt to Vic, closed the door and returned to the bed.

"Now, where was I before we were interrupted?"

_July 10, 2010_

By late Saturday morning, they were all down at the beach.

There was a volleyball game going on between Team Josh and Team Danny. CJ, Paddy, Donna, Noah, Ginger, and Celia were down in the "wet sand" area. The moms would dig for sand crabs and put them in a hole in the sand. The toddlers would clap as the little critters burrowed back into the sand. Every nine waves or so, the water would come up far enough to splash through the baby's legs and flood the hole.

"Ladies, would you mind moving back about two feet? The tide is coming in and you might get wave big enough to get up to the babies' tummies." Courtney smiled at the women.

The moms decided that the kids had played enough in the sand and carried them up to where the blankets and umbrellas were staked out. There was a wading pool filled with water and they managed to rinse off most of the sand on the kids.

All of a sudden, they heard Abbey scream, "They're caught in the current!" As they looked up, they saw Nate running to the water, stripping off his T-shirt as he went. Courtney was about 10 feet behind him, with the rescue buoy under her arm.

Out beyond the point where the waves were breaking, Margaret and Bonnie were foundering. Several of the men were also running into the surf.

As she reached the water, Courtney turned around to face them. "No one else gets in! We don't want to have to worry about anyone else!"

Jean-Luc and John continued into the ocean. Josh and David grabbed hold of Jean-Luc and Danny and Will restrained the former Vice-president.

"Let the professionals do their job, John," Will said.

"If it were CJ, I'd be wanting to be out there myself," Danny said, as Hoynes struggled against the arms restraining him, "but they know what they're doing."

"They are swimming away!" Jean-Luc exclaimed as he saw Nate with his arm around Bonnie swimming parallel to the shore. Courtney and Margaret were also heading up the coast.

"They need to get away from the rip current," Rick explained. "See, they're turning into shore now."

John, Jean-Luc, and several others started running up the beach to where the lifeguards would be reaching shore with their rescuees.

A few minutes later, everyone was back at the umbrella cluster. Hoynes was carrying Margaret in his arms. Her eyes were closed but she was breathing, although raggedly. Jean-Luc was holding Bonnie, who was coughing and crying. Courtney was trying to hop on her left leg, with Josh and Danny on either side of her. The two men looked at each other, then Danny scooped up the young woman, who protested that she didn't need carrying. Ed, Nate, and Will brought up the rear, with the young man supported by the older men.

Abbey quickly triaged the situation.

Bonnie was okay, just frightened, but she was pregnant and would need to be checked out a little more. Margaret had apparently fainted. Her breathing seemed to be normal but she needed to be checked out. Courtney's ankle would require attention. Nate appeared to be totally exhausted but otherwise okay. She could hear the sounds of an ambulance nearing the scene.

"Daisy, wake up! Come on, darling! Wake up, Daisy!" John Hoynes, tears running down his face, exhorted.

Margaret opened her eyes, then began to cough and retched water all over the man who was holding her.

The ambulance arrived, followed closely by a patrol car.

After consulting with Abbey, the EMTs decided that they would take Margaret to the emergency room with them. John Hoynes insisted on going with her. There was definitely water in her lungs. The patrol car would take Bonnie and Abbey, in case something happened on the way to the hospital. Rick and Ginger would take Courtney, Jean-Luc, and Nate. Nate kept insisting that he was okay but Rick's mother insisted that the young man be cleared by medical professionals. She also insisted that everyone else move up to the pool area.

"I wonder why he calls her Daisy?" CJ wondered aloud to no one in particular as they gathered up towels, shoes, books, etc.

"_Marguerite_ means 'Daisy' in French," Carol said. "I think it's his special name for her.

They took everyone up to the pool area and spent the rest of the afternoon there. The crowd was a bit subdued as they waited for word on Margaret, Bonnie, Nate, and Courtney.

A little before 5:00, everyone returned from the hospital. Bonnie and Margaret were ensconced on chaise lounges; Jean-Luc and John Hoynes would have waited on them hand and foot, except that the older kids beat them to it. Nate and Courtney had been given painkillers to help with the bruising they had received from the waves (and the women they rescued) and were helped to their rooms.

Rick's mom had sent someone for a couple of bushels of blue crab and they were served on big picnic tables covered with newspaper, along with lots and lots of ice-cold beer. After dinner, there was more dancing, more conversation, and an old-fashioned game of hide-and-seek followed by one of kick-the-can. The evening ended with fireworks "in anticipation of Bastille Day".

With all the activity, CJ and Danny didn't have time to attempt another trip past the birch trees. After changing Paddy, CJ got into a nightgown, kissed her husband, and began her climb up the ladder to the top bunk. A hand on her ankle stopped her.

"Not just yet." The sentence was imperative, but the tone was not a demanding one.

As she descended the ladder, Danny began to plant kisses on her spine, going up as she came down. After a few minutes of nuzzling her neck and doing nice things with his hands, he seated her on the edge of the bed and then sat down cross-legged on the floor in front of her. He kissed his way from her left knee to his destination.

When he had taken her where he wanted to, she bent down to kiss his mouth. "Do we dare try it? What if we break the bed?"

He smiled, grabbed a couple of pillows, got up on his knees, and rotated her so that she was kneeling over the edge. He gave her one of the pillows for her knees and took one for himself. He guided himself into her and, with one hand on her core, another holding onto both her hands, and his lips on her back and neck, they found completion and contentment, ending with her muffling her outcries in the mattress.

"I've been wanting to do that ever since we arrived," he said. "I'm not saying we should replace the king in our room or anything, but, maybe we can go ahead and get a set for Paddy's room even though he's not ready to leave the nursery."

_July 11, 2010_

Sunday morning, CJ got up and headed toward the bathroom. She tried the handle; it turned.

And she opened the door to find John and Margaret just getting into the shower.

"Oops!"

"I thought you locked the door!"

"I thought you did!"

CJ backed out of the bathroom, laughing. It was a good thing she had excellent kidney control.

Later, she was rinsing one of Paddy's onesies under the bathtub faucet as Danny was cleaning up the vanity area. She went to unlock the door leading into the room John and Margaret were using. Just as she turned the locking knob, the door was pulled open and she found herself facing Margaret.

"Oh. Um."

"CJ, this is beyond ridiculous. Get in here. You, too, Danny."

At the tone of her voice, the two of them walked into the other room.

"Hey, look, they had a double!" Danny exclaimed. Apparently, Sev had chosen the type of bunk bed where the bottom was a double bed and had drawers underneath it. "No wonder Ginger was so apologetic when we opened our envelope. We got the worst deal."

"Actually, I think Jesse and Nancy had the worst deal," John countered.

"Enough!" Margaret was definitely in charge. "Sit!"

"CJ, you don't owe me any apologies or explanations. If you owe them to anyone, it would be to Suzanne and to yourself; maybe to Danny but that's between the two of you. We aren't in high school. We're old. We've lived complex lives. You were my colleague, my boss, and then my friend. I want my friend back. Could you please stop beating yourself up about it and bring her back to me?"

CJ smiled, stood up, and hugged the other woman. "I can see why Josh and the President swear by you."

"Well, someone has to bring a dose of reality into the west wing. Now show us what you and Danny have had to deal with these past few days."

The four of them went through the connecting bath into the other room.

"Oh, my!" Margaret exclaimed, taking in the two narrow bunks.

"Hopefully, you'll never complain about a double again, Maggie-mine," the former vice-president stepped behind her and put his arms around her waist.

"Who had the top?"

"CJ, of course," Danny answered Margaret.

"Why, of course?" Both women spoke in unison.

"It would have been the same if the room situation had been reversed," John whispered in Margaret's ear. "So I could watch you climb up that ladder."

"Ahk oog ga da da ." Paddy threw his rattle out of the crib; **he** was supposed to be the center of attention whenever he was in a room with big people and they weren't paying any attention to him.

_Later that afternoon_

Donna hugged CJ, at least as much as her triplet-filled stomach would let her.

"You're sure you can't stop in on your way back from Ireland?"

"Donna, between the convention, the election, getting ready to turn over everything to Liz, and having these little ones, you are going to be so impossibly busy. Plus, we'll be back here in September for Hogan's wedding at Annapolis. Listen, right before you're due, around Halloween, there's going to be a hu-u-u-ge rock concert at Camden Yard to kick off 'Power to the People', and they want some representation from 'Road to a Better World' and 'Nurturing the Skill'. I don't know if I'll be coming in for it, but if I do, I'll plan to spend some time with you. I'm assuming you'll be taking off prior to actually going into labor."

"I'm not sure. 'Power to the People'? What's that?"

"Bono, Sting, and Sir Paul have decided to head up the funding for the electrification project that was going to be Frank Hollis' next step after we finished the roads. They're going to bring in whatever other musicians who might be interested. They'll be totally independent of us, but working in close coordination. Naturally, they wanted my help and naturally, I told them I had enough on my plate but that I would be available for consultation and advice."

"Well, remember that after November, I'm a stay at home mom for a year or so. Come visit anytime. Have a safe trip over and back."

"Thanks. Enjoy the convention. It's a shame that you guys have St. Louis and the Republicans have San Francisco. If it were reversed, we'd come up to see you."

_That Evening_

Rick honked the horn of the SUV as he drove Ginger and the kids away from the house.

"Well, that's the last."

Arnie Vinick draped an arm around his wife's waist.

"That was fun," she said. "I wouldn't mind doing it again sometime. That's a good bunch of people."

"Except I hope that next time, we won't be short six guest rooms."

"Shall we go reclaim our own bed?"

"Not so fast," he answered her, drawing her into an ardent embrace. "I've been hearing all this scuttlebutt about the third birch tree on the left."


	44. California Weekend

**California Weekend**

CJ/Danny, OMCs, OFCs; brief mentions of Josh, Donna, others

Adult – warning, discussion of violence

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

This needs more work, I think, but I wanted to get it posted before I leave on vacation.

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

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_6:30 PM October 14, 2010 Santa Monica CA_

Paul Reeves pulled into the driveway of the address he had been given. The directions that CJ had emailed him had been accurate and complete, very easy to follow. Mapquest ® was good, but actual experience was apparently much better.

When he had mentioned that he would be in Los Angeles for a conference, Danny and CJ insisted that he come out early and spend a few days with them. He agreed. There had been no time for a vacation this year, except for a long weekend with Deborah and Derrick at the beach where they were working for the summer. Danny had promised him a relaxing weekend with a pool and a hot tub, only as much sightseeing as he wanted, and one small gathering to meet their neighbors.

He rang the doorbell and was somewhat surprised when the door was answered, chain on, by a young African-American woman.

"May I help you?"

He introduced himself, explained that he was visiting from out-of-town, and that Mr. and Mrs. Concannon were expecting him.

"Oh, sure, now I remember, Miz C mentioned somethin' 'bout it."

He had the obvious mental connection when he heard "Miz C" and shook his head at the comparison of CJ Cregg to Marion Ross' Marion Cunningham.

"Now that I think about it, she's real late. She should have been home 2 hours ago. I got involved in my homework. We're reading _'War and Peace'_ and I'm really liking Tolstoy. I'm not supposed to let anyone in -"

He started to explain that he understood but she was already dialing a number on her cell.

"She's not answering; just hang tight, sir."

He smiled at the combination of the slang and the "sir". She was dialing again.

"Mr. Concannon, this is Shelbie. Mrs. Concannon hasn't come home yet and I can't get her on her phone. Your company is here, Mr. Reeves. Sure, I can do that. No prob."

She hung up and closed the door. He could hear the chain being removed from the door and the door reopening.

"Please come in." As he stepped into the foyer, he could hear a phone ringing. The young woman stepped into a room to her right and came back with a cordless, which she handed to Paul. Then she began to call someone on her cell.

"Paul, it's Danny. Look, I'm sorry about this. I'm driving back from Portland. My older niece got herself stranded up there. I'm about an hour and a half south of Sacramento right now, I'll need about four hours to get there. CJ probably ran into traffic and she sometimes forgets to charge her phone. Something else I should have put on that napkin back in May. Shelbie's gonna call some of the neighbors to take her home, her folks are sitting in the hospital with her grandfather, and someone to take Paddy. One of them will keep you company, get you settled, until CJ gets there."

"Danny, maybe I should just try to find a room -".

"Absolutely not. Between Fiona and CJ, I'll need someone else in the room to keep me from getting completely all Neanderthal on the lot of them," he laughed. Danny could hear the doorbell ring. "That'll probably be Hank and Steve or maybe Diana. Would you answer the door? I'll wait; I need to talk with them."

He opened the door to find an attractive Latina woman. "Hi, I'm Diana Muñoz, two houses up the street. There's a problem with CJ not being here?"

He introduced himself and handed her the phone.

The doorbell rang again and Paul opened it to find two men, obviously (at least to his "gaydar") the interracial couple that CJ and Danny had mentioned in past conversation.

After a bit of phone passing, it was decided Steve would drive Shelbie to the hospital to be with her parents while Hank would wait with Paul in the Concannon house until CJ returned. Diana would take Paddy home with her until everything could be normalized.

Hank and Paul had been casually talking (and watching SportsCenter) for about 10 minutes when the doorbell sounded again.

Paul heard a male voice. Hank answered, "I'm a neighbor – Oh my God, CJ! What happened to you? Damn, who did that to your car?"

Paul raced to the front door.

Two patrol officers were at the door with CJ. Her face was bruised, her lip cut, her suit jacket torn. She was being supported by one of the officers.

Paul acted instinctively, extending his arm and pulling her to him. She leaned against his shoulder. Over her head, he would see the blue Mustang. The convertible top had been ripped open, the windshield shattered. The driver side door was somewhat mangled.

"Are you her husband?" the officer asked.

"No, I'm a friend. Danny is on his way home, he's near Sacramento. What happened?"

"There was a bad wreck on the freeway, a haz-mat situation. We to detour traffic off the road. Apparently, Mrs. Concannon got confused, got off the main detour. Someone deliberately wrecked into her, and then when she stopped, tried to get her purse and the car. She was smart enough not to get out of the car and to keep the doors locked, but they cut the top and smashed the windshield, got the door open, roughed her up a bit. She wouldn't go to the ER, just wanted to come home. We didn't think she was in any shape to drive, so we brought her and the car here, she insisted.

By this time, Hank had reached Danny and was relaying the details to him. He handed his phone to CJ and picked up the house phone.

"Please, Danny, the EMTs checked over me and said there was no real damage. I just want to get out of these clothes, and get into bed. I don't want to sit forever in a hospital."

Hank took the phone from CJ. "Danny, I called the doctor, as you asked. He's got a prescription for Tylenol Three waiting at the drug store. Listen, I'll go pick it up, maybe get some antibiotic cream for her cuts. We'll take care of her till you get here."

The officers gave them a card with details of the incident and a case number so the insurance claim would be filed and told them that a detective unit would probably be in touch tomorrow. Hank left for the drug store.

Paul helped CJ into the house.

"Honey, which way to your bedroom?" The square of rooms around the courtyard was a bit confusing.

After he helped her into the room and onto the bed, he took off her heels.

"Let me get that jacket for you."

It wasn't until after he had removed the jacket that he realized that it wasn't a lacy blouse under the garment but a camisole. He saw more evidence of scratching.

Then he froze.

There was an ugly bruise by each front collarbone and four more just behind the top of each shoulder. But the bruises weren't new; they were the puce-purple-yellow-brown color that indicated they had been inflicted a week or two prior to today.

Again, his instincts took charge. Cold anger flowed through his veins. This woman had once been his, and he still cared about her well-being. Who had abused her, shaken her, hurt her?

No. No way in hell. The man was so completely head over heels in love with her; was so confident in the relationship between himself and his wife; was not the type.

But then, in a quarter-century of pastoral duties, he had learned that, on this subject, nothing was impossible. Professional businessmen, politically important men, even two fellow ministers – the only set rule was that there was no set rule. And the women - executives, college professors, even a federal judge; it could happen to anyone.

Before he could further speculate, or ask her, Hank returned with the pills and the ointment. The two of them further washed the scratches that the EMTs had treated and put the antibiotic on them.

Hank brought her a glass of water. "Come on, sweetheart. Take the pills Scott prescribed for you."

Then he went to a dresser, started opening drawers, and found a nightgown. He returned to the bed and removed her slacks and pantyhose. Hank was lifting the camisole when Paul must have made a sound.

"I'm a designer. And I'm gay. I've seen many women in just their skivvies; I've seen CJ in just her skivvies. Believe me, I have no desire -" and then Hank saw the look in Paul's eyes and understood.

"You have too," Hank said quietly, his eyes expressing a deep degree of sympathetic understanding. "You've done this before, but with desire, in much more pleasant circumstances, on the way to much more pleasant activities. Why don't you go into the family room? I'll get her into bed."

The doorbell rang again.

"Hi, I'm Wally Hamash, from up the street. You must be Paul. Here's some chicken à l'orange and some bread. I'm fairly certain CJ and Danny would have some salad in the frig. There's more than enough for Danny and his niece when they get in. Anything we can do, anyone on the block will help, except that the Rogers' at the top of the street on this side, and the Robbins', on the end on the other side, are on a cruise to Mazatlan, and Clara across the street is in Sacramento with her son. Hey, Steve," Wally greeted the man who just drove up, "there's also more than enough food for you guys, too."

Steve told Paul that he had spoken again with Danny. "Let's get your bag. I'm supposed to show you where the good guest room is. You should help yourself to the hot tub and pool, and, it goes without saying, anything you want in the refrigerator."

When asked, Paul assured them that he could manage by himself, that he had some reading that needed to be done before the conference that would start on Sunday, the reason for his trip to Los Angeles. After reassuring them that he would call if he needed anything, he closed and locked the door behind them.

He found some open white burgundy in the refrigerator and fixed himself a plate of the chicken dish, deciding that he could skip the green vegetable/salad component of his diet this evening.

He checked in on CJ and found her sleeping peacefully under the influence of the codeine in the Tylenol. He tried not to think about the marks on her shoulders just yet. He found some swim trunks in his luggage. There was a terrycloth robe hanging in the bathroom attached to the guest room.

The air temperature was still in the high 80's. He changed into the trunks, grabbed the robe and a towel, and swam 10 laps in the pool facing the ocean. Then he refilled his wine glass and went to the hot tub in the center courtyard.

The air was still mild, scented by the flowers in the courtyard. It was the peaceful oasis Danny had described when the former reporter had told him of the house CJ had envisioned, had caused to go from vision to reality. There had been so much love, so much pride, so much admiration in Danny's voice when he had told Paul of their home. It just didn't compute with the discoloration on her shoulders.

About 9:30, he began to get waterlogged, so he changed into a pair of flannel lounging pants and a T-shirt. He was about to check again on CJ, when he heard the sound of the garage door opening.

A door in the wall next to his guest room opened and a thin black-haired girl of medium height entered the courtyard, followed by Danny Concannon.

"Paul?"

"She's in bed; I was just about to check on"

The other man was racing across the courtyard. "That's my niece Fiona."

He took in the young woman. In the light of the courtyard, he couldn't see her clearly, but he would bet that her black hair was accompanied by either blue or green eyes, an extremely fair complexion, but no freckles. She was in a pair of heels that were almost as tall as her feet were long. If she was wearing hose, they were sheer flesh-toned ones. Her skirt was tight and curved under her backside. It extended down her thighs by about 5 inches. She wore a skintight tank top that barely touched her waistband. She obviously wore no bra.

He had always left decisions about Deborah's wardrobe to Alicia, and then to Alicia's sister after she had died (although, when asked, he did voice the opinion that keeping a man guessing about what was under a loose garment was, in his opinion, more alluring than taking away any doubt). He did remember Alicia telling his daughter that there could be a thin line between stylish and slutty; in his opinion, Danny's niece was within a millimeter of crossing that line.

Danny came back into the family room with an unopened toothbrush, some other toiletries, a T-shirt, a pair of shorts, and a set of towels, which he handed to the young woman.

"Are you hungry, Fiona?"

"No, Uncle Danny, I -"

"Then go to the room next to your aunt's office and get into bed. We'll call your parents in the morning."

"But, Uncle Danny, I -"

"Fiona, please go to the bedroom before I forget I'm your uncle and not your father."

"You might as well be, you're as uptight as he is."

"Fiona Maureen MacDonald, if I were your father, you and I would be in my den and my belt --", the man sighed deeply. "Please, this has been the worst day. Just. Go. To. Bed."

After Fiona left the family room, Danny looked up at Paul.

"I'm sorry. She's been a handful for the past year. She left school, worked in what was termed a 'gentlemen's club' in London, got involved with some men with more money than maturity, and ended up in Portland, without a visa, no money. I had to drive up Tuesday night, spend most of Wednesday dealing with the authorities, have Josh pull some strings, then another 14 hours driving back. Someone had to take my classes on Wednesday and I missed a seminar today."

Danny walked over to a cabinet and pulled a decanter from the back of the bottom shelf. He poured two glasses and handed one to Paul. From long experience, he waited for the man's reaction to his brother-in-law's family whiskey. After explaining the history of the alcohol and explaining that Fiona was basically a good kid, he turned the subject to his wife.

"Did you see what they did to her car?"

"She did have the top up, like you asked," Paul responded, "But yeah."

"I know she got lost on the detour, that she wasn't being careless. She loves that car. It would kill me to take it away from her, but it kills me with worry about something just like this when she drives it."

Paul could see the anguish in the other man's face. "I don't know your financial situation and I wouldn't ask, but, assuming the car is fixable, and assuming you can afford a third vehicle, why not get her something safe to drive when she's alone and keep the Mustang for fun and leisure, preferably when the two of you are together. I'm assuming you are not one of those men who insist on doing all the driving all the time."

"That might work," Danny sighed, then stifled a yawn.

The man had just driven almost 2,000 miles in 48 hours, had dealt with a recalcitrant niece and was clearly upset about the condition of his wife. But Paul could not spend the night under his roof, accept his hospitality, without finding out about the bruises on CJ's shoulders.

"Danny, when I was helping her with her injuries, I took off her jacket, I didn't realize that she wasn't wearing a blouse -"

"I did notice the nightgown. Paul, I wouldn't have asked what I asked of you in May if I didn't have confidence in your integrity, I'm not concerned that you -"

"Your neighbor. Hank. He put her in the gown. No, what I mean is, when I took off the jacket, I saw the bruises on her shoulders, the ones that have been there for some time, and I – Danny, she is still special to me and the thought of anyone doing anything to hurt her is unnerving."

Danny looked up. He realized what Paul was asking and he realized that he had to be honest.

"It wasn't deliberate, please believe me. I've had something that has been tormenting me for the past two, almost three months. When I know that something is bothering me, I can be aware of it, be extra careful to be gentle, not to let it interfere with being with her. The first time was right after we decided to pursue a serious relationship, right before the end of President Bartlet's term in office. I've been able to control situations before, again by being careful, or, if necessary, not take the chance at all, not touch her until I'm sure I keep everything in control.

"But this time, it sprang up inside me all of a sudden, in the middle of – believe me, as soon as I realized I was hurting her, well, it was more effective than the iciest shower, more effective than being walked in on by a parent, or a child. It was nine days ago, and I still haven't I trusted myself enough to try again.

Danny looked at Paul with tears in his eyes.

"I wouldn't hurt her for the world. Have you ever had anything like this happen to you? Can you understand? Can you believe me?"

"It was Valentine's Day," Paul responded, "our first year together. Although it was the middle of the week and I would normally be working, I switched with someone else, made reservations in a place I had heard about in Oakland. We were just finishing up, when someone came up to us and was upset that I was there with a white woman. If he had just said something to me, it wouldn't have hit as hard. My father had taught me, as his father had taught him, as I've taught my son, not to let it get to you, that being beaten up, or strung up, for that matter, was not worth reacting to a word.

"But you can imagine how CJ reacted. And the man called her a you-know-what's bitch. By this time, the manager, the wait staff, some of the other customers, were escorting the man from the restaurant. The management was incredibly apologetic. They wouldn't take any money, said they would even cover the gratuity. The next week, I received a letter with more apologies, an open-ended gift certificate for another meal. They told me that at least eight other patrons offered to pay for our meal, had tipped the wait staff for us."

Paul smiled ruefully. "I had arranged another bed for my roommate, with some guys down the hall. It was going to be the first time we would spend a weeknight together, except for Thanksgiving. But I couldn't trust myself to do anything more than hold her in my arms.

"Danny, I really didn't think, but I had to ask."

"I know. If the situation were reversed, I would have had to have asked also. By the way, did I just threaten to beat my niece?"

"I'm afraid you did. But, as you also said, you had one hell of a day. And, as my grandmother used to say, maybe the threat by itself will put the fear of God in her. She would also have said that maybe the girl deserved it, but I'm not going there."

Danny finished his whiskey and stood up. "I've got to get some sleep. I need to teach my classes tomorrow afternoon. I'm sure you're still on Eastern Time and must be dead to the world also. Please help yourself to anything if you wake up early tomorrow. The paper usually comes by 6:30. The coffee is in the refrigerator. The filter is a permanent one."

He escorted Paul to the guest room, checked on his niece (sound asleep), and entered his own bedroom. He went into the shower and took a warm one, hoping it would relax him.

Lying down, he pulled CJ loosely into his arms and thought about the thoughts that had possessed him since this summer, the ones that had caused the bruises Paul had questioned.

It started in Ireland. They were on the beach, the strand, he corrected himself, near Dingle, when he was hit with a powerful, gut-wrenching fear. Should anything happen to him, CJ must not marry Toby Ziegler.

At first, he thought it was jealousy and he berated himself for his meanness. He told himself that Toby cared for CJ, before, during, and after his marriage to Andrea Wyatt. He told himself that just as Toby had been physically faithful to Andi, the man would, if married to CJ, be physically faithful to her. That just as Toby did not intentionally inflict any mental pain on Andi, the man would, if married to CJ, not intentionally inflict any mental pain on her.

But it didn't help. The thought, the fear, kept returning, at odd moments, for the rest of their time in Ireland.

It continued when they returned to Santa Monica in August.

In September, the thought struck again with a vengeance in the middle of Hogan's wedding ceremony in the chapel at Annapolis. It continued when he returned to Santa Monica alone while CJ spent a week with Donna, who was easing into maternity leave, working half-days, shepherding Liz Bartlet as she learned the job of being Mrs. Santos' Chief of Staff.

Then came last week, when the thought came while he was making love with his wife. Toby must not, he must not, he absolutely must not marry CJ. And then she whimpered.

"Danny?"

He looked down, saw the pain, the fear, the questioning in her eyes. He saw his fingers pressed so hard into her flesh, against those delicate collarbones. As he had said, it was instantly deflating.

"Oh, my God, Jeannie! I don't know what in the world I'm doing! Please, darling, please forgive me! Are you okay? Can you breathe? Do you want to go to the ER?" By this time, he was lying on his side facing her, his hands tracing but not quite touching her face, terrified of his own strength.

She turned to face him and reached out for him.

"I'm okay, Danny, I am. It's just that you've never, except for that day when I told Santos 'no', been like this. Honey, what is bothering you so?"

"I don't know, Jeannie, but it's gone." He reached to pull her to him, kissed her forehead, put his arms around her. "Let's just go to sleep."

"But we have unfinished." She reached down to his groin, began to stroke him.

He gently moved her hand from him. "I can't, not just yet. But let me take care of you."

And he moved down, kissing her body as he went, and with his fingers and his mouth, did what he dared not do with his genitalia.

Then, on Tuesday morning, when Fiona called from the INS offices in Portland and he talked with Erin and Robin, the both of them alternating between fear and anger, his younger niece came to the phone.

"Uncle Danny, I'm sorry I wasn't home when you came to visit. I had no idea until last week what you've been going through. This isn't just from me; this is from Aunt Sorcha. You are not going to die for a very long time. You do not have to worry about Aunt CJ marrying anyone else."

He didn't think to question how Aisling knew what had been bothering him. All he knew is that when he heard her, he knew it to be the truth and his mind soared. But he had to deal with Fiona, call his powerful friends, go up to Oregon and take her into custody.

Now, instead of worrying about physically hurting his wife, he anguished about having to deny her the use of the car she loved so much. Maybe Paul's idea was best; maybe she would listen to him. He drifted off to sleep.

_Friday morning_

As his host had predicted, he did wake up on Eastern Time, about 4:30 AM for Los Angeles. He read over his presentation for the conference that would start Sunday afternoon and then read from his bible. Finally, at 6:30, he showered, dressed, and made his way to the kitchen to start some coffee and to retrieve the paper.

"Good morning."

He looked up to see Danny's niece. She was wearing the things Danny had given her last night.

"Good morning. The coffee is still hot."

"I'm a tea drinker myself," she smiled at him and began to start preparations for that particular beverage.

She brought her mug to the table and sat next to him.

"So tell me all about yourself," she smiled and put a hand on his forearm.

He carefully removed her hand from his arm.

"I am a Disciples of Christ minister. I knew your aunt by marriage when we were both at Berkeley in the early 1980's. I will be attending a conference in Anaheim starting Sunday. And I have children your age."

"That doesn't mean anything. A lot of men like younger women. My aunt Sorcha says that I need an older man. Maybe you're that man."

"Child, in my many years of ministry, I've met those men. I know they exist. I am not one of them.

"Instead of flirting with me, perhaps you should be thinking about the trouble and grief you've caused your parents, and your uncle. You are lucky that he has powerful friends. You could still be in jail. Or on your way back to Ireland, banned from ever returning to this country."

"Which might not be a bad idea." CJ came into the kitchen. "Fiona, would you please go into the family room and watch TV or call your mother or go take a bath or something."

As the girl left, CJ poured herself a cup of coffee.

"I'm sorry about her. She really is a good kid, she just thinks that she has to have a man in her life and that anyone will do. Not that you're just anyone," she smiled at the man.

"I know what you meant. How are you?" Her facial bruises were more obvious today than they were last night. The cut on her lip was right at the corner of her mouth and would probably heal without too noticeable a scar.

"Achy. Thank you for taking care of me last night."

"CJ, why didn't you just give them the purse, give them the car? You could have been killed!"

"Yeah, it was dumb. But they made me so damned mad!" She sighed and her shoulders slumped. "And look what it got me. My face is messed up and Danny'll probably insist on taking the car away anyway."

"CJ, he was so worried about you. He loves you so much. When he was talking on the phone, he was so frustrated that he wasn't here to take care of you. And last night, the anguish was so obvious." He wasn't going to tell her about the compromise he suggested. Maybe if she thought that there would be a long "serious discussion" about the convertible, she might be more amenable to the idea of not using it for her day-to-day travels.

"I know, I really don't deserve him," she smiled. "But don't you dare tell him"

She was interrupted by the ringing of the phone.

"Yes, this is she. Excuse me? From Oslo?" She sat down, holding the phone to her ear. "Are you serious? Come on, who put you up to this?"

"Aunt CJ!" Fiona came running into the room. On CNN, they just said that you and the man you work for won"

"the Nobel Peace Prize." CJ finished her niece's sentence. Then she spoke into the phone she was holding. "Yes, I understand. I'll await their call. And thank you."

She stood up to replace the phone and turned to face Paul.

"I've just won -"

He stood up, put his hands gently on her shoulders, and kissed her forehead. Then he traced a finger down her nose and lips, put his palm under her chin and traced her jaw with his thumb. "It looks like God had much better plans for you, as well as me, when he separated us. I'm so proud of you, sweetheart."

"For what?" Danny walked into the room, yawning. The phone rang. There was a knock on the kitchen door; Hank and Steve were outside. The doorbell was ringing.

CJ went up to Danny and told him her news. He stared at her, then pulled her into a huge hug. "I told you would get good at new things. And look what you've done."

The rest of the day was slightly structured chaos.

Hank and Steve guarded the front door, keeping the news media at bay. "Mrs. Concannon will have something to say in a few hours."

Paul stood sentinel at the back door, performing the same duty.

Fiona became very adept at screening the phone calls, letting through friends and family. Twice, her eyes wide, she handed the phone reverently to CJ. "The Governor's Office." "The President's Executive Assistant."

Nancy came over and they coordinated statements and appearances with Frank Hollis. CJ would talk with the press and the other news media outside at noon. Danny called his department chair at Culver City. They would find someone else to take his classes again.

Hank called a friend from the studio; she came over and used her make-up skills to hide the damage to CJ's face.

Diana called. She would bring Paddy back in time for the news conference, properly bathed and "made handsome." She was also relaying all the good wishes from the neighborhood; everyone had enough sense to know that the last thing the Concannon's needed right now was more people in the house and more calls on the phone.

"If you are still planning to hold the party tonight to introduce your friend to us," (and Danny assured her that they were) "we'll also make it a celebration."

Danny asked her, when she came over with his son, to go over CJ's food list and see what still had to be bought and to handle those details.

The press conference, on the driveway, went as well as could be expected. Steve had had the foresight to get the keys to the Mustang and move it up the street to the Rogers' driveway, hoping to head off any questions. However, one enterprising reporter for the LA Times, a student in Danny's class last year, had read the police blotter and made the connection. They managed to field those questions with just a small degree of difficulty. As a husband, Danny was pissed; as a teacher, he was proud.

In mid-afternoon, when everything had somewhat calmed down, Robin arrived. No, he didn't fly over himself. In fact, he had requested a week's leave; in his mental state, he was in no condition to fly a plane. After asking Danny where he might have some privacy with his daughter, he escorted her into Danny's den. Fifteen minutes later, they emerged from the room, both of them very quiet, she with a trace of tears on her face. But Robin did have his arm around Fiona's shoulder and she did smile up at him weakly.

No, they couldn't stay the night. He had actually bought tickets, on another airline, not wanting to deal with a wait list for free seats, on an evening departure to Shannon via Chicago. The only thing he needed was a decent outfit for his daughter.

CJ's clothes would be way too big. After some trading off and trying on for sizes, Nancy went out and bought the girl a pair of sneakers, some underwear, and a tracksuit.

Father Niko called. Was there anything that the Teen Club could do to help?

Danny talked with him. That night, at the party, the doors were guarded by very polite, but very insistent young men – the defensive front line from Saint Monica's High, fresh from their upset victory over Mater Dei last night.

In spite of all the attention over CJ, everyone at the party made Paul feel welcome, asking him about his work, about his family, and, of course, how he knew CJ. Ever the private person, and knowing she was also, he played down the relationship, making it seem as if they had casually dated, little more than friends. However, he could sense the intrigue in the air, and a couple of times, he saw the young girls looking at him and giggling behind their hands. And then there were the looks directed at him by Diana, the woman who had helped with Paddy, the willowy Jessica from next door, and the Jewish woman, what was her name?, Aviva.

_Saturday morning_

Some self-important Hollywood couple had gotten into a fight with patrons at a restaurant Friday night and CJ was moved off the front page and off the local newscasts.

Danny had a Saturday morning seminar. They dropped him at USC and then Paul and CJ did some sightseeing until it was time to pick up the scholar. The rest of the afternoon was spent in more sightseeing.

They ate dinner at the little restaurant down on the pier and when they returned to the house, Paul did help the two of them to reach a compromise, the one he had suggested to Danny, on the Mustang. They would have it repaired and keep it for leisure use. CJ would promise to keep her cell phone charged at all times. Danny agreed that CJ's new car could have a sunroof if she kept it shut in "iffy" situations.

Glenallen Walken called, just back from Africa. He was so thrilled for her and Frank getting the Nobel. He had a favor to ask. His nieces had heard about the super concert at Camden Yards at the end of the month and really, really wanted to go. Would CJ be willing to let him take her place as the official representative from "Road to a Better World"? He would love to show the girls a super special time. CJ told him that he would be doing her a favor by doing so; the way she felt right now, she didn't want to leave the house, let alone the state. She explained about the attempted car jacking. He told her that he understood, but reminded her that she did need to get back on the proverbial horse and to not shirk too many of her duties.

_Sunday afternoon_

It was time to leave for Anaheim and the convention that was the purpose of this trip. She walked him to his car, loosely holding his hand.

"I'm sorry that everything turned out the way it did," she said.

"Don't be. I was thrilled to be here when you found out about the Nobel. Honey, you can't begin to understand how proud I am to know you, to have been part of your life. I am so happy for you and for Danny."

"But instead of a quiet, relaxing California weekend, you had to play nursemaid and marriage counselor, then security guard. And my niece pulled her Lolita act on you."

"I didn't mind helping out, and, in a way, I suppose Fiona's attentions were flattering. But, I don't want to train any more young women. You and Alicia were more than enough for one lifetime." He laughed as she poked his arm.

They hugged, kissed each other's cheeks and then he got into his rental and drove off.

She returned to the house, found her husband, and pulled him into the bedroom. It had been way too long.

He arrived in Anaheim easily, thanks again to CJ's directions, and checked into the hotel where the conference would be held. He had about an hour before registration and the opening reception, so he decided to check his email, something he hadn't done since Thursday morning.

He opened the one from his son.

"Well, Dad, while you lay around all weekend by the pool, drinking margaritas, I met the most fascinating girl from Dennison…"


	45. The Day the Music Died

**The Day the Music Died**

CJ/Danny, Josh/Donna, mentions of others

Rating Adult – from the opening line of "Ben Casey" – man, woman, birth, death (but not infinity)

Warning – character death, offensive language

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

My apologies to the musicians who meet their demise (and to their fans, of which I am one.)

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_Sunday October 31, 2010 Santa Monica, CA _

Danny was in the family room watching the Bears and the Lions. They broke into the game right in the middle of a play, so he knew it was something important and something disastrous. As he listened, he began to shake; thank God he had insisted she stay home this weekend.

He made his way to the bedroom where she was napping. He sat down beside her on the bed and gently tried to rouse her.

"CJ? Honey, please, wake up." He kissed her (God, he missed kissing her this past week), lifted her by the shoulders and gently shook her,

"Danny?" she yawned in his face. "Whas" she stopped when she saw his face, suddenly coming to full consciousness. "Danny, what is it?"

"There was an explosion at Camden Yards. It took down the stage, damaged the stadium. They don't know yet how many, how many - " . He couldn't go any further, but reached for the remote to the bedroom television.

" – and we don't know who was in the stadium at the time. The scheduled performers were Sting, the Who, Paul McCartney, Bob Dylan, and the Stones, but all weekend, many performers had been hanging around backstage. They were as anxious to see the other acts as were the concert attendees.

"At this point, no one has claimed responsibility for the attack. Several major groups have denied any knowledge of the attack. It's hard to imagine who would object to the charities that would benefit from the concert. 'Road to a Better World' has made efficient transportation in Africa a reality and 'Nurturing the Skill' has trained local personnel to manage the projects. This new endeavor, 'Power to the People', intends to bring electricity to the furthest reaches of the sub-Saharan interior. None of these could be considered controversial. Also, other than the giving of consent by the countries involved, there has been no political involvement. All the funds have come from private entities and individuals, such as Franklin Hollis, the Prince of Wales, and the Sultan of Dubai."

CJ looked at the scenes on CNN. What had once been a beautiful baseball park was filled with a smoking cloud. The reality of the situation hit her.

"Danny, if you hadn't insisted that I stay home this weekend, let Glen be our only representative, I could have - " she buried her face in his shoulder. "I'm sorry I've been such a bitch about it. I'm sorry I doubted your intuition."

He hugged her close to him.

They had fought about it for the past week. She had spent a week in Washington with Donna and Ginger (and Carol and Margaret when they could get away from their jobs) after Hogan's wedding in September. She was still recovering from the mugging two weeks ago. She was planning to go to DC in November when Donna and Ginger delivered. She had just come back from San Luis Obispo and Bonnie, who had gone into premature labor last week. (Little Giselle Renée was doing fine, praise God, but would be in NICU until she reached 4 pounds. Jean-Luc was an emotional wreck.) They would be going to Norway in December for the Peace Prize ceremony for her and Frank Hollis, leaving Paddy at home. She really needed to take some time for herself, for their son, and for him.

She had finally given in, but let him know that she wasn't a happy camper, especially where he was concerned. Friday, he told her to go ahead and go, but he said it in a way that screamed "I am making the sacrifice, I am being the mature one, selflessly holding down the home fires while you go gallivanting all over the country and the world." She, in turn, declined the offer in a way that said, "I am sacrificing myself to stay home and be the _hausfrau _you want me to be". He almost slept in the guest room last night but decided that the king-sized bed was big enough for them to have avoided each other this long, and that they had a better chance of making up if they were in the same bed.

She still wasn't completely happy with the compromise about the Mustang. Neither was he. (The Muñoz' and the Bartlets told them that such dissatisfaction was the sign of a good compromise, but they weren't convinced.) They had also had a minor spat when she found out about Paul's concerns about the bruises on her shoulders only after he had left Los Angeles.

"Danny, if I had known, I would have made sure he knew that you would never hurt me! And it's not something I can do in an email, or over the phone. Hell, I can't even do it in person now; it would seem forced."

He couldn't tell her that he couldn't talk about it with her while the minister was their houseguest because he couldn't tell her, and still couldn't tell her, what had been bothering him when he had unconsciously hurt her. Aisling had assured him that he wouldn't die early, and that helped, but he still had the feelings about a marriage between Toby and CJ. He didn't like keeping things from her, and the tension from that incident was kindling for the firewood of the disagreement about her going to Baltimore for the mega-benefit concert weekend.

But now, nothing mattered except that she hadn't been in Camden Yards today.

"Jeannie, it's okay. I'd take a month's worth, a year's worth, of cold shoulders, if it meant keeping you alive and well." He accepted her kiss, her implied apology, with no sense of self-satisfaction. He thanked whatever ancestors were responsible for the vague ESP feelings he sometimes had. "But CJ, I didn't have any feelings of dread about the concert; or if I did, I didn't recognize them. I just wanted you home with Paddy and me. I'm just so glad you are safe." He gave her a kiss in return that apologized on his part.

The television again demanded their attention.

"We've just received word that a group calling themselves "Sons of Aryan Purity", a group up to now unknown to this reporter, is claiming responsibility for the explosions. They claim to object to the idea of providing any benefit to what they term 'mud people' and claim that, and I quote their release, 'these schemes are fomented by the Yid as part of their one world plan for domination.' They claim to be active in every state of the union, but refuse to name a headquarters."

The phone rang. Danny answered it. "Hey, Josh. Yeah, we're watching CNN right now. I'll tell her. Keep us posted, please." He turned to CJ.

"Honey, there are some preliminary reports." He put his arms around her again. "John Hoynes and Margaret were there, the only ones from the Administration, as far as Josh knows. Margaret has a broken leg; John lost an eye. Sweetheart, Glen is in a coma; they don't know if he'll make it or not."

"Walken?"

"They found him covering his nieces. The girls were unconscious and scratched up, but they'll be okay. A girder, it fell directly on his head - " He hugged her tighter as she gasped at his words.

The phone rang again.

"Other than the obvious one that she is devastated, she has no comment right now."

His cell rang; it was Ken Robbins from down the street. "Yeah, Ken. I know, I just so glad she didn't go. What you and everyone else can do? Listen, the calls are starting to come in and I think the reporters will be here soon. We could probably use someone to help screen the calls and to stand sentry at the doors. Thanks, buddy."

A few minutes later, his cell rang again. Joel Feldman and Wally Hammash were manning the front door. Hank and Steve had the kitchen door. Ken, Frank, and Billy Rogers would take the deck, just in case someone tried to climb the fence. Laura Robbins, Clara, and Yan would be over to field the phone calls on the landline and on their cells.

The front door opened, admitting Nancy.

Franklin Hollis called from San Luis Obispo. He was arranging for a private security detail for CJ, Bonnie, and Nancy. "And the foundation offices will be closed until we have a better handle on these monsters."

Clara handed CJ's cell phone to Danny. (CJ was changing Paddy.) "Governor Seaborn's office."

"This is Danny Concannon." "Yes, ma'am." "Tell the Governor we appreciate the assistance. You might want to call Frank Hollis in San Luis Obispo and let him know, so the private firm he hired can coordinate with the state troopers. And please thank the governor again for us."

"Danny," Laura said, "I have Josh Lyman from the White House on the land line." She held out the phone to him.

"Danny, I have some more information, I'm letting you know before we tell the press, although CNN, as usual, knew before we did."

Danny looked at the telelvision. The CNN graphic now read "The Day the Music Died."

Josh continued, "It looks as if we've lost Dylan, Springsteen, McCartney, and Mick Jagger. Ringo, the rest of the Stones, and the Dead are in serious condition. The Who is unaccounted for, they were scheduled to be on stage after Sting, who was playing when the blast occurred. He's okay, by the way, as are Beyoncé, India Airie, Melissa Ethridge, kd lang, the Dixie Chicks, and Ludacris. They were backstage. Most of the younger groups weren't there, since they played Friday night and Saturday. Oh, Bono made it out okay also, as did Geldof. I just got a new list. Let's see, Judy Collins is okay, as is Enya, so is Tina Turner. Oh, God, we lost Aretha!

"In terms of non-musical casualties, remember my old intern Ryan Pierce, well, we lost him and his wife, she was a Peabody from Massachusetts. Gus Westin was there with his dad and was hurt, but he'll be okay. Same with Otto and Lou. Amy Gardner made it out without a scratch, naturally; I swear that woman has a portrait in her attic - . Wait, Carol just handed me some more. Andi has some cuts and bruises, and, fuck!, Danny, we lost Arnie Vinick!"

Fifteen minutes later, a contingent of state troopers arrived. After some consultation, the private security force and the troopers decided that they could more easily protect Nancy in the Concannon house and two members of the private firm went to Nancy's parents' house to pick up some things. The Estevez's were visiting their son Charlie in Hawaii and they were advised to remain there for the immediate future. Nancy called Jesse Muñoz to let him know where she was. He told her he would come to stay with his aunt and uncle; he wanted to be near her.

With the arrival of the troopers, the neighbors were relieved of their sentry duty. Also, the private security force took over screening the calls. After consulting with the neighbors, they decided to cordon off the entire block. The children were disappointed about not being able to trick or treat, but since no children would be coming in, they would receive everything that the 12 families had planned to distribute, so they did get a decent supply of candy (just not a decent variety.) Frank Muñoz was called to report to El Segundo and the Air Force colonel left, asking Jesse to watch over his aunt and his cousins.

President Santos addressed the nation that evening, declaring threat level orange. The threat was domestic, but the FBI had no intelligence on "SAP", and terrorism was terrorism, no matter the source. And although it would be inconsistent for a white supremacy group to ally with other terrorists, "the enemy of my enemy is my friend." He eulogized his deceased Secretary of State as a true patriot, offering his, and the nation's, profound sympathies to Arnie's wife, daughter, grandchildren, stepchildren, and step grandchildren.

The rest of the evening, all the major networks pulled their normal Sunday night schedules for retrospectives on the musical careers of the deceased artists and the life and career of Arnold Vinick.

_Monday November 1, 2010_

Danny woke in the half-light of early morning. He could hear the low hum of the lights that the California state troopers had erected to help intimidate anyone wishing to do ill to CJ.

His wife was snuggled into his right side, a change from their normal front-to-back "spooning". Last night, they had made love gently, part as an apology for the fighting, part as an admission of relief that they had escaped potential personal tragedy. His eyes teared as he realized how much her loved her, how close he had come to possibly losing her.

He reflected that last year, it was lumps in her breasts; this year, it was a domestic hate group. He was beginning to hate October, and October, with its beautiful weather, college football, and the playing of all four major professional sports, had always been his favorite month.

CJ stirred and he reached down to kiss her.

"What's the latest?" she asked him.

"I don't know," he murmured into her mouth. "Whatever it is, it will be there later. I love you; I'm so sorry we fought. For a little bit, can we put off the tragedy and just be us?"

She smiled at him, stroked the side of his face, and then reached up to run her hand through his hair. Sometimes her husband had the best ideas.

They turned on the news briefly between showering and dressing.

The phones only rang a few times while they were eating breakfast.

The MacDonald's called from Ireland.

"We tried a couple of times yesterday," Erin said, "but we couldn't even get a line into the States. However, both Aisling and I knew that the two of you were probably okay. Then Aunt Sorcha called and confirmed. Over here, it's really hit the leading-edge boomers, people my age or so, the hardest. It's as if we've aged fifteen years in the last fifteen hours."

Danny told her that the 60-somethings in the States also seemed to be the ones who were most affected, but that the groups' fans crossed over so many groups, even down into the upper 30's. "A lot of the younger ones were introduced to them by their parents."

Bonnie and Jean-Luc let them know that Giselle was making progress, and that the parents of the other NICU babies were being incredibly understanding about the inconvenience caused by the security force hired by Frank and the state troopers provided by Sam.

Carol called to let them know that Gus Westin had been discharged from thehospital, but Margaret was still in traction and John Hoynes was also still under medical care. Thank God, her son was with Bruno this weekend.

"CJ, for what it's worth, I wouldn't wish what happened on my worst enemy, and I know that eventually he'll get an artificial eye, but right now, John Hoynes looks very distinguished with the eye patch. What were those old dress shirt ads?"

"Ah, the Hathaway man! One of my stepmother's crushes. John's back in the White House?"

"No, I stopped at the hospital and saw both of them before coming to work today."

Ginger was having some premature contractions, probably because of her reaction to Arnie's death. Rick was working with Arnie's daughter and with the State Department. The Washington tributes would be Thursday and Friday, with the California services and burial on Saturday. (Arnie and Rick's mother had agreed that when they died, they would be buried with their first spouses.)

After breakfast, CJ called Donna.

"CJ, he's trying to keep everything from me, because he's worried about the babies. There's no one here with whom he can talk. I wish Sam were still here, as deputy. I mean, Josh can talk with him by phone, but Sam has so much on his plate, with the campaign and everything."

"Well, I think that Sam is in better shape than President Santos, as far as winning tomorrow. Donna, maybe this isn't the best time to mention this, but I'm having second thoughts about coming back to be with you when the triplets are born next week. (Donna's OB/GYN was going to do a Caesarean, by Friday at the latest.) To be perfectly honest, Danny is a bit concerned about the amount of time I've been away from home, either by myself or with him. In fact, I was thinking about coming back for this concert weekend and we had a fight about it. When we heard the news yesterday and we both realized what could have happened, I came to my senses. I really think that I should stay home until the trip to Norway next month."

"CJ, don't worry about me. My parents and Josh's mom will be here as long as I need them. Your marriage is the most important thing in your life right now, or anytime, for that matter. You'll probably see Josh when he goes out there for Arnie's services. I'm basically confined to my bed except for a few hours a day, showers and bathroom breaks, maybe eat one meal a day at the table. As I said, you take care of yourself and your husband and your son. Maybe you can stop by one the way to or from Oslo. Are you taking Paddy with you?"

"We hadn't planned on it. I'll talk about it with Danny. I think we're both in a compromising mood right now."

"Just remember, he and Paddy come first.

Josh called again that afternoon. They had caught two of the bombers outside of Columbus. By tracing credit card activity and by talking with the shocked parents of the boys (they were 16 and 17), they had found the headquarters and had captured the rest of the plotters in a small town outside of Muncie. It appeared to be a group of about 30, ranging in age from 15 to 25. The older men had obtained jobs with the electrical crew and were able to sneak in the explosives. The younger boys transported the stuff from Indiana to Maryland. Many of those over 18 (and therefore eligible for the federal death penalty) were looking for deals and were naming each other as the ringleaders. The younger ones were held in separate facilities and questioned to determine which of the older conspirators were most culpable. The threat level was still kept high, but the FBI was breathing easier; it appeared that the threat was confined to this small group.

There was also bad news. The ranks of the dead now included Ringo, the other Stones, the Who and the Dead. Glenallen Walken was still in a coma. If there was any good news (besides the capture of the perpetrators), it was that relatively few of the spectators were killed; it was the people on and around the stage that were in mortal danger. Who could claim to understand the mind of a terrorist?

"Danny, I really need to unload; I need to talk with someone. I don't want to burden Donna with it, she's so close and her doctor is adamant about her not doing anything to jeopardize the kids. Can I go off the record? Do you have time?"

"Josh, I'm not a reporter anymore."

"But you do write a column and books."

"But first, I'm your friend. Give me a few secs to move into my den, so we won't be overheard." He walked into the room where he did his work, shut the door. "Okay, unload."

"We've got an election tomorrow. We're in excellent shape, we expect to carry the vote 55-45 and the College 379-159. Before Vinick's death, the numbers were a bit higher. We'll probably keep the House and may even get the Senate. But if Walken were to die before the end of the election hours tomorrow, all bets are off. So I find myself praying for his survival, not only because he's a human being, but because it would be better for us. And this is horrible, but at least Vinick's funeral can't take place until after tomorrow. Danny, what have I come to when I think about utter human tragedy, the death of one good man and the serious condition of another, in terms of what it means to the Party? Is it time to get out?"

"You can't help your feelings, Josh. I mean, if Arnie's daughter or his wife wanted a funeral tomorrow morning, you wouldn't stand in their way, would you?"

"Of course not."

"Well, there you go. You're a kingmaker, Josh. That's what you do. You helped with President Bartlet, and now you have Matt Santos. In four years, it'll be someone else."

"Danny, and this is on deep, deep background, as far off the record as you can get, unless King Arthur shows up, I won't be playing in '14."

"Really?"

"Really. The way I see it, the country will be ready for a change of party by then. With any luck, it will be Haffley again and he'll fuck up so bad that in '18, we'll have a real good chance. And by then, Sam will be ready."

"Ya think?"

"Danny, I **know**."

"No shit!"

"And, Danny, I'm going to want you and CJ on the team. Paddy will be nine. CJ already has the Nobel; she's got nothing left to prove with 'Road'. You'll have your Ph.D., probably with honors. Block out the time now, buddy."

"Josh, and this is also deep dark secret stuff, we want to start trying for another baby in a year."

"So? Donna and I will have four, and I expect her to be with us. If you have another in '12, he or she would be six in '18. Can't you see it, Danny? All of us working to get Sam, one of us, into the Oval Office. And a good guy, to boot. Like I said, it's deep background and it's 8 years away. But, Danny, it would be so great if you and CJ were with us."

"I tell you what; check with us again in 6 years. Will you be coming out for Vinick's funeral? And what was he doing at the concert?"

"I think so. The President will be going. According to Rick, his mom and Arnie wanted to be there. Apparently, they were both big fans of the Beatles and the Stones. It's amazing how many generations those groups crossed. Listen, Ronna just let me know that I'm wanted in the Sit Room. Kiss CJ and Paddy for me."

The Queen announced posthumous knighthoods for Ringo, Keith Richards, Charlie Watts, Ron Wood, Pete Townsend, Roger Daltry, and the other British members of the Who.

_Tuesday, November 2, 2010_

Glenallen Walken regained consciousness. He had lost some motor function and would have to undergo several months' therapy, but the doctors were very hopeful that he would be completely healed. The important thing was that his mind was sharp, his vision clear, and his speech unimpaired.

CJ spoke with him for a few minutes.

"Ma'am, I'm going to need a medical leave of absence for a few months. I'm sorry to burden you with my duties for a while."

CJ told him to not think about fund-raising but to concentrate on getting back to full function.

All the news outlets were reporting that voter turnout appeared to be much greater than normal. It was as if the voters were telling the hate-mongers that the American people would not be cowed, would not blackmailed by groups such as SAP.

By 10:00 PM EST, all major networks had declared that Matt Santos had won reelection. By 1:00 AM EST, Sam Seaborn and Barbara Fong had won the California gubernatorial race with 67 percent of the vote.

_Saturday November 6, 2010_

"Excuse me, Sam, Morgan. CJ, if you have a few minutes, my mother would like a few words with you." Rick came up to the Concannons as they were talking with the Seaborns at the reception following Arnie Vinick's interment.

"Mrs. Vinick, 'I'm sorry' sounds so inadequate, but please believe me that your husband will be missed. I came to know him professionally when he ran for office four years ago and then this summer, when we spent those five days with you at Cape May, I came to know him personally. I only wish I had known him earlier in our lives."

"As do I, CJ. I had been widowed for 10 years before Arnie and I married; he had been widowed for about the same. We could have had so many more years together. However, I'm grateful for the year we did have.

"Now, I understand that Glen Walken will be out of commission for about six months or so, leaving you and 'Road to a Better World' without a fundraiser. I can think of no better tribute to my husband, no better way to say 'eff you and the horse you rode in on' to those rampaging monsters, than to offer you my services until Glen is able to resume his duties. It's high time that I pass the family foundation keys to the younger generation, to Rick's sister and to Ginger. So, if you'll have me, I am at your service."

"Mrs. Vinick, we would welcome your help. Let me talk with Frank and we'll get the employment process started at once."

"CJ, I don't want any money! Surely you know what our family is worth!"

"Well, we need to have you on the payroll for insurance and bonding purposes. How about a dollar a year?"

That evening, CJ was relaxing in the hot tub, her eyes closed, reflecting on the events of the past week. She felt the familiar brush of mustache and beard against the side of her face, the press of lips on her cheek. At the same time, there was a wet, cold feeling on her abdomen. She opened her eyes to see a glass of white wine, held by a hand connected to a forearm with fine little red hairs.

"This place has the best cabana boy," she sighed, taking the glass from Danny.

"My father always told me, 'Whatever you decide to do, be the best at it'. So I'm trying." He kissed her again. "Here, hold this for me." He handed her another glass and climbed into the spa beside her.

"I guess you're glad that Mrs. Vinick volunteered to help," she said.

He switched his wine to the other hand and put an arm around her.

"I know that you would have had to step up, take on Glen's duties, and I understand. But I must admit that I'm glad that she did. CJ, honey, I know you have your responsibilities and I do enjoy seeing you out there, doing great things and getting the credit you deserve. And next month, in Oslo, they won't need any lights, I'll be glowing so much in my love, awe, and pride in the total wonder that is you. But there's still that part of me that wants to protect you, to keep you safe, that part of me that would have been a caveman, or a medieval knight, the part of me that was raised to believe that 'protecting the women and children' is what a man does. And then there's the part of me that maybe is jealous that you have relatively more freedom in your work than I do now, with teaching and taking classes on a schedule."

"Do you want to stop teaching, or drop out of grad school? Danny, you know I'll support whatever you decide."

"Of course I know that," he kissed her hand, "and, no, I don't want to do either. I want the Ph. D., and I want to teach with it. I know I have to deal with the schedules for the next two or three years; it's the means to the end."

"We could manage without the teaching income if you wanted to stop, or cut back to one class, while you're in school. I mean, it would mean more coach class on the flying, but we're in pretty good shape, money wise. We could put off buying the place in Mendocino, just bank the money from land we sold to Brianna's first husband's family."

"Right now, it's okay. Like I said, I'll keep the home fires burning for the next couple of years, be the wind beneath your wings. And speaking of wings, when do you plan to go to Donna?"

"Danny, I decided not to go right now. You gave me a lot to think about, and everything else that happened, well, Donna told me that she understood, that you and Paddy are more important to me. Do you think we could stop in DC on the way back from Oslo? By that time, Donna and the babies should be a bit more settled, plus Ginger and Rick and their newbie."

His kiss was answer enough.

A few minutes later, he took the wine glass from her hand.

Five minutes after that, he was urging her onto her knees on the hot tub bench.

"Now why don't you find the right angle and the right amount of pressure on this water jet," he whispered into her ear.

"Danny!?" She was half surprised, half unsure.

"Right behind you, honey. This way, I can hold on with both hands and let the water do what my fingers would do."

_Wednesday November 10, 2010_

The music community was planning a big memorial at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. Several younger stars had volunteered to take over Paul McCartney's role in "Power to the People."

Chris had a big exclusive on the attack. Apparently, the younger members of SAP were supposed to have worn plastic explosive and were to spread themselves throughout the audience, taking out the concertgoers when the stage detonated. However, all but one of them chickened out, realizing at the end that the older members of the group, the leaders, weren't martyring **themselves** for the cause.

The lawyers for the younger conspirators were trying to paint them as dupes of the older members, as "mere children" led astray.

"Do you miss it at times like this, Danny?" Joel Feldman posed the question. , Steve, Hank, and the other men of the block were down at Harry's, watching the Maple Leafs and the Bruins. (Sally Rogers was hosting a lingerie party for the women.)

"No. I'm tired of writing about peoples' misery, peoples' faults. And I talked with Chris last night. She's tired, also. She and her husband are ready to start a family and she's going back to school for a teaching credential.

CJ and Danny continued to make up.

Josh and Donna continued to wait for the triplets.

Ginger's premature contractions stopped and it looked as if she would go full term, the last of the three "Valentine presents". She and Rick knew they were having a boy and had picked Matthew Aaron as a name, Matthew for Matt Skinner, the man responsible for their meeting, and Aaron because they liked it. Now, when the newest member of their family was born, he would be known as Matthew Arnold.

_Friday November 12, 2010 10:30 AM EST Washington DC Georgetown University Hospital_

"Josh? What's happening? Can you see anything?" Donna's vision was blocked by the drape over her stomach. The local was working properly; she couldn't feel a thing but her mind was perfectly clear and sharp.

"Donna, you know I don't want to see the incision. I can't imagine looking at your innards." He reached down to kiss her forehead, then remembered that his face was covered with the surgical mask."

"Okay, Team 1," said the doctor, "we have ourselves a beautiful little girl!" The neonatal team assigned to the first baby took the child, took footprints and handprints, weight, length, did the first set of Apgar tests, cleaned up the child, and put her in Donna's arms for a minute or two.

"Oh, Josh! Look at her!"

"Donna, you're wonderful! Look what you did!"

"Team 2, here's baby boy Lyman A!" The activities were repeated for the second baby.

"And last, but not least, Lyman boy B!" One more time, a child came into the world.

"Donna, my Donnatella, you are so amazing!"

"Yes, I am. These babies are so beautiful! Now, Doctor Andersen, go ahead and get my tubes tied!"

_8:15 AM PST Santa Monica CA_

"Oh, my! Josh, what can I say? Besides _mazel tov_, I mean? Send pictures as soon as you can and tell Donna I'll call her later today or tomorrow. Kiss her and the babies for us."

She hung up the phone, opened the refrigerator and opened a bottle of champagne. Pouring two flutes, she made her way to the bedroom. She set the glasses on the nightstand next to her husband and woke him with her kisses.

"Hi there," she said. "Here." She handed him one of the glasses.

"At this hour?" A yawn. "Why?"

"Because, Joshua and Donnatella Moss Lyman and Master Noah Leo Lyman announce, with great joy, the arrival at approximately 10:40 through 10:55 this morning, their time, of Joan Elisabetta, Leo Samuel, and Micah Daniel." She smiled at him. "We're godparents of the last, assuming we accept."

"Micah Daniel? Really?" His smile was so brilliant, she almost had to close her eyes.

"Really."

"Wow." He lifted his glass. "To my godson, his brother, and his sister. "_Slainte_. _L'chaim_."

"_Live long and prosper_. _L'chaim_." She set down her glass and crawled up against him. "Can you imagine, four kids under 15 months? But if anyone can manage, Donna can."

"Elisabetta and Micah?" he asked.

"Donna's mother's parents. They met on Sicily at the end of World War II; he was with the 34th Infantry from Minnesota. Danny?"

"Yes, honey?"

"I've been thinking, off and on, so this isn't just the moment, the emotions." She took a breath. "Let's start trying."

He looked at her and the grin his sister called "shit-eating Irish" began to take over his face. "Now? Okay."

"As soon as I see Scott and get the okay from him. He's going to want me off the pill and ovulating for a while before we start trying, Danny," she laughed.

He pulled her over his chest and then rotated her underneath him.

"To be sure, he will. I just want to get in some practice, so I'll be ready when you are."


	46. Aurora Borealis

**Aurora Borealis**

CJ/Danny; Josh/Donna; a truckload of other West Wing folks and other characters

Rating Adult – sexual activity and discussion of conception

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

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_December 8, 2010; somewhere over the Maritime Provinces_

Danny Concannon pressed the "Print" icon and the next student paper began its migration from CD to hard copy. Then he turned his attention to the one he had just taken from the printer. After he finished reading and grading this one and the one now printing, he would be able to call it quits for the night and would be able to get some sleep. He should be able to get to the final twenty-one papers by the 12th and then FedEx the whole bunch to the school.

At least they had the comfort and convenience of the Hollis jet for this trip. Earlier in the day, he and CJ had kissed Paddy good-bye, leaving him in the capable care of Diana and Frank. Then Steve drove them to the airport where Frank, Sarita, and the others were waiting for them.

"We're so proud of you, CJ." Steve kissed her and gave Danny a hug as he dropped them at the General Aviation terminal. "And I think that I'll never get Hank off the ceiling; he can't believe that you'll be wearing his dresses and suits for the Peace Prize events in Oslo. We'll be watching for you guys on CNN!"

There were ten people on the plane, not including the crew. Sarita's brother and his wife, Frank's mother and an uncle, and CJ's brother and his wife Gina were making the trip to see Frank and CJ get the Nobel. Robin and Erin would be flying in from Ireland. Hogan would be coming in from the Indian Ocean on a roundabout way back to the Washington Navy Yard and her submariner husband. Mrs. Vinick would meet them in Oslo tomorrow; she had been meeting with some Finnish and Danish philanthropists concerning funds for "Road to a Better World".

They had refueled at Bangor. Everyone else was sleeping except for Frank Hollis. He was pouring over some corporate reports on the other side of the plane. Come to think of it, Danny couldn't remember the man sleeping. He wondered where he got his energy.

He made a few corrections in red, wrote a couple of comments on the paper he was grading. "Good points, good research. If it weren't for the spelling and grammar mistakes, it would have rated an 'A-'. In journalism, we are held to a higher standard." He put a big "B+" on the top of the first page, put the paper on the pile of completed ones, and picked up the final one from the paper tray.

After he finished with the last paper, he gathered his things, picked up his glass, and finished the last of the whiskey. It wasn't Robin's, but it was still good.

Then he sighed. He still couldn't believe how much grief he had been given over his wishes to give his students a take-home final this semester. After several days' discussion, he and the department chair had compromised on a paper that would compose 50 percent of the "final" and a combined "multiple choice/short answer" exam that would compose the other half. Yes, he freely admitted, part of the plan was because nothing short of a medical emergency was going to keep him from being in Oslo when the King of Norway put the medal around CJ's neck. But most of it was because he wanted his students to come away from his classes with more than facts memorized for the final and then forgotten within the next two months, if not sooner.

Then he made his way to the curtained off area where two extra-wide and extra-long reclining seats had been converted into a queen-sized bed, changed into a pair of flannel pajamas, and lay down beside his sleeping wife. He kissed her neck where it met her shoulder and, draping an arm in the general area of her waist, drifted off into dreamland.

When CJ was sure that Danny was asleep, she cautiously turned over and gently smoothed the lightening red (with more and more light gray) locks from his forehead. She knew he needed his rest and didn't want to disturb him.

He had been working so hard since the middle of November just to be able to come with her to Norway, to be there for the Nobel ceremony and the other events, and then to be able to spend some time in Washington with Josh, Donna, and their recently doubled in size family (including their new godson), to visit with Carol and David, to be feted by the President, and to witness the baptism of Rick and Ginger's little Matty.

First, he had to talk with his professors at USC and the Annenberg School to get his final "take home exam" topics and then research and write those papers. Other than a few hours with everyone at (where else?) the Feldman's for Thanksgiving dinner, the entire holiday weekend was spent in the library or at the laptop in his den. Then, when his department chair at West LA CC finally agreed to his plans, he had to write the two "objective" final exams, work with the computing lab to reserve the space for each class to take the test online (one on the 13th, one on the 14th), set up the security, arrange with a sympathetic fellow teacher for proctoring, and arrange to have the files containing each student's answers transmitted to him in Washington on the 15th so he could correct them and file grades within the time limit.

She recalled how he groused about it, how he couldn't wait to finish his degree and begin teaching at "grown up" college. "Swear to God, CJ," he vented, "they treat the students and the teachers as if they were still in junior-high. I know of high schools that use the methods I want to use for finals." And all she could do at the time was to offer kisses, sympathy, and to pour him a glass of his brother-in-law's pot-still whiskey.

But now, she had it in her power to do something that might help, not in the immediate future, but in the long run; or, rather, to bring the "long run" closer to the present. The question was, should she do it?

She asked Jed Bartlet, both as a man and as someone who was once given the same benefit she would be receiving. She asked Frank Hollis, who gave her the opportunity that resulted in her being given this benefit. She asked Father Luke to give her some direction from a religious point of view. She asked Paul for his religious point of view and also for his thoughts on how he (and, in many respects, Paul was like Danny) would react to such an action.

Everyone gave her points to consider; no one told her what to do. So, she was still trying to decide. In two days, she would receive, as her share for the Peace Prize, a check for the Swedish equivalent of a bit more than $500,000. Should she donate the entire sum (after having Steve determine what she would need for taxes) to "Road to a Better World" or should she use some of the money to pay for the rest of Danny's educational costs, to allow him attend school full-time, to finish the course work and write the dissertation as quickly as possible, to not have to teach at the community college, to write the columns and take on book assignments only if he really wanted to do so?

The former president told her that he had endowed a scholarship at Notre Dame with his award, but that he and Abbey already had their degrees and that his family money kept them quite comfortable. Frank said that his particular financial situation was so far removed from hers that he didn't feel right offering an opinion and that whatever she chose was okay by him; it was his trust in her innate integrity, as well as her track record, that led him to make her CEO of the project in the first place. Father Luke reminded her that her duty to give of her treasure to her fellow human beings did not mean that said fellow human beings had any entitlement to said treasure, and that "it's not like you're buying him or yourself a Lamborghini or a Maserati". Paul told her the same thing as Father Luke and added, "If Alicia had been in a position to have made such an offer to me, I hope I would have had the humility and the grace to have accepted it with the same degree of love with which it was offered."

Ah, well, she had time; the end of the year was still three weeks away. Danny had contracted to teach next semester; he would not go back on his word without exigent circumstances.

She kissed him lightly on the forehead, turned over, and, pulling his arm back over her stomach, and snuggled her butt into his groin.

And so they slept until the flight staff woke them an hour prior to landing in Oslo.

_December 10, 2010; Oslo, Norway_

"Madame Cregg-Concannon, I thank you and again I congratulate you." The Crown Prince bowed to CJ. "Sir, I return to you your wife." Another bow in Danny's direction, where he was standing with Sarita Hollis.

"Thank you, Your Royal Highness."

Franklin Hollis and the Crown Princess joined the group with similar formal bows and "thank you"s.

The first dance of the evening was now complete. There would be other required dances for CJ with the members of the Nobel Peace Prize Committee, but the hard part of the evening, indeed the hard part of the event, was over. She had been given her medal, had made her speech, had eaten dinner at the head table without spilling anything. The rest of the evening would be spent dancing in this beautiful ballroom.

Tomorrow, there would be more sightseeing and then an evening flight up to the Arctic Circle, to Tromsø, with two nights to try to see the _aurora borealis_ before flying to Washington on the 14th, when President Santos would official honor the Peace Prize laureates with a dinner and dancing. Then the Hollis' would return to California while CJ and Danny would spend the time until Saturday with their friends.

"Let me get you on the dance floor before you are claimed by someone whose name I can't pronounce," Danny whispered in her ear as he noticed several men looking at his wife from across the way.

He moved them expertly into an opening in the swirl of dancing couples who were moving in a grand counterclockwise circle to Strauss' "Emperor Waltz". Granted, he was biased, but she was easily the most beautiful woman in the room. The sapphire blue dress that Hank had designed for her set off her skin, her hair, and her eyes to perfection. He had augmented the green sapphires he had given her for Carol's wedding with combs for her hair and with all those green stones against the background of the gown, the only thing he could think of was the "thousand islands" area of Lake Ontario.

"Have I told you how much I love you, how proud I am of you, how proud I am to be your husband?"

She looked at him, so handsome in white tie and tails. His face glowed with the emotions he had just expressed.

"Only about 295 times," she laughed. "But Danny, if it hadn't been for you, for not letting me throw you away, for helping me to make the choice to do this with Frank, for letting me gad about all over the world, within your protective restrictions," she laughed again, "for loving me unconditionally, I could never have achieved what I've achieved."

Without missing a beat, he pulled her right hand to his mouth and kissed it, feeling the brush of his grandmother's ring against his lips. It touched him that, except for the final weeks of her pregnancy, when her fingers had swollen, she had not removed it since their wedding day, when she transferred it from her left hand to the right. Tonight, as on other important, "dressy" occasions, she was wearing the emerald-cut diamond he had bought for the twins and given to her for Paddy. The ring she had admired those final months in the White House when Ellie was getting married was next to her wedding band. But tomorrow, it would go back in the traveling jewelry roll. He had been glad to give it to her, in thanks for his son; but he was also glad that she treasured the little ring he gave her that Candlemas night when he asked her to marry him.

The waltz ended and she was claimed for dancing by members of the committee, then by Franklin Hollis, by her brother, by Robin, by others. He danced with Sarita Hollis, he danced with his sister, with Gina, with Hogan; he even danced with several women of the royal family.

The orchestra had just finished a set of Glenn Miller tunes. Danny had been dancing with Mrs. Vinick and the two of them were standing with Frank Hollis' mother and uncle. A second cousin of the Crown Prince escorted CJ to the group.

The orchestra began another set, this one of show tunes.

"Thank you so much, Danny, I really enjoyed that. My first husband was an excellent dancer, and Arnie was just as good. He would have loved being here tonight. I've missed the dancing."

CJ gave Danny an imperceptible nudge and a look passed between them.

"Then shall we do it again?" he asked the older woman.

"Oh, no, my dears. We older folk," she accepted the left arm of Frank's uncle, who had offered his right to his sister-in-law, "are calling it a night. Dance with your beautiful and brilliant wife. Make some memories." Her face became a little wistful. "You may need those memories someday. Not soon, please God."

CJ and Danny watched the three of them leave the ballroom floor and then joined the other dancing couples.

_Several hours later_

"Love you. Love you. Love you."

Danny kissed CJ's shoulder from her neck outward as he lowered the zipper of her gown.

"Remind me to thank Hank for sewing in the bra," he said. "One less thing to deal with." He pushed the dress to the floor, and then slipped his hands under the waistband of her slip and pantyhose. He kissed a trail from her neck to her navel as he lowered those garments to her knees.

She used her feet to remove the slip and the hose and stepped out of the pile of clothing. She had long since removed Danny's shirt and suspenders and now her hands moved to the zipper that was holding his pants to his hips. In two seconds, he was left with only his boxers.

Now kissing her mouth, he wrapped his arms around her and walked backward toward the bed. She stopped moving and slid her hands down his chest.

"I'll be back," she promised, heading toward the bathroom.

"Bring it in here."

At the sound of his raspy voice, she looked into his eyes, smiled, and nodded.

Last month, when they went to see Scott Winkler to ask about trying for another child, he did indeed want them to wait.

"Finish out the current cycle of pills. Then, at least two normal ovulation and menstrual cycles. Watch what you eat, both of you, although it's obvious that you do so anyway. Only moderate drinking for now. Once you actually start trying to conceive, no alcohol at all for you, CJ. And don't overdo the exercise. Too much can sometimes affect the level of your hormones.

"Now, unless you intend to remain celibate for the next three months or so," the man smiled, ("three months, we can hardly manage three days," Danny said under his breath) "let's get you fitted for a diaphragm and trained in how to use one. Unless you want to go back to using condoms." The look on Danny's face told the doctor how well that idea went over.

It was not the inconvenience and "mood killer" she feared.

For one thing, they weren't giddy teenagers and they were no longer newlyweds. Sex was an expected part of their normal lives. Of course, they still marveled at their feeling for each other and they still did the little things that pleased each other, surprised each other, showed their consideration for each other; but, except for times when tempers or disagreements flared, they each knew that their physical needs would be assuaged on an almost daily basis. A smile and a particular caress at 5:30 meant "tonight" more often than it meant "this second." Inserting the device became part of her normal bedtime routine.

Morning sex was a bit more spontaneous, but neither of them were spring chickens anymore and they both found themselves needing to use the bathroom as soon as they awoke, so if they woke "in the mood", the time needed to remove, clean, prepare, and reinsert the diaphragm added only a few minutes to an interruption that was already there.

It was the occasions like this, when something morphed into foreplay and then into desire, that having to deal with it could be an issue. But Danny managed to make it an erotic part of preparation the first time he asked her to insert the diaphragm while he watched, waiting for her on the bed. He told her that the curve of her back as she lifted one leg and bent over to position it inside her was an incredible turn on. He asked her to vary her stance, sometimes facing him, sometimes facing away from him, sometimes in profile. He asked her to do it sometimes nude, sometimes while wearing a robe. And whenever she finished and looked at him, she saw total desire in his eyes; saw him rampant and ready for her.

For another thing, using the diaphragm was part of their commitment to each other, to the long run, to the new life they hoped to bring into the world. It was as much a promise to the future, as much as means to an end, as was Danny's teaching and studying for his PhD was to their goal of a more flexible life for the family.

And so she returned from the bathroom, nude, and turned so that her left profile was facing him. Setting her right foot on the edge of the table at the foot of the bed, she bent her head and torso so that she formed a comma, her skin picking up the lights from outside the hotel.

Her task completed, she climbed onto the bed and into his arms. He rotated her beneath him, slid over her, and in her, whispering again his question from earlier in the evening.

"Have I told you how much I love you, how proud I am of you, how proud I am to be your husband?"

_December 13, 2010; Tromsø, Norway_

"Mrs. Vinick?" CJ approached the woman, who was sitting by the fire of the inn.

"CJ." She smiled, put down her book and patted the empty cushion of the sofa.

"I wanted to talk with you about my prize money." Two days ago, on the flight from Oslo, Frank Hollis had mentioned something to their chief fundraiser about endorsing over his check from the Nobel Committee to 'Road to a Better World'. There was a bit of silence, as if the others were waiting for CJ to make a similar statement, and then the subject was changed. CJ had been waiting since then for time alone with this woman, to try to explain her thoughts about using some of the funds for personal needs.

She took a deep breath. Now was the time.

"So that's why I haven't said anything to you," CJ looked intently at the other woman as she finished.

"CJ, I think you are well within your rights to use the money any way you see fit. First of all, for all the reasons your priest gave you. But also, because life can be uncertain and you need to strike a balance between planning for the future and living in the moment. Don't put off and put off, assuming that you will always have tomorrow. I'm proof that tomorrow can disappear in an instant. If Danny's getting his degree will lead to the lifestyle you want to be able to lead, then that is a valid end for which to aim. If being able to take classes full time, without working, will help him to get that degree faster, then it is a valid means to that end." Effortlessly, she caught the eye of a passing waiter. "Would you please bring us some tea?"

"How do some people know how to do that?" CJ wondered to herself. "Maybe it's imbedded in the DNA."

A few minutes later, the waiter appeared with a tea service, some sandwiches, and small cakes.

"So, CJ, do you think we will have any luck tonight?"

"I'm hoping, but this storm doesn't show any signs of passing quickly. President Bartlet said that the ones he saw here in Scandinavia were the most spectacular he'd ever seen and that as long as we were in the general region, we should try to see them."

Everyone was so disappointed. Bad weather had spoiled any chances of seeing the _aurora borealis_ the past two nights. Early tomorrow morning, they would leave for Washington. Tonight would be their last chance.

_Later that evening_

"Well, damn." Frank Hollis' simple pronouncement spoke of the entire party. The storm would not end until sunrise, just before they were due to take off for Washington (with a refueling stop in Reykjavík).

Danny wished he could do something about the disappointment that clouded CJ's face. He had seen faint echoes of the northern lights once or twice on winter camping trips with the Boy Scouts and he knew how much she had wanted to see them on this trip. "Honey, maybe sometime we can take a trip to Alaska, or northeastern Canada." He gave her a hug.

She responded with a small smile. "Yeah, maybe."

"If you want to see them, plan for it, and relatively soon." Mrs. Vinick told the two of them. "You never know - "

_December 14, 2010; Washington DC ( the White House)_

"Congratulations, CJ. The whole country is proud of you." Matt Santos reached over and kissed her cheek.

"Well, sir, I think there may be a few dissenters, but thank you. And congratulations to you on winning reelection so handily."

He turned around and looked as if he was counting off. "Helen and Frank, Sarita and Danny. Looks like everyone is lined up and ready to go." He gave a tiny nod and the strains of "Hail to the Chief" started. "Ready for the staircase?" He offered her his arm.

Later that evening, she was table-hopping when she came upon Will Bailey and Kate Harper.

"Congratulations, CJ. I'm proud to consider you a friend." Kate's lips brushed the side of CJ's face.

"Thank you. And congratulations to you, Madame Ambassador."

"Ssshh! It's not been confirmed yet! They're doing Nancy first."

Last week, President Santos had announced that he had chosen Nancy McNally as his new Secretary of State and at the same time named Kate as his choice to replace Nancy at the United Nations.

"Ms. Harper, Nancy will be a shoo-in and so will you," CJ laughed.

"That's what I keep telling her," Will offered his own kiss to the Nobel laureate. "I'm already memorizing the Amtrak schedule between here and there."

Matt Skinner joined the group and added his congratulations, then asked CJ to dance.

"So tell me about your godson," she asked the congressman.

For the entire set, he talked about the little boy that Rick and Ginger had named for the man who introduced them and for Rick's recently deceased stepfather. You would have thought Matt had conceived and birthed the little boy himself.

"Will you be coming to the baptism on Friday? Rick's mother pulled some strings, their church usually only does baptisms during Sunday services, but since Rick and I have to leave for Switzerland early Saturday morning for the conference, they made an exception. Of course, I'm sure the bishop is well aware of the family name and the family money. Anyway, I hope I'll see you there. I'm not sure if we'll be able to come to Carol and David's on Thursday; there's Cashman's wife's funeral visitation and I'm not sure how long I'll have to stay. Plus I haven't begun to think about packing for the trip."

She assured Matt that she and Danny would be at little Matty's baptism, to hear Matt and Rick's sister renounce Satan in the baby's name, to see the infant wear the 200 year-old christening dress in the historic Episcopalian church across from the White House. When the set ended, they went to the table where Rick and Ginger were sitting with Carol and David, Rick's mother, Frank Hollis' mother and uncle, and Paul. Danny, Josh, and Donna also joined the group.

"Congratulations again, CJ," Paul lightly kissed her cheek. "I'm glad I could be here to see you honored by the President. Now, if you all will excuse me, I have a very early parish council meeting tomorrow and I'm still not prepared for it."

"You can't stay for just one dance?" CJ asked the minister.

"I'm sorry," he smiled at her.

Carol brushed her lips against the side of Paul's face. "But we'll see you at the party on Thursday." Carol and David were having a Christmas party/ "say hey to CJ and Danny" party. It would be Carol's last "activity" before the anticipated birth of her little girl.

Again, the slight smile, this time directed at his parishioner. "I'll try, but I can't promise anything. I've got Mrs. Cashman's funeral visitation and I have her eulogy to prepare. But we still have that meeting Friday morning, don't we?"

Carol nodded that they did.

With handshakes for Matt, David, Josh, and Danny, he left the room.

CJ wondered a bit at Paul's standoffishness, but then decided that it probably was a hectic time for him, with Christmas and all. Then she became involved in a discussion of the new babies with Donna and Ginger, and she forgot about the incident.

Later, as she was looking around the ballroom, she asked Carol about Margaret.

"I didn't get much of a chance to speak with her and now she's left! How's she doing?"

"I think the crutches get a bit tiresome, and the President insists that she only put in a nine-hour day. She'll be at the party on Thursday."

"Everything still going okay with her and Hoynes?"

"Oh, I think so."

CJ thought she heard a little laughter under Carol's tone, but just then Josh and Donna pulled her into a big hora circle.

_December 15, 2010 Washington DC, Lyman residence_

"Oh, my God, Donna, they're still so small!"

CJ looked at the three little infants, their bassinets head to toe as if they were tiny cars on a train. Over each bassinet was a "God danced the day you were born" plaque with the name and birth date.

"If they get mixed up, can you tell them apart?" Danny joked. Then, reaching for his little namesake, "May I?"

"Yes, I can tell them apart, and, of course you may," Donna replied. Then, to the baby in Danny's arms, "Micah Daniel, this is your godfather. May you grow up to be just as good, kind, and true as he is. Now, where did I put my camera?"

After pictures of CJ and Danny, first just with Micah, then with Leo and Joanie as well, and finally one with all four Lyman children, CJ, Donna, and Danny settled down in the living room. Josh's mom said that she and the au pair would handle any baby issues.

"I can't believe it," CJ said, "you with four kids and Ginger with six! How do you all manage?"

"Well, with Ginger, it's not an issue, she has all that help. Of course, she's really involved in all the kids' lives, the soccer and lacrosse, the school plays, the dance lessons. Me, I'm just so glad that Josh's mom has moved in with us for the next year. Between her and Lord Marbury's niece, I manage to have some sort of life. It helps that I'm not nursing this time. " Donna smiled over her cup of tea. "Plus, I have some idea of what's going on this time. Be more concerned about Bonnie and Carol, they're newbies at this motherhood thing. Speaking of which, that must be a big little girl that Carol's carrying. She's huge for only seven months, isn't she?"

"I guess so. What do you think, Danny?"

"She just looks like a happy, glowing mom-to-be." He didn't like keeping secrets from CJ, but he did promise Carol that he wouldn't say a thing about the January "surprise" and he was going to keep his word.

"So, what was it like, having the C-section and being awake for it?" CJ asked. "Did you feel anything at all or were you totally numb? Did you actually see them cut you open and did you see all your innards?"

"Okay, I'm out of here." Danny got up, kissed his wife and Donna, and said he would be going to the **_Post_ **offices for a bit and would stop by to pick up CJ in two hours or so.

"Good. I was hoping he would react like that and leave," CJ said.

"CJ? What's going on?"

"Well, and this is just between you and me, we've decided to try for another baby."

"How wonderful!" Donna hugged her friend. "So, maybe by next fall?"

"No, no. First of all, I just stopped taking the pill at Thanksgiving. Now we have to make sure that I'm ovulating on a regular basis. Plus Danny has to have periodic sperm counts done twenty-four, forty-eight, and seventy-two hours after we have sex do get an idea of how fast he can recover. That will tell us how often we should have sex right before and during my ovulation window. I can't get too much exercise, apparently it's bad for my hormones, who knew?, and we have to watch our diets. So I'm off the pill but I'm using a diaphragm, probably for the next two months, at least, Scott says."

"Wouldn't condoms have been easier?"

"Maybe, but you can tell, at least we can. And, over the past generation or so, condoms have come to imply protection from STDs more than birth control, to imply non-exclusivity. At least, that's the way I see it. With condoms, we'd be buying them all the time and people might look at our rings and wonder why we needed them. Now I just have to buy the jelly. It probably sounds weird, but that's the way I feel."

"Will you have to do the shoulder-stand thing and use weird positions?"

"No, not at first. Once we start, we're supposed to give it a year before we start to 'wonder', as Scott put it. But we will have to avoid the ones with me top or the other ones where gravity would come into play in a bad way."

"Maybe that's why we're all so weird, our moms just got pregnant, accidentally or on purpose, without any prep work. And our grandmothers drank all during their pregnancies. You know, all in all, I'm glad everything happened the way it did with the triplets. Total accident, my doctor figures that an antibiotic I took for a strep throat defeated the birth control pill. Plus, now we have all the family we want, so I had my tubes tied when they were in there for the kids. Having what's essentially four babies at once will be a bit of a wild ride, but we'll only go through each phase once."

They gossiped some more.

Donna wasn't sure but she thought that the President and Mrs. Santos were thinking about having another child. A White House baby would be fun, and now that the election was over, no one could accuse them of doing it for "political reasons."

Andy and Toby were still "close" but there weren't any signs of remarriage. "But at least they're seeing each other. The twins seem much happier."

Liz was doing a great job for Mrs. Santos.

Annabeth was dating someone from the Curator's office and things were looking serious.

Mrs. Fitzwallace put her house on the market; she was going to live in Norfolk with her sister, who was also a widow. Carol and David were trying to figure out how they could afford the down payment on the place. Unfortunately, things didn't look good for the couple.

Donna made the Dean's List.

Margaret seemed particularly glowing this week, even with a broken leg.

Nancy and Jesse had a fight, but CJ thought they would be making up soon.

Between little Gemma and being elected on his own merits, Sam was almost (but not quite) too full of himself.

Paddy said "Mama" four times the week before she left for Norway. He had been saying "Dada" since July.

Noah had "Dada" down pat but hadn't said "Mama" yet. Luckily, he was too young to have any sense of sibling rivalry. However, she had been warned that in another year, there might be some issues.

Hogan looked as if she might be pregnant but CJ was afraid to ask.

Charlie and Zoey said "not for at least a year."

Glen Walken's rehabilitation was going a bit slower than first expected. CJ thought it might help if people sent him cards or paid a visit.

_December 16, 2010 Washington DC_

"Excuse me." David tapped his glass to get the attention of his and Carol's guests. "I have an announcement to make."

When everyone had quieted down, he continued.

"Carol and I welcome you to our home. We are glad that you are here to celebrate the Christmas season with us and to celebrate with CJ as we honor her work, the work that has been recognized by the Nobel Committee.

"However, we have another reason to celebrate, another life event to toast. This one occurred very privately, this past Sunday, with just the President, Mrs. Santos, Reverend Reeves, Carol, and I as witnesses, in the Gold Room of the White House." Carol whispered in his ear. "Excuse me, I'm told that you may know it as the Vermeil Room. In any event, it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you, for the first time in public, as husband and wife, John and Margaret Hoynes!"

The former Vice-president helped his new wife to her feet and held her against his frame, supporting her on her one unbroken leg for a few seconds while the party guests clapped, cheered, and expressed their delighted astonishment. Then he gently lowered her back to the chair and helped her prop up the broken leg in its cast. His ruggedly handsome face, already enhanced by the debonair way in which he wore the eye patch, glowed with joy and pride.

"Much happiness." CJ hugged Margaret.

"Be happy." She lightly kissed her former assistant's new husband. Then a whisper, a plea as opposed to a threat. "Don't hurt her."

"With God's help, I won't."

_Later that evening, Lyman residence_

"I wonder why Paul wasn't at the party." Josh asked as they got ready for bed. "CJ was really disappointed that he wasn't there. I would have thought that he could have easily found someone else to take the prayer service at a funeral visitation, even for someone as important as Mrs. Cashman."

"Just between you and me, I think Paul is trying to distance himself from CJ." Donna pulled her hair back and began to braid it loosely.

"Distance himself?"Josh stepped behind her and took over the task, wondering why she wanted her hair restrained. Normally, it would be a signal that although she was tired, she was available to him if he desired; but he should not be concerned about bringing her to climax before letting go himself. Of course, she was still recovering from the Caesarian, would be for at least two more weeks before he could make love with her.

"I think that on one level, he's still in love with her and that at times it gets to be too much."

"Really?"

"Looking objectively, can you imagine someone being that much in love with her at one point in time and not having residual feelings? And he probably is thinking that had the timing been different he could have had her again in his life. I mean, when his wife died, if he hadn't been in such deep mourning, he could have looked up CJ, he knew where she was, after all, and maybe rekindled a relationship with her before Danny made his move."

"Are you saying that he would have wanted his wife to die earlier, or to not have loved her so much? That's a terrible thing to say, Donnatella!"

Donna turned around and socked his arm. "No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that he might sometimes wonder 'what if?' And I'm sure that when he finds himself doing it, he feels guilt, first because of his wife, and then because he can see how happy CJ is with Danny."

"Well, my darling, I think you are assuming too much from a mere man. We're not as complex as you women."

"Oh, never say that, Joshua," she kissed him. "You are a very complex man." Then she stood. "I'm going to check on the kids one more time. With any luck, all four of them will sleep six hours."

"Well, if they don't, I'll take the first shift." Josh gave her a little shove toward the expanded nursery and got into bed.

_December 17, 2010 Washington DC, National City Christian Church offices_

"Paul, your 10:45 is here."

"Thank you, please show her in." Paul closed the computer files and locked the screen. As the door to his office opened, he turned to it. "Well, Carol, are we ready for – CJ?"

"I'm going to go talk with the choir director." Carol gave Paul a slight smile and left the room.

"CJ?" Paul looked at her.

"Don't blame Carol. I pulled rank; she worked for me for six years as my assistant and I had her do a lot of sneaky things. But something's going on, and I mean to find out."

"Going on?"

"You've been avoiding me."

"CJ, I'm not avoiding you. It's a busy time; Mrs. Cashman's funeral plus Christmas, secret weddings, that sort of thing."

"Paul, you never were a very good liar. That's one of the things I loved about you."

The intercom buzzed.

"Excuse me, just a minute." He left the office.

She walked around the room, looking at the pictures, the plaques, the awards.

She stopped by a series of pencil sketches. They were obviously the twins, from toddlers to teens, four each of Deborah and Derrick. They were all initialed with a highly stylized "ADR"; they were all also extremely good.

She heard the door close. "Alicia did these? Did she study or was it just a hobby?"

"She was an Art major when we met. I sometimes wonder if I kept her from something great when I took her away from Yale after her sophomore year. She eventually went back and got the degree, but by that time she was wrapped up in me and the kids."

"Did she paint?"

"Some, and she sculpted. She made some modifications to our builder's plans as well. But drawing was her passion." For some reason, he felt the need to share more and reached into his lower left hand drawer. "Here's some more of her stuff."

The pages, apparently torn from a sketchbook, were encased in plastic covers. There were sketches of the twins from the missing years on the wall, some drawings of dogs, horses, a garden. One of Paul in the pulpit, another of him with two babies in his arms. There was a beautiful little sketch of Paul with his father, another man (maybe Alicia's father?), and Derrick dated "Father's Day 1995".

She turned another page.

"Oh."

He had forgotten that that particular drawing was in the album, but he had not forgotten the sketch. It was from their honeymoon, from the private patio off the little cottage in Bermuda. He was on one of the lounges, nude, looking at the sunrise, in morning prayer. Alicia had blushed when she showed it to him; they had only been married and intimate for five days.

"If my memory isn't failing me, she did a very good job," CJ said lightly.

You could sense the satin of mahogany skin over sinew, the firm planes of the abdominal muscles. The strength of the arms, the calves, and the thighs resonated in the shading of the pencil strokes, but you knew that there was tenderness to be found inside their embrace. There was dimension in the curling hair that triangulated from the chest into an arrow pointed toward the pubic region, where the silky softness of the genitals, substantial and solid even in repose, invited one's touch. But in the end, you were pulled to the face, its chin resting on clasped hands, the face that bespoke of love and gentleness, honesty and caring, reflecting the sun, glowing with thanks to the Creator for the new day.

Then it hit her. There was nothing lustful or physical; there was nothing that trespassed on what she felt for Danny, what she had promised to Danny. But she could not deny the depth of the emotional bond she still had with this man. She realized now what he had been feeling and she realized that he did not have presence of someone else in his life to help keep that emotional bond in check. And in this culture, in this ethos, you were trained to have this bond with only one person at a time; it was imbedded in your genes.

The look that she gave him and that he gave her in return said everything. A tear escaped from her eye as she put her arms around his waist and rested her forehead on his chest. His hands came to rest on her shoulders.

"Am I going to have to lose you again? To no longer have you in my life?"

He kissed the top of her head.

"No, we don't have to lose each other again. We just need to take the time to work this out, separately. For a little while, we maybe need to keep in touch via Carol and David."

Then he lifted her chin and stared into her eyes. "But if you ever need me, you call me, come to me."

"Ditto. And, about when you were with us in October. He would never do anything like that. But it's good to know that you care. Now, show me the rest of these sketches, show me around the place."

Carol joined them a few minutes later and the subject turned to the newlyweds.

"I can't believe that you married John and Margaret," she playfully socked Paul in the arm, "and you were there," a glare at Carol, "and you wouldn't tell me about it!"

"John and Margaret married each other, I just witnessed their vows, as did Carol," Paul corrected her.

"They really did want to keep it low-key," Carol added. "I think that Baltimore made them realize how much they meant to each other. Ooh!"

The other two could see her reaction to the baby's kick.

"Carol, I think that little girl wants to give you and David a deduction for this year's taxes," CJ joked.

"Well, I wouldn't mind her coming early, being pregnant is getting old."

_8:30 PM December 25, 2010 Santa Monica CA_

It had been a hectic Christmas Day, what with Paddy tearing around like a whirling dervish, the phone calls from friends and family, including pictures of "first Christmas" from Sam and Morgan, Bonnie and Jean-Luc, and Rick and Ginger and first "Chrismakuh" from Josh and Donna, and the joyous news from Hank and Steve that they would be parents in July.

But now, Paddy was out like the proverbial light and they had the evening to themselves.

They had been in the hot tub and were now in the family room, sitting on big throw cushions by the tree. She wore a sleeveless short robe, loosely tied at her waist. He had a towel wrapped around his waist.

"I have one more gift for you." She handed him a slim box.

It was the size of a wallet box but the box was too light to be holding much of anything. He untied the ribbon, removed the paper and lifted the lid.

It was a check made out to him. The amount was in the low six figures.

"CJ?"

"It's two full years' tuition plus three full years' salary for the classes you've been teaching. I want you to be able to go to school full-time and get your degrees as soon as possible. It's part of the prize money." She told him of her conversations with Mrs. Vinick. "I'm putting the remainder of the prize into 'Road to a Better World'. But this will get you to this milestone as quickly as possible.

"I want us to have 30 or more years together with each other, with Paddy, with another child, if God wills, with our friends and families. And I know we'll be happier when you are teaching at an advanced level, when you have more flexibility in your professional life. I'm not going to dwell on it, but I'm aware of how much uncertainty, how much chance, there can be and if I can bring your goal of a doctorate and teaching to fruition more quickly, then I want to do it."

He set aside the box, reached for her hands, and kissed them.

Then he pulled her to him and kissed her. His hands began to untie the sash at her waist.

She slipped away from him, holding his hand, then just his fingers, for as long as possible.

She realized that by using the diaphragm, she and Danny were making a commitment to God and to the child they hoped He would give them. They would conceive the child in love and anticipation but not in anxiety over ovulation or sperm count. They would conceive this child with bodies that had been consciously prepared to be in optimal condition to produce seed and egg and to nurture the union of the two – hers to carry, his to care for hers. This temporary inconvenience, while disruptive to carnal love, was part of their greater love, the love that would see them through the rest of their lives together.

He rose as she returned to the room.

While she was gone, he had removed the towel and he stood there, bathed in the glow from the tree. Where the yellows, oranges, and reds of the tree lights hit the fine downy hairs of his arms and legs, he seemed to glisten. Pieces of tinsel clung to his shoulders, clung to the fine hairs of his chest, to the thin line of hair that trailed down from his chest to his groin. The greens, blues, and purples from the tree shimmered on the pieces of silvery foil. The northern lights she had awaited in vain earlier in the month were now present in her family room, were now present on the body of the man she loved. She had faith that someday soon they would see the _aurora borealis_ in the skies over Alaska, or Canada, or maybe back in Scandinavia; for now, she would wonder at its reproduction on her husband.

He held out a hand to her, summoning her to his radiance. She undid the knot at her waist, slipped the gossamer shift from her shoulders, and walked into his arms.

As they slipped to the floor, they realized that while tonight could not yet be a night for new life, it would be a night for reaffirming the ongoing love between them, for reaffirming the hopes for growing closer to each other, for trusting that life would bring them many good things to share and nothing so bad that their love could not conquer.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"_God Danced the Day You Were Born_"

– attributed to Richard Kramer

God danced the day you were born.

You are loved, you are beautiful, you are gift of God, His own possession.

You are gift to all mankind, His gift of love to them, You are His.


	47. Having Fun Trying

**Having Fun Trying**

CJ/Danny

Rating Adult –

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

_May 4, 2011; Santa Monica - UCLA Medical Center, Santa Monica, CA_

Scott Winkler stepped off the elevator and headed toward the physicians' lounge. He had just finished delivering one healthy baby and had about 45 minutes before the other mother-to-be under his care would be fully dilated. There's nothing like bringing a beautiful, healthy, and wanted baby into this world, he thought. It sure makes up for all the nastiness this profession can sometimes bring.

Case in point: this morning, Jean Delray and her daughter Madison.

When asked why she had made the appointment for her daughter, Mrs. Delray told him that Madison would be 15 next month and it was time to get her on birth control pills.

After having his nurse escort Mrs. Delray from his office and into the waiting room, Scott talked with Madison. No, she wasn't sexually active and didn't foresee herself becoming so in the immediate future. Sure, she knew some girls in her class at school supposedly were, but they were all dating older boys, seniors, out of school, or in college. No, she didn't really date. Her crowd wasn't paired off one to one; when they went to dances or parties, they went as a group and all the girls danced with all the boys. Yes, if and when the situation changed, she felt that she could talk with her mom and arrange for contraception. Yes, she was aware that there was more to be concerned about than getting pregnant before she was emotionally and financially ready to have a child; she knew about STDs. No, she didn't carry a couple of condoms with her; if anyone else found out, wouldn't they think that she was willing? Yes, maybe she ought to think about that a bit more because her life might be more important than gossip. No, she knew nothing at all about them and yes, maybe it would be good for the nurse to give her a little "show and tell" session so when she was ready to buy some condoms, she would know what to look for and when she was ready to be in a situation where she might have to use one, she would know all the details of doing so. Again, her life was in her hands and she had to be prepared in case the boy wasn't.

While the nurse went through her little session with Madison and then took her vital signs and prepared her for an examination, Scott returned some phone calls and prepared himself not to be too harsh with Madison's mother when he spoke with her at the end of the visit. He also smiled as he realized that he had pinpointed Madison's age to within one year as soon as he heard her name. She was the sixth "Madison" he had seen this year. And most of them were like young Ms. Delray – not quite ready for an intimate relationship. Unfortunately, two of them succumbed to peer pressure, resulting in one untimely pregnancy and two depressed little girls. Only one had entered into an intimate relationship because she and the young man felt they were ready for such a move. He had fitted that particular Madison with a diaphragm and made sure that she knew she needed to use condoms as well.

In the examining room, he showed Madison how to check her breasts. Although it was extremely rare, breast cancer at a very young age was not unheard of, and it would be a good idea for her to have an idea of what her breasts felt like so that she could be aware of any changes.

He asked her about her periods. She was pretty regular, but varied between 27 and 29 days. She usually had some cramps (he advised her to avoid extra salty things for the week before she was due to start) and she did use tampons for sanitary protection ("Make sure you change them 3 or 4 times a day. It might be a good idea to use pads at night. And if you feel the least bit sick or have a fever, let your folks know and get in to see me or someone else.")

He examined her external genitalia. Madison's hymen had been stretched a bit by the use of the tampons but was still present. He saw no reason to examine her with a speculum, but did use his pinky fingers to check for any cysts between her vagina and her lower bowel. ("This may feel weird, but it's the best way to make sure everything is okay.") Using a mirror, he showed her what was what and told her what to look for in the way of abnormalities.

He asked her if she had any questions and answered those she did have.

When Madison was dressed and back in his office, he asked Jean to join them.

"I'm not going to prescribe birth control pills for Madison. She is not sexually active and she does not foresee being so in the immediate future. She and her friends have not paired off. Madison could easily have almost 40 years of fertility before her and I can't justify prescribing hormones when she doesn't need them. Madison tells me that you and she have a good rapport and that when the time comes, she would be very comfortable coming to you for assistance or obtaining a prescription on her own."

Scott's ears still burned at the tirade from Madison's mother.

"I'm sorry that you feel your time was wasted, Jean. Of course, you are free to take her somewhere else and if you feel you need to find another doctor for yourself, we will of course forward copies of your records to him or her."

He stood up and opened the office door. "Anita," he told his office assistant, "there will be no charge for Madison today." Then, as the older woman stormed toward the door, he told Madison to feel free to call him if she ever needed advice or help.

He supposed that Jean Delray thought she was trying to do the best thing for her daughter, but there was a difference between not being a prude and pushing one's child into sex.

"Hey, Scott."

He looked up and saw Danny Concannon walking from the cafeteria.

"Hey, Danny. What are you doing here?"

"Pete Dieliczko, from down the street, is here for a colonoscopy. His wife had to work so I'm the designated driver."

"And did you ever get yours?"

"Yep. Two weeks after CJ's. And all the other stuff. EKG, PSA levels, the whole nine yards."

When Scott was running CJ through all her tests before giving them the okay to start trying for another baby, he found out that Danny hadn't been to a doctor since his initial fertility tests right before their wedding. The doctor insisted that CJ's husband start seeing a doctor on a yearly basis. "Don't you know that part of the reason men tend to die younger than women is because men neglect their routine health care? Don't you want to be around for this child the two of you want?"

So Danny had taken the Ob-Gyn's advice. He found out that his overall cholesterol was okay but that his good cholesterol was a tad low, that his blood pressure was fine, and that his eyes had changed since his last eye exam ("Maybe right before the incident at Rosslyn.")

"So how are things with you and CJ?"

"Well, you know my wife. She's not content with just the ovulation kits, she's keeping temperature charts and doing that thing with mucous." Danny's face indicated his discomfort with the last issue.

"It's only been a couple of months!" Scott sighed in exasperation. "You know, for most of my couples, I don't want them doing anything special for the first year, other than not using any birth control. I tell 'em to just go at it like rabbits."

"Well, we're dong that," Danny laughed easily, "except for those days when she tells me I get my one shot every 36 hours." He referred to the results of his sperm recovery tests. "And during that time, she does the thing with the pillow afterward.

"Anyway, we just found out that her former assistant Margaret, the one who married right before Christmas, is pregnant. And of course, everyone knows about Mrs. Santos. When you add that to her other former assistant Carol having a little girl in January, and Hank and Steve becoming parents in a couple of months, it's babies, babies, nothing but babies. Plus she thinks that the November baby bonanza got started on Valentine's Day a year ago and we could have, well - "

Scott was still at peace with his decision not to tell CJ and Danny that the "heavy, late period" she experienced about thirteen months ago while overseas was in all likelihood a spontaneous miscarriage of a baby conceived along with the ones her friends gave birth to this past autumn. There was nothing to be done about it, and it would only cause sorrow and thoughts of what might have been.

"Danny, it would be better if you could get her to relax, at least for a few months."

"**You** know that. **I** know that. But try - "

"Paging Dr. Winkler, Dr. Scott Winkler. Please report to the Labor Hall."

"Gotta go. Look, try to have fun trying." The Ob-Gyn headed toward the elevators, humming "Yessir, That's My Baby!"

A few hours later, having taken Pete to Harry's for lunch and then home, Danny walked into the courtyard of his house. Looking through the glass walls of the family room, he saw that CJ and Paddy were on the deck. Paddy and Maggie were in the kiddie pool and CJ was staring off into the western sky, ignoring the book opened on her lap.

"Dada!" Paddy stood up and held up his arms for a hug.

"Unca." Maggie imitated her pool partner.

Danny picked up the both of them, not caring that his shirt and pants got wet. After some wet kisses and wetter hugs, the two kids indicated that they wanted to be back in the pool, so he obliged.

"Hey, you." He bent down to kiss CJ, and then caught the wistful look in her eyes. He knew without asking that she had proof that she was not pregnant.

"I'm sorry, honey." He pulled on her arms to get her off the glider, sat down, and pulled her into his lap. For a while, they just sat there, comforting each other.

"Honey, I ran into Scott at the hospital. He really thinks we shouldn't be putting so much into our timing just yet. He thinks we should just relax for a few months."

"Danny, I'm not getting any younger. If I were 30, sure, hell, if I were 40, but - ".

"I know, love, but I don't want you becoming desperate."

"I won't Danny."

But I think you are, my love, he said to himself. He thought about what he didn't tell Scott. That for the past two months, the three or four times they made love during her "fertile time", she wasn't able to climax on her own. He could see her eyes, trying and trying, and then her whispered statement of defeat. "Help me, Danny."

And he would put his hand between them and take her to fulfillment.

For the first part of the month and the last part of the month, she was fine.

Of course, during those other times, if they were in certain positions, he needed to help her. But from the time after he convinced her that she hadn't "missed the window" in January of 2007 and then their new life in California, he hadn't had to do so when they were "missionaries". They had easily found the angles, the movement, the pressure she needed from his shaft, from his groin.

Until now.

Well, he reasoned, there was nothing he could do about it for another 10 to 14 days, certainly nothing he could do about it now, except to let her know that she was loved and cherished.

"So, how long do we have the girlfriend?" He looked at Paddy and Maggie, their nude little bodies dappled with sun and water.

"For another hour or so. Diana had to take Mike and Steve to the dentist after school and Carmen is in dance class."

"Do you want to go lie down? I can watch them."

"Maybe in a bit. Right now, I like sitting here with you." She slipped her butt off his lap onto the cushion beside him so that her legs were over his and tucked her head into the crook of his neck.

"Oh, Danny, Erik Debeer called. The closing is set for three weeks from yesterday."

"Good. I'll be done with teaching and done with my finals. Could we spend two weeks up there?"

"I don't see why not. It'd be great."

They had finally found a place in northern California, outside a small town called Albion. With the money they had received from the Ogilvie clan for the land that Brianna had willed to Danny, they were able to put down half the cost of the property.

The house had an open "great room" with a wood-burning fireplace and kitchen plus two bedrooms and a bath on the main floor. There was a lofted room plus another bath over the bedrooms and a small mini-loft area over the outside edge of the great room that could hold two twin beds. They could theoretically sleep eight people without having to put anyone in the great room.

There was a huge deck outside. The people who were selling the place threw in ("Hell, we'll knock $100.00 off the price if you'll keep it") a "pop up" tent trailer for overflow accommodations. The property had lots of trees but the deck got a fair amount of sunshine and had a hot tub. The owners before the current owners used a small 12-foot diameter, 4 foot deep above ground pool on one corner of the deck. Although the house was in a wooded section of town, there was electricity (underground) and city water.

It was an eight hour drive, which meant that weekend only usage was out (unless they flew to Eureka), but it was an easy one day's trip, even with Paddy.

"Anything else?" Danny played with her hair.

"Emailed pictures from Carol and Margaret. I forwarded them to you." She winced a little as she answered.

"You go lie down. I'll bring in the kids and get you some tea and stuff."

Since going off the pill, she had been experiencing some discomfort at the onset of her periods. It was nothing like the pain she had when they first became intimate, before the effect of her "very, very, regular orgasms" relieved the symptoms, but it did bother her. Well, he reflected, during their four years of marriage, she had been either pregnant or on hormones for all but the first three months, the three months between the stillborn birth of the twins and Paddy's conception, and now these past six months. Maybe the effect of his "natural healing power" wasn't all he thought it was.

He took the kids into the nursery, dried and diapered the both of them, and set them in the crib. They promptly fell asleep, holding hands.

Rummaging through the master bath closet, he found the heating pad and brought it to the bed for her, along with some acetaminophen and a glass of water. No, she didn't need any tea just now, but he was sweet to ask.

Opening a beer and grabbing some nuts (and a walkie-talkie that connected to the nursery), he took his laptop into the courtyard and opened the forwarded emails and attachments.

Carol and David had their "premature" (at least, that's what they told Mrs. Fitzgerald) baby girl, Clarissa Jean, in early January and the photos showed a miniature version of Carol with dark hair and David's golden brown eyes. Carol had returned to work in early March.

With Helen Santos' approval (and with her own baby due in mid-July, who was surprised), Margaret had organized on-site day care for White House staffers (a special boon considering the long hours many of them had to work) and Carol was able to continue to nurse her little daughter with little inconvenience. Some people thought it was a lure to get Donna back to work sooner than she had planned, but Margaret and the First Lady said that it had been in the works for some time and that Donna would be welcomed back when, and only when, she was ready to do so, with or without Noah, Leo, Joanie, and Micah.

Then two weeks ago, John and Margaret Hoynes had announced that they were expecting a son "right around Halloween" and everyone started talking about the "Babies are Us" White House. The email from Margaret was probably a copy of the ultrasound. Click. Click again. It was.

He looked at the rest of his mail, deleting some, flagging some others.

He opened the one from Erin.

His sister was very happy. The family was looking forward to their trip to California later this summer and to seeing the "Little House on the Prairie" cabin that CJ and Danny were buying.

Aisling was still doing very well and was looking forward to her final year in secondary school. She would really like to attend St. Andrew's in Scotland. Apparently, her interest in attending university in the States had waned, although she did still correspond with that nice young man at Notre Dame that she met at the beach. In fact, the lad was coming to Ireland this summer and planned to visit.

Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles, Fiona had settled down, living at home and attending classes at the University of Limerick. For the past two months, she was dating one of the professors (not one of **her** teachers, someone she happened to meet at a social gathering after Mass one Saturday). The man's name was Brendan Collins and he was a very good influence on Fee. Erin had some qualms because of the age difference (Brendan was about 40), but the man brooked no nonsense from the girl. Maybe Fee was one of those women who needed a father image in a man. Robin almost dropped his glass of whiskey the first time Brendan came to the house to fetch Fiona; the man asked Robin what Fiona's curfew was. They hadn't been able to keep Fee to a curfew since she was seventeen. Although he looked like a pirate, Brendan taught mechanical engineering courses.

But the best news of all, as far as Erin was concerned, was that Robin would no longer be flying full-time as a commercial jet pilot. He was moving into training and pilot recertification. He would still spend some time on trips to keep up his certification and to certify other pilots. However, he would only be away from home five or six nights a month, and never for more than one night at a time.

The doorbell rang. Diana Muñoz was there to claim her younger daughter. No, she didn't have much time, she had to get the kids fed and she and Frank were going out to dinner with someone else El Segundo and his wife. And would Danny remind CJ that they were supposed to get together tomorrow to plan the food for the baby shower that the block was throwing for Hank and Steve on Sunday?

Of course, now that Maggie was gone, Paddy wanted to be up and about, wanted someone to pay attention to him, so Danny scooped him out of the crib, put him in a romper, and returned to the courtyard. (CJ was still napping.) Deciding that it was the sound of his voice that mattered more than the words being spoken, Danny read aloud from one of the papers he was grading, trying not to let Paddy's interest, or lack thereof, affect his decision between "B" and "B-Plus" for the grade. (The next one was between "B-Plus" and "A-Minus". There was no doubt about the next five, a "C", two "B"'s and two "A"'s.)

_Monday, May 16, 2011; Culver City, CA_

Free!!

Danny Concannon left the campus of West LA Community College for the last time as an instructor. His final grades were submitted and his separation papers signed.

He had turned in his finals at USC earlier in the week. Except for his biweekly op-ed piece that was syndicated through the _LA Times_, he had no obligations for the summer and he intended to keep it that way. His publisher was flying out tomorrow with a "the deal of a lifetime", but Danny had decided that unless it truly was such an opportunity, he was going to take a true summer vacation, the kind he last had when he was fourteen. He hadn't been able to convince CJ to totally abandon her work with "Road to a Better World", but he had bargained her down to three mornings a week, two weeks out of the month. Plus most of July was booked for vacation. They would spend time at home, at the new place in Albion (with invited guests), with Ginger and Rick in Cape May (and a couple of days at Rehoboth), with Josh and Donna in Widewater Beach, and maybe even in New Hampshire with the Bartlet's (the former President wasn't getting any younger and CJ saw the man as the father she had to neglect for the country.)

But first, tonight. It was his opening salvo in Operation Relax CJ.

They had already planned to dine out tonight in celebration of the end of the academic year. Paddy would be staying with Frank and Diana. Then CJ let him know that tonight would be the start of "our window". Well, Mrs. Concannon, he thought, you will be taken by surprise. He had many wonderful and delightful plans for her, not just for tonight, not just for "the window", but also for the summer. He was looking forward to implementing them.

He placed a quick call to Hank to remind him about the favors Danny was requesting, both tonight and the one he would need for Wednesday morning.

_Later that evening; Santa Monica, CA_.

"Danny? We didn't leave lights on. Should we call the police?"

"It's okay, part of my plan to celebrate. I have helpers."

After their celebratory dinner and drive home, CJ and Danny walked slowly across the courtyard and toward their bedroom. Once they had entered the house, Danny stopped to kiss his wife. When she put her arms around his neck, he scooped her up and carried her into the bedroom.

There were electric candles all around the room. The bedcovers had been turned down and another sheet covered the regular bottom one.

Danny lowered CJ to her feet and began to remove her clothes and his. When they were nude, he pushed her to the bed and picked up the bottle of citrus-cinnamon massage oil.

"On your stomach, Jeannie," he softly ordered.

_Even later._

She stretched like a cat, and opened her eyes. Danny was lying on his side beside her, his head propped up on his forearm and hand.

"Hi there, beautiful," he smiled at her.

"Hi yourself, wonder man."

After massaging her back, arms, and legs, he had teased her to the edge of frustration. He had been inside her for some time, reciting to himself the names of the fifty state and their capitols in order of entrance into the union when she made her plea for help. Rather than putting his hand between them, he withdrew and lowered his mouth to her core.

When she had climaxed on his mouth, he entered her again and began again to build his and her need. Again, she had asked for help, and again he had responded by leaving her and using his tongue to give her satisfaction.

The third time inside her, she had quaked, shuddered, and moaned his name; a second or two later, he exploded inside her, breathing her name into her ear.

_Tuesday afternoon_.

Danny let himself into the courtyard. CJ was in the hot tub.

"You've got the temperature low enough?" Scott had told her she could use the spa if the temperature was under 95 degrees.

"Yes. I'm sorry; I meant to be out by the time you got back." Danny's urologist wanted him to avoid the tub until they were successfully pregnant. "I had some pains."

He told her he was sorry and she said she was considering it ovulation pain and didn't mind. She rose from the tub and put on her robe. They walked arm in arm to the kitchen where she poured each of them an iced tea.

"So, did you tell Curtis that you weren't interested in another book right now?"

"We-el-lll,"

She knew that the proposed subject was one that must be very important if Danny was considering it. He had been so adamant about concentrating on his degree.

"Who?"

"A bishop."

"A bishop? Which one?"

"The one in Rome; always wears white."

"The Pope! Danny, the Pope wants you to write his story?" She jumped up and kissed him.

"I didn't turn them down outright." He kissed her back.

"Why would you?"

"It's not so much me turning them down as them not agreeing to my terms. I would want final authority to publish anything I found, no matter how disturbing."

"Well, even if they didn't want it in the book, they couldn't keep you from making things known in another source."

"He could excommunicate me."

"You asked for a 'no excommunication' deal?"

"Yep."

"Well, even if you don't write it, I'm proud of you." She began to kiss him more amorously. "Let's go celebrate. Paddy's napping. We have fifteen minutes." She got up and pulled him toward the bedroom.

"We can't; not till tomorrow morning."

"Hell." Her face fell as she remembered the timing. "Okay, let's do the next best thing."

She went to the refrigerator and pulled out a chocolate cheesecake.

_Wednesday morning_.

Some sort of insect was flitting about her face. She could feel it on her nose, on her eyes, on her mouth. She moved her hand to chase the insect from her.

She opened her eyes. Danny was sitting cross-legged beside her, a huge purple feather plume in his hand.

"Where did you find that?"

"Hank. It's artificial, of course. But let's not talk about it, okay." He ran the feather down her face and lightly between her breasts. Next, he circled her left nipple and then her right. By the time he was moving down past her abdomen toward her navel, she was almost to delirium.

As had happened Monday evening he moved inside her and she asked for help. This time when he withdrew, he replaced his body with the feather, first the silken plume and then, very carefully, very delicately, the delicate point barely touching her as it circled the critical mass of her core. In a few minutes, she was arching off the bed and awash in waves of satisfaction.

This time, they climaxed together. It was not cannon and fireworks, but it was satisfaction and it was mutual.

_Thursday evening_

"The window" was in its second half and Danny was about to start act three of Operation Relax CJ.

The woman in question was in the nursery, reading to their son. The man in question entered the bedroom, carrying a trivet and a small saucepan, which he set by the bed. Again, the bedclothes were turned down; again, another sheet was spread over the bed.

Danny undressed and adjusted the lighting of the room to his satisfaction. Then he sat on the bed. He was a patient man and would wait for his wife to finish her time with their son.

She entered the dimly lit bedroom. Her eyes were drawn to the sight of her husband, waiting her. He had stood at her entrance and even if they weren't "on a mission", the sight of him and his obvious desire for her was enough to cause her body to ready itself for him.

She began removing her clothing as she approached the bed and was nude when she reached it. She sat on the edge and pulled him down beside her. Her eyes closed as they fell onto the sheets and she anticipated the feel of his hands on her, his mouth on her, his moustache and beard on her.

What she felt was a brushing and a somewhat syrupy liquid, like undiluted shampoo or body wash. She opened her eyes. Danny was painting her body with a golden brown substance. She wiped a finger across her stomach and put it in her mouth.

"Butterscotch?"

"Chocolate is so last year," he grinned.

"There's something else." She wrinkled her brow.

"Whiskey."

"Well, when Angus puts it on the market, you make sure he pays you royalties on the net profits." She pulled the brush from his hand and began to cover a certain part of his body. Caramel covered apples had nothing on caramel covered ---.

This time, once was enough.

_Saturday morning_.

The end of "the window". Beginning this morning until the next window (unless another one wasn't needed) Danny wasn't limited to "once every 36 hours".

This time, there were no tricks. With his years of experience, of knowing and loving this woman, he tenderly but efficiently brought her to mellow desire. She in turn raised his need for her to a critical point. This time, their coupling was sweet and tight. Once he entered her, he moved round and round but barely broke the tight seal between his groin and hers until they approached the ultimate point together.

Afterward, he pulled her with him to the side and they lay there together, indulging in the little signs of post-peak affection: kisses on her brow, her eyelids, kisses on his chest, his neck. They dozed for a while.

"Danny?"

"Umm?" He woke from his slumber and began kissing her again, this time on her hair. His body prepared itself to want her again and his mind knew that there were no longer any restrictions.

"These past few days, they've been so, so - "

"Yes, they have. I'm glad you liked them."

"I'm not complaining, but why?"

"Because you've been on the verge of turning these four days every month into a job, into something about which to be nervous."

"Just because I need help sometimes? It's been this way, sometimes, from the very beginning."

"CJ." He turned over so he could stare into her eyes. No, that wasn't enough. His knee gently separated hers and he came between them. Gently, he entered her and pushed into her as far as possible.

Buried to the hilt, he raised himself to his elbows and put a hand on either side of her face.

"Once we settled everything, once we came to California, you've never needed help when we are like this. Until March, when Scott said to put away the diaphragm. And even since then, it's only during these few days. Last week, you were fine. Last month, you were fine after. I'm well aware of the _post hoc, ergo propter hoc_ fallacy, but combined with the thermometer, the test kits, the calendar, and that mucous thing, can you honestly tell me that I'm totally off base?"

Even if she wanted to, there was no way she could lie to him when they were like this. She moved her head from side to side.

"I'm sorry. I just want another baby so much." Tears began to form in her eyes. He quickly kissed them away.

"I know, my love. So do I. But we have to give it time."

"I don't know why you can be so calm about it."

He decided against reminding her of Mariah, because he wasn't sure if CJ still believed what he had told her about the strange nurse who was with him when the twins were stillborn. Nor did he want to tell her that Aisling had told him to "trust in the lady".

"Because, my darling Jeannie, with regard to this, I just put my faith in God."

"God helps those who help themselves."

"Yes, She does. And we **are** helping. I have no problem with checking your temperature, your schedule, with waiting for my guys to completely replenish themselves, with sticking to one position. I have no problem with trying, but can't we have a little fun while trying? Speaking of which," his smile turned devilish, "as long as I'm in the neighborhood - ". He kissed her and began to move.

Her arms came around him. "You might as well make yourself at home."


	48. How I Spent My Summer Vacation

**How I Spent My Summer Vacation**

CJ/Danny, Josh/Donna, Jed/Abbey, Charlie/Zoey, Will/Kate, Toby/Andi, Margaret/Hoynes, and just about everyone else in TWW (and my) universe

Rating—older teen (some sex); warning – death of author-created characters

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

I've tried to be accurate about the places in this chapter, but times for sunrises, sunsets, tides, and phases of the moon are mere conjecture

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

_June 4, 2011; outside Livermore CA_

Danny passed the semi-trailer truck and eased back into the right-hand lane of I-5. He glanced over at CJ, saw her weepy eyes, and reached over to clasp her hand.

She turned to face him and smiled weakly. "Do you want me to take over for a while?"

They had been on the road for almost four hours, having left their new northern California "getaway" at Albion at 7:30 this morning. They still had another five hours of travel time left.

"Let's break for lunch in an hour. If you feel up to it, you can take over for a bit after that. The trip should be pretty uneventful through Bakersfield." He wanted to do the heavy driving at the end of the trip; CJ was rather upset.

Not that he was that much better. Late yesterday afternoon, they had been enjoying the deck with its hot tub when his cell rang. It was Frank Muñoz with the terrible news that Dick and Angela Jenkins, on their way back from taking Heather to a Girl Scout sleep-away camp, had been hit by a runaway truck and had been killed. So they were headed back to Santa Monica a few days earlier than they had planned.

Now Jimmy and Timmy, who lost their mother 7 years ago, would have to bury their father and their stepmother, and assume responsibility for their young half-sister. The twins had graduated from the University of California's San Francisco Medical center and were in their residency programs, Jimmy at UCLA and Timmy down in Long Beach.

It was a little before 7:00 PM when Danny pulled into their drive at Santa Monica. Steve and Hank were sitting on their front porch, so Danny went over to talk with them to find out the latest. He took his son with him. The two year old had been confined to his car seat for most of the day and needed to run off some of his stored up energy. Luckily, the men had a fenced in front lawn, with only a couple of tasteful sculptures and fountains; there were no ponds into which Cyclone Paddy could fall.

Hank went into the house to get Danny a beer.

"So do we know any more about – CJ, I'll take care of bringing in the suitcases!" Danny began to question Steve about the tragedy and then shouted at his wife when he saw her with a satchel over one shoulder, pulling a large rolling duffel bag with the opposite hand.

"Apparently the truck driver had a heart attack and died at the wheel. He was on a downgrade, which is why it sped up and took out Dick's Ultima. The highway patrol said it was a miracle that it didn't cause any more fatalities. Not that it was much of a miracle for Dick and Angela," Steve added ruefully.

"It's just so unfair." Hank set Danny's bottle next to the man's right hand and then went to grab Paddy, who was starting to climb into one of the fountains. "The boys are beginning the most hectic part of their training and now they have the responsibility of raising Heather. Of course, we'll all be here for them. Clara's staying with them right now, and Angela's brother and his wife will be here tomorrow."

"Have they made any plans for – CJ! I said I'd do it!" Danny stood up and took his son from Hank's arms. "I'd better get going. You know, I would never want to go back to the nineteenth century or the Middle Ages, but I sure wish they had left 'obey' in the woman's marriage vows." Danny laughed and headed to the Concannon residence.

_June 9, 2011; Santa Monica, CA_

"CJ, is there any more roast beef?" Laura Robbins came into the Jenkins kitchen carrying a picked-over platter of meat.

"Some. There's just a bit more ham, too. Should we go out for more? There's still lots of turkey."

Aviva Hammash looked up from the sink where she was emptying glasses and putting them in the dishwasher. "When I was out there, no one looked as if they were in danger of starving to death. It's been five hours and I think the crowd will begin to thin out. To my knowledge, turkey is not on many restricted foods lists, either religious or dietary." She wiped her hands and started the dishwasher.

Diana Muñoz was filling in the empty spaces on a veggie tray. "I'll take this out and I'll tell our husbands and kids to lay off the beef and ham and eat the turkey. It's better for them, anyway."

CJ unlatched the lock on the side of the spring form pan she was holding and set the herbal cheesecake on the plate. She surrounded it with some dried tomato flavored crackers.

"I remember that Halloween party Danny and I had three years ago this fall, when Dick brought one of these and we tasted it for the first time. Danny told me to sleep with Dick if I had to in order to get the recipe." She wiped a tear from her eye.

Aviva came over to the island where CJ and Laura were working and put an arm around each of them. "Come on, let's take out those platters and mingle."

The double funeral for Dick and Angela had taken place this morning and the wake/reception had been going on since a little after 1:00 PM. There were the plates of meat and cheese, as well as lettuce, onion, and tomato for sandwiches, the vegetable tray, spinach dip in a bread bowl, the ubiquitous array of chips, salsa, and queso, and more cakes, cookies, and pies than would you find in a Sara Lee factory. The neighborhood was not the only source of the food – the Jenkins' church sent over most of the sweet stuff and the homeroom moms for Heather's class at school provided the chips and dip – but the block took care of organizing everything.

CJ felt Danny's eyes on her and she looked up to see him asking the silent question: are you okay? She said something to Aviva and walked up to her husband as he joined a group that consisted of Hank and Steve, Frank and Diana, Sally and Billy Rogers, and Joel and Hannah Feldman.

Danny slipped his arm around her waist. "You off KP duty for a while?"

"Yeah." She laid her head briefly against his shoulder. "Have you been staying out of trouble?"

"Just finished a shift at the bar," he replied, glancing over at the table where Ken Robbins and his son Drew were now pouring out shots, glasses of wine, and building pints of Guinness from the keg. He looked at the group. "Has anyone talked with the kids lately?"

Everyone looked over to where Timmy, Jimmy, and Heather sat, accepting the wishes of their parents' friends, coworkers, and distant relatives. They knew that "kids" referred to the three of them and not to the younger children of the neighborhood, who were being watched by Jessica, Yan and Li Wei, and high school seniors to be Jill Robbins and Becky Feldman over at CJ and Danny's place.

"I spent a few minutes with them about an hour ago," Frank answered. They're still running on adrenaline. They meet tomorrow with Dick and Angela's lawyer, a woman in Ken's firm. I understand that some of the relatives want to horn in on that meeting, but since it isn't a formal reading of the will, she is insisting that for now, it just be with the kids."

"I'll be there, too," Steve added. "I helped Dick with his accounts and we just want to make sure that everything is flowing smoothly until it all gets settled. As the boys said last night, unless Dick has filed a new will in the last three months, they have shared custody of Heather and they are determined to make it work."

"But they're so young!" Sally exclaimed. "They're only twenty-six; that's too young for anyone to be handling a little girl on the verge of adolescence, let alone being a second-year resident."

"Well, at least they should have no trouble giving her 'the talk', if Angela hadn't already done so," Diana laughed. "I remember how hard it was for me with Carmen, and I consider myself a thoroughly modern woman."

"It's not just the facts, it's getting the first bra, when to start shaving legs and pits, that sort of thing," CJ opined. "It was before Dad married my first stepmother and I remember being embarrassed to ask my father and him being somewhat embarrassed when I finally got up the courage."

"We have to make sure that they know that the women are all here for them, to help with bras and periods and zits and boys, when to allow heels, and makeup, what fashion crazes are okay and what aren't, " Sally said.

"Well, when it comes to clothes and makeup - ," Hank laughed.

"You will be so busy with that little bundle that the stork is about to bring the two of you, you won't have time to worry about your own clothes, let alone someone else's," CJ answered.

"They'll need our help, too, especially with discipline." Frank looked over at Joel. "The first time they have to tell her 'no', or ground her, it'll be rough."

Joel nodded in agreement; Danny, Billy, Hank, and Steve looked thoughtful. They weren't yet at that stage of fatherhood, but they knew their day would arrive all too soon.

"From what I understand, Jimmy was able to get out of his lease, after explaining the situation, and he'll stay here. Timmy is keeping a room closer to Long Beach, but will be here whenever he can. Clara's offered to stay in the house for the summer. The best thing, long-term, would be to find an older female graduate student to be something like _au pair_. She'd have to be mature enough to realize that she is there for Heather and not be looking at Jimmy, or Timmy, for that matter, as husband material."

"But they're young men. They can't be expected to give up their social life. What about dating, or, you know?" Billy asked.

"Once again, we need to let them know that they have all of us to fall back on, if necessary. Now, who needs another drink?" Danny looked around at everyone else.

_June 19, 2011; San Luis Obispo, CA_

CJ, Bonnie, and Sarita Hollis sat around the Hollis kitchen table, trying to console a weeping Nancy. She and Jesse Muñoz had just had a huge fight, with Jesse throwing his things into his car and taking off for Los Angeles, leaving Nancy and CJ behind.

A few days after the Jenkins' funeral, CJ convinced Danny to take Paddy back to Albion; this was supposed to be his return to his fourteenth summer. She would drive to San Luis Obispo for the Hollis Foundation board meeting a few days later with Nancy and Jesse. ("Sure, we'll keep special watch," Hank and Steve told Danny.) Then the three of them would drive up the coast and the Concannons would have their first houseguests. The only thing Danny insisted on is that he not be around when CJ told Mr. Estevez that there were separate sleeping arrangements available, with Nancy in the loft room over the first floor bedrooms and Jesse in the loft area over the living room. "It's my version of 'Don't ask, don't tell', such as it is," he said. "I don't want to be put in the position of saying I'll enforce something over which I may have no control."

But the course of true love often runs into roadblocks.

"Don't worry about it, sweetie. All couples have disagreements." CJ stroked the long blonde hair of the distraught girl. "Right before the end of the administration, Danny and I had one so bad I thought everything was lost forever, and look at us now. And it hasn't been all beer and skittles since then, either."

"He'll come around," Sarita added. "My brothers are just like him – can't totally shake that Latin macho thing."

"He might. But in the meantime, I'm going to have to go home by myself and try to explain to my parents. My father was bad enough about him and me taking this trip in the first place, and now - ," she left the sentence unfinished as she sniffled again and blew her nose.

"Who says you have to go home?" Bonnie asked as she cut the Sara Lee cheesecake into four pieces, put them on plates, and handed out the comfort food. "Why don't you borrow my car, and you and CJ can drive up to her place, you can stay a few days, and then come back. And you can stay with us for a while if you like. It might do Jesse some good to not have you trailing back to LA after him right away."

CJ swallowed the bite in her mouth. "The only problem with that is my Victorian husband. He'd have a shit fit over Nancy and me driving up the coast alone and an even bigger one about her coming back by herself."

"Then we'll have the Foundation fly the two of you up there. You know Frank, he'd insist on it himself even if Danny didn't. The airfield at Mendocino is close, right?

"How'd I get home?" Nancy wondered, half to herself.

"If you don't want to stay until the 26th, when we go back to Santa Monica before taking off for the East coast, I think someone flies commercial out of Santa Rosa, it's only two hours from the house," CJ answered. "Now, let's figure out what you need to do, or not do, when he comes crawling back to you."

A few hours later, when Frank had arranged for the plane, CJ called Danny to let him know what had transpired and what would be happening.

"So Nancy and I will be - ".

"**Not** driving up here by yourselves, CJ," Danny said sharply.

"God damn it, Danny, after four years, don't you think I know that," she answered just as sharply. "We'll be flying into the airport at Mendocino tomorrow. You'll need to meet us at 12:30."

She could hear the forced exhale. "I'm sorry, babe," Danny said. "It's been a frustrating day. The new beds were delivered yesterday and I was trying to move stuff around, a bit at a time. But keeping up with a two year-old – where does he get the energy? – and keeping him out of trouble is impossible."

"Well, I remember reading somewhere that they had some football player mimic a toddler and the guy was exhausted. Nancy and I will be there tomorrow to help."

"I was kind of counting on Jesse. The mattresses are really guy jobs. The other stuff, I figured out how to use ropes and stuff to get the head boards and frames from one floor to the next."

When CJ and Danny had closed on the place in Albion, they talked about how to furnish the sleeping areas other than their own. They would have a portable crib for Paddy, moving it from the second bedroom on the main floor to their room when necessary.

"But do we want to put in two twins or one queen down here and upstairs? Our guests will vary. " Danny had posed the question.

CJ had suggested that in the downstairs bedroom and the big loft room, they put in one double bed and one twin bed. "That way, we can accommodate couples, if they don't mind snuggling a bit closer than usual, and singles both. Especially since we've decided to close off the big loft and make a private room out of it. But in the little loft, let's do two twins. That will be bachelor quarters."

"Anyway," he said, "I guess I can wait until August until Robin and Erin and the girls get here."

"Don't forget, Fee's guy might be coming also."

"Right. The man who tamed Fiona MacDonald. Can't wait to meet him, especially after what she put us through last fall. On another subject, I met the family that's three houses down from us, Phil and Jennifer Amberson. They have a little boy Paddy's age and a daughter who's six. They seem really nice, even offered to take Paddy for a bit. But I decided I'd rather have you meet them first, make sure we're both reading them as okay. They both teach at the local elementary school. He does carpentry on the side and you should see what he did with their pool; it's about the size of the one that was here. He built a wooden shell around the sides and fashioned a folding top that can lock over it the way the one on our hot tub does. So maybe we can get a pool and get him to make one for us?"

"We-ell-ll," CJ knew how much Danny wanted some sort of a pool at the place, "since I haven't gotten around to getting you a birthday present, with the funeral and all, and you **did** apologize for jumping to conclusions and yelling at me- "

"CJ, love, you know I am sorry about that and I promise to make it up – Paddy! No!".

CJ heard the sound of running feet (her husband's) and a giggle (her son's). When Danny got back on the phone, she told him she had best let him tend to their son and reminded him of her ETA on the next day. She would call if they were delayed; heck, she would call if they got in early, just in case.

"'Kay. Love you."

"Love you back."

_July 5, 2011; Santa Monica, CA_

"Steve, I think she has your eyes. She's gorgeous!" Danny looked at the tiny little girl in his arms. Hank and Steve's surrogate had given birth on June 30 and the men brought their daughter home earlier today.

"Hank is already designing her prom dresses and her wedding gown. I know they grow up fast, but I told him he's pushing it a bit." The proud new father couldn't take his eyes from his newborn daughter. "Make sure you've got her head."

"Steve, I'm an old hand at this," Danny reassured the man. Then, remembering his first few weeks with Paddy two years ago, he handed little Pamela Lauren to the man. "Here you go, sweetie. Go to Daddy."

Hank came into the living room with a pitcher of iced tea and glasses full of ice, which he set on the table. "How's my princess?" He looked over Steve's shoulder at the baby. "Aqua is your color, Pammy love. Gotta make you lots and lots of things in aqua. Yes, I do."

"Hank," CJ laughed. "Remember what we told you at the shower. For the first year or so, you don't want anything fancy! She'll be outgrowing things every time you turn around, not to mention spitting up on them. And the poop stains! That's why Diana, Sally, and I are lending you our things." She looked up to see the look in Hank's eyes. "Well, maybe just a couple of nice things for pictures, for meeting the grandparents."

"I know you're right, CJ. Steve and I are going to be really counting on you, Diana, and the others for lots of advice. Hey," his eyes brightened, "I'll redo the nursery in aqua!"

Danny looked at both men. Their clothes were wrinkled, their hair askew. They looked tired and worn. And their eyes were glowing.

"Guys, I can't begin to tell you how happy we all are for you. After everything that happened last month with Dick and Angela, it feels good to be celebrating new life on the block."

"Thank you, Danny. Hank and I feel so bad to be feeling so good when just across the street, Jimmy, Timmy, and Heather are trying to deal with their loss. They're going to need a lot of help."

"Well, that's what this block is good at," CJ added as she took the little girl from Steve. "Danny and I have talked about changing our plans. This is not the time for us to be away for almost two months." She looked at her husband, who nodded in agreement.

"No! You guys go on your coast to coast to coast odyssey. You've plotted and planned for this. You can pick up in the fall when Clara goes to Greece and the Wei's are in Taiwan."

"Ut-oh. Somebody needs a diaper change." CJ stood up and headed toward the nursery, telling the two men, who had stood and held out hands for their daughter, to sit down. "You guys will have more than enough of this in the months to come."

_July 15, 2011; Widewater Beach, VA_

Danny pulled off the beach road and onto the graveled driveway, so much like his own in northern California.

"You're here!"

Donna came out of the weatherworn house, carrying one of the triplets in her left arm. With the right, she hugged CJ as CJ climbed out from the passenger side. CJ returned the hug, then opened the back door of the car, and removed Paddy from his car seat as Danny came around and hugged Donna.

"Well, this is obviously Joannie," he said, looking at the baby in the pink romper.

"Leo, Noah, and Micah are in the house with Mom and Melanie. Melanie's one of the three girls are helping out when we're down here," Donna explained. "So, what do you think of the place? Let's go sit on the porch." She led the way up the path to the big wrap-around porch and headed toward the side of the house.

Danny looked out over the Potomac toward the other shore. "So that's Maryland over there?"

"Actually, Maryland officially starts a few feet off the river bank," Donna answered. "Josh can give you nerdy details tomorrow if you like. Oh, thanks, Mom. You remember CJ and Danny, and this is their Paddy, just a few weeks older than Noah."

Josh's mother came onto the porch with a huge pitcher of lemonade, glasses, and a pile of sandwiches.

"Of course I remember," she said, hugging the couple. "So, how was the drive across country? I remember driving from Connecticut to Florida once with Josh and Joannie when they were toddlers. At times, I thought Noah and I were crazy to attempt it."

"At this age, Paddy travels pretty well, but I think that if we were to do this again when he's older, it would be better in an SUV or a mini-van with DVD player, refrigerator, and other conveniences. We took five days, stopped and saw a few places", CJ answered.

"We'll be taking the northern route on the way back. After we leave New Hampshire, we're going to stop in Michigan to see some of my extended family," Danny added. "We'll end up in Albion at the new place for about ten days. My sister and her family will come in for a week. Our neighbors say that if they blink, they miss our forays into town. By the way, here's Hank and Steve with their little girl." He handed Donna his cell phone.

CJ smiled. Danny was indeed having the summer vacation he wanted. He had talked with Frank Hollis in private, and CJ was told to take off most of July as well as half of August, other than to check in by phone and email. When he told her that he wanted to drive across country and back for their trip to the East coast, she had been hesitant at first, but his boyish enthusiasm convinced her that it might be fun.

And it was. They left before dawn on the first day and drove to the Grand Canyon, where they spent most of the afternoon and part of the next morning. The second day was a short trip to Albuquerque. On the third day, they spent the night in Oklahoma City and then left at dawn again in order to spend the afternoon, evening, and next morning in Memphis. Their last night on the road was in a little bread and breakfast in the Great Smokies right by the Tennessee-Virginia border.

After a dinner of grilled chicken, steamed corn, tomato-cucumber-onion salad, and cantaloupe, Donna, Mrs. Lyman, CJ, and Danny sat on the porch watching the moon rise over the Potomac as it meandered its way toward the Chesapeake. The birds that were swirling around at sunset were replaced by a few bats as night settled on the cozy beach house. The sounds of five sleeping children, all breathing on a different rhythm, came through the baby monitor on the coffee table. A whimper turned into a full-fledged cry.

"I'll go; you visit." Mrs. Lyman left the porch.

Danny looked at Donna. She was wearing no makeup; her hair was pulled back into some sort of two-tiered pigtail. There was a big grease stain on the back of her shorts where she had sat on the peanut butter cracker that Paddy left on her chair and her tank top had crusty spots that smelled of stale milk.

But her face was glowing as it had that late September afternoon in the White House rose garden. It was the same glow he often saw on CJ's face; it was the same glow he had seen on Hank and Steve's faces earlier in the month. Only God knew what next year or future years might bring for Donnatella Moss Lyman; right now, she was as happy as Danny had ever seen her.

"Do you miss it, Donna?"

"Miss it isn't the right word, CJ. I know that I eventually want to be back in the mix, as it were, but right now, these children are my life, along with Josh, of course. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, but I wake up most of the time anticipating what new things the kids will do. Noah seems to learn a new word a day, seems to find a new bug every day. And the babies are moving along, each in their own way."

"Well, I'm sure that Mrs. Santos will be glad when you return next year."

"Actually, and this is wa-a-ay off the record," Donna looked at Danny, "I probably won't be going back to Helen's office."

CJ raised her eyebrows and Danny shrugged his shoulders. He suspected that there was something else in Donna's future. He also accepted the fact that he would always be a reporter, at least in the backs of his friends' minds, and no longer minded the "off the record" comments.

"So?" CJ used her hand to indicate that Donna should continue.

"The President and Nancy want me in State; the Democratic Governors will need a new managing executive for their conference and the President thinks I would be good for that also. Josh doesn't know yet," she looked at them anxiously. "I want to be sure in my own mind before I discuss it with him. I'm not sure if he's ready for me to take on something more stressful now that we have four kids. For that matter, I'm not sure if I'm ready. All I know is that Liz is doing a great job and that I want something else."

_July 16, 2011; Widewater Beach, VA_

Josh, Donna, CJ, and Danny were finishing their coffee in the little seaside restaurant. The Lymans had refused after-dinner drinks, even though CJ and Danny tried to convince them to order some.

"Just because we're teetotalers until I knock up my wife or die trying doesn't mean that you can't enjoy."

"That's okay, Danny. You're going to strike out with us just like you did with Mom."

Although Danny repeatedly asked her to join them, Mrs. Lyman insisted on staying home with the children and Leslie, who was the _au pair du jour_. "The four of you go, enjoy yourselves."

"I really want to thank the two of you for coming in early and staying with us," Josh said. "If I had to stay in DC with the President for another weekend of waiting for the First Lady's water to break, I'd be tearing out what little hair I have left." Helen Santos was four days' overdue with the First Couple's third child and the tension in both wings of the White House was mounting every second.

"It's strange to think that we're back here and won't be spending any real time in the city, just Tuesday afternoon and evening," Danny said. The plan was for the Concannons to caravan with Donna, Mrs. Lyman, and the Lyman brood to DC on Tuesday morning, and then to drive to Cape May on Wednesday. Josh would be going back before daybreak on Monday and would join them in New Jersey on Friday morning.

"Well, we'll be seeing everyone at Rick and Ginger's," CJ answered. "Mark and your reporter friends are at Rehoboth and Paul is in Columbus. There's no one to visit and we've done all the monuments."

"It's funny how we both have purchased places far from the center of things. This town is really lovely. CJ and I walked all around the peninsula this morning and remarked about the peacefulness. You all have to make plans to come out to see our place soon. We're further away from Santa Monica than you are from DC, but with my newfound full-time student status, we'll be able to do three and four-day weekends periodically. My classes will meet on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and I have two seminars on Wednesday."

"There is one difference, Danny." Donna set down her cup. "After '14, this will be our permanent residence. We'll be living here year 'round and our kids will go to school here. At least until '18, when Sam - ".

"No! No! No!" Josh put his fingers in his ears. "Go over there, turn around three times and spit! And curse! I mean it, Donna!" he added as his wife laughed at him.

_July 22, 2011; Cape May, NJ_

The shadow fell across the page of her book at the same time that she recognized the distinctive blend of aftershave and sweat that defined her husband.

CJ closed the volume, looked up and smiled.

Danny sat down at her feet and, taking her right hand in his, began to kiss her palm. Over and over again, he placed little kisses on the little pads at the base of her fingers, on the larger fleshy mass at the base of the thumb, and in the center of her hand.

"Danny?"

He stopped the kissing, but kept his lips close to the hand, not raising his eyes.

"You know, CJ, most of those years, when you kept saying 'no', I had some sense, maybe this Celtic DNA thing, that eventually, you would be my wife. It made it possible for me to be cool about it, to not make you feel pressured, or stalked.

"But today it really hit me how lucky I am to be in your life, how lucky I am that you are in my heart, my soul, my bed; how lucky I am that you've given me a son, that you want to give me another child. I could have lost you to Simon or to Ben. You could have stayed with Paul and I might never have even known you. And then there's always Toby.

"I love you, CJ, and I can't imagine life without you anymore. When I think of all that we've had these past four years, all the new things we've learned, the new friends we've made, the old friends with whom we've grown, even the tragedies we've faced together, well, I just have so much hope for the future. With any luck, I'll have my doctorate in two years and I'll still be writing. With God's grace, we'll have another child soon. And it goes without saying that there are only more wonderful things for you. And when I realize that there was so much chance involved." He stopped, the emotion overcoming his thoughts as much as his voice.

CJ moved her hand along his jaw until her fingers touched his left ear. She raised his head and lowered her lips to his.

"And what of you? If Hugh Stewart hadn't come into the picture, I can easily see you having married Brianna and living out your days in Scotland. There are so many other what if's, Danny. If we spend all our time thinking about them, we won't have time to enjoy what we have, what we will have. I love you, Danny Concannon, and I thank God every day for you, but I want to do more than quake in my shoes over that fact.

"However," she smiled, "you do have a way of making a girl feel cherished." She kissed him again, stood up, and pulled him to his feet. "I'm suddenly in need of a nap."

"It hasn't been thirty-six hours, babe," Danny reminded her.

"So, this once, we'll forget about the window," she whispered into his ear. "Let's go inside."

"I have a better idea."

Back at the pool, Rick looked up from his Scrabble game with John, Josh, and Sam. His eye was caught by the tall auburn-haired woman and the redheaded man walking into the woods and smiled. Danny had been only one of several men who had come up to him and quietly asked if the little cabin to the right of the third birch tree on the left was stocked with bed linen, even though the wing that had been damaged by the hurricane last year had been rebuilt and there were plenty of bedrooms for everyone.

The crowd was about the same size as last year, but some of the participants were different. The Bartlets weren't able to come this year and Liz Westin was too involved with Helen Santos' projects and impending confinement to take part. Vic and Ellie were visiting with his family, attending a cousin's wedding, but Zoey and Charlie were in attendance this year. However, with Sam, Morgan and little Gemma, there was still a small security force. Toby was there with the twins, but Andi was in Switzerland as part of a United Nations conference on child labor. According to Ginger, things between Toby and Andi had hit another rough patch. Nancy and Jesse were still on the outs and weren't here. Larry's wife's grandfather had passed away so he and his family were in Iowa. Will was here but Kate was at the same conference as Andi. With that couple, however, the sparks were still in evidence, according to Ginger. Debbie Fiderer was in Alaska ("I told her to look up Ben," CJ mentioned). Ed and his wife were coming this evening, without the kids. Her folks were taking them to King's Island and Ed said that he and Eva were "looking forward to the mini-honeymoon". Matt Skinner and his partner were a new addition to the group.

Except for his three and the Zeigler twins, there weren't any kids older than three. Huck was in with Bryce and Molly with Chantelle. With all the babies and toddlers – his Celia and Matty, Noah and the triplets, Sam and Morgan's Gemma, Carol and David's Clarissa, Bonnie and Jean-Luc's little Giselle, and CJ and Danny's Paddy – they had turned one room into a nursery. At his mother's suggestion, they had hired two private duty nurses as well as the lifeguards and _au pairs_.

Several of the men had also talked with Rick about helping to cover part of the expense of the long weekend, especially since this was the second time he and Ginger had hosted the group. He fended off their wads of bills, telling them that he, Ginger, and his mother were more than glad to share their good fortune with their friends, especially considering how wonderful everyone had been last November when Arnie died at Camden Yards.

"Margaret, be careful!" At the sound of Donna's semi-panicked voice, John jumped up from the table, upsetting the game board in the process.

Donna and Zoey managed to keep the tall pregnant redhead on her feet as she recovered from the slide her left foot took on the side of the pool. Then her husband reached her and escorted her to one of the metal side chairs by one of the tables.

"Not there, John! I'd get stuck between the arms."

"Sit here, Margaret." Ginger got up from the glider she was sharing with Carol, pulled over the chair Margaret refused, and sat in it.

"Maggie-mine, were you dizzy, are you okay, did you just slip?" The former vice-president was in full expectant father mode.

"Your son kicked me and took me by surprise."

"Well, let me go and get your book." Her husband took long strides to the French doors that led into the cross hallway.

"But John, I'm - " she sighed. "You know, if I knew men got like that, I don't know if I would have agreed to have another child. Bruno was away most of the time and we were on the outs by this point." She stood up and took off her wrap-around skirt. "I better get in the pool before he gets back. Earlier today, he said he wasn't sure he would permit, and that's the word he used, me to swim in my quote, unquote, condition. **Permit**!"

"Well, hold onto the rail," Carol suggested. "I'll go in with you."

"Me, too." Zoey slipped in first, ready to help Margaret if necessary.

_Later that evening_.

"Am I really being too overbearing, too controlling?" John Hoynes shifted the glass of seltzer from one hand to the other and looked at the men with whom he was sitting. Earlier in the day, he had questioned Margaret's being in the pool, and only the reluctance to air differences in public kept him from getting more agitated over the situation. Then her cell rang. It was Bruno and a little boy who wanted to tell his mother all about the fish he caught with his daddy and his grandpa. As he helped her from the pool, she quietly told him to stop being such a dictator.

"Don't look at me; I have no experience and we not planning on being in that state for another two years or so." Charlie Young looked at John and then glanced over to the table where Zoey was playing bridge with Ed, his wife Eva, and Will. Zoey must have felt his gaze, because she looked up and smiled. Had it already been a year? He felt as if they were still on their honeymoon.

"It's only natural," Josh replied. "Donna was always reminding me that women have been doing this since the beginning of time. I told her that men have been worrying about said women since the beginning of time."

"You have to trust her, to know that she would do nothing to harm your child," Jean-Luc added. "It also helps to go with her to the doctor, to hear for yourself what he, or she, tells her about activities."

"The most important thing is keeping her happy. A happy mom means a happy baby." David contributed his advice to the mix.

"Well," Danny finally managed to get into the conversation, "I'm not sure you can just sit by. There are hormonal fluxes and she might not always be as rational as she should be. There are times when you need to put your foot down. What's so funny?" Danny looked at Sam, who was laughing, shaking his head from side to side.

"Just the thought of CJ letting you put your foot down with her," the governor of California answered. "Who'd a thunk it? By the way, where is she? I haven't seen her in a while." Sam looked over the rest of the room. Rick, Ginger, Morgan, and Bonnie were playing Monopoly. Maragaret, Donna, Carol, Matt Skinner and Matt's partner were working on a puzzle.

"She told me that she and Toby were going to take a walk on the beach," Danny answered Sam, making sure that no apprehension came through in his voice. It had been over four months since he had experienced any of the angst that had tortured him last year, but even with Aisling's reassurances, there was still some unease when he thought about Toby and his wife.

Down on the beach, Toby was shuffling through the dry sand. CJ had taken off her shoes and was walking on the hard, wet sand that had covered by water fifteen minutes earlier; the tide was going out.

"I wish I knew what it was, this time, CJ. If I knew, I would apologize. I love her; no one, not even Huck and Molly, is more important to me than she is. I told her I would do whatever she wanted, wait as long as she wanted. She's going to run for the Senate next year and - "

"Is she afraid that you would be a liability? The leak to Greg Brock?"

"I asked her, told her I would drop out of sight if that's what she wanted. She said that it had nothing to do with it. She said it was because I'm slipping back into my sad state, as she calls it."

"Are you?"

"Well, I am getting a bit melancholy. In three more years, I'll be sixty."

"So? I hear that sixty is the new forty. I turned fifty last year."

"Somehow, the thought of sixty is so much older than fifty plus ten. Maybe it's because I'm just a junior faculty member, untenured, all these young kids with their PhD's ahead of me."

They turned around and started walking back down the beach.

"So get your doctorate."

"I'm old."

"Danny's doing it. I've thought about it. Toby, if you want it, you can do it. You know, I **am** your friend - " .

"My best friend. Sometimes I wished you had been more than a friend."

"But if I had been in love with you the way Andi is, I think I would feel the way she does. I don't think I could have dealt with your sad state, as you call it, any more than she can."

"But it's never bothered you."

"And I've never surrendered my soul to you the way she has, the way I have to Danny. We never had that kind of relationship, no matter what everyone else thought, or wondered about. And it's not just the being sad, I mean, we all have our down periods. What happens with you is you won't let anyone help you out of the abyss. I think that's what bothers Andi the most. Toby, you have to let her into your deepest self. Hopefully, she won't give up on you; Danny didn't give up on me and I thank God for that every day."

They started up toward the house.

"And if I hadn't steered you back to him that night." Toby laughed at the irony.

"I'm sure that he would have found some way to get to me. Or at least I hope so."

They reached the house and entered the room. Toby saw CJ's face light up and he followed her glance. Danny's face was equally lit. She walked over to her husband, stroked his hair, and kissed his forehead. He whispered something to her. Her response didn't make sense. "Then let's neck for the next thirty hours."

_July 25, 2011; outside Manchester, NH_

"More cider?" Abbey Bartlet held up the pitcher toward CJ and Danny. At Danny's "yes" and CJ's "no", she filled Danny's glass and her own, then set down the beverage.

'Mr. President, this is excellent salmon." CJ set down her fork and wiped the sides of her mouth. "I always have a hard time with fish on the grill, keeping it moist enough. Will you tell me your secret? And this glaze?"

Jed Bartlet sighed. He had given up on getting his former staffers to call him by his first name. On one hand, he supposed it was a sign of respect, not just for his former position, but because of his de facto role as _pater_ of the extended _familias_. However, it also made him feel that he always had to be the role model and couldn't let down his hair with the group.

"Well, Claudia Jean," he figured that if CJ was going to treat him as a father figure, he could play the role with gusto, "I cook the fish in foil until it is heated through and almost done. That keeps it from drying out. Then, I remove it from the foil, and, this is important, allow it to air-dry for a minute or two, then spray with olive oil, brush with the glaze, and set it on a very hot grill, not on the section where I cooked it in the foil. You turn it after a minute, brush again, and set it on another part of the grill. As for the glaze, torture cannot drag it out of me."

"Maple syrup and Dijon mustard," Zoey told them.

"Traitor!" Jed threw his napkin at his daughter.

CJ, Danny, Charley, and Zoey filled in the former First Couple with all the news from the group that had gathered in Cape May.

CJ's phone rang. The caller ID said "Donna".

Helen Santos had just given birth to another daughter. Mother and baby were fine and President Dad was handling it much better than Josh did (both times).

"Well, the Republicans can't complain about our family values," Abbey joked as they toasted the new arrival. "Jed and I have so many honorary grandchildren and more on the way."

"Only honorary ones for now, Mom," Zoey said, "unless Ellie and Vic have changed their mind in the past month."

"Zoey Patricia, when have I ever nagged you and Charlie? You'll be ready when you're ready."

"I know, but I still think I have CJ, Donna, Bonnie, Ginger, Carol, Margaret, and Helen Santos to thank for that as much as your holding back."

Meanwhile, Danny was telling the President and Charlie about his potential next book subject. "My guys are still in negotiation with the Vatican. Yes, it's the chance of a lifetime, but I refuse to surrender any part of my artistic integrity."

_July 27, 2011; Niagara Falls, NY/Canadian border_

"You know, my parents honeymooned here," CJ told Danny, as they looked at (and felt the mist of) Bridal View falls.

"Really? Well, we can consider it a second honeymoon." He reached across the stroller that held their sleeping son and kissed her mouth.

"Second? It's the third." She kissed him back.

"Oh?"

"That first trip down the coast. I considered that a second honeymoon."

They both stood in silence remembering that trip, the two of them so overjoyed with the coming of the twins.

_July 30, 2011; Mackinac City, MI_

"Well, Danny, now that you've remembered the way back here, don't be such a stranger!"

"Well, the next trip is yours to make. We'd love to have you come to California this winter when you're iced over."

His second cousin Siobhan and her husband Liam were seven years younger than Danny. He remembered spending summers with Siobhan's family as a youngster. The O'Reiley's had a rooming house on the island (which Siobhan and Liam had retooled into a bed and breakfast) and had a small farm in the center of the island. Danny had enjoyed their trips here and never understood what happened between his father and Siobhan's grandfather that caused the families to cut off all contact when Danny was eight and Siobhan was just a baby.

Last March, Siobhan had emailed him. She had been researching the family history and came upon the connection. Danny and Siobhan had emailed back and forth and exchanged invitations to come visit. When Danny and CJ decided to drive back and forth to the East this year, they made the plans to stop by for a few days on the way back.

Since no cars were allowed on the island, Siobhan and Liam came over on the ferry to help them with their luggage, and then took them by horse and buggy to their B and B. They spent their days enjoying the Victorian atmosphere of the island and their nights looking over old pictures and diaries. Danny told Siobhan that Erin seemed to think that it was a disagreement over Irish politics that had caused the rift, but she wasn't sure.

In any event, a connection had been established again. After their visit with CJ and Danny in August, the MacDonald's would be stopping by for a night or two with Siobhan and Liam. There was talk of meeting other members of the family in the fall for an extended family reunion and perhaps another one in a year or two in Ireland.

Now they were back on the mainland and loading up the car, which had been parked at the ferry lot. CJ and Danny would take the bridge to the Upper Peninsula and drive for a few hours. Tomorrow, they would cut over to Minneapolis-St. Paul, then drive to Fargo and to Billings on their way to Yellowstone.

_August 5, 2011; Grant Village Lodge, Yellowstone National Park_

"This really wasn't enough time here, was it?" Danny put his arm around CJ as they sat on the lodge porch and watched the sunset. Paddy was sleeping against his chest.

They had arrived the afternoon of the 3rd, spending that night at the lodge in Mammoth Hot Springs. After doing the "upper loop" yesterday, they spent the night at Canyon Village. Today they had seen Old Faithful and the lower loop. Tomorrow, they would head toward Boise, then the Oregon coast, and down to the Mendocino area. They wanted to be back at the new place in Albion by the 10th; Erin, Robin, and crew were coming on the 11th.

"There never is. Paul and I took several weekend trips to Yosemite and there was always something new to see. Maybe the President was right when he said we needed at least a week a piece to see all of them."

"Yeah, I can just see us, retired and driving our Winnebago from park to park. You'd divorce me within three months." He laughed into her hair.

"I don't know about that. I've really enjoyed this summer, the traveling with you and Paddy. And if you had told me five years ago that you and I would be doing the family vacation bit with a rugrat in tow - ".

She stopped to remember. Five years ago, she was feeling overwhelmed and deserted. Leo, Josh, and Donna had cast their lots with Matt Santos. Toby had followed a different, maybe higher, compass, and she couldn't seek comfort and friendship from him. She still had Carol, Margaret, Bonnie, Ginger, Ed, Larry, and, of course, Charlie at the White House but none of them could give her what she needed – they were supervisees, not peers or independent friends. Will and Kate were there, but they were relative strangers. And it would be a good two months before this man, this rock, this groundwire, would come back into her life and begin to hint at the possibilities.

She really had enjoyed the trip across the country and back. Maybe it was Paddy's age – he was old enough that he didn't demand constant attention but too young to be whining about how long it was taking, about needing to go to the bathroom ("that's what a diaper's for, Mama"), about being bored with the geysers or the buffalo or the waterfalls. The rhythm of the car caused him to sleep. (Of course, at night, after they got to their destination, he was a whirlwind in the room. She was glad she had followed Linda Tallchief's advice and was very careful of the foods she gave him – mostly grains and veggies, just a little fruit, and nothing with added sugar.) Also, there was just Paddy and the two of them. No one to complain about being looked at, or touched, or having sentences repeated, or whose turn it was to sit by the window, thank God.

Wait, did she really say that? She had been a little weepy two days ago when the dull ache and heaviness, followed by flow, indicated that they had not been successful with July's "window". Danny and hugged her, kissed her, and reminded her again to leave it in "God's hands and God's time", and she was trying to do so. Would it have been that bad if there had been three little boys in the back seat, and maybe someday a little girl?

In any event, the experience was as much fun, as relaxing as the time they had spent in February of '08 when she was carrying the twins. Danny had no problem with sharing the driving with her, especially on the open road (and west of the Mississippi, both routes had a lot of open road); it was only in the cities with their loops and spurs and eight lanes in each direction, or in really bad weather, that he got all macho about being the one at the wheel. (Even then, he was quick to praise her map-reading skills and suggestions about when to get in what lane.) Their tastes in music were similar and they sang along with the CDs and old tapes. They picked out two books on tape. And, of course, they talked. If she lived to the proverbial one hundred, she could never get enough of talking with this man.

The sun had finished setting and the stars were brightening against the darkening sky. She shivered slightly in response to the breeze off the lake and Danny handed Paddy to her and reached for the sweater in the bag at his feet. He draped the garment across Paddy and her shoulders, pulling her back against his chest and wrapping his arms around her. Satisfied that his family was protected by his body and the sweater, he lowered his face to her hair and breathed in the scent of her shampoo.

"Danny? Aren't you cold?"

"Jeanie, I'm fine. If I were any finer, I'd be in heaven with God."

_August 11, 2011; Albion CA_

CJ finished putting away the rest of the groceries she had bought earlier in the day and looked at the kitchen clock; it read 2:57. She could hear Danny humming as he woke up Paddy from his nap and smiled, thinking about the very nice beginning and ending of the one she and Danny had taken. In four days, her window would open again. The limitations of the window made the week before and the ten days after, when they could give in to frequency and frolicking positions, special in their own way.

It was good to be home, even this home. The trip from Yellowstone to Boise on the 6th was uneventful, as was the next leg to Portland on the 7th, although they did stop several times at scenic pullovers on the interstate just to look at the Columbia River and to gaze at Mount Hood. They spent most of the next day in Portland, then drove up to Astoria late that afternoon, and spent the night of the 8th there. In the morning, after seeing the mouth of the Columbia as it poured into the Pacific, they headed down the coast toward the California border and Crescent City, their last stop on the road. They had arrived at their second home early yesterday afternoon.

They had left the place in good shape six weeks ago and she had arranged with the realtor who sold them the property to have someone come in to dust and vacuum. Outside of this shopping trip, all they had to do was unpack and change the security code on the door locks.

"The kid's in the playpen!" C J heard the front door open and close and the sound of a hammer beginning its tattoo. She set a big jar of sun tea to brew on the window and went to the main room to play with her son.

"CJ, I think this is them coming up the road!"

Danny Concannon set down the hammer he was using to hang the planter support on the front of the house, stepped down from the ladder, and went to meet the car that was carrying his sister, his brother-in-law, his nieces, and Brendan Collins, the man who had managed to tame his older niece.

CJ came out of the house, Paddy toddling in front of her, just as the rental pulled into the gravel drive.

Amid the general hugs (and the introductions between CJ and Danny and Brendan), CJ noticed that Fee looked younger and Ash looked older than the last time she saw the girls.

Aisling had never been overweight, but her face had lost some of its fullness. Her cheekbones were more defined. Her hair was still the bright red of two years ago, but she had switched to a different style, the part off the side rather than down the middle.

Fiona's hair still reached down her back, but had been cut about two inches and had been shaped around her face. The skintight micro-mini and tank top she had worn last fall had been replaced by a mid-calf skirt with a "peasant" style blouse. A pair of espadrilles with 1-inch wedge heels replaced the spikes of ten months ago. Fee had never worn much make-up, but her face had never glowed the way it was glowing today.

Then CJ saw, on her left hand, a claddagh ring very much like the one CJ wore on her right.

"Fee?" CJ's eyes asked the question.

The girl's smile was all the answer needed.

Now the hugs took on a new dimension.

"The wedding will be at Christmas. Please say you'll come, Uncle Danny," Fiona said. "I really want you and Aunt CJ with us."

Later that evening, Robin brought out two large flasks and two bottles. Not even the best customs inspector could tell that the seals on the bottles were not the original seals, that the bottles did not contain the scotch the labels indicated was inside them.

"Now this one," he said as he poured the contents of one bottle into the square flask, "is what you're used to having. But this one," he poured the contents of the second bottle into the round flask, "needs to sit and age another five years. However, taste now." He poured a small amount into a glass and gave it to Danny.

Danny slowly sipped, swirled the liquid in his mouth as Angus had taught him those many years ago. Yes, it was raw, but there was something there, something brilliant, something elusive, something that reminded him of smells and sounds.

"You're right. In five years, this will be truly something special. And in seven years, in ten - ".

Robin's eyes lit up as they reached the face of his younger daughter and he held out his hand to her. "To the future mistress of MacDonald Distilleries!"

"Aisling! You blended this?"

"She did. But enough of that; let's pour the good stuff."

Danny explained that he and CJ were on the wagon but told the others to indulge and enjoy. Then he poured two glasses of seltzer for CJ and himself and led the group in a toast to the memory of the cousin whose bequest had given them the house in the woods.

For the next week, the two families enjoyed the offerings of the area. They rented horses and rode the backwoods trails. They rented canoes and explored the Navarro River and took a kayaking tour of the coastline. (CJ decided that she would buy Danny a kayak for Christmas, then decided maybe she didn't want him out on the ocean by himself.) They took trips to Mendocino and to Ft. Bragg.

One day, Brendan and Fiona took the car and went off by themselves for the day. CJ was certain that if someone wanted to go looking, they would find the car parked at the Bide-a-Wee motel outside of Inglenook.

Erin told CJ that she felt so much better now that Robin was no longer flying regular routes and was home more often. She told CJ that she was so relieved that Fiona had found someone with whom she could settle down. Some women need an authoritative man in their life and if that's what it takes to keep her daughter happy, in bed and out, well, who was she to complain if the man was closer to her age than to Fiona's? And if she ended up with a seven-month grandchild, or the wedding was suddenly moved up a couple of months, the world wouldn't come to an end, now, would it?

Robin told Danny that he didn't miss the hustle and the hassle of flying all over Europe and North America, that he enjoyed training the younger men and women and conducting recertification flights. He told Danny that when Brendan had come to talk with him the day before he gave Fiona his family claddagh, to ask formally for her hand, that Brendan had been blunt about the nature of their relationship. Brendan said that he knew it took time to plan a wedding and that he wanted the pomp and ceremony, the presence of family and friends, as much as Fiona did, but, at one level, he considered himself married to Robin's daughter with the asking and the answering. There would be times that he would prefer to keep Fiona with him for the night, rather than bring her home on dark and wet roads and that he would prefer to be upfront and honest about it with Robin and Erin. Brendan and Fiona wanted to have children right away, he was almost 40, for God's sake, but they would be using contraception until the wedding. If God had other plans, he and Fiona would decide whether or not they wished to forego the planned Christmas wedding, but they would seriously weigh the family's input to such a decision. It may not be what Robin would have ideally wanted for his daughter, but the man was obviously good for her, was obviously what she needed.

CJ and Danny managed to make use of each optimal opportunity in the August window without being obvious to their houseguests (they thought), and, more importantly, to make use of those optimal opportunities in a way that was stress free and totally "relaxing" for both of them.

On one of their phone calls concerning "Road to a Better World", Bonnie told CJ that Jesse had taken Nancy to Ventana Inn for a few days. Mr. Estevez was concerned but resigned to his daughter's love life.

Donna called to say that Micah Daniel was the first of the triplets to start crawling on his hands and knees. Margaret 's stomach had blown up overnight, but was still determined to work until the first pains.

Ginger said that Toby and Andi had come to Cape May without the twins and spent a lot of time walking on the beach, holding hands.

Carol said that Will spent three days in New York right after Kate and Andi got back from Switzerland. And Paul said to say hi.

_August 20, 2011 _

His breath still rasping, Danny slowly lowered himself until his upper torso was against CJ's back. He put his arms alongside hers and grasped her hands. For the next minute, he did nothing but gently kiss the side of her face and her neck. Then he spoke softly into her ear.

"Let me know when I get to be too much for you, darling."

She brought his left hand to her mouth. "I can stay like this with you forever; you know that."

And so they remained, like crabs, for the better part of a half hour, half dozing. It was their last night at Albion. Tomorrow they would pack and drive to Santa Monica, to the house and friends they hadn't seen for almost six weeks. According to Hank, Pamela Lauren had grown by leaps and bounds; they wouldn't recognize her. Frank told Danny that Jimmy Jenkins had come over yesterday. Instead of the PG-13 movie Heather said she and her friends would attend, they went to the NC-17 that was also showing at the six-plex; for how long should they ground her? The bon voyage party for Clara was the day after tomorrow. No, Diana didn't need CJ to make anything; CJ would have enough to do getting back into her "real life."

Danny had deflated to the point where he just slipped out from inside her. However, the tip of his penis was just touching her and she began to tease herself against him.

He lifted himself off her, to her murmured sound of disappointment and he turned her to face him, his upper hand holding her butt so that the feelings she had been experiencing became more and more pleasant for the both of them.

"Thank you, Jeannie." He kissed her eyes.

"For?"

"For giving me this summer. For allowing yourself to be away enough from the job to do all of this with me. For believing me when I say that God will make this" he touched her stomach under her navel "happen when it's right and for not making the windows a time of tension and worry."

He turned onto his back and pulled her on top of him. As she lowered herself onto his arousal, the moonlight gilded her, a reverse vermeil, silver on the gold of her skin, her hair, her eyes.

_August 24, 2011; University of Southern California_

The professor looked at the twenty men and women facing him.

"This concludes the first meeting of this graduate level class 'Teaching Creative Writing'. For your first assignment, I want to put you in the shoes of your future students. I've divided the class into four groups. Messrs. Adams and Concannon, Mdmes. Davis and Dickenson, and Mr. Farris, for our next class, please write at least 1000 words on 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation.' Thank you. Class dismissed."


	49. But Not Lonely

**But Not Lonely**

CJ/Danny, Nancy/OMC, mentions of others

Rating Teen – some implied "macho" behavior

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Thanks to Jini for letting me use her hubby's line about women who do extreme waxing

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

_September 10, 2011; Santa Monica, CA_

"Here you go."

Danny set down the six longnecks he was carrying, removing his fingertips from the openings of three of them.

"I'm assuming none of you mind my germs."

He handed beers to Hank, Frank Muñoz, and his nephew Jesse as Ken Robbins claimed one for himself. Then Danny reclaimed his seat around the table. He was glad that Scott Winkler had relented, somewhat, on alcohol consumption for himself while he and she were "trying". An occasional beer or glass of wine would be okay; a rarer glass of whiskey would be okay, also, but really try to keep it to a minimum. After all, people had been drinking fermented beverages almost as long as they had been having babies, and the human race had managed to survive.

The five men, along with most of the neighborhood, (those over the age of consent, that is) were in the Robbins' back yard, enjoying the higher than usual temperatures of the late summer afternoon. Most of the women were in the pool or at poolside. Wally Hammash, sporting his "If you can't stand the heat, fetch me another beer!" apron, was tending the chicken on the grill. Pete, Li, Joel, and Billy were playing two on two basketball.

"Where's Steve?" Danny asked about the man who had been part of the group when he had left to fetch the beers.

"Where else? Over at Pete and Sonia's checking on Pamela," Hank answered. "I told him she was okay, but you know Steve."

"You told him she was okay because you had just come back yourself, not ten minutes ago, and the both of you had been over there not more than a half-hour before that," Frank laughed. "The two of you have it bad. Remember how Danny was at this same 'thank God the kids are back in school party' two years ago?" (Danny turned a bit red as he remembered that he ended up spending most of the time in his house with the children and the baby-sitters rather than across the street at the Wei's.) "The two of you have nothing on him."

"At least I came to the party," Danny laughed. "Billy didn't leave his house for two months after he became a father."

"Uncle Frank, I don't remember you and Dad being like that."

"Well, I was stationed in Dayton when we had Carmen. Believe me, I was just like these guys when she was born. Luckily, I've learned from experience. As for your father, Tonio is much older than I am and is really part of the generation that was taught to not show your emotions and feelings, that felt that taking care of an infant was the mother's job; plus, he always was more than a little old-fashioned, more than a little macho."

"So, I wonder who'll I'll take after?"

"You trying to tell us something about you and Nancy?" Frank asked in return.

"Well, no, not just yet," Jesse laughed. "We did make up after that fight in June, of course, but there are still a lot of things to talk about before I feel ready to settle down."

Danny gave the younger man a serious, level look.

"Well, with all due respect, Nancy is special to CJ, to me, and to the entire Bartlet gang. I wouldn't want you to do anything you're not ready for, but at the same time, if there is no chance of this relationship moving into something permanent, please don't mislead the woman. I guess I'm suggesting that soon you need to fish or cut bait."

"Believe me, I'm hoping for that permanence. And the Estevez brothers have already had this talk with me, in slightly less polite words," Jesse laughed. "But marriage is serious, a commitment, especially for our families, for our religion. I want to be sure."

"I'm sure that Ramon, Charlie, and Emilio were formidable, but I don't know how they would stack up against President Bartlet, Josh, Sam, Toby, Charlie, and Will, with Rick, Jean-Luc, John Hoynes and me as backup, not to mention the ghost of Leo McGarry. Anyway, I'm going to call CJ in a few minutes if she doesn't call me first. Shall I relay anything to Nancy?"

CJ and Nancy were in San Luis Obispo for a Hollis Foundation meeting, had been there since late Thursday afternoon. They would be flying back tomorrow morning. Danny had a one-time course meeting this morning, a lecture by a distinguished professor from Columbia, so he stayed home with Paddy. Actually, it was for the best. Paddy was starting into his "terrible two" phase and would be more of a distraction than CJ needed at the meeting.

He had enjoyed the time alone with his son yesterday, but he wondered how working, single parents managed. Paddy was constantly running from room to room, constantly wanting attention, constantly wanting to know "what" and "why". By the time night fell and the little boy was dead to the world for the night, so was his father.

Little Maggie had a pediatrician's appointment earlier today, so when Danny had to go to USC for the lecture, Jill Robbins came over to sit with Paddy. When Paddy started to throw a tantrum, wanting "Mama!", Danny thought he might have to miss the lecture. But Jill told him to leave and not to worry; the child would tire of screaming soon enough.

"Oh, sweet Jesus!"

The other men looked up at the sound of Ken's voice. The attractive nurse that Jimmy Jenkins brought to the party had removed her cover-up.

"What in the world is that?"

"I think they call it a micro-bikini." Jesse said. Studio designer Hank nodded in agreement.

"Micro isn't the word for it. The sides of that triangle can't be any longer than two inches," Danny ventured. "It's at least a nano-bikini, maybe even a pico one."

"And the two pieces up top, she doesn't have that much, can't be any longer than three on the side," Frank added.

Then the young woman turned around.

"_Madre de Dios_, it's a thong. She must have to shave off everything."

"Wax." Hank added his expert opinion. "Some of them leave a little bit, like a soul patch, but many of them take it all off."

"You mean they put hot wax **there** and then rip?" Frank asked incredulously.

"Yep," the studio designer answered as the other men instinctively crossed their legs, imagining such a feeling on **their** anatomy.

"I went with a girl that waxed off everything," Jesse told the others. "She was a runway model and had that kind of figure, or lack of a figure. Small busted, no real hips to speak of. Combined with the lack of hair, I never was comfortable being with her. She looked like a little girl. I felt like a pedophile."

"I can see that," Ken said. "Plus, I wouldn't want Laura wearing something so revealing." He looked over at his wife, her white strapless maillot setting off the warm nutmeg of her skin. "That's about the extent of what I want to share with the rest of you."

The other men's eyes followed his. Some women are better suited than other women to wearing a strapless bathing suit, Danny thought. Laura Robbins was among the best suited to do so. She had enough to hold up the suit and to emphasize the difference between her bust and her waist, but the proportions were pleasing, especially in relation to her hipline. She didn't look like Dolly Parton; every time Danny saw that particular performer, he wondered how she managed to not fall over from the sheer weight.

"_Por supuesto_," Frank answered. "It leaves something to the imagination."

"And just what are you imagining about my wife?" Ken asked, half in fun and half in seriousness.

"Nothing more than you are about mine. I noticed your eyes wandering earlier." Frank thought that Diana's halter and skirted two-piece in a black and red print was sexy because it flattered her figure without revealing too much. It was obvious that Diana was no teenager, but then he didn't want a teenager, he wanted a woman. And it was **not **obvious that she had given him four children. Her legs, her abdomen, her waist, her breasts – he had better think about something else or else everyone would know what he was thinking just by looking at his trunks.

"Ah, but they were wandering respectfully, my friend. It's not a crime to admire respectfully," the lawyer replied. "If it were, we would all be in jail. Well, except for Hank."

"Oh, I admire. I just prefer not to do anything about it. "

"Well, that just leaves more for the rest of us."

"More what?" Steve joined the group.

"Women," Danny answered. "We're about to break out into a chorus of 'Standing on the Corner.' It's interesting. All the women here are wearing what, in today's terms, could be defined as rather modest swimwear, except for Jimmy's friend. Aside from her, the only one showing more than an inch or two below her navel is Jessica, the only other woman without a husband, and even her bikini isn't anywhere near what that nurse is wearing. And it's not out of necessity. Looking at their figures, none of them have anything to be concerned about. Even Clara, I guess she's the exception to my statement about married women, even at her age, she looks damned good."

"Okay, now Danny's about to start in on 'Mrs. Robinson', albeit twenty-five years too late. We can't let CJ go away again," Jesse laughed.

Hank started to expound on the suits worn by the other women, explaining the difference between a tankini, a skirtini, and a skirted tankini; bandeau, halter, bra, and tank tops; as well as the difference between a maillot, a swim dress, and a tank suit. To Danny, they were either "one piece" or "two piece". Danny thought about CJ's suits. They were similar to what Diana was wearing, except that the bottoms were like a pair of very short shorts rather than a micro-mini-skirt. He supposed that the "old-fashioned sexist" part of him would prefer that CJ wear one piece suits, maybe even the ones with a skirt, in public, but he understood the convenience of the two piece when using a restroom, and she certainly wasn't anywhere near exposing as much as Jimmy's date.

"I'm sure that you guys and the others feel as I do," Ken added. "I can't imagine a man wanting his woman showing everything she's got. I mean, look at Jimmy; he's embarrassed by his date. I don't know how serious he is about her, but if it's more than casual, I bet he says something to her about the suit."

"I know I would," Frank agreed. "And Tonio would do more than **say** something. I remember when I was about twelve and Jesse's mom, well, she was just a 'steady' at the time, wore a see-through blouse to a party, with no bra."

"What happened, Uncle Frank, did Dad yell at her?"

"He did more than yell. Remember, your father is a throwback to earlier generations. Let's just say that if I did to your aunt what he did to your mother, you wouldn't have your cousins and I'd be singing soprano. Anyway, Steve, is everything all right with the kids?"

"Pammy's a bit cranky. Just heat rash," he added as Hank looked up, concern covering his face. "Paddy and Maggie decided that throwing ice cream was as much fun as eating it. Luckily, they were throwing it back and forth at each other and not at anyone else, so the girls decided to pretend that they didn't see the two of them."

"The older boys, Mike and Steve?" Frank asked about his sons.

"The older boys are playing soccer. Carmen, Cindy, and Heather are mooning over some new teacher at school. They didn't even notice me when I walked through the family room."

"Maybe I should go over and deal with Paddy," Danny started to get up.

"I wouldn't," Ken answered. Frank nodded in agreement. "Ignoring them once in a while is as good a tactic as squelching the behavior. Even tantrums. If they aren't disturbing anyone else and if they aren't inconveniencing you or CJ, sometimes just letting them scream it out helps. Take them to their room, put up a gate so you can see inside, and just pay no attention to the little bugger."

"There are times when I just want to – well, I've been tempted to tell CJ to go back on the pill, or tell her I'm going to get a vasectomy."

"Believe it or not, this stage passes, Danny," Frank assured the man.

Danny's phone rang. "Hey, babe." He got up and walked away from the other men.

He told her about the pool party and Jimmy's date. He told her that he missed her, that he couldn't wait for the next morning when she would be coming home. She told him that she wished she could skip the reception that was planned for the evening and come home now, but Frank was insisting and since he was the one scheduling the plane -. Speaking of which, she would call him right before the plane left San Luis Obispo tomorrow, so he could meet her at the Santa Monica city airport.

Neither of them mentioned that they were approaching another "window". He had finally "trained" her to accept the timing and positional restrictions, to be aware of them, but not to be overly concerned about it.

Then Wally announced that the chicken was at its best and Danny said he needed to hang up the phone. CJ said she'd rather be eating Wally's chicken than Sarita's caviar and crab puffs. Danny said he'd try to keep a piece for her but it wouldn't be the same as eating it hot off the grill, wrapped in lavash with cucumber/dill/yogurt sauce, grilled onions, and sliced tomatoes.

An hour later, stuffed with food, the neighbors were again talking of everything and nothing when one of the babysitters came up to Hank and Steve, a fitful little Pamela in her arms.

"I'm sorry; neither of us can make her comfortable."

Steve reached for the baby girl. "Come here, darling. Let Daddy make it better."

He and Hank made their apologies and hurried home with their daughter.

"They are so great with her." Diana was sitting on a chaise, her legs pulled up so that Frank, who has sitting on the end, could lean his back against them. She played with her husband's hair.

"I know," Laura agreed. She arranged herself a bit more comfortably on Ken's lap. "Maybe it's because they don't have the hormones, don't have the possibility of post-partum depression."

"Whatever it is, I know that they are already talking about the next one," Pete said. "I wonder if they'll use the same surrogate?"

"No. He or she will be Hank's, biologically, so they'll want an African-American mother," Sonia told her husband. Hank and Steve wanted their children to reflect their bi-racial family.

"Was it that important that the child be biologically one of theirs?" Jimmy's date asked. "They didn't want to adopt? There are so many children in the foster care system who need permanent homes and parents."

Danny noticed that she was now wearing Jimmy's long-sleeved dress shirt, the one the hospital required of its doctors, with the cuffs turned up twice to fit her arms. The tails came down to about two inches above her knees. Danny thought that she looked infinitely more alluring than she did in the nine square inches of fabric with two feet of string that comprised her micro-bikini. She really seemed like a nice girl, nice woman, he corrected himself. He was wrong to judge her by the amount of skin she revealed with her swimwear. In any event, he was sure that if she came again to such a party with Jimmy, she would be in something more like what the other women were wearing.

"I advised them against it," Ken answered. "I hope that California won't get like some of those states back East, with their restrictions on gay adoption, and some even trying to take kids from their biological parents, but you never know. I told them that this was the best way to go."

An hour or so later, Danny carried a fussing Paddy into the house.

"Want Maggie! Want Mama!"

Paddy beat his little fists and feet against Danny's body.

Danny started singing. "You **can't** always get what you wa-ant."

He set Paddy in his crib, stripped off his own clothes and the boy's, then carried him into the master bath.

"Shour!"

Paddy started clapping his hands. He liked being in the shower with Danny, so they kept a bottle of baby wash and shampoo in with them.

Ten minutes later, Danny was in a clean pair of boxers and a T-shirt and Paddy was in a fresh diaper. Danny went to put the child in his crib.

"Read!"

Danny was tired, but he was not going to deny his son that particular request. He wanted to pass on his love of the written word to the child. He picked up a copy of "The Five Hundred Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins", sat down in the nursery rocker with Paddy in his left arm, and began to read to the child, stopping often to point out items in the illustrations and to ask the boy to show him things he thought Paddy should know.

Ten minutes later, the eyes that mirrored CJ's began to close and the thumb crept up toward the mouth that looked like hers. Danny kissed the child, set him in the crib, and walked to the family room.

As he knew from his experience Thursday night, he would have a hard time sleeping without CJ beside him, and was tempted to pour a couple of fingers of Angus' whiskey as a soporific. However, he needed to be able to wake up in an instant if Paddy needed him. He didn't have any classes on Monday; he would be able to sleep in that morning, the Lord (and Paddy) willing.

He walked around the house, making sure everything was properly locked, then settled into bed.

Saturday night, 10:30 PM, and he was in bed, alone. Not that much different than five years ago, except that in '06, he was not only alone, he was lonely. Tonight was so unbelievably better than that time, right before he had dinner with CJ, right before the San Andreo accident, right before he first voiced to CJ his desire to spend the rest of his life with her, right before she gave him hope that her answer wouldn't be "no, thank you."

He pulled CJ's pillow into his arms. It smelled faintly of her perfume and, breathing in the scent, he drifted into sleep.

_The next day_

Danny stood by the chain link gate as the Hollis plane taxied to the hangar, turned 90 degrees, and came to a stop.

As soon as the flight crew lowered the combination door/step mechanism, CJ came bounding down the stairs, ran over to her husband, threw her arms around his neck, and let him know exactly how much she had missed being with him for the past two days.

He responded in kind and then took her garment bag and tote from her. He was able to carry both on his right arm and looped his left around her shoulders. She put her right arm on his waist and he flashed back more than four years, to that Sunday morning of their wedding weekend, when they walked from their suite to the lanai to join their wedding guests for breakfast. He was still as wonder-filled that she was his wife as he was that morning.

He noticed that Jesse and Nancy were still locked in an embrace. He hoped that he hadn't overstepped himself yesterday, telling the dentist he had best not lead on the young woman. He was a great guy, but Nancy, like all the Bartlet women, was special and deserved only the best. Of course, Jesse did have a point about being sure. The Bartlet group had been lucky so far, with only Toby and Andy, and Liz and Doug, of course, having failed marriages.

"Paddy?" CJ asked.

"Will be with Frank and Diana until early this evening," Danny answered, letting her know by his smile and his eyes that he had his own ideas about the rest of the morning and the afternoon, and that said ideas did not include a twenty-seven month old toddler demanding to be the center of their universe.

He put the bags in the Mustang, seated her on the passenger side, and then began the trip to their house.

She tucked his curls behind his right ear. He grabbed at her hand, kissed it, and then set it to rest on his thigh. Her body began preparations for what would happen when they reached home. Subconsciously, she smiled, looked over at him. He smiled back.

They left the bags in the car. Halfway across the courtyard, he stopped, pulled her into his arms, and kissed her. Her left hand slipped under his belt down the back of his jeans. He slipped his hands under her butt, lifted her off the ground three or four inches, and walked to the bedroom.

Afterward, she played with his chest hair as they shared tidbits of information learned over the weekend. Bonnie and Jean-Luc had taken time for a trip to Canada, Indiana, and Washington.

The Santos' new little girl, Rachel Elizabeth, was doing quite well. The First Family had the highest rating of any White House residents since Milly had her puppies back in the '80s.

With her summer school class, Donna had finished the work for her BA at American and was already getting ready to apply to Georgetown for her Master's. And, yes, after all that work, she was going to participate in Commencement exercises next May. They should save the date. It would be on Mothers' Day and Josh was planning on a big celebration for all the "West Wing Moms" as well as for Donna's degree.

Margaret was still working a full day, but the President insisted that she leave the White House by 6:00 every night and not come in on the weekends. They were still looking at an end of October delivery, although Margaret's doctor was watching her vital signs and would induce if she felt it necessary. John was anxious for his son to be born, but was more concerned about his wife.

Paul was seen at Wolf Trap in the company of a lovely woman from the Italian embassy and Carol was all excited until she found out that the woman was a nun. ("I knew they didn't wear habits anymore, but makeup and jewelry?" "Really?" "According to Carol, very understated and very tasteful, but, yes, makeup and jewelry.") Apparently, they had met in Jakarta when Paul was doing missionary work.

Matt Skinner and Eric were roughed up on their camping trip to Lake George. At first, the local police thought hate crime, but after three other cases, all involving heterosexuals, they decided it wasn't because the men were gay. Not that Matt's and Eric's bruises hurt any less because of that conclusion.

Through something that Rick let slip, Bonnie had learned that Ginger wasn't necessarily planning on stopping with the kids after little Matty. ("He said they were leaving it in God's hands. After all, it wasn't a question of money or room, so whatever Ginger wanted was fine by him.")

"Danny, you'll never guess who Glen's guest was for the weekend!" CJ squealed.

"He brought someone? A woman?"

"Of course, a woman! Ainsley!"

"As in Haynes?"

"Yup. And you could tell that there was more than just centrist Republican philosophy between the two of them. I wonder how they'd manage in bed," she giggled.

"Just like the rest of us. He'd put his outie into her - ".

"I mean, the size difference. No, no that," she slapped at the arm that draped on her waist before reaching up her side. Why did Paul have to tell him about her ticklish spot there? She had done a very good job of hiding it for almost four years. "I mean height, and width, and poundage. If I were as small as Ainsley, I'd be afraid of being broken."

"No chance of that," he joked. "With me, I begin to worry when you get - ", he stopped with the second slap. "In the weight room, and the dorm, at the Dome, I knew football players, offensive tackles, linemen, big, muscular guys. And, naturally, some of them were with the daintiest, smallest cheerleaders – the girls, I mean. You'd be surprised at how much weight you can keep off a girl's body." For half a second, he remembered the one little brunette, four foot eight on her tip toes, one hundred three pounds, sopping wet (without the pompoms) he was with his junior year. "Large men are aware of it, believe me. If and when he and Ainsley ever – well, he strikes me as the type that would be extra careful, treat her right, both physically and emotionally." Casually, with affection more than lust, his hand moved down her body. As it trailed below her navel, he reflected on the previous day. While CJ always looked well-groomed in her bathing suits, the wealth of curls under his hand testified to the fact that she definitely was **not** a little girl, that he definitely was **not **a pedophile.

"I know, I'm glad for him. I'm glad he has the possibility of someone in his life; besides that blasted dog, I mean."

"Bess is sweet. Never discount the importance of the human-canine bond."

CJ looked up. That last sentence was said just a bit wistfully. She knew how much love there had been between Danny and Pistol when he was a boy. She saw him with the dogs on the block, Ken and Laura's Newfie, the Feldman's Puli, and the "lab mix" that helped keep Clara young at heart. And when they visited with the MacDonald's, he spent a lot of time with Thor, the family's wolfhound.

All he had to do was ask, and she would say "yes, of course." Because he hadn't, she assumed that he was one of those "one dog" people, like her older brother, who allowed Hogan to have a puppy when she was little, but told his daughter that there would never be another "Buster" in his life.

"Danny, you've never said anything, but you know that if you want a dog - ".

"I know." He kissed the top of her head. "It's just that the timing was never right. From experience, it's best that the dog not be the 'first child'. Maybe when Paddy's four or five, if you're sure you don't mind."

"As long as I don't have to conceive it or carry it," she answered. She began to kiss him amorously and was surprised when he didn't respond immediately. Then she remembered "the window", swore softly, and pulled away.

He laughed and pulled her back to him, began to kiss her. "No reason we can't pretend we're horny teenagers trying to stay just this side of mortal sin."

"Speaking of which, what about church?"

"Let's go in the middle of the week to make up for missing it. We've been pretty good, haven't missed since right after Corpus Christi."

"Yes, Father Concannon. Also, what about our son?"

"What about him?"

"When do you have to get him out of hock from Frank and Diana?"

"Maybe in an hour, hour and a half?"

"Then let's enjoy the hot tub while we can."

With Paddy toddling around like a dervish, they had to be careful. The hot tub was kept covered, as was the pool. Both bodies of water had alarms, as did the fountain in the courtyard. This was in addition to all the door latches, outlet covers, and door knob protectors.

_Later that evening_

"You win."

CJ walked into the house with Paddy in her arms. Before she left to pick up the child at the Muñoz residence, she and Danny placed a playful wager. He said that Paddy would be demanding of her attention as "punishment" for leaving him for the trip to San Luis Obispo. CJ said that her son would ignore her, refuse to kiss and hug.

The loser had to go pick up dinner (carry out from "Outback").

She handed the boy to Danny and went to get her purse.

"Mama! Juice!"

Danny went to the refrigerator and poured some apple juice into a sippy cup. He handed it to the boy.

"No Daddy! Mama!" Paddy started wailing.

"Are you sure you want to stay with him?" CJ asked. "It may be a pyrrhic victory. He'll be wanting something every forty-five seconds."

"No, you go. He'll stop after you leave. He doesn't really want things, he wants to reassure himself that Mama is still there for him, still there to take care of him."

"I know," she said, walking to the garage.

**Not** the Mustang!" he added. "And don't take the short cut!"

"I hear and obey," CJ sighed and left the house. She was surprised he was actually letting her go to get the food. It was somewhat out of character.

"Want Mama!"

"No. Not just yet." Very quietly, very calmly.

Danny wanted CJ to have a few more minutes of not responding to Paddy's every little demand on her attention. He didn't want to tell her just yet that Paddy had managed to figure out that Daddy was the head of the family and that it was better to stay on Daddy's good side. He hoped that in a few months, the child would not look on CJ as his personal servant.

In one sense, he hoped that this stage would pass before CJ conceived. He didn't want her going through pregnancy with a whining child clinging to her. But he also wanted her happy and knew that the sooner he gave her another child, the happier she would be.

He put Paddy in the playpen, gave him a set of blocks, and set the table, poured the sparkling water. He fetched her bags from the back of the Mustang and carried them to the bedroom.

Returning to the family room, he opened the doors to the deck and to the courtyard. Picking up his water glass, he fetched his son from the playpen and sat facing the ocean.

He enjoyed the view of the sun as it traveled toward the water's edge, but listened for the sound of his wife returning to him, to their son, to their life together.

This weekend, he had been alone but not lonely. In a few minutes, he would be neither.

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"Standing on the Corner" – by Frank Loesser

(from "Most Happy Fella")

Standing on the corner, watching all the girls go by

Standing on the corner, underneath the springtime sky

Brother, you can't go to jail for what you're thinking

Or for the woo look in your eye

You're only standing on the corner, watching all the girls go by


	50. For Those in Peril on the Sea

**For Those in Peril on the Sea**

CJ/Danny; mentions of Donna/Josh, Sam/OFC, Carol/OMC, Margaret/Hoynes

Rating Adult –

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

_6:15 AM; November 5, 2011; Santa Monica, CA_

_----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Danny Concannon flushed the commode, put down the seat, washed his hands, rinsed with mouthwash, and headed back into his bedroom.

Seeing that CJ was not moving, he stole a quick peek into the nursery. Paddy was still asleep. Looking at the toddler, Danny realized that they really needed to get their son a bed; he would be outgrowing the crib within a few months. And, please God, they would soon need the crib for another child. He covered the boy with the quilt that had been kicked to the base of the crib and hurried back to the bedroom. With any luck, there would be time for one more – .

Yesterday afternoon, CJ finished her latest cycle and, as always, they were very enthusiastic about her renewed "availability" – two times last night after they put Paddy to bed. Then, about four hours ago, they both woke at the same time with the same need. It was amazing, he thought, how their emotional and physical needs had come to mesh over the past five years. The first time last night was a balance of need and frivolity and the second was the delicate and gentle "crabbing" position that defined the depth of their feelings for each other. But that last time, in the wee hours of the morning, was something they rarely needed. It was intense pounding lust, very physical, very hard. He drove into her and she rose to meet every stroke. They gripped hands because they knew that they were in danger of marking each other's shoulders with nails and fingers. And other than words of love, neither of them needed to speak to let the other know what was wanted.

As her husband returned to the bedroom, CJ turned over in the bed and watched him approach the bed. She had been half asleep she had felt his body with its morning erection ease away from her back and leave the bed. She woke more when she heard the flush from the bathroom but didn't have the energy to move. Paddy had whimpered in his sleep about an hour ago, and she had awakened in a nanosecond, had gone to check on her son, and had made the same trip to the bathroom, all without managing to wake Danny.

She stretched and caught Danny's eyes, smiling at the sight of him realizing that she was awake. The pre-dawn moonlight hit highlights on his head, in his beard, on the light halo of hair on his body, and especially on the triangle between his legs. The trip to the bathroom had taken care of the stiff erection of a few minutes ago, but she could see his interest returning, could see him lengthen, thicken, and begin again to rise for her. She flung back the sheet and light blanket, opened her arms, and smiled. This time between her period and the "window" was the best part of the month. Of course, the time after the "window" was also spontaneous and not limited to every 36 hours, but it was also a time of waiting to see if they had been successful or if there would once again be the telltale signs of "not just yet". Making love during the window was also special in its own way, as each time they hoped that they would make the longed-for second child, but this week was carefree.

Twenty minutes later, they were in the shower. Ten minutes after that, Paddy awoke and Danny took the child into the kitchen and fed him breakfast.

Hearing CJ approaching the kitchen, Danny said, "Paddy, you need to be an especially good boy for Mama today. You'll be the man of the house while I'm gone. Can you do that for me?"

An emphatic nod of the little boy's head. "Yeth." ("From your lips to God's ear," CJ said in a laughing stage whisper.)

"Okay, I'm gonna hold you to it."

Just as CJ poured herself a cup of coffee, there was a knock on the kitchen door. She opened it to admit Hank, Steve, and seventeen week old Pamela, complete with enough gear to outweigh her ten times over.

"We've got 10 bottles, just in case, two dozen diapers, five outfits, her dolls, and her doggie." Hank set down the gear while Steve put the little girl in her carrier on the table.

"She was a little sniffly last night," Steve said, " I don't know, maybe I shouldn't go."

"Guys, guys," CJ reassured them. "If she continues to sniffle, I'll call Linda. She's on our speed dial, too, you know. And you didn't have to cart over the entire nursery! If she were to run out of bottles, or diapers, you **did** give us a key."

"Are you sure you can manage, CJ? The two of them, I mean?"

"I manage Paddy and Maggie okay, don't I? And it's just you men that are leaving for the day. I've got plenty of backup." She was interrupted by the honk of a car horn. "There's your ride. Go be bonding males."

Just then, Paddy realized that there was someone else occupying his mother's attention and began to fuss. Danny stared at his son, briefly hugged CJ and followed Hank and Steve out the door. "See ya later," he called out to his family.

Most of the men on the block – Danny, Hank, Steve, Ken, Frank, Billy, Joel, and Wally – were going out for a day of deep-sea fishing. Li Wei was up at MIT for a symposium and had taken Yan and Mei-ling with him. Pete, Sonia, Radak, and Dinara were in Chicago for a wedding. Timmy Jenkins was working a shift in Long Beach; Jimmy was on call and had to stay home. (The other guys felt guilty, but they were glad that there would be a man on the block, just in case. In fact, as a backup, Frank asked his nephew Jesse to come stay with his aunt and his cousins later in the morning.)

_8:30 AM; somewhere off the coast of Santa Monica, CA, beyond San Nicholas Island_

"Pass the doughnuts," Wally Hammash asked as he handed the coffee pot to Hank.

Ken Robbins complied. "You know, I can't imagine life without Laura, but it's nice, every once in a while, to be doing this without someone coming along with napkins, coasters, and comments about empty sugar calories."

Most of the others nodded in assent. They were on their way to the fishing grounds that the charter company said would provide them with a very good chance of catching some fairly large tuna and perhaps some other varieties of game fish. The captain had told them it would take a good 90 minutes to get there, so they should just sit back, enjoy their breakfast, and relax. His only rules were no smoking and everyone had to wear his life jacket. (" I don't care how many medals you might have won; in my boat, even Neptune and Ariel wear preservers.")

"Well, I wonder how many rosaries Diana has said so far," Frank Muñoz joked.

A couple of weeks ago, when the men first discussed their plans for this trip, the reaction of the women on the block was varied.

"It's hard enough to deal with the thought of Frank up there in the sky, counting on the principles of lift, thrust, drag, and weight to keep him safe until he comes down to earth again, but I've gotten used to it over the last 17 years," Diana commented. "Now he wants me to start relying on buoyancy and water displacement."

Hannah Feldman agreed. "I don't see why you can't just go up to Los Padres, paint your faces blue, sit around a fire, and talk about manly things. You could even stay overnight."

"Go, go, get out of my hair! Now, if I could find someone to take the boys as well, I'd be in paradise," Aviva said. "But don't get too lucky; I don't want to be smelling fish cooking every day for two weeks." The Hammash's were expecting their third child in February and Aviva was having a hard time with food-related symptoms.

"And just because I know how to clean trout, doesn't mean I can handle something huge," CJ told her husband.

Hank explained that the charter company would take whatever fish they caught and give them the equivalent (less a processing percentage) of previously caught fish, either cans in exchange for tuna or coupons redeemable at several stores for fresh fish steaks for the other species.

"Actually, we've about decided to donate anything we get, either the cans or the coupons, to the Food Bank," Billy Rogers told the women. "So all you'll have to deal with is smelly laundry and sunburns."

Sally told her husband that there was a coin laundry five blocks away and that she would set out a roll of quarters and the box of Tide. However, she would stock up on aloe vera. The other wives nodded in agreement.

"Well, I'm glad I don't have to touch one of those fish with the long sword of a nose," Laura Robbins said. Ken whispered something in her ear and she blushed furiously, then swatted at his upper arm.

So here they were, on the ocean, ready to spend the day in each other's company, being "manly men", whatever **that** entailed.

"By the way, Ken, what did you say to Laura about the swordfish?" Steve asked the lawyer.

"I just reminded her that she was used to longer things than its bill."

Then Billy told the latest version of the joke with the punch line "Your mother's been spoiled" and the other men groaned, then laughed.

"Now that the subject's come up, guys," Danny said, "the other day, when we were in the bathroom, Paddy made some comment about size. I said it would get bigger when he got bigger and that satisfied him, for the time being. But I'm wondering, at what age do we start being less open with him? I mean, neither CJ nor I are walking around the house nude, but he does like being in the shower, so I take him in there with me at times. And sometimes, one or the other of us will bring him into the bedroom while the other is still dressing."

"It depends," Frank said. "Kids vary, but they'll let you know when their sense of privacy kicks in. Steve started wanting to be by himself in the bath when he was about three, but Mike still doesn't have a problem with Diana being in there with him."

"Although I wouldn't overdo it, it's good for him to see that men urinate standing up. When he's ready for toilet-training and masters that art, it will be easier to make the switch," Ken added.

"Speaking of which, CJ's getting conflicted about when to start **that**. Noah Lyman is already well into it and he's two months younger than Paddy. Of course, Noah was born with kidney control that most of us would envy."

"Hey, Manny's a year older than Paddy and he's just starting to understand the concept. It was the same for Ary," Wally reassured Danny. "Aviva's mom was concerned, but we told her to butt out, though not in those words. We also told her that the boys didn't have wee-wees, they had penises," the man chuckled. "It did manage to keep her out of my hair for a good month."

"I'll have to keep all this in mind," Billy Rogers laughed, "so you guys don't have to do a repeat lecture next year when Will is Paddy's age."

"It'd be no problem if we did. Another thing you want to start early, as soon as he's old enough to be out of the crib and able to manage a door knob, is to instill in him the idea that he just can't walk into your bedroom without permission," Joel Feldman told Danny and Billy.

"What about little girls?" Hank was thinking to the years ahead.

"Yeah, what about them?" After two sons, the Hammash's were expecting a daughter, and Wally was both excited and nervous.

"Well, toilet-training shouldn't be a problem, and if it is, I'm sure that the ladies will be fighting each other over the right to help you and Steve," Frank told the studio fashion designer. "As far as nudity, I was, still am, of course, much more careful around Carmen than with the boys." Joel and Ken nodded in agreement. "But I didn't make a big deal about it. When Carmen was seven, Diana was off visiting with her sister and Carmen developed a severe case of vaginal rash and itching. I had no problem dealing with the cream that the doctor prescribed and neither did my daughter have any problem with my help. However, were the same set of circumstances to arise now, I'd probably call upon one of your wives for help if Carmen needed it."

"The thing you have to remember with daughters is that they will take their cues about how men should treat them by the way you treat the women in your life," Joel opined. "Make sure that you treat those women they way you would want a man to treat your little girl."

"Actually, it's the same for your sons," Ken added. "If you treat your wife with respect, then they will do the same when they start dating, start looking for a wife."

_About the same time; Santa Monica, CA_

"Well, do you think the guys are talking football, basketball, or hockey?" Sally Rogers dropped off the groceries (peanut butter, a bag of salad greens, and a cut-up chicken) that CJ had asked for when Sally called to ask if CJ needed anything from Ralph's.

_About 4:00 PM; Santa Monica, CA_

CJ had just finished counting to ten for the fifth time that day. For some reason, Paddy, who had absolutely no problem being with little Maggie, was totally intolerant of this other little being that sometimes demanded his mother's attention. Pamela still slept a lot, but she did need to be fed about every three hours and changed about as often. And there were times when she was neither hungry, wet, nor sleepy and CJ tried to tend to the baby and the toddler at the same time.

CJ asked Paddy to hold open the book while she was reading so she could have one arm around him while she held Pamela. For ten minutes, Paddy was excited about turning the pages, but quickly became at first indifferent and then rebellious when he realized that Mama was talking to someone else as well as to him. And while Paddy would count anything, from the legs on the bug he just "squished" to the "spots on Mama's face", he had no interest in verifying that Pamela had the same number of fingers and toes as did Paddy.

The phone rang. Recognizing the Muñoz' land line, she picked up and answered with a casual "What's happening?"

"CJ, could Paddy come up and play with Maggie? She's feeling a little out ofit. Jesse and the boys are playing football. And, of course, Carmen is off with Cindy and Heather. (Jessica was treating the girls to an afternoon at the spa, followed by dinner and then a movie.) I'll put Maggie and Paddy in the kiddie pool, feed them supper. I'll keep him until the guys get back."

"Are you sure? I mean, I'd love the chance to rest a bit. I think I'm getting an idea of what it will be like if, I mean when, Danny and I have number two."

"I'm sure. It sounds like this is a win-win proposition. Look, I'll send Steve down to fetch him right now. The guys are taking a break."

After Paddy left for Frank and Diana's, holding onto Steve's hand, CJ fed and changed Pamela. The little girl then fell asleep, so CJ put the baby in Paddy's crib, checked on the baby monitor, and then lay down on the bed with one of the paperbacks that Carol had left with her when she, David, and Clarissa were out to visit in early October.

_7:00 PM; Santa Monica, CA_

She woke to the sounds of crying coming over the baby monitor and was confused at first. They were not Paddy's cries. Then she remembered.

After changing and feeding Pamela, she called Diana to check in on her son. Diana told her that Maggie and Paddy were building something with the blocks. He had enjoyed his afternoon in the kiddie pool and ate all his mashed up hamburger, all his French fries, and most of his carrot sticks. Jesse had made a quick trip up to Malibu and back to get Nancy. As soon as Frank and the others returned, Jesse and Nancy were going to a movie and a late supper.

Checking in on the sleeping little girl, CJ once again admired the cute little outfit into which she had changed Pamela. Hank and Steve certainly doted on their little girl. She was afraid to voice it, but she thought that Danny would be especially pleased if their second child were a daughter. Of course, any child would be welcomed, and, thinking about the twins, the only important thing would be the baby's health. Reflecting again, she wondered about the possibility of another multiple birth. If it were to happen, they could afford it, assuming it was twins or triplets, not septuplets. She bent down and kissed the little head, then opened the door to the hallway that led to the other bedrooms, one of which was her home office. She hadn't been online for five days, having scheduled a week's break "just because".

There were emails piled up, several from friends to whom she owed long "letters". She decided to handle the personal stuff before the things for "Road to a Better World".

She was filtering through the last of her emails, and was about to start reading a report from the Hollis Foundation that evaluated the effectiveness of three different forms of macadam surfacing, when the phone rang. Again, it was Diana.

"CJ, have you heard anything? From the guys, I mean."

CJ looked at her watch. It was 10:00 PM. The men had said they would be back by 8:00.

"No, I haven't. Did you call the boat dock?"

"I tried. There was no answer. Laura, Aviva, and Hannah are going to drive down to the pier, to see if there's an emergency number on the door."

Fifteen minutes later, Diana reported that when the other women reached the dock and called the emergency number, the owner's wife said he was at the Lakers' game and didn't have his cell phone with him. She had called the police station, which had connected her with the harbor police. The response from the latter office was, to be charitable, mild disinterest with a veneer of politeness.

CJ would never pull strings for her own personal comfort or need, but this was Danny, the father of her child, and the fathers of the other children on the block. CJ pulled out her phone book and looked up Carol and David's number. Josh and Donna were in Connecticut, attending services and sitting shiva for Josh's mother. Margaret was home, but she had given birth to Hooper John ("we're calling him 'Hoop' for short") Hoynes on Halloween and she didn't want to disturb the new family. Sam would be a logical choice, but he and Morgan were in Connecticut with the Lyman's.

"Palmer residence."

It was not the voice she expected to hear, but she felt a little better for hearing it.

"Paul?"

"CJ?"

"Carol and David?"

"Are at the wedding of one of David's coworkers. The babysitter fell through and when they called me for a recommendation, I volunteered."

"Oh."

He could hear the disappointment, and, more importantly, the panic in her voice.

"CJ, what's wrong? What do you need?"

She couldn't stop the tears as she explained that the boat was way overdue and that they were getting nowhere with the local authorities. She was hoping that maybe Carol could call someone at the Coast Guard. Now, she didn't know what to do.

"CJ, sweetheart, please try not to panic. I'll take care of it. Just say a couple of those prayers to your St. Christopher."

She couldn't imagine what Paul, of all people, could do, but long buried memories from over thirty years ago kicked in, and she obeyed his directives.

In the meantime, Paul pulled out his cell, looked up a number and keyed in the digits.

"John? Paul Reeves, Listen."

Ten minutes later, CJ's phone rang and she hurried to answer it.

"CJ?"

It was John Hoynes.

"John, I didn't want to bother Margaret."

"You didn't and Paul didn't. I answered the phone. Listen, let me ask you some questions." He tried to ask the questions in a manner that would keep her from panic. Then he hung up and weighed his choices. The first one, the one CJ eventually would have thought of, was Jed Bartlett. However, John realized, the former president would, in all likelihood, make a call to his second choice. Therefore, he might as well be efficient. He called the White House, identified himself, and asked to speak with the President.

Twenty minutes later, the Coast Guard called. They had paged the boat rental owner at the game. Yes, the boat did have a GPS locator, so they were picking up the man and taking him to the pier to get the necessary data.

In the meantime, Diana and Laura came over to the house, followed by Sally with her baby. Laura told CJ that Aviva and Hannah were taking their kids over to the Muñoz house where Jesse and Nancy were trying to keep the children from sensing the growing concern; then they would be coming to join the others.

Soon after the other women had arrived, the Coast Guard called again for CJ. It seemed that the attendant in the charter company's office skipped out from work early, about 5:00PM, because a friend of his had tickets to a concert that night. According to the records, the last report they had on the charter was from 4:30PM. The GPS on the boat was no longer transmitting and they couldn't raise anyone on the radio. The irate charter company owner ("That kid will never work anywhere on the water again, if I have anything to say about it!") and the Coast Guard were assuming mechanical failure; the Coast Guard was going to fly out to the last known location of the boat and start the search from there.

"Thank you very much, Captain, please keep us informed," CJ told the man.

"Of course , ma'am."

Yes indeed, of course, ma'am. The phone call about this particular lost at sea case came from the very top command levels. Apparently, it had been initiated by President Santos himself. The captain did not want to be in the shoes of the harbor patrol official who had earlier responded to the calls for help on this situation with indifference, saying that the men were probably sleeping off the effects of too much sun and too much alcohol and that he was going to wait until morning; if they were still missing, then he would react.

There was a knock at the door. When Jessica had dropped off Carmen at the Muñoz house, Jesse had quietly explained the situation to her. Telling Cindy to stay with Jesse and Nancy, Jessica took Heather over to Jimmy and told the young doctor what was happening.

Jesse called. The kids were nervous, wanted their mothers. CJ told him to bring the lot over to the house. "Grab some pillows, blankets, and sleeping bags."

The women did some quick figuring. Jill Robbins and Becky Feldman were at a high school dance that would be letting out in about 30 minutes. Laura and Hannah called the parents of the young men who were escorting the girls, asked them to contact their sons and to have the girls delivered to the Concannon house. The Feldman twins, sixth-graders Aaron and Audra, were with Hannah's parents in Phoenix, but four-year old Ricky would be arriving with Jesse, along with Aviva and Wally's sons, seven year-old Ary and three year-old Manny. That meant, when the girls came back from the dance, 13 kids, ranging in age from the high school senior girls to little Pamela. Four girls, five boys, and four babies/toddlers.

"We'll put the girls in the living room, the boys in the den, and the little ones in the nursery and my office," CJ said.

The doorbell rang and she opened it, expecting to see Jesse and his troop.

It was Jimmy and Heather. "We felt we should be here."

Okay, one more girl in the living room. Hopefully, they would treat it as a slumber party and not fret too much.

A few minutes later, Jesse and Nancy did arrive with the kids and it took about 15 minutes to get everyone settled. The mothers stayed with the kids who were old enough to understand until they fell asleep. In the meantime, Becky and Jill arrived back from the dance. Although they were frightened, they went to the living room, changed into the T-shirts and shorts that CJ handed them, and lay down with Carmen, Cindy, and Heather.

Laura wondered about calling Drew, up at Berkeley. Jimmy advised against it. "He'd just want to get in his car and start driving down right away. Let's wait until morning. If needed," the young doctor winced, "we'll arrange to fly him down."

CJ went in to check on the babies. In her office, Paddy and Maggie were holding each other in their sleep, snuggled down on the love seat. In the nursery, Will, the Rogers' son, was making fitful noises, so CJ picked up the child and rocked him until he quieted. Pamela slept the sleep of an innocent four-month old baby, blissfully unaware that both her parents were long overdue.

As she walked back toward the family room, she would hear the women talking.

"What about Pamela? Did Hank and Steve make arrangements if -?" Aviva couldn't finish the statement.

"I'm sure Ken thought of everything," Laura said. "He was always extremely thorough."

"Not was,** is**!" CJ came storming into the room. She sat down next to Laura and grabbed her shoulders, her hands a pale gold against the warm mahogany of Laura's arms. "Our men are going to be fine!"

CJ thought back to the day when Hank and Steve asked her and Danny to be Pamela's guardian "if something happens to both of us" as well as being her godparents when the little baby was baptized in the local Episcopalian church. If the unthinkable did happen, she would have a second baby – just not Danny's baby. Then she mentally slapped herself; she was doing what she had just criticized Laura for doing.

Laura sagged against her friend, then smiled weakly. "This morning, I didn't even bother to get out of bed when he left. I didn't even kiss him back when he said good-bye."

"I'm a military wife," Diana said. "It's always in the back of my mind, so I always make sure, whenever Frank leaves, that he knows what he means to me. I mean you never know – Oh! Jessica, I'm so sorry!"

The war widow smiled and said she understood.

The other women sat in silence, each remembering her last moments (or lack thereof) with her husband this morning

CJ remembered their lovemaking, last night and in the wee hours of the morning as well as the time right before Danny left. They didn't have time to kiss before he left the house, didn't say the words, but both of them knew they were loved.

Aviva said to herself that she would put up with the smell of cooking fish every day for the rest of her life if only - .

Hannah wondered if there could have been some way she could have insisted on the camping trip instead of the fishing excursion.

Sally was glad there were still dirty clothes in the hamper; if the unthinkable did happen, there were still things she could hold, still things she could smell.

Laura started crying again, loud sobs that threatened to wake the children. Jimmy went back to his house, came back with his bag, and gave her a light sedative. CJ and Diana helped Laura to CJ and Danny's bedroom.

Cindy made some tea and toast. The women picked at the food.

John Hoynes called again at 12:30 ("John, it's the middle of the night, your time!" "Let me worry about that, CJ!") A few minutes later, Carol called, having just arrived home and having heard the news from Paul. She would check in with John. She agreed with CJ that they should not disturb Josh and Donna unless it was "necessary".

Paul took the phone from Carol. He was returning to his townhouse, but CJ was to call him when the men were found. In fact, she was to call him anytime she needed him. Unless he was in the middle of services, he was at her beck and call.

At 1:30, the Coast Guard called again. The boat had been found, all power lost but all hands on board, healthy, trying not to show their concern, but grateful for the effort by the service. They were being taken by helicopter to the pier and would be home as soon as possible.

Tired, dirty, smelly, and sunburned, the men stumbled into the Concannon house and the arms of their wives (Cindy did double duty, hugging both Hank and Steve). CJ and Danny suggested that they leave the older children sleeping where they were. Jesse and Nancy said they would stay, one in each room. If any of the kids woke up before daylight, the two of them would let the kids know that their fathers were home and were okay. So Hank and Steve departed with Pamela, Frank, and Diana with Maggie, and Billy and Sally with little Will.

Ken Robbins gently lifted his wife from the Concannons' bed. No, he didn't need any help getting her across the street. Well, yes, if Jimmy wanted to take his key and open the door for him, it would be appreciated.

CJ called Paul, as he had requested, and asked him to thank John for her, to ask John to relay her thanks to the President.

CJ carried Paddy to his crib, then sat in the bathroom while Danny took a shower. She had told him he was dead tired and should just get into bed, that she didn't mind the smell and the dirt. But he replied that he wanted lukewarm water on his sunburn. Afterward, she spread Noxzema on his reddened areas.

She told him of the call she had made, of the effort expended by their friends in Washington. She told him some of the details of her day with Paddy as jealous older child.

She didn't tell Danny of the thoughts and fears expressed by the women as they waited for word, but she did tell him that although, if worst had come to worst, she would have raised Hank and Steve's daughter with all the love in the world, it would not have been the same as having another child with him.

He told her that the power on the boat went out about 5:30 and the radio at the same time. The captain told them that the office manager would be expecting to hear from them in 15 minutes or so, to hear that they were on their way back to the dock. Standard procedure would be for the manager to try to contact the boat, then contact the harbor patrol and the Coast Guard. They shouldn't worry. They had plenty of drinking water, although the refrigerators were no longer keeping it cold. The fish they had caught – three tuna, one swordfish (by Billy, so Laura didn't have any issues to face), one bonito, and one mackerel – would probably spoil, but the company would make good on the cans and the coupons.

Before they left the pier, the captain had earlier told them that their cell phones would be of no use, would only get lost, and that they should leave them in the car. Ditto with their wallets. They were given waterproofed wrist bands with their names, an identification number that corresponded to an entry in the charter company computer that would contain other information, and any urgent medical data they felt should be immediately known.

Frank said that while they shouldn't worry, neither should they assume that everything on shore would happen as it should. They should be frugal with the water and food, and they should eat the perishable food before eating the crackers and chips.

He told her that as the evening lengthened into night, Frank told them to not use the flashlights, in case they needed to signal any search planes or helicopters. In fact, in a few hours, they should start arranging sleep shifts, to make sure that several of them would be awake to listen for any approaching craft. The Air Force officer reviewed the signals to indicate distress.

Then the men became somewhat introspective, reflecting on their families. He didn't tell her that he had reassured Hank and Steve and, "if it happens", Claudia Cregg Concannon would take very good care of Pamela. And he certainly didn't tell her that when the men began wondering if their wives would remarry, he had told them, under deepest oath of secrecy, of the request he had made of Paul Reeves some eighteen months ago.

But he did tell her that he had told the other men that he was in awe of the way she had changed, had adapted over the past five years. He told them that he had told her he expected to be "Mr. CJ Cregg" and that he would be happy in that role. He told them that he watched as CJ Cregg had morphed into Claudia Cregg Concannon. She was still doing great things, important things, but she was no longer sacrificing her personal happiness on the altar of great and important things. She was giving her husband, her son, her family, her friends, and, most important, herself, the same priority as she was giving "Road to a Better World". And as far as he was concerned, she was doing just as good a job with the latter as she did with her White House duties. "So, now, I call myself 'Mr. Claudia Concannon', and I hope I'll be doing that for many years to come," he told the other men.

He did tell her how relieved he was when they heard the helicopters and knew that resuce was at hand. It might not be until the noon service, but church was definitely on their "to-do" list for later in the day.

They heard a whimper from across the courtyard, followed by the soothing male voice of Jesse Muñoz.

CJ could tell that Danny was tired, but too keyed up to sleep, too full of post-traumatic adrenaline. Knowing the best way to relieve that tension, she slid down to the foot of the bed, using her hands to rouse him before lowering her mouth to his groin.

"CJ, you don't have to -"

"But I want to, it will help you calm down, help you relax."

So in warmth and safety of his bed, Danny Concannon lightly stroked the hair of the woman he loved, the woman to whom he had returned from peril on the sea, and thanked God for her, for his son, and for his life.

---------------------------------------------------------------

"The Joke"

A family had just moved into a new subdivision that backed up to a working horse farm. The wife was taking a walk along the fence line with their four year old son when the two of them came across a stallion in heat about to mount a mare. When asked about the horse's erection, she didn't know what to say, and quickly dismissed her son's question, changing the subject.

Later in the week, the husband was taking the child on the same walk and the two of them saw the same scene. When asked, the father explained, in simple terms, the process of procreation.

"Daddy, how come, when I asked Mommy, she said it was nothing?"

"Well, son, to your mother it is nothing; she's been spoiled."


	51. Old Friends

**Old Friends**

CJ/Danny, Josh/Donna

Rating Teen– just a mention of sex this time

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

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_Mid-afternoon, January 5, 2012; Washington, DC; the White House_

"Just have a seat in Josh's office, CJ. He and Margaret should be finishing up in the Mural Room shortly. I need to run these things down to Amy." Carol opened the door the office for the Chief of Staff and pointed to the couch along the side of the wall. "Rina, will you catch my phone?" Carol smiled at Margaret's executive assistant, picked up several folders, and started down the hall.

CJ walked around the room, taking in the changes that Josh had made to it, changes to suit his personality, his masculinity.

She took particular interest in the collection of pictures on the bookcase shelves. In addition to Josh's and Donna's official wedding portrait, (Donna sitting on a low stool with her dress puffed around her in a full circle, Josh sitting behind her on a chair), there was a photo of the two of them with the four children, photos of their families, a big group photo of the "Bartlet Bunch" from the clambake in New Hampshire at the time of the dedication of the Josiah E. Bartlet Presidential Library, and another one from the weekend at Cape May right after Charlie and Zoey's wedding.

CJ thought back to her tenure in this room. She remembered the crises she handled; she remembered how alone she felt when Toby told her that he was the one who had given the information to Greg Brock. She remembered the despair she felt when she heard of Leo's heart attack and death; she remembered the utter joy when she and Danny admitted to each other that what had happened that night after Leo died was not a one night stand.

CJ thought back to the time when this room was Leo's (and, to some extent, in her mind, it would always be Leo's office.) Again, the memories were good and bad. Like Jed Bartlet, Leo had been a father figure, and their professional relationship had reflected that inter-generational connection. She remembered the arguments that felt like scoldings; she remembered the times she needed to assert herself. But she also remembered the praise and she remembered that she was the one to whom Leo turned when he needed to recommend a successor to the President he had brought into office.

Once more, CJ reflected that she had been so grateful, all in all, for that time in her life, but that she was now equally, if not more, grateful, for her current life – for "Road to a Better World", for Paddy, for her little village in Santa Monica, and, above all, for Danny.

"Josh, do you have-?" The door from the Oval Office swung wide and Matt Santos strode into the room.

"Good afternoon, Mr. President."

"CJ. Josh mentioned you would be in town. A wedding?"

"Actually, we're on our way home. The wedding was on the 30th in Ireland. Danny's older niece, Fiona. We flew into Shannon the day after Christmas and flew into Dulles yesterday evening."

"Is that the girl that caused all the ruckus in Oregon two years ago? The same weekend they announced the Nobel? Right before the explosion at Camden Yards?"

"Yes, sir." CJ was embarrassed that the incident still registered in the President's mind. "Again, we are so sorry for the inconvenience to Josh and to the White House."

"In the grand scheme of things, it was nothing. So, she got married?"

"Yes, and he seems to be very good for her. To see her now, you would never associate her with the girl that blithely hopped on a private jet in London, headed for Canada, and then tried to come into the States with neither passport nor money, not even a driver's license."

She remembered she had something more important, something more recent for which she needed to express her gratitude.

"Sir, I cannot thank you enough for what you did when Danny and the neighbors were lost at sea back in November. I know how often you must be disturbed in the middle of the night for serious crises, and to think that you took such a personal interest in something that, while very serious for us and our friends, was not that important in the wider scheme of things. Contacting you was not what I expected John to do."

"CJ, I was glad to be able to do it. John was right to call on me. For one thing, Helen was frightened to death for you. She said it hit her how easily it could have been me and she insisted that we take action. I think having Rachel has made her more anxious as a mother."

"Speaking of which, your younger daughter is an absolute heart-breaker! Carol took me up to the day-care center to see the children. I'm sorry I missed Mrs. Santos. Liz said that she was delayed in Harrisburg where she was helping to dedicate the on-site day care in the state capitol. You know, the 'Village People' initiatives were a great project for her, but now that she has taken the forefront in making government offices at least as 'family friendly' as the private industries that win the awards from the women's groups, I think she will be remembered as one of the most effective First Ladies in history."

"Well, part of pushing for the day care in the White House was just good business sense," the President answered. "We need the best qualified people in the nation to do the nation's business, so we need to make it as easy as possible for those people to want to work for us.

"What I'm also proud of is that she isn't stopping with the 'parent-child' issue. By April, we'll also have on-site elder care for those employees who are looking after parents, aunts, uncles, as well as resources for those who would need in-home assistance. We've had two requests for help with developmentally disabled adult children and siblings and she's looking into some sort of guided employment for them. Plus she's initiated an on-site laundry and dry-cleaning drop off center, 'sitters' to go wait for repairmen and deliverymen, and a healthy carry-out meal station in the Mess. I sometimes think she's doing more than I am."

"Well, I know that Carol is very happy to have Clarissa close at hand and that it makes doing her job so much easier."

"And next week, when Josh and Donna's four join them, I expect that Josh will be happy too."

"I understand that you were very instrumental in Donna deciding to work for Nancy McNally in Foggy Bottom rather than take the position with the Democratic Governors' Council. She said you had to do some reorganization for that to happen?"

"Well, I had to move State from Josh to Margaret, to avoid any situation where someone could say that Donna was supervised by her husband. But it's important to me that Donna get involved with foreign affairs. She needs that experience and she will be a tremendous asset to Nancy.

"Speaking of tremendous assets, I could always need another Senior Counselor and the offer from six years ago is still there. You could do it from California, or, there's always room in the nursery for Paddy. I understand Danny is in grad school at USC; I could pull some strings to get him into school here."

"Mr. President, the answer is still the same." She wasn't about to tell him that she was perfectly aware of what was going on the six or seven times when Josh had called and casually asked her opinion on certain issues.

"CJ, I'm sorry I – sir?" Josh came barreling into his office. "I'm sorry, Mr. President. You need something?"

"I was wondering about next Saturday, when the Swedish Prime Minister is in town, maybe we could take in a hockey game? What do you think?"

"If the Service has no problem, it sounds like a great idea. Excuse me, CJ."

"No, Josh," Matt Santos interrupted. "You visit with CJ. This can wait." The president left the room, closing the door behind him.

Josh hugged CJ. "So where's Danny? Margaret got pulled into some dispute over White House access after the State of the Union; she'll be here as soon as she can."

"Danny's at the _Post_, of course, showing off Paddy. Then he's going directly to your place. I've got an appointment for a facial in an hour, so I'll be meeting you guys there. It will be nice to be with the two of you and the kids before Rick and Ginger's big thing tomorrow afternoon. Not that I'm not looking forward to seeing everyone and all their kids," CJ hastened to add. "I just wish the Bartlet clan could be here.

"Anyway," she changed the subject, "so come Monday, Donna goes back to work, and you'll be bringing the kids here. It's sure a far cry from our 'no family, no real social life' days, isn't it?"

"Yeah, in more ways than one. You got time to sit?" He indicated the sofa.

The two of them sat down.

"Josh?" CJ could tell that there was something on the man's mind, something he was having trouble vocalizing.

"Donna's not going 'back to work', CJ, she's starting a new career. You know, back in President Bartlet's time, we all knew what our roles were, to be supporters, to be the guys behind the guy, with Leo being first among equals, and people like Ed, Larry, Margaret, Bonnie, Ginger, and Donna were the guys behind the guys behind the guy. Well, except that we felt that Sam had that certain something, that passion to serve more openly.

"But now, Margaret and I are the ones that are first among equals, and Donna has -"

"Moved up to guy behind the guy, maybe even beyond?" CJ finished the thought she assumed Josh was pursuing.

"For sure. And to some extent, she has you to thank for that. When you told her that she needed to break away from me, at the time of the lockdown, then when she went to work for Bingo Bob," Josh added when CJ flashed a puzzled look at him.

"Josh, I never meant to cause any stress for the two of you," CJ rushed to explain, her guilt still present after so many years.

"We needed it, CJ, we needed the separation. I don't think we would ever have realized that we were made for each other, emotionally and intimately, if that hadn't happened, so there's no need to apologize.

"Now, it's more than Donna coming into her own at the senior support level. CJ, people are taking notice. Powerful people, the President, other party heavyweights, there's an undercurrent that Donna will someday move to the front lines, to -".

"Run for office someday? I know she's talked about the school board and other local issues down in your beach place. I can see her stepping up, especially if you hold to your thoughts about sitting out the '14 election. Danny tells me that if I want to get involved in Santa Monica politics, he wouldn't mind. Every once in a while I think about it, then I look at Danny, at Paddy, think about this baby we're trying to not be desperate to make, and I tell myself that Billy Rogers can have the job as long as he wants it."

Josh looked at his friend and spoke quietly. "When they talk about Donna, they aren't talking running for city council or school board; they're thinking state legislature, maybe Congress."

"Wow!" CJ sat back against the couch. "What does she think about it?"

"We haven't exactly talked about it."

"Joshua! What did Danny tell you back when I was carrying the twins?" He saw her eyes dim for a second with the memory, then regain their brightness. "You have to talk about it, discuss the ins and outs, the whys and wherefores!"

"I'm waiting for her to bring it up. CJ, do you think I can do it? I want to be able to do it."

"Do what, Josh?"

"Be Danny."

"What do you mean, be Danny?"

"Can I let my wife soar the heights, to achieve; can I be 'Mr. Donnatella Moss Lyman', as it were?"

"Are you saying that I run roughshod over Danny?" CJ asked, somewhat defensively.

"No, no, no! Just the opposite, that -"

"That Danny runs roughshod over me?" CJ's voice grew even louder.

"CJ, please let me finish an effing sentence!"

There was a knock on the door and Carol entered.

"Josh, the Canadian PM needs to talk with you. Something about a murder incident on the Yukon/Alaska border."

Josh sighed and CJ did the same, letting their tempers cool a bit.

"Better you than me, my friend," she smiled as she walked out of Josh's office. "See you tonight."

_About 15 minutes later_

Donna balanced her daughter on her hip as she opened the front door.

"Danny! Come in! Hi, Paddy!"

She reached up and kissed first the man, then the sleepy child in his arms. She stepped back to let them into the foyer then shut the door to the cold air coming up the open stairwell. After settling Paddy on the sofa in the nursery and putting her daughter in her crib, she poured two cups of coffee and led Danny into the den, where a fire warmed the room.

"So, how was the wedding? Do you have any pictures?"

"Sure." Danny pulled out a memory disk from his inside jacket pocket. "Can we look at this?"

She left the room and came back with her laptop and a San-Disk reader; Danny started the slide show.

"CJ looks beautiful, as always. You really do like that gray dress, don't you?"

Danny's smile was answer enough.

"Ohmagod, look at you and Paddy! In kilts!" Donna took in the sight of Danny and his son in formal tuxedo jackets, kilts, knee socks, and funny little bags hanging from their waists.

"Is that your family's plaid?"

Danny explained that only a few Irish families had an individual plaid; historically, the Irish wore green or saffron kilts. There were also plaids for Ulster and Tara, but for the most part, the patterns for the various counties had been designed in the late 1960's. The red kilts, with broad green stripes, narrow blue stripes, and faint yellow stripe that Danny and Paddy were wearing reflected the plaid designed for country Galway, where the Concannons had lived for more than a thousand years before Danny's parents emigrated to Michigan. He further explained that the pouch was called a sporran and that they could have also worn a little dagger called a _sgian dubh_ in their socks as well as a larger dagger on their belts. However, most of this was Scottish tradition, not Irish. But Fiona's new husband had bought into all of it and Fiona thought it was dashing, so it was a kilted wedding, at least on the part of the men.

" Erin rented them for the two of us. Theoretically, since I was adopted into Clan MacDonald when I was nineteen, we could have worn the same pattern as Robin."

"What about underneath?" Donna asked.

"I wore navy bike shorts; Paddy wore a blue bathing suit over his Pull-ups. No way were we going commando.

"Now there's Robin, in the tartan for the MacDonald's of Sleat. That's the one I could have worn if I hadn't worn the one for Galway."

"There are different MacDonald's?"

"There are several branches, or septs. It's really kind of complicated, but fascinating."

"That's Brendan, my new nephew, I guess, with his ushers and groomsmen. He's from Kerry, as are his brothers. The others are from Clare, Cork, Limerick, and Tipperary. They're all into the county plaid thing." He pointed out the different plaids on the men.

"That one's nice."

"That's the Tara tartan, also called the Murphy family tartan; it's one of the old ones."

The next picture was of Fiona.

"Oh, Danny, she's so beautiful! That mantilla!"

"The kilts may not be kosher, historically, but Irish lace is truly Irish."

Fiona was wearing a simple strapless sheath, lace over satin, with a floor-length mantilla of the same lace. She carried a cascade of calla lilies with ivy.

"Looking at her, it hard to believe that she was so much trouble for you," Donna laughed.

"CJ says that since she fell in love with Brendan, Fiona looks five years younger and acts ten years older. And look at what a beauty Ash has become." Danny clicked the next picture.

Donna gazed at the tall redhead, gowned in deep blue sapphire, carrying red poinsettias. "She always was gorgeous, Danny. Now she's just grown up; her face is a bit thinner, her cheekbones more pronounced. I guess she's a bit bustier, too."

They looked through the rest of the pictures. Danny explained that with the Christmas holiday, most everyone was free from work or school, so a lot of festivities took place on the days between Christmas and the wedding on the day before New Year's Eve. The wedding was at eleven and the party lasted the rest of the afternoon and well into the evening. It seemed that half of Ireland was there, as well as a large contingent of MacDonalds from Scotland, including the MacDonald himself, the new one, not the one that adopted Danny into the clan over thirty years ago. He passed back in '98.

"And who is this with Ash? He's so good looking, I almost wish I were twenty again."

"That's Brian Stewart, the son of one of Robin's something removed cousins. Brianna" Danny's voice broke just a little "was a very special person. We lost her two years ago, this past September."

"Well, there's a certain look about him."

"Well, if for some reason, Scotland obtained its independence from Great Britain and wanted to be a monarchy, according to the genealogy experts, he's the one who would be on the throne."

"And these shots, are they after the wedding?"

Danny explained that for the end of year holiday itself, after the bride and groom took their plane to their honeymoon in the British Virgin Islands, the Concannons and the MacDonalds took a quick trip over to Scotland and Angus' estate for the traditional Hogmanay celebrations.

Donna commented on the various photos as they came across the computer screen.

"This one of you, CJ and Paddy should be your Christmas card next year."

"That shot of your sister in green needs to be on an Irish Tourist Board poster."

Eventually, the last picture was clicked off and Danny removed the memory card from the PC.

Donna took the PC away and came back with more coffee and some cinnamon rolls.

"So, come Monday, you'll be back in the working world; working outside the home," Danny quickly added, taken aback at the glare Donna gave him. Lord knows he knew how hard it was dealing with just Paddy; he could only imagine having four toddlers at once. "Are you like CJ, ambivalent about the idea, or champing at the bit the way Margaret is?"

"We-el-ll, not champing at the bit, but I am looking forward to this next step in my life. There is nothing in my past that could have led me to believe how much I reveled in this year with the kids, but Nancy McNally and the President have a great deal of confidence in me and I'm ready to prove them right. There **are** some people who think my working in State is a terrible idea."

"Not Josh?" Danny asked.

"No, he just said 'Whatever you want, Donnatella' and smiled his 'Josh' smile."

"That's it?"

"Yeah, we haven't talked that much about it. I know, I know," she raised her hand as Danny started to open his mouth, "you and CJ swear by talking about everything, and we do try but we really haven't had the time - " She blushed and looked down as Danny gave her his best "quit bull-shitting me" look.

"Well, let me ask what Josh should have asked; why State?"

"Because I need it on my résumé if I'm going to -"

She stopped, realizing what she was about to say. Then as if compelled by some greater force, she looked directly at Danny and knew that he knew.

Danny was used to having vague premonitions about things. For example, he remembered when Sam came to the house in Santa Monica on Valentine's Day almost three years earlier, wondering if he should accept then Governor Tillman's request to become Lieutenant Governor. "Something" told Danny to tell Sam "say yes". There had been other times, like buying condoms the day after Leo McGarry passed or telling CJ to not take the freeway home from her offices near the UCLA campus (a semi-trailer overturned, dumping 300 boxes of roofing nails over the road), equally as vague.

Never before today had he experienced an actual prescient vision. But now, in the warmth of the Lyman den, he saw an older but still stunning Donnatella Moss Lyman standing on the steps of the Capitol, with her left hand on a battered copy of the Torah (and he didn't know how he knew what the book was not a Bible, he just did) in the hands of her husband, with her right hand raised to heaven. He heard the words "faithfully execute the office of President of the United States" come from her mouth.

Wow, he said to himself and looked at Donna. She looked back at him with a piercing stare and he knew that she knew what he knew.

"How long have you known?" Danny asked her.

"Since the weekend you and CJ got married," came the answer. "How do you see it?"

Danny told Donna that she saw her surrounded by Josh, her children, their spouses, and a couple of grandkids. He told her that he saw former President Santos pushing the wheelchair of former President Bartlet; both Danny and Donna somehow knew that the two men would have lost their wives by that time.

Donna told Danny that she saw Toby holding onto Andy as if she were his one connection to reality and knew that Toby would be keeping something from the Bartlet gang on that occasion. She told him that she saw former President Seaborn patiently explaining to a fragile Morgan that no, he was no longer leader of the country, had not been for eight years. She told Danny that she saw him with CJ, both of them gray but still vital, more in love than ever.

Danny did not tell her that his vision was different, varying. Sometimes CJ and he were there together; sometimes she was there with someone else, a face he couldn't quite discern, and that he was sort of off to the side with Abbey Bartlet, Helen Santos, and another woman he did not recognize.

"So," he asked, "do you know how you will get there?"

"No; only that I'll be President."

"Have you told Josh?"

"No; and you can't tell CJ!"

"Okay," he agreed. "What else do you know?"

"Know?"

"About the future."

"Nothing," Donna answered, "just that I will be the first woman and first person of Italian descent to be elected President of the United States. Do **you** see a lot about the future?" Donna stared at Danny.

"No," he laughed. "I basically have 'hunches'. This is the first time I've 'seen the future', so to speak. Now, my brother-in-law's great aunt Sorcha, everyone says she has the Second Sight."

"That's what Nona Elisabetta called it," Donna added. "She didn't have it, but claimed her aunt did.

"Anyway, back two conversations ago, part of why I haven't talked with Josh is because I know that he will be with me, beside me, behind me. I just hope I can learn to be like CJ."

"Like CJ?"

"You know, being famous and 'out there' on my own, yet be the deferential and respectful wife to my husband."

"You really think CJ is a traditional 'little woman', Donna?" Danny laughed easily.

"No, don't be silly. But she does seem to accept your, what's the word, 'primacy'? a lot easier than I would with Josh. Remember that time in the hot tub? No way in hell I would have let Josh speak to me like that in private, let alone in front of others."

"So now I'm the archetypical male chauvinist pig? Maybe I throw my weight around the personal relationship because CJ is out there on the world stage, because I need to inflate my ego, my sense of worth?"

"Oh, come on, Danny. I can't think of anyone who is more secure in himself than you are. I just mean that what you and CJ have is rare. The two of you should be so thankful you have whatever it is that makes it work for you."

"Well, it's not that rare. Look at the Bartlets. But we are grateful about what makes it work, and a good deal of that is being open and honest so -".

They were interrupted by the door chimes.

"Hi Donna!" CJ kissed her friend.

"Hey, fishboy!" CJ kissed her husband.

_Later that evening._

Josh left the West Wing early and was home by 7:15.

The four friends ate a casual supper – beef stew and French bread – catching up on the happenings of their lives and those of their friends. Paddy ate with the Lyman kids and then easily settled back down on the couch in the Lyman nursery.

Danny echoed CJ's earlier words of sympathy to Josh on the loss of his mother.

"Will you be seeing Paul on this trip?" Donna asked CJ.

"He's with the twins in Trinidad – a present from his wife's father. We seem to keep missing each other. Speaking of missing, I didn't get a chance to see Margaret this afternoon. Will they be at Rick and Ginger's tomorrow? And why isn't she using the day-care at the White House?"

"Because John has decided he wants to be Mr. Mom for a while," Josh answered.

"Really? John Hoynes, dealing with diapers and formula?" Danny was amused. "I mean, don't get me wrong, taking care of Paddy is the most amazing thing I've ever done, well, except for my wife," he ducked as CJ threw a small pillow at him, "but if, ten years ago, if you had asked the Press Corps to make a list of who in the Administration would be playing twenty-first century nurturing Dad – Sam, for sure, Ed and Larry, natch, Charlie, then you and Toby, but I would have put Lionel Tribbey and Oliver Platt ahead of John Hoynes on the list."

"How much of this" Josh spread his hands wide "did we even remotely think about back then? You and CJ, me and Donna, everyone else?"

"Well, I was hoping," Danny answered, then began to laugh. The others joined in.

"CJ, why don't you come help me pick out the best suit to wear on Monday?"

After CJ and Donna left the room, Josh poured himself a brandy (Danny having refused given the champagne and Guinness he had consumed at Fiona's wedding) and handed Danny another caffeine-free Diet Coke.

"So the changes keep coming, don't they, Josh?"

"Huh?"

"Last year, you were adjusting to going from one kid to four and from two salaries to one. Now you're going from one salary to two, but not having Donna waiting here for you when you get home. Plus losing your mom."

"Well, to quote the Airplane: 'Life is change, how it differs from the rocks'. We adjust, my friend."

"Actually, Kantner lifted that line from a work of sci-fi called 'The Chrysalids' by John Wyndham. You should read it sometime."

The two men sipped their drinks in companionable silence.

"Danny, I tried to have this conversation with CJ earlier today and it came out all wrong, then I got interrupted before we could straighten it out.

"How do you do it? You do it right, or at least as right as any man can do it. You manage CJ. You do, Danny," Josh said as Danny shook his head, "but you've never held her back. Your pride in her is engraved on your forehead. And yet no one would ever think that you are anything less than the man of the house, that if necessary, you would fight monsters and dragons for her and Paddy, but that you're in charge. That's what I want to know. If Donna moves into that circle, will I be able to find that balance between liberated husband and protective mate? And, more important, will she let manage her the way CJ lets you manage her?"

"Her accepting you the way CJ accepts me? I'm not sure. Your relationship started out different than ours did. You finding the balance, I think you can, Josh. It's a matter of caring, loving, and talking. But it's also knowing that she needs the security of the boundaries our relationship. In a sense, I'm the rock that holds the string that keeps her within our atmosphere. The secret is, I'm very generous with that string."

"I know. It's just that for the longest time, Donna's been **my** rock. Switching the roles will be hard."

"Look, what works for me and CJ may not be the model for the two of you. Look at the Bartlets. They are each other's rock. Maybe that's what you and Donna should be."

"Yeah, maybe -"

Meanwhile, in the master bedroom, CJ weighed her answer to Donna's question.

"Primacy? Danny? I don't know, Donna, if I can put it in words. In one sense, it started the first time we made love. It transcended any sense of equality, or difference, or hierarchy. All I knew is that he was male, I was female, and that we were created for each other.

"A first, it was just in bed, but it gradually permeated the entire relationship. It's not about primacy, but it **is** primal. It just feels right that if there is any doubt, or indecision, I follow his lead. And if Amy Gardner wants to try to take away my "I am woman, hear me roar" badge, Danny will back my fight with her from here to the edge of the earth.

"But it's not just Danny. It was like this with Paul. And it's like that with the guys that have it together – Toby always had it with Andy, still does even now. What I see at home with Frank and Diana, with Ken and Laura. And for an example of a case where the guy didn't have it, look at Liz and Doug."

"But, CJ, you always were out there, doing big things. I started out as Josh's go-fer, then moved off into a different sphere. I feel as if I have to make sure he knows I'm his equal. Now I'm going to be, if not his equal, at least in the same strata, maybe even a higher one. "

"Donna, my love, I have great faith in the two of you. In the end, you are his woman, he is your man.

"Now, as your friend, believe me when I say that if you wear this grey suit, you need to wear some color next to your face. How about this pink scarf at your neck, draped like it was the shawl collar of a blouse?"


	52. Blue Cross

**Blue Cross**

CJ/Danny

Rating Teen– just a mention of sex this time

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

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_Early March, 2012; Rome, Italy_

"Yes, dear, I'm walking over to the web cam."

Danny Concannon moved to the desk where his laptop was connected to the internet, his cell phone in one hand, and the bag containing his neatly pressed charcoal grey suit in the other.

"See," he told his wife, "I did as you requested. You'll have to take my word that I did not wear the suit since you packed it for me last week, but I did send it to the hotel cleaners for pressing. Here's the tag." He held the pink slip of paper in front of his laptop's camera and sent the picture to CJ.

"And here's the shirt, tie, and socks, still in their plastic bag. Do you believe me now?"

"Yes, honey, but, please, call me back when you're dressed and ready to go, let me look at you. I wish I could be there with you. Love you." CJ kissed Danny through the phone and ended the connection.

For the most part, when the webcams were used, it was because CJ was away on an extended trip for "Road to a Better World". The project was now well established and Glenallen Walken was still making most of the fund-raising trips (with some help from Ginger's mother-in-law), but CJ still had a ten to fourteen day trip two or three times a year.

This trip to several of the European cities where the present Pope had served the church while his rank was bishop, then cardinal, with the stop in Rome slightly more than half way through the itinerary, was the first time they had used it when Danny was gallivanting and CJ was keeping the home fires burning.

The software and the technology were a boon, especially now that Paddy was developing a sense of time and duration, and was imprinting with both his parents and their gender-specific place in his universe.

CJ knew she was going a bit over the top, but it wasn't every day that your husband had a private audience with the Pope and she wanted to make sure that Danny made a good impression on the man. True, the contracts had been signed several months ago, but, to some extent, money would be no object if the Pope or someone else in the Vatican bureaucracy decided that Danny was not the right man to write the Pontiff's biography.

And to some extent, the money was not as important to her as was Danny's reputation in the literary world. They would manage without the funds, but she didn't want any bad publicity for her man.

There was no way she could have taken off the time to be with Danny for the entire time he was in Europe, doing research for the book, so she went into super worrywart mode before he left, making sure that his suit fit properly (it needed some slight alternations, Danny had toned up a bit more), having it cleaned, picking out just the right shirt (a pale to medium aquamarine that accented Danny's eyes) and tie (a darker teal and aquamarine pattern with just a hint of a rust stripe, plus a matching handkerchief square for the breast pocket), made sure that he had brand new socks to match the suit, and took his shoes to the cobbler for new heels and a special treatment on the leather. And, of course, there was a trip to the barber the day before he flew off to Europe for a haircut, a beard trimming, and a manicure. She hoped that the grooming would last through the week and reminded him twice to make sure he saw "a professional" the afternoon before the interview for a brush up, especially on the beard and mustache.

Still, she worried. Diana had offered to take Paddy so she could fly over just for the audience, but Paddy had been having problems with his ears and throat and CJ didn't want both her and Danny eight time zones away from their son.

Danny had endured all the fuss over his appearance with patient bemusement. He bit his tongue to keep from telling her that he had been dressing and grooming himself since he was nineteen and when needed, he cleaned up quite nicely. After all, he told himself, CJ had managed to deal with auto mechanics, burned out light bulbs, flipped circuit breakers, and driving in bad weather for several decades before their marriage. Now she accepted his wanting to do all the "guy" things for her (although he didn't expect her to work helplessly in the dark or without power until he came home from class if he wasn't there when things went ker-fluey. "That's what the neighbors are for," he laughingly told her as she threw a pillow at him, before telling her that of course he knew she could take care of herself.)Truth be told, just as it felt good to do things for her, it also felt good to have her do things for him. All in all, being married was fun.

Danny wondered how much of her fussing was due to the extraordinary nature of his appointment this morning and how much was due to pre-menstrual or menstrual hormones. CJ hadn't said anything and he wasn't going to bring up the subject, but she was due yesterday or today. They were nearing the end of the "let's just wait and see" period that Scott Winkler had decreed and Danny knew his wife was getting anxious.

He was still serene about the situation. At the New Year, when they were in Ireland for Fee's wedding to Brendan Collins, he was reassured by Robin's great-aunt Sorcha, who by now must be closer to one hundred than to ninety that "Mariah didn't lie to you; it will happen". How Sorcha knew about the labor hall nurse from almost four years ago, Danny didn't know, but his Celtic genes told him to accept and not to wonder why or how.

Of course, CJ had been in similar "let me dress you and groom you" mode that September day back in '08 when they returned to the residence of the Prince of Wales because "my mother would like to meet you", so maybe it had nothing at all to do with what might or might not be happening in her uterus.

_Thirty minutes later_

"Well, love of my life, do I pass inspection?" Danny paraded in front of the webcam, did a slow full turn for CJ.

"Just a little smudge under your mustache, right above your lip on the left side." CJ reached up to her own mouth and indicated where Danny needed a final bit of grooming. Then she touched the tip of her finger to her tongue and reached toward the screen.

Danny instinctively moved slightly back. He remembered the first time he saw his wife take a tissue and use her saliva to wipe a smear of chocolate from Paddy's mouth. Danny's heart swelled to see the witty and urbane former Press Secretary, the dedicated and professional former White House Chief of Staff, in the role of devoted mother to his son. However, he wasn't ready to receive such treatment himself. Smoothing a lapel, yes. Taming an unruly curl, no problem. A spit cleaning, yeeww. Why it bothered him, he didn't know. He and CJ had certainly exchanged a lot of saliva since the day after Leo McGarry's death.

"Knock 'em dead, Fishboy. Love you."

"Love you back. Now go back to bed." It was the middle of the night in Santa Monica.

_Four hours later_

Except for his relationship with CJ and the birth of his son, it had been the most amazing event of Danny's life.

Not the interview – he had interviewed far too many people, famous and infamous, to be cowed by asking questions of the Pope.

The Pope was another interesting subject; Danny needed to get into the man's mind, to thoroughly comprehend and understand the man without becoming one with the man. This was something he knew how to do.

What was amazing was that after the questioning, the Pope sent for refreshments and what had been an interview became a conversation.

The Pope, or his aides, had done the research well. The man knew of his background, his years at Notre Dame, knew of his marriage to CJ, knew of their membership at St. Monica's, knew that Danny was on the parish council and was a lector, knew that CJ had served on two _ad hoc_ financial committees for the parish.

"You have the one child?"

"Yes, your Holiness. Paddy, Padraic, will be three in June. We are hoping for another."

"It is good. I am distressed that so many couples are not open to children in their marriages."

"If I may, your Holiness, I think that most couples are open to children in their marriages, in their lives. What they are not open to is that a child result every time they express their love for each other.

"In our case, because of our ages, we were open to the idea of a child as soon as possible. When we lost two beautiful little boys at their birth a year into our marriage," he accepted the Pope's sympathetic murmurings with a nod, "we immediately tried again and were blessed with our son a year later. But it wasn't until that child was almost eighteen months that we felt ready to try to bring another child into our family. For those eighteen months we did indeed use contraceptive pills and felt we were doing the right thing morally when we did so. After we decided we were ready to add another child, my wife stopped using the pills, but on our doctor's advice, we used a diaphragm for several months to ensure that my wife and I were capable of creating another child and that our bodies were in the best physical shape, to ensure that this potential child would be healthy and would be nurtured in the body of a healthy mother. Again, we felt that we were making the right decision."

Danny told him of the many younger couples in their parish who chose to wait for the best time to bring a child into their lives; to save money for a down payment on a house or to save money so that one of the parents could remain in the home with the young children. Danny told him of the couples that chose to wait to make sure that they had developed the mature, sacramental marriage that was needed when bringing children into the family. Danny told the Pope of the many couples who spaced their children to allow for attention to be paid to each child's needs, to ensure that the mother had recovered from the birth and nurturing of one newborn before beginning another, or to keep up with the demands of an ever-changing career that provided well-being to the mother's mind as well as to the financial well-being of the family.

When the Pope commented that love need not always be physical, Danny told the man that in a marriage, it is not possible to differentiate among the components.

"There are times, Your Holiness, when I cannot separate _érōs, philía_, and_ agápē_. Indeed, I would say that most of the time what I feel for my wife is a combination of all three and that the combination is greater than the three emotions. It is almost a reflection of the Trinity, _érōs, philía_, and_ agápē_ combining to become a fourth entity."

"Interesting. And what does one call this fourth entity, my son?"

"Everyone has a different name for it, Your Holiness; I call it CJ."

Danny discussed other aspects of love with the Pontiff. Danny told him of the relationship between Hank and Steve.

"I must admit, Your Holiness, that I cannot understand the act, the physical desire, but there is no way that anyone can be with these two men for more than five minutes and not see the devotion, the caring, that they feel for each other. They have been faithful to each other for more than ten years. They love the little girl they are raising as much as CJ and I love our son. I can maybe understand why the Church would condemn the physical act. What I cannot understand is condemning the caring for another human being. What I cannot understand is why the Church is officially so adamantly opposed to providing health care benefits for these people. Granted, our way of providing for such care in the United States is flawed, but it is the system in which we have to work. I don't understand how a loving and caring relationship between two people is any threat to my marriage or to the marriages of anyone else I know."

The Pope told Danny that he obviously was not going to be able to change Danny's conscience on the matter and that perhaps they should discuss other things.

Throughout the conversation, Danny had been fascinated by the tea service they were using. The items appeared to be old but well cared for, a few scratches on the dishes, a few darns on the fabrics. The dishes were a pale ivory with medium blue crosses, simple ones, the four arms of equal length, simple right angles on the edges, around the border; the napkins had a similar blue cross in one corner. The Pope explained that the china and the table linens had belonged to his mother and that he had inherited them when she died. He rarely used them but for some reason, asked his housekeeper to use them today.

"For her wedding, she was given a set of fine Meissen, of course, but that was only for Sundays and special occasions. This is what she used for everyday. I have many fond memories of eating her soups and her sauerbraten from these dishes. Also, when I was ill, of drinking hot tea laced with honey while she held me. My mother was a saint. If I could, if it weren't for all the rules, I would canonize her. Saint Hilde. But I can't. So you see, my son, even I cannot have everything the way I think it should be," the man laughed.

The Pope asked again about Danny's and CJ's desire for another child.

"We've been trying, this past year. If I may, Your Holiness, I would greatly welcome your prayers. My wife tries to hide it, but she is becoming quite anxious, concerned that we will not have another baby. Her doctor told us to try for a year before looking into extraordinary measures, but that time is almost over."

"And you, my son, are you also anxious?"

Danny took a deep breath and told the Pope about Mariah, about how she appeared out of nowhere to give him comfort, how she told him that there would be at least two children for them. Danny also told him about Aisling and Sorcha, as well as about his and Erin's much weaker sense of "feeling things".

The Pope told Danny that he had no doubt that Mariah was indeed who Danny considered her to be. There were many such stories, the man told Danny. If the Vatican were to investigate every one, there would be no time to do the other work of the Church. The Pope personally believed that most, if not all, of the stories were true.

He also told Danny that God does indeed work in mysterious ways and that what Danny, Erin, Aisling, and Sorcha experience could very well be a gift from God and not one from an evil source.

"God does not create evil, my child. It is man that makes evil out of God's creation."

Eventually, the time came to an end. The Pope blessed Danny, gave him some rosaries and medals for himself, his family and his friends, and told Danny that he felt his story was in good hands.

_A week later; New York, NY_

After a few more days in Italy, Danny had flown into Kennedy the day before yesterday to meet with his publisher.

The discussions with his publisher were becoming more frustrating. Danny felt that some of the staff were being too timid, cowed by the idea of publishing the life story of such an important person. They were ready to sacrifice literary integrity for gain, in terms of both money and street credit. After his third "God damn it!" of the hour, Danny decided that he was wasting his time in New York, so he told his account executive that he was going home a day early.

The woman knew that when Danny got that look in his eye, that tone in his voice, that there was no persuading him to change his mind. She told Danny that she would explain things to the others, to not worry.

Danny returned to his hotel, logged onto his favorite travel site, and booked himself onto a flight leaving from Kennedy at 4:00 PM; he had three hours. He threw his things into his bags, checked out, and caught a cab.

On the way to the airport, he tried to call CJ to let her know of the change in plans. No answer at the house. He remembered something about a birthday party for one of Nancy's nieces, a party with a clown and animals, an all-day experience for the children, everything a doting grandfather could think to provide. Danny called CJ's cell. No answer.

Danny sighed. She had been so good about charging her phone since the incident a year and a half ago, but she begun to slip since right after Christmas.

Danny tried the Muñoz house. Carmen answered the phone and confirmed that CJ, Paddy, her mother, and Maggie were up in Malibu.

Danny thought about calling Diana's cell but decided against it. He would discuss it with CJ in private rather than bring the neighbors into the situation.

He did call Hank and Steve. They would see to it that someone met his flight.

The flying gods were on his side – the plane arrived 15 minutes early and his bags were the first ones off the plane. There was one message waiting on his cell. Wally Hammash would be waiting for him; he should call as soon as he landed so Wally could get into position by the American pickup point.

At 7:45, he walked into the house. When Wally offered to bring over some supper, he told the neighbor no thanks; he didn't need anything to eat. He was barely adjusted to East Coast time after Rome; he just wanted a shower and to crash. Danny did call Frank Muñoz to find out when the women were expected (about 9:30, Frank said) and asked Frank to call Diana. He wanted CJ to know he was in the house.

Danny stripped off his clothes as he walked into the master bath. He grabbed one of CJ's towels and held it to his face. Two weeks was a long time to be apart and he drank in her scents from the slightly damp cotton.

He set down the towel and started the shower. As he waited for the water to warm up, he looked over to CJ's vanity, enjoying the sight of her slightly cluttered disarray – liquid soap, mouthwash, toothbrush, pregnancy testing kit, mascara, lip gloss – pregnancy testing kit?

The package was sealed. There was a sales slip dated three days ago stuck to the side of the plastic wrapper.

Danny plopped himself down on the commode. Apparently, what he didn't want to ask about, she didn't want to tell him over the phone. He did some mental arithmetic. Assuming that it happened during the last window, the baby would be born right around Thanksgiving. Please, God, let it be, he prayed.

Danny sensed the steam filling the room, got up and took his shower. He was tired, dead tired, but his adrenaline was pumping. He couldn't wait, so he dialed Diana's cell and asked to speak with CJ.

"Honey?" she sounded happy, concerned, and a little embarrassed all at the same time. "Danny, I am so sorry about not charging my phone. Please forgive me. Things got a little hectic yesterday, some issues with the secondary roads in Zimbabwe, and then Paddy decided he was going to be a parachuter and had actually climbed onto the kitchen table and jumped, just skinned his knees, but crying all over, and then the circuit breaker for the lights tripped, and then -"

"You bought a pregnancy testing kit at the drugstore," Danny decided he needed to stop the babbling and since he could neither kiss nor tickle (thank you, Paul Reeves) her over the phone, he had best interrupt her.

After a few seconds of silence, "I didn't know how to say it over the phone, didn't want to say it over the phone, didn't want to jinx anything, but, yeah, it should have been seven or eight days ago."

"I didn't want to ask over the phone, but I guess I interpreted the vibes I got from you to be hormonal symptoms," Danny answered.

"Oh, it's definitely hormones," CJ laughed. "I'm just not sure which ones. I've missed you, so has your son. I'm going to ask Diana if we can leave now. Love you."

"Love you back."

In spite of his nervous excitement, Danny must have dozed off because the next thing he knew, he was being hugged and slobbered over by his energetic son.

"Daddy's home! I love you, Daddy! What did you bring me?" Paddy started bouncing on his knees on the bed beside his father.

Laughing, Danny kissed the little boy who looked so much like his mother, pushed himself off the bed, and pulled CJ, who had walked rather than run to the bedroom wing of the house, into his arms.

"I don't know which is worse, staying home while you're paving Africa, or schlepping all over Europe while you're here at home, but I don't like being apart from you, darling," he whispered into her ear.

Her warm little sigh into the side of his neck indicated that she felt the same.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Paddy pulled on the hem of Danny's boxers.

Given his automatic reaction to being close to CJ after so long, Danny did not want to be stripped naked at this particular point, so he walked over to his luggage and extracted a model of the Lamborghini Murcielago convertible and a small box.

Danny opened the box and put the medal and chain inside it around Paddy's neck. He explained that the medal of St. Patrick had been blessed by the Pope especially for Paddy.

Paddy was more interested in the car.

"So you gripe about me driving a convertible and yet you start giving your not yet three year old son ideas about driving one," CJ complained, mostly in fun but maybe just a little bit in earnest.

"He's a boy, you're a girl," Danny told her and weaved away as she tried to smack his ass.

"So what did you bring me?" CJ smiled at him.

Danny's eyes got dark and serious.

"Maybe?" He reached toward, but did not touch, her stomach. "When?"

"It's most accurate in the morning," CJ said, "but if you want to try now -".

"Let's not tempt fate," Danny pulled her into his arms again, and whispered into her hair. "We'll wait. But while we're waiting," he started moving toward the bed.

"Unt-uh. First presents. Then we put Paddy to bed. Then and only then-".

Laughing, he reached again into his luggage and brought forth a St. Christopher's medal. "Even though he's been debunked, I asked His Holiness for this one for you, because of all the work you do to make travel and transportation easier for the world."

Then he reached into the bag he carried with him on the planes, and pulled out a black velvet box.

Inside was a wide bracelet, very fine threads of yellow, white, rose, and green gold woven into an intricate pattern.

"Oh, Danny!" CJ sighed. She flexed the bracelet, running her fingers over the liquid width and length of it. "It feels like linen rather than metal, almost – well, 'cloth of gold' is the phrase that comes to mind." Then, as if remembering how much she liked to "do for him", she hugged him and asked, "Can I fix you something to eat?"

"I don't need food," Danny replied as he reached under her top and expertly undid the back of her bra with one hand, and then pushed that hand under the waistband of her capris and her panties, reaching down her backside and between her legs. Her legs separated and clamped his right thigh between them and she rocked back and forth.

"Let me put Paddy to bed," she said with ragged breath through gritted teeth.

"No, I'll go do it; he'll listen better to me." She nodded her head in agreement. Then he whispered into her ear, "Would you mind putting on Abbey's gown?"

Later, the midnight blue negligee and his boxers were lying companionably on the floor beside the bed. Lying **in** the bed, in post-coital relaxation, CJ told Danny about the party in Malibu. Danny rested his hand at the top of her legs. Thinking about an encore, he delicately moved his fingers.

"So there's Mr. Este**VEZ**! and his wife, patiently letting the **CLOWNS**! make fools of them – Danny! – while Nancy and Charlie were **TRYING!** to balance themselves on the tightrope that was only **NINE!** inches off the ground - " CJ sighed and decided she didn't want to talk anymore.

After the second time, Danny told CJ of his conversation with the Pope.

"I know I didn't change his mind on anything, but maybe I gave him something to think about."

They drifted off to sleep, their last thoughts being of the little box sitting on the bathroom counter.

_The next morning_

CJ and Danny were sitting on the edge of the bed, hands clasped, waiting for the oven timer to complete it's ticking down to "zero".

"It says that a blue plus sign indicates a positive result," CJ repeated for the third time.

Danny nodded his head as he did the other two times. He had read the instruction sheet over and over, just as she had.

Ding!

CJ sighed and looked at Danny.

Danny reached over, cupped the back of her head, and kissed her the way he had done that first time in her office, twelve years ago.

"I love you, Jeannie."

Then they looked at the device that held their hopes.

"Danny!" CJ was shaking, CJ was crying, CJ was holding his hand so tightly, he thought it would break. "It's a -".

Danny looked down to see the little blue cross, the one he had seen on the Pope's mother's china.

And Danny thanked God.


	53. Changes in Attitudes

**Changes in Attitudes**

CJ/Danny; Josh/Donna; many other West Wingers

Rating Adult –

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

_Thursday, April 26, 2012; Washington, DC_

"Good afternoon. I'm Claudia Concannon. I'm meeting Reverend Reeves for lunch?"

"Of course, Madame," the maître d'hotel smiled with Gallic charm. "Dr. Reeves is already waiting for you at the table. If you will come with me."

CJ followed the tuxedoed man as he led her through the old townhouse turned French bistro, leaving the foyer, traversing the first one small dining room, then another, finally entering the enclosed sun porch.

CJ smiled as she spotted the minister and Paul returned her smile, gracefully standing as she approached. The two exchanged one armed hugs and light cheek kisses; then the maître de seated CJ and asked about beverages.

"CJ?" Paul looked at his first love.

"Seltzer with lime."

"Seltzer with lime for the lady," Paul repeated her order to the man, "and unsweetened iced tea for me."

"I'm so glad we have this time to talk, to catch up," CJ told Paul. "I know you'll be at Rick and Ginger's tomorrow night, but it will be a huge crowd. Anyway, how're the kids? Excited about next month?"

"Excited, apprehensive, a little sad to be ending this phase of their lives."

Derrick and Deborah would be graduating from Oberlin and Miami of Ohio, respectively, in May. Derrick had chosen the University of Washington School of Law over Ohio State, Villanova, and Boston University. Deborah had been accepted to the graduate schools of Journalism at Florida, Michigan, and Massachusetts, but as soon as she got the letter from Columbia, her dream for the past four years, her decision was made.

"And how are you feeling about this?"

"Excited, apprehensive, a little sad to see this phase of their lives ending." Paul laughed. "Prouder than you can ever imagine, wishing that Alicia could be here to see them recognized for this milestone in their lives. Both of them are graduating _magna_, with Deborah missing _summa_ by just a few hundredths of a point. I'll be in Ohio for most of May."

The waiter brought their beverages, recited the specials (chilled cream of cucumber soup; a spinach salad with choice of crab, grilled chicken, or steak; a shrimp quiche; grilled swordfish à la grecque; filet mignon with bordelaise sauce), and asked if they needed more time. (They each ordered a cup of the soup, but decided they did need more time for the rest of their meal.)

CJ's cell rang.

"Excuse me a second, it's Danny."

She made the conversation brief, then rang off with her husband.

"The papal nuncio will be in New York tomorrow, Danny has a lunch time meeting with him, so instead of coming down on Amtrak, he'll be checking a shuttle out of La Guardia, but he'll still be here by 4:30. He says 'hi' and congratulations on the kids, will talk more with you tomorrow night. Told me to break a leg in front of the Senate tomorrow morning."

When CJ was asked to testify for the Foreign Relations committee on what "Road to a Better World" had learned about giving aid and how that experience might benefit the United States, Danny decided to plan a consulting visit with his publisher at the same time. They left Paddy in Frank and Diana's care and flew into DC on Tuesday night, staying with Rick and Ginger for this trip. After a morning visit at the _Post_, Danny took the train to New York Wednesday afternoon.

The waiter came back; Paul relayed their orders (chicken piccata and salad for CJ, the swordfish with salad for him). The minister was a little surprised that CJ hadn't chosen the swordfish. As he remembered from their time together in California, it was one of her favorites.

"And how is Paddy?"

"Just fine, if he doesn't kill us by trying to kill himself."

CJ told Paul of an incident last week.

"He couldn't find his little scissors, but knew that there was a pair on the bookshelves in the den. Danny puts them up there precisely to keep them out of Paddy's reach. So Paddy moves Danny's rolling desk chair next to the book shelves, then a hassock next to the chair. He climbs the hassock, then onto the chair seat. The next step is the shelf that is at the level of the back of the chair, then up one more shelf, when he can reach the shelf that has Danny's scissors, so he's climbing the bookcase as if it were the face of a cliff.

"However, he needs both hands to get back down, so he puts the scissors between his teeth, with the pointed ends inside his mouth, and begins to climb down. That's how Danny and I find him.

"Danny gets there a split second before I do, grabs him, pulls out the scissors, and throws them to the floor. I'm there and take Paddy out of Danny's arm just as Danny pulls back his hand, so I end up getting the swat Danny intended for Paddy's butt on **my** arm. Later, Danny and I have a discussion. We had talked this out before, that we would never say 'never' to spanking, but that it would be for something extremely dire. Danny tells me that a single smack to reinforce avoiding a dangerous situation given to a child too young to listen to reason does not constitute a spanking."

Paul told CJ that he agreed with Danny.

"And so would have Alicia. She swatted the kids' fannies when they were toddlers, but if you were to ask them, I'm sure they would say that they really didn't remember that."

Paul asked after their neighbors and CJ told him about the new babies and other news. As she talked, he watched her, thinking that, in one sense, she was so much more beautiful now than she was back in Berkeley in the early '80's. The poise, the self-confidence, and the maturity had a good deal to do with it, of course, but those qualities had been there the times he had seen her between that chance meeting in Dulles almost three years ago. There was something else there today, he mused.

Then he put it together. She was drinking something not only non-alcoholic but also non-caffeinated. She didn't order the swordfish. She ate a piece of bread, something she rarely did, but didn't use any butter. She had always been animated, but her eyes were glowing even more than he remembered, and there was an aura of anticipation around her.

He smiled at her. "Sweetheart, are you pregnant?"

She blushed slightly, looked down at her plate, then met his eyes and smiled.

"How did you know?"

He picked up her hand, lightly kissed it. It may have been three decades ago, but he had spent almost two years with her in physical and emotional intimacy. I know you, sweetheart, he said to himself.

"I'm so happy for the two of you! Danny must be floating six inches off the ground! So, when? Boy or girl?"

"November, right around my birthday. We want to be surprised again, and all we want is a healthy baby, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that a little girl would be nice. No one here knows, Danny is so excited about making the announcement tomorrow at the party." The unspoken request to not only keep the secret but to also not let Danny know that Paul had figured out the secret was understood.

They halted the conversation as the waiter brought their salads and went through the pepper mill ritual (Paul never understood why restaurants made such a deal about the pepper mill. It wasn't as if the spice were that rare, that the mechanics of the grinder were that esoteric, or the skill to operate it that specialized.)

"I'm so glad that you're so happy, sweetheart."

"Sometimes, I have to convince myself that all this is real. Paul, there were so many times when I thought that all this had passed out of my reach. I would remember that second October and almost wish," CJ stopped, her eyes becoming just a little moist.

Paul reached across the table and took her hand. He too remembered that time. CJ had been sick, a really bad cold that turned into strep throat. He brought her to the apartment, arranged to have someone cover for him at his job, and, except for his classes and his study group, spent his free time taking care of her. Her recuperation was slow, and she ended up spending pretty much the whole month at the apartment.

When her period didn't come at the end of the month as she expected, she wasn't concerned at first. It was not uncommon for it to happen sometimes with the pills, she had been told when she first went to Student Health a year ago. However, that weekend, when they had invited her roommate Alex and Luke, the guy that Paul thought would be good for Alex, to dinner, Luke mentioned something he learned while volunteering at the free clinic earlier in the week. A woman didn't know she was pregnant, insisted that she had never missed a pill.

"It turns out that antibiotics can affect the efficacy of the pills; that she should have used backup after she had been treated for an ear infection," Luke told the others.

That night, CJ quaked in Paul's arms. Back then, more time was required between the missed period and the first use of the at-home tests in order avoid a false negative. He kept telling her that they would deal with it together, whatever "it" was.

Paul didn't tell her that his mind was already making contingency plans. He looked at the jewelry ads, determining how much ring he could afford with the current balance in his "CJ" account. He made surreptitious inquiries about extra weekend work, resigned himself to quitting the law school rugby club, checked out how much child care would be at the married students' co-op, grateful that she would be able to finish out the current year and recover in time for the start of her senior year and his final year of law school. He planned what he would tell her father. He looked into a low-cost trip to Mexico for a short honeymoon trip over Christmas break.

When the time came to do the test, it came back negative, but she didn't fully relax until she did have her period the next time.

Her voice brought him back to the present.

"I remember, about three months after we married, when I woke up with proof that I wasn't pregnant, that I wondered if God was getting back at me for"

"He doesn't work that way, CJ, you know that!" Paul interrupted her. Then he smiled at her. "But, you know, there was a small part of me that was a little disappointed when everything came back negative. I had figured out how to make it all work, you and me and the baby, being married that final year in school. You know, I never even considered that if you had been pregnant, you might have wanted to get rid"

In the end, I don't think I could have," she smiled back at him. "Even if you had washed your hands of me," she put up her other hand to forestall his indignation that she would have thought for even one second that he would have done so, "I probably would have arranged for Randy and Gina to take care of it for me while I finished undergrad, then figured out something for grad school. But I guess it wasn't in God's plans."

"You know, CJ, I'm not really sure how often God has plans for us. Or, rather, I think that He has many different scenarios and allow us to choose one. I'm sure that if you had been pregnant, that we would have had a good life together, a good marriage. I'm sure that if Alicia had stayed at Yale, instead of marrying me, that she would have found someone else and also had a fulfilling life, and I'm sure that the same would have held true for Danny. Now, whether or not Jed Bartlet would have become president without your help, I don't know. Whether I would have been as good a lawyer as I am a minister, I don't know. I don't know everything about what would have happened if you hadn't walked away from me because you were scared, but – CJ?" He stopped, seeing the stricken look on her face.

"That's what I did, isn't it?" she reflected. "That's what I almost did with Danny; those are the words he used. 'It's okay to be scared, but you're not going to walk away from me because you're scared. I'm not that scary.' At least, by the time he came into my life, I learned," she laughed.

"CJ, was **I **that scary?" he asked her softly.

CJ looked at him, saw the minute glimmer of hurt in his eyes. She shook her head slowly from side to side, silently formed the word "no", and smiled..

His innate sense of courtesy lightened the moment, not wanting to cause her any discomfort.

"So maybe I should have been more insistent?" Paul laughed.

The waiter came with their main courses and they kept quiet while he served them and checked to see what else he might do for them. CJ and Paul each took a few bites in silence.

"You want to hear something maybe eerie?" CJ asked. "About a month before our wedding, Danny told me that when he was weighing his options, when he knew he didn't want to be a political, investigative reporter any more, when he wasn't sure what he wanted to do, one of the things he considered was a late in life vocation to the priesthood. So I might have lost a second man to God. But Danny also said that, after talking with his friend Tim, he figured that -"

"He could handle celibacy, but the obedience thing would be the real kicker," Paul finished her thoughts. "You know, I've met several Catholic men who've said that. For me, I don't know if I could have managed the hard parts of ministry without Alicia there for comfort and support when I needed it."

"Which is why I still think you need a woman in your life. You **do**, Paul," she reiterated. "I was with you for almost two years, and I know how much better you were, how easier it was for you, grade-wise, work-wise, being a boyfriend-wise, everything-wise, when you got me in bed with you after two months."

"And the fact that it took me a while to get used to law school, to Berkeley, had nothing to do with it? I freely admit that having you with me, having you love me, made those years as close to perfect as possible, but CJ, sweetheart, please don't start meddling again."

"Well, maybe the acclimation played a role, and I'm not going to meddle. But promise me that you'll be open to the idea that God may have someone in mind for you, that God may have more plans for you."

"As the kids would say, 'Well, duh!'. But let's get back to you. Are you doing okay with the pregnancy? Morning sickness? Your work, traveling, the pressure?"

They finished their entrées, decided to split a slice of cheesecake, and had coffee (decaf for her). The waiter brought the check (she knew better than to try to pay for the meal), and filled their cups, then came back to do so two more times. It was only when they noticed that the wait staff was putting out wine glasses on all the tables around them that they realized they had spent most of the afternoon together, talking about so many different things. It was exactly like that first time at Berkeley.

"Ginger is going to think I dropped off the face of the earth!" CJ exclaimed as Paul helped her from her chair and they walked outside the restaurant. He apologized for not being able to take her to Ginger and Rick's ("I'm hosting the steering committee meeting for the Ecumenical Charities Organization in 30 minutes"), signaled for a cab, gave the driver the address, along with twenty-five dollars. She started to protest that she could pay her own cab fare, but stopped, realizing that Danny would have done the same thing had he been lunching with Chris or Katie. CJ reached up to kiss his cheek, received one in return, and shouted, "See you tomorrow night!" as the cab accelerated.

On the short trip to her hosts' townhouse, CJ reflected that she was glad that she and Paul had worked through the emotional issues that had sprung up between them as their renewed relationship found its way to its new comfort level. He would always be special to her, more special than any other man except Danny. Now, if only he would find a woman. In spite of his protests, she knew him. It wasn't just that he was much happier when he was getting laid regular, although that was no small consideration; Paul Reeves was born to make a woman happy and he was happiest when he was doing so. She would keep her promise not to try to find someone for him, but, then, they hadn't discussed her lighting candles, making a novena, or praying to whoever the patron saint for men looking for wives was. (She'd check with Fr. Luke; if push came to shove, there was always St. Valentine, she guessed).

As Paul drove back to his rectory, he found himself wondering what God's repertoire of scenarios had held back in 2006 right after Alicia had died.

What if he hadn't gone off to the missions but had taken the position with the NCC here in Washington that had been offered to him? Would he have looked up CJ? Now that he knew how lonely she had been at the time, with everyone having deserted her, would he and she have been of comfort to each other? And when Danny Concannon came back into her life, whom would she have chosen? Ah, well, you know what they say about "ifs and ands" he told himself.

That evening, at dinner, Rick told CJ and Ginger that the navy would be commissioning the USS Fitzwallace right after Independence Day in New London. Ginger decided to schedule the annual Bartlet Bunch reunion for that time and to hold it at the big old house in Newport. She would call the management company tomorrow, to make sure it was closed to public touring during that time.

After dinner, while Ginger was overseeing the older kids' homework, Donna called for CJ. She would be in the Senate committee room when CJ gave her testimony. Could they have lunch afterward? Donna had cleared her schedule for tomorrow. There were so many topics on which the two of them had to catch up and there wouldn't be time to do so at the party.

CJ checked with Ginger, who told her to go, relax, just be back by 7:00, when the first guests were due to arrive for the buffet supper and the party.

_Friday, April 27, 2012_

"Donna, it's really nice of you to take off the whole day to be with me. Here, you have some more of the antipasto."

Today, lunch was in an Italian restaurant.

"Actually, it's not the whole day. Nancy wanted me to sit in on your testimony and take good notes, give her my synopsis. You never can tell how things can get garbled by the time a congressional committee publishes its findings," Donna laughed. "CJ, are you sure you don't want some of this wine? Josh calls it an Italian Pinot Noir. It's very good."

When her companion refused the offer, Donna put together the fact that CJ wasn't drinking wine and that she wasn't eating any of the "to die for" soft mozzarella on the antipasto platter. Only Donna didn't ask the question; she stated the fact.

"You're pregnant."

"First Paul, and now you. So much for making the big announcement tonight." CJ shyly smiled at her friend.

"I'm so happy for you!" Donna jumped up and hugged CJ, then returned to her seat. "I know you've been trying for a year. So, when? Does anyone else know?" Donna didn't bother asking about sex. She and CJ had had this discussion before today; both of them liked the idea of not knowing, of being surprised.

CJ gave her the details. "Nancy and Bonnie know, and Diana, but they're sworn to secrecy. We're having a small party on Monday when we'll tell the rest of the block. Danny was really looking forward to springing the news on everyone tonight," she gave Donna a pleading look.

"Well, it's safe with me, and I know it's safe with Paul. And before you ask, I won't say a word to Josh."

After they finished the antipasto, they ordered plates of radiatori primavera with white wine sauce ("Make sure all the alcohol is cooked away," CJ told the waiter), and nibbled on breadsticks while awaiting the pasta.

"So tell me about everything, the job, the kids, school, Josh."

"The job is amazing. Right now, Nancy has me working with David on the East European desk, but I'm also shadowing the Undersecretary for Foreign Aid, which is why she wanted me to be there during your testimony. I usually make it home from Foggy Bottom by 8:00PM. Sometimes Josh and the kids beat me home, sometimes I beat them home. I've got a webcam set up on my PC at work so I can look in on my babies at the White House day care. Next month, I'm going with Nancy to Prague.

"The triplets are all walking now and keeping up with them and Noah is all the workout I need. Joannie talks the most, but Micah has the best vocabulary – I'm sure he's channeling Danny. Noah takes his duties as big brother very seriously; he's trying to get them toilet-trained, would you believe?"

(CJ smiled slightly; Paddy had finally experienced that moment of realization when everything clicked last month. She remembered how excited he was when Danny called and put the little boy on the phone. "I poop in pot, Mama!" And when she got home that afternoon, the child met her at the door from the garage into the courtyard holding the pot in both hands. "I save to show you, Mama!" That night, Danny told her that he didn't know how to tell their son that Mama really didn't need to see it.)

"Anyway, they continue to develop their own personalities, to differentiate themselves. According to Mrs. Santos, the day care folks say that Leo is a real leader in the group. Not that he runs everything, Amy's assistant's little girl does that, but he's the one that the others turn to for resolving issues among themselves.

"As far as school goes, twenty-seven credits down, twenty-one more to go. That includes the thesis. I'm only doing one class this summer instead of two, but I should finish up by spring of '14, just in time for us to leave the White House." Donna was pursuing a Master's in Public Policy at Georgetown's Public Policy Institute. "I think I'm looking at two A's this term." (CJ remembered that for last year, last summer, and this fall, Donna had a 3.5 – four A's and four A minuses. CJ felt a bit of pride that Danny was doing better, grade wise, not that she had anything to do with it, she realized.)

"How is Josh dealing with all of this?" CJ knew that Josh was totally supportive, in theory, of Donna's endeavors, both in the classroom and in the workplace, but it was sometimes hard to reconcile Joshua Lyman, supportive husband with the Deputy Chief of Staff whose method of dealing with any issue, from his lunch order to a major bureaucratic snafu, was to shout, at the top of his voice, "Donn – naahh!"

"Better than I expected, especially after his mother died. That was really rough. Of course, I made sure that we had plenty of support, with two live-in _au pairs_ and a twice-weekly cleaning service. And the work-life improvements that Mrs. Santos is implementing are a great help. One of the girls drives with him to the White House with the kids and helps with getting them to the daycare before she goes off to school."

They finished their lunch and left the restaurant (Donna had finessed her for the check; apparently she and Josh had an account with the establishment), with Donna once again promising to not tell Josh about the baby and to act properly surprised when Danny made the announcement at the party that evening.

CJ returned to Rick and Ginger's, checked in with her hostess, and decided to nap for a while. She had just put her head on the pillow when the bedroom door opened and Danny entered.

"So I guess my plans for a nap are on hold," she smiled at her husband.

Danny sat down on the bed and kissed her, then pulled away.

"Your health and Minnow II's health are more important than my horniness; you want to nap, we'll nap. I'll put my husbandly rights to your body on ice." Danny got off the bed, removed his sweater, and began to unzip his khakis.

"Literally?" CJ asked, looking at the mini-refrigerator in their room (Ginger thought of everything) and then at Danny's groin.

"Note to Scott Winkler. Doctor, is it okay to spank my wife when she's pregnant?"

Forty-five minutes later, he woke up to her kisses on his eyes and her hands inside his boxers. She murmured against his face as her kisses trailed down to the bare skin of his neck.

"CJ's horny; CJ wants Danny."

"CJ wants Danny what?"

"CJ wants Danny hard."

"CJ wants Danny hard what?"

"CJ wants Danny hard inside her."

"CJ wants Danny hard inside her what?"

She finally remembered what Danny had been drilling into Paddy for the past month.

"CJ wants Danny hard inside her, please?"

Danny stripped off her panties, stripped off his boxers, and buried himself within her. For a second, he wondered how long he would have been able to hold off; then his thoughts shifted solely to what he was doing to her and what she was doing to him.

Afterward, as they lay in the bed in contented afterglow, she told him of her lunches.

"So, I figure it won't hurt to light a few candles for Paul; it amazes me that he's done without for over six years. When I remember what he was like after only four days - ".

What amazed Danny was that he could lie there, listening to CJ talk about another man's prowess in bed and not be upset, concerned, or anxious. Why was he so comfortable with Paul, who had been as close, sexually, with CJ then as he himself was with her now, while he still was so uncomfortable with Toby, who had never touched his wife intimately? Why, in spite of Aisling's and Sorcha's reassurances, was he still concerned about one Tobias Zachary Ziegler?

Speaking of Toby, Danny was glad that he hadn't told CJ that the Columbia instructor had flown down with him this afternoon. When the two of them entered the townhouse to find out that CJ was already resting, they conspired with Rick and Ginger to keep his last minute presence for the party a surprise.

"I don't know, love of my life; maybe you should leave well enough alone. If he says he's content -". Danny hoped that he wasn't being selfish, that he wasn't wanting Paul to remain unattached just in case Aisling and Sorcha were wrong. Danny still had these premonitions, every once in a blue moon, that he wouldn't be around to take care of CJ, Paddy, and the new life growing within his wife. And when he did have those feelings, Danny's concern was more about CJ marrying Toby than it was for his own non-participation in his family's future.

Then his optimism and his belief in what his niece and her great-great aunt told him reasserted itself, as it usually did, and his mind turned to happier thoughts. CJ's morning sickness was becoming more predictable and manageable; he was beginning to see signs of second trimester libido spikes. Scott said that she was in excellent health, in better shape than a lot of his late twenties, early thirties mothers-to-be. Paddy and toilet-training had finally come to a meeting of minds. At the end of this semester, he would be "All But Dissertation". He would be presenting the outline of said dissertation to his advisor and the committee right before Independence Day; if he were lucky, it would be all over except for the shouting (and the actual writing and defense) in July. The Vatican and his publishers were happy with the progress on the Pope's biography and were willing to let it take a back seat to the dissertation.

Light snoring interrupted his thoughts. CJ was napping again. He set his cell phone clock to give them enough time for a shower before the party, and fell asleep, one arm protectively on the child inside her.

_8:30 PM_

"Congratulations!"

"What wonderful news!"

"All. Right!"

Danny had just announced that he and CJ were expecting a second child in November; everyone was crowding around the two of them, offering their congratulations.

"I'm so happy for you, sweetheart. It's wonderful news, Danny." Paul kissed CJ lightly on her cheek, then moved toward Danny, his hand outstretched, as Josh swirled CJ away in a full circle.

Danny looked into the minister's eyes.

"You knew already, didn't you? She told you?"

"I guessed. She ordered something with neither alcohol nor caffeine to drink and she passed on the swordfish. And the glow; I'm used to spotting it."

"I'm so unbelievably happy for you, CJ." Toby Ziegler's quiet voice reached Danny's ears. He saw the bearded, balding man embrace CJ in a huge bear hug, swaying back and forth with her for a few seconds.

"It bothers you, doesn't it? Toby and CJ," Paul observed softly to Danny. "And it bothers you that it bothers you." He subtly nudged Danny away from the rest of the crowd.

"Yeah, it does. And I don't know why."

"Do you not trust your wife? You **do** know that she would never even think - ".

"I trust her implicitly," Danny interrupted the other man. "And I know as well as **you** do that she would never – Ain't it a bitch. Here I am all concerned about someone who's never touched her, and yet, you, who spent more time with her than anyone else except me, I have no problem with you. I keep hoping that Toby and Andy will remarry and every time I hear that there's no special someone in your life, I feel better about whatever may or may not happen to me in the future. That's terrible, isn't it? I shouldn't be having these feelings."

"Feelings **are**; they just exist. You can't control them. Acting on them, or letting them control your life, now that's a problem."

"Hey, Danny, get over here! You too, Paul." Josh was helping Rick pour champagne for everyone (with a glass of ginger ale for CJ).

"To the newest Bartlet baby!"

Danny and CJ stood arm in arm as the others raised their glasses to the expecting parents.

Slowly, the conversations turned to other topics.

Andy came up to tell CJ that she had heard only good things about her testimony in the morning.

Matt Skinner wanted to know the latest about Glen Walken and Ainsley Hayes. If someone could harness the energy produced by all the wagging Republican tongues, he laughed.

Will and Kate arrived late and blushed at the good-natured teasing. She had just arrived a late session at the UN and Will wanted to meet her at the airport. When the two of them were told the good news about CJ and Danny, another round of cheers and toasting ensued.

Sev, Rick and Ginger's thirteen year old, came into the party to say hello. He had been to a middle school dance and had just been dropped off by his girlfriend's father. Exhibiting his innate good manners and easy comfort with his parents' friends, he congratulated CJ and Danny, made some small talk with the others, then grabbed some hors d'oeuvres, a glass of soda, and retreated to his bedroom.

_Later that evening; Lyman residence_

Donna came into the master bedroom.

"Everyone's fine, sleeping the sleep of the innocent."

"Joannie's fever?"

"All gone, just like Elsbeth said. You know, she's really good with the kids."

Donna sat on the side of the bed, leaned over, took the papers from Josh's hands, and kissed her husband thoroughly.

"You spent a lot of time with Danny," she commented when they came up for air.

"We talked about a lot of things. When I told him that you and I were planning on a second honeymoon, that Ginger and Rick had volunteered to take the kids for two weeks in August, he offered us the use of their property in California. I was really grateful for his thoughtfulness. But I told him I would have to check with you first. Would you rather go someplace with maids and room service? It's totally your call, Donnatella."

"Well, if there are restaurants nearby, and if you either don't mind dust balls or don't mind doing the vacuuming, it might be nice. Let's think about it."

"Donna, Danny also told me that CJ is thinking about resigning the presidency of "Road to a Better World" when this baby is born. She's seriously considering being a stay at home mom at least until this new baby is ready for school. Danny's been told that if he gets his degree next spring, he's all but guaranteed an assistant professorship at USC and the Annenberg School a year from September. He'll have full benefits and everything. He says it's doable and if it's what CJ wants, he wants it for her."

"That's funny, she didn't mention anything about not working after the baby at lunch - ." Donna stopped, realizing what she had just revealed to Josh.

"She told you and you didn't tell me?"

"She didn't tell me; I guessed. And she swore me to secrecy. Besides, it was just for a few hours."

"Well, okay, I guess." Josh started playing with the hem of her sleep shirt, sliding his hand under it, slowly inching toward his goal at the top of her legs. He started humming "Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes" as he kissed her neck.

"What brought on **that** song?" Donna relaxed her thighs and snuggled down into the space under Josh's armpit.

"Just the unbelievableness of it all. Ten years ago, when we were running for reelection, if someone had told me that six years after the end of the Bartlet administration, CJ Cregg would be a soccer mom and Donnatella Moss would be a career professional in the State Department, I would have asked that person what they were smoking.

"I wonder at you, Donnatella Moss Lyman. You amaze me more and more each day, the way you grow into your job every day, the way you care for the kids and me. I love you more and more each day. You've changed so much, gotten so good at so much."

Donna reached up to kiss her husband. "It's not just me, it's all the West Wing female alumni. Look at Margaret; Leo would be so proud. And Ginger, turned into a gracious wife and mother who hasn't let her good fortune take her away from her friends. Bonnie and Nancy are doing so much more with "Road" than they did here. And, if she wanted it, Carol could easily be the next Mrs. Landingham."

"Alumnae."

"What?"

"The feminine plural of alumnus is alumnae. But I don't want to spend the next twenty minutes teaching you Latin." Josh lifted his upper body off the bed and proceeded to show Donna exactly how he did want to spend those twenty minutes. (Actually, he took closer to thirty-five.)

_About the same time; Hoynes residence_

"Yes, right there!"

John Hoynes pressed harder on Margaret's right shoulder blade. He was straddling her back, just below her waist, massaging away the tension that was keeping his wife from sleep. Her cell had rung at 9:50, in the middle of the party; a tornado had struck in western Kansas. There had been no loss of life, praise God, but there was quite a bit of damage and the governor wanted to make sure that FEMA would be there as soon as possible. Trying to deal with that bureaucracy on a Friday night via telephone had given Margaret an aching head, neck, and back. John thanked God that she hadn't needed to leave Rick and Ginger's in order to handle the situation.

"Will you have to go in tomorrow?" He bent down to kiss the place where her neck met her back.

"Just for a little bit, maybe ten to noon. I should be back in plenty of time for the picnic at Carol and David's. By the way, what were you and CJ talking about so earnestly?"

"Various things. Teething, for one. She told me about chilled teething rings. She also started to tell me about drops of whiskey on gums, then remembered we don't keep liquor in the house and spent ten minutes apologizing, just rambling on and on. She also told me that it may be possible to have too many onesies, but that she never figured out how many was too many. We also laughed about what we would have said ten years ago if someone told the then Vice-President and the then White House Press Secretary that one day they would be trading child care hints. She still can't believe that I'm taking care of the baby while you help Matt Santos run the free world."

As John Hoynes continued to work his magic on his wife's back, he reflected that he and CJ Cregg Concannon were finally finding a comfortable place in which to rest their relationship, to deal with their history. Paul Reeves had told him that God usually gives you the wherewithal to handle whatever life throws at you, if you stop, think, pray, and listen; and John had taken that wisdom to heart. After nine years, he was content with his life. He accepted responsibility for his mistakes, the ones that cost him the final years of his Vice-Presidency and a sure succession to Jed Bartlet, accepted the loss of the nomination to Matt Santos; he also didn't dwell on those mistakes but instead looked to a future, reveling in the second chance he had been given. He thanked God every day for Margaret and for Hoop, vowed to be a good husband and father to his son, a good stepfather to Bruno Gianelli's son, a good counselor to the President.

A soft snore disrupted his thoughts. He had hoped to make love with Margaret but his wife needed her rest. He willed his libido into quiescence, one more thing he could not have imagined himself doing ten years ago.

_About the same time; brownstone of Paul Reeves_

Paul closed his Bible and clasped his hands in prayer. He thanked God for the grace of another day, asked for His blessing for his children, his father-in-law, his brother and his brother's family, for all his friends. He prayed for world peace and for an increased awareness of concern for the environment.

As he moved from his chair to his bed, he picked up his wife's picture and, as usual, ran his fingers over her face.

"It's going to be rough tomorrow, Lissy. Every funeral reminds me of yours. Every wedding reminds me of ours. So many brides over the years, and none of them could hold a candle to you. I'll never stop loving you."

Then Paul lay down, shut off the bedside lamp, and fell asleep missing the woman he would only hold again when God called him to heaven.

_Saturday April 28; 3:30 AM_

"Here you go, darling."

Danny wiped CJ's face with the damp wash cloth and smoothed back the hair from her face.

"Let me help you."

Danny put his arms around CJ's waist and pulled her from the bathroom floor.

"Here's your toothbrush. Are you sure you're okay? You don't want to go to the emergency room?"

"Danny, it's just morning sickness! A little early, to be sure, but it **is** morning!"

He gave her one of his looks, like the one he gave Paddy when the little boy pulled up the gerbera daisies that had just been planted by the fountain in the center of the courtyard.

"Okay, I did overdo it. But you know how much I love Old Bay shrimp!"

"Just be careful tomorrow, or, rather, later today, at Carol and David's. For me and for Minnow II."

"Yes, sir."

CJ allowed him to help her back into bed.

"Maybe I should ask Paul to talk to you tomorrow. You listen to him." Danny pulled her back against his groin as they moved into their spooning postures.

"He won't be able to be there. He actually has four weddings and a funeral, starting at 9:30 in the morning and ending at 8:00 PM, then he'll put in an appearance at the last wedding's reception. Luckily, there's a visiting missionary taking all the Sunday services. Didn't he say good-bye?"

"No, actually, I got into that deep discussion with Josh and then when Paul came over to thank Josh for seeing that his father-in-law was invited to the thing that President Santos did for Paterno in March, I started talking with Margaret about the tornado, and then Matt Skinner, Eric, Toby and I got into a baseball argument."

"Danny, thank you so much for dragging Toby down here. And thank you for not letting me walk away from you five years ago."


	54. USS Fitzwallace

**USS Fitzwallace**

CJ/Danny, Ginger/OMC, some Josh/Donna, ensemble

Rating Adult - grown up sex; consensual kinkiness

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

- - - - - - - -

_Thursday, June 28, 2012, late afternoon; Fall River, MA;_

Danny scanned the freeway in front of him, looking for the signs that would direct him from Mass 24 South onto I-195 westbound. He would have to watch carefully, as he would be on the interstate for only a few feet before the exit for the continuation Mass 24 and the bridge to Rhode Island – the actual island, not the mainland part of the state.

Okay, there's the exit; he eased onto the ramp. According to Rick's directions, he should keep to the right, as he would be taking another exit ramp off to the right.

He saw the signs and soon he was heading south by southwest; he saw the sign welcoming him to Rhode Island and breathed a slight sigh of relief.

Although Danny preferred to do the driving in tricky situations, he had come, over the past five years, to depend on CJ's excellent navigational skills. However, his wife was lightly snoring in the seat beside him. CJ was at the four and a half month mark and she tired easily.

Danny looked to the right and smiled at the sight of his slumbering wife. She glowed, both from her southern California tan and from the pregnancy, not to mention the coral sundress she was wearing.

The rain, which had been little more than a mist since leaving Boston and Logan airport, turned a bit heavier, and he shifted the wipers from intermittent to slow.

The other West coast Bartlet bunch members were flying into the Providence airport, but he and CJ had decided that they would rather drive the extra forty-five minutes or so in order to avoid changing planes with a three year-old in tow. It would be interesting to compare notes with Bonnie and Jean-Luc to see how Giselle did switching planes. They had flown non-stop from LA to Indianapolis, spending some time with Bonnie's family (and would be visiting in Canada after this reunion), but they had to change planes in Cincinnati for the flight to Rhode Island. Of course, Sam, Morgan, and Gemma flew in on his state plane. The Faisons were spending the summer in New Hampshire and had driven across country.

Frank and Diana had offered to keep Paddy for them, but they explained that having the children around was always an enjoyable part of the reunions. Also, after the reunion in Newport, CJ, Bonnie, and Nancy would be traveling to McGill in Montreal for a four day symposium for "Road to a Better World". Danny and Paddy would spend the time with the Bartlets on their farm and Paddy was excited about being around the cows, chickens, and pigs.

As if on cue, Paddy stirred in the back seat, then drifted back into sleep. When picking up the car, they decided to put the boy's car seat behind Danny, making it easier for CJ to check on him. They hadn't taken into account her penchant for nodding off at a moment's notice.

The rain let up again just as CJ woke up from her nap.

"How long did I sleep? Where are we?"

Danny told her they were about five miles from Rick's family estate north and east of Newport proper.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help with the driving."

"It wasn't too bad. I managed to make it through Fall River. But I could use a nap myself after we get there."

"At least that's what we'll tell Ginger." CJ trailed her fingers up Danny's right thigh and over toward his groin.

Danny smiled. Second trimester libido was a wonderful thing in a pregnant woman. Thank God, he was able to keep up with her.

Ten minutes later, they were pulling up to the huge mansion. It was not as over the top as the "cottages" on Bellevue Avenue owned by the various Whitney and Vanderbilt families, but it was definitely an imposing edifice.

The gatekeeper who had let them onto the property had apparently called ahead to let Rick and Ginger know that another houseguest had arrived; the two of them were standing on the front porch, along with their eldest son and one of Larry's boys. Rick motioned to Danny to pull around the side of the house to the covered portico.

There was an elevator, so getting everything up to the third floor was no problem. Rick explained that his mother had converted part of the second floor into more modern living quarters – a kitchen, a small dining room, a couple of sitting rooms, that sort of thing – so they could keep the formal first floor rooms in period. It made for a more interesting tour when the house was open to visitors and also meant that the family could be in residence during the touring season. Of course, with the Bartlets and the Seaborns being here for the next five days, not to mention the President and Mrs. Santos on Saturday night, no tours were being conducted this weekend.

"Doesn't that cut rather deeply into revenues, given the holiday?" Danny asked.

"Not that much," Rick answered. "We still cover the taxes and the costs of the tours, which is all my grandfather wanted when he decided to do whatever he needed to do to keep the property in the family."

"Since you're giving us this gorgeous room," CJ looked around, "I take it we didn't win, or is it lose, the kids lottery?"

"That would be Josh and Donna for the toddlers, Toby for the older boys. It was sweet of your niece to volunteer to be in with the older girls," Ginger answered.

Rather than enroll immediately at St. Andrew's, Aisling had decided to do a "gap year" and would be spending the fall and spring semesters at Allegheny College in northwestern Pennsylvania. She had come over to be in the bridal party of the exchange student from Concord who stayed with the MacDonalds four years ago; she had come down with the Bartlets. After this weekend, Aisling would go down to Delaware to visit with Mike, the young lifeguard/Notre Dame swimmer with whom she still kept in contact, then spend some time with CJ and Danny in Santa Monica. She would take a few days to visit with Siobhan and Liam on Mackinac before heading off to Meadville.

("If we don't trust her now, we'll never trust her," Robin told Danny when he questioned the wisdom of allowing Aisling to visit Mike at Rehoboth. "Plus, he's already asked her up to South Bend in early October for a football weekend." Danny made a note of the weekend and decided that he would try to convince CJ that the two of them should plan to travel to Indiana for that game. And when Danny wondered why Aisling couldn't do her gap year at Loyola Marymount and live with the Concannons, Erin just laughed. "Danny, if that baby you and CJ are awaiting is a little girl, you're going to have her in a convent, aren't you?")

"I know you must be tired after flying all day, so I'll just take Paddy down stairs to be with the other kids. The _au pairs_ are named Taylor, Amber, and Danica. Dinner is in two hours."

After telling Paddy to listen to the grownups, Danny relinquished his son to their hostess and closed the bedroom door. He heard the sound of a shower coming from the bathroom and walked toward it, dropping clothes along the way.

"Look, Danny, there's a bench in here. Do you think we could - ", she left the sentence unfinished.

He stepped into the enclosure, came up behind her, and kissed her neck.

"We'll never know unless we try."

_A few hours later_

"And so, southern New England can expect one more day of this dreariness, but then we have nothing but sunshine through the Independence Day holiday for our Yankee friends."

Some groans came from the assembled crowd as the bubbly blonde Weather Channel meteorologist finished her spiel and handed off to the man who would talk about the Middle Atlantic States.

"Hey, the important thing is that we'll have marvelous weather for the christening on Saturday in New London, the big to-do on Saturday night, and the clambake on Sunday." Carol always wanted to look on the bright side of things.

With the formal rooms at their disposal, Rick and Ginger decided to hold a fancy dinner and dance on Saturday after the ceremonies in New London. The men were told to bring tuxedoes, the women ball gowns. For few hours, they would relive the golden era of Newport.

"But what about tomorrow?" Josh asked, trying to hide the whine in his voice.

Ginger started counting on her fingers. "We have the heated indoor pool, the spa, although we women will be taking over that for massages, facials, and other girlie stuff, the movie theatre, you can watch God knows how many sports channels on three different big screens."

"The library, the bowling lanes, the squash court, we can set up a tennis court in the stables, and, of course, the billiards room," Rick finished.

"Is there a TV in the billiards room?" Larry asked.

"There can be."

"Will Mrs. Fitzwallace be here Saturday?" Larry's wife asked. "I always liked her."

Ginger told the group that she had extended the invitation to Mrs. Fitzwallace six weeks ago, but that the woman had graciously tendered her regrets. She would be leaving New London right after the christening activities. Fitz' widow had met a lawyer in Norfolk and was keeping company with him; they would announce their intention to wed in a few weeks. She would never forget her first husband, but she knew that her Percy would not want her to languish in solitude.

"Well, I guess I'm happy for her," CJ said.

Danny looked over at his wife. He could see the wheels turning in her head, see the twinge of frustration. Danny was sure that CJ hadn't given up on her hopes to find a new female companion for Paul. The news about Mrs. Fitzwallace meant that not only had the woman been open to the possibility of another man in her life but also that one possible option for the widowed minister was now no longer available.

"CJ," Danny said quietly.

"Danny, I wasn't!"

"H'kay."

CJ looked at Danny, her half smile conveying her renewed promise not to meddle.

Danny knew that she meant it; he also knew that in a few months, she would probably be at it again.

Donna was the only one who caught the exchange. She smiled to herself. No one else, maybe not even CJ herself, realized how skillfully and unobtrusively Danny Concannon managed the former White House Chief of Staff. Almost as surreptiously as she herself managed Josh, Donna thought.

_Friday June 29, 2012; about 9:30 AM EDT_

CJ woke to the smell of rain in the air. She snuggled back against Danny's body. Rainy days could be nice, especially when someone else was dealing with your three-year old son, when you had passed the stage of pregnancy where morning sickness was an issue for you, and when you had a husband who was ready, willing, and eager to deal with your heightened libido.

They had awakened about 7:30. Danny took one look at her face, smiled, said, "Give me two minutes", and returned from the bathroom demonstrating that he was prepared to handle her needs.

However, he spent the next half hour driving her senseless before joining with her and taking the two of them to shattering fulfillment.

No wonder she had slept for over an hour; no wonder Danny was still sleeping. CJ suppressed a giggle. She wondered how many other couples were still abed. Did Josh and Donna turn over the preschoolers to the _au pairs_ and lock the door?

CJ giggled again and the slight leak between her legs made her realize that she needed to use the bathroom. She carefully eased her body away from Danny's gently lifting the arm that was draped over her expanding middle, protecting, even in sleep, the child that grew within her.

While she was in the bathroom, she brushed her teeth and took her vitamins. Glancing at herself in the mirror, she blushed. There was an honest to God hickey forming on her neck; unless she wore a turtleneck (and she didn't have any with her), everyone would know. Oh well, it's not as if they didn't have their suspicions, she reasoned.

When CJ returned to the bed, she carefully lay down facing Danny. Thank you, God, for giving me this wonderful man, she prayed.

She felt the need throbbing again between her legs, but knew she would have to sublimate, at least for a while. Suppressing a sigh, she lightly traced Danny's eyebrows with two fingers, then ran them down his profile to his chest. Now with flattened hand, she continued her caress down his chest to his navel and then, lifting her palm so that it was maybe a tenth of an inch in the air, gently hovered over his resting genitalia. Softly, slowly, she lowered her fingers to touch the silkiness.

Danny opened his eyes.

"I thought you'd never ask."

His mouth crushed down on hers as he pressed her against the bed.

_About 10:15 AM_

CJ and Danny walked into the second floor family room and looked around.

Toby was reading the _Times_. There was a cut-throat game of Risk ™ taking place between the Hoynes', Bonnie and Jean-Luc, Aisling, and Liz Bartlet (who had taken back her father's name following the divorce and annulment). Larry and his wife were watching one of the shopping channels, discussing whether the kitchen gadget being demonstrated would appeal to Larry's sister.

"There's coffee, juice, bagels, and bacon in the kitchen," Toby told them.

"Where is everyone?"

"Well, the Bartlets, Will and Kate, and the Youngs have not yet graced us with their presence. Sam and Morgan, Ellie and Vic, and Carol and David are watching Wimbledon coverage in the next room. Ed, Eva, Nancy, and Jesse found some ponchos and decided to walk the grounds."

"Josh and Donna?" Danny asked.

"Donna is downstairs in the library on the phone with Dr. McNally. Josh is with the kids in the playroom. Apparently, he's never seen 'The Chronicles of Narnia'. I told him he was missing a crucial part of his education," John Hoynes volunteered.

"And our host and hostess?" CJ wondered.

"Were down here for a while. Then they realized they had some important details to handle for tomorrow, details that could only be handled in their bedroom," Toby smiled.

_3:45 PM_

The ladies had all been treated to massages and facials and now were relaxing in the heated indoor pool and sauna, drinking mimosas (straight juice for CJ), gossiping, or reading trashy novels. Rick had taken the men to the billiards room; the children were with the _au pairs_ in the bowling alley.

Ginger came into the area with her laptop.

"You have got to see this; it's totally outrageous!"

She explained that last week, she had been doing some research for the latest cause that the family foundation was undertaking.

"I meant to google 'domestic violence', but I hit the enter key after 'domestic', and I saw this site." She keyed in "fondlyandfirmly(dot)com" and up popped a site entitled "The Gentlemanly Art of Spanking the Woman You Love".

"Can you believe it?"

"Ginger, lots of people use spanking as a form of foreplay!" Kate sounded amused.

"I know that!" Ginger replied (and blushed, CJ noted.) "This isn't about erotic spanking. This is something called 'domestic discipline', where the wife consensually submits to being physically corrected by her husband. See, he talks about therapeutic spanking, maintenance spanking, and punishment spanking. Then there's this one, by a woman!" She clicked on a link and up popped "Taken in Hand".

"Oh.My.God." This from CJ. "People actually do this?"

Donna read over her shoulder. "Yeah, they do. Not Josh, I mean, I'd kill him, but some folks – what about that time when you, Diana, and I were in the hot tub and Danny threatened?"

"That's just Danny's way of dealing with fear or worry," CJ said, confident in her knowledge of her man. "He would never actually follow through. Do you really think any of our guys would try something like that?" She looked around at the others in the room and got a chorus of "No ways".

"At least not twice!"

"Mom!"

"It was a joke, Liz! Seriously," the former First Lady continued, pointing at the laptop, "this is totally out of bounds. The erotic bedroom stuff, well, it might be kinky, but no harm, no foul."

The others laughed and nodded in agreement, not noticing that one of their number was not laughing as much as the rest of them.

_5:30 PM_

Danny had misplaced his cell phone. The last time he remembered having it, the men were in the billiards room on the first floor, taking turns playing and watching rugby on a satellite feed from Dublin. He headed down the stairs and toward the room that reeked of nineteenth century masculinity, with paneled walls, a huge fireplace, deep leather chairs, and the massive granite playing table.

He opened the door and stopped. Rick was there, his arms rigid with his palms resting on the felt covered surface. The New Jersey congressman's shoulders were shaking.

Earlier in the day, Rick had shown the men the room, adjusted the television set that had been placed there for their amusement, told them to ring if they needed the staff to bring food or drink, and then excused himself.

Danny spotted his phone on a side table but decided to leave the room and return later for the device. However, as he turned to leave, he bumped into a credenza.

When Rick looked up, Danny could see the slight redness around his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I've obviously disturbed you at a bad time, but is there anything I can do? Find Ginger for you?"

"No, please," the other man smiled. "Sit?" Rick pointed to one of the club chairs.

"This town, Newport, is where Penny and I met, where we fell in love. In fact, the carriage house is where we – the first time; we were nineteen. After we married, we spent a lot of time here, she preferred it to Cape May. She was a native New Englander.

"This pool table. When she was carrying the kids and got too big, well, we found an old featherbed, the table is really sturdy, and just the right height."

Danny nodded in understanding. Soon CJ would be past the point where they could make use of the "missionary" position and while he didn't mind her being on top or in front of him in the rear-entry position, there was something primal about looking down into her eyes, with her arms and legs around him. Their dining room table at home probably wasn't sturdy enough, but his desk - .

"Anyway, I come here for Thanksgiving, Mom likes it, but other than that, I tend to think of Cape May as where Ginger and I are together when we aren't in Washington or in Morristown. When the announcement about Fitz' ship came out and Mom suggested we transfer the party here, Ginger at first demurred, knowing how I felt, but it made so much sense. I figured I could deal with it, that there would be so much going on and so many people, but this damned rain - ."

For the past two months, Danny had been experiencing a return of the feeling that he might not be on earth for much longer. He felt as if he were approaching the crucial point, the crossroads where his destiny could go in one of two directions.

As part of his musings, Danny wondered about CJ. Would she, if left a widow, marry Paul as Danny hoped? If she did marry the minister who had been so important in her college days, would she still think of Danny? What was it like to lose a spouse, to love that first person, and then to find love and happiness with a second? Does love for one diminish love for the other?

"No, it doesn't."

Danny didn't realize that he had spoken aloud and started to apologize to Rick.

"No need," the other man replied. Then he explained that he missed Penny every day, took joy in seeing her face reflected in those of Bryce and Chantelle. Sev had her ears, but the rest of his oldest son was a mirror image of himself. And yet, he reveled in Ginger's love, in seeing her red hair on Celia and Matty; he lost himself in Ginger's caring, her goodness, and couldn't imagine life without her.

"Somehow, you manage to love them both, together and differently.

"But enough about me. How did the first lesson with Paddy go?"

"Not bad. But thanks for the tip about changing into shorts and taking off my shoes. And he **did** ask about size, although he's seen me naked before."

Right before lunch, when the little kids finished watching the movie and came into the big family room to join the other adults, Paddy walked up to Danny, held onto his father's leg, and buried his face against Danny's thigh.

Seeing the slight tear stains, Danny took his son into a little nook behind a set of bookcases, knelt down so the two of them were at eye level, and asked him what was wrong.

"Noah was mean to me; he called me a baby."

"You're not a baby. Hoop is still a baby, but you're going to be a big brother, remember. You sleep in your own room now and you have bunk beds like Mike and Steve. Why does Noah think you're still a baby?"

"He said I pee like a baby, or a girl; that big boys pee standing up. I want to pee like you do!"

Paddy may have finally "grokked" toilet training a little later than usual, but apparently he wanted to catch up fast. Danny looked at his son, already closer to four feet than three and figured that he was tall enough that something to stand on wouldn't be necessary. However, according to the books, it would help to have a target, so he approached Rick, who looked in the kitchen and did find some Cheerios in the back of one of the cabinets. Rick advised him that it might take some time; that once Paddy got home and away from Noah Lyman's more advanced progress and teasing, he could lose interest in the process until he encountered more peer pressure.

_Saturday June 30, 2012_

The morning dawned clear and cloudless. After breakfast, the reunion crowd left the children in the care of the _au pairs, _boarded the bus that Ginger had chartered, and, accompanied by Secret Service and California state agents, traveled the sixty some miles to New London, where the USS Fitzwallace would be christened and based.

Following the christening, there was a luncheon and some time for sightseeing. Then everyone headed back to Newport for the evening's festivities. The President and Mrs. Santos, several cabinet members (including Nancy McNally), and some other senior staff (including Annabeth and Ronna) would be joining them, spending the night and part of the next day before returning to Washington late Sunday night.

Once they returned to Newport, the parents spent some time with their children (who were more interested in the pool party, wienie roast, skating party, and movie that had been planned for them), the new guests were settled into their rooms, and everyone rested until time to prepare for the formal dinner at 8:30 and the dancing that would follow.

_7:00 PM_

They woke from their nap about an hour earlier.

The man had kissed the ear of the woman, who shifted her upper leg, letting the man know that his attentions were more than welcome. He had made sure she was ready to receive him then gently moved into her.

Afterward, they had showered together and now were sitting on the sofa in their room, wrapped in terrycloth robes, catching the end of the evening news.

"How about some wine?" she asked.

"Thanks, angel." As she got up to fetch the chardonnay, he playfully patted her fanny.

She stopped immediately and sighed.

He knew the signal; he took her hand and gently lowered her across his knees. Pushing up the robe, he began to drop soft little slaps on her derriere, each one little more than just letting gravity take control of his hand, and ending each one with a caress of her posterior.

His other hand kept her from falling, but was not restraining her; she was always free to push away.

She had told him about the discussion in the pool room a day earlier. She wondered what the others would think of her, think of him, if they knew. He also wondered what judgment CJ or Donna might make if either of them ever found out.

"Which is why they won't," he said to himself. It had taken her so long to find the courage to tell him that she found his absent-minded swats incredibly erotic, to be able to ask for more. She told him that it sent vibrations through her body, from back to front; he discovered that if he could manage to reach under her with his other hand and use his fingers, he could drive her crazy.

After the first few times, they went to talk with their pastor, for reassurance, half afraid of what he might say. But the man of God just talked with them, first together, then separately, then together again. The pastor made sure that it was consensual. When the cleric talked with her, he probed gently, wanting to know if there had been any abuse in her childhood or youth. When the pastor talked with him, he talked at length about the thin line between being dominant and domineering, making sure that he was doing it for her and not for any sense of machismo, stressing that for this form of love play, she had to be in total control.

So he told her that he would never initiate it and that he would stop on a dime whenever she asked or if she pulled away.

She moved her pelvis against his groin and he responded. She swallowed a scream and shuddered.

He helped her to her feet, then carried her to the bed.

They would need another shower before dinner.

_About 10:00 PM _

It was the perfect ending to a wonderful day.

"I feel like I'm in a movie!" CJ exclaimed as Danny danced her out of the formal ballroom and onto the terrace. There were Japanese lanterns strung on the terrace, out on the lawn, even in the gazebos that dotted the grassy expanse.

"That old black magic has me in its spell

That old black magic that you weave so well"

Danny sang along to the big band sounds emanating from the ballroom, and swung her to the edge of the terrace, down the steps, and continued dancing to the nearest gazebo. Sitting on one of the benches, Danny pulled CJ into his lap and began to thoroughly kiss her, his left hand holding the back of her head while his right hand played with the folds of the white Grecian-style cotton gown that Hank had designed for her blooming body. Then he slipped that hand under fabric at her left shoulder to cup her breast.

"Danny! What if someone comes by! Move your hand!"

"H'kay."

The hand left her breast to slide down to her feet, then under the hem, back up the bare leg and under the hem of her panties.

"Dan-EEE! What are you doing?"

"Just reenacting what probably happened many times over the years in this enchanting place. I'm having a wonderful time and I don't want you and your super-charged libido dragging me upstairs too early. Now, open wider," he commanded.

CJ obeyed Danny's orders and a few minutes later, collapsed against his chest while he stroked her hair, helping her to regain her composure.

"God, Danny, I'm going to soak through my undies and then my dress!"

"I am nothing if not prepared, my love." Danny reached into his inside breast pocket, pulled out a folded handkerchief, slipped his hand once more under CJ's gown and panties, and proceeded to wipe away the results of his efforts. Then he bunched up the handkerchief and tossed it under the bench.

"You aren't going to take that with you?"

"Honey, it's not monogrammed or anything, no one will know it's mine. If I put it back in my pocket and later dance with someone else, your scent will - ", he left the sentence unfinished.

"But what if I want you to, I mean, later?" He could see her impish smile in the moonlight.

"I have three more handkerchiefs. And I can always pick up some napkins."

Then it was his turn to have an impish grin.

"I think I'll plan on doing this two, three times a day, just to keep you in check. You were telling me about those 'maintenance spankings' on that domestic discipline site, the one you and the others were freaking out over? I think I'd rather give you maintenance hand jo - " She stopped his worlds with her mouth.

After a minute, Danny broke away and asked her if they could return to the dance floor for a couple of hours.

"Well, maybe ninety minutes," CJ grinned, as he gently nudged her off his lap, took hold of her hand, and led her back toward the ballroom.

Two hours later, Danny turned away from the table that held champagne, cheese, fruit, and _petit fours_. He watched CJ dancing with Toby. She was wearing the iolites he had given her when she was carrying the twins. The white of her gown and the iciness of her silver and blue-violet jewelry set off the glow of her tan. She was wearing silver strappy sandals on her otherwise bare feet. The draping folds of her gown were thick enough to hide the fact that she wasn't wearing a slip; Hank had sewn in a strapless bra, so her only other garment was her panties.

Toby and Andy were fighting again, so Toby was here by himself. Andy and the twins were in West Virginia on a rafting trip (class I only, Toby insisted). Suddenly, Danny decided he didn't want CJ dancing with Toby, and started to walk toward the couple.

Before he got there, Glen Walken and Ainsley Hayes danced up to CJ and Toby; partners were exchanged.

Danny looked around. Aisling was dancing with President Santos; Mrs. Santos was with Rick. Sam was dancing with Donna; Josh with Morgan. President Bartlet was with Liz, Ginger with her older stepson. Everyone else appeared to be with their spouses.

"Hey, sailor, new in town? Got a nickel, want to dance?"

Abbey Bartlet came up behind him, playfully goosing his ass.

Danny bowed from his waist, held out his hand, and led the former First Lady onto the dance floor.

Two music selections later, Danny was dancing again with CJ; three songs after that, he was leading her to the terrace and the gazebo.

_Sunday July 1, 2012; late afternoon_

The meteorologists were correct; the weather stayed beautiful. Everyone was down by the shore, eating snacks while trying to save room for the clams, lobsters, chicken, corn, and potatoes that were cooking under the tarp weighed down by stones and surrounded by boards to keep the children from running over the pit.

"Here you go, Uncle Danny." Aisling handed her uncle a beer and sat down beside him on the blanket.

He turned to thank her and took in the bottle of water in her hand. "They're out of cokes and stuff?"

"No, there's plenty. I just didn't want any of it."

Danny knew that were they in Europe, in Ireland (or even behind the walls of the Concannon house in Santa Monica), Aisling would be drinking beer, wine, or the MacDonald whiskey; but apparently she was respecting the laws of Rhode Island and not putting her hosts in jeopardy. It was, Danny had to admit, another sign of the maturity that Erin and Robin saw in her. However, Danny still intended to talk with her about "not making any mistakes in Rehoboth" before she left with Carol and David the day after tomorrow.

"Make it bigger, Mama!"

Danny looked up and saw that CJ and Ginger were building a sand castle with help from Paddy, Celia, and Noah Lyman. Apparently, Paddy had proven his "big boy" status to the other boy and they were friends again. CJ was wearing one of those two piece suits with a loose-fitting top that tied around her hips. Once again, Danny mused that pregnancy made a woman seem so appealing, at least to the man responsible for said pregnancy.

This morning, when they went to Mass with the Bartlets and the Santos', he thought she was showing a little more than she had been the day before. When she was pregnant with the twins, she at times had emotional issues as she increased; with Paddy, she did some good-natured complaining but was in good spirits. How much of that was experience and how much was because Diana and Donna were pregnant at the same time, he didn't know. Hopefully, by now she knew that he would find her only more and more beautiful as the baby grew within her.

"Hey, watch it!" Ginger shouted, as Kate almost trampled one side of the castle. The UN Ambassador was in the back row of her side's volleyball team, and she was backing up to answer a rather potent volley from Charlie.

There was a sharp intake of breath from his younger niece. Danny looked over, saw the faraway look in Aisling's eyes, and knew that she was seeing something behind the veil of the present. He followed the direction of her stare, saw Jed Bartlet sitting with President Santos, Sam, Donna, and John Hoynes, who was cradling his son over his left shoulder. Danny knew what she was seeing, and felt the need to let her know that he saw it also.

"I should dig out my phone. That picture would be worth a lot of money some day. A former president, the current president, and two future presidents enjoying beer, salsa, and chips."

Aisling just smiled. She knew that there weren't two future presidents in the group; there were three.

_Thursday, July 5; near Brockton, MA about 10:30 AM_

"Not that I mind, understand, but tell me again why you're here driving to Manchester with me instead of in the plane with CJ, Bonnie, and Nancy?"

"I don't know how it happened," Jesse Muñoz laughed. "President Bartlet is a very persuasive man. And he is definitely in league with Mr. Estevez. What do you want to bet that when we get to the Bartlet farm, I'll be given a room with a twin bed and that when the girls return from Canada on Monday, she'll be sharing Annie Westin's room?"

"I'm not about to throw away good money," Danny responded.

Two hours earlier, a helicopter took CJ, Bonnie, and Nancy to Theodore F. Green airport just south of Providence and the Hollis Foundation jet that would take them to Montreal.

Jean-Luc and Giselle drove up to Canada while Danny, Jesse, and Paddy followed the Bartlet contingent to the farm.

The Lymans, Carol and David, and most of the other West Wing staff returned to Washington on Monday, but John and Margaret, Will and Kate, the Bartlets, the Youngs, and the Faisons stayed in Newport with Rick and Ginger for the holiday.

_Saturday, July 7, 2012; __Awasiwi Odanack Farm, NH_

"Puppies!"

"Paddy, no!"

Abbey Bartlet hurried up to stop the child from grabbing one of the lab/golden mix puppies from the box.

"These puppies are brand new babies and we need to be careful with them. Also, their mama is very protective and she might get mad if you just pick up one of them; she doesn't know you."

The former First Lady knelt down and caressed the head of the vigilant and nervous dog who was nursing her brood and giving Paddy a somewhat menacing look. The whelping box was in the utility room off the kitchen. It was far enough out of the way that the new mother would not feel that her litter was threatened, it was warm, with the heat radiating from the hot water tank (and the space heater Abbey put in the room), and there was easy access to water for any clean ups.

"It's okay, Bella. No one's gonna hurt your babies," she crooned. "Is it okay if we look at them, if I check up on them?"

Abbey yawned. She had been up most of the night, watching over Bella as she delivered her pups. It had been a while since Abbey had delivered a human child, but since her husband's last day in office, she had become quite the veterinarian with the pets and the pigs. (She left the cows and the horses to the professionals, but did assist the large animal vet who took are of their animals.)

Abbey picked up the seven little puppies, still with eyes and ears closed, one at a time. She made sure that the umbilical cord stumps were healing.

"Do you want to touch this one, Paddy?" She held the squirming little thing cupped in both her hands and lifted her arms toward the little boy.

"Can I have one?"

"First of all, it's **may** I have one?" Danny corrected his son. "Second, May I have one what?"

"May I have one, plee-eas-see?"

"Sweetie, right now they need to stay with their mama," Abbey told Paddy.

"Why?"

"Because she has to feed them and teach them how to be puppies, son," Danny said. "By the time they are ready to leave her, we'll be back home."

Paddy had started asking about a dog two months ago. Danny and CJ decided that they would wait until his fourth birthday, next year. That was how old Danny was when his family gave him Pistol. They felt it was important that the dog be introduced after the baby was born, to reinforce its place in the family pecking order. By next June, the baby would be six months old and things might just be a little less hectic. Hopefully, Danny will have finished work on the Pope's biography and would have been awarded his PhD; he would be able to spend the summer training the dog.

Just then, the Faisons and Zoey arrived from their supermarket errand. The three of them were eating ice cream sandwiches.

Ellie handed one to Paddy and her son.

"Outside!" Abbey told Paddy and her youngest grandchild, averting (for the moment) the puppy crisis.

For the next few minutes, Ellie and Zoey put away the groceries.

"Mom, come upstairs with us. Zoey found a couple of things and she's not sure she wants to keep them."

"For a bit. Then I think I need a nap."

After the women left the kitchen, Vic opened the refrigerator, grabbed a couple of beers, and handed one to Danny. They sat outside on the deck, talking about the baseball season.

A few minutes later, Charlie came out and joined them.

"Too many women in my bedroom," Charlie laughed. "I told Zoey to keep everything, but she said she had spent too much. It's good to see her laughing again."

Danny and Vic looked at Charlie, questions in their eyes.

"Last month, she miscarried. We hadn't told anyone she was pregnant, it was barely a month. Of course, once it happened, we told her folks. The doctors want us to wait a few months before trying again.

"All I could do was hold her, tell her that I loved her, and hold in my own tears," Charlie continued. "Then she started wondering about maybe having waited too long, that she should have been ready when I asked the first time, right before the '06 convention."

Danny and CJ had thought that Charlie and Zoey seemed a little less vibrant when everyone was in Newport; now Danny knew why.

Danny and Vic commiserated with Charlie. Vic told Charlie that he shouldn't try to "suck it up", that he needed to let out his own feelings, to share them with his wife.

"Charlie, we were trying for almost a year before we made this baby," Danny told the young lawyer. "We were so incredibly lucky with the twins, at least getting them conceived, and then with Paddy. It's a fine line between being sensitive to her feelings and keeping her from going into the deep end."

Then Danny asked him about his work at Harvard.

"It's perfect," Charlie replied. "I don't have to go through the eighty hour hell that new associates at a private law firm do. Zoey and I can have a real life together. Don't get me wrong, there's lots of work to do, but it's not overwhelming. Some of my G-town classmates have failed marriages, and one guy had a breakdown. We have a nice little townhouse; most of the down payment came from her trust fund, which was a little unnerving, but she's accepted the fact that I'm covering the mortgage and most of the daily expenses, so I guess it will all wash out in the end."

"Is she still working with the Boston Vistors' Bureau?"

"Yeah. With her Spanish, Italian, and French, she's serving a real need. They'd like her to learn Portuguese as well."

"Hey, guys." Jesse came up the steps and sat down with the others. "I could sure use one of those." He looked at the beer the other men were holding.

"Oh?" Vic asked as Danny got up to fetch more bottles from the kitchen.

"Are you guys sure that your father-in-law and Mr. Estevez aren't twins who were separated at birth?"

"Just wait until you two finally do decide to take the plunge," Charlie laughed. "I mean, the man gave me a frigging carving set that had been made by Paul Revere and I **still** got roasted! I can't imagine what you had to go through," Charlie looked at Vic, "having knocked up the middle daughter."

"He tried, but I held my ground," the biologist replied.

Danny came back, handed beers to Jesse, Vic, and Charlie, then sat down with his glass of iced tea.

Seeing the other men's looks, he explained that after the Concannons returned to Santa Monica, he had a physical scheduled and wanted to pass with flying colors. With the new baby, he wanted to get another 20 year term policy, to increase his coverage by another $500,000.

"Jesse," Charlie said, "with all due respect, you and Nancy have been a couple for two years now, right? I can understand why Nancy's father might be wondering. Hell, I'm wondering myself."

"It's more her than me, Charlie. She worries about who will take care of her parents when they can't manage for themselves. I keep telling her that if and when that day comes, that she and her brothers should do what everyone else does, work out whatever's best for all concerned. But this idea of a daughter's duty to her parents is a hard one to fight. I know that my great-uncle Fernando had a hissy fit when my aunt Rosario married; he wondered who would take care of his brother and sister-in-law. But _Abuelo_ told Tio Fernando that if his daughter found a man to love, he wanted her to be happy.

"Granted, I see Nancy and me together, but I'm not going to force her with an ultimatum. She's one quarter Irish and - "

"We Micks can be pretty bull-headed," Danny laughed. "Just remember, if you wait much longer, all her bridesmaids will be pulling forty rather than pushing it."

"I wondered where you all had gotten to." The four men stood as President Bartlet came through the kitchen door. "Everything ready for your camping trip on tomorrow?"

"Yes sir," Vic responded as all five of them took their seats. Vic looked at Danny with a glint in his eyes. "You sure you don't want to join us?"

"No, I think I'll stay here with my wife, the other womenfolk, and the president. But I thank you for taking my son with you."

Jesse sighed.

"See, now, if you had made an honest woman out of that girl, you could have a nice reunion, too."

"If I can talk her into it when the plane lands, you're licensed to perform here, aren't you?"

"There's a three-day waiting period in New Hampshire," the former president replied.

CJ and Nancy would be flying back from Canada on Monday morning. They would stay overnight with the Bartlets and then a Hollis Foundation jet would take the Concannons, Nancy, and Jesse to Santa Monica late Tuesday afternoon. Bonnie, Jean-Luc, and Giselle were spending more time in Canada with Jean-Luc's family. A second jet would be taking the Hollis' and Glen Walken to Capetown for another meeting.

When Danny, Paddy, and Jesse arrived at the farm on Thursday, Abbey asked Danny if he wanted Paddy in with him or to share a room with Ellie and Vic's son, who was two years older than Paddy. She had an extra rollaway, so either way would work. (Jesse had been shown to the first floor den. It contained love seat that folded out to a "twin plus" bed. When Jesse looked at Danny, the former reporter said "I never accepted that bet.")

"Can I stay with you, Daddy?"

Paddy wanted to be a big boy, but after spending almost a whole week with the other boys in the big room at Miss Ginger's, he really missed his Mama and his Daddy. And now Mama was up in Canada. Growing up was not always all it was cracked up to be.

"**May** I -"

Paddy didn't always remember, but he was a quick thinker.

"May I stay with you, Daddy, please?" he finished his father's sentence.

"Okay, but you have to sleep in the bed that Grandma Abbey will give you, and when Mama comes back on Monday, you need to sleep with Eddie."

Monday was a long way away. Paddy was happy.

Over the next three days, Paddy got to feed chickens, tried to learn how to milk a cow (not too successfully), sit on a pony, play with the new litter of pigs, and ride on a horse (sitting in front of his daddy.) He also got to swim in a stream and giggled as the little minnows moved up against his feet. He went on walks in the woods with Grandpa Jed to pick blackberries and helped Grandma Abbey make a pie with the fruit.

"Daddy, can we have a farm?"

Danny explained that taking care of a farm was a lot of work. Mama had a very important job helping lots of people all over the world and didn't have any time to do what Grandma Abbey did. And Daddy was studying hard to be a professor and was writing books.

"I like country!"

"Well, after we go home for a little bit, we'll be going up to Albion. That's like the country, isn't it?"

Paddy forgot about the house in the woods. He could chase after squirrels. Maybe there was even a stream with fishies for swimming.

"Yay!"

_Monday July 9, 2012; Manchester NH Regional Airport_

"Mama!"

Paddy ran up as CJ and Nancy left the customs area.

"I miss you! I go camp tonight. I held piggie!"

CJ knelt down to hug her son and smiled at her husband as he took the bags from the flight steward.

Danny helped CJ to her feet and kissed her as Paddy continued to pull on her hand and to tell her all about his adventures.

Meanwhile, Jesse was greeting Nancy in a similar manner and taking charge of her luggage.

Nancy pulled away from Jesse as she listened to his words.

"You're going **camping** tonight?"

"Well, the Bartlets have you in with Liz upstairs and they have me in the den on the first floor right next to their suite - ".

"CJ!" Nancy called out to get the attention of her traveling companion. "Dibs on the bedroom on the plane tomorrow when we go back to California!"


	55. A Fork in the Universe

**A Fork in the Universe**

CJ/Danny

Rating Adult – Married sex

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

_- - - - - - _

_9:15 PM PDT, August 11, 2012; Santa Monica CA_

Danny Concannon quietly opened the door to his son's bedroom. As he expected, Paddy was sleeping, so Danny carefully slipped the transformer from the boy's hands, pulled up the sheet over his son, planted a light kiss on his hair, so much like his mother's, turned off the lamp, and left the room.

Forty-five minutes earlier, Paddy had protested when Danny told him it was time for bed.

"Stay up for Mama!"

Danny told Paddy that he had to get into his pj's and into bed.

"Go potty!"

Rick was right; a few days after they returned to California, Paddy lost interest in standing up to urinate. Danny guessed it was a combination of not having any Cheerios at which to aim, and the fact that his closest friend, little Maggie, didn't stand up to go to the bathroom. Maybe when he began to play more with the slightly older boys in the neighborhood – .

After the trip to the bathroom, a final drink of water, and a story, Danny told Paddy he could play with a toy if he wasn't sleepy. He could try to stay up until his Mama came home, but he had to stay in his room and in his bed.

The Hollis Foundation plane bringing back CJ and Nancy from the marathon one-day meeting in San Luis Obispo was scheduled to land at the Santa Monica municipal airport at 10:10. Jesse Muñoz had volunteered to take CJ and Nancy to the airport that morning and to pick up the women that evening. It would keep Danny from having to get a babysitter or from having to take Paddy with him to the airport in the wee hours of dawn or after the boy's bedtime.

It had been a very busy month since they had returned from New Hampshire. A week ago, he underwent the final tests as part of the exam required by his insurance company. Two weeks ago, he had finished his dissertation and submitted it to his advisor. The professor would take two or three weeks to review the work and then let him know if it was ready to be presented to the doctoral committee for defense. Aisling had flown in from Salisbury and DC a few days after they returned from New Hampshire. She alternated between doing things with the other young adults on the block and relaxing by the pool and in the courtyard. Right now, his niece was with Ken, Laura, and Jill Robbins in Palm Springs, where Jill was competing in a woman's golf Pro-Am, but would be back late Sunday evening. On Monday, CJ, Danny, Paddy and Aisling but would drive up to Albion; they planned to stay there through Labor Day. Carol and David would be joining them for a few days at the end of the month.

"Whew!" Danny caught a whiff of himself. He and Frank had spent the afternoon helping Li Wei. The men laid a brick patio in the back yard and it was dirty, sweaty work. Danny decided he should clean up before CJ returned. She had gone to bed early last night with a bad headache and had to fly out very early this morning in order to be at the foundation headquarters by 8:00 AM. Danny didn't know if she would have any energy tonight, but if she did, then he did. Danny headed for the shower.

Ten minutes later, a cleaner and better smelling Danny walked out of the bathroom and opened a dresser drawer, looking for a pair of cotton pajama pants. It was a very sultry evening and he wanted to be comfortable. Then he had second thoughts. CJ might ask Nancy and Jesse to come in for a few minutes; he better put on more clothes. Danny found a pair of cotton boxers and then pulled out a pair of shorts and a tee shirt.

Sitting on the easy chair, he pulled on the boxers and then yawned widely. Laying the patio was also tiring work, he thought, and yawned again.

_10:30 PM_

"Danny?" CJ called as she opened the door and stepped into the house.

"That's funny," she said to Jesse, who had escorted her to the door. "Usually, when I'm out at night, he's waiting for me in the living room or the den, or at least the courtyard."

"Well, let's make sure he's okay before I return to Uncle Frank's." Jesse had dropped off Nancy at the Muñoz place before taking CJ to her house.

The two of them checked the kitchen and the family room, then walked to the bedroom wing. When CJ caught sight of her husband dozing in the easy chair, she tiptoed out of the room, and followed Jesse to the front door, which she locked after the young dentist left.

CJ walked back to the bedrooms. She checked on her son, replacing the sheet he had kicked off in his sleep, slipped into the master bedroom, and used the bathroom.

The flushing of the commode must have awakened Danny, because he was stirring as she reentered the room.

"I'm sorry, I meant to be up for you," Danny said as CJ bent over and kissed him. He returned her kiss.

"I was surprised that you didn't open the door when we drove up," she said as she walked toward the dresser, reaching for her earrings. She turned around to smile at him, and then turned back again to place the hoops in her jewelry box.

The moonlight was coming in full through the bedroom windows, catching in her hair. She was wearing a summer maternity suit, with short sleeves and a double-breasted jacket in a silvery lilac tone that shimmered in the moonbeams. Danny suddenly found himself very awake and very aroused.

"Claudia Jean."

CJ turned around at the raspy voice. Danny very rarely used her full name, and never with such obvious desire in his voice. In fact, except for their wedding vows, the few times he did use it, he was definitely not very happy with her.

Danny's voice became even raspier. "Undress for me, Jeannie."

CJ's eyes locked on Danny's. She unbuttoned her jacket and removed it. She unzipped her skirt, let it slip to her knees, and stepped out of it. Next she removed the silver chain from her neck, and then her watch. She reached behind her to put them on the dresser. Next came her shoes, with the low square heels, and her pantyhose. She reached under her slip for her panties. Putting her hands behind her, she unfastened her bra, and slipped the straps from her arms. Finally, she reached for the hem of her half-slip and pulled it over her head.

Now her entire body was silvered by the moon. Danny held out his hand to her and she walked to the chair.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered as he pulled her onto his lap.

"You're sweet to flatter me," she said lightly, her hand on her non-existent waist and bulging tummy.

"You're carrying our child; nothing could be more entrancing."

The chair was oversized; there was more than enough room for her to kneel on either side of his thighs. His arms and hands provided a brace for her shoulders as he buried his face in the valley of her breast.

She began to whimper and move against him. Danny lifted his feet to the edge of the heavy mission-style coffee table that sat in front of the chair. CJ leaned back against her husband's knees. Danny's thumb found its way through the nest of curls where her legs met; he circled the throbbing core, first in one direction, then in the other. Finally, Danny slipped two fingers inside her. Carefully watching her face, he slowly moved them up along the wall until her twitching told him he had found the right spot. The fingertips played against it as his thumb lightly moved up and down right across that little nub of her that, had she been born male (and thank God she wasn't) would right now be as long, thick, and hard as he was.

Danny seriously thought about lifting her in the air, to free himself from his boxers, to allow her to position her legs over the arms of the chair, and to take her where they now sat. But he knew that his need for her was such that he could not risk injury to her and to the child should he lose control and not be able to keep her balanced on his upper legs.

Danny steadied her as he lowered his legs and as she stood. When they reached the bed, he stripped, lay back, and helped her to impale herself on him.

Twenty minutes later, they were lying on their sides, caressing and calming each other.

She told him that the South American consortium of business leaders were very anxious to start a "Road to a Better World" project on their continent. CJ had already told Frank Hollis and the foundation's board that she wanted to slow down after the baby was born. Although she had total confidence in Nancy, Bonnie, and Glen being able to handle the ongoing projects in Africa, CJ felt that the three of them would not be able to handle a second start up without at least one other participant. Two would be better.

Frank and Sarita said that they had been in discussions with Lewis Berryhill. The former Secretary of State was not finding his teaching position at UVA as rewarding as he thought he would.

"So, one down and one to go," CJ laughed. "By the way, Frank made some private noises about maybe I might consider joining the board, especially if I want to do the 'not work outside the house mom' thing. I told him that the drop dead issue is health insurance for us and the kids. If you get a teaching position with decent benefits, then I have more options."

Danny told CJ what he had already told her several times. If she wanted to stop working and stay home with Paddy and the new baby, he had a standing offer from the _LA Times_.

CJ told Danny what she had already told him several times. His goal was to teach at the university level. He was so close; she could hold on until next year.

"But what if my dissertation isn't approved?"

"And what if the Pope gets married? Same odds," she joked.

_August 14, 2012; Albion, CA_

Danny woke to the sound of birds chirping. There was a slight chill in the air as a light wind came in through the open window.

Danny carefully sat up in the bed and looked over at his sleeping wife. His child was moving inside her; not enough to disturb CJ's sleep but enough to be seen through the stretched skin.

"You aren't even here yet, little one, and I love you so much," Danny whispered to the unseen baby. "I want only the best for you, for your brother, for your mother."

Time passed as he continued to sit there, continued to watch CJ as she slept next to him.

Five years. Five years of having her wear his ring, bear his name. Five years of having her in his bed and in his heart. Five years of loving her, caring for her, protecting her, encouraging her, restraining her. Five years of seeing her achieve, marveling in her vision, being proud of her accomplishments, of her honors. Five years of joy in Paddy and the new baby. Five years of dealing with the loss of the twins, of dealing with the bureaucracy to transfer her father from the auspices of the Ohio nursing home to California, only to have him die before the final red tape was cut. Five years of growing, of loving, of fighting, of making up. Five years of getting good at new things.

"I hope we have many, many more years together, my darling, but for these five years I am so grateful," he whispered.

Then he turned his thoughts to Someone Else. "I leave it in Your hands. I keep thinking that I am coming up on some crucial point in my life, in my universe. I love my wife; I love the life we are making together. But if You have other plans for me, I accept them. Only please, I beg of you, make sure that CJ, Paddy, and the new little one are cared for."

"Penny for your thoughts."

CJ smiled up at him.

"You."

Danny lowered his mouth to hers.

Later that day, he set up the pool and uncovered the hot tub. No, he told his son, they couldn't go swimming just yet. But the solar blankets would concentrate the rays of the sun and maybe in two days, the water would be warm enough. Yes, maybe tomorrow they could try to find a stream with fishies in it. They might not be able to swim, but they could at least go wading.

That evening, it rained a bit, so he built a fire in the living room fireplace and they cooked hotdogs on sticks for supper, followed by marshmallows for S'mores.

After he carried a sleeping Paddy into the smaller bedroom, he built up the fire. Aisling excused herself to the upstairs bedroom, the one they had enclosed last year.

Trusting to his niece's understanding and discretion, they quietly made love, lying on their sides; the blanket over them barely moved with their motion.

For the next few days, they relaxed in the woods. In the nearby state park, Danny did find a small stream where he and Paddy could wade in the water and let the little fish play with their feet. Danny took his son canoeing; he took his niece kayaking. All four of them went fishing and caught enough for two meals.

The sun did warm the water in the pool; CJ and Aisling tended to leave the hiking in the woods, the canoeing, and the fishing to the "menfolk". They bought paperback romances at the used book store in Mendocino and spent their late mornings and afternoons in the sun, slathered with sunscreen, floating on rafts in the pool and reading.

They ate supper at the little coast restaurants every third night and renewed their friendships with the permanent residents as well as with the "summer folk".

Danny was having a wonderful time with his family. He spent the mornings making love with his wife and working on projects around the house. The afternoons were spent with his son. They took endless walks in the woods, with Danny pointing out the different birds and little animals in the forest. He taught Paddy about the different trees and wildflowers and how to find the north by looking for the mossy side of a tree. Danny told Paddy that if he ever got lost, he should follow a stream in the direction that the water was flowing. Danny's heart swelled when, after one such afternoon, a glowing Paddy told his mother "Mama, Daddy knows **everything**!" Starry evenings were spent holding CJ as they talked of their plans for their expanding family, of the changes that his degree might bring to their lifestyle.

_August 19, 2012_

Danny and Paddy looked up as the car turned into the drive.

"Mama's back!" Paddy ran up to the car as CJ exited from the driver's side and grabbed hold of CJ's legs. "Popsicle!"

"Popsicle, what?" Danny asked as he moved to the trunk, ready to help Aisling with the grocery bags.

"After lunch, Paddy," CJ told her son as she bent down to kiss the top of his head.

The four of them went into the house. Danny and Aisling put away the groceries while CJ made tuna salad sandwiches and tomato soup for them.

"Honey, Dr. Caldicott called while you were gone," Danny told his wife.

"And?"

"He had a few minor corrections; he's emailing them to me. He'd like me to defend on the 27th." Danny tried to hide his grin, but failed miserably.

"That's wonderful!" CJ stood up to hug her husband. "But why so soon?"

"Susan Griese will be unavailable after that date until early December and he can't find anyone else with her qualifications to fill in for her; Dr. Caldicott said that if I successfully defend, I was all but certain to be offered a part-time teaching job for the Spring semester even though the PhD wouldn't be conferred until the end of that semester.

"I'd feel a whole lot better knowing it was over and done, but I hate to cut short our time up here."

"It's just one day, isn't it? Could you fly down from Santa Rosa on Sunday and come back here Monday night or Tuesday morning?"

"You know I don't want you and Aisling alone here, CJ."

"But Carol and David will be here, remember?"

He remembered and was glad. He didn't want to take CJ, Paddy, and Aisling away from their wooded retreat earlier than necessary but he would be glad to get the dissertation defense over and done. Also, they had planned to have Aisling fly to visit Siobhan and Liam from San Francisco International on the 30th. After making sure that she was safely on her way, the Concannons would spend Labor Day weekend driving down the coast from San Francisco to Santa Monica.

_August 22, 2012_

Danny woke up to the sound of the kitchen door clicking in its latch. He looked at the bedside clock. 4:38 AM.

Slipping into the pajama bottoms that CJ had removed some five hours ago, he went to check on the noise.

Aisling was sitting on the back deck. As Danny came outside, she turned to face him.

"I'm fine, Uncle Danny. This is the time when I feel close to God's creation. But come, sit with me." She held out her hand.

Aisling wished she could say something to assuage the uncertainty she could sense in her uncle. She knew what she had seen, she knew what Aunt Sorcha had seen; there should be no problem. However, she also knew that just as God had given humanity free will, He had also given them, at times, the power to affect their lives. Sometimes, wishing did indeed make it so. In a few cases, obsessing on tragedy did indeed make it so. We Celts can bring about self-fulfilling prophecy for ourselves, her great-aunt had told her. At times, Aisling feared that her uncle was doing that, and Aisling didn't know what, if anything, she could do about it.

When the sky had lightened to a pale violet, they went inside. Danny made a pot of coffee, the real stuff, and not the decaffeinated that he drank for CJ's sake.

He asked her again about her time in Rehoboth, again expressed concern not only about Mike but about the boys she might meet at Allegheny this school year.

Aisling sighed and once again explained that he had nothing to worry about.

"I'm saving myself for the right guy for me, Uncle Danny. It's not Mike, although he is a good friend and I have a good time when I'm with him. And he's not any of the boys in Meadville. He's safe back in –" She stopped herself, not quite sure she wanted to reveal how much she knew.

But Danny was not to be deterred.

"Back in Ireland? You have a beau?" (She smiled at the old-fashioned word.) "Your mother didn't say anything about that."

"No, not in Ireland, in Scotland. Uncle Danny," her eyes got really serious, "this has to be just between you and me. I've seen him (and Danny knew what she meant by "see"). He doesn't know yet, just thinks of me as a distant relative. But two years from now, he'll be besotted by me," her eyes began to dance.

"I'll keep your secret, honey. But who? Do I know him?"

"You do, but I won't tell you just yet."

"Ash, I keep feeling as if I'm at a turning point. If something happens to me, I'd like to know that you will be happy."

She sighed again. "Uncle Danny, if anything were to happen to you, I would see to it that you knew."

"Daddy!"

Paddy ran into the kitchen, effectively ending the discussion between the two redheads.

_August 24, 2012_

"You found it!"

CJ ran up to the car holding Carol, David, and Clarissa. Carol had called CJ when the three of them had picked up their rental at SFO and told her that they were about start for Albion. "Send out a search party if we aren't there by dark."

"It wasn't that bad, just ten minutes more than the Mapquest ™ estimate," David said as he released his daughter from her car seat. "This place is spectacular! Your pictures don't do it justice."

Danny hugged Carol and shook the other man's hand.

"Welcome to our little corner of paradise."

_Late afternoon August 27, 2012; Albion, CA_

"Daddy!" Paddy scrambled to the edge of the pool. "Mama, Daddy's back! Take out!"

"Let me do that, Paddy." David swam over to the edge of the pool and easily lifted the little boy over the edge of the four foot deep above ground pool that occupied one quarter of the deck that surrounded the house on three sides.

"Sweetie, don't get Daddy all wet! He's still in his good suit!"

"Well, the pants anyway." Danny had ditched his coat and tie as soon as he left the USC campus. He didn't have time to change before catching his plane to Santa Rosa. "It's okay, Paddy, it's just water," he said as he reached down to pick up the little boy for a big hug. Then Danny walked over to the pool and helped CJ climb up, over, and down the side.

She leaned over to kiss his mouth and grabbed a towel.

"So?"

"I think I did okay. Dr. Caldicott thought so, too. Time will tell. Right now, I'm going to get into my suit, grab a beer, and get into that wonderful-looking water."

_September 1, 2012; Carmel, CA_

"Big fishies!"

Danny looked in the direction in which Paddy was pointing off the pier.

"Those are whales, Paddy. Actually, they aren't fish, they are animals like dogs and horses."

"But they're in the water!"

Danny tried to explain, in simple terms, that whales didn't lay eggs the way fish did; that the babies grew inside their mothers "just like you did and just like your little brother or sister is". Sometimes, Danny thought, it might be better to leave well enough alone, to not always tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. He decided to leave out the part about mothers nursing their newborns.

Aisling had safely arrived on Mackinac Island and after a night in Palo Alto with Vic and Ellie, the Concannons had started their trip down the California coast.

Danny reminisced about the first slow trip down the coast with CJ, when she was carrying the twins. In one sense, they had been such neophytes, married less than a year, together as a couple for a little more than a year, so much in love with each other. Four years later, they were settled into married life, but even more in love. CJ, Paddy, and the baby were worth more than all the Pulitzers, all the honors. I am so truly blessed, Danny thought.

"Mama!"

Danny looked up to see CJ walking toward them. She had gone off to find a restroom and was now returning, carrying what appeared to be hotdogs, fries, and sodas. He reached over to kiss her as she reached them, took the food from her.

After they finished their meal, Paddy curled up in Danny's lap. CJ lay her head on his shoulder.

An elderly couple, maybe in their early '70s, walked by, hand in hand.

"Someday, that'll be us," CJ said.

Danny silently prayed that she was right.

_September 4, 2012; Santa Monica, CA_

It was an easy drive down the coast; they arrived home by midafternoon.

Carmen Muñoz offered to take Paddy to the park to help him work off some of his pent up energy. CJ prepared two glasses of lemonade and they sat on the family room couch, sorting through the mail that Hank and Steve had brought in every day.

CJ pressed the "play" button on the answering machine. Several hang ups. Someone from St. Monica's, reminding them of the parish picnic (already past). The screeching noise that indicated someone had miskeyed a number on a fax machine.

"This is Dr. George's office calling for Daniel Concannon. Please call us as soon as possible. Dr. George needs to talk with you."

Danny keyed in the callback number. The receptionist checked the doctor's schedule and asked Danny if tomorrow morning at 9:30 would be convenient. Yes, it would be.

CJ and Danny tried to maintain an even composure for the rest of the afternoon and evening. At night in their bed, they slept fitfully in each other's arms, abandoning their standard spooning position.

The office assistant escorted the Concannons into the doctor's private office and told them that the doctor would be with them shortly. They sat on the couch and clasped hands.

This was it. Danny knew that he had come to the crucial point of his life. There was a fork in the universe; either he would have a long and happy life with CJ or their life together would fall apart.

Danny was surprisingly calm. Five and a half years ago, he and CJ had grasped hands and taken a leap of faith together. They had indeed learned many new things, became good at many new things, had made new friends and had strengthened ties with old ones. They had become closer with their families and had created four beautiful little lives with their love. Whatever the next few minutes might bring, he would continue to hold her hand as long as possible.

Author's note:

At this point, "Holding Hands on the Way Down" and "Fold in Gently" will diverge, with the next chapter of "Holding Hands" referring to a minor abnormality in one of Danny's tests, something that can be easily treated and managed.

Some things that happen in one story will not occur in the other (aside from the obvious one that in one story, Danny continues to live and in the other, he dies.) Some things may happen differently in one story than they do in the other. I had seriously thought about ending "Holding Hands" at this point and continuing the rest of CJ and Danny's life together in a sequel entitled "Getting Good at New Things", but in the end, I decided that "Holding Hands" should continue until CJ and Danny reach the bottom of that leap.


	56. Resolution

**Resolution**

CJ/Danny, some Josh/Donna, some Nancy/Jesse

A lot of loose ends are tied up as CJ and Danny go forward with the rest of their life.

Rating Adult –

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed 

Note: Technically, a non-Catholic cannot be a "godparent". According to official canon law, he or she is called a "Christian witness" and the child being baptized has only one godparent. However, many priests and parishes don't get that anal and I'm sure that Fr. Luke and Fr. Niko at the St. Monica's of my universe would have no problem with using the term for any baptized Christian. If this bothers anyone, excommunicate me.

_September 22, 2012; Albion, CA_

"Josh, I'm going to call CJ, to let her know we're here."

Donnatella Moss Lyman called to her husband, who was turning on the hot tub on the deck of the Concannon's northern California "getaway".

"Okay. Tell her that her directions were excellent."

Donna found CJ's phone on her menu. Thirty seconds later, she heard the voice of her friend.

"So? Are you there? Is everything okay, everything working the way it should?"

"CJ, everything seems to be great and fine, so far. We got here about twenty minutes ago. Josh said to tell you that your directions were excellent, which they were. Of course, my navigational skills helped, and once he realized he should pay attention to me and not what his male ego tells him, we had no problem."

"What was the problem?" CJ asked Donna, wondering what she might have miscommunicated to the Lymans.

"He had issues with your instructions about taking 380 and 280 through San Francisco and across the bridge. He decided to stay on 101. We had a nice little tour of San Francisco trying to get to the Golden Gate."

"Well, now he knows. Maybe I should have had Danny send the annotated directions. Josh might have accepted them better from a guy," CJ laughed. "But everything else is fine?"

"Well, apparently Josh has the same problem with keypad locks as he does with hotel keycards. He doesn't punch at the right tempo. He also didn't like the number combination, thinks it's hard to remember."

"Did you tell him that it's the popular vote split for the President's second election? President Bartlet, I mean."

"CJ, until you told me, I didn't recognize it myself. I'll let him know.

"Anyway, we're here, the power is on, the hot water heater is heating up, Josh is turning on the hot tub, and we're going to unpack and take a nap before deciding on supper."

"Well, like I said, Café Beaujolais is my favorite, that's where I would go on Thursday if I were you, but then, any of the ones on the list I gave you should be fine."

Donna's parents had flown into Washington from Wisconsin on Thursday. They would be taking care of their grandchildren (with the help of an _au pair _) while Josh and Donna celebrated four years of marriage with a week to themselves on the Mendocino coast.

"Listen, Donna, you and Josh have a wonderful time. If you need anything, be sure to call. I need to run; I have to get things ready for our party tonight."

"CJ, do you have time to give me a few more details about Paul's teaching? Carol wasn't sure exactly what is going on."

"I'm not sure that anyone understands it. Paul emailed two weeks ago that someone with the Bioethics Institute at Loyola Marymount had an illness in the family and was taking an unplanned leave of absence for the academic year. Paul was available to take over her course load, so he found someone from to fill in for him in DC, then they found someone to take that guy's place. Paul thinks that there may be seven degrees of shifting before all is said and done.

"So, he's out here until May, he's a resident minister in the all-guy freshman dorm, and really seems excited about the opportunity. Knowing him, he's already made lots of friends on campus, but we're having a party to reintroduce him to the block, so he can have some socialization outside of a Catholic academic environment."

"Well, tell him I said hello. Josh! Stop it!"

"I don't want to know. Enjoy your second honeymoon; call if you need anything."

Josh pulled the phone from Donna's hand.

"Hi, CJ. Bye, CJ."

Josh turned to Donna, grabbed her hand, and pulled her toward the bedroom.

"Happy honeymoon, Mrs. Lyman."

"That's Ms. Moss-Lyman."

"Oh? Really?" He slipped his hands under the elastic waistband of her slacks.

"Do you want a happy honeymoon?"

"Yes, I do, Ms. Moss-Lyman, ma'am."

_September 23, 12:30 AM; Santa Monica, CA_

"Dammit!"

Danny Concannon stubbed his toe against the coffee table in the master bedroom. Hopefully, his outcry wasn't loud enough to wake his sleeping, pregnant wife.

The lump on the bed stirred, turned over, and sat up.

"Honey?" CJ yawned. "What time is it?"

"It's a bit after midnight." Danny sat on the bed and kissed CJ's forehead. "I bumped my toe. I'm sorry I woke you; go back to sleep."

"The mess." CJ pushed aside the sheet, tried to move toward the edge of the bed.

"Go back to sleep; you need it." Danny gently but insistently blocked her legs, pushed her toward the pillows, and pulled the sheet to her breast.

"But it will be easier now than in the morning."

"CJ, it's been taken care of. Jessica, Hannah and Joel, and Clara helped. The last load of stuff is in the dishwasher and there are a few things soaking in the sink. The trash has been taken out. Oh, Paul stayed to help, too. He vacuumed the floors."

"We have good friends," CJ sighed as Danny stripped to his underwear and positioned himself behind her, his arm protectively over the child inside her.

"Yes, we do," Danny nuzzled his mouth against her neck.

"Is Paddy okay?"

"Dead to the world, holding onto that toy dog for dear life."

"Did you take your pills?"

"Yes, dear," Danny sighed.

"Cause I need you unbroken," CJ mumbled.

When Danny underwent the testing panel required by his insurance company, the doctors discovered that, for some reason, he was leaching calcium and some other trace minerals. Had the condition not been discovered, in five years, Danny's skeleton would be in the brittle state seen only in post-menopausal women in the early twentieth century.

When a review of his dietary habits showed that he was eating the right foods, the experts did some more tests and found that he was no longer able to assimilate the minerals in their natural state in food. Luckily, the situation was easily remedied by giving him the material in different compounds. The pills had no side effects.

Several of the men told him he was lucky; if he didn't get any benefit from them, he didn't need to bother with eating all his vegetables. However, Danny decided he needed to be a good role model for his son. Besides, Danny liked vegetables.

"Paul stayed to help?"

"Yes, he did. He stayed a little later than the others did. We had a good talk."

Danny surreptiously shifted his groin away from CJ's backside. He experienced the stirring of arousal and knew that if she felt it, she would insist on "taking care of him". Make no mistake, Danny would really enjoy "being taken care of" right now, but CJ was tired and pregnant. From what Paul had implied, he hadn't touched a woman for over six years; Danny could surely manage for a day or two.

"I'm glad that you and he are friends, Danny."

"Me, too, sweetheart. And I was wondering, what about - "

_November 19, 2012; UCLA Medical Center_

"One more time, CJ," Scott Winkler entreated his patient.

"Aa-a-a-a-ag-gg-gh!"

"Congratulations, you have a daughter!"

Danny and CJ stared at the little bundle that the ob-gyn set on CJ's stomach.

"Well, Danny, she's obviously your daughter!" Scott exclaimed. "Just look at that hair, at those eyes!"

"Oh, Danny, a little girl! Just look at her!" CJ was laughing and crying at the same time. "What a wonderful birthday present!"

For a few seconds, Danny couldn't speak. The tears bubbling up in his eyes affected his larynx. Then they began to flow and he found his voice.

"Jeannie, how can I ever thank -"

Then some of the monitors began to beep.

"Dr. Winkler."

Scott reacted to the monitoring nurse and began barking orders. Someone took the baby from CJ's stomach; another attendant put an oxygen mask over the mouth and nose of the suddenly unconscious woman; a third person injected something into the IV in CJ's arm.

The monitors calmed down; the normal "beep. . blip . . beep .. blip" pattern resumed.

"Scott! What's going on?" Danny was shouting, terrified.

"She'll be okay." The doctor pulled off his mask as the attending staff started to wheel CJ from the delivery room.

Then Scott sighed.

"Last week, we discovered that there was a possibility of a blood antigen reaction, depending on how much bleeding CJ had. We were prepared for it; we had the necessary serum ready. CJ will need a few more shots. I'll probably keep her here for four or five days. You two didn't have any big plans for Thanksgiving, did you?"

"What do you mean, you discovered this **last week**?" Danny spoke with cold fury. "Why the fuck did you keep this from me?"

"Danny, it was CJ's decision."

"But I'm her **husband**!" Danny's fear was releasing itself as anger. He was shouting.

"And she is my **patient**; my first obligation is to her," Scott responded quietly by firmly. "I told her you needed to know, if only to avoid the panic I saw in your face a few minutes ago. But she insisted."

Scott did not tell Danny what CJ had told him in confidence, that for some time she had sensed in Danny some internal crisis that the red-headed reporter couldn't (or wouldn't) share with her. No, she insisted, somewhat huffily, she wasn't making it a "tit for tat" issue; she just felt that her husband couldn't handle the tension. If there was any danger of her dying, her reaction would be different. As a doctor, Scott had to comply with her wishes.

"But she'll be okay? Everything will be fine?"

"She'll be fine, Danny, except -"

"What?" Scott could see the panic start again in Danny's eyes.

"At her age, it's probably a moot point, but it would be best if you and she didn't try for anymore kids."

"I'll get a vasectomy tomorrow."

"Slow down! You've got a few weeks, you know," Scott Winkler laughed.

"Yeah, I guess." Danny started to feel normal again. "Speaking of time, when can I blister her ass for keeping this from me?"

The nurses started at the last sentence.

"He's joking, ladies," the doctor reassured them. He had had plenty of experience with husbands in Danny's position. To a man, they hid their embarrassment at reacting to their wives' danger buy reverting to attitudes more associated with the nineteenth century than the twenty-first.

"Mr. Concannon?"

Danny started at the sound of his name, and turned to see the nurse holding a little bundle of pink blanket.

"Would you like to hold your daughter before we take her for more tests?"

He stared at the infant in his arms. There would be no bad jokes about this child's father, he thought, looking at the spitting image of his own baby pictures.

For some reason, she seemed to shrink away from him; there seemed to be apprehension, even fear, in her eyes. Danny pressed her to his chest and kissed her head. Then he moved her away so that he could see her face. His face broke out in a wide smile.

"Hi there, Caitlin Delores Concannon. I'm your father. Welcome to the world, my precious little girl. Do you have any idea how much we've wanted you, how long we've waited for you? Your mama just gave me a terrible scare. You need to promise me that you won't ever do that. But even if you do, even if I yell at you, never forget that I love you and that there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you."

Then, her eyes seemed to clear and her body seemed to relax. She lifted her little arms, as if to hug him.

The nurse tapped his shoulder.

"I need to take her now, sir."

"May I go be with CJ?" Danny asked Scott.

"Sure. She'll be in a private room. She'll sleep longer than she did with Paddy; the blood serum works better when the patient is calm."

Danny stopped to tell Ken and Laura, who had come with him to the hospital, of the birth of his daughter. They would spread the word to the neighbors. He called Erin, CJ's brothers Mitch and Randy, Aisling in Pennsylvania, and Donna. No, he didn't have a picture yet.

Then he called the Muñoz household to tell Paddy that he had a little sister and that Daddy was going to stay with Mama for a while. Mama was really tired and was sleeping, so, no, Paddy couldn't talk with her just yet. Paddy was to be a good boy and listen to Uncle Frank and Aunt Diana. Mama and Daddy loved him and maybe tomorrow he could come to the hospital to see Mama and little Caitlin.

And for the next eight hours, Danny sat by CJ's side, holding her hand as she slept.

_November 22, 2012 (Thanksgiving Day); mid-morning; UCLA Medical Center_

"CJ, just promise me you won't keep anything like that from me again."

Danny had finally felt secure enough in CJ's well-being to confront her about the antigen issue; they had had an "intense" discussion (being careful not to let their voices disturb either the baby in the bassinet or the little boy napping on one of the two stuffed chairs in the room).

"Okay, Danny. By the way, why have three nurses on three separate occasions whispered things like 'I heard about the delivery; these people can help' and slipped me cards from the Domestic Violence Hotline?"

Danny blushed and told her about asking Scott when she would be well enough to be spanked.

CJ thought back to the week at Newport and what Donna said. "Danny, you really need to be more circumspect. **I** know you would never try anything like that, but someday, someone is gonna call the cops on us!"

"May I come in?"

CJ and Danny looked up to see Paul standing at the door, holding a little gift bag and small arrangement of gerbera daisies. (The same flowers he had for me that night in Berkeley so long ago, CJ thought.)

"Of course." Danny stood up to greet the minister.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get here before. It's been a rough couple of days at the hall."

Two of the young freshmen living in the dormitory where Paul was resident minister had gone on a drinking binge the night that Caitlin was born, gone to the coast, and fallen off the rocks into the surf. Their bodies washed ashore the next morning. Paul and the other advisors had spent the time since then dealing with grieving parents, frightened dorm mates and classmates, even an agitated administration.

CJ and Danny expressed their sympathies with Danny stating the obvious wish that Caitlin and Paddy could stay babies forever.

CJ changed the subject.

"Why aren't you at Joel and Hannah's? Where are the kids? And why are you in full regalia?" CJ took in the black shirt with clerical collar, the black trousers, and the black and grey tweed sports coat complete with St. Andrew's cross lapel pin. "I'm kicking Danny and Paddy out of here by 12:30 so they can go eat and have fun."

"I'll be going after I leave here. Derrick stayed in Seattle, he has to work tomorrow, and Deborah is with my father-in-law at Princeton. I figured that if I dressed as a minister, I'd have a better chance of getting in outside of normal visiting hours," Paul laughed. "Now let me see your little girl."

Danny picked up his daughter and handed her to the other man.

"Sweetheart, she is so lovely! Danny, I know you are already thoroughly enthralled with this little heartbreaker.

"This is for her. I'm sure that between all your relatives, she'll have Celtic crosses, Brigid crosses, Maltese crosses, Jerusalem crosses, Iona crosses, even a Mogen David from Toby; I doubt anyone else would give her one of these."

CJ had opened the bag to find a little chain with a replica of the cross on Paul's lapel, the logo of the Disciples of Christ.

"Thank you. Come 'ere, you." CJ held out her arm and kissed Paul's cheek when he bent over the bed. "Actually, you don't know how _apropos _this gift from you hopefully is."

"You busy on January 13th?" Danny said, before Paul could ask what CJ meant. "It's the feast of the Baptism of Christ, in the Church."

"We have a liturgical year, also, remember?"

"We'll be baptizing her that morning, at Mass," CJ continued. "We know that you all don't practice infant baptism, but -"

"I'd love to come."

"We'd like you to do more than just be there," Danny said. "Would you do us the honor of being our daughter's godfather?"

"Really? They would allow me?"

"Although both godparents have to be sacramentally baptized, only one has to be a practicing Catholic," CJ explained, "so unless Aisling becomes a heretic before then -"

"Ash a heretic, never," Danny said. "She'd never go part way. Apostasy, maybe, but she wouldn't stop at heresy. For her, it's either Catholicism or Celtic mysticism. So?"

"The honor is mine." Paul's smile glowed in his eyes.

The soft sound of snoring startled the two men.

"She does that a lot, drop off in a heartbeat; she's still a bit weak," Danny explained. "By the way, you are right. Caitlin has such a hold on my heart already. I mean, Paddy is so special," Danny glanced at the little image of CJ still slumbering on the chair, "and I can't imagine being able to love him any more than I do now, but a little girl - "

"I know, Danny. I had both experiences at once. Any child is a joy, but when God gives a man both a son and a daughter, that man is truly blessed.

"You take pride in seeing your son become a man, to carry on your name, your maleness, your connection with your own father and grandfather; you take pride as he takes his place in the world and lives the values you taught him; you take pride in his respect for you, for his mother.

"You take joy in seeing your daughter grow; you subconsciously try to mold her into your ideal woman, a woman who will bring goodness to humanity; you take joy in her happiness, even when it means that you are no longer the only man in her life.

"Of course, you take joy in your son and pride in your daughter; it's not a binary state. But I am so glad to have been given both, and I know you are also."

Paddy stirred. "I'm hungry, Daddy."

"Okay, we'll go."

Paul watched as Danny kissed his daughter and his wife. The three of them left the room, with Danny stopping at the nurse's station to let them know that Caitlin was alone with a sleeping CJ.

_December 15, 2012; Santa Monica, CA; home of Li and Yan Wei _

"Congratulations, Danny!"

Jessica came up to Danny and kissed him on the cheek.

In early October, Danny had received word that his defense of his dissertation had been successful. He would receive his PhD next May with high honors. Three days ago, Danny had been offered a tenure-track assistant professorship beginning with the 2013-2014 academic year, and an offer to teach a class next semester.

Naturally, the block wanted to celebrate, but with a new baby in the house, no one expected CJ and Danny to hold the party themselves. Li and Yan volunteered to host the Saturday morning brunch.

"Where's CJ?"

Hank and Steve came in, Steve carrying seventeen month-old Pamela in a teal jumpsuit with an ivory and teal print long-sleeved tee shirt.

"She's feeding Caitlin, in one of the bedrooms."

"Here, let me take Pammy," Aisling held out her hands for the child. "The other kids are in the base – Brigid, Patrick, and Columcille, what was that!"

"Probably a 3.1," Steve said. The California residents were used to minor tremors. Apparently Aisling wasn't.

"It felt like the waves in the ocean," she said.

"Well, it was a wave in the earth," her uncle told her.

Everyone decided they had best go check out their houses, just to make sure that no water or gas lines were affected by the earth's up and down movement.

"We'll check your place, Jessica," Frank Muñoz said, as he and his nephew Jesse headed toward the door.

"Thanks. Check Clara's, too," Jessica called out. "I hope she's okay. She should have been here by now; it's almost 11:30."

A half-hour later, the Air Force colonel and the dentist returned to the party. They grabbed some drinks and joined Danny, Ken Robbins, Timmy Jenkins, and Hank.

"Everything okay?" Ken asked.

"What about Clara? Is she okay?" This from Danny.

"Clara is just **fine**," Frank answered with a glance at his nephew.

"Huh?" Timmy sensed some sort of undercurrent between the two Muñoz men.

Hank's eyes lit up with understanding.

"Are you telling us that Clara's got herself a ma-an?" Hank was excited, spoke louder than he intended. He was an incurable romantic at heart, no matter the sexual preference of the people involved. Everyone else on the patio heard him.

"When she didn't answer the door, we were a little concerned," Frank answered, "so I used my key. We heard water running in the bathroom."

"We didn't hear the voices until we walked in the bedroom," Jesse chuckled.

Thirty minutes later, CJ left Mei-ling's bedroom. Caitlin had been fussy, even after being fed and changed, but now she was finally sleeping in her little portable bassinet. CJ figured she had maybe an hour to get some food before her newborn would wake up again. After that, her energy would give out and she would take the baby home with her. If Danny, Paddy, and Aisling, who was spending a week or so with them before going back to Ireland for Christmas, wanted to stay at the party, that was okay. Especially since the party was in Danny's honor, she laughed to herself.

As she walked into the Wei living room, Danny left the group of guys and came up to her. As Danny reached her side, CJ saw Clara standing about twenty feet away. CJ pulled Danny with her as she walked to the other woman. She didn't notice the slight hesitation on Danny's part.

Just as they reached Clara, Paul came up to the group, balancing a plate of brunch food (mini-quiches, small muffins, some whole strawberries) and two mimosas.

"Oh, hi, CJ. Here, you take one of these." Paul handed her a mimosa. "I'll go get another for me in a second." Then he handed the other drink to Clara.

"Thank you."

There was something in Clara's voice that caused CJ's head to turn away from Danny and look at the other woman and the minister.

The smile on Paul's face, the relaxed set of his shoulders, the sense of fulfilled satisfaction in his eyes, the confident masculinity that radiated from his body, was not something that was unknown to CJ. It was just that the last time she had seen it was over thirty years ago; the last time she had seen it, she was the one responsible for it.

CJ handed her drink to Danny.

The first hug was a one-armed one, a brief one.

"Do you know how lucky you are?" she whispered in Clara's ear as she lightly kissed the woman's cheek.

The next one was two-armed and much longer.

"See, I **told** you that God wanted this for you, wanted me to find someone for you!" She kissed the side of his face.

"And **I** told you that if God wanted it, it would happen, and so it did, in His time," Paul laughed. "Seriously, in all your scheming, can you honestly say that you would ever have thought about **her** for me?"

In all honesty, no. Jessica, maybe, but not Clara.

True, Clara was eleven years older than CJ was, which made her eight years older than Paul, but at this point, that difference was negligible. And, in any event, Paul would have been fine with an older woman even when he was in his thirties. And Clara was very attractive, kept active, and was in excellent shape.

No, it was that in all the time that CJ had known Clara, she seemed content with her widowhood. Clara had never dated, had never brought anyone to neighborhood affairs. Clara socialized with the neighbors; with other single women – divorced, widowed, or never married; and with her children and their families.

"So give me details."

Paul told her that he and Clara had felt a connection back in September at the party. Then came movies, dinners, some lectures, some plays. They had kept it very much under cover, with Paul arranging for cabs rather than letting his car be seen in the neighborhood. Right now, his car was safely inside Clara's two car garage.

It sounded so familiar so CJ – a chance meeting, developing a rapport, then sexual attraction within two months.

"And this?" CJ made a gesture, moving her hand between the two of them.

"CJ, that is none of your concern," Danny softly admonished his wife.

"Sweetheart, I live in a men's dormitory on a Jesuit campus! Overnight guests of the opposite sex are against the rules. What kind if example would I set?" Paul just laughed.

Although when pressed, Frank and Jesse wouldn't give any details, the damage, if there was any, had been done and when Clara and Paul walked into the Wei house about five minutes before CJ came out of the bedroom, everyone was surprised, and mostly pleased, to learn the identity of Clara's "friend".

Danny's first reaction was "he won't be there for CJ if anything happens to me!" His second reaction was shame – that he would want the minister to forego certain happiness just in case.

"Uncle Danny, please believe me, please believe Aunt Sorcha; nothing bad is going to happen."

Aisling came up and slipped an arm around her uncle's waist.

And finally, after over two years, Danny Concannon **knew**. Whatever uncertainty there might have been regarding his future with CJ and their children, the issue had been resolved in September.

"Thank you, Ash," he kissed his niece on the cheek, glad that he and CJ had chosen Aisling to be godmother to the little cousin that looked so much like her.

Then Danny issued a silent prayer. _"Gratias tibi ago, Domine."_

About two hours later, Paul was sitting by himself on the Wei patio. CJ had taken Caitlin home with her; Jessica had gone to sit with her in case the baby awoke while CJ was sleeping. Clara was talking with Diana, Laura, and Hannah.

"Hey, Paul."

The minister looked up to see Frank, Danny, and Ken.

"Ah, could we – I mean – I guess what we - " The lawyer seemed to be at a loss for words.

"Am I being asked if my intentions are honorable?" Paul smiled at the others, slightly amused. Somehow, he conveyed the idea that it was normal for him to be calm and for the three of them to be nervous.

"In a word, yes." Frank's military training and leadership skills asserted themselves.

"Did you really have to ask?" Paul stared at Danny and spoke quietly.

"Well," Danny started.

"You need to understand; we are very close here." Ken found his voice and his authority. "We look out for each other, for each other's children. It's natural for us to be especially concerned about Clara, Jessica, and Cindy."

"And it's one thing when it's about my roof or my car. It's something entirely different when it comes to my relationships. I'm not a fool!" Clara had seen the men and had some idea of what was happening. She sat on the arm of Paul's chair.

"It's okay, dear." Paul reached for her hand. "I'm glad that there were men who had your welfare at heart all these years since Cosmo passed."

Only Danny sensed the iota of mild reproof in Paul's words.

Paul turned to the crowd that had drifted over at the sound of Clara's raised voice.

"So I guess Cindy has twelve fathers to make her boyfriends feel uneasy. We'll be telling our children this weekend. The wedding will be on February 9th. That should give the school enough time to find someone else to take my place in the dorm. Cindy, I hope you won't mind father figure number thirteen after that. We'll postpone the first honeymoon a month, until Spring Break. "

"The first honeymoon?" Billy Rogers asked.

"We'll take more time in the summer, before we move back to Washington," Clara added.

"But I expect the rest of our life together to be a honeymoon," Paul added.

(Teenagers Carmen and Cindy sighed. It was all too romantic, they had told each other.)

"You'll be leaving us in May?" Aviva expressed the minor disappointment they all felt.

"Whither thou goest," Clara said, smiling at her newly acknowledged future husband.

"Teaching has been fun, but for now, I want to return to ministry," Paul said.

The sound of breaking glass disrupted the group.

"Paddy! No!" came the voice from the basement.

As everyone else started to run toward the basement steps, Jesse Muñoz quietly spoke to Clara and Paul.

_Later that afternoon; Concannon residence_

Danny slipped into the nursery with a whimpering Caitlin and closed the door. Hopefully, CJ wouldn't wake from the sounds. The baby had finished nursing only a half hour ago and the odor emanating from her indicated the reason for her distress.

Ten minutes later, a freshly diapered infant lay sleeping in her father's arms as he rocked her and gently sang "I'll take you home again, Kathleen" (but pronouncing the name in the Gaelic way).

Danny slipped his daughter into the crib and stole into the master bedroom. He carefully lay down behind his wife.

Paddy and Aisling were with Frank and Diana. They would go to church with the Muñoz family and attend the children's posada after the Saturday evening Mass.

Things were a bit different this time around. Gina and Randy came down from Napa when CJ came home from the hospital and stayed for two weeks. However, for the past week, until Aisling arrived on Thursday night their only help had been the neighbors. Everyone pitched in (but now Danny knew why Clara couldn't take over three nights ago when Jessica had "intestinal issues") and they were managing.

Danny had the same marching orders from Scott that he had with Paddy ("Get her in the shower every day and for a short walk every day.") and the second time around was a little easier. So far, Paddy didn't have any sibling rivalry issues.

When Ash flew home to Ireland for Christmas early next week, they would have hired help during the day four days a week. Maristella was a nurse practitioner recommended by Linda Tallchief and Maria Guadalupe (whose skills as lactation coach weren't needed with Caitlin.) She reminded Danny of someone, but he couldn't figure out whom. The girls from the parish Teen Club were also helping out after school until 9:00 PM.

Erin would loved to have come over to help, but Fiona and Brendan were anxiously waiting the birth of their first child (she had a Christmas due date) and Erin's first priority was her soon to be grandchild.

Hogan had developed a subtropical parasitic infection and needed constant care. Her husband was still in the middle of the Indian Ocean, so Mitch and Alison needed to take care of their daughter.

"Danny?" CJ stirred and pushed herself back against him.

"Yes, my love?"

CJ turned around to face her husband. They indulged in the "teen-aged sex" that would be their only satisfaction until after the New Year.

"That was nice," CJ sighed. "So, that was great news about Paul and Clara, wasn't it?"

"Yeah. You're all okay with everything?"

"Why wouldn't I be, Danny?"

Danny knew he had to tread carefully, but he knew they had to talk about it.

"Jeannie, for the last two years or so, it had to be a bit of an ego boost to know that your first real boyfriend still cared so much about you."

She started to protest. "Danny, I wasn't getting an ego boost!"

"H'kay."

Damn it, she thought, he does it to me everytime.

"Danny, you know I would **never** do anything - "

He stopped her with a kiss.

"Of course I know that, dearheart, and I know that he would never either. I've never had the slightest problem with your relationship with Paul."

"But Toby's a different story. Don't lie to me, Danny," CJ said when it was Danny's turn to protest. "For the past two years, I felt I had to tiptoe around my friendship with Toby. If you were secure about Paul and me, why weren't you secure about Toby and me?"

Danny sighed and told CJ about his anxieties since Carol and David's wedding. Danny told CJ about asking Paul to marry her if anything ever happened to him.

"So maybe your concern about my reaction to Clara and Paul is really your anxiety about his no longer being available for me if you."

"Maybe it was."

"Was?"

"Was. Whatever was causing my concerns about my future with you and the kids, it's gone now." But I'll be even happier if Toby and Andy remarry, Danny thought.

The cries came again over the baby monitor. CJ moaned slightly and started to get out of bed.

"I'll get her, Jeannie."

"I love you, Danny. I love our life together. I love our children. God is good."

_December 25, 2012; late afternoon_

It had been a quiet Christmas, but a very special one. It was the first time that Paddy remembered from one year to the next and his enthusiasm was contagious.

Danny had taken Paddy to the children's Mass on the previous evening. CJ went to the 10:30 service this morning after Paddy had torn through his presents.

The Concannons had been invited to several holiday dinners but declined all of them; they told their friends that they wanted a quiet day with just the four of them. However, Danny, CJ, and Paddy were very grateful for the food that everyone brought over for them (turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and gravy from Sally and Billy; homemade bread and an apple pie from Laura Robbins; cinnamon coffee cake from Diana; steamed pork buns from the Wei's.)

The temperature was in the high 70's and the sun was dipping into the ocean, setting it afire much like it did that February in '08 when CJ was pregnant with the twins. The four of them were on the deck in a glider. Paddy was sound asleep on Danny's lap, still wearing the stethoscope from the "doctor" kit that was his "most bestest ever" toy (at least for this hour.) CJ was at Danny's side, his right arm around her shoulders. Caitlin was nuzzled against CJ's right breast, drawing nourishment.

Danny realized that only one thing could make him happier – two four and a half year old boys playing at their feet.

_January 13, 2013; St. Monica Catholic Church_

"Parents, what name have you chosen for this child?"

"Caitlin Delores."

"And what do you ask for Caitlin Delores?"

"Baptism."

"Godparents, do you promise to help these parents to raise Caitlin Delores as a child of God?"

"We do."

Father Luke unwrapped the blanket from the infant and gently lowered her, up to her shoulders, in the warm baptistery. He filled the pitcher with some of the water and raised it over the baby's head.

"Caitlin Delores, I baptize you in the name of the Father" water splashed over her head "and of the Son" more water "and of the Holy Spirit" a third splash of water "A – MEN!"

Caitlin giggled.

Paul and Aisling took the baby to the back of the church, changed her soaking diaper, and dressed her in the gown worn by her cousins and her brother.

_Later that afternoon; Concannon residence_

The party was in full swing.

Several people admired the two engagement rings – the delicate pear-shaped diamond that graced Clara's hand and the slight larger brilliant cut one that sparkled on Nancy's. (Jesse proposed right after Midnight Mass on Christmas.) Jesse told the crowd that he and Nancy would be buying Clara's house when Clara and Paul moved to Washington in May. Jesse would move in right away, with Nancy joining him after their early September wedding.

"Where are my kids? We need to get to the airport." Andy approached Danny. She had brought the kids out to California for a week of sun and fun.

Danny looked around. He saw Molly talking with Stevie Muñoz, trying very hard to hide her enthrallment with the boy who was two years older and just coming into his father's good looks.

"Well, there's one," Danny said. "Now, where is Huck – Oh!"

Danny started as he saw Molly's twin holding Caitlin close to his face. Danny hurried over to the not quite ten year old, obviously anxious about his daughter.

Huck looked up as Danny came running up to him.

"Huck, give me the baby!"

"Don't worry, sir, I'd never let anything happen to Caitlin. I'll always take care of her."

Then Toby's son bent his lips down, whispered something in the baby's ear, and gently kissed her forehead before handing her to Danny.

As Andy hustled her children into the car and drove away, Huck looked back at the house and smiled.

"I know where you are, and I'll be back. Seventeen years, ten months, and one week," he said to himself.


	57. Gaudeamus Igitur

**Gaudeamus Igitur**

CJ/Danny; many other West Wingers

Rating Adult – sex

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

_Thursday May 16, 2013; Los Angeles, CA; University of Southern California; Graduate School Hooding Ceremony_

"Daniel Michael Concannon"

"Clap for Daddy."

Abbey Bartlet put her hands around Caitlin's and gently pushed them against each other. Everyone else in the Concannon contingent joined in -- except for Josh, Hank, Rick, and Charlie, who were whistling, stomping, and cheering; and Paul Reeves, who was holding Paddy on his shoulders in order to give the not quite four year-old a clear view of his father. CJ was down by the stage, taking pictures like a pro.

"Assisting in Danny's hooding is former president Josiah Bartlet."

Jed helped the Dean of the Annenberg School place the hood with its dark blue velvet trim and its cardinal and gold lining over Danny's head while the president of USC read some biographical data about the new Doctor of Philosophy.

"Danny already has three Pulitzer Prizes, two for articles written while he worked for the _Washington Post_, and one for his biography of Leo McGarry. Later this summer, his latest book, a biography of the Pope, will be published. Danny successfully defended his dissertation last fall and has been teaching part-time with us this past semester. Next fall, he will join the University as an Assistant Professor in the Annenberg School of Journalism. That is, assuming Danny can survive the war that must be tearing at his soul. Danny received his Bachelor's degree from that institution that must not be named, the one near South Bend, Indiana."

As the audience laughed in appreciation, Danny exchanged hugs with Jed, shook the hands of the dean and the university president, accepted his symbolic diploma and another handshake from the provost, and posed for a picture with the three academicians and President Bartlet. Then he and Jed returned to their places as the next doctoral degree recipient was summoned.

CJ returned to the group of neighbors and friends who were present to see Danny recognized for his work.

"Daddy doctor? Fix my ouchies?"

Paddy smiled at his mother from his perch, but gave no indication he wanted to get down. He was enjoying being taller than everyone else in the group. Luckily, Paul was willing to oblige the little boy.

"He's not that kind of doctor, honey," CJ reminded her son as she and Abbey exchanged a six-month old baby and a camera.

_Later that same day; Santa Monica, CA; Concannon residence_

"Well, since Cindy's going to be a senior this fall and going off to college after that, I decided I wanted to do something with the rest of my life. But I've been out of the working world for more than sixteen years and I didn't have any real expectations. So when Nancy offered me a position on her staff, I jumped at the chance."

Jessica was discussing her new position with "Road to a Better World" with Donna, Bonnie, Ginger, and Zoey.

"Well, Nancy says you're a very quick learner. Thank you."

Bonnie took a plate and some _hors d'oeuvres_ from the catering staff waitress. This was one party that CJ was not going to attempt by herself. Between the neighbors, the members of the Bartlet bunch who had come to celebrate with them, and other friends, there would be well over one hundred people at the party.

"Mrs. Lyman?"

Donna turned at the sound of her name and saw fifteen year-old Carmen Muñoz coming toward her.

"Joannie's got the runs." Carmen's nose twitched a little in distaste. "We put her in a pair of Maggie's undies, she messed hers. Mom has some Pedialite ™ if you'd like us to try giving her some of that."

The Lymans had planned a week's visit with CJ and Danny after the festivities, so they had brought the children with them. The four little Lymans, Bonnie and Jean-Luc's Giselle, plus Paddy and the other children on the block were being watched by Carmen, Cindy, and Audra Feldman in the Muñoz' house.

"I'd better go check on her," Donna told the young woman. "Let Josh know where I am, wherever he is?" she asked the others.

"He's part of the tavern singers," Zoey volunteered, pointing through the glass wall separating the courtyard from the family room. The others turned and took in the sight of Danny, Sam, President Bartlet, Paul, Josh, Rick, Ken Robbins, Joel Feldman, and Steve, lifting glasses of Guinness and singing. The triple trio was surprisingly on key with their three part harmony

_"Gaudeamus igitur  
Juvenes dum sumus  
Post jucundum juventutem  
Post molestam senectutem  
Nos habebit humus."_

However, the triple trio became a quartet (Danny, Sam, Paul, and Jed) by the middle of the second verse, with the former President doing a solo by the time the fourth verse ended.

Forty-five minutes later, Donna was back at the party.

"I called Dr. Campbell at home," she told CJ and Diana. "He said there wasn't anything going around the DC area that he knew of. Next I checked with Margaret, who said that no one at the White House day care was sick. Hopefully, it's just something Joannie has. Dr. Campbell wants me to do the BRAT thing and keep her away from the boys. If it's okay with you, CJ, I'd like to bring her back here now, put her in our room."

"Of course, it's okay with me! As if you had to ask! And we can put her on the couch in my office tonight," CJ said. "Noah, Leo, and Micah Lyman were sleeping on the floor in Paddy's room and Joannie had the upper bunk bed. " I've got an extra set of baby monitors somewhere, I think."

"It won't be an inconvenience?" Donna asked.

"I haven't really used it much since Caitlin. And I don't think the Board of Directors will be as demanding as a presidency," CJ laughed.

In mid-January, CJ gave Frank Hollis her resignation from "Road to a Better World", telling him that she wasn't sure if and when she would want to return to the project. He tried to convince her not to leave, but to take an open-ended leave of absence.

"Frank, here's the thing: you need a president that knows the job is there for as long as he or she wants it. You can't guarantee that if I'm on leave. It's best I do it this way; the only thing I need is COBRA until Danny starts full-time at USC in the fall."

However, Franklin Hollis didn't get to where he was without having contingency plans; he offered CJ a position on the Hollis Foundation Board of Directors. It would mean one meeting a month, plus maybe one two day event a year. The money would be about forty percent of what she was earning as president of the project. "It'll cover your COBRA," Frank joked.

After discussing the offer with Danny, CJ told Frank she would accept the offer, "but I won't start until July."

For the moment, Glen Walken was functioning as acting president, but the former president had told the Hollis' that he didn't want the job on a permanent basis. His decision became more understandable when Valentine's Day found Ainsley wearing a brilliant cut diamond solitaire on her left hand. Frank was still looking for a new president, but was optimistic that he would find someone soon.

"May I have your attention?" Sam's voice carried throughout the courtyard. "Could someone get the others?"

Hank and Steve went through the rest of the house, summoning everyone to the courtyard.

"Danny," Jed Bartlet addressed the man of the hour as well as everyone else, we know that CJ said no gifts', but we decided not to listen to her."

Sam handed a large box to Danny.

When opened, it contained a black doctoral robe with the three velvet bands in dark blue, an exact duplicate of the hood he had donned earlier in the day, and a black velvet tam.

"You'll need the regalia at least once a year, Danny. Renting it would be foolish," the former president explained. "However, I want it known that Abbey's and my contribution was used only for the gown and the tam; I refused to contribute to USC colors!"

_Even later that night_

"I think she's done. Hold her a minute while I get up?"

CJ removed Caitlin from her breast and held the baby toward Danny.

"I'll take care of her." Danny kissed CJ lightly as he got off the bed, then took the little girl and walked into the nursery.

When Danny returned to the bedroom, he noticed that CJ was still on the bed, still wearing nothing other than her panties. He felt himself stirring at the sight of her.

"Ditch the boxers."

"Gladly," he smiled as he removed them and walked toward the bed, the light from the lamp catching on the fine hairs of his naked body.

"Not so fast, Doctor Danny. Put on the hood and the tam."

"CJ?"

"Please?" She smiled as she played with the elastic of her underwear.

_Saturday May 18_

"CJ, this is marvelous!"

Ellie grabbed a mini-quiche from the tray and popped it in her mouth.

Danny had taken their male guests and the men of the neighborhood sailing. The women were lazing by the pool and the hot tub. The younger children were over at the Hammash's, celebrating Manny's fifth birthday; the older ones who still needed supervision were at their own pool party at the Robbins' place, under the supervision of Jill Robbins and Becky Feldman.

"I'm not sure why we all didn't go to Commencement yesterday?" Abbey asked.

"Because it was the entire university, some 10,000 people being graduated _en masse._ Danny went because he wanted to, and because he could show off his new tam. I was happier just staying here with the kids, after all the excitement of Thursday."

"Well, I think the ceremony and pageantry are nice," Clara added her view.

"And I'm sure that your husband looking very dashing and distinguished in his robes has nothing to do with your opinion," Abbey teased.

"I'm sure it has everything to do with it," Clara replied with a big smile on her face, remembering Loyola Marymount's commencement.

"Yeah, there's something about a guy in a cape-like thing and a hat."

"Now, CJ, why did you blush when Ellie said that? Inquiring minds want to know," Diana asked.

After the minute or so of general laughter, Clara looked at everyone.

"I **am** going to miss all of you so very much."

"And we'll miss you and Paul," Cindy told the older woman.

"You leave for Lake Louise a week from Wednesday?"

"No, we're going to the Yucatan first, for two weeks, then a week in Banff, followed by taking the train across to Toronto, before ending up in DC."

"You know, for a honeymoon like that, I think I would have been willing to wait for three months myself," Laura Robbins sighed. "Ken and I had a week at Acapulco."

"But you were so young. Isn't he taking you on a cruise through the Greek Islands this fall?" CJ asked. "That's a nice second honeymoon."

"Says the lady who got taken to Scotland for her first," Bonnie joked.

"Frank and I just had a weekend in Monterey," Diana said. "Until that cruise to Alaska five years ago."

"The one nine months before Maggie was born?" Aviva asked as the other women laughed and Diana blushed.

"Speaking of months," Zoey said, "come November - "

"I **thought** you were glowing!"

"Charlie must be so happy!"

"As long as we're confessing," Carol interrupted, "me, too."

"Me, three." Abbey looked at Ellie and gasped. She had known about Zoey, but not her middle daughter.

"And me," Bonnie and Ginger spoke together. They looked at each other, and laughed. "Hurrah for Saint Valentine!"

_Monday May 20_

"Our men are really sweet, aren't they?" Donna sipped on her margarita as she and CJ lounged in the hot tub.

Josh and Danny had taken Paddy, Noah, and the triplets to the beach, leaving CJ and Donna with Caitlin. Two hours later, the woman who came in twice a week to help with the little girl rang the doorbell; Donna and CJ were women of leisure, at least until Caitlin needed another feeding.

"Yes, they are. Paddy loves doing things with Danny and Danny loves doing things with him. When Danny comes home from school, Paddy is waiting at the door for him, nine times out of ten. It's really kind of cute. They go into the den, Danny with a small scotch and Paddy with a glass of apple juice, and talk about their days."

"What about bath and bedtime?" Donna asked.

"We alternate. Right now, Caitlin is feeding about the same time, so if I'm with Paddy, Danny's giving her a bottle. Luckily, that gives us at least an hour for ourselves, more if Danny doesn't have to grade papers or exams. How's everything working with you guys?"

"Well, Josh still takes them with him to the White House in the morning and he tries to stop in during the day. If I can get away earlier than he can, and I usually can, I come take the kids and the van, leaving him my car."

"Excuse me. CJ?"

CJ and Donna looked up to see an African-American woman of medium height and build standing by a few feet from them. She was holding a bare-bottomed Caitlin in her arms.

"Honey, how long has she had this?" The woman pointed to a rosy pink rash on the infant's right inner thigh.

"It wasn't there when I changed her at ten, Maristella." CJ stood up and stretched out her arms for her daughter. "She doesn't seem to be fussing. Let me go call Linda's office."

"Let's hold off on that for a while, CJ. When we put her back for her nap, let's leave her bottom undiapered and just put a little cornstarch and water paste on the rash to soothe any itching. It may be nothing. We just don't want it spreading, especially into her genitalia. Here you go, sweetie." The woman pulled a rattle from the right hip pocket of her medium blue culottes and distracted the child.

"Sounds good." CJ put Caitlin into Maristella's outstretched hands and watched as the woman and child returned to the bedroom wing of the house.

"Your nanny seems very nice," Donna observed.

"She's not really just a nanny. Maristella is a nurse practitioner, she has her Master's in Nursing Science. She's worked with Hospice for the past ten years. Right before Caitlin was born, she kind of burnt out with all that **that** involves and decided she needed a break. Her husband wanted her to just kick back and work with her garden, he's a custom furniture maker, has a shop in town, their son works with him, but she said she needed to work, she just wanted to do something happy and uplifting' for a while. Linda and Lupé recommended her to us, so we've had her since January. Right now, she's here two days a week, from eleven till four. It gives me time to run a few errands and to spend time with Paddy."

"How's he adjusting to not being the only one?"

"Pretty well. Doing the man to man' thing with Danny helps. Also, he's been asking for a dog and we told him that having an animal is a big boy's privilege, so he's trying to show us that he's a big boy," CJ laughed.

"And?"

"Next month, Danny will go to the shelter and choose. We want a young dog, but we don't want a puppy; I'm not ready to toilet train another kid just yet," CJ laughed. "Danny says I can't go, I'd be too illogical, but I'm sure he'll be swayed by the most pitiful case. I just made sure Danny agreed that this dog will be fifty-fifty between the two of us."

"We told Noah that he can have a gerbil or a hamster now, but a dog will have to wait for two years, when we move to the beach," Donna said. "It just wouldn't work in the condo, with our hours and everything." Then she changed the subject. "So, you really are going to do the stay-at-home thing?"

"Why do you sound so surprised? You did it." CJ laughed.

"But just for the first year. And my situation was different; I had three infants and a toddler. So, is it Donna Reed' for you? I know Danny does a lot with Paddy, but what about the other stuff, the cooking and cleaning?"

"I still have Narcisia; in fact, she comes every week now. And Danny does an equal share of the laundry. I'm doing about seventy percent of the cooking, but that's okay. Danny was teaching on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays; he tended to spend most of those days on campus, grading, prepping, and holding office hours, so his time here was pretty much free for us, except for the column and polishing the book. Come fall, he'll be teaching two classes on the Tuesday Thursday shift and a seminar on Friday morning, so we'll adjust accordingly.

"Donna, I don't know whether it's because of the kids, or because I know that Danny loves me, but for now, this feels right. I don't feel as if I'm any less of a person in my own right because Danny is carrying the load financially right now. I know that Danny feels good about being able to make it possible for me to have this time with the kids, but he doesn't pull any of that head of the household' crap. In any event, what do I have left to prove to the outside world? What more does anyone have the right to expect from me?"

"Well, if you're happy then I'm happy for you, CJ, but I was really glad to get back to work. For one thing, I missed the adult company, especially after Josh's mother went back to Florida, and then when she passed; for another, we really do need the income." Donna smiled wryly.

"As far as the money goes, we've stopped prepaying principal on the place in Albion and we're saving a little less, but we're okay.

"There's enough adult company. Diana switched to subbing last winter. This is just between us, but Stevie started getting involved with a bad group of boys and she and Frank decided that maybe she should be home more often. And now that he's made Brigadier, he told her she doesn't have to even do that unless she really wants to, so she's here most of the time, as are Cindy, Clara, and Aviva. Laura runs her custom drapery and upholstery business from home, so she's here a lot. We do things together, take the kids on junkets, that sort of thing. Then, of course, Steve's here most of the time, and Paul's been here when he isn't teaching. In fact, his schedule complemented Danny's, so we still had two men around most of the time."

"Paul seems to have fit right in with the rest of you," Donna observed.

"He's that kind of guy. And he's been good for all of us. Right after her birthday, Maggie started teasing Paddy about being a little kid of three' while she was a big girl of four'. Diana and I tried to downplay it, but wondered why that started. Paul pointed out that Paddy, while still wanting to stay close to Maggie, was also trying to get close with Manny and Ricky, who teased him about his girlfriend'. He said that Derrick and Deborah went through something similar, even though she's all of thirty-nine minutes older than her brother."

"I wondered why Paddy didn't ask if Maggie could go along with them today. So, is the great romance of the twenty-first century ended?"

"No, they made up', but Maggie's at the dentist. But she'll be with us tomorrow when we go to Disneyland."

_Tuesday May 28; early morning_

Paul Reeves stretched carefully, taking care not to wake his wife. He looked around the guest room in the Concannon home, remembering the first time he had visited CJ and Danny. He remembered the bed as being very comfortable, but it was a lot more comfortable when shared with a woman you loved.

Yesterday, he and Clara had taken the last things from the house they had shared for three months. Some special pieces of furniture, the china, the silver, were sent to Clara's children. Most of the rest had been donated to the Habitat for Humanity resale store. Only the bedroom set was being shipped to Washington, to replace the one that had been Paul and Alicia's.

Later today, they would sign the papers that would transfer the property to Jesse Muñoz and Nancy Estevez. Tomorrow, they would fly to the Yucatan for the start of their delayed honeymoon. In a little over a month, they would be settling as a couple into their life together in Washington, buying new furniture and furnishings.

Paul smiled as he looked down on Clara's peaceful face, on her slight frame under the sheet and light blanket. "Thank you," he prayed to the God he had chosen to serve, "for bringing us together, for giving us each someone else to love."

It was funny how they both knew, even before they consummated their relationship, that they belonged with each other. Their first night together was in a hotel north of Malibu. Paul was nervous, but tried very hard to hide his discomfort. He knew that Clara was nervous also, especially when she saw him nude and aroused. From the pictures in her house, he knew that Cosmo was a slight man, not much taller, not much stockier than his wife. Paul assumed that Clara's late husband's genitalia was in proportion to his build and although Paul knew that it wasn't how much you had but how you used it, he also knew that between the size difference and the fact that Clara had been celibate for almost nine years, he would have to be cautious at first.

However, she adjusted easily to him and while it was apparent that Clara and Cosmo's bedroom repertoire was less varied than his and Alicia's, Clara was used to satisfying a man and being satisfied by one. His long sexual sabbatical had not affected his skills; he hoped that he and she weren't too obvious during this short stay with CJ and Danny.

Paul formally asked Clara to marry him the night before the party and the earthquake; it was the first time he spent the night with her in the house.

In the morning, when they woke, Clara asked him if he had time to go shopping that afternoon.

"For what?" he smiled as he trailed his hand over her breast and down toward her navel. "Other than a ring, of course."

"New bedroom furniture, drapes, linens, paint."

He reached down and deeply kissed her, moved by her understanding.

The earth moved. It took them a minute to realize that it wasn't all just emotion.

Over the next few weeks, they met each other's families and finalized their plans.

In February, they married in a small ceremony attended by their families and their friends on the block. Clara's son, the Greek Orthodox priest, witnessed their vows. Derrick was his father's best man; Clara's older daughter stood up with her mother.

Paul moved his things into the house and for three months, he became part of the community. There were family events, adults only activities, and male-bonding excursions. For the first time since Alicia fell ill, he was really enjoying himself.

Paul especially enjoyed partnering with Steve in providing an adult male presence for the block during the day when he wasn't at Marymount. Like Danny, he marveled at Steve's total control of the women and girls of the neighborhood. He and Danny teased the financial consultant over the irony of someone with Steve's sexual preference having such a command over the female of the species.

"Actually, I think it's the fact that there is no physical attraction that makes them so amenable to me," Steve laughed. "They know, subconsciously, that there's no need for any pretense."

Yesterday was an emotional day for Clara and she was probably still mentally exhausted. Parting with the material relics of a happy life with someone who had loved you, who had given you children, was a heart-wrenching experience, even when new love had entered your life. Their lovemaking last night was sweet and gentle. Afterward, Clara told him that she was glad to be spending the rest of her life with him.

Paul slipped carefully out of the bed and went into the bathroom. He pulled on some summer-weight sweats, brushed his teeth, washed his face, and went in search of coffee.

"CJ?" Paul walked into the kitchen, lured by the smell of the coffee then stopped at the sight of the nursing mother. "I'm sorry; I'll come back."

"Don't be silly; I remember how much you need that first cup. It's decaf, of course."

CJ draped a blanket over her shoulder and the head of her daughter, but not before Paul had time to reflect that, in an alternate universe, it could have been a dark-haired child with _café au lait_ coloring being nourished by the creamy breast of a younger CJ.

"We're going to miss you both. I wish you were staying. And not just for the educational benefits," CJ laughed.

The neighborhood had gathered together one Friday night in early March; they were celebrating Billy and Sally Rogers' anniversary. Nancy and Jesse were late to the party.

"That was the most boring pre-Cana conference class ever," Nancy said as the couple apologized for being late. "It was the class on sex."

"A boring sex talk?" Danny laughed.

"I swear the guy was just reading from a textbook," Jesse added. "If you closed your eyes, you would think you were listening to Ben Stein. The moderator apologized after the guy left, said that the original lecturer was sick. They've rescheduled her, but we won't be able to make it."

"Well, it's a shame you couldn't hear the guy that spoke to us the Valentine's Day before Maggie and Paddy were born," Frank Muñoz told his nephew. "He really knew his stuff. What was his name, honey?" Frank turned to his wife.

When Diana mentioned the priest's name, Paul told the group that he had trained with the man. In fact, the two of them taught premarital classes in tandem for a while when both of them were in Kentucky.

"If you'd like," Paul told Jesse and Nancy, "I could go over the material with you."

"What about the rest of us?" Ken Robbins asked. "CJ, Danny, Frank, and Diana really piqued our curiosity when they told us about the sex talk'. We'd be interested." He looked at Laura and smiled. "You're never too old to learn."

"Okay, next Friday at our place," Paul laughed. "Sex 101 for Couples."

"May we come?" Hank asked.

"Sure. Some of the anatomy lessons wouldn't apply, but the relationship things would. However, except for Jesse and Nancy, no one from off the block, and none of the kids. Timmy, if you or Jimmy are free and want to back me up on the physiology?"

Unfortunately, both of the doctors were on duty that night.

Jessica volunteered oversee the children. "I doubt I'll ever marry again; I won't be needing any refresher classes."

"Never say never. You've gone back to work. Who knows what the future may hold. I'm not saying you have to go looking, but remain open to the possibility." Clara looked over at her husband and smiled.

After Paul's presentation the next week, the group decided that they should take advantage of each other's skills. In April, Ken gave a presentation on basic legal information and right before Danny's graduation, Steve went over some tax and financial planning matters. Next month, Sally Rogers would be talking about insurance. Over the summer, the Jenkins twins would lead an "Owner's Manual for the Human Body" discussion and Danny volunteered to show the block "what the schools are no longer teaching your kids about grammar, composition, and spelling and how to do teach them yourself".

"Seriously, Paul, I really wish you and Clara were staying here. I know that Marymount offered you a position. I have my sources," CJ said as Paul raised his eyebrow, "so don't deny it."

"Yes, they did. But CJ, even if Clara and I had decided to stay in LA, we couldn't have stayed here, in that house. For three months, it was okay, because it was temporary. But there was no way I could have lived with Clara in Cosmo's house for the long term. And there was no way she could have lived there with me long term. Alicia and Cosmo will always be there, and we don't want to forget them, but we want memories, not ghosts."

"If you and Clara had said something, I'm sure someone would have traded. Jessica's place is similar. Excuse me." CJ turned to the side, switched Caitlin, and readjusted the blanket.

"I don't know if that would have worked either. DC is best for us; neither of us have any history there. We'll be moving into the rectory, so it will be a new home for both of us. It's what's right – a new life in a new home. CJ, if you are ever in a similar situation, God forbid, remember that."

"Paul, I hope to God that if I ever have to deal with that, that you - "

"Sweetheart, anytime, anything, anywhere, you need me, you call me." Paul stood up, walked over to CJ, and lightly kissed her cheek. "God did a good thing for me when he brought you into my life so many years ago. If I haven't said it before, thank you for introducing me to Clara."

"He did a good thing for both of us."


	58. Head of Household

**Head of Household**

CJ/Danny; ensemble – everyone's invited to Nancy's wedding 

Rating Adult –

Spoilers through end of series

Introducing Destiny Concannon, female Canine-American of the yellow Labrador retriever variety

"Green Eggs and Ham" written by T. S. Geisel

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

_September 18, 2013; Santa Monica, CA_

CJ woke in the darkness and looked up at the ceiling. The time projected on the ceiling was 5:15. Turning back on her side, she snuggled her butt back into her husband's groin. Danny's warm breath caressed the back of her neck and his arm moved in sleep, draping over her hip.

She pressed her legs together in awareness of the satisfied fullness between them, reliving the previous night, when her husband had made very thorough and very expert love to her, with "to" being the operative word. Whenever she reached for him, he gently but insistently removed her hands from his body ("It's my treat."), finally grasping both of her hands in his left and holding them over her head while he used his right to drive her crazy.

The sex had always been very good between them (well, except for those few weeks the July after Paddy was born), but the past three or four months, it had reached a new dimension. She couldn't say what was different, only that it was better. It was as if some sort of sexual MSG, something that heightened every sensation, had been sprinkled on their marriage.

If CJ didn't know exactly what, she was fairly sure she knew why. The change came when Danny started his full-time employment with USC and she left "Road to a Better World". The change came when Danny assumed total financial responsibility for the four of them.

Of course, it wasn't as simple as it sounded.

First of all, it wasn't as if Danny had gone from flipping burgers to upper level management in four months. By the time Paddy was born, his syndicated column and his book royalties would have been enough to keep them comfortable. (They were lucky in that the sale of their places in DC plus the sale of CJ's old LA place were enough to pay for the Santa Monica property – before the remodeling, of course). The sticking point, as it was for so many families, was health insurance for the family. CJ knew that Aviva freely admitted that after all the expenses associated with working, her job added something like $550 to the Hammash annual income, but it did provide health insurance for the family. Wally was able to provide employee coverage for the restaurant personnel, but the cost of insuring spouses and children was out of reach for a small business such as his. Of course, Danny could have taken a full-time position as a reporter for the _LA Times_, but Danny didn't want to be a reporter. The Hollis Foundation provided excellent benefits for employee and for a very generous definition of family. However, USC had benefits that were just as good, at least for the traditional "family", so there was no problem with CJ leaving "Road to a Better World". There would be some minor changes in their lifestyle, such as fewer first-class fares when traveling to the East coast or to Ireland, but CJ knew that the Concannons were better off than the majority of families in America.

Second, Danny didn't push her to leave her job and assume an idealized role as wife, mother, and homemaker. Of course, they discussed their options, making sure that there were no dangerous assumptions, weighing how to make everything work for them, the way Danny said he wanted on that wintry night six Januaries ago, but the initial idea was CJ's and the final decision was also hers. Danny told her that he would do whatever it took to make it happen for her; he also asked the questions that clarified in both their minds that she wasn't running from "Road" but that she wanted the positive aspects of spending more time with Paddy and Caitlin. Just as CJ enjoyed her stints at Press Secretary and Chief of Staff but knew when it was time to leave those careers behind, she had found satisfaction in "Road" but walked away from it with no regrets and had embraced her new life with enthusiasm.

Third, CJ did not become a housewife. Narcisia still came to do housework every other week and Maristella came once a week to help with the children. Between Danny's Tuesday and Thursday mornings at home and Maristella on Wednesdays, she had time to help with Paddy's preschool, to spend time with Diana and the other women of the block, or to indulge herself with spa treatments (or time in bed with bonbons and a book). Danny and she still shared the other household duties. Danny had no problem cooking meals (or picking up roasted chicken, steamed shellfish, or barbequed ribs and take-out salad at Ralph's), doing laundry, or caring for the kids. And CJ still handled the family finances.

Last, and most important, Danny had no idea that the fact that he took so much joy in being, in this one respect, a traditional male hunter/gatherer type. Were he to realize it, CJ was sure that he would be embarrassed and apologetic. CJ was sure that Danny attributed his happiness to the fact that he was once again doing something he really enjoyed, something that he knew was important. The academic year had only been in session for about a month and he was already gaining a reputation among the students for being a good teacher (but not an "easy A"). His fellow faculty members liked him and he had already been asked to join one committee. Several others talked of nominating him for the Faculty Senate next spring. Danny was completely and utterly happy, and it showed.

It wasn't just in bed. Danny was a more patient, more relaxed father with Paddy, which resulted in his being a more effective parent. For example, Paddy still showed some signs of rebelling against CJ – protesting when told to go to bed or to pick up toys. Rather than give the child a lecture about obeying his mother, Danny merely gave him the choice of immediately apologizing and doing what she asked or being accompanied to his room by his father and suffering a time out the next day.

Danny was also a more patient, more relaxed husband. He still had his somewhat Neanderthal ideas about her traveling alone and using the Mustang, but he was much more low-key about voicing them. And, if she were honest with herself, the result was that she found herself deferring to his wishes, not because he was turning macho and insisting on "being the boss", but because she found herself agreeing with his opinions, following his lead. It reminded her of those two years with Paul, when she was a starry-eyed young woman in the throes of first love.

The baby monitor cackled; Caitlin was whimpering.

CJ quickly got out of bed and reached for her robe.

One of the things on which Danny had gently insisted over the past few months was that they stay unclothed after making love. He loved the feel of her snuggled up against him, he told her. He loved the idea of access.

When CJ voiced concern about Paddy, who had already walked in on them once during an importune moment ("Daddy, why is Mama kissing your wee-wee?"), Danny reminded her that when he spoke with their son about "good touches" and "bad touches", he also gave Paddy his first elementary lesson about sex.

Danny told Paddy that when grownup people really, really loved each other "like Mama and Daddy love each other", they would give each other good touches. Sometimes, these good touches would be on special places, the places where bad people might want to give bad touches. Those times were special times and were just between Mama and Daddy. Therefore, Paddy was never, ever to come into Mama and Daddy's bedroom unless they told him it was okay. And, no, even if Maggie said it was okay, the two of them weren't allowed to touch each other in those special places. It was something only grownups were allowed to do.

CJ entered the nursery. Caitlin was still making her little mewling sounds but she didn't seem as if she was about to burst into full-blown crying.

CJ thanked God for small favors. For the past two months, Caitlin would periodically go into crying jags that lasted for hours on end. She would cry and scream as if unheard of horrors were happening to her, until she exhausted herself and fell asleep. Even then, she seemed to be distressed; CJ and Danny wondered what nightmares were behind those tiny fitful eyelids.

Linda Tallchief could find nothing wrong; nor could the specialists at UCLA.

Sometimes, Caitlin did better with CJ; at others, with Danny. One time two weeks ago, she started her crying and screaming during the day, when Maristella was at the house. For some reason, Caitlin quieted as soon as the African-American woman picked up the child and started to rock her. There hadn't been an incident since then.

Caitlin giggled when CJ lifted her from the crib. A quick check revealed a diaper that was both wet and full.

CJ turned down the baby monitor and exchanged cooing and giggling sounds with her daughter as she changed the child. CJ lifted her from the changing table and Caitlin moved her mouth toward her mother's breast.

CJ sat in the rocker, loosened her robe, and fed her child. Caitlin had two little teeth, but they did not bother CJ that much as yet. There was no reason that she couldn't fulfill her desire to nurse Caitlin through her first birthday. After that, she would wean her daughter.

CJ glanced down. Caitlin's red hair against her skin reminded her again of sex with Danny. Danny's hair had long ago faded from the bright red of his youth, and there was more grey mixed in, but the sight was enough to remind her of another reason to stop breast feeding. It would be nice to have Danny no longer being oh, so very careful when he kissed her there.

Caitlin fell away from the nipple, softly snoring, so CJ returned her to the crib and pumped out the excess.

When she returned to the bedroom, she noted that it was now 6:05. She had another forty minutes before the alarm and spending them next to her still sleeping husband sounded like a good idea.

CJ must have dozed, because the next thing she knew, Danny's lips were lightly grazing her eyes while his hand played through her curls toward her core. She first felt, then saw, further evidence of his intentions.

"Do you need me or the bathroom?" she joked.

"I've already been to the bathroom."

Danny kissed her mouth and worked his fingers knowingly. Forty seconds later, she shrieked into his beard and Danny came over and into her.

Afterward, he was quieting her when the alarm sounded. She yawned and started to get up, but Danny gently pushed her back into the mattress.

"You go back to sleep. I'll get Paddy up and ready."

Paddy and Maggie were in pre-school at church three mornings a week. It was a compromise between not wanting to rob the children of their childhood and making sure that they were not at a disadvantage when they would be in kindergarten next year.

Again, she must have dozed because she awakened to the smell of coffee and the feel of warm and cold wetness on her forearm.

She opened her eyes and found herself staring into a pair of soulful dark brown ones. One more reason why her husband was completely and utterly happy.

"Good morning, Destiny." She ran her hand over the head of the four-year old yellow lab that had been part of their family since early June. The dog reached further; the cold nose and warm tongue now lavished love on CJ's face.

As CJ had told Donna back in May, she and Danny agreed to get a dog "for Paddy's fourth birthday" and Danny did go to the shelter to pick out the animal.

Destiny had been adopted out of the shelter when she was about 8 months old, having given birth to a litter, by an older widower on the east side of town. The gentleman had died in mid-May and his daughter-in-law wouldn't let the man's son keep Destiny "because she's yellow and our carpet is dark teal", so the dog was returned to the shelter. ("CJ, the folks at the shelter say that she's the sweetest thing they've ever seen, totally laid back and mellow, completely housebroken, knows all the basic commands. But most folks want puppies, not adult dogs. I know this means that Paddy and Caitlin will be dealing with the inevitable a bit earlier in their lives, but I really think she's perfect for us, and we're perfect for her.")

CJ told Danny what she had told him before – that she deferred to his judgment.

Theoretically, Destiny was Paddy's dog. She slept at the foot of his bed. Paddy was responsible for picking up the toys and for using the pooper-scooper in the fenced-in area between the pool and the edge of their property.

But apparently, Destiny never met a two-legged creature that she didn't like. You could find her curled up next to Danny in his den, resting at CJ's feet in the courtyard, or guarding Caitlin from whatever demons periodically tormented the baby as often as she acted as a pillow under Paddy's head in the family room while the boy watched television. Destiny was also fascinated by the little family of goldfish (Dagwood, Blondie, Alexander, and Cookie) that Danny had brought home to CJ about three weeks after Gail died and they found out about Brianna and Hugh, but she never got any closer to them than putting her nose up against the glass and watching them swim.

And Danny loved being greeted by the dog at the end of his day almost as much as he loved being greeted by his wife and his children. He and Paddy went walking with Destiny at least once a day; they were regulars at the off-leash dog park.

CJ told Diana that she felt a bit guilty, worried that Danny had not been completely open with her in the past when he told her that it was okay to wait before adding a "furkid" to their household.

When they went up to Albion, things were a bit trickier, as there was no fenced area for Destiny, but she seemed to take it in stride. When walking off leash in the woods, she would run ahead and would chase critters, but always came back to her people as soon as she was called.

"Okay, girl, down."

CJ looked past Destiny and saw Danny holding two steaming mugs in one hand and a plate of bagels in the other. The clock showed 8:15.

The dog obeyed Danny and sat at his feet, staring toward the nursery. Danny set down the dishes, walked to the door between their room and Caitlin's, and opened it.

"Okay."

The dog ran into the nursery, plopped herself down on the floor beside the crib, and stared at the sleeping baby.

Danny told CJ that Diana had taken the kids to preschool; he reminded CJ that she was to pick up Paddy and Maggie at noon because Diana was helping with the field trip for Mike's third grade class. Sixth grader Steve would need to be picked up at 3:00 because Diana and Mike wouldn't be back until 5:00. Diana told Danny to tell CJ thanks again for watching the kids for her. (Carmen had soccer practice at St. Monica's high. Diana would be back in time to get her older daughter.) Danny told CJ that Melanie from the Teen Club called to confirm that they would need someone to take care of the children on the 27th and on the 28th, when most of the Bartlet bunch would be gathering for Nancy's wedding to Jesse Muñoz. CJ told Danny that she would be taking his good charcoal grey suit to the cleaners on Monday and to plan his wardrobe for the rest of this week and all of next week accordingly.

"Well, I'd best be on my way, love, if I'm going to make my 11:00 class," Danny kissed CJ and got up from the bed. Danny also had a 1:00 class on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, as well as one class on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons. "I should be home by 5:00 this afternoon. I've got a committee meeting at 2:30. Now let me say good-bye to my other girl." He went into the nursery, spent a minute with his daughter, and came out as CJ was walking to the bathroom.

_4:30 PM PDT_

Danny parked the car in the garage, picked up his briefcase and the flowers he had stopped to buy on a whim for CJ and headed toward the door to the courtyard. Hopefully, in five minutes, he would be in the hot tub with a glass of Angus MacDonald's whiskey. If the gods were truly kind, Caitlin would be napping, Paddy and Maggie would be engaged in a cutthroat game of Candyland®, Destiny would be watching over the two of them, Steve Muñoz would be working on his homework, and CJ would be free to take care of his headache and the tension in his shoulders.

The best thing that could be said about his meeting this afternoon is that it lasted for only an hour and fifteen minutes. He had been honored when the department chair asked him to sit on the committee. ("Danny, I know you're brand spanking new, but I really need someone down to earth to represent us."), but now he wondered if the woman had snookered him. Thank God for small favors, he was in his car and on the way home by 3:55. Traffic was backed up on South Vermont, but it gave him a chance to buy the flowers from a street vendor as he sat through two light sequences at West Adams. Once he got on the Rosa Parks, it was smooth sailing.

Danny opened the door and stopped. The courtyard was filled with children. Aaron and Audra Feldman were sitting at the table by the dining room with Steve, apparently doing homework. Paddy and Maggie were indeed playing a game, but it was Hungry Hungry Hippos ® and they were playing, very loudly playing, with Manny Hammash and Ricky Feldman.

"I do not like them here or there.  
I do not like them anywhere.  
I do not like green eggs and ham.  
I do not like them, Sam-I-am."

Danny looked over to the seating area by the bedroom wing. CJ held Caitlin in one arm. On one side, Hank and Steve's Pamela was pointing to pictures in the book. On CJ's other side, 18 month old Dafna Hammash was sleeping.

"Honey, you decided to go back to work as a day-care provider?"

"Thank God you're home. Hank's Volvo blew a gasket, or something, and Steve had to go pick him up at the shop. Just a minute, sweetie," CJ crooned to Caitlin, who was clawing at her mother's breast. "Then Ary Hammash was horsing around and fell out of the tree. Aviva was beside herself, so Hannah took the two of them to the hospital. Laura's out with a client, Jessica's up in San Luis Obispo with Nancy, everyone else is still at work."

The doorbell rang. It was Cindy.

"Um, I was supposed to stay with Steve until my mom got back later tonight, but he's not home?"

Danny told her to come in and find a place at the "homework table"

Danny sighed to himself. So much for his plans. Not that he was expecting afternoon sex with his wife, but a back rub while in the hot tub and perhaps a nap with his head in her lap would have been nice.

"What should I do first?"

CJ said she needed to change and feed Caitlin, so if he could take over the two little girls. And maybe a snack for everyone.

Cindy told Danny that she had two study halls this afternoon only had some history to read; she could take care of the toddlers. After asking Cindy if she was sure, Danny accepted her offer.

Danny put together some fruit, some cheese, and some crackers on a tray. He got a bottle of juice, a pitcher of water, and some glasses and took everything out to the children. Little Dafna was still sleeping, so he carried her into the nursery. CJ was just finishing up with Caitlin, so they set the two of them at opposite ends of the crib.

"So if you hadn't had all those ideas about Press Secretaries and reporters and we had gotten together back in '99, you could have handled five or six?" Danny asked her as they held each other for a few moments.

"I handled Josh, Sam, Toby, Ed, Larry, and Charlie, didn't I?"

They went back into the courtyard.

Pammy started crying for her daddies, so CJ took her into the family room. Danny settled a squabble in the Hungry Hungry Hippos game by making the kids switch to Go Fish, then made sure that the older kids were doing okay with their homework, pointing out a double negative and a case of subject-verb disagreement in Audra's essay.

Hannah called from the hospital. Wally was waiting for his assistant manager to come to the restaurant to take over, so she had called Joel to let him know what was happening. If it wasn't too much trouble, Joel wanted to come to the hospital to sit with her until Wally could get there.

Hank and Steve got back from the car dealership. Wally had called them and told them to stop by the restaurant to pick up some shish kebab and rice to make things easier on everyone. They took Pammy and Cindy home with them. Hank offered to come back and help with the kids, but just then Diana, Mike, and Carmen pulled up, so Steve and Maggie could go home. CJ and Danny said that they would have no problem with Manny, Dafna, Aaron, Audra, and Ricky.

Joel came by at 6:45 to "get his kids out of hock" and left with the three of them plus shish kebab and rice for Hannah and himself.

At 8:00, Wally Hammash stopped by to tell them that the hospital was keeping Ary overnight because he might have a concussion. Aviva was staying with their son. Dafna was sound asleep and Manny was nodding off, so Danny volunteered to help him get the children home.

As they walked up the street, he noticed the limousine that was bringing Jessica home from the city's general aviation field. Danny also saw Jesse Muñoz walking from Clara's old house, where he was now living, over to Frank and Diana's. Frank was on a one-week duty stint in Alaska, so Jesse was staying the nights with his aunt and his cousins.

On the way home, Danny saw Hank leaving Jessica's. The designer apparently escorted Jessica and Cindy home and made sure that the house was secure. Danny and Hank talked a bit, discussing the upcoming wedding. CJ and Danny would be spending the weekend at the Malibu Beach Inn, where the reception would take place and where the Bartlet bunch would be staying. Rick and Ginger didn't hold a reunion this summer because everyone would be traveling to the West coast to celebrate Nancy and Jesse's nuptials. The other neighbors would be staying at home, but they had leased a super stretch limo to take everyone to the church, then to the reception, and finally back to Santa Monica.

When Danny returned home, CJ was in the hot tub sipping a glass of wine. There was a tumbler filled with an amber-colored liquid on the ledge next to the steps.

"I think we deserve this," CJ said.

Danny didn't need any more encouragement; he stripped and stepped into the hot tub, picking up his glass of whiskey as he eased into the bubbling warmth.

"Oh, Lord, I've needed this," Danny sighed as the water worked its magic on his shoulders, Please keep Caitlin calm tonight, he prayed to himself. Tomorrow was an easy day for him, just the class from 1:00 until 2:15. After running Paddy and Maggie to daycare, he could come home and, if Caitlin cooperated, spend the rest of the morning doing with his wife what he had no energy left to do tonight.

Which was somewhat of a shame. CJ had pinned up her hair but several strands were falling down around her face. The lights around the courtyard caught on the droplets of water on her face, neck, and shoulders, causing her to glisten in the soft glow of the late summer night. CJ yawned slightly and as she yawned, she arched her body so that her breasts just peeped over the bubbling water.

In spite of his weariness, Danny found himself stirring at the sight of her.

He must have sighed, because CJ looked over at him and then down into the water. She smiled and came across his body, kneeling with one knee on either side of him, and kissed him deeply.

Danny returned her kiss, then reluctantly pulled his mouth from hers. "Oh, darling, I wish I had the strength - ." It was said with all the regret in the world.

But CJ smiled and stood up. "On the ledge. Sit," she ordered.

"CJ?"

"Danny. Ledge. Now."

Danny complied.

CJ knelt down again and took him in her mouth. As she worked on him, one hand holding him, one hand resting on the ledge beside his hip, he released her hair from its clip and ran his hands through the tresses. Then, as the pressure grew, he put those hands in brace position, to keep himself from falling down on the tiled surface of the courtyard.

Danny's scream let CJ know it was time to let go, to hold him in both hands as he spewed forth his release.

After a minute, he lowered himself into the water. CJ collapsed on the seat beside him, resting her head against his shoulder.

When his breathing returned to normal, he stood up and pulled on her hands.

"Your turn."

He sat on the next to last step into the hot tub and had her kneel on the next higher step.

It put the juncture of her thighs at just the right height. Danny grasped her fanny and went to work. At first, she braced herself on her hands, then held onto the railings. Finally, as she reached fulfillment, she arched up and then lowered her head onto his shoulder.

After a while, they left the whirlpool. Danny picked up the clothing and handed it to CJ.

"I'll lock up," he told her.

When he entered the bedroom, she was already under the covers.

"Kids okay?" he asked.

"Sleeping like little innocents," she replied with a yawn.

Danny climbed into the bed behind her and adjusted the fit of their bodies.

"Goodnight, honey," CJ said.

"Sleep safe," he replied.

_September 27; Malibu Beach Inn, Malibu, CA_

"Well, after tomorrow, Abbey and I just have Kate and Ainsley to worry about," Jed told the group. "I want to see all my women married off."

"What about Cathy, what about Rina, what about Debbie?" CJ asked Donna. "Is the President beginning to forget things?"

CJ was concerned about her former boss. She had already dealt with a father slipping into dementia; she didn't need to see a father figure follow the same road.

"Cathy and her husband have reconciled and Rina is engaged to one of Helen Santos' agents. Debbie snuck off three months ago and got married without telling anyone."

CJ, Danny, and the children had arrived at the hotel on Thursday afternoon, after dropping off Destiny at the kennel. ("Believe me, Paddy, she'll be much happier staying there with all the other dogs then being locked up in our room."). Josh and Donna, and Carol and David had flown in with Rick and Ginger on the family jet late that night. The Bartlets and the Youngs came on the same plane from Boston on Friday morning. Ed, Larry, and their wives were taking a cross-country tour together and had driven in on the northern route. Kate had come down from Oregon with Will. Sam and Morgan would be flying in from Sacramento in an hour.

Margaret and John Hoynes would be arriving early tomorrow, well in advance of the late afternoon nuptial Mass, as would Ainsley Hayes and Glen Walken, who had just sent out "Save the date" cards for next April. ("I still can't see that," Josh said. "I can," Donna answered.)

On Friday afternoon, the women joined Nancy, her bridal party, and other female friends and relatives in a spa bachelorette party while some of the men joined Jesse's golf outing. (Danny, Josh, and Rick took the kids to a water park).

Carol told CJ that Clara was adjusting well to being a minister's wife and that the congregation was happy that Paul had found someone with whom to share his life.

Ginger and Rick were hosting the party for the group that evening. Nancy and Jesse said they would try to stop by later, but weren't making any promises. (Jesse's parents were holding the rehearsal dinner at Casa Emilio, the restaurant owned by Nancy's brother.)

Tomorrow morning, the women would take turns watching the kids and keeping appointments for hair and makeup while the men watched the college football feeds from the eastern and central time zones.

_September 28; Our Lady of Malibu Catholic Church, Malibu, CA_

"I, Jésus Ignaçio, take you, Nancy Renée, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life."

CJ smiled as Danny lifted her right hand to his lips and softly kissed it. She knew that it was his way of telling her that he was remembering back some six years, when he and she had said the same words, made the same vows, to each other.

CJ looked at Nancy; she was wearing a simple strapless sheath. The fabric was antiqued ivory satin and it almost matched the delicate full-length lace mantilla that had been worn by ten generations of Muñoz women and women marrying into the Muñoz family.

CJ heard a sniff on her left side and turned to see Donna dabbing her eyes with a tissue. Beyond Donna and Josh, Ginger was also wiping her eyes.

Last spring, when Nancy apologized to the West Wing women for not having any of them in her wedding party ("I really don't want a crowd and I'm expected to have my cousins or the family will disown me.") she was told she had nothing for which to apologize. "We're all getting a bit long in the tooth," Donna joked, and CJ and Margaret agreed. Bonnie, Ginger, Carol, and Zoey all smiled and said they had no problems with not being asked. Now that the four of them were seven months' pregnant, CJ understood the reason for smiles. Looking at the altar, CJ was glad to be sitting in a pew. The amethyst gowns worn by Nancy's cousins and by Carmen Muñoz were lovely, but the color was not one that looked good on her.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Nancy and Jesse Muñoz!"

After a prolonged round of applause, the Mass continued. CJ glanced up several rows where Frank and Diana sat, proud of Carmen and flower girl Maggie. She saw Diana wink at her girls as she approached the altar to take her place as an extraordinary minister of Communion.

_Later that evening; Malibu Beach Inn_

"The kids are pretty much all dead to the world."

CJ came up to the table where Danny was sitting with Hank, Steve, Bonnie, Jean-Luc, and the Hollis'. She had been upstairs where the pre-teen children were being watched by members of St. Monica's High Club.

The reception guests were mixing together very nicely. The assigned dinner tables of eight were mixed among the various groups – the Estevez family and friends, the Muñoz family and friends, Jesse's friends and work colleagues, Nancy's West Wing colleagues, her colleagues from the Hollis Foundation and "Road to a Better World", and, of course, the neighbors on the block where Nancy and Jesse would begin their life together.

"And I just talked with Aviva," Hank said. "It's the same back home for the little ones." The neighbors had hired some college women to sit with the kids down the road in Santa Monica. Pamela, Will Rogers, Ary, Manny, and Dafna Hammash, and Aaron, Audra, and Ricky Feldman were all in the Wei house. "The teens are watching DVDs."

"Carmen, Jessica," Steve called out. "Ladies, don't you think you're being a bit premature? Why don't you leave this to those who, if they win, are old enough to act on their good fortune?"

Somewhat reluctantly, the two teen-aged girls left the group of women who were waiting for Nancy to toss her bouquet. (Timmy Jenkins had already claimed the garter.)

"Wait, Nancy! We've got one more!"

Carol and Margaret tugged a protesting Kate into the group that stood at the bottom of the staircase where the bride was waiting somewhat impatiently. As soon as this ritual was done, she and Jesse could finally leave for the little bed and breakfast just up the road. Nancy remembered what happened to CJ and Danny at their wedding; she told Jesse she didn't want to stay in the same hotel as their guests. So Jesse made reservations for their wedding night at the Malibu Country Inn and for a limousine driver who would be able to keep a secret.

"Okay, one, two, three!" Nancy tossed her flowers behind her.

Everyone laughed as the bouquet headed toward Kate, who batted them away as if they were a volleyball.

"Oh!"

No one was more surprised than Andy to find the flowers coming at her. She instinctively held up her hands to protect her face and ended up holding onto them.

The band started playing and everyone watched as Andy and Timmy performed the traditional dance. Nancy and Jesse took advantage of the festivities to sneak away from the reception.

The party began to wind down. The Santa Monica neighbors piled into their limos for their twenty-something mile trip south. The Bartlet Bunch rescued their children from the suite were they had been being watched. Danny told the babysitters, who were staying the night in the hotel, to be sure to set the deadbolts and intruder blockers on their doors.

Abbey pulled Donna aside; they had some last minute plans to discuss. Tomorrow, during the picnic at the beach, there would be a surprise baby shower for Ellie, Zoey, Carol, Bonnie, and Ginger.

"Where's Paddy?" CJ was just finishing diapering Caitlin when Danny walked into the bedroom of their suite.

"On the couch in the other room," Danny answered as he began to roll the port-a-crib in that direction. He turned back to her and smiled. "Look in the side pouch of my bag."

CJ opened the zipper and found that Danny had packed the midnight blue gown that Abbey had given her some six and a half years ago.

The past two nights, they had made love cautiously and quietly, lying back to front on their sides, without removing their nightwear. It would be nice to be less restrained, although CJ had to admit that when Danny pushed up her sleep shirt and slipped his arousal through the slit in his pajama bottoms, the feel of silk against her backside while being filled by him and touched by his fingers was extremely erotic.

Danny came back into the room; CJ noticed that he had changed into a fresh pair of pajama bottoms.

"Change," he softly ordered.

"I hear and obey."

Danny laughed. "Oh?"

"Or I will as soon as you undo my dress." She turned her back to him.

Danny undid her zipper, kissed her back, and gave her a gentle push toward the bathroom.

When CJ returned, Danny had darkened the lights and opened the drapes to the moonlight reflecting off the ocean.

He held out his hand; she walked up to him.

"We renewed our wedding vows; now let's renew our wedding night."


	59. Class Mom

**Class Mom**

CJ/Danny; a little bit of Donna and Nancy; references to others

Rating Adult –

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

_9:45 PM PDT; October 30, 2013; Santa Monica, CA_

Danny Concannon fixed one final typo, saved his file, and sent it to the printer. His lecture for tomorrow was now complete.

Leaving the den, he went into the courtyard in search of his wife. He had been on the phone with one of his grad students an hour ago when he heard CJ say goodnight to Jesse (the two of them were on the finance committee at St. Monica's) and come through the front door. She stuck her head in the door and they blew air kisses to each other.

CJ wasn't in the courtyard and Danny could see that she wasn't in the family room either. He was about to walk toward the bedroom wing of the house when he heard the clang of metal hitting the kitchen floor.

"Damn it!"

Danny rushed into the kitchen to see CJ sucking on her thumb, staring at a pan of cupcakes on the floor. The mess on the kitchen counter included two cake mix packages, a container of chocolate frosting, a big pile of crushed up chocolate cookies, a package of graham crackers, something that looked like a large tube of toothpaste, some more little tubes that looked like toothpaste samples, and two more pans of little cakes.

"Babe? You okay?" He took in the sight of her. There was a white smear on her forehead where she must have reached for an itch while mixing the batter. There was a chocolate smudge on her left cheek. The hand that wasn't up by her mouth had two stained fingertips. Her blouse had a green spatter of icing between her breasts.

Danny thought she looked beautiful.

"Burned myself on the pan," CJ pointed to the floor, then grabbed the potholder she should have grabbed two minutes ago. Picking up the cupcakes, she eyed them critically.

"I hope I can repair them enough that they'll be okay."

Seeing Danny's confused look, CJ added, "for Paddy's pre-school Halloween party tomorrow. I don't have another package of cake mix here. I'd have to go out, ah, send you out," she quickly corrected seeing Danny's look, "for another box. I'd be up until midnight."

"CJ, love, they're just for a bunch of four year olds. They'll be fine."

"Oh, Danny, Danny, it's not just a bunch of kids, it's the other mothers. Mandy Drake will be there. For Columbus Day, she made not one but **three** cakes formed like ships, in complete detail, of course, exactly like the Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria.

"See," she showed him the printout, "I found this idea for graveyard cakes. You frost them and dip them in the cookie crumbs to look like a pile of dirt. You put some of the green icing," she picked up the large tube, "around the edge. You use a graham cracker as the tombstone."

Danny looked at the pan of cakes CJ was holding. It looked like the crowns came off four of them. He saw the pieces on the floor and picked them up.

"Can we just stick these back on top?"

"Danny!"

"Well, Narcissia was here today, so the floor is about as clean as it will get."

"And after she left, you, Paddy and Destiny came tramping in after your walk. I only need twenty-eight; I'll still have four extra."

"What can I do to help? Start icing?"

"They have to cool some more. We can make the tombstones." She picked up one of the little tubes and, squeezing it, made a cross on a graham cracker rectangle. Then CJ put "RIP" on a second rectangle.

"Can I use dates?" Danny picked up one of the other little tubes.

"Sure, but practice first. These little tubes are tricky."

Danny was about to remind her that the recipients were four year-olds, but remembered about the Martha Stewart mother. After about three minutes, he got the hang of the little tube.

Forty-five minutes later, thirty-two little freshly dug gravesites rested in a box top covered with plastic wrap. CJ arms were loosely wrapped around Danny's neck. Her husband was kissing away the little messes on her face. Then his mouth moved to the frosting on her blouse.

"Too bad there isn't any left over frosting," CJ said, sighing in appreciation.

"But those tubes **aren't** empty," Danny replied with a smile. He turned her around and gave her a gentle push on her butt. "Go check on the kids; I'll lock up."

Twenty minutes later, Danny was lying on his back. CJ was circling Danny's nipples and his belly button with the green frosting tube. There were still some traces of the big heart Danny had drawn with the little red gel tube and then licked away on **her** stomach.

_3:45 PM, Thursday, October 31_

Danny opened the door between the garage and the courtyard. He heard CJ's voice before stepping into the central area.

"So, there I am, setting up my little graveyard, when Mandy walks in with this huge three-D pumpkin cake. Apparently, she made two Bundt cakes and put them together, bottom to bottom, did orange frosting, used yellow for the eyes, nose, mouth, filled the center with Hershey's ® kisses, and even made a top with a stem! When I mentioned something, wondering if she got the assignment schedule mixed up, she actually told me that she didn't think I'd come up with something 'special enough for the kids'! I swear, Donna, the look she gave me was deadlier than anything I ever got in the White House."

"Thank God we don't have to deal with anything like that! The White House kitchen usually does all the party stuff. We pay for the supplies and their time. Sometimes, Carol or Rina will run over to the kitchen and make something for the kids, but that's the exception."

Apparently, CJ had Donna on speaker.

Danny stepped through the door. CJ was sitting on a cushion leading Caitlin's hands in a patty-cake motion.

"Daddy's home!" Paddy jumped up, narrowly avoiding stepping on his Lego ® fort.

"Hey, Danny," came the slightly broken voice over the speakerphone.

Danny hugged his son, kissed his daughter, and put an arm around CJ before replying.

"Hey, Donna. You're home early."

"Leo got sick and really wanted his mommy, so I brought him home at noon. There wasn't anything crucial on my State Department plate just now. Josh is upstairs with the other kids right now, giving them baths."

"Wow, both of you home before 7:00. Are you sure you still work for the executive branch?" CJ joked.

"Josh is home early all this week. He and Margaret alternate weeks on the late shift, barring any emergencies. Now, next week, he'll be traveling to Tokyo with the President. My folks are coming in to help."

"Speaking of Margaret, any news on Kiley?"

Margaret and John were petitioning to adopt the eighteen month old daughter of John's second cousin. The little girl's parents had died in an automobile accident. John's cousin (Kiley's grandmother) had been in and out of mental hospitals for the past ten years. Kiley's father's family was concerned, of course, but the grandfather had Alzheimer's and everyone felt that John and Margaret were the best choice to raise Kiley.

"They were granted provisional custody last week. Of course, everyone's giving John a hard time about payback in fifteen or twenty years. He just laughs it off, but you can tell that he's totally over the moon about having a little girl."

"Well, of course he is!" Danny exclaimed. "I'm sure Josh agrees with me."

"Yeah, he does. Listen, CJ, Danny, I'd better get off now, but I wanted to reiterate that we'd love to have the four of you at the beach for Thanksgiving."

"And thanks again, Donna," Danny answered. "Paddy, stop fussing, I'm speaking with Aunt Donna! But one holiday away from home is enough. Paddy, go sit in the den! I'm looking forward to Christmas with Siobhan and Liam on Mackinac. Paddy's never been in real snow. That stuff you guys had when we were there after Fee's wedding was a pitiful excuse for real Michigan snow."

"I know, I'm the Wisconsin girl, remember? But pitiful or not, it's enough to drive this city crazy, as I'm sure you remember."

"Also, I'm in charge of the Giving Tree this year," CJ added, "so I have to be at church for all the Masses that weekend to kick off the whole thing."

"Well, you guys are always welcome, especially after January 20, 2015. G'night."

"Bye, Donna. Say hey to Josh and kiss the kids for us."

Danny tightened his arm around CJ.

"I'm sorry that your cupcakes were upstaged, darling."

"Well, actually, they were a big hit. Mrs. Perfect forgot to bring a knife!" CJ laughed. "By the time she found one, the kids had eaten their cupcakes and the teachers said that the kids didn't need any more sugar right then. We sent the kids home with wrapped slices of cake."

"Speaking of kids, I'd better go deal with our son."

"Danny, he was just so happy to see you. He always is, at the end of the day."

"I know; I'm just going to remind him that when we're on the phone, he shouldn't interrupt us. Nothing heavy. Let me go get his juice and we'll have our regular talk. Unless you need me to do something for you, or Caitlin?"

"Not until you take the kids out trick or treating." Danny, Joel, Billy, and Hank were supposed to take the block's kids around the neighborhood. After the official trick or treating hours, the kids would be left with babysitters at the Hammash house while the adults celebrated Halloween at Nancy and Jesse's; it would be the newlyweds' first party.

Danny hit his head. "I forgot."

"Danny!"

"CJ, it just slipped my mind. And I better make that two glasses of apple juice for now. Save the drinking for Nancy and Jesse's. What will our son be this year?"

"He wanted to be a cowboy; he wanted to put a saddle on Destiny and ride her. I told him that Destiny might not enjoy being around a lot of strange-looking children and that she would stay in the house where it was safe. So he decided to be a pirate."

_9:30 PM; home of Nancy and Jesse Muñoz_

"I thought the Jenkins boys weren't going to be here," Danny said, "but I saw Dick's herbal cheesecake, God be good to him, on the table."

"Timmy made one for the party," Ken answered, "and we have to stop referring to them as 'boys'. They're closer to thirty than twenty. Where's CJ?"

"In the kitchen with Nancy and Diana. Some crisis about the oven."

In the kitchen, Nancy Estevez Muñoz wiped the tears from her eyes.

"God, this is awful! I'm such an idiot!"

"Honey, it's not really a problem," Diana tried to console her newlywed niece. "It's not like there isn't any other food out there."

"And even if there weren't more than enough to eat, it's not as if we're starving to death," CJ added.

The three women stared at the raw boneless rib eye roast sitting on the top rack of the oven. Nancy had forgotten to turn on the oven when she put the meat in two hours ago.

"But I really wanted to make a good impression. It's our first party." Nancy's tears were now freely flowing.

"Look, why don't we cut the roast into strips, string them on skewers, I've got some bamboo ones at home, and broil them? They'll cook in no time."

"That's a great idea, CJ!" Diana exclaimed. "And we can still serve them with the horseradish cream and the mini half pita pockets."

Thirty-five minutes later, Nancy accepted the compliments of all the men ("Wow! Real red meat!") as they inhaled the first platter of grilled beef pockets with lettuce, tomato, and horseradish.

"Well, the real thanks needs to go to - "

"The cow who gave her life for our enjoyment!" Diana said as she and CJ exchanged glances.

Nancy flashed a smile at the two women.

"Too bad Uncle Frank is still in DC," Jesse said (as he took a second sandwich for himself). "He'd love this."

"Oh, I'm sure he had a perfectly wonderful time with Clara and Paul. When he called earlier, he said they were going out for crab cakes."

Frank had been called to the Pentagon for several days of intensive consultation. He would be back at the beginning of the week.

_Wednesday, November 27_

Danny walked into the courtyard, breathing a sigh of relief. The Thanksgiving break was now official. Dinner tomorrow at the Feldman's, and then nothing but family and football for the rest of the weekend.

"Hi, Daddy."

He looked down into his son's face. The eager, welcoming smile was missing.

Danny played with the hair that reminded him so much of his son's mother's locks.

"What's the matter, Paddy?"

"I think Mama's mad at me."

"What makes you think that?"

"Well, she used all three of my names and she yelled."

"I see. She does that to me sometimes, only I have four names." Seeing his son's look of confusion, Danny added, "in about ten years, you'll get to pick another name for yourself. It's called Confirmation.

"Anyway, Mama does that when I do or say something she doesn't like. So what did you do or say?"

"We went to the firehouse today."

"I know. I was here when you and Mama left. Did you have a good time?"

"It was lots of fun! I got to play the siren and jump into the net!"

"Did you misbehave? Did you do something that Mama or someone else didn't want you to do?"

"Well, Adam's mama didn't want us to jump into the net but Miss Susan and Mama and Aunt Diana said it was okay."

"So why is Mama upset?"

"We-el-ll -".

"Destiny!"

A soapy, wet dog came tearing into the courtyard, followed by a half-soaked CJ. Danny grabbed at the dog, getting soap on his khakis. Destiny shook her coat, which got water and more soap all over Danny.

Then Danny took a closer look at the yellow lab.

"What happened to **you**?" Destiny's coat was covered with black spots, some of which were running in the soapy mess. A closer inspection of his wife revealed some black smears on her clothing and her arms. There was even a slight smudge on her right cheek. "CJ?"

"Paddy really liked the Dalmatian at the fire station, so he decided that Destiny should be one," CJ explained.

It was important to present a united front when dealing with their son, so Danny tried very hard not to laugh. However, he didn't think it was all that serious.

"Paddy, you shouldn't draw on Destiny," Danny told his son.

"But she didn't mind."

"I think she did, but she let you do it because she loves you very much. And now Mama has to try to get the black off Destiny. You made extra work, so I can understand why she's a little upset with you."

"It's not just Destiny," CJ said with an exasperated sigh. "Paddy, tell Daddy what you used to draw the spots on Destiny."

The little boy hung his head. "Well, first I tried my crayon, but that didn't work, so I got Mama's marker. But that ran out, so I went to see if you had a marker in your desk."

"My markers are red, the only thing I have in black is my grandfather's fountain – tell me he didn't," Danny looked at CJ with pleading eyes.

"He did. And he spilled the ink all over your desk trying to get more of it into the pen. That's why he was supposed to be sitting in his room, weren't you, Padraic Talmadge Concannon?" CJ turned to her son and fixed him with a death stare.

"I wanted to see Daddy. I love you, Daddy." Paddy hugged his father's leg tighter and looked up at him.

"And I love you. But I expect you to listen to Mama. Go. For not obeying her, stay there until time for supper." Danny pulled his son's arms from his leg and gave him a little push on his butt toward the bedroom wing.

After Paddy left the courtyard, Danny pulled CJ into his arms. "I take it your day was a bit rough."

"Only the last few hours. The fire station was fun. Charlsie Ramirez, Adam's mother, was a bit of a stick in the mud. The firefighters had a little platform where the kids could sit and jump into the safety net. They said that our kids were old enough for it, but Charlsie started to pitch a fit. Susan and the rest of us overruled her. I mean, the firefighters should know, right? They do these tours all the time. Of course, when the kids asked to slide down the pole, the captain said to come back when they were thirteen.

"Caitlin was fine this afternoon; Maristella always has a calming effect on her. She's in her playpen right now, with that caveman doll that Aisling sent over for her birthday. Please God, she'll sleep through the night."

(Last night, and into the wee hours this morning, Caitlin had one of her bad nights, wailing as if the worst tortures were happening in her little body. First CJ and then Danny spent hours rocking her, talking to her, holding her in the bubbling hot tub. Finally, about 3:30, she fell into an exhausted sleep.)

"Poor baby. You, I mean." Danny planted a few light kisses on his wife's eyes. "What can I do?"

"Well, I called Barb Willbond's office and Don, the vet tech, said that I should try to get as much of the ink off Destiny as possible, in case she starts licking at it. It won't kill her, but it might upset her stomach. That's why I was giving her a bath. So, you have a choice, finish giving her a bath, or cooking supper."

"Let me take over bathhouse duties. And I'll do supper. Why don't you grab a glass of wine and take a bath?"

"Bless you," CJ kissed her husband. "I think the fountain pen is still functional. There are a couple of ink stains on the desk, where the spills went over the edge of the blotter. Maybe on Friday, we can call Maristella's husband. Joe might know some tricks about restoring the wood.

_Later that evening._

"Da – da."

Danny was lying on the floor. Caitlin was climbing over his legs, then crawled up to his face. She grabbed hold of his beard as she pushed herself to her feet. (Caitlin apparently learned about timing from her mother. The little girl waited until her first birthday to take her first steps in front of everyone who had gathered to see her smash her hands in the little cake with her name on it.) Caitlin stumbled her way around Danny's body and then collapsed on his chest, planting a very loud and very wet kiss on his cheek.

CJ looked up from her magazine and smiled. She loved seeing her husband and the daughter who had his hair, his eyes, and his features with each other. Caitlin was well on her way to learning how to make her father her slave. Danny was well aware of it, and was succumbing willingly.

"Urf!"

CJ looked over to Destiny, who was acting as a pillow for Paddy. Her black spots were mostly gone, but there were some grey smudges left on her coat. Paddy was softly snoring. He had come to the end of a very exciting day.

After supper, Danny had taken Paddy into the den and had a talk with him about respecting Mama and Daddy's things, especially something as special as great-grandpa Daniel's pen. ("He used it to write speeches about freedom for the Irish people. And **his** Daddy used it for the same thing.No, we can't take Destiny for a walk and stop at the ice cream stand. She's still damp from her bath and we don't want her to catch a chill.") Paddy apologized and said he would try to remember.

"Bedtime."

CJ picked up her son and carried him to his room. Destiny followed them.

Fifteen minutes later, she had removed Paddy's clothes, wrestled him into a pair of pajamas, wiped a warm damp cloth over his face and hands, and tucked him into bed. CJ checked the baby monitor (CJ knew that she should stop using it, but he was her first baby and it was a comfort to know that if Paddy needed them in the middle of the night, they could hear him.), turned off the lamp, stepped over the dog sprawled on the floor, turned on the night light, and left the room.

She heard the sound of rocking coming across the hall, and stepped into the nursery. Danny was giving Caitlin a bottle. He was reciting grammatical facts in a soft voice, using intonations more suited for reading a fairy tale.

"I before e except after c. Never end a sentence with a preposition. The plural of mouse is mice."

CJ laughed, kissed Danny's forehead, and ran a hand over Caitlin's head.

"I'll make some Earl Grey."

Later, they were on the family room couch. Danny had just come back from checking all the doors and his left arm was around CJ's shoulders. She was curled into his armpit. The two of them were sipping their tea.

"What are we contributing to dinner tomorrow at Hannah and Joel's? Do I need to do anything?"

"Just carry over that case of Blanc de Noirs tomorrow." CJ pointed to the champagne from Gina's family's vineyard that was sitting on the credenza. Then she yawned.

"I guess Paddy's not the only one who had a busy day," Danny said as he set down his mug and smoothed the hair back from her brow.

"Well, it wasn't exactly filled with bodice rippers and bonbons."

"Honey," Danny turned to face her and took her mug. "Are you okay with everything? Do you miss the job, the travel?"

"I miss the people, interacting with Nancy, Bonnie, Frank and the others, do I miss the work? Yes. But do I regret leaving? No. I'm enjoying all this as much as I enjoyed the Hollis stuff, as much as I enjoyed the White House. Next month, I get to help with the Christmas pageant. From what Diana tells me, working with the press will have been good practice for dealing with the kids and that working with squabbling heads of state will have been good training for dealing with some of the other parents. And she says that the fathers will be as bad as the mothers."

"Well, for now, why don't you deal with just this one parent?" Danny's hands wandered under her blouse.

"Right now, this one parent is all I want to deal with, 'scuse me," she smiled, swallowing a yawn.

"Then let's go deal."

They walked arm in arm to their bedroom.

When Danny walked out of the master bath, he sighed. CJ had fallen onto her side, right where she had sat down on the edge of the bed three minutes earlier. So much for being dealt with, he said to himself.

Danny undressed his wife down to her panties, then managed to maneuver her under the covers. He stripped to his boxers and climbed into bed behind her. He pulled her butt back against his arousal. Danny decided to revel in the feel of her against his desire before willing himself in detumescence. He was a patient man; he could wait until morning (or maybe the middle of the night).

"You're one hell of a class mom," he whispered in her ear, "but then, as far as wives and moms go, you're in a class by yourself."


	60. Cold Moon

**Cold Moon**

CJ/Danny; mentions of others

Rating Adult – married sex

Spoilers through end of series

Note: in 2013, the December full moon will occur on the 17th, but the timing doesn't work out. In 2014, the full moon will be even earlier – Dec 6. In 2015, the full moon will be on Christmas, but I didn't want to hold off on this scenario for two more years. So, _mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa._

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

_Monday December 16, 2013; 12:45 AM PST; Santa Monica, CA_

Danny Concannon stepped out of Frank Muñoz' car and walked toward the front door of his house. Said door opened and Li Wei walked out of the house. The two men gripped each other's forearm as their paths crossed, with Danny going into the house and Li taking the front passenger seat in Frank's car.

Danny locked and bolted the door behind him, and took a tour of the house, checking each window and door.

He entered the master bedroom. CJ and Yan Wei were on the bed, curled on their sides, their backs to each other. Danny tiptoed through the room, carefully stepping over the air mattress that held Paddy and five year old Mei-ling. He adjusted the blanket that his son had kicked off in his sleep. A slight whimper drew Danny's attention and he turned to the bassinet beside CJ. Caitlin had turned onto her stomach; with her knees tucked under her, her little rump stuck up in the air, demanding to be stroked, and Danny obliged. Then he stroked the red curls on her head.

Danny picked up the little girl and held her against his shoulder. As he played with her tresses, he reflected on the feeling he derived from knowing that his genes were so obvious in his daughter. It was irrational, he knew, but there was something so primal imbedded in him that took satisfaction in knowing that there was no doubt who fathered CJ's second child. Of course, although there were a few joking comments, no one doubted that Paddy was his son. And his belief in CJ's faithfulness was rock solid, even without the birthmark on Paddy's left buttock that mirrored his own. He took delight in seeing his wife's features in his son's face and height.

A little boy and a little girl, both products of the love he and CJ held for each other. He remembered the words Paul had spoken a little over a year ago, when they asked the minister to stand as godfather to Caitlin. ("Any child is a joy, but when God gives a man both a son and a daughter, that man is truly blessed. You take pride in seeing your son become a man, to carry on your name, your maleness, your connection with your own father and grandfather; you take pride as he takes his place in the world and lives the values you taught him; you take pride in his respect for you, for his mother. You take joy in seeing your daughter grow; you subconsciously try to mold her into your ideal woman, a woman who will bring goodness to humanity; you take joy in her happiness, even when it means that you are no longer the only man in her life. Of course, you take joy in your son and pride in your daughter; it's not a binary state. But I am so glad to have been given both, and I know you are also.")

Earlier, in the car, Frank talked about hoping that "things would be settled" by Friday, when Carmen would be going to her first formal dance since her _quinceañara_ last spring. "I keep remembering that father-daughter dinner dance right before Maggie and Paddy were born, how excited she was. She's excited like that again, only it's over some sixteen year-old point guard with sixteen year-old hormones and not over me," Frank laughed. "I'm jealous, of course, but I want her happy, and I don't want this hanging over her happiness."

Danny imagined a sixteen year-old Caitlin, looking much like Aisling did that summer at Rehoboth when his niece experienced summer romance with the young lifeguard, and knew that when the time came, he would be jealous also.

Danny set Caitlin back in the bassinet, making sure that she was lying on her back – the position recommended in all the baby books, at least for now.

Danny quietly checked the windows and made sure that the long dresser was secure against the sliding glass doors out to the patio. He looked up at the sky, at the quarter moon that glimmered in the sky, remembering that four days ago, it was just the thinnest slice of pale yellow.

"Danny?"

He turned around at the whisper. He was too far away to help Yan, eight months' pregnant, get out of the bed, but he did rush over to open the door to the bathroom for her.

"Li and I just switched," he told her softly.

"Anything happened?"

"No, everything was quiet."

"I guess I should be glad, but I wish this were over."

"I know," Danny said. He walked back to the bed and bent down to gently trace his wife's jaw line with his index finger. CJ stirred but did not wake.

Yan came back into the room and got back into bed.

Danny took his turn in the bathroom, changing into flannel pajama bottoms and stripping down to his T-shirt. Then he settled down on the remaining mattress on the bedroom floor and began to calm himself enough to get some sleep.

The first rape occurred the Friday night after Thanksgiving; everyone was a bit more cautious that Saturday. Then on Sunday night, two weeks ago, there were two more cases. By Thursday, there had been three more attacks, and the entire town was in a state of heightened alarm. In the ten days since then, there had been eight more attacks. The police department walked a thin line between providing information to the public and protecting their ongoing investigation; they did reveal that all the descriptions and the DNA left at the crime scenes pointed to a single suspect, a white male of medium height, most likely in his late twenties to early thirties.

The men of the block had decided that they needed to do more than add extra locks to their doors and windows, more than install extra floodlights between and behind their houses. From sunset to sunrise, they kept a very obvious presence outside.

The men decided that the back yards that faced the ocean were easier to watch, and so the families whose homes did not front the hill leading down to the shore road spent the nights across the street. Two shifts of six men each stood watch. A car would be parked at either end of the block on the ocean side, watching the back yards. A third car watched the street. The men who weren't manning the cars slept in the houses with the women and children.

During the day, there was always one of the men sitting in a back yard on each side of the block and someone was on a front porch. None of the attacks had occurred in daylight, but the guys weren't taking any chances.

Danny was able to divorce part of his brain from the other part; from that perspective, he realized that the he and his neighbors had adopted a siege mentality, that they were forming a posse. However, the safety of the women and children were paramount in their minds.

The police, who had of course stepped up their own patrols, were concerned at first, but Frank and Billy convinced the officers that the group was not a vigilante force and were not armed. Should the rapist be foolish enough to attempt anything after observing the watch, the men would use their car alarms and light to discourage him. If it was feasible, they would try to detain the suspect. Between Frank's military rank and Billy's position on the city council, the police did not pressure the men to give up their plans.

Because the Concannon guest room was so far from the other bedrooms, neither Danny nor Li was comfortable with their families sleeping without a man in the room; they had piled everyone into the largest room. (After a few days, Danny found out that the other pairings had made similar decisions.)

Danny felt safer knowing that either he or Li would be in the room while CJ and the kids were sleeping; however, it did wreak havoc on Danny's sex life.

Of course, the middle of a crime spree was not the most conducive setting for romance. The three times in the past ten days that Danny and CJ had found time for a private moment during the day, Danny felt that he needed to make sure that his lovemaking was gentle and caring, that it conveyed a respectful request for permission to use CJ's body and not abuse it, to worship and cherish her rather than to exploit her.

There was a slight sound outside the window in the vacant nursery; Danny sprang off the floor (faster than he thought possible at his age) and went to investigate. It was Timmy Jenkins, going into Jessica's house. The Hammash's were staying with Jessica and Cindy and the two doctors were sharing duties with Wally, who had to be at the restaurant until at least midnight every night except Sunday and Monday. (Heather was staying with Hank, Steve, and Pamela; the live-in housekeeper was staying with family down in Long Beach for the duration of the crisis.)

Danny returned to his bed.

He hoped that the police would catch the rapist before Friday, when he, CJ, and the kids would be flying to Mackinac to spend Christmas with Siobhan and Liam. Paddy was so excited about the prospect of snow at Christmas, but was full of questions about how Santa would know where to bring his presents. Danny had also been looking forward to having a real Michigan Christmas. He had given his three classes take-home finals, and had finished grading the last ones on Saturday. Aside from preparing for the next semester, he was free until the middle of January.

Danny knew that his family would definitely be safer in Michigan, but he didn't want to leave the block at a time of crisis. But then, Drew Robinson would be home from Berkeley Wednesday and would be able to help man the sentry posts. (Radak Dieliczko, at eighteen and a senior in high school, kept insisting that he could help, but the others decided that he needed his sleep for school. However, they did make use of his tackle-build and presence during the day on the weekend.) And, of course, the Wei's would continue to use CJ and Danny's house, if need be, while the Concannons were away.

Danny yawned, and he fell asleep. It was not a deep sleep, as his subconscious knew that the safety of five people and one almost-here baby depended on him.

_December 18, 2013_

The Santa Monica police department announced that the suspected serial rapist was in custody. Several of the victims had made positive identification and the preliminary DNA results were positive.

The men of the block decided that they could discontinue their watches outside and that the "landsiders" could sleep in their own homes at night. However, until "they were sure", Drew Robinson would stay with Aviva and the kids while Wally was at the restaurant, and Hank or Steve would spend the night with Jessica and Cindy "just in case". Danny decided to keep Paddy and Caitlin in the master bedroom with CJ and him.

_Monday, December 23, 2013; 1:45 AM EST; Mackinac Island, MI_

CJ snuggled down into the warmth of the flannel sheets, the heavy woolen blanket, and the down comforter. CJ snuggled back into the more intense heat of Danny's body and sighed in sleepy contentment. It was so nice to be in the same bed, without anyone else in the room. It was so nice to be able to make love without worrying about waking the children. It was so nice to be loved by a man who was not concerned with making sure that you knew you weren't being exploited or attacked.

They had left Los Angeles very early on Friday morning, switching planes in Chicago and arriving in Traverse City in mid-afternoon East Coast time, where Liam met them. Danny had wanted to rent a car ("Especially since we're not flying into the nearest airport; switching planes twice with two kids just doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun"), but Liam insisted that it wasn't a problem to drive the extra sixty miles ("Especially since you'd have to leave the rental at the ferry dock. And then not knowing if the weather will be so cold it won't start back up when you leave. At least ours is in a garage, and we can put it on the heater block.") Paddy and Caitlin had been half asleep as CJ dressed them in sweats before leaving the house at 3:30 AM. (Danny had been counting on that; he had set up and decorated the tree the night before so that it would be ready when they returned from Michigan on the 30th. CJ had UPS'd a few presents up to Mackinac, but they kept the big things at home; they told Paddy that Santa would leave some things in Michigan and some things in California. With Hank and Steve's help, the tree at home would be lit and surrounded by packages when the Concannons walked in the door.)

CJ had enjoyed being in Michigan for Christmas as much as Danny and Paddy. The cold weather and the snow brought back memories of her childhood in Dayton. To be sure, not all the Christmases in southwestern Ohio were white ones, but the ones she remembered, especially the ones before her mother died, were special to her. Sledding with the children, making a snowman, crafting snow angels, and snowball fights filled their afternoons and early evenings. The days were shorter than in Santa Monica, since they were closer to the North Pole ("And at the summer solstice, the days are longer," Siobhan explained), but the nights had been clear so far and the moonlight reflected off the snow cover. Liam and Danny even made an igloo for Paddy. And when Danny surprised her with rented ice skates for himself, Paddy, and her, she taught her son the basics of the sport she once hoped to make her profession. Of course, once Danny and Liam started playing one-on-one hockey, the spins and single jumps held no more appeal to the little boy.

Paddy also found wonder in being able to keep beverages and some food outside on the screened in porch. So far, he hadn't tried to lick a cold metal pole. He did play "Iditarod" with a big cardboard box and Siobhan and Liam's two Malamutes (George and Gracie). Tomorrow, Liam and Danny would take Paddy ice fishing.

CJ and Danny had agreed that, for the most part, Christmases should be spent at home, but she was glad that the family was having this experience. The only fly in the ointment was that Caitlin was too young to remember it. Maybe they would make a similar trip in a few years.

Suddenly, CJ felt Danny's hand move from her stomach (just below her waist) to her breast and felt his lips nuzzle just behind her ear. She turned around in the bed to face him; after the past three weeks, making love a second time within three hours sounded like a very good idea.

But Danny sat up and got out of bed. "Let's go outside," he told her, reaching for her hand.

Danny was putting on a pair of wool socks and a set of sweats. CJ had put on her sweatshirt and socks and was reaching for her sweatpants when Danny stopped her.

"Put on the jumper."

When they had arrived on Friday, CJ had admired Siobhan's floor-length jumper. It was made of boiled wool and seemed to be just the thing for cold winter days. That evening, Siobhan handed CJ "an early Christmas present", which CJ gratefully accepted.

Mystified, CJ followed her husband's instructions, and, after a quick check on the kids in the next room, they crept down the stairs, where they put on their boots, coats, and gloves. Danny picked up a fleece throw and, taking her hand, led her outside.

As Danny led her past the garage toward the back of the property, CJ was reminded of Clement Moore's poem.

"_The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow gave a luster of midday to objects below."_

Earlier in the day, Siobhan mentioned that tonight was the December full moon. "Cold Moon," Liam said. Then he explained that the Native Americans had named each of the full moons of the year.

Danny put an arm to CJ's waist to help her through some of the drifts in the field behind the garage. Finally, he reached a small stand of trees and once they were on the other side of them, they were near the wide open sledding hill. Danny spread the throw on the snow, knelt down on it, and pulled CJ down beside him.

Danny began to kiss her face, gently at first, and then with increasing passion. He removed one of his gloves and tested his hand on his face before slipping it under CJ's jumper, above the edge of her boot and sock. Slowly teasing up her thigh, he reached her underwear and began to slip them down her legs.

"Danny?"

"Call me crazy, but -"

"Hi there, Crazy."

"I just felt we had to do this. Please, Jeannie?"

She was about to make some joke about frostbite when the look in Danny's eyes stopped her. Danny wanted this and making Danny happy had been a major part of her life for almost seven years.

The idea of being with her husband in the open was not new to her. They had made love often outside in the courtyard of their house; they had also made love a couple of times on the deck facing the Pacific. While on their honeymoon, they had made love on the beach of their private little island in the middle of the loch. They had made love outside their northern California getaway. Why did this feel so different? Why did she feel so exposed? CJ looked around. The two of them were the only disruption of the expanse of snow glistening in the moonlight that was almost as bright as wintry sunlight.

But, CJ told herself, this was Danny. This was the man who had spent six or seven hours every night for three weeks sitting outside in the dark to protect her, their children, and their friends. This was the man who gave his space next to her to another woman and slept on a mattress on the floor for those same three weeks in order to watch over his family and Li's family. This was the man who, when he did find time and place to make love with her during that frightening time, made sure that she knew the difference between what he wanted to do **with** her and what the monster that was terrorizing Santa Monica wanted to do **to** her. Danny would not be asking for this if he felt there was any danger to her, physically or emotionally; if he felt that there was any danger to their privacy.

CJ brought her legs together to make it easier to him to remove her panties. She moved her hand to his groin and felt the firm steel underneath his sweatpants. She was sure that were it not for that fabric and the knit of her mitten, she could feel him throbbing with desire for her.

Danny lay on his back and carefully helped CJ to kneel astride him, making sure that her legs were covered. He slipped his erection through the opening in his sweats and helped CJ to lower herself onto him.

The full skirt of her jumper covered them completely. They moved slowly but expertly against each other.

"Is my hand too cold?" Danny asked her. When CJ shook her head from side to side, he moved his fingers to her throbbing little center and began the motions that would eventually bring her to climax.

His eyes fixed on hers; her eyes became lost in the dark blue of his.

CJ stiffened and thrust her core hard against his fingers. He pressed those fingers hard against her and felt her shudder of completion. Then Danny used both hands to keep her hips where he needed them; his thrusts became slightly stronger, slightly faster until he also shuddered and released inside her.

She lay against Danny's chest for a few minutes and he stroked her hair. Then the cold began to seep through the heavy wool of the blanket and the microfiber that filled his parka, so he nudged her into a sitting position, adjusted his clothing, and stood.

The white scrap of cloth that was her underwear had slipped off the blanket and was dusted with snow, so CJ decided not to wear them. She shoved them into her pocket and then, accepting Danny's hand, was pulled to her feet.

They walked back to the house arm in arm. Once inside, they doffed coats, gloves, and boots, and made their way upstairs. Given the hour, they knew they shouldn't use Siobhan and Liam's hot tub to warm their cold bodies; a shower would have to do.

They stayed in the shower until the hot water began to give out, then dried each other and hurried into bed.

When they embraced under the covers, CJ was given ample evidence that Danny was not yet ready for sleep. As she smiled in assent, he reached for a pillow and, slipping it against her pelvis, turned her onto her stomach, covered her body and gently possessed her.

CJ lay there, his hardness inside her, his breath warm on her neck, his hands grasping hers over her head. For the first time, she wished that, without giving up the person into whom she had grown as a result of serving Josiah Bartlet for eight years, the two of them could have come together before they did. She imagined them with five or six kids, most of them with a blend of their features. She imagined his delight as she told him of each pregnancy; she imagined their joy at each birth.

CJ knew that she had been blest beyond the dreams of most people and she thanked God every day for what she had been given, but she wondered.

Maybe it was because of all the new Bartlet babies.

Zoey and Charlie's first child, Marilyn Abigail, was named for her grandmothers.

Bonnie had a much easier time with her second daughter, Erika Marie, than she had with Giselle.

Carol and David named Sean Daniel for her father and for his, but did ask CJ and Danny to be his godparents.

Ginger and Rick added a third girl to their family. Diana Michelle was the image of her mother.

And Ellie and Vic gave the Bartlets another granddaughter – Collette Suzanne.

And at home, Yan was about to give birth, Sally mentioned that she and Billy were "thinking about a sibling for Will", and Hank and Steve were waiting to see if the last artificial insemination of their surrogate "took". And, of course, everyone wondered if and when Nancy and Jesse would make an announcement.

Then Danny moved his right hand from hers, reached under the pillow, and her thoughts of thankfulness turned to something less maternal and more primal.

_Wednesday, December 25; 10:45 PM_

"Merry Christmas, Jeannie."

Danny came up behind CJ and circled her with his arms. There was a small jewelry box in his right hand.

"Danny?"

"Take it."

CJ took the box from his hands and opened it.

"Oh, Danny!"

It was a single emerald cut enhancer-style pendant of imperial topaz. It was set on a thin marine link chain, but the 18 karat gold clasp was large enough to fit over her half inch omega.

"I didn't want to give this to you in front of the others, but I didn't want to wait until we got home."

CJ understood what Danny meant, that he didn't want to upstage Liam and Liam's father, by giving his wife such an expensive present. CJ's big gift for Danny was still in Santa Monica, because it made no sense to ship a new club chair for his den to Michigan and back.

"Look, it matches."

She held the necklace against her cleavage. The stone matched the rich copper silk of the Grecian-style negligee that was in the package that she did open under the tree that morning.

It had been a truly wonderful Christmas, starting with midnight Mass in St. Anne's church. The glow of the candles through the church windows turned the snow from silver to gold. Wonder of wonders, Paddy was not the first one up Christmas morning.("I'm always up early on Christmas Day," Liam said. "I like to sit in the darkened room with the tree lights on and watch the dawning.") Paddy and Caitlin tore through their small packages and then played with their toys while the adults sipped coffee, ate cranberry coffee cake, and opened their own presents. A massive snowball fight took place around noon, followed by naps. The turkey was ready by 2:30, and dinner was served at 3:15. At dusk, everyone went sledding and came back inside for turkey sandwiches, hot mulled cider, and pie.

Danny draped the necklace around her neck and clasped the chain. The flames from the fireplace in their bedroom caught in the stone and flashed off the ripples of her nightgown. The faint red of Danny's hair was also enhanced by the firelight – the hair on his head, the hair of his beard, the hair on his chest, the downy hair of his arms.

CJ slipped her hands under the waistband of her husband's Notre Dame green pajama bottoms and stroked the hair not touched by the glow in the room.

And then emerald and topaz silk lay on the floor as two bodies lay on the bed.

_Monday, December 30, 2013; 8:45 PM PST; Santa Monica, CA_

Danny smiled as CJ set down the champagne flutes by the edge of the hot tub, slipped out of her shift, and into the warm, bubbling water beside him.

It had been a long day, getting up at 6:00 AM East Coast time and leaving a subzero Mackinac Island, then flying to Chicago and then into LAX at 3:00 PM, where the weather was 75 degrees and sunny. Steve met them at the airport with the news that Yan had gone into labor a week or so ahead of schedule and that the Wei's at the hospital right now; Mei-ling was staying with Hank, Pammy, and him.

Paddy regaled "Uncle Steve" with stories of Christmas in the snow; Danny made a surreptitious call to Hank when they were ten minutes from the house. When they reached the house and entered the courtyard, Paddy could see the glowing tree surrounded by packages – larger packages than the ones Santa had left on the island – through the glass doors leading into the family room. The boy ran across the courtyard, stopping only to hug Destiny, who had spent the holidays with Hank and Steve. ("Now Pammy is pleading for a dog three times a day," Steve laughed.)

The moon that lit the courtyard was now in its last quarter. Danny thought back to the beginning of the last two weeks, to the last time he gazed at a quarter moon in the sky above his home. Today, things had returned to normal, or to whatever passed for normal in the human condition. Everyone was sleeping in his or her own house. The only cars parked on the street were those belonging to the friends of Drew and Jill Robbins, who were hosting a party for their high school friends, all home from colleges and grad schools across the nation.

Danny pulled CJ around and onto his lap. He kissed her eyes, the tip of her nose, her jaw, and finally her mouth. With one arm around her shoulders, he traced the line of her hip with the other hand.

Danny urged her to her feet than stood beside her. After more kisses (her neck, the valley between her breasts), he took her hand and led her out of the hot tub.

Danny considered making love with his wife in the light of the waning Cold Moon, a name that sounded as incongruous in the warmth of the California night as it sounded fitting in the chill of an island in Lake Huron. But, remembering that it had been almost a month since their marriage bed had lived up to its name, he slipped one arm around her shoulders, another under her knees, and carried her into the house.

Full Moons:

January -- Wolf Moon

February -- Snow Moon

March -- Worm Moon

April -- Pink Moon

May -- Flower Moon

June -- Strawberry Moon

July -- Buck Moon

August -- Sturgeon Moon

September -- Harvest Moon

October -- Hunter's Moon

November -- Beaver Moon

December -- Cold Moon


	61. Pushing Buttons, Pushing Limits

**Pushing Buttons, Pushing Limits**

CJ/Danny

Rating Adult – mentions of consensual sexual activities; some language issues

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

_June 2, 1014; mid-afternoon; Santa Monica, CA_

CJ stepped out of the car, reached into the back seat for Caitlin, and started up the walk to the Muñoz house.

"Come on, sweetie, let's get your brother and then go home. Maybe we can play in the pool."

"Pa-ee!" 18-month old Caitlin, who idolized her big brother, clapped her hands together. "Pool!" Caitlin also loved splashing around in water, be it the bath tub, the little kiddy pool, or in the big pool.

"Hey, CJ," Diana said as she opened the door. "Any luck?"

"Nothing new," CJ sighed. "Everything looks normal. No physical reason. Nothing on the scans. The usual suggestions – lavender baths, white noise at night, no sugar, no meat, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. "I think I'm about to give in and follow Robin's great-aunt's suggestion about giving her a bit of whiskey right before her bedtime."

Caitlin was once again having troublesome, fitful nights. For a while, she had been fine. So far, they had been to three different specialists; with today's results, all three were at a loss to explain what was happening with CJ and Danny's little girl.

"Well, it's certainly not an uncommon remedy," Diana said. "My grandmother swears by a miniscule amount of tequila. It's a shame that Maristella can't be here. She seemed to have a magic effect on Caitlin."

"I know. These spells started up again about a month after she stopped coming. But Maristella's cousin Liz, she's pregnant with her first and is having some problems. Liz is about the same age I was when I had Caitlin and the baby was a big surprise to Liz and her husband Zach. So Maristella is up in the hills, somewhere near Lee Vining, where Zach has a church."

"Hi, Aunt CJ!" Maggie came tearing into the room and hugged CJ around her hips. "Paddy's in time out!"

"Maggie!" Diana admonished her daughter. "It's not your place to tell her that. Nobody likes a snitch."

Then Diana turned to CJ. "He's in the living room. Let me take Caitlin from you." She reached for the baby. "Ah, _niña_, what could be bothering a beautiful little angel like you?"

Diana did not volunteer what Paddy had done to earn the time out and CJ did not ask. Both sets of parents tried to instill in their children the concept of total honesty; CJ would wait for Paddy to tell her what he had done wrong.

"Paddy?"

"Hi, Mama." Paddy sat in a wing chair. He did not leave it to hug his mother and he did not raise his head.

"Paddy, look at me." CJ sat on the ottoman in front of the chair.

The little boy raised his head and CJ could see the traces of tears on his cheeks.

"So. What happened?"

"Maggie and I saw a bunny in front of Miss Nancy's and Mr. Jesse's house, Mama! A bunny! I went over to see it. What's wrong with looking at a bunny?"

"Nothing. But I don't think Aunt Diana gave you a time out for looking at the bunny. And why wasn't Maggie in time out?"

"We-el-ll."

"Well, what?"

"There was no one to cross us, so Maggie didn't go."

"Paddy, you know you are not supposed to cross the street unless a grownup or a big kid, like Carmen or Cindy or Audra, is there to watch you."

"But if I waited to get someone, the bunny would have hopped away. I looked both ways. If was safe. Mama, I'm almost five. I'm going to be in kindergarten next year."

"And you know that there will be crossing guards to watch the kids who can walk to school, even for the fifth graders."

"But I'm a big kid!"

"So are the fifth graders. And big kids follow the rules. Come on, let's go home."

"What's going to happen? To me?"

"Well, Daddy and I are going to talk about it; you know that. But the fact that Aunt Diana put you in time out already will be taken in consideration." CJ stood up and held out her hand to her son.

_Later that afternoon_

"Sit down." Danny gestured to the loveseat in his den. "Here's your drink." He handed the apple juice to his son.

Danny took a small sip from his glass of Angus' whiskey and savored the feel and the aroma of the pot-still blend as it slowly trickled down his throat. He observed that Paddy did not imitate his father the way he usually did. Instead Paddy just stared into the glass.

"Tell me about what happened this afternoon."

"Where's Mama?" Mama and Daddy always "talked" to him together.

"She's taking a nap; Caitlin kept her up last night'" (And she wouldn't let me help because I had the meeting with the Dean this morning.) "Tell me about this afternoon."

"Didn't Mama tell you already?"

"You know that she didn't. You know I want to hear it from you."

"I saw a bunny, so I looked both ways and crossed the street."

"Without having someone cross you."

"Yes."

"Was Maggie with you?"

"Yes."

"Did she cross with you?"

"No. But she's a girl."

"And that counts because?"

"Petey at preschool says that boys are in charge."

"So that's why you asked Uncle Steve to cross you yesterday and didn't ask Aunt Diana to cross you today?"

Danny had sensed that Paddy was redeveloping a sense of male superiority and was determined to quash it, at least as it pertained to adult women.

"We-el-ll."

"Paddy, you know the rules. You are to listen to any of the grownups on the block the same as if they were Mama or me."

"Yes, Daddy."

"That new DVD you got from Grandpa Jed for your birthday? I think maybe you should wait until Friday to watch it."

Paddy's face fell and he started to protest, but decided that maybe it wouldn't be a good idea.

"Okay. May I watch it when we drive up north?"

"I think that can be arranged. Now, let's go start dinner."

_June 6 _

"We're heading up tomorrow, at the crack of dawn."

CJ was on the phone with Donna.

"And we're heading down to the beach house on Sunday," Donna replied. "For two whole weeks. Of course, we'll both be 'available' if necessary, but it will be the most time the whole family has spent there since we bought the place. And then, in seven months, two weeks, and one day, but who's counting, we'll be there all the time." Donna was really looking forward to the end of the Santos administration and a break, for a while, from White House life.

"We'll be in Albion until the beginning of August. Paddy is so excited, except that he says he'll miss Maggie. Just between you and me, I think Danny is almost as excited as Paddy. Are you sure you don't want to come for a week? We have July 12th through the 20th still open."

CJ and Danny had decided that they could have houseguests every other week while they were up north. The Muñoz' were coming on the 14th and would stay until Friday. (Maggie might stay longer, and go home with Hank, Steve, and Pamela, when they came up on July 2nd. Frank and Diana would decide later, seeing how the little girl did in a four-day stay with Jesse's sister starting last night.) Paul and Clara were coming for a few days at the end of July, after visiting with Clara's son in Sacramento and before spending some time with Derrick in Seattle.

"Oh, CJ, the way that Noah has been lately, we don't dare take him into civilized company. He finds a new way to push my buttons just about every day. Last week, he decided that Mrs. Considine, you know, the lady on the other side of the hall, anyway, he decided that her cat would look better with green fur instead of white. On Tuesday, he used my Valentine cookie cutter to cut out the centers of every slice in a brand new loaf of bread."

"Paddy's been the same way. Diana and Aviva tell me it's normal, that they want to test authority at this age, especially if they've been exposed to older kids at day care or preschool for the first time. So we'd be used to it, if you want to come."

"Lord, CJ, can you imagine the two of them together!" Donna exclaimed. "I think that Labor Day weekend, at Cape May, will be soon enough." (Because Rick was heavily involved in the logistics of the upcoming Democratic convention, he and Ginger had delayed the annual reunion until the first weekend in September.)

"Yeah, I guess. Hey, Danny's back from the airport; I'd better let you go. Enjoy the beach."

"Enjoy the woods. Kisses all around."

Aisling would be spending June and July with them at Albion; but Aisling wasn't company, she was family. Ever since that time in New Hampshire and at Rehoboth five years ago, CJ and Danny considered Ash an almost daughter. Having her in the country for a gap year reinforced that feeling. So when she called and asked if she could spend some time with them ("I need to get away from Scotland for a few months and Ireland isn't far enough. I have a research project, but I can do that from anywhere there's an internet connection or my wireless card can work. I'd be more than glad to help with the kids and pay for my food.")

After telling her that "your money is no good here", Danny told his niece that she was more than welcome to stay with them. Later, he called over to Ireland and talked with Erin. ("Danny, she's holding everything close inside her, but I think there's a guy involved. Thank you for letting her stay with you.")

_June 17; Albion, CA; 5:30 AM PDT_

"Mama, I'm all itchy."

CJ turned over and managed to force open her eyes. She took in the sight of her son's forearms. They were covered with little red blisters. CJ sighed as she recognized the signs of poison ivy.

"Paddy, I don't remember Mama or me giving you permission to come into our bedroom."

"I knocked and I called, Daddy. No one answered. "It ITCHES!!"

"Oh, Paddy!" CJ sighed. "I thought Daddy showed you what poison ivy looked like two years ago. Okay, go into the bathroom; I'll be there in a minute. Shut the door on the way out."

As Paddy complied with her instructions, CJ reached over and kissed Danny. Then she got out of bed and started searching the bedroom floor for something to put on her naked body. As she reached for Danny's T-shirt and her panties, CJ thought that maybe the two of them should reclothe themselves after having sex, especially in situations like now when they had houseguests.

But yesterday had been such a full day. Frank, Diana, and the kids drove up on Saturday, arriving about an hour before sunset. Other than driving up to Mendocino Sunday morning for Mass, the two families spent the rest of the weekend enjoying the pool, hot tub, and deck of the Concannon home. The kids played hide and seek in the woods (but had to stay within hearing distance of the house.)

Late Sunday night, with the kids bedded down (They pulled one of the mattresses off the box spring in the loft in order to accommodate Mike, Steve, and Paddy. Carmen and Maggie shared the double bed in the second downstairs bedroom while Aisling used the single. Caitlin was still in a crib squeezed into the room.) and Aisling inside working on her research project, the two couples stayed up well past midnight talking about the lives they had come to share together.

On Monday, Aisling volunteered to stay home with Caitlin ("My wee cousin and I have a lot to catch up on") while the others spent the day hiking in the woods, fishing, and picnicking. When they finally returned home, nobody wanted much more to eat than soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. The kids were exhausted and quite frankly, so were the adults.

Being in Mendocino County with Danny was an aphrodisiac for CJ, and Danny was only too happy to oblige her that evening; so much so that they fell asleep after the second time and didn't wake until Paddy and his rash interrupted them.

The plans for the day called for CJ and Diana to stay home with the younger kids while Frank and Danny went kayaking. Aisling would be taking Carmen to lunch and sightseeing in Mendocino. As CJ went to treat Paddy with Calamine, she thought to herself that depending on what the local clinic told her when she called them later this morning, it could be a very trying day. If they had to keep Paddy out of the pool, he would probably push her buttons even more than he usually did.

_Five hours later_

"Aunt CJ, where's your list?"

Aisling came onto the deck, dressed in a green cotton sundress that matched her eyes. She and Carmen were about to leave for town and the girls had volunteered to do whatever shopping CJ needed on the way back.

"It's on the counter next to the sink, honey. Add two more bottles of lotion, if you don't mind."

CJ and Diana were on the deck, sipping iced coffees and attempting to read drugstore romances.

"Mama! Paddy splash!"

Caitlin was sitting in her kiddy pool. Apparently, at least today, she still liked sitting in water but didn't like it in her eyes.

The nurse at the clinic told CJ that once the oils of the poison ivy plant had been washed off Paddy's skin, there was no danger of him infecting anyone else. In fact, the chlorine in the pool water would be helpful. Otherwise, continue with the calamine; she could also try an OTC hydrocortisone cream. Assuming that Paddy's pediatrician hadn't previously contraindicated it, giving the little boy some Benadryl at night would help him to sleep. The big thing was to keep him from scratching. Try keeping the lotion and cream in the fridge; it would feel better going on cold. And if anything got worse, be sure to bring him into the clinic or to the hospital.

"Paddy, don't splash your sister!" CJ yelled. Then, reacting to Diana's chuckle, "What?"

"I'm just thinking about everything that's in store for you and Danny over the next five or six years. 'Mama, she's looking at me!' 'Mama, he touched me!' You guys need to think about a three-seater for trips."

"Diana, you forget; for six years, I managed the White House Press room. I'm used to dealing with squabbling brats."

"Danny was a squabbling brat?"

"Danny was the exception that proves the rule. Him and a few others."

After feeding the kids lunch, CJ went to put Caitlin down for a nap. When she came back on the deck, Diana was in the pool playing Marco Polo with Steve and Mike. Destiny was lying in the shade, moving her legs in a way that suggested she was dreaming about chasing squirrels. Paddy and Maggie weren't immediately visible.

Then CJ heard the voices from around the corner.

"Don't scratch, Paddy! You're not supposed to scratch!"

"But it itches so bad, Maggie!"

"I told you it would, but you didn't listen. I told you not to rub it on your arms."

"Padraic Talmadge Concannon!" CJ came around the corner to where the two kids were sitting on the front stoop, drawing pictures in the dirt with sticks. "Did you deliberately do this to yourself?"

"I wanted to see what it was like!"

Suddenly, CJ was very glad that tomorrow, Frank and Danny would be spending the day with the five youngest children while she, Diana, Aisling, and Carmen would be driving down to Elk to make use of the day spa at the Elk Cove Inn. And the day after tomorrow, the two married couples would be having dinner at La Petite Rive. CJ was really looking forward to spending three hours in adult company with adult food and beverages. Little River was only a ten minute drive but it would seem like a world away from hot dogs, mac and cheese, and carrot sticks.

When the guys returned from their kayaking, CJ made Paddy tell his father what he had done. Then they told the little boy to go sit in his parents' bedroom for a while.

"So, what do you think?" CJ asked Danny, her arms loosely wrapped around his waist. "Maybe not let him go to Ethan Amberson's birthday party on Monday?"

"I think the itching is punishment enough, don't you?" Danny kept kissing CJ's forehead. "And that wouldn't be fair to Ethan."

"So now what? Besides **that**," CJ said as Danny's hand brushed against the side of her breast and down her body.

"We tell him that we will be talking with him again. Later. When we can figure out how to tell him to not do stupid things without telling him that he should stifle all of his curiosity. And as for this," Danny sighed and moved his hand to safer territory, I'll take a rain check for a couple of hours."

_July 1; 9:45 PM_

"Would you take these, love?"

Danny handed CJ two glasses of champagne. Then he stripped off his pajama bottoms and joined her in the hot tub.

The couple sipped appreciatively in companionable silence, watching the stars come out in the darkening sky and listening to the sounds of the night insects communicating with each other.

"Everyone's down?" CJ asked.

"Thank God. Caitlin and Pammy are turned at right angles to each other. Paddy and Destiny are spooning on one of the beds in the loft; Maggie is upside down on the other."

Hank, Steve, and Pamela had driven up on Sunday and would be staying until next Monday. In addition to the usual hiking, fishing, and water sports, the two families would enjoy the Independence Day festivities – the "everyone participates" parade in Mendocino, the barbeque at the Fire Department, the fireworks down by the coast – together. Of course, with Pammy turning three this week, there would also be cake and ice cream. And because the children were all preschoolers, some of the activities would not be as intense as the ones with the Muñoz family.

Right now, Hank, Steve, and Aisling were out to dinner. One of Steve's clients had recommended Pangaea to the men. CJ and Danny had heard of it, of course. The restaurant had built its reputation on using locally grown produce as much as possible for its cuisine. However, the Concannons had never been to the place. It was a good hour down the coast in Gualala and the two of them considered it too far to travel roundtrip in an evening. And it was not the kind of place where one stopped on the way to or from their north coast retreat, especially with two kids not yet in school.

When Hank and Steve mentioned it, Aisling immediately volunteered to stay with the three children. However, CJ and Danny suggested that the two of them babysit while Aisling enjoyed the company of the CPA and the studio designer.

CJ finished the last of her champagne (Gina's father's special cuvée) and set her glass on the deck. Feeling a bit warm, she lifted her butt and sat on the edge of the spa. Danny shifted his body ninety degrees, extending his legs on the underwater bench and leaning his head back onto his wife's lap. CJ played with the unruly curls at his brow.

"This is nice," Danny murmured appreciatively. "Kids and furkid asleep. Hot tub warm. No city noises. No city lights. Warm. Dark. Wife naked."

"Husband naked," CJ said as she reached down to kiss Danny's mouth.

"We should do something about all this silence, darkness, warm, and nakedness."

"Race you to the bedroom?" CJ nudged Danny off her lap.

Danny pulled at her hand.

"The moon won't rise for several hours, woman mine. How about some cushions on the deck?"

CJ remembered the night about six months ago on Mackinac Island and smiled.

_July 4; 11:00 PM_

"Look at him sleeping there like a little angel. It's hard to believe that three hours ago, he was running toward the end of the pier like a bat out of hell."

Hank stood next to Danny as the USC professor released his son from the car seat.

"Thank God Steve saw him take off and managed to get to him," Danny said. "I think CJ is still shaking. She headed straight for the house when Ash volunteered to put Caitlin to bed."

The two men looked toward the deck, where Steve and Aisling were carrying Pammy and Caitlin toward the sliding doors.

"Do you want to go check on her? I can get Paddy upstairs," Hank volunteered.

"Thanks," Danny said as he handed his son to Hank. "Are you sure you guys want a second kid? You might get a boy this time."

_July 25; late afternoon_

Danny came downstairs from the upstairs bedroom and set down his toolbox on the kitchen table. He got a beer from the refrigerator, walked into the living room. Thunder cracked and Destiny started up from her place in front of the glowing fire.

"Easy, girl," Danny said as he sat down.

The hurricane that had landed just south of San Diego was working its way up the coast. Now just a tropical depression, it was still dumping a lot of rain on the area and the gloom had induced mid-afternoon sleepiness in everyone except himself. So while CJ, Aisling, Paddy, and Caitlin napped, Danny had decided to work on the squeaking frame of the double bed in their guestroom. CJ had been pressing him to "take care of it before Paul and Clara get here".

Danny found it interesting that while she had just smiled at him, stifling a giggle, when they realized the nature of the sounds coming from over their head when first Frank and Diana and then Hank and Steve were using the room, she was not going to be comfortable hearing the same sounds when her first love and his new wife were in residence.

No one had been able to come visit in the middle of the month, so the five of them had the house to themselves since the guys, Pamela, and Maggie left on the 7th. CJ and Danny had both suggested that Aisling use the guestroom during that time, rather than sharing a room with Caitlin, but Ash said she would rather stay downstairs. She insisted that sharing a room with her little cousin and goddaughter was not an imposition.

Aisling seemed to be good for Caitlin. She spent a lot of time with the little girl, taking her for short walks in the woods, telling her about the plants, the birds, and the woodland creatures. She also read stories from a book of Irish fairy tales to Caitlin. Caitlin's troubled nights had ceased to occur, for which her parents were extremely grateful.

Danny was especially happy that Caitlin was causing them no trouble because her older brother continued to wreak havoc on their nerves.

Ethan Amberson had learned to ride his bike last April and naturally, Paddy wanted to reach the same milestone, so Danny had taken off the training wheels two weeks ago and after a few hours, the trick of balancing himself clicked in Paddy's head.

Following the Ambersons' lead ("Since the road dead ends about two miles up at the Stokes' place, there isn't that much traffic."), CJ and Danny told Paddy that he could ride his bike to Ethan's house by himself but he had to get permission from his parents or his cousin, who would make sure that Ethan was home, that his parents agreed to the visit, and that Phil or Jennifer would call when Paddy got there and when Paddy was ready to start for home. Other than that, he had to be accompanied by a grownup on one of the bikes that the Concannons had bought as "Christmas presents for each other".

It wasn't five days later that CJ was driving back from the grocery and saw Ethan, Paddy, and two fourth-graders tearing down the road toward her at breakneck (at least to her horrified mother imagination) speed. And of course, Paddy's helmet was nowhere to be seen. So Paddy's bike was locked up for at least a week; Danny and CJ were deemed "the meanest parents ever!" for at least ninety minutes.

With the lack of company, the days slowly drifted into each other. They actually lost track of time, missed the past weekend as being a weekend, and they didn't get to church. Sunday evening, they sat outside, read the selections for the day, thanks to Aisling's internet connection, and said a rosary to make up for their distraction.

Living in southern California, CJ's hair had long ago developed sunstreaks and while she used sunscreen everyday, she did sport a golden glow highlighted by a few freckles. The change up north was more internal; she became more relaxed (except for Paddy's adventures). She even discovered a latent talent for drawing and painting with water colors.

For himself, Danny found himself puttering around the house, installing closet organizers, sanding and restaining cabinets, and building flower boxes along the edges of the deck. Stealing an idea from Kelly and Harry Stokes, the older couple who lived at the end of the road, he bought some potted shrubs and flowering plants to ring the above-ground pool, giving the deck a more aesthetic appearance. And, of course, he spent a lot of time with the kids, in the woods, in the nearby state park, and just having fun.

In addition to working miracles with Caitlin, Aisling worked on her research project. She also took long walks in the woods by herself (carrying the cell phone that Danny insisted she keep with her whenever she was off by herself.) Aisling was always the first to volunteer to run any errand or to stay with the kids if CJ and Danny wanted to visit the local taverns and socialize with their neighbors. She seemed cheerful and reticent at the same time and Danny wondered about what was troubling her. One morning, he woke up right before dawn and, hearing a mumbling coming through the bedroom window, got up to investigate. At the edge of the deck, his niece was kneeling on the ground. She was surrounded by a doe and two fawns, a raccoon, and three cardinals. She appeared to be talking with the animals, but Danny couldn't understand the words. A slight shiver overtook him and he silently moved away from the window. He knew, from past experience and from some things that Erin had said, that Ash was a bit fey, that she had a more intense version of the ESP that occasionally visited Erin and Danny, but **this** was definitely something entirely different.

Danny's thoughts were interrupted by a pounding on the door.

When he opened the door, Danny's heart stopped. The logical part of his brain told him that it couldn't be, that the person standing there in the suddenly intense downpour was as tall as he was, was male, and was, at most twenty-five.

But the inky black hair. But the eyes, brilliant sapphire blue in spite of the utter wretchedness in them. But the skin that even though it had been exposed to sun still screamed "alabaster".

"Brianna," Danny whispered throatily.

Even the voice held echoes of the woman who had taught him so much so long ago.

"Brian," the young man said with a slight laugh (and Danny once again heard the rippling of streams in the lilt). "Everyone says that I'm the mirror of me mother, God be good to her, except for the obvious, of course."

Danny stepped back from the door, gesturing the young man to come in out of the rain.

"So what are you doing in the states and how - ".

"Brian."

Danny stopped in mid-sentence and turned to see Aisling standing at her bedroom door, Caitlin's arms around her neck and Caitlin's head resting against her shoulder. Then Danny turned back to Brian; when he saw the look that passed between the two young people, he had the answers not only to his most recent question but also to many more.

Aisling's face initially reflected excitement; then anxiousness took over her eyes.

Brian's face, for two seconds, showed hurt and questioning. Those emotions were replaced by quiet joy and happiness when he realized that the child in Aisling's arms was her cousin and not a secret daughter, no matter how striking the resemblance.

"Brian?" The second time she said his name, Aisling's voice held question.

"I came to tell you, _muirnín_, that I know and I'm ready, but I will be patient until you are ready also. Take your time, but when you know and you are sure, I will be waiting for you."

Brian took his gaze from Aisling's face and Danny realized that CJ had also awakened and come into the living room. Paddy was standing at the railing of the loft.

"Forgive me for disturbing you, all of you," Brian smiled at the group. "Now, if you will excuse me -".

"Wait!" CJ said. "Where are you going?"

"Back to San Francisco, then home."

"You came all the way here from Ireland and intend to turn right around and go back?" CJ exclaimed. "That's crazy."

"Actually, from Edinburgh, ma'am," Brian smiled as he opened the door.

The rain was even heavier. You couldn't see the end of the drive from the front door. You could barely see the little car that Brian had rented at SFO.

"I wouldn't want my husband driving on these narrow, winding roads in this, let alone a stranger who drives on the wrong side of the road. It's a hurricane, for God's sake!"

Well, a tropical depression, Danny thought, but I suppose she is right.

Brian looked at the sheet of water. He was used to rain, being from Scotland, but this was heavier than what they usually got.

"Perhaps you're right. If you would tell me where I might find an inn?"

"You're staying right here." CJ went to the door and closed it. "I'm going to channel your sainted mother and tell you that you are soaked through to your skin. You need a hot shower and dry clothing."

"I don't have anything with me, ma'am. I just made up my mind, grabbed my passport, and got on the plane," Brian answered.

"Call me CJ. I stopped tolerating 'Ma'am' when I left the White House. Danny, get him some sweats and some socks." She pushed the young man toward the bathroom. "Here's a set of towels and a new toothbrush."

"Brian, when she gets like this, the best thing is to give in and do what she says." Danny came out of the bedroom with the garments CJ demanded he fetch.

"So, you and Brian Stewart," Danny said to Aisling while they waited for the young man to get warm and dry. CJ was in the kitchen putting together a spaghetti and meatballs supper. "How long has this been going on?"

"Well, we've known each other since we were in nappies together, but a college mate of his asked me to a dance in late January and we renewed our acquaintance."

"And now he wants more than you are willing to give?"

"Yes and no, Uncle Danny. I'm not yet ready to go to his bed, if that's what you mean. Not that he's really pushed. I mean, he did ask once, he is a lad after all. But he's not ready for the emotional part of our relationship; he needs to get some things clear in his mind before we get married. Yes, married," Aisling said softly as she took in Danny's expression. "Remember, when I was here two years ago and I told you I knew? It was, it is, Brian. But not just yet. I've seen. We will have years and years and years together. I want to get my advanced degree in Psychology and I want to continue my work with Uncle Angus. Brian has to get his mind straight about what it means to be The Stewart, to deal with those who want him to make a fuss about it, to deal with those who want to use him for the advantages it brings, to deal with the rightful responsibility of it without letting it dictate his life, and mine. But he wanted to move full stream ahead, without any pace, and we fought. I needed to get away from all that for a few months. Thank you for letting me come to be with you, Aunt CJ, and the kids."

"Sweetheart, you are always welcome, you know that. Do you mind his staying here, at least for the night?"

"No. I think he has some understanding. Maybe Aunt Sorcha talked with him," Aisling laughed.

_July 23; mid-afternoon_

The storm had cleared out overnight and the weather was once again clear and hot.

CJ and Danny convinced Brian to stay for a few days ("You've spent the money to get over here, you might as well see some of the country before you go back"); CJ called Carol, who talked with David, and the visa work was handled effortlessly and with high priority.

Danny got some sizes and ran up to Mendocino to pick up some underwear, a set of swim trunks, a pair of jeans, and a few other things for Brian.

Paddy was enthralled with the idea of having a guy who was like a grownup but not really one in the house and asked Brian to sleep in the loft with him rather than in the guest room on the other side of the house. The youngest of three children and the only boy, Brian enjoyed the attention paid to him by Paddy.

Over the next few days, Brian and Aisling took a couple of walks and one canoeing trip, but it was obvious to CJ and Danny that while the relationship between the two young people was deepening, they were not going to cross the threshold of intimacy just yet.

On the second night, Brian insisted on taking his hosts and his lady friend to dinner, so Paddy and Caitlin were taken up to the Ambersons for the evening. CJ smiled as she watched Danny enjoying the stories Brian told of his mother.

_July 28; mid-morning_

"CJ, Danny, thank you again. And again, I apologize for appearing unannounced at your door."

Brian shook hands with Danny and responded to CJ's hug. He was heading back to San Francisco and Scotland.

"Caitlin, you are as beautiful as your cousin. See ya, Paddy," Brian said as he high-fived the boy and tickled the toddler's nose.

"Mrs. Reeves, Dr. Reeves, it was nice to meet you. I hope your stay here is as enjoyable as mine was."

Paul and Clara had arrived on the 26th, driving up from Sacramento.

Finally, Brian turned to Aisling.

"I'll see you next month, when classes start, Brian." She reached up and kissed his cheek.

"God keep you safe,_ a leannan_." Brian put a finger under her chin, lifted it, and kissed her mouth lightly and quickly.

The group waved as Brian drove off and then wandered back to the deck after the car disappeared around the bend in the road.

The day before, the "men" – Danny, Paul, Brian, and Paddy – went fishing while CJ, Clara and Aisling found another day spa to enjoy (Caitlin made use of the day care attached to the spa.) In the evening, Aisling and Brian went out for dinner while the others ate the fish that the men had caught earlier.

So for the most part, today would be a day for relaxation and laziness.

About an hour after lunch, Paul walked out of the house with the intention of reading from a new treatise on Chesterton's writings on Christian Apologetics. Clara and CJ had run to the grocery for some things, Danny was attending a USC departmental meeting via conference call, and Paddy, after promising "not to break the rules" had ridden his bike up the road to a neighbor's house. (The previous night, CJ and Danny talked about the way Paddy was pushing boundaries more and more often. Paul and Clara repeated what other parents had told them, that it was to be expected. "The really important thing," Paul told them, "is to make sure he knows that nothing is as bad as lying to you. You have to make sure Paddy knows that he can tell you anything and everything; and, no matter what he might do, you will never stop loving him.")

As Paul turned the corner from the kitchen to the pool area of the deck, he first heard and then saw Aisling. She was singing words he could not understand, probably Irish Gaelic, he thought to himself; she was holding Caitlin in her arms.

Aisling heard his footsteps, looked up, and smiled.

"She's asleep," she said, as she gently laid the little girl beside her on the rocking chaise.

"It's obvious that you have a way with our little goddaughter," Paul replied as he took a seat across from her. "I noticed it yesterday. I also noticed that it was obvious to your young man."

"Well, he's not my young man; not quite yet."

"Oh, my dear, he definitely is. You may not be ready to claim him, but he has committed himself to you."

"I know. But he has so much to deal with before he's ready to be a husband to me. He needs to be patient."

Paul thought to himself that Aisling was nothing like her sister, the young woman who threw herself at practically every available man she met, including himself.

"It's very hard for a young man to be patient, Aisling, when he has found the right woman for him. Believe me, I know. Is it possible that he needs you with him in order to deal with his issues? Forgive me if I'm too bold; counseling is too much a part of my blood," Paul laughed.

"You aren't being too bold; we all need all the help God sends us. If I were to help Brian deal with these things, he might become too dependent on me and expect me to handle everything in the future. It's a tragedy that his father had to die so soon. Uncle Hugh had it down so perfectly and was just beginning to show Brian what he would have to do, what he would have to be, when the accident happened. Now Brian has the advice of my father, my uncle Angus, and of course cousin Jamie, but none of them really know."

"Really know what?"

"How to be The Stewart and all that that entails without letting it dictate his life, our life."

"The Stewart?" Paul was puzzled for a few seconds. "Oh, you mean that Brian is the head of all the Stewarts?" Paul had heard about the Scottish sense of clan, of belonging. From what he could understand, the idea of having family you could claim, family that you could trace for tens upon tens of generations, was very strong in Scotland and Ireland. It was something most Americans, especially African-Americans like himself, didn't have.

"Yes, but that in itself is not really the issue. I mean, Jamie is The MacDonald and aside from periodically writing letters to the hamburger chain telling them to cease and desist abusing the name, giving the first toast at weddings, baptisms, and funerals, adopting into the clan anyone we want to join, and having the final say about our whiskey, he's just another Scotsman with an old title. But being The Stewart is on an entirely different level, of course."

When Paul looked at her without understanding, Aisling continued. "The Stewart is the man, who, if Scotland ever gains her independence from Great Britain and then decides she wants to have some form of monarchy - "

"Oh. That **would** be a lot for a young man to handle, without the advice and support of someone who had had to deal with the possibility himself. And what about you? If you and Brian marry and he were to become king, how do you feel about being a queen?"

"Oh, I don't have to think about that," Aisling laughed. "That will be my great-grandson's wife's prob - ". She stopped and put her hand to her mouth as she realized what she had revealed about herself.

"I'm Christian, I'm Catholic," she said hurriedly, "or at least I try to be. But I also know the beauty of the way God revealed Himself to my ancestors before He sent us Patrick, Columba, and the others, before He sent us His Son. In His wisdom, He has allowed some of us to keep the gifts He gave to the ancients to help us live in His spirit. Do you understand?"

And, somehow, Paul did. In all his years in God's service, he had come to realize that God did indeed create many paths by which the children of Adam and Eve could reach Him.

"So, you have the power to look into the future? How fascinating. And how terrible," he answered as he thought about knowing **everything**.

"Only one or two people in a generation can conjure at will. I just sometimes know things. Some people have it stronger than others; I'm one of those people."

They heard the sound of a car turning into the driveway. Paul's heard Clara's laugh; he remembered how she looked early this morning after they had made love (very quietly) and he smiled.

"Well, my child, I'll be looking forward to hearing your aunt and uncle tell me of your wedding when the time comes."

_11:30 PM_

"I almost hate to see this summer come to an end," Danny said as he changed into a pair of pajama bottoms.

"Me, too. This has been fun, being up here. Both by ourselves and with the company," CJ slipped off her panties and unhooked her bra. Danny admired the view as she walked toward the dresser.

"It has been nice. Clara looks younger with more hair than that boy cut she always had. Do you think she'll grow it much longer?"

"Probably to her shoulders," CJ answered. "He likes having it spread out over his stomach." She rummaged through a drawer, pulled out a cotton lace night shirt, and pulled it on over her head.

Danny started, then realized that CJ had absolutely no idea what she had just told him. He knew exactly, because he also liked the feel of CJ's hair on his stomach and before he could force his mind to another subject, he saw a younger Paul, sitting in an overstuffed chair, his head thrown back in ecstasy, his hands in the silken hair of a younger CJ kneeling at his feet and "taking care of him" the way she had taken care of Danny so many times in the past seven years.

Then Danny shook his head to rid himself of the image and any subconscious jealousy. If anything, he should be grateful that Paul taught her so well.

But he couldn't stop himself from being happy that Clara and her husband were heading up to Seattle the day after tomorrow.

_August 8; 11:15 PM; Santa Monica, CA_

"Well, that was perfectly lovely." CJ said as they entered the courtyard from the garage door.

In honor of Laura's fiftieth birthday, Ken Robbins had invited the adults of the block to dinner. The event had been held in a private dining room at Casa Emilio, the restaurant owned by one of Nancy's brothers up in Malibu.

"Hi, Cindy. Did the kids behave okay?"

"They were fine; no trouble at all." Cindy gathered up her things and headed toward the door.

"Cindy, your money. And wait for me," Danny walked after.

"It's just next door, you don't have to walk me home. And I know you're good for it. I know where you live," the girl laughed.

"Young lady, I am going to see you to your door."

When Danny came back from making sure that Cindy was delivered safely to her house and the door locked behind her, CJ was just coming from Paddy's room. Together, they checked on Caitlin in the nursery.

"Did Cindy seem a bit strange to you, CJ?" It wasn't like her to be so withdrawn and standoffish.

"Probably just a little tired. And maybe a bit nervous about starting at Berkeley in a few weeks, leaving home, her friends, her mom."

_August 13; 3:45 PM_

"You were such a good girl for Dr. Linda! I think we should eat ice cream and go in the pool!"

CJ pulled into the driveway.

"I-cream! Pool!"

Caitlin clapped her hands as her mama came to get her out of her car seat.

"CJ."

CJ looked up to see Steve walking toward her. His hand was on Paddy's shoulder, guiding the little boy toward his mother.

"Hey, Steve. Paddy, what happened?"

Paddy just hung his head.

"Have Danny call me when he gets home."

Steve turned away and headed back to his house.

"Steve?"

The man turned around. CJ had never seen his face so stern, so hard.

"Have Danny call me."

CJ put Caitlin in the high chair, noticing that the almost two-year old was about to outgrow it, and gave her a small dish of ice cream. Then she sat down at the table and turned to her son.

"Tell me what you did."

"Nothing. I didn't do anything!"

"Uncle Steve thinks you did something. Is Uncle Steve lying?"

Silence.

"Caitlin and I are going to use the pool. I want you to sit here and watch your sister; then you are going to sit here until you can remember why Uncle Steve is upset with you."

But before changing into her suit, CJ called Danny at his office on the USC campus and told him what had happened.

Ten minutes later, CJ was just about to get into the pool with Caitlin when the phone rang.

"CJ. Send Paddy to the den. I'm on my way home."

"Danny?"

"The den."

So CJ sent her son to the den and kept her promise to her daughter.

Forty minutes later, Danny pulled into the driveway and came into the house.

He walked out to the pool and kissed his wife and daughter when they left the pool.

"Put her in the crib, or her playpen, and get dressed."

"Danny? What did he do?"

"CJ, we agreed that he had to tell each of us; that we wouldn't tell on him to each other. I still need to give him the chance."

"But this is serious, isn't it?"

"Yes, darling, it is," Danny said. "Let me take care of her while you get dressed. CJ, I need you to trust me, to follow my lead on this, okay?"

Silently, she nodded her head.

Five minutes later, the two of them walked into the den where a very quiet little boy was sitting in one of the big wing chairs. CJ thought about how small he was, in spite of his height.

CJ and Danny sat side by side on the loveseat facing their son.

"Tell me what you did this afternoon, Paddy,"

"I didn't **do** anything bad."

Okay, Danny thought, two times with his mother and once with me. Enough is enough.

"Well, Uncle Steve says different. He said that when Miss Jessica told you to stop running through Aunt Diana's flowers, you didn't listen to her. And when she told you again, you said something to her. What did you say to her?"

Paddy hung his head and mumbled.

"I can't hear you."

"I said she should shut up."

"Were those the words you used?"

Paddy's head moved from side to side.

"What exactly did you say to Miss Jessica?"

Silence.

"I'm waiting."

The words were soft and slow. "Shut your fucking piehole, bitch."

CJ gasped.

"I'm in big trouble."

"Yes, you are," Danny replied. "But first things first. Where did you hear words like that." He and CJ had been very careful to keep such words from their children.

"Friday. When Cindy was here, her boyfriend said them to her."

Okay, Danny thought, we need to talk to Cindy. She knew that when she babysat for Paddy and Caitlin, she was not permitted to have anyone else, male or female, in the house without an okay from the two of them.

"Do you know what they mean?"

"No."

"And how did Cindy react when he said them?"

"She got real sad; she started to cry."

"Did you make Miss Jessica sad?"

"Yes, but she didn't cry. She just said that what I said wasn't very nice. And I didn't hit her face like George did to Cindy." Paddy was trying anything to make the trouble smaller.

Something else to discuss with Cindy, Danny thought. Or better yet, have Steve talk with her about how a woman should expect to be treated by a man. The two of them had a better rapport. Then he and Steve could decide what to say (and hopefully not **do**) to George.

"So you don't know what they mean but you know that they mean something mean,something bad."

"Yes, Daddy. I didn't know that Uncle Steve was in her kitchen and heard the words."

Danny took a deep breath. Jed Bartlet told him this moment would come someday and now it had.

"Come here, son."

When Paddy stood in front of his father, Danny turned the child at a right angle, bent his son's body over his left knee, and brought his hand down hard on the little backside.

Danny lifted Paddy to an upright position and started to explain why he had spanked him, but Paddy pulled away and turned to his mother.

"Mama!" He reached up as if to hug her, pretending to blink back tears, wanting her comfort.

CJ stopped his arms.

"What you said was very, very bad. But you also lied about it to me."

"I didn't lie! Saying isn't doing!"

"Yes. It is," CJ replied.

And CJ pulled her son across her lap. Her smack was not as hard as Danny's was, but the shock of being spanked by his mama as well as his daddy was too much for the little boy and tears did form.

They waited a few minutes for Paddy to wipe his eyes and then Danny told him again that they loved him and would always love him. What he said to Miss Jessica was very, very bad and very, very bad things deserved very, very serious punishment. Then CJ told him that lying about what he said was even worse than what he said and that is why he got a second spank.

"Did it hurt, Paddy?" Danny asked his son.

"Yes."

"Does it still hurt? Tell the truth."

Paddy admitted that it didn't really hurt anymore.

"Now I want you to hit my hand; hit it as hard as I hit you."

The little boy did as he was told.

"How does your hand feel?"

"It hurts."

"That's how our hands felt when we spanked you," Danny told him. "Your butt hurt for a little bit, my hand hurt for a little bit, and Mama's hand hurt for a little bit." He looked at CJ, who nodded her head. "But do you think all that hurt made Miss Jessica feel better?"

Paddy's head went from side to side.

"Do you want Miss Jessica to feel better?" Danny asked.

The little head went up and down.

"What do you think would make her feel better?" This time the question came from CJ.

"Maybe we could by her flowers?"

"We?" CJ asked. "Daddy and I didn't do anything to make Miss Jessica feel bad. Go to your room and get your piggyback."

"But, Mama!"

"Do as your mother says. And, Paddy, don't ever do anything to make us have to spank you again."

The little boy turned around. The expression was CJ's; the inflection in the voice was Danny's.

"I **made **you spank me?"

Paddy's parents managed to stifle their laughs until the child was on the other side of the courtyard.

Ten minutes later, Danny and Paddy ("but that's my bike horn money!") were out the door. Thirty-five minutes later, the two of them got out of the car and walked next door, with Paddy carrying a big bunch of roses.

_Later that evening_

CJ came out of Paddy's bedroom and walked into the courtyard where Danny was sitting. He reached out a hand and pulled her into his lap. They sat in silence for a while, then Danny chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"Just thinking about my father. If he was watching me today, up in heaven, he would have been laughing his head off. 'Someday, Danny, you're going to know exactly how I feel right now,' he would say, right before he burned my butt. And I finally do."


	62. The Benefits of Sharing Knowledge

**The Benefits of Sharing Knowledge**

CJ/Danny; Donna/Josh, multiple WW couples

Rating Teen– one sexual _entr'acte_, maybe language

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

_August 29, 2014; mid-afternoon; Cape May, NJ_

"So, are you ready for this next phase of their lives?" Ginger asked.

CJ, Donna, and Ginger were sitting in mesh lounging chairs, floating in the deep end of the pool, and drinking strawberry daiquiris.

"Joannie, stop acting like you're facing the death of a thousand cuts and they'll stop it soon enough! You know how to manage your father well enough, for goodness' sake. And he's just a bigger version of the boys."

CJ looked to the shallow end of the pool, where Paddy, Noah, Leo, Micah, Matty, and Hoop were splashing Celia, Gemma, Joanie, Giselle, and Clarissa. Once again, she marveled at the way that Donna managed her children. Was there no limit to her skills?

"I really don't see it as that much of a change," CJ answered. "I mean, I know that Paddy will be in kindergarten for the entire day, five days a week, whereas his preschool was really just a half day and only three days a week. But it's the same school, at church, and most of the kids will be the same kids he was with last year."

"But for Ginger and me, our kids will be leaving the White House and going to new situations."

With the upcoming election and the uncertainty, Ginger and Rick had decided that Celia would best be served by not having to change schools in the middle of the year. The wife of the Democratic nominee (the governor of Indiana) had said that she would "by all means" keep the on site educational facilities in the East Wing should her husband be elected. However, Haffley's wife, when asked, merely said, "My husband thinks it's a waste". And although everyone was showing a positive outlook in public, most of those in the know realized that after sixteen years of Democratic control of the White House, it was highly likely that Haffley would win in November. ("We can only hope that he fucks up as badly as he did when he first became Speaker and we can take over again in '19", Rick said last night after dinner.)

For Noah, of course, there would have to be a change, because the Lyman's would be moving to Widewater Beach on January 21, at the end of the Santos administration. In fact, Josh and Donna had seriously considered having Donna resign from the State Department now and moving with the kids before the start of the school year, in order to keep Noah in the same kindergarten class all year. In the end, the two of them decided that they did not want to be apart for five months. After all, Josh's job was not one that ran from 8:00 AM Monday through 5:00 PM Friday, with every weekend off.

"Are you that concerned, Donna?" CJ asked. "I thought that you were happy with the school district."

"Oh, we are. But it's not just the schools. It's the fact that the kids will be exposed to a wider variety of other kids, kids whose parents may not have the same mindset as we do. And I'm not talking money or class. For example, right now we're having a terrible problem with Noah."

"Has his testing of limits reached a new dimension?" CJ and Donna had had several more conversations about the way that Paddy and Noah had frustrated their parents over the course of the summer.

"Well, the Ferreira's - "

"The people who have the entire fourth floor of your building? The guy who coordinates the languages and linguistics faculty at Georgetown?" Ginger interrupted.

Donna nodded in the affirmative.

"Jason is on sabbatical and he, Maria, and the kids are spending the year in Tuscany, and they've sublet to some new official at the Indian Embassy. This family is, to put a word on it, somewhat of a problem. There's the man, his wife, two kids, her mother, and a live-in couple. The little boy, Vijay, is a year older than Noah, and has an attitude that won't quit. He's becoming a bad influence on Noah, and I'd like to keep the two boys apart, but with the politics involved," Donna shrugged her shoulders.

"Can you talk with the parents?" CJ asked.

"The mother and the grandmother, at least, are just as bad. They really think that just because their unit is larger than the rest of ours, they should get two assigned parking spaces, taking away one of the guest spaces. They also seem to think that the garden is theirs. (The first three floors of the building each held two residences, about 2,200 square feet each. The top floor was smaller and the single unit on that floor was about 2,700 square feet. The 900 square foot garden on that level was for the use of all the entire building.)

"For example, two weeks ago, when I was with Nancy at the G-8 prep meeting in Montreal and Josh was tied up with the tele-com bill, Jalisha, the woman who does all the work for this family, came down and asked Nicki if Vijay could stay with Noah for a few hours. Apparently, the mother and the grandmother were off at some distant cousin's bridal shower and Tara, the little girl, was sick and needed to go to the doctor. Well, of course, Nicki said yes.

"Anyway, Vijay comes down with this toy gun that shoots ping pong balls and starts playing 'war' with Noah. Ping pong balls are flying all over the house; two of them hit Joanie, and one of them knocks over, but didn't break, thank God, one of Josh's mother's Oriental vases. So Nicki takes the toy from the boy. Vijay throws a fit and kicks her, so Nicki makes the boys sit in the kitchen and sort through the recycling, pulling off the labels on the cans and bottles.

"When Josh gets home that night, he hears this horrible screaming coming from the place. He opens the door, and the mother is there with Vijay, screaming at Nicki. When she sees Josh, she starts in on him, demanding that Josh 'punish his servant for not knowing her place', for 'stealing Vijay's toy gun', for 'being disrespectful to Vijay', and God knows what else. Somehow, Josh managed to avoid starting an international incident. I'm not sure I could have handled it. Yes, we pay Nicki to take care of our children, but I would never think of her as a servant!"

"It can happen in any situation," Ginger said. "There was a girl in Chantelle's class who acted the same way. It turned out that her parents were separated and that the father's new girl friend treated everyone with disrespect. Once the mother found out, she got the visitation agreement changed. I was shocked. None of my grade school classmates in the Bayonne public schools ever acted as crassly as this little thing did."

"How did you handle it?"

"It was tough. You need to balance keeping your child safe and in an environment that reflects your values, but you also have to let your child know that not everyone has the same values you do. We talked to Chantelle, then we talked to the school. And, as I said, it turned out that there was something that could be done.

"But believe it or not, those are the easy situations. The really hard ones come when what the other parents do, or say, isn't necessarily wrong, just different. How late to stay out on a school night, or whether the kid can go out at all. When to allow pierced ears, whether to allow other piercings. At what age do you allow your daughter to wear pantyhose, or little heels. I tell you, girls, I've had a crash course over the past six years," Ginger finished with a smile.

"But you've loved every minute of it," Donna said and the three of them laughed in agreement.

"I guess I hadn't really noticed any of that. Everyone at home seems to have the same opinions about those sort of things. Or if there are differences, the kids handle it pretty well."

"CJ, you guys don't know how special your little block is," Donna said.

"Oh, we do, Donna, believe me, we do."

"Mommy! Daddy!"

The three ladies looked up at Hoop's cry to see Margaret and John Hoynes approaching the pool area. Margaret had stayed in Washington to be with Matt Santos until the First Family went to Camp David for the Labor Day holiday. However, when Donna suggested that she and Josh bring Hoop with them when they travelled to Cape May on Thursday, John immediately said 'yes'; Brian Gianelli had just left to spend time with his father and his grandparents and Hoop missed his big brother. The Lyman's made a similar offer to Carol and David regarding Clarissa. (Three year-old Rachel Santos was devastated. She wanted to go to the beach with her friends; however, Matt and Helen were hosting an anniversary house party for Helen's parents at Camp David and told Rachel that a lot of her cousins would be with them in Maryland.)

Margaret came over to hug CJ as John helped his son from the pool.

"Daddy! Can we go down to the beach?"

"I don't know. Maybe in a bit; let me check with Miss Ginger?" John answered as he walked up to the group of women, his son clinging to his right leg.

"The surf's a little rough, so CJ, Donna, and I decided that discretion was the better part of valor. Things should be calmer tomorrow," Ginger told the former Vice-president.

"Where's everyone else?" Margaret asked.

"Bonnie's checking on the babies; Morgan felt a little tired and is lying down. You see Nancy in the pool with the kids, along with Bryce and Chantelle. Rick took Danny and Sev with him to get crab and corn for tonight, they should be back shortly. Sam, Josh, Jesse, and Jean-Luc are on the tennis court. Carol and David should be arriving in an hour or so," Ginger counted on her fingers. "Since the three of us decided to laze by the pool and the surf was rough, we let the life guards and the au pairs have the afternoon off."

"I know that Ed and Larry are both involved in campaign planning and that Will is back in Oregon ramping up for his reelection event," John said, "but the others?"

"Well, there's some sort of Bartlet family thing happening in New Hampshire, the three hundredth anniversary of something or another, so that's where all of them are," Donna answered.

"But the Faison's stayed in Palo Alto. Something about Ellie's latest project," CJ interjected as she reached down for Caitlin, who had climbed out of the pool (with a helpful push from Nancy) and ran up with a present. ("Mama! I pretty bug for you!")

"I thought Toby was coming?" Margaret asked. "And what about Kate?"

"Kate is in Oregon with Will. Apparently, the two of them are no longer under the radar and Will decided that he should take the initiative about their relationship before the other side tries to make it something less than above-board," Donna replied.

"And Toby called Tuesday and apologized, said that something had come up at the last minute," Ginger added. "So I think that gets us caught up on everything. Do you want to go up to your room now? Do you need something to drink, or eat?"

"Actually, if we could just go inside and change into our suits," Margaret said, while at the same time, John allowed as how he could use "some iced tea or water and a sandwich, if it wasn't too much trouble."

So Ginger led the couple (with Hoop trailing after them) into the house, pointing Margaret to the downstairs bath and taking the others into the kitchen. Cal and Graciella were sitting at the table while Graciella was icing cupcakes. Cal asked John for the keys to his car, saying that he would get the bags up to the room set aside for the Hoynes. (John told him there was no rush.)

Ginger went out to the back porch where Bonnie was reading a story to her younger daughter Erica and to Diana, Rick and Ginger's latest child.

"Cupcakes! Gimme one!"

As Ginger and Bonnie returned to the kitchen, Noah led the other kids into the kitchen.

"These are for tonight," Graciella told the group. "There are some cookies on the counter."

"But I want one now!" Noah whined and reached for one of the cakes.

"Noah, no," John Hoynes firmly commanded and the boy turned away, but threw Graciella a nasty look when none of the other adults were watching.

Once back outside (with the two babies in a playpen under a canopy), Ginger went over the plans for the rest of the weekend.

"There's deep-sea fishing early tomorrow morning for you guys, if you like, and then hot dogs and hamburgers on the beach, and the beach for the afternoon. Of course, if some of you just HAVE to watch football, tennis, or baseball, I suppose that can be arranged. Tomorrow night is chicken and whatever you hunter-gatherers manage to catch in the ocean. Sunday is play by ear – beach, pool, tennis, golf – and steaks for dinner. Then Monday, it's travel back to the real world."

_Later that evening_

"Move your tail, woman, make room for me."

Danny lightened the words with a kiss on top of CJ's head. He had just come from checking on the kids.

As CJ shifted on the loveseat, the governor of California cleared his throat.

"If I could have everyone's attention," Sam said, standing up from the arm of the easy chair where he had been seated next to his wife. He waited for the conversations in the room to die down. "President Bartlet always said that the women of the West Wing were among the most intelligent and diligent group of females he had ever known. Apparently, you haven't lost that skill in the eight years since he left office. We've noticed the whispers and the looks since we flew in with CJ and Danny on Thursday, so, yes, ladies, your suspicions are correct. Morgan and I are expecting another child next March."

"We'd like to keep it from the general public for at least another month," Morgan said, looking up at her husband and smiling. "I just **KNOW** that Anne Coulter and Michelle Malkin will be all over the subject, saying that we got pregnant in order to sway Sam's reelection bid and I'm not ready to deal with either of those - "

"Bitches."

"Carol!" David exclaimed as his wife helpfully finished Morgan's sentence.

"She speaks the truth," Bonnie said as she came up to hug first Sam and then Morgan.

CJ, Donna, and Ginger looked at each other and smiled. Their suspicions of the past day were correct.

After the congratulatory hugs and high-fives were completed, the eight couples once again settled down in the living room of the big house. The windows were open to the night air and the sound of waves hitting the beach filtered through the conversation.

When asked, Danny reported that the girls were all settled down and drifting off to sleep. "The boys are telling ghost stories and fighting yawns."

With the smaller numbers, Ginger had planned to have only the older boys sleeping together in the big third floor playroom. However, there was some dissension about among the boys about who counted as "older", so Paddy, Noah, Matty, Leo, Micah, and Hoop were all sleeping in the playroom with Brad (Cal and Graciella's son, a student at Rutgers) in with them to keep the guys in line.

Cribs for Sean, Erica, and Diana were set up in the master bedroom usually used by Rick's mother and Chantelle was using the daybed in the small room next to Rick and Ginger's room that usually served as the nursery ("No, I'm not sure if I'm done," Ginger said good naturedly when asked.), so Caitlin and Clarissa were sleeping in Chantelle's room. Bryce was bunking with Sev for the weekend, giving his room to Joannie and Gemma, and Giselle was sharing with Celia. ("We actually have an extra room on the second floor," Rick said. "It's a far cry from four years ago, isn't it?")

After about an hour, Rick reminded the men that 5:00 AM came pretty early and that it might be wise to retire in preparation for "Operation Pescadores".

_Saturday, August 30, 8:30 AM EDT; somewhere off the Delaware shoreline_

"Here you go."

Danny handed the steaming mug of coffee in his left hand to Josh, sat down beside the other man, and took a satisfying sip from the mug in his right hand. The two men stared out over the waves. From the stern of the boat, they could hear the other men as they manned the fishing poles mounted on the railing.

"So," Danny said, "five months to go."

"Four months, twenty-one days, and about four hours, but who's counting," Josh replied with a smile.

"I take it that you are looking forward to the end of the Santos administration," Danny answered.

"I am **SO-O** looking forward, and yet I'm scared out of my mind. I don't know what I'm going to do, Danny."

"I though you passed the bar and had a position lined up with a firm in Fredericksburg?"

"Oh, I do, and I'm looking forward to it. But, after sixteen years of high-pressure, I don't know how I'll react to a quote-unquote normal life. How long did it take CJ to decompress? What was she like those first few days, those first weeks? Give me an idea of what to expect."

"Well," Danny laughed, "she had menstrual cramps the first few days, so I don't think her example is of much help. And I don't think the situations compare, Josh. CJ and I were just finding ourselves, groping toward the possibility of a relationship together, learning how to be a couple. You and Donna have been married for six years, and you have four kids.

"But after the first two weeks, after I asked her to marry me, I think that's when CJ really let go. Those first two weeks were different, almost the equivalent of a honeymoon, only for a 'live-in', not a marriage. But once we moved in Sam's place and I started doing some work for the _LA Times_, CJ totally decompressed. She slept a lot, she went down to the beach, she experimented with cooking. Of course, we had the wedding to plan, and in April, she started working on setting up 'Road'. But we did a lot of fun things, just driving around, doing the touristy things. In fact, it was on one of those spur of the moment drive that we found the house.

"Josh, if I were you, I would tell the firm in Fredericksburg that you are taking two months to reacclimatize yourself to life outside of the White House. Spend time with your kids, spend time with your wife and kids, spend time with your wife, spend time making love with your wife. And, this summer, plan to take a driving vacation. It doesn't matter where you go. You're welcome to come out to see us, but I would recommend a smaller distance at first, maybe to see Donna's folks. Stay in motels, eat in places like Denny's, just be a normal family for a change. Get to know what it's like to have kids fighting in the back seats. Stop to see the kitschy roadside attractions.

"Josh, I wouldn't have traded my years with the _Post_ for anything and I know that CJ feels the same about her years with Jed Bartlet, but the life we have now, our kids, our neighbors in Santa Monica – it's something entirely beyond all of that."

"Hey, I think it's a big one!"

David's voice, brimming with excitement, cut into Josh and Danny's conversation, and the two men went to join the others in the stern.

_9:45 AM; Cape May, NJ_

"Bang! I gotcha!"

Paddy squirted Noah as they ran into the kitchen.

"Not so fast," Hoop cried out as he in turn squirted his Super Soaker at Paddy.

Within seconds, Matty, Leo, and Micah poured into the kitchen and everyone was squirting at everyone else. The boys were waiting for their mothers and their sisters; everyone was going down to the beach.

"Boys!" Cal said. "Stop it! First of all, you are not supposed to be using those toys in the house. Second, I know that you are not supposed to be pretending they are guns. Now, stop it and go outside," he ordered the boys.

"Yes, sir," Paddy said.

"Sorry, Mister Cal," Matty said. "Please don't tell Mommy. We'll be good."

"We're sorry," Hoop said with a charming smile that indicated he was indeed John Hoynes' son. "Can't we forget all about it?"

"Gotcha! No one shoots at me and lives!" Noah exclaimed as he ran from behind Graciella and aimed a stream at Paddy.

"What did I tell you?" Cal asked. "Okay, every one of you. Put those things here on the table."

Slowly, Hoop, Matty, Micah, Leo, and Paddy complied with his orders.

"Noah, put yours on the table, too."

"No!" the boy shouted. "You can't tell me what to do, you're just a crummy servant!"

"Noah Leo Lyman."

All the eyes in the kitchen turned to the doorway. Donna was standing there, with Nancy and Bonnie standing behind her.

"Ut oh," Paddy said under his breath. He knew that when a parent used all three of your names, you were in big trouble. Noah would be in time out for a long time, maybe all morning.

"Cal, I apologize for my son," Donna said. "Nancy, Bonnie, would you please take the triplets with you to the beach? Joannie, Micah, Leo, you listen to the grownups and the lifeguards. Noah, come with me." Grabbing her eldest son's hand, she led him toward the staircase.

_12:30 PM_

"We're starving," Danny said as he led the other men down the steps to the beach, "and those hamburgers smell like heaven. Lead us to them."

"Maybe, maybe not," CJ said, looping her arms around her husband's neck and kissing him. "What did you bring us? You seem particularly empty-handed."

"Rick and David are up at the house helping Graciella clean the catch. There's more than enough for all of us," Josh said as he reached around and took a hot dog from his daughter's plate. Then he looked around. "I seem to be missing one wife and my number one son."

"Noah's in trouble," Joannie told her father. "Mommy took him upstairs."

"Joannie, no one likes a snitch," Josh answered his daughter. He grabbed a hamburger bun and a patty from the grill. "I better go find out what's going on."

Thirty minutes later, Donna came down to the beach. When asked, Donna told Joannie, Leo, and Micah that "Daddy and Noah went into town for something".

_5:15 PM_

"Let's hurry up and get changed," Leo Lyman said as he led the other boys into the big playroom.

"Hi, guys."

Noah was tying his sneakers.

"Hi, Noah," Paddy said.

"We missed you, Noah," Hoop added.

"That was sure a long time out," Matty observed.

"It wasn't just a time out," Noah looked down at his shoe, then looked up with a face that begged for sympathy. "Mommy spanked me!"

"Mommy spanked you!" Micah exclaimed. "For squirting water?"

"For what I said to Mister Cal."

"You can get spanked for saying things?" Matty's eyes grew really big.

"Yes, you can, if they're really bad things," Paddy said.

"I don't want to get spanked," Matty started crying.

"Well, then," Leo said, "we need to find out what you can get spanked for so we know not to do it. We need to share. Matty, go get the girls; tell them we need to have a special meeting right away."

Fifteen minutes later, Celia, Gemma, Giselle, Joannie, and Clarissa had joined the boys (Caitlin was sleeping.)

"Okay, we need to talk," Leo said. "Noah got spanked today. None of us wants to get spanked, so we need to know what not to do. Did Mommy say why she spanked you?"

"She said I tried to make myself better than Mister Cal. She said that just because Miss Graciella and Mister Cal work in the house, that doesn't mean that I can say nasty things to them."

"Okay," Leo said. "Rule number one. Don't say anything nasty to people who work in our parents' houses."

"Don't use bad words to any grown up, especially a grown up lady," Paddy said. Then, when everyone else looked at him, added "Daddy spanked me for saying bad words to Miss Jessica at home."

"Okay, anyone else?" Leo asked. "Come on, we have to share. Do you want to get spanked?"

"Did it hurt, Noah?" Micah asked.

"Yes. When Daddy came home, he said I was lucky, that Mommy was the one that heard me. Daddy said that he would probably have hit me harder. But Mommy hit hard!"

"Well, when Daddy and Mama spanked me, it only hurt for a little bit," Paddy volunteered. "But they said that spanking was only for really, really bad things."

"That's what Mommy said to me, too," Noah added. "Daddy said the same thing later."

"Your mother spanked you too? At the same time?" Giselle asked.

"Daddy spanked me for what I said. Mama spanked me for lying about saying it."

"Well, Daddy would never spank me," Joannie said with a superior smile, "and he would never let Mommy spank me. Daddy loves me."

"My Daddy loves me, too, but he spanked me once for lying about breaking a vase, too," Celia told the little blonde replica of Donna.

"So, don't say mean things to any grown up, even if they work in your house. Don't tell your parents a lie if they ask you about something you did. Anything else?" Leo looked around the room.

"Uncle Bruno spanked Brian for setting off a firecracker in the barn and scaring the horses," Hoop volunteered.

"A boy up the street from me, he tried to set fire to a puppy and his daddy spanked him," Giselle told the group.

"Who would want to set fire to a puppy?" Micah asked. "That's terrible. If I saw someone doing that, I'd hit them myself."

One by one, everyone talked about what they knew. In the end, they decided that some kids got spanked for a lot of things for which their parents only gave time outs. ("We're lucky," Clarissa said.) However, they all decided that saying mean and nasty things to grown ups, lying to parents when they ask you about something you did, and hurting animals were things they should avoid doing. When you got spanked, it was either one or two times. If you did do something bad and you were afraid you were going to get spanked, change into your heaviest jeans or thickest sweatpants, so it won't hurt as much.

"Okay, let's go play," Leo ended the meeting.

_Sunday morning_

Everyone was seated by the pool, eating the breakfast buffet that had been set out for them.

"Ginger!" Graciella came out of the house. "Turn the TV to CNN; there's something you all need to hear!"

Rick grabbed the remote and switched from "Meet the Press" to the news channel.

"- and Kevin, I just confirmed with a bellman at Caneel Bay. Maryland Congresswoman Andrea Wyatt and her former husband, Toby Ziegler, were indeed married last night in a small ceremony with their children, Molly and Huckleberry in attendance. The reports are true."

"Wow! Toby and Andy remarried!" Bonnie said. "That's wonderful!"

"When he said the something else came up, he wasn't kidding," Donna said.

"I don't know why they had to be so secretive about it," Josh complained to Sam. "We could have had a bachelor party, been ushers, the whole nine yards."

"That's probably why they did it the way they did," Margaret laughed.

"CJ?" Danny looked at his wife. She was crying.

"I'm so happy for them, for him," CJ leaned against her husband. "First Paul and now Toby. Now, if I can find someone for Jessica -."

"So, your new career is matchmaker?" Danny kissed the top of her head.

Several hours later, when they were down at the beach, Toby and Andy called on CJ's cell. After the phone was passed around for congratulations, Toby gave CJ some more details. He and Andy had been talking about it for some time. Then Toby was accepted into the Poli Sci PhD program at George Washington, and everything fell into place. ("Just between you and me, CJ, in two years, Andy is going to run for Duggan's seat when he retires from the Senate. We decided that we wanted this to be a done deal, by then. If we're old married folk, maybe my thing with the shuttle won't have that much of an effect on the race. But Andy says she wants this, she wants me, more than she wants the Senate. Can you believe it?" CJ told him that she could indeed believe it, that Andy was an intelligent woman and knew a good thing when she saw it.)

_Monday, September 1; 9:45 PM PDT; Santa Monica, CA_

Danny sighed and moved to his side and then to his back, pulling CJ with him. He felt a slight stirring of air on his genitals as he slipped from his wife's body, thought about pulling up a sheet over them, but decided against it. He reached down with his mouth and kissed the side of CJ's face.

"I always enjoy our times with everyone at Rick and Ginger's," Danny said into her hair, "but it does feel good to be back in my own bed with my own wife."

CJ turned over and looked at Danny.

"Did you guys slip something into our drinks and have a secret wife-swapping party? 'Cause if you did, I gotta tell you, those were the six best ever and I wanna know who - "

"Woman," Danny threatened (but with a smile). "You know what I mean." He moved his hand suggestively over her backside.

"So, Wednesday morning, Paddy's big day. Are you ready to be the mother of a kindergarten kid? Are you ready to let him go one step further into the world?"

"Maybe; I got some really good advice. But right now I'm ready for something else," CJ said with a smile.

And, to his delight, so was Danny.


	63. Frank Impressions

**Frank Impressions**

CJ/Danny; mentions of Josh, Donna, Ginger

Rating Adult –

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

_September 25, 2014; 8:15 AM PDT; Santa Monica, CA_

Frank Muñoz had just walked out of his bathroom and into his bedroom when the doorbell rang.

"Honey," he heard his wife call out, "could you get that? Maggie and I are dealing with a wardrobe issue."

So Frank dropped the towel that was wrapped around his waist, grabbed a pair of jeans, and managed to get them zipped up and snapped by the time he reached the door.

"Hey, Frank, welcome back."

"Hey, Danny, thanks."

Two hours ago, Frank had returned from a three week assignment in Italy at Aviano.

"Hi, Uncle Frank! We're going on a field trip today!"

"I know," Frank smiled at Paddy and ruffled the little boy's hair. Then he looked back to Danny.

"How's CJ doing?"

"OK." Danny glanced at Paddy and then at Caitlin, who had her arms around Danny's neck, with Danny's left forearm supporting her little butt; Frank sensed that Danny didn't want to talk in front of his children. "And we are both **so-o** sorry about all this."

Yes, it had been three weeks since he had been with his wife, Frank thought, but he and Diana had endured separations like these twice a year, spring and fall, for almost twenty years. Frank had come to know this man who had been neighbor for seven years and friend for almost that long. Frank was sure that Danny was having a harder time dealing with CJ's unavailability for the past ten days than Frank was with being apart from Diana for twenty.

For some reason, over the past twenty years, every time Frank returned home from one of his extended absences with the Air Force, it was around 6:00 AM. For most of those years, there had been a preschooler in the house and for most of those years, Diana was teaching; this was to have been the first time in sixteen years that Frank and Diana would not have to wait an additional fifteen hours before their intimate reunion.

But at the beginning of the week, when it became apparent that CJ would not be able to fulfill her duties on the kindergarten field trip today, when Danny began frantically calling other class parents (Danny had an "imperative rescript" from USC's Board of Trustees to attend today's meeting), Diana told Danny that she would fill in for his ailing wife.

In its own way, the long wait for nightfall and the kids' bedtime was an incredible aphrodisiac. Over the years, Frank and Diana had developed little signals, in the manner of all married couples, about what he or she might be feeling at the moment. For example, whenever anyone mentioned something about doing laundry, all Frank had to do was look at Diana and he knew that she was feeling that certain tug from breast to groin; and, of course, when he knew that she was feeling it, he would begin to react, so they had learned to not look at each other if the subject arose when they were in the company of others.

When a still technically virginal Diana was a freshman at UCLA and admitted to her roommate that she "wasn't sure if she ever had one", Sally told her about washing machines. Diana told Frank about it, a few weeks after their engagement and the erasure of the "technicality" in a small motel room down by Laguna Beach("until you used your mouth on me, it was the only way I ever could"); he insisted that they try it together in the privacy of his parents' basement. Sitting on the appliance, Diana was at just the right height and the feeling of the vibration of the spin cycle as it moved through her body to him – the results were very satisfying, especially since Diana was still sometimes having problems "getting there" (problems which amazingly disappeared approximately five hours after her Franciscan cousin Carlos, in front of God, friends, and family, declared them joined in Holy Matrimony.)

Last spring, when he had returned from his three week stint in Izmir on a weekend, Carmen, trying to be helpful, said, "Daddy, why don't I take care of your laundry"? Frank sputtered his mouth full of coffee across the breakfast table, quickly excused himself and left the room.

Many times, relatives or neighbors would volunteer to take the kids "until tomorrow", but the children missed their father tremendously when he was gone, and Frank missed them as much as he missed Diana.

Had they wanted to, there were often several times during the day, especially when the kid or kids at home were young enough for naps, when they could have managed a "quickie", but neither of them would have been satisfied with that.

Of course, as soon as the kids were safely down for the night, it was only a matter of seconds before hard hammering heat met warm welcoming wetness, his fingers between them to make sure that Diana wasn't left behind, and only a minute or so before the first bed rattling, body shattering explosion. Then they would begin the kissing, the touching, the mutual mouthing, the massages, and the murmurings, some in English, some in Spanish, that would end in a much quieter but no less intense, no less welcomed joining.

When Frank was younger, and newly married, he sometimes found himself unable to last the three weeks, and resorted to self-release. However, as a young lieutenant, privacy for such actions was a rare commodity. As he advanced in rank, his accommodations were more accommodating, but Frank had also come to realize that such actions merely relieved aching and pressure, doing nothing for his psyche; now he sublimated and waited.

As for what Diana did or didn't do, she never volunteered and he never asked. If she couldn't wait for him, it meant that he was an extremely skilled lover; if she could and did wait, it meant that she needed his soul as much as his body. Frank figured he couldn't lose either way.

So, when Danny apologized, Frank just smiled and shrugged his shoulders, a gesture almost more Gallic than Hispanic.

"I've survived this long, my friend; I can survive a few more hours. And I must thank you for taking Jesse's place with Mike for the scouting campout. Too many people getting sick around here. Maybe Jimmy or Timmy should test the water."

"I loved doing it and I had a blast. There's something about a hotdog cooked on a stick, followed by a s'more, that exudes total fun. The only problem was that this little rug rat here" Danny smiled at his son "threw a hissy fit about wanting to go along."

Just then, Diana and Maggie came into the room.

"Hi, Maggie!" Paddy greeted the little girl. Then, noticing the traces of tears of her cheeks, "What's wrong?"

"I really wanted to wear my jumper, it's such a pretty plaid, but Mommy says we have to wear shorts for the field trip."

Maggie and Paddy were both in navy blue shorts with navy and green striped polo shirts. White socks and tennis shoes completed the uniform _du jour_ for St. Monica's kindergarten class.

"Ah, _niña_," Frank said, as he lifted Maggie and kissed her, "if you are anything like your sister, by the time you graduate from eighth grade, you will be totally sick of that plaid, first the jumper and then the skirt when you reach middle school."

"Maggie, you look pretty no matter what you wear," Paddy told his friend. He grabbed hold of the little girl's hand.

"I train 'em right," Danny said with a laugh.

"Come on, kids, we need to get to school! The bus for the field trip leaves in a half hour!" Diana hustled Paddy and Maggie toward the door.

Frank reached over to stroke her cheek. "Take care, _querida_," he murmured against her ear.

The two men watched as Diana took off with the children.

"You know," Frank said, "maybe we all should plan on taking the boys with us next month. Make it a father-son thing."

The men of the block were planning to go up to Big Sur for a long weekend at the end of October.

"How about the girls? I mean, I know that the older ones, Carmen, Cindy, Heather, and Audra, would turn up their noses at it, and, of course, Caitlin, Pammy, and Dafna are too young, but Mei-ling and Maggie? Would they feel left out?"

"I don't know about Mei-ling, but, as you noticed, apparently Maggie has picked up this little feminine kick in the past week, so it probably won't be an issue. Anyway, let's talk about it with the others.

"Now, about CJ. Do you need me to be with her this afternoon? What about Caitlin?" Frank looked at the yawning toddler.

"Aren't you about dead on your feet? Isn't Italy five hours ahead of us? Don't you need to rest up for, well, later? Aviva will take Caitlin and Steve said he would check in on CJ when I have to go do my dog and pony show. Hopefully, it won't take too long."

"Danny, I can sit in your house and wait for nightfall just as easily as I can over here," the man laughed easily. "And I flew the first leg and slept some on the plane. It will be no problem. Please, let me do it. What time do you want me there?"

"If you're sure? Showtime for me is 1:00 PM. How about 11:00?"

Frank could see the relief in Danny's posture. Both men knew that Steve would conscientiously check on CJ at least once an hour, but the CPA did have work to do and a three-year old to occupy his time.

"See you then," Frank agreed as Danny turned toward the door.

_Mid-afternoon_

Frank returned to the Concannon family room and checked the score on the game he was watching. (Top of the fifth, Padres ahead by two.) It was a nice day and normally, he would have preferred being on the deck or in the courtyard, but he also wanted to be able to hear if CJ needed him and, after all, he did get to spend some time outdoors near Florence during his off-hours at Aviano.

Fifteen minutes ago, he had heard sounds of stirring from the bedroom and entered to see a pale, mussy-haired CJ struggling to sit up in the bed. Following Danny's (and Scott's) orders, he took her temperature (98.8) and made her take a few pills before fetching glasses of ginger ale for the both of them. They talked for a little bit about Italy, how the kids were doing with kindergarten, once again laughed off the apologies for delaying his and Diana's reunion. Then Frank helped her to the bathroom and back into bed. She was asleep by the time he finished pulling up the covers over her body.

Seven years ago, when the residents of the block first found out that the old Canfield cottage had been bought, and by whom, everyone was naturally curious. CJ and Danny's story, part fairytale and part gossip, had been grist for many mills, from the _Enquirer_ to the _Times,_ from "Entertainment Tonight" to "Meet the Press".

Zelda Canfield had lived well into her nineties, and had managed to stay healthy and aware until the last three months of her life. She and Max had been the first family to move onto the block, some sixty years ago, and never saw the need to do much more than modernize the kitchen, the bath, and the wiring of their little two bedroom cottage. Everyone wondered what the new residents would do with the property.

CJ, sometimes with Danny and sometimes not, had come around several times with architects and builders before their marriage. The DC transplants were unfailingly polite when Clara, the Robbins', the Jenkins', and the others came over to introduce themselves and to welcome the new couple to the block. When CJ and Danny returned from their honeymoon and moved into the cottage, Frank and Diana threw a "welcome party" and CJ shared the blueprints of what she had envisioned. By Thanksgiving and the Feldman feast, CJ and Danny were becoming part of the group and by Christmas and the announcement about the twins, Danny was going to games and to bars with the guys, CJ was dishing dirt with the women, and "Miss CJ" and "Mister Danny" were helping kids cross the street, scolding them for leaving bikes and skates on the curb, providing drinks of water, and checking cuts and scratches for seriousness.

One evening in early April of '08, Wally and Aviva were sitting on the porch with Frank and Diana, and Frank commented how much joy he got from watching CJ and Danny experience what they had so nearly missed due to the circumstances of their lives, what the rest of them had and often took for granted. Frank especially found amazement in the way CJ and Danny dealt with her pregnancy. In so many ways, they were exactly like he and Diana were when they were awaiting Carmen; in so many ways, CJ and Danny appreciated every moment so much more than Frank and Diana could have imagined doing some seventeen years ago.

"It is amazing that I can be so glad for them, in their lives, and yet so grateful that ours has taken a different, more predictable, more sedate path."

Then, when the twins died at birth, everyone showed what made their little neighborhood so special. CJ and Danny's Washington friends and the former First Lady were in the forefront, but the neighbors came by with food to eat, ears to listen, and shoulders on which to cry, and continued to do so when the others had to go back East. The tragedy welded CJ and Danny permanently into the ethos of the block.

CJ's second pregnancy, coming so soon after sadness, and coming a month after Diana and he conceived Maggie, bonded the two couples into a relationship that was special even within the special atmosphere of the rest of the block.

Frank could not imagine NOT being so closely involved with CJ, Danny, Paddy, and Caitlin. Danny was older in years, but Frank was older in experience with being husband, father, and head of household; both men fed off each other. Frank felt closer to Danny than he did to his brother Tonio. When Frank and Diana were weighing the pros and cons of Frank's aiming for another star, it was Danny who Frank used as a sounding board, who helped Frank to see that remaining Brigadier, perhaps taking an administrative assignment with flight school at El Segundo, or even one at Colorado Springs ("but I'd miss the hell out of you, Frank"), if that was the best for the six of them, was not an "easy out".

Over the years, Frank had come to admire and respect Danny even more. It takes a very special man to love and marry a powerful and important woman and Danny was able to let CJ be CJ without ever letting her forget that she was also Claudia Cregg Concannon, beloved wife and adored mother of two. Through "Road to a Better World", the Nobel, and now stay at home mom, Danny loved, admired, respected, worshipped, protected, and managed his wife without making himself seem dominated or domineering.

Again, back in '07, Frank and the other men wondered about the new man who would be living in their midst. None of them considered themselves chauvinists and of the eight married couples, only Aviva Hammash and Angela Jenkins were total "stay at home, no work from home" women. However, only Sally Rogers, a sales vice-president for a regional insurance company, and Yan Wei, a research professor at UCLA, had professions that had more "street cred" than those of their husbands. The guys wondered if the "new guy" would be "Mr. CJ Cregg". However, the block soon learned that Mr. CJ Cregg did not exist. Every time a contractor, a solicitor, or a salesrep referred to "Ms. Cregg", CJ quietly but firmly corrected the person. "It's Concannon, **Mrs.** Concannon." The signatures on the contracts, on the estimates, on the checks read "Claudia Cregg Concannon". The idea of "Mr. CJ Cregg" seemed to annoy CJ much more than it annoyed her husband, and Danny's lack of visible discontent only enhanced his image as a man secure in his masculinity.

It wasn't just the way Danny dealt with the issues of CJ's renown that drew respect from Frank. Frank knew, without being told, that Paul Reeves had played an extremely important part, emotionally and physically, in CJ's early years, and admired the way that Danny accepted the minister back into their lives. Had there been anyone before him in Diana's life, Frank knew that his love for her would have made that fact unimportant, but he could not imagine being friends with his predecessor the way Danny was with Paul.

Now, after seven years, it was hard to remember those early days when he, Diana, and the others wondered about the "celebrities" moving into their midst. Yes, there was the notoriety over the Nobel and over Danny's awards. Yes, there was the excitement when the Bartlets, the Seaborns, the Hollis', _et alia_ came to visit. But just as CJ and Danny had embraced this new phase of their lives, the other residents of the block had adjusted to being known, by first name, by presidents, governors, and other powerful people.

Frank heard the glass door from the courtyard slide open, saw Danny wave toward him, and saw Danny slip into the master bedroom. A few minutes later, Danny went from the bedroom to the kitchen, returning with a beer for himself and a fresh Diet Coke for Frank. (Frank may have slept from England to El Segundo, but he wasn't an idiot; he did not need anything remotely resembling a sedative substance today.) The two of them watched the game for a few minutes (bottom of the eighth, Pirates up by four).

"So, how is she, really?"

"This latest round of antibiotics seems to have done the trick, but Scott and the experts he pulled in say she'll be in bed for at least two more weeks, and won't be back to full strength until right before Christmas."

A few days after the Concannons had returned from Cape May, CJ began to feel sick. She put up a good front for her son's first day of kindergarten, going with her husband and Frank and Diana to the school, sitting through the opening Mass, and then wiping away a tear as Paddy pulled away from her hug and ran to join the other kids in a circle around Miss Miranda in the courtyard outside the classroom building. But by the next morning, she was hacking and wheezing, discharging an ugly brown mucus, alternating between bone rattling chills and sheet drenching fever.

Scott Winkler prescribed a course of penicillin; when that didn't work, he tried something stronger. By that time, reports from the East indicated that this was something that she and several others had picked up when the Bartlet Bunch was gathered at the shore and that it was not your run of the mill virus. Scott arranged for someone else to check out CJ's cultures, and the woman put CJ in the hospital for two nights, where round the clock monitoring and IV medicines finally defeated the nasty infection. But CJ was still sleeping nineteen or twenty hours out of twenty-four, still taking in only liquids, scrambled eggs, Jell-O ®, and maybe a baked potato. She couldn't take care of herself, much less the kids. It was the start of the academic year and Danny needed to not miss any class time. He needed to set the theme for the rest of the semester. Maristella was still up in Lee Vining, with Liz, Zach, and their baby John. Lupé was about to visit her cousin Beth, who was also an "eldery, first time pregnancy". Scott had given Danny the names of several other home nurses who might be able to help; so far, he had had no luck finding one who could spend the time needed with his wife.

But, as usual, everyone on the block was pitching in to help and Frank would be no exception.

"And the others?"

"Graciella is still hospitalized, in ICU. Mrs. Vinick went back to Jersey to be with her. She and Cal have been with the family for almost thirty years. She was worsening, but now she's holding her own – happened right after they anointed her. And, believe me, hearing that they were doing that, even though they no longer call it Last Rites, it was all I could do not to lose it in front of CJ and the kids," Danny's voice broke slightly, then he recovered. "According to Ginger, Cal hasn't left her side, except to wash up, for the duration. Rick says he doesn't know how Cal would ever deal with losing his wife.

"For Carol, it really wasn't much more than a very bad cold with bronchitis. She should be back to work in two weeks. Leo Lyman is out of PICU, but they're keeping him in the hospital for another week. Josh says it's more for his and Donna's sake, with the other kids and all. When Josh called last night, the relief in his voice was so, so – "

"Much like the relief in yours, my friend," Frank said.

At that point, Danny did break down.

"Frank, it never seems to get better. I mean, first, when we lost the boys, and I didn't know what was happening, if it meant something wrong with her as well as the boys. Then, the scare with her breasts. Things were a bit rough between us right before the bombing at Camden Yards, and if she had gone to that with the tension between us and if – I ," Danny couldn't finish the thought. "Two years ago, with Caitlin, when I found out afterward what she kept from me, it was like with the kids, wanting to hug and spank at the same time. Not that I've **EVER**," Danny added quickly.

Frank threw him a look that said, "Of course you've never hit your wife. Neither have I hit mine. We aren't my older brother."

Then Frank stretched his arm across the space between the two of them and the two men locked fingers around each other's wrist.

"It won't ever get better. As the years go by and love grows stronger, so does the fear when something happens. In all seriousness, Danny, would you **want** it to matter less to you as time goes by? And, by the way, it's the same with the kids. If my folks are any indication, you will be worrying about Paddy when he's thirty-five and he and Maggie are giving the four of us grandchildren."

Both men laughed a bit as was the custom when the Concannons and the Muñoz' talked about the totally age appropriate but extremely intense relationship between their kids.

Frank's cell rang. The tone was the one he had assigned to his older daughter.

"Daddy? Mike, Steve, and I are here."

(Because the field trip would keep Paddy, Maggie, and Diana away longer than the normal school day, Carmen had been entrusted with not only driving herself to St. Monica's High, but also with transporting her brothers to the grade school. She was calling, not only because the three of them wanted to see their father, but also because she wanted to reinforce in her parents the fact that she could be trusted with such a responsibility. After all, she was sixteen, and being driven to school in a car pool with little kids was **so-o-o** lame.)

"My kids are home," Frank told Danny, and got up to leave. Danny walked with the other man across the courtyard and to the front door.

"You know that Jessica's throwing a welcome back party for you Saturday night," Danny mentioned.

Frank nodded in assent.

"Thanks again for everything," Danny said.

Frank reached out and grabbed the other man in a one-armed hug. Words were not needed.

_9:45 PM_

Frank swished the mouthwash, spit, and then rang his fingers through his hair. As he turned to the master bathroom door, he heard the door from the hall to the bedroom open and close.

"Maggie and the boys are down; Carmen is reading "Hamlet" in bed," Diana said and smiled at him.

He was rock hard and ready to burst; he extended his hand to his wife and she was in his arms. Mouth devoured mouth as hands shoved down underwear. (His also lifted a T-shirt and opened a bra.)

Ten minutes later, they were down from their high and were beginning the climb a second time. Words and kisses came from his mouth - "_Querida_". "Beloved." "My woman." "So sweet". But words also came to his ears. "Fill me." "I love you." _"Mi corazon."_ And then, the sweetest sound of all – "Oh, God, Fran-**keeeeEE**!

His long wait over, Frank Muñoz said a prayer for his friend Danny, that his wait would also soon be a thing of the past.


	64. First and Foremost

**First and Foremost**

CJ/Danny; Donna; mentions of others

Rating Teen – mentions of sex but no actual description

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

_October 24, 2014; mid-afternoon; Santa Monica, CA_

CJ had just stepped out of the shower when the phone rang.

"Hey, CJ."

CJ smiled as she recognized Donna's voice.

"Backacha," CJH said as she balanced the phone between her left ear and left shoulder, pulled the robe over her right shoulder, and then switched sides in order to cover the left side of her body. "Whacha doing?"

"The kids and I came down here earlier today. Josh just left the White House. He should be here in an hour and a half. Margaret's holding down the White House until Tuesday."

"So you're at the beach until Monday afternoon?"

"Actually, since I have Tuesday off as well, Josh is going to get up at half past awful on Tuesday morning and I'll drive back about noon."

CJ sat on one of the chairs in the master bedroom.

"You can manage all four kids by yourself now? The squabbling and all?"

"Combination of terroristic threats and bribing," Donna laughed. "I told them that supper tonight would either be pizza or tuna-noodle casserole, depending on how they behaved on the drive down. We just finished the pizza. And, depending on my report of their behavior this evening, they will either spend tomorrow down by the water with Josh or helping me with housework up here. Also, I think they're still a bit affected by Leo's illness. Josh and I tried to keep our fears and worries from the other kids, but there's such a closeness, almost a mental connection, between them – and it's not just the trips, Noah is bound to the three of them just as much as they are to each other – that I think they know how serious it was."

CJ detected the slight tremor in Donna's voice.

"I can't imagine what you must have gone through, Donna. I get upset when Paddy or Caitlin skin a knee or complain of a tummy ache. But to have a child in PICU – I just wish I could have been there for you, at least on the phone."

"CJ, you were in no shape to worry about me and my child, you were fighting for your own life. The past seven weeks haven't been easy for the lot of us."

"True enough," CJ replied. "We've all been lucky. I understand that Graciella's had a relapse, but nowhere near as serious as the first time around. What was the final death toll, four?"

"That's right. Two elderly women, both over eighty, one six year old boy, and a young man who had recently been diagnosed HIV positive. We were damned lucky."

"That we were, thank God. So, changing the subject, what's the latest on everyone for after the Inauguration?"

Everyone was making plans ("or maybe 'non-plans' is a better way to say it," Donna laughed) for after Haffley's inauguration. (No one expected the Democrats to win the White House this year. Everyone was resting their hopes on the House and Senate and looking toward 2018.)

Margaret, John, and the boys were going to Texas, to the ranch. The Hoynes' had worked out a schedule with Bruno Gianelli that was satisfactory to everyone, including Bruno's parents in Florida. Both boys were very excited about the move, talking about horses, campouts, puppies, kittens, and cattle drives almost nonstop. Margaret was looking forward to several months of not having to wear heels and hose. She wasn't sure how she would adjust to life outside the "big city," but told Donna that she and John were open to the idea of another child. ("Margaret said that it was really hard losing custody of Kiley. No one had any idea that John's second cousin and her husband adopted the little girl on the black market. And once they found out, the idea that a judge would give Kiley back to the birth mother who sold her to the highest bidder – well, the judge was a Republican. In any event, she and John decided that they want to try for another child of their own. They quote-unquote 'pulled the goalie' last week.")

And, of course, Donna knew that CJ knew that the Santos' would be going to work for Franklin Hollis "after a decent amount of downtime." Helen had reluctantly agreed that the family could not go back to the same neighborhood in Houston. She and Matt had kept the house as their official residence (allowing Matt's second cousin and her husband to live there) for eight years, but had rarely visited. Even the reduced presence that the Secret Service felt necessary for former presidents would be too much of an imposition for the block. Instead, Matt had arranged to buy back some ancestral land northwest of the city and they would build something that was pleasing to them and to the detail charged with their protection. They would also find something similar in San Luis Obispo, in the same area where Frank and Sarita lived.

According to State Department gossip, Will Bailey had recommended that the University of Oregon offer a teaching position to Kate Harper. Rick took Will aside and told him that, if he wanted to move beyond a somewhat liberal House seat in Oregon, the two of them would have to take their relationship to a legal one or drop it. If Will wanted to move up to the national level, he could not continue to live with Kate without benefit of clergy. Nancy McNally was being pursued by Harvard, Penn, and Stanford. Apparently, she was also being pursued by her Canadian counterpart, a very handsome widower from Quebec.

Rina and Cathy would, in all likelihood, land in the DCCC somewhere. Both women wanted to continue working in Washington, even as part of the loyal opposition. Rick and Ginger would, of course, continue on as usual and Liz Bartlet was going back to New Hampshire to prepare to run for her father's old seat in two years.

The only one with issues about the future was Carol. Apparently, Carol really wanted to stay home with Clarissa and Sean rather than find another position outside the house. David's career position with the State Department was secure, and he wanted to be able to give her the option of staying home, but he was also terrified of being the sole support for the four of them. If Haffley tried to slow down planned raises, the Palmers would be dangerously close to living beyond their means, especially if their property taxes or homeowners' insurance were to rise at the same time.

"David has always been conservative and cautious," Donna confided. "He waited until he could afford a good down payment on the condo and until he could pay cash for Carol's ring before proposing. I know that when he couldn't bring himself to take out a 95 percent loan in order to get the Fitzwallace place, it killed him. Carol really loved the place and I think she had a hard time accepting that. It's a shame that Mrs. Fitzwallace had to sell right away, not that I begrudge her the happiness she's found with her new husband. With the inheritance that Carol got from her mother's cousin Elsie, she and David should have been able to afford Laura and Fitz' place. As it is, with that money, the two of them were able to put down almost 45 percent on their house, but David was still apprehensive. Carol, on the other hand, felt guilty about wanting the same "non-working" lifestyle that Margaret, Ginger, and you, CH, were either living or about to be living. She didn't want David to think that she felt that David wasn't up to the same standard as the other men. Anyway, the Palmers are in counseling with your Paul about the whole situation."

"Well, at least they are seeking help from the best," CJ said. "Do you think I should call her?"

"Call but don't bring up anything about this," Donna advised. "She does feel self-conscious about the whole mess. I think the only reason she talks to me about it is because I will continue to work for the party, albeit in a telecommuting role after I get things set up. Don't tell her, but I'm going to talk to the D-triple-C chair. I know they have another opening and I think that Carol would be able to do it part-time or maybe partially from home."

"That would be great, Donna. What about Josh? Is he still planning on taking off until April?"

"Yep. He'll be the househusband while I go back and forth to DC three days a week. Of course, I'm also taking off the rest of January and half of February. The six of us will play 'Little House on the Prairie' for a month or so down in Virginia. I'm afraid Josh might expect me to churn butter and knit our clothing. If he does, I'm going to expect him to slaughter chickens, if not something bigger.

"But enough about all of us? What's going on with you guys, the neighbors, your families, Bonnie and Jean-Luc?"

"Well, Danny and I are going to have the weekend here at the house to ourselves. Paddy is going with the Muñoz clan to a family reunion in Paso Robles. Hank, Steve, and Pammy and taking Caitlin with them to Hank's grandfather's farm. She's really excited about seeing the cows and chickens. About thirty minutes before you called, I dropped off Destiny at a boarding kennel. In fact, I was just getting myself all seductive when you called.

"Let's see. Carmen has lost some of the baby fullness in her face and is turning into a really attractive young woman. The boys are really starting to flock around her. Frank seems to be managing his little girl growing up a lot better than Mitch did with Hogan. Speaking of which, both Hogan and her husband got promotions. Keith, Randy and Gina's middle boy, is joining the Jesuits after he graduates from Berkeley. Fee's pregnant again. Ash is still seeing Brianna Stewart's son, but there's been no movement in the relationship. I honestly can't tell if Erin is happy or concerned about it. Anyway, back here, Cindy is a senior and is looking at colleges. I think she has her heart set on Berkeley; I'm going to write her a recommendation. She's doing well in school, she's involved in a project with homeless elementary school kids, and she handles Jessica having to do some traveling for Nancy very well. There was an issue with a less than desirable boy friend, but Steve and Danny put on their father hats and made sure that Cindy knew that she deserved better in her life. Drew Robbins is engaged to a girl he met over the summer and Laura is hoping that she can make it to 50 without becoming a grandmother. Jill is in her senior year at Stanford and will be making a serious run at the NCAA's this spring. Jill's been asked to join the LPGA tour. Becky Feldman's aiming for Harvard Med. When she was up there last week, she ran into Abbey and Abbey not only remembered her, she talked at length with the girl in front of the professor who was with Becky, so the Feldman's have high hopes. I don't know if you remember Linda Tallchief, the kids' doctor? She was supposed to get married in March, but she and her fiancé eloped last week and Diana said that she saw Linda coming out of Scott's office with a bunch of pregnancy fliers, so-o-o. Billy Rogers is considering running for mayor and he wanted me to take his place on council. I don't know who said 'No way!' faster, Danny or me. I think Bonnie and Jean-Luc are planning a second honeymoon for February. I offered to take care of the girls. Jean-Luc has the two of them eating out of his hand. Hank and Steve are looking for a surrogate; this one would be Hank's child biologically. I'm sure I'm leaving something out, but I can't think of what it is."

Actually, CJ knew exactly what she was leaving out, but until Nancy confirmed what CJ suspected, CJ's lips were sealed.

"And Danny? Still happy with USC?"

"Deliriously so, and not just with USC but with life in general. He dropped out of a couple of committees because of me, so now he's volunteering at church, helping to train the altar servers. It's just too typical, hearing him coach the kids. Donna, even if I **did** want to be working now, I think I would choose not to because he is so happy with our current set up. I know that I'll eventually want something else and I know that as soon as I mention **anything **about it, he'll say 'whatever you want, CJ, as long as we talk about it', but for now, this life is perfect for us. I remember, the day I almost blew it forever, he talked about how he was willing to 'be Mr. CJ Cregg', as he put it. And now, here I am -"

"Mrs. Danny Concannon?" Donna asked with a laugh.

"Well, Mrs. CJ Concannon," CJ replied, also laughing. "And it's not June Cleaver or anything like that. You remember, I got elected to parish council last May and they've asked me to take over the President-Elect slot in January when Reggie Adams goes up to Sacramento. And Fr. Luke told me that the Cardinal wanted me on his religion and media advisory committee, until I got sick and he realized that I didn't need the extra pressure just yet. It's funny, what David is so afraid of, Danny revels in."

"Well, you know, I think a great deal of it is the support system you all have out there. I've never seen a neighborhood as close as yours. Your guardian angels were certainly looking out for you two when you found your house.

"But tell me more about this weekend alone. Where are you going?"

"We're staying here. We've had our little getaways in the past, but we felt that we needed some time just as a couple in our own house. It's something we haven't had since before Caitlin was born."

"Well, then, I'll let you get ready for your man. Have a wonderful, romantic, and sexy weekend."

"Thanks, we'll sure try," CJ laughed. "Love to Josh and the kids."

Five minutes later, CJ adjusted the spaghetti strap on her left shoulder, then did a quick turn in front of the mirror. The turquoise sundress she bought in Rehoboth back when Paddy was an infant still fit after five years and another pregnancy. Slipping on her sandals, she was completely dressed.

If she and Danny were going out for the evening, she would have added earrings, a pendant, a watch, and perhaps even a bracelet. And, if she and Danny were going out, she would be wearing a bra and maybe even a slip. However, she smiled to herself, her husband would probably consider even the pair of panties she was wearing to be unnecessary for an evening _chez nous_.

To say that the past seven weeks had been rough for the Concannon's would be an understatement.

The first two weeks were little more than a blur. Her last clear memory was Paddy's second day of kindergarten, when she had to ask Danny to take over her carpool duties, saying that she needed to lie down and get rid of this cold that had snuck up on her. She had vague memories of first Scott Winkler and then other doctors and nurses poking and prodding at her. She had somewhat clearer memories of Danny hovering over her, kissing her forehead and telling her how much he loved her. She also remembered hearing his voice speaking softly in the background. ("Abbey, I hope it doesn't come to that. The doctors all say she's strong and should be able to fight it, but you never know. You're the doctor, but I don't think the President needs to be exposed to whatever this is.") She had one fairly clear memory of voices praying a rosary. And she had one very clear memory of Fr. Luke's fingers tracing crosses on her forehead, eyes, nose, ears, lips, hands and feet.

Then CJ woke up in a strange room. It took her five seconds to realize that she was in a hospital. It took her another three seconds to realize that she had been very sick and that it had been some time since she lay down "for a few minutes". CJ heard a slight sound and looked toward the source of that sound. Her husband was slouched into the chair, his legs sprawled out haphazardly. In the half light, she could see his face. He was sleeping, but fitfully.

"Danny?"

He woke with a start, looked around as if not sure where he was, then fixed upon her face.

"Jeannie?"

Danny was at her side, his hands on her face.

"You're cool. And dry. Oh, God, Jeannie, I've been so worried, we've all been so worried."

The next thing CJ knew, she was waking again, with doctors and nurses surrounding her. For the next two days, she woke only when the staff came to check on her or to give her medication, but she remained free from fever and free from delirium. Finally, she was able to go home.

Memories of the next two weeks included being given liquids and medicines by Danny, Hank, Steve, Diana, Frank, and the other neighbors; they included being bathed, first in bed and then sitting on a bath chair in the shower stall, by Danny, Diana, and Laura. There were also memories of blowing kisses to her children, standing in the doorway of her bedroom, because the doctors wanted to be sure that the infection was totally eradicated from her body. At first, she was too tired to even watch television, let alone hold a book or a magazine. The first time she tried to feed herself, her hands shook so much she spilled more of her soup than she swallowed.

The last three weeks brought gradually returning strength and permission to hug and kiss her children. At first, she could only manage a couple of hours on her feet. She was able to make sure that Paddy was ready to leave for school on time and to feed Caitlin her breakfast, but would then have to turn over care of her daughter to Danny, if it was one of his mornings at home, or to Hessa or Shamira, the two vaguely familiar young women who came to help with Caitlin and to help with the housekeeping in between visits from Narcisia ("Maybe we remind you of our second cousin Miriam, excuse me, Mariah. She sometimes works at the hospital and she mentioned you to us.") The weekend that all the males on the block (except little Chen Wei) went camping, Hogan and her husband came to stay with her, Caitlin, and Heather Jenkins. (Two of Yan's cousins, grad students at UCLA, also were there to provide a male presence on the block.) By this past Monday, the two Syrian-American sisters were no longer needed ("But if you ever need us again, even just for baby-sitting, call us.") and CJ was taking her turn in the car pool schedule. Next week, she would be one of the "helpers" for Paddy's kindergarten class trip to Sea World.

About ten days ago, CJ was sitting in the courtyard. Danny had put Caitlin to bed about an hour ago while she had helped Paddy with the little map of the neighborhood that was part of the class project. Then Danny took Paddy to his room for their nightly reading session.

"So, everyone's down for the night?"

"Yes," Danny answered as he eased down beside her.

Suddenly, Danny pulled her tightly against him.

"This is the second time in seven years that I've almost lost you, Jeannie. First the breast lump scare and now this."

"And what about you? Those hours when you and the others were lost at sea and then that time right before Caitlin was born, when we were waiting to see your doctor?"

"I keep remembering those talks from the priests and from Paul. Yes, we're parents and yes, we have responsibilities to Paddy and Caitlin. But first and foremost, we are man and woman, sacramentally united before God, our families and friends. We need some time to ourselves, darling," Danny whispered into her hair. "We have a good marriage, but we need to keep it good."

"So, we'll leave the kids with the neighbors and head up to Albion for a couple of days?" CJ asked.

"It's easy to be romantic and intimate in a romantic and intimate setting. It's not so easy in the everyday world of carpools, leaking sinks, leaf-filled gutters, and piles of laundry. I think we need to remind ourselves that we are husband and wife here in this house. We need to reassert our marriage here."

So, plans were made. The children were parceled out to the neighbors. Appointments were changed. Destiny had been bundled off to "dog camp".

This morning, CJ had changed the bed, replacing the Egyptian cotton bedding with silk. Over the past few days, Danny had made sure that there was plenty of firewood in the bedroom, the family room, and the living room. A shipment from the MacDonald Distilleries arrived on Wednesday. Right now, a plate of shrimp, lump crabmeat, and lobster tails was chilling in the refrigerator, along with a bottle of her brother's best champagne. Salad ingredients rested in baggies, waiting to be combined with a light vinaigrette. Two hours ago, Wally Hammash came by with a one pound beef Wellington ("Leave it out on this ice tray. I've inserted the meat thermometer already. Make sure the oven is at 350 before you start cooking it. You want 125 for rare. If it starts to get too brown, cover loosely with foil, shiny side out.") and another bottle from Randy and Gina, this one an estate reserve Pinot Noir, lay on its side on the counter. Flourless chocolate cake drenched in raspberry liqueur, coffee, and Bailey's would complete the meal.

Yes, she and Danny would make love tonight after their romantic meal (and maybe even between the appetizer and the main course), would probably be intimate again in the morning, and several other times over the weekend. Her perfume, her dress, her relative lack of underwear were all geared toward that end.

But more importantly, she and Danny would have time to talk, to hold, to listen, to renew and reaffirm the fundamental basis of their life together.

Because, before they were neighbor, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, friend, mother, or father, they were husband and wife. As long as they kept those roles first in their lives, they could fulfill the others with relative ease.

The door from the garage opened and Danny walked into the courtyard. He was carrying his sports coat and his briefcase. A tie hung from the jacket pocket. The top two buttons of Danny's shirt were undone and his cuffs were rolled up about three inches from his wrists.

CJ met him a little less than halfway across the courtyard, took the things from him and walked with him to the family room. As she set down the coat and the case, Danny collapsed into an overstuffed chair.

For the first five years of their marriage, Danny would often find himself, upon CJ's return from the alleys of Accra, the streams of Khartoum, or the plains of Ouagadougou, caring for her as if she were a weary child, helping her to undress, feeding her soup and scrambled eggs, sponging her face and her body with a damp wash cloth.

Later today, the former senior White House reporter would gently and reverently make love to the woman he had pursued for eight years and had adored and cherished for seven. He would leave no doubt in her mind that she was his queen, his beloved, his everything.

But right now, the former White House Press Secretary and Chief of Staff, the founder and former director of the most successful charitable organization in the world, the Nobel Peace laureate knelt at her husband's feet, slipped off his shoes and socks, and smiled up into his eyes.

"Welcome home, my love."


	65. Euphemisms

title

**Euphemisms**

CJ/Danny, Josh/Donna, mentions of others

Rating Late Teen –

Spoilers through end of series

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

_November 17, 2014; late afternoon; Santa Monica, CA_

"I'm sorry, let me get that".

CJ hurried over to move her buggy.

"Concannon's sixth corollary to Murphy's Law," CJ said to herself. "You always park your cart exactly where the person behind you wants to shop."

Her musings were interrupted by the tones of "A Londonderry Air" coming from her cell. Smiling at the thought of the grayish-red haired man to whom she had assigned the ringtone, CJ brought the phone to her ear.

"Hi, honey. What's up?"

"Donna called. Is it okay if she and the kids come stay with us for Thanksgiving week? They'd get here next Sunday late."

"Just Donna and the kids? Something going on there?"

"She also called to say that Margaret's sister died and that Josh has to take her place at the G-8 conference in San Clemente. Since the Santos' were planning to spend Thanksgiving with Helen's folks in Palm Springs, Josh and Donna decided they could take Noah out of school early and come visit," Danny replied. "I've already sent flowers to Margaret."

"I'll have to call her later. It's trite, but at least Angie isn't suffering anymore. And I'm glad that Angie and Margaret made up over Margaret getting married without Angie there. Also, you know without asking that I'd love to have them and that Joel and Hannah always say 'The more the merrier' for Thanksgiving dinner, but we already promised the guest room to Paul and Clara."

"I am nothing if not efficient, dear wife," Danny answered. "Paul and Clara will be shuffled off to Jessica. I've even thought about sleeping arrangements. We'll put Noah in with Paddy, of course, and Joannie on a rollaway in the nursery with Caitlin. That leaves Leo and Micah in your office."

"I'm pretty sure that Joannie will fuss about 'sleeping with a baby', Danny. Maybe she should be in with Donna."

"Or we can put her in with her triplet brothers. It will be interesting to see how Joannie deals with not having her besotted father around," Danny answered.

"And who are you to talk about besotted fathers? I bet Caitlin is curled up in your lap right now."

"Well, you're wrong." Caitlin was actually curled up against his left thigh; Danny reached down to stroke the bright red curls he had given her with his DNA.

"For once. I wonder why Donna called the house and not my phone?"

"She didn't say. Maybe she thought you were with Paddy at school." (Actually, Donna called Danny on **his** cell, incorrectly assuming he was on campus, to make sure that her package with CJ's birthday present had arrived at Frank and Diana's.)

_Monday November 24, 2014; 8:15 AM_

"Have a good day at school today. I love you."

CJ hugged her son and pushed him toward the front door, where Diana waited to take Maggie and Paddy to kindergarten.

Walking back to the kitchen, she poured herself a fresh cup of coffee and held the pot toward Donna, who nodded her head to indicate that yes, she would like a refill.

"Well, that wasn't too bad," CJ observed.

At first, Paddy wasn't too happy about having to go to school today. Mama and Aunt Donna were going to do fun things with Noah, Leo, Micah, and Joannie; it wasn't fair that he couldn't go along with them. But Mama pointed out that if he didn't go to school today, he couldn't practice for his role as Miles Standish in the Thanksgiving play. And if he couldn't practice today, he couldn't be in the play on Tuesday. And Paddy really wanted to be in the play. Mama and Daddy would be coming, along with Aunt Diana, Uncle Frank, and Aunt Donna, not to mention the aforesaid Noah, Leo, Micah, and Joannie. They would be his guests.

So Paddy kissed Mama and Aunt Donna good-bye and went off to school. It was only when Aunt Diana dropped them at the door that Paddy realized he could have asked Aunt Donna to be his "show and tell". After all, she worked for the President, just like Mama did for Grandpa Jed. ("How come I don't 'member that, Mama?" "Paddy, it was before you were born, before Mama and Daddy were married. You were just a twinkle in your Daddy's eye at the time.) Someday, Paddy would have to ask Steve or Aaron about twinkles.

"So, how much time do you usually have?" Donna asked as she stirred some milk into her cup.

"Caitlin usually sleeps until 9:00 or so. I usually read through the paper, work the Sudoku. Of course, if I'm taking the kids to school or if I have a class mom assignment, I'm out the door."

"And when Danny's home?"

CJ's smile was answer enough.

"You're lucky," Donna sighed. "The kids are used to getting up and going to the White House with Josh. Even on weekends and holidays, they're up by 7:00 of their own accord."

"So this little sugar trick is not a common occurrence?" CJ asked.

Yesterday, when Danny returned from San Clemente with Donna and the kids in tow about 6:30, CJ had dinner ready. However, Noah and the triplets didn't each that much. When CJ made the comment that they were probably on East Coast time and might be sleepy, Donna said that she hoped not and that she had purposely given them candy and cakes on the trip across country and in the car ride in order to keep them up later so that they wouldn't be waking up at 4:00 AM.

"No, I don't force uppers on my kids, even natural ones," Donna laughed. "I just wanted them to give me some time alone with you. For that matter, I did the same thing with me, only it was coffee and Mountain Dew ®."

So the two friends relaxed over their coffee. CJ thanked Donna again for the birthday present ("As soon as I saw that T-shirt covered with goldfish, I had to get it for you.") Donna said that it wasn't final, but she was pretty sure that her string-pulling with the D triple C was producing results and that Carol would be able to work three days from home, two days in the office.

"Listen, Donna, why don't you take advantage of me and take a long bath? I can deal with the kids if they wake up before you're done."

"Are you sure you don't mind dealing with the four of them?"

"No problem. I just have to go over a few things for tomorrow night, when Danny's students will be coming. Check with the deli about the food, that sort of thing."

"Well, I'm afraid that a bath would drain me, but maybe tonight?"

Seeing CJ's nod, Donna continued, "but if you're absolutely sure you don't mind, I would like to take a long walk and get some of these kinks out of my body."

"No problem. And you could do me a favor and take Destiny with you, assuming you don't mind doing the poop-scoop thing."

Ten minutes later, armed with plastic bags and a water bottle, Donna and the yellow lab were headed toward the beach and pier area.

_8:45 PM_

"I bet that Joannie's still moping," Noah whispered to Paddy. "She was so mad when your daddy gave her a time out for hitting Micah."

"I don't understand; she knew she did something bad. Why did she say that Daddy was wrong? With my daddy, when you do something wrong, you tell the truth and accept what he gives you. If you make a fuss, he just makes the timeout longer."

"Well, Daddy always tells me and Leo and Micah that boys don't hit girls; and the big boys at Miss Helen's say that it's not nice to snitch, so when Joannie hits us, we don't say anything."

"So she gets away with it? That's not fair!" Paddy exclaimed.

"Only if Mommy doesn't see. And Mommy sees lots of things. But if Mommy isn't there and Daddy is, Joannie can fool him a lot."

"Well, she didn't fool my daddy, especially when he asked what happened and Caitlin said 'her hit him'. I'm just mad that Mama and Aunt Donna decided that we all needed to go to bed early tonight. Look, we have to be extra careful tomorrow. We don't want to be sent to bed early and miss out on the party Daddy has for his school. I mean, we won't be allowed to stay up real late, but we'll get to meet everyone and eat some party food."

"Okay. Are you nervous about your play tomorrow?"

"A little. But Mama said for me to just look at her and she'll smile and make me feel better," Paddy answered with a yawn. "G'night, Noah."

"G'night, Paddy."

_Wednesday, November 26; 10:45 AM_

"Can you show me the flower, pumpkin?" CJ asked Caitlin, who was sitting in her lap.

"Fou-er". The little redhead pointed to the rose in the book. "Froat hurts."

"I know it does, baby," CJ crooned as she kissed her daughter's forehead. Caitlin was still warm, but not as hot as she was when the little girl woke up Danny and herself this morning. "Let's go get you something for that."

The front doorbell sounded just as CJ stood up, so she detoured to the foyer.

Looking through the peephole, she smiled at the sight of Paul's face on the other side.

"It's your godfather, Caitlin!"

A few minutes later, the three of them were in the kitchen. Paul was holding Caitlin and crooning to her while CJ squeezed half a lemon into the warm water and honey in a sippy cup. After handing the cup to Paul, she poured two cups of coffee and sat down.

In answer to his question, CJ explained that Danny, Donna, and the kids, including Maggie, were at Griffith Park. CJ was to have gone with them (with Diana taking care of Caitlin), but when the toddler woke up with "head and froat hurts" CJ changed her plans. In turn, Paul told her that Clara was spending most of the day with some of her friends from "her time here with Cosmo" and that he was "going to veg".

CJ asked Paul about Derrick and Deborah ("Both in their second year of graduate study. Derrick loves Seattle. Deborah enjoys New York, but she also spends some time down in Princeton with Alicia's father.") and his work ("I'm going to teach one course at Georgetown next semester") in DC. Paul asked CJ about her family, especially Randy and Gina, of whom he had fond memories from those years in Berkeley, and Aisling ("my fellow godparent"). When asked, CJ told Paul how much she enjoyed being with the kids, helping out with Paddy's school, and working on parish council.

"So here I am, almost eight years removed from the White House, almost four years removed from Oslo, taking care of two kids full-time, cooking meals, ironing Danny's shirts on occasion," CJ laughed. "Two weeks ago, I even baked a cake from scratch. Don't you laugh at me, Paul Reeves," she added as she saw the light in the minister's eyes. "Even if you find it hard to believe."

"I'm not laughing at you, sweetheart, I'm just glad that you are happy with the current condition of your life." He did not tell her that he was smiling because he was remembering the days when he thought of her as making a home with **him**, for **their** children, ironing **his** shirts. Even then, he had known that CJ would go on to grad school, but he had never seen her on the national or international stage.

"And you? You're happy with the current condition of **your** life?"

Once again, his eyes and his smile answered the question before the words left his mouth.

"I manage."

"And exactly what is it that you **manage**, as you put it?"

If CJ hoped to make him blush, she would fail, just as she had when she was an undergrad.

"The same thing that you and Danny manage, sweetheart."

He would always miss Alicia but Clara was wonderful ("I thank God and you every day for her"), he got along wonderfully with her children and loved being a step-grandfather ("and, if only because they say it takes any pressure off them to marry and reproduce, hopefully in that order, Derrick and Deborah love Clara and her family.") Early next summer ("before hurricane season"), they were thinking about getting everyone from both sides together for a week in a huge 10 bedroom rental on the Outer Banks.

"It'll be over ten grand, but it would worth it. Ocean front, but also with a private heated pool and a kiddie pool. Wi-Fi, exercise room, three hot tubs, satellite dish, double kitchen, decks, the whole nine yards."

"Sounds wonderful. I know that we all enjoy our weekend at Cape May with Rick and Ginger.

"Listen, please stay and veg here with me. I've got leftover stuff from the party we had for Danny's classes last night and since we're contributing the wine for tomorrow, I'm all set for that. I can't remember the last time I played a really cutthroat game of Scrabble ®."

"Different rules on challenges, of course."

They both smiled, remembering that when they played together many years ago, it was "loser removes a piece of clothing".

_Thanksgiving Day, 2014; 1:45 PM PST; Santa Monica CA; home of Joel and Hannah Feldman_

Paul took a sip of his Bloody Mary and laughed easily.

"I don't know, do I dare voice the idea that a school other than one from the PAC-10 will win it all this year?"

Hank, Steve, Ken, Danny, Frank, and Paul were on the Feldman's deck, having been shooed out of the kitchen by Joel and Hannah and having no desire to watch "Miracle on 34th Street" with the rest of the group.

"With Derrick up at law school in Washington, I'd say not," Hank answered, "but then maybe you're a braver man than I."

"I guess I'm still hoping for Notre - "

Danny stopped in mid-sentence as his cell rang. Glancing at the number, he excused himself to the edge of the deck and took the call.

"It's across the street at the top of the block. I'll go outside and wait for you."

Five minutes later, Josh Lyman knelt in the foyer of the Feldmans' house, engulfed in the hugs of his four children.

Josh wasn't sure if he would be able to get away from San Clemente in time to spend Thanksgiving with his family and so only Danny knew that he might be coming. Yes, the conference ended with a late dinner on Wednesday night, but Josh had to hang around until the last of the foreign dignitaries were safely on their way back to their homelands or their next destination.

Standing off to one side, Danny imagined a similar scene, had the twins lived or had he and CJ married at the beginning of the Bartlet administration and produced more children. However, today of all days, Danny admonished himself, he should not (and, truth be told, did not) be jealous of Josh. Today of all days, but also every day, he should be and was eternally grateful to God for CJ and for the son that looked like her and the daughter that mirrored his own visage.

"Joshua."

"Donnatella."

Then Danny felt himself to be voyeur, realizing that for the Lyman's, the use of their formal names was an act of intimacy. He slipped back into the family room, from which he had summoned Donna and her brood, and sat on the floor at CJ's feet. Her hand reached down to stroke the side of his face and then her fingers played with his hair. The movie had just past the climactic scene where the court bailiffs had dumped all the Santa Claus letters on the judge's bench.

_3:50 PM_

Dinner was over, except that people were helping themselves to desserts if and when the need for something sweet hit them. The kids were playing video games or sacked out from the meal. Some of the adults were involved in a half-hearted attempt at volleyball while the others were watching the late game. Clara, the Jenkins twins, and Li Wei had a bridge game going.

Donna pulled CJ aside.

"Josh and I are going to slip out for a while, if you don't mind dealing with whatever comes up with the menagerie."

"Is that what the kids are calling it these days?" CJ laughed, causing her friend to blush. "This usually breaks up around 6:00, give or take, depending on the status of the televised sporting event of the moment. Will that be okay or should we take them for ice cream on the pier?"

"CJ, it's not quite 4:00 and we aren't teenagers!"

CJ started to retort that it had been three days, but then quickly realized that she was getting in territory that could be, if not dicey, "too much information." Maybe Josh and Donna didn't have as active a sex life as the one she shared with Danny. Or maybe, CJ thought ruefully, she and Danny needed four hours for what Josh and Donna could accomplish in two. Not that CJ was complaining, mind you.

_5:10 PM_

"Daddy! I hurt my knee!"

Joannie came running outside, tears in her eyes. She looked around the group of adults on the deck.

"Where's my daddy? He has to kiss my knee!" Her tears came down more freely.

Danny reached down to the little girl as some of the other children came out on the deck.

"Let me see." Joannie's right knee was slightly scraped. "I think it's just a scratch but I'm sure it hurts, sweetie. Let me kiss it for you. What happened?"

"We were playing tag and Mei-ling was trying to catch me. I tripped. And I want my Daddy!"

Danny kissed the offending knee and dabbed at Joannie's face with a napkin.

"Your daddy and mommy went back to the house. They needed to take a nap."

Joannie broke away from Danny and walked toward the edge of the deck.

"Then I want to go back to the house, too! I want to take a nap with Daddy!"

"Joannie, honey," Paul stopped the little girl, "your mommy wanted you to stay here and have fun."

"Daddy wants me to be with him."

Maggie Muñoz walked up to the miniature replica of Donna.

"No, he doesn't, Joannie. When parents say they're taking a nap, they aren't sleeping. It's a famism."

"What's a famism?"

"It's a code word. Two weeks ago me and Paddy heard Daddy and Uncle Danny talking and when he said something was a famism, we asked what it was. Uncle Danny explained it."

"Actually," Danny interjected, "the word is 'euphemism', but it **is** kind of like a code word."

"Anyway, when grownups say they are going to take a nap, they aren't going to sleep. It means they want to special touch each other," Manny Hammash continued.

"What's special touch?"

"It's like a bad touch, except that you want to be touched like that and the person you want to touch you like that wants to touch you like that," Mei-ling explained.

"One day, Uncle Frank and Aunt Diana told Maggie and Steve that they were going to take a nap, but when Maggie was playing outside, she heard her daddy make a funny sound, so she looked in the bedroom window. Aunt Diana was tickling and kissing Uncle Frank's wee-wee," Paddy offered helpfully. "Maggie was upset and went to tell Carmen that her mommy was giving her daddy a bad touch. Carmen told her that when you're a grownup, it's okay to touch like that if you both want to and if you do it in private. Then Maggie told us about it. Carmen also said that it wasn't nice to look in bedroom windows – oops! – Anyway, when mommies and daddies want to special touch each other during the day, they say they need to take a nap, so that's what your mommy and daddy are doing. I think Mama and Daddy special touch each other all the time, so if your daddy has been with Mr. Pres-dent since Sunday, they have a lot of special touching to catch up."

By this time, the older pre-teens were giggling, the teens were blushing, and the adults were trying very hard not to look at each other because none of them wanted to burst out laughing.

Finally, Paul decided that some things needed to be clarified and that, by training, he was the best adult for that task. He asked the little ones and the pre-teens to join him in the family room, telling the older kids that if they "had any questions, I'm here until Saturday."

The teens drifted away, self-segregating by sex, eager to get away from their parents.

The laughing started with Ken, then spread to Jessica. Sally was the next to give in, followed by Joel. The others joined in.

Finally Diana, her face as red as Frank's sweater, lifted her face from her husband's shoulder and faced her neighbors.

"Will we ever live this down?"

"I don't know, "Aviva laughed, "but I'm glad our room is on the second floor!"

"One thing's obvious," Steve said. "For the most part, what one child knows, every child knows. I'm not sure that any of us could keep our own child from sharing with the others, or if we should even try?" He looked around at the others. Pammy, at three, hadn't been part of the group, but in a year or two would be at least hanging around the fringes of the other kids.

Paul came back to the deck and grabbed a beer from the cooler. Walking over to Clara, he held out his hand, helped her to her feet, took her place in the chair, and pulled her onto his lap.

"I hope I didn't presume too much by talking to the kids," the minister told the others.

"Lord, no," Diana told him. "Somebody had to clear up everything for them and I'm sure that you did a very good job, better than any of us could have done."

"Actually, there wasn't that much to 'clear up', as you put it. I think that Carmen's explanation was very age appropriate. It explained enough without going into detail that the kids their age don't really care about, assuming that they haven't been exposed to graphic images. I just made sure they knew that wanting to be touched intimately and wanting to touch intimately is something reserved for adults, that if anyone tried to touch them intimately it was still a 'bad touch', that they knew that it was something private between those adults, and that they should respect their parents' privacy. I also told them that they should use correct terms for body parts. I hope I haven't stepped on any toes," Paul looked around at the others.

"Not mine," Aviva laughed, "but my grandmother will have a fit when she hears Manny talking about penises and vaginas."

There were several nods of agreement and comments about reactions from the parents of the adults gathered on the deck. Yan suggested that the parents also talk with their children's teachers, to make sure that there were no little surprises at school.

"I did tell them that perhaps they should be careful of how they discuss this with their other friends," Paul replied. He took a breath. "Then one of the kids, and I'll let the parents know later, asked about 'giving yourself a bad touch'. I told the kids that different parents have different rules about 'private touches' and to talk with you about it. For what it's worth, Alicia and I told our kids that it's normal, but it's not something you do in front of others or talk about doing with others. So, if it comes up, be forewarned."

"And if we have any questions?" Hank asked.

"I'm here tomorrow and CJ has my cell and my email.

"So, the older kids?"

"They all hurried out of here, more embarrassed about having sex discussed in front of them and their parents than any of us were," Pete Dieliczko told him.

"Okay."

After his discussion with the kids, the youngsters asked him to start the Aladdin DVD. As he was doing so, little Will Rogers came up and asked him in a small voice if "big kids can be bad touched". When gently pressed, the four year old said that when Cindy last baby-sat him, "her boyfriend kept grabbing at her and wouldn't stop when she said no." Paul had only lived on the block for a few months, but he considered himself one of Cindy's father figures and wanted to talk with the young woman, to make sure that she truly believed that she had the right to say no, the right to expect any man to respect that right, and that she had a good sense of self-esteem. However, he did not want to call attention to the situation, and had to play it very close to the vest. Maybe he would have a chance to talk with her tomorrow. If necessary, he would mention something to Danny if he couldn't find time between now and Saturday, when they would be heading back to DC.

_Saturday, November 29, 10:15 AM_

CJ, Danny (holding Caitlin), and Paddy continued to wave as the Lyman's drove off to San Clemente and Air Force One.

As they walked into the house, CJ told Paddy and Uncle Steve and Uncle Hank were going to watch him and his sister for a little bit.

"Daddy and I have to -"

"I know, take a nap," Paddy smiled.

Danny looked at CJ and decided they needed a new euphemism.

"No, we need to work on our taxes."


	66. Messieurs Mom

**Messieurs Mom**

CJ/Danny

Rating Late Teen –

Spoilers through end of series

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

_January 16, 2015; 9:15 am PST; Santa Monica, CA_

"Good-bye, sweetie. Mama loves you. I'll see you on Monday afternoon. Be a good girl for Daddy."

CJ repeated much the same words (except for gender references, of course) that she had used with her son some two hours ago.

Caitlin grabbed hold of her mother's hair and held it to her mouth.

"Gu girl Dada. Kiss."

CJ gently unclasped the little redhead's fingers, released her hold on her daughter, and stood up, looking into Danny's eyes.

"Hey, you."

Danny gathered CJ into his arms and pressed the right side of his head against the right side of hers.

"God keep you in His hands, darling. Enjoy yourself and come back to us safely."

A brief kiss and CJ was walking down the sidewalk, rolling her suitcase behind her, toward the Muñoz Escalade where Diana, Jessica, Sally, Hannah, and Aviva were waiting for her. Across the street, Yan was in the Wei Avalon with Sonya, Nancy, and Laura.

With final waves from Danny, Steve, Jesse, and Pete, the women of the block drove off toward Big Sur.

Ken Robbins had the idea before anyone else and just happened to tell Danny and Frank about the special Christmas present he was planning for his wife. The Air Force general and the USC professor thought it was an excellent idea and asked to "borrow" it. As the other men on the block found out about it, they also decided to join the group, and, with the nine of them (plus Hank, Steve, and the Jenkins twins) deciding to split costs for Jessica, the plans were finalized. The adult women of the block would be treated to a luxury spa experience on MLK weekend.

Somehow, the secret was kept. The husbands made the reservations, arranged for time off with employers, and made plans for child care without any of the women suspecting anything. On Christmas morning, all ten of them were thoroughly surprised (especially Hannah and Aviva, who thought they had received the final Chanukah present on the evening of the 23rd.)

"Dada. Pee."

Right around Thanksgiving, Caitlin had expressed an interest in using a potty chair. (CJ theorized that it was a result of spending time with Pammy, who was sixteen months Caitlin's senior, and had just been successfully toilet-trained by Hank and Steve and who was very proud of the frilly underwear that Hank purchased for the little girl.) CJ and Danny decided against making a big deal of it just yet, but to react positively when Caitlin expressed a need, so devices were placed in both the main bath in the bedroom wing and in the half-bath between the family room and the kitchen. So far, the little girl seemed to be batting .500 on number one and .667 on number two.

"Okay, sweetheart."

Danny took hold of the little hand that was pulling on his fingers and walked with his daughter back into the house.

After successfully helping Caitlin, the two of them went to the kitchen, where Danny finished cleaning up after breakfast and Caitlin played on the floor with Destiny. Then Danny took the child to his study (with the yellow lab following), where she pounded on a toy "computer" while Danny edited his lecture notes for one of the classes he would be teaching this semester. A baby gate across the door kept the toddler in the room.

About an hour later, Danny looked up to see Caitlin fast asleep on the floor, her head resting on the belly of a softly snoring Destiny.

After carrying his daughter to the nursery (Caitlin had no problem staying in the crib and because she was having what appeared to be nightmares on occasion, CJ and Danny had decided to keep her close to them for the time being), Danny walked into the bedroom and started to make the bed. Then the scents of the previous night's activities (and those of earlier that morning) reached his nostrils; he sat down on the edge of the mattress and reflected on same.

Last night's was typical of many of their end of day sexual encounters. It was not pedestrian or routine, but neither was it the stuff of paperback romances. The foreplay was genuine and tender; Danny made sure that CJ had climaxed before entering her, "just in case." (As it turned out, after Danny came, CJ pulled at his hand and held it tightly against her for a few seconds, then tensed and melted.) After play consisted of a few kisses; CJ turned her back to him and snuggled her backside into his groin, pulling his arm around her shoulders.

The wee hour of the morning encounter was another thing altogether. Danny wasn't sure who woke first, but after CJ turned around to face him and they had exchanged three delicate kisses and one erotic one, Danny pushed her gently unto her stomach. Placing a pillow under CJ to bring her to the perfect angle, he positioned her arms and legs to optimize their contact with each other. Bringing his body over hers, he gently lowered his upper body to cover hers and carefully pushed his erection into her warmth and wetness.

His kisses covered her neck, her shoulders, the side of her face. When Danny wasn't kissing her, he whispered words of love and adoration.

After a few minutes, Danny slipped his right hand between CJ and the pillow and began the delicate little dance that would bring her satisfaction. It was a point of personal pride for him that when he loved her in this fashion, he took her to fulfillment at least twice before giving in to his own arousal. The sensation of her climaxing with him stuffed inside her, the fit as tight as a latex glove, was always a wonderful feeling, but experiencing it in this particular position was incredible. The physical feelings, the trust in and submission to his love, the sense of needing to protect her from the world and from any pain that she might suffer should he not maintain the thin line between lust and undue roughness, all combined to make this particular form of marital congress the most intimate and the most precious in their universe.

Afterward, he continued to whisper words of devotion to her, gentling her down from the heights of her third trip. Both of them knew that they would be apart for three nights; both of them remembered the events on the Pacific three years earlier, when the boat went dead, and knew that nothing should be taken for granted.

Danny sighed, stood up, and finished making the bed. It was going to be a long, long weekend.

Danny figured that Caitlin would nap for a little less than an hour. After that, he would take her to the beach for a picnic. At 2:15, he had to pick up Maggie and Paddy at kindergarten. Maggie would stay at their place until Carmen came home with Mike and Steve at 4:00.

Having Carmen take the others to school was much too convenient and the young woman had proven to be a trustworthy chauffer. However, neither the Muñoz' nor the Concannons wanted the two littlest ones to stay in the afterschool program for an additional ninety minutes until the other boys and Carmen were finished with school for the day. None of the families on the block wanted their kids to be over programmed; they wanted the kids to have time for unstructured play at home. So the two families alternated picking up Maggie and Paddy in the afternoon, but relied on Carmen to take the five year olds to school in the morning.

_7:30 PM_

Danny stretched as the newest Disney DVD entered the climactic scene. Maggie squealed slightly and clutched at Paddy's hand. Danny was pleased to see his son put a reassuring arm around the little girl's shoulders. The two of them were lying on the floor in front of the family room couch, Destiny making an obliging pillow for the two of them. Danny was lying on the couch, his upper body making a mattress for a lightly snoring Caitlin.

Ten years ago, Danny would never have believed that he would have the life he was now leading. CJ was not only his wife, but the mother of his children – a son that looked like her and who wanted to be "like Daddy" and a daughter who was his feminine clone and who trusted her father to keep her world safe and secure. And CJ felt secure enough in his love to allow him to take care of her. She trusted him to provide for her without taking away her worth as a person. She loved him enough to give him the gift of knowing that his children were always with at least one of their parents. Every three months or so, Danny asked CJ if she was okay with their situation. Did she want to go back to the Foundation, or to do something else? All she had to do was tell him, and they would work it out. And every time, CJ told him that someday, she probably would want to get "involved" again, but for now, as long as Danny was comfortable being the only breadwinner, she was happy "sponging off him".

("And it's not as if you expect me to be Donna Reed or Harriet Nelson. You help with the cooking, the laundry, the cleaning, such as it is. I'm the one getting the better end of the deal now. I get to spend as much time with my kids as I want."

"Yeah, but I'm not slaving in an office or a factory for forty or more hours a week. I'm at home one full day and two half days a week."

"So let's stop talking about our blessings and enjoy them, Danny. When I get bored, or restless, I'll let you know.")

Suddenly, the little girl whimpered in her sleep. As she cried out a second time, she flailed her little arms and legs and Danny stifled a curse. Caitlin's left foot managed to hit exactly the wrong place. Ah, well, things could be worse. If CJ were here, Danny would be of no use to her. However, by Monday night, all should be well.

The animated movie came to an end and the two kindergartners sat up.

"Uncle Danny, can we – I mean may we watch another video?" Maggie smiled sweetly at her best friend's father.

"There isn't enough time before bedtime for a full story, Maggie," Danny told the little girl. "Why don't the two of you play a game while I put Caitlin to bed?"

Right before it was time to leave the beach for St. Monica's, Danny's mobile had rung. It was Frank Muñoz, calling from El Segundo. A fellow officer had offered him three tickets to the Lakers game that night and Frank wanted to take Mike and Steve. The thing was, what to do about Maggie?

"I know that if I asked, Carmen would change her plans in an instant, but I also know that this sleepover at Josie's has been planned since right after Halloween and I hate to ask her to give it up. Could Maggie stay with you guys tonight?"

Of course she could, Danny replied. It would not be the first time that Maggie slept in the extra bunk in Paddy's room. Frank and the boys were to enjoy the game.

So Danny left Paddy and Maggie in the family room playing Candyland ® while he took Caitlin to the nursery, changed her into pajamas, and put her in the crib without fully waking her. Then he flipped a coin for the older kids to see who would get ready for bed first (Paddy) and then read to the two of them for 20 minutes. Leaving his son's room, Danny told the children that they could talk as long as they wished, but they each had to stay in their own beds and that the light had to stay off. Yes, he would send Destiny into the room later, after she made her final pit stop of the evening.

Danny was relaxing in the hot tub when the phone rang. It was Li Wei, wondering if the Concannons had any Orajel ® . His year old son was teething.

"I tried to call Jesse, but there's no answer," Li said.

Danny reminded Li that the dentist was sitting with the Hammash kids while Wally worked at the restaurant. Danny also told the man that if Jesse didn't have anything at the house, Danny did have the whiskey that untold generations of McDonald mothers had used on their children's gums.

_Saturday morning_

"You're not playing?"

Jesse entered the screened in porch on the Hammash house and closed the door behind him. The other men (except for Timmy Jenkins, who was on duty) and most of the kids were playing street ball.

"With me, there was an odd number of grownups, and someone had to watch Chi'an and the girls."

Dafna Hammash, Pammy, and Caitlin were sitting on the floor of the porch coloring. Little Chi'an Wei was sleeping in his cradle carrier.

Danny also wanted to sit out the game because he was still a bit sore where Caitlin had kicked him.

"Well, I'm back from my emergency extraction, so we'd be even. And we can get one of the girls to watch the kids."

"Carmen's still at her slumber party. Cindy and Audra went to the mall. So you can sit with me, or see of one of the other guys wants a break," Danny told the young dentist.

"Maybe in a bit. The Hollisters got me out of bed at 6:30 and the adrenaline is wearing off."

"There's coffee in the kitchen. I'm about to get a refill. Would you like some?"

"Thanks," Jesse answered, sitting down on the glider next to the chair Danny occupied. "Cream, no sugar."

When Danny returned with two steaming mugs of coffee, Jesse was busy changing Chi'an.

"You do that like a pro," Danny said, then, remembering, "Jesse, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I just hope that Nancy is relaxing this weekend, that she's able to forget for a while."

The week after Thanksgiving, Nancy and Jesse confirmed what CJ had suspected and that come June there would be another baby on the block. Then, two days before Christmas, Nancy lost the baby.

"No, it's not okay. You lost a child, and I know how much that can hurt. I also know how much you want to be strong for Nancy, but you have to be able to mourn yourself. I don't mean to pry, but from what Frank has implied, your father is a bit, well, old school, and I'm not sure that you've been given the comfort **you** need."

Jesse looked up and smiled at Danny through the shine of tears in his eyes.

"Actually, when he was alone with me, my father and I cried in each other's arms. He told me that my mother had miscarried twice, and that it was the worst feeling in the world. My father is a product of his time.

"And I have to believe what the doctors told us, that Nancy and I are perfectly healthy and that there was nothing to indicate that the baby" Jesse's voice broke just a little "had anything wrong, genetically. Just a fluke of nature, they said. So, we're praying, both for our little angel and for another pregnancy. And working very hard at the latter," Jesse laughed. "Nancy wanted to back out of this weekend, but I told her that the rest of you wouldn't stand for having an adult woman around this weekend. You would want to prove that you can manage without any double-X chromosomes."

"Well, it is definitely taking the whole village," Danny said, "but we're doing okay. Since the weather is holding and since Billy and Sally's pool is heated, we'll be spending the afternoon there. Wally will have to leave for the restaurant, but the rest of us can manage hotdogs on the grill. Wally said he made some potato salad. You're over there again tonight?"

Jesse nodded in the affirmative.

"And Cindy will be with Hank and Steve again tonight?" he asked Danny.

"Yep. And she has a date. Steve is champing at the bit to play the concerned father figure. I'm taking bets as to whether he relents at all on the curfew. So far, it's nine 'no' and two 'yes'. What do you think?"

"Put me down for a 'no'. I've seen Steve manage the females of this block. Uncle Frank says that skill like that shouldn't be wasted on a gay man."

_Early Sunday afternoon_

"We'll be fine, Frank. Elena and I have eleven children and twenty-three grandchildren between us. And Cindy, Carmen, Steve, Heather, Aaron, and Audra will police themselves. We can manage the other twelve."

"Yes, go, and take Alonzo and Vicente with you. Paloma and I will even clean up this mess so when Diana gets back, she won't have to worry about anything."

Frank looked around the kitchen. It wasn't any messier than it usually was, but then his mother and his mother-in-law had different standards than did Diana. When he invited his father and father-in-law to join the group watching the game, Frank hadn't counted on his mother and mother-in-law tagging along. The men had planned to put the kids in the Robbins family room, paying the older ones to keep an eye on the little ones, while they moved the TV to the deck to watch the NFL playoffs. (A smaller TV and DVD would be placed in the family room for the youngsters.)

"Come on, _Papi_, Lonzo, let's get out of here," Frank laughed, and the three men left the house, Frank's father carrying the big pot of _chili verde con carne_ that would be part of the afternoon's edibles.

The three men reached the Robbins house just as the pre-game show was ending. Hank pumped beers for the three men from the keg on the deck as Ken showed Vicente to the kitchen so the chili could be kept warm on the stove.

_An hour later_

"You idiot ref! No way in hell was that holding," Jesse Muñoz exclaimed.

"I don't know, Jesse, from that second replay angle, it sure looked like holding to me," Billy Rogers offered his opinion.

"Billy, if you believe that, you're as stupid as that blind zebra!"

"Stupid! The hell?" Billy rose halfway out of his seat, glaring at the dentist.

"Guys! Calm down! Here, have some shrimp," Wally said, holding out a bowl of the shellfish steamed with Old Bay.

"I'm sorry, Billy," Jesse held out his hand to the other man. "I don't know what came over me."

Frank smiled to himself. He had seen similar temper flare-ups before while on extended tours of duty.

"You guys will be a lot happier tomorrow evening, after the girls return," Frank said.

"But they'll be tired from the long drive," Jesse said with a slight pout.

"Which is why I arranged for Hannah and me to have Tuesday off as well," Joel said with a smile.

"Damn! I didn't think of that," Billy exclaimed.

"Nor did I," Li chimed in glumly.

"Me neither," Pete joined in the circle of regret. He looked at Danny, Frank, Ken, and Wally. "You guys are lucky. Your wives don't work outside the house."

"True, but except for Ken, we have kids at home," said Wally.

"Well, we're free to babysit," Hank told the others. He and Steve were sympathetic to their straight friends.

"You know, I think we've all managed quite well this weekend, but I'd be the first to say that there was something missing without CJ around. We guys have gone off as a group several times, sometimes for just the day, sometimes for the weekend, several times, and we've always enjoyed ourselves, but this is the first time that the women have left us as a group for more than a day or an evening. I wonder if they missed us when we were gone as much as we've missed them. For that matter, I wonder if they've given us any more thought than we gave them when we were on our adventures."

"We gave them thought, Danny," Ken said. "We often talked about being good husbands and fathers."

"True that. I guess they discuss us the same way."

"Yeah," Li said, "I wonder what, if anything, they're saying about us right now."

_The same time; Big Sur, CA_

Actually, none of the wives were thinking or talking about their husbands, but each and every one of the men was on Jessica's mind as she relaxed under the soothing and capable hands of the man massaging her back, shoulders, arms, and legs.

While she would never understand why God chose to take Rusty from her and from Cindy, Jessica was eternally grateful to Him, for, once having done that, having given her the blessing of living on the same block with these eleven families. The men were her brothers, her uncles, always willing to deal with the things Rusty would have handled had he lived.

All save for one very important exception, thank God. Jessica belonged to a widow's group through the army and another through her church. Many of the women had horror stories about men – "pillars of the church", even bereavement counselors – who were only too willing to offer their "services". Jessica had been hit upon several times ("I knew your husband and I'm sure you were used to a regular sex life. I can help you.") but never by any of the men who cleaned her gutters, fixed her leaking faucets, checked over her car, and provided her daughter with a father figure, living examples of what Rusty would have been had he lived, living examples of what Cindy should expect from a boyfriend.

Jessica knew that the women trusted their men and that they also trusted her. When she and Cindy first moved to the block, all of them (except CJ) had tried to introduce her to eligible potential replacements for her husband, but she let them know that there would never be another man in her life. It took a while, but finally the neighbors believed her and stopped trying to fix her up with eligible men. Nancy even ran pre-emptive interference between Jessica and Nancy's brother Charlie. ("He just won't settle down; he's the quintessential playboy. I think my folks have finally given up hope of his settling down with one woman and not divorcing her within two or three years. They're just grateful that the mothers let the grandkids visit often. I love my brother, and he can be the most charming man in the world. I know what you said, but if he decides he wants to go after you, he can be impossible to resist.")

CJ had been somewhat standoffish at first, which had bothered Jessica until Donna Lyman had explained that CJ felt somehow responsible for Rusty. It took a while for Jessica to convince CJ that she didn't blame either CJ or Jed Bartlet for what happened to her husband in Kazakhstan, but now she felt as close to CJ as she did to the other women on the block.

Jessica also had CJ to thank for her job with Nancy and the Hollis Foundation. With Cindy headed to Berkeley in the fall, Jessica still had forty or more years on this planet and needed something else of meaning in it.

"Okay, that's it. Just rest here as long as you want."

The masseur's voice disrupted Jessica's mental meanderings. Maybe five minutes on the table, she thought, and then the whirlpool.

_Monday; 8:45 AM; Santa Monica, CA_

"Thank you, Daddy. These are good pancakes," Paddy said, smiling up at his father. Daddy put chocolate chips in the pancakes. The only thing Mama put in her pancakes was fruit, like blueberries or apples, but then Mama also made the pancakes look like Mickey Mouse. However, Paddy wasn't going to say anything about Daddy's plain round pancakes; it wouldn't be polite.

"Well, eat up quickly, before Uncle Frank comes." Frank, Joel, and Billy were going to take some of the kids to the zoo today. Steve had offered to take Caitlin if Danny wanted to go, but the Concannon cable went out last night and now Danny had to sit home waiting for the technician to show up "sometime between 9:00 and 1:00." Besides, he enjoyed spending time with his little girl (even when she kicked him in the genitals) and since the weather was warmer than usual and a sunny day was predicted, Danny decided to get out the kiddy pool.

Two hours later, Danny and Caitlin had moved from the hot tub to the toy pool and were seeing who could make the bigger splash when the phone rang.

"Hey, Danny."

It was Li, calling from across the street. There was some sort of emergency at the lab at UCLA and they needed Li to go in and access the haz-mat level. Mei-ling had gone with the others to the zoo, but Li needed someone to look after Chi'an. Would Danny mind?

"I called Steve, but Pammy's developed a fever and he's on the way to the doctor's."

Of course it was no problem.

"You know," Li said as he set his son in the pool, we've had an interesting weekend. Maybe you should turn it into a made for TV movie script. Too bad you couldn't call it 'Mr. Moms'. It's too close to the other one."

"Well, it would be 'Messieurs Mom', if I wanted to be grammatically correct (and Danny would want to be grammatically correct). And I think we managed quite well. So far, we've managed to keep all the kids healthy, fed, clothed, and happy. Now go handle the problem on campus."

_7:30 PM_

"I'm home!"

"Mama!"

"Ma!"

"Hey, you."

_9:45 PM_

"Yes. Oh, yes! YES!"

"You like that?"

"You might say that."

"You want more, Claudia Jean?"

"I want you inside me, Daniel."

"Well, I aim to please, my love."

"Then please aim!"


	67. The Patient Patient

**The Patient Patient**

CJ/Danny, Donna, mentions of Josh, others

Rating Late Teen –

Spoilers through end of series

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

_Early June, 2015; Santa Monica, CA; mid-afternoon_

"What in the world was Danny doing in a chem lab?"

"He was attending an undergraduate curriculum committee meeting, Donna," CJ laughed at the incredulity of her friend's voice. "The dean of Arts, Letters, and Sciences asked him to be vice-chair. And he wasn't in the lab; he was in a conference room under the lab. Not that that mattered to his spleen when the autoclave came crashing through the ceiling and landed on his abdomen."

Two days ago, a construction worker with an urgent need to use the men's room set down his blow torch in the second floor lab, neglecting to shut off the device. When an unsuspecting graduate student came in a few minutes later and turned on his Bunsen burner, the resulting explosion did serious damage to the building. Luckily, there were no fatalities, but the injuries ranged from a few scratches to third degree burns and internal injuries.

Once the ER doctors at USC's hospital discovered the ruptured spleen, Danny was rushed into surgery, most of the organ was removed, and the bleeding was stopped.

"Abbey assures me that the spleen is a very efficient organ and that with what they were able to leave in Danny, he shouldn't have any more problems with infections and immunity than the usual middle-aged guy."

"How long will he be in the hospital?" Donna asked.

"Four or five more days. They need to make sure he's all balanced out with that mineral deficiency. It's a bit of a hassle, having to go to USC every day. I mean, Danny and I pay extra because we wanted to keep the kids with Linda, Danny wanted to stay with Ted George, and I wanted to stay with Scott. And, of course, the UCLA hospital is much closer to us."

"Remember when Josh was shot? All the problems he had because they took him to the out-of-network hospital and we forgot to call for authorization? You won't have any of those issues?"

"Not with network issues," CJ answered. "Again, we have the PPO, and they did take him to USC's hospital because it was the closest. However, Ken Robbins thinks there may be some bureaucratic stuff between the disability insurance folks and the workmen's comp folks. The Fire Marshall hasn't filed the official report, but it's obvious that there was no arson or terrorism involved. And Danny was participating in a work-related activity. Anyway, Ken said that he'll help with whatever we need as far as legal advice and support goes. But - "

" - bureaucrats live to complicate our lives," Donna finished CJ's thought with a laugh. "How are the kids dealing?"

"They miss their daddy. Paddy keeps pressuring me to go to the hospital. If Danny gets the rest of the tubes out tomorrow, maybe he can get into a wheel chair and I can bring the kids to the garden area. Caitlin doesn't really understand. She doesn't remember last fall, when I was so sick. The only thing she relates a hospital to is when Nancy's brother Charlie and his wife had their little boy last month; she keeps asking if 'Daddy is bringing her a brother or a sister'. It's kind of cute," CJ chuckled.

"What about you, CJ? Are you doing okay?"

"I'm fine. Tired, with all the driving back and forth across LA, but fine. Paddy's out of school, of course, but there's always someone here to watch the kids during the day. And Danny shoos me out of the hospital by 3:30 so I can beat the traffic home. The others also take turns going to visit with him in the evenings. Hank, Steve, and Billy went last night and the nurse had to chase them out at 10:30. They were playing poker and watching the Dodgers.

"I'm a little disappointed that we'll have to curtail a lot of our summer plans, at least for a while. We probably won't go up to Albion until August, if at all; Danny can't be away from his doctor for at least six weeks. And Cape May is out of the question, unless Abbey's going to be there."

"Wow, CJ, this sounds serious, like when Josh - ," Donna paused, unable to finish her thought. "Are you telling us everything?"

"No secrets, Donna, but it was abdominal surgery, after all. They had to cut through a lot of important muscle. I'm told it's the same thing you would have gone through with your C-section. Anyway, since we moved Caitlin out of the nursery and into what used to be my office, I've wanted to redo both rooms. The nursery will become my office, or rather my 'personal space', since I don't have a real job anymore," CJ giggled. "Caitlin's beginning to want to be like Pammy. She wants a fairy tale room like the one the guys designed for their daughter. So I think I can stay busy this summer."

"Well, we'll miss you, of course, if you can't come. I guess it depends on whether or not Jed goes to monitor those elections in Thailand. Josh and I were hoping that you could spend some time with us. We're fixing up the attic to be a big bedroom for the boys, complete with a bath up there. Maybe when they get older, we'll subdivide it into separate rooms for each of them, but right now, it'll be like a dorm. We're going to put Joanie in the smaller room off Josh's office. We'll cover up the doorway between the two and cut a new one into the hall. When we bought this place, we had assumed that we'd eventually try again for another kid but we had no idea that the trips would come along inside of a year. However, we're adapting.

"CJ, Josh is really enjoying this time here at the beach. I swear he's starting to look younger; his worry lines are fading, or at least becoming less noticeable with his tan. Every morning, before he goes to work, he takes the kids for a walk along the beach after breakfast. At first, I would use the time to clean up, but now I just pour myself another cup of coffee and go sit on the porch and read the _Post_. Or a magazine. Or one of those smutty novels that Margaret and Carol got us hooked on. Then, when Josh leaves for the law office, I do the dishes while the kids make their beds and stuff. The five of us have the morning together and then I have someone come in to be with them while I do my DNC stuff. By the way, I'm thinking of running for the local school board."

"Really!" CJ exclaimed. "What brought that on?"

"The fact that there is nothing in place to help kids like Noah who are ahead of their peers, other than double promotion. Noah is reading at a second grade level and doing math at a fourth grade level, but socially and emotionally, he's a normal about-to-be first grader. I tell the school that Noah's needs and the needs of kids above the norm are just as important as those of kids who are below the norm. The principal agrees with me, but says the funding isn't there. I intend to change that," Donna stated.

And CJ knew that Donna would succeed. She and Danny were lucky that St. Monica's did provide the extra challenges that the Lymans' school district did not, although, truth be told, Paddy was only slightly above grade level in reading and was "normal" as far as math skills went. However, her son had a very healthy curiosity about things, he excelled at verbal expression, and, to her observation when she was a class mom, he did very well in the social skills area.

"Listen, CJ, call whenever you need to vent, or whatever," Donna continued. "I know what it's like to take care of an ailing man. Sometimes I think they're worse than the kids. Josh had a cold two months ago and I was waiting on him hand and foot. White toast with seedless strawberry jam, in a house where the kids won't eat anything other than grape jelly. Chicken breast poached in chicken stock, not baked or pan-fried. Flat Seven-Up, cold but no ice. Soft-boiled eggs, God forbid I should poach them."

"Actually, ever since the summer I was pregnant with Caitlin, Danny has been the world's most patient patient," CJ laughed. "Chicken soup, ginger ale, Jell-O, and sleep is all he wants when he's sick.

_A week later; early afternoon_

"Paddy, please don't jump on the bed."

"I'm sorry, Mama," the six year old said as he stopped his exuberant up and down motion. "I'm just so glad that Daddy's back home with us."

Danny had been discharged from the hospital that morning and was now beginning the "three weeks or so of mostly bed rest, a small walk each day, work your way up to a half-hour by the end of the month, maybe sitting outside starting on Independence Day" recovery plan outlined by his doctors.

"I'm glad, too, baby, but Daddy still needs to be careful. Anyway, I have lunch ready for you and Caitlin, so why don't you come to the kitchen?" CJ said as she set down the tray holding Danny's soup, sandwich, and ginger ale, making sure that the legs were firmly nestled on either side of Danny's lap.

"Eat with Daddy." Caitlin made her feelings known.

"Please, Mama, can't we eat here with Daddy? Pretty please?" Paddy echoed his little sister's sentiments.

"We've all missed each other, honey," Danny told CJ. "Let's have a picnic on the bed."

"Danny, they'll get crumbs over everything!"

"Then Destiny will clean them up, won't you, girl?" Danny answered, ruffling the neck fur of the yellow lab that was lying alongside him on the bed. Destiny knew who the alpha member of the household was. "I've really missed all of you," he softly added, looking into her eyes.

"Okay," CJ said with a smile. "I'll be back." Danny was right, the children had missed their father and he had missed them. Dr. George had told Danny and her that the recovery would be slow. Danny needed to spend a lot of time in bed at first.

"People don't realize how much they use their stomach muscles until something like this happens," the man said. "Also, the human body needs rest to repair itself and you will be amazed at how much you'll want to sleep. My great-uncle was also a doctor, an OB-GYN, and he had a phrase I've borrowed – what you need most is elixir of time and tincture of neglect."

Five minutes later, CJ was walking back toward the bedroom, balancing three bowls of soup, two sandwiches for the kids, a salad for herself, bananas, two glasses of milk, and one of seltzer on a second tray, when she heard the squeaking sound of springs.

"Hey, buddy," Danny's voice came through the open door, "settle down. We don't want an – oops!"

As CJ walked into the room, she saw the collapsed tray leaning against Danny's right thigh, the overturned glass, and the spreading stain of tomato broth with chicken and rice spreading over the silver grey and pale aqua bed linens and covers.

"Padraic Talmadge Concannon! What did I say about jumping on the bed? Just look at the mess you made!"

"I'm sorry, Mama," Paddy answered.

"I thought you said you wanted to be treated like a big kid, now that you're six. Is that what a big kid does? Come back here; I'm talking to you!"

"Honey, it's just a little food stain. It's not the end of the world," Danny said softly as Caitlin started to cry, Destiny cowered into the bed, and Paddy hung his head, trying to control his trembling lower lip.

Then Paddy, who had run into the master bath, came back into the room, carrying an armful of pale grey towels.

"I'm sorry, Mama," he repeated. "I'll clean it up."

And before CJ could stop her son, the towels were also strained orange.

"CJ, don't," Danny whispered, forestalling another explosion on the part of his wife. "I just want to enjoy being home with my family."

CJ inhaled and exhaled deeply, silently reminding herself how much she had wanted this child. "Let me go get you some more soup and ginger ale."

"Later. The sandwich will be enough; I'm not that hungry."

In the end, Danny finished Caitlin's soup ("Me no like.") and asked Paddy to fill his glass with water from the bathroom sink. Forty-five minutes later, two children and one dog dozed while CJ tried to make herself comfortable. With the three extra bodies, it was hard to find room on the bed that was not damp and liable to stain her shorts a shade of tomato.

"I've missed you, Danny," she whispered. "The house is so empty without you, this bed is empty without you, and I'm glad you're here to fill it."

"Even though I can't, um, 'work on taxes' (Danny wasn't completely sure that Paddy was sound asleep) for another three weeks?"

"We've done without before, haven't we?" CJ said with a smile.

Yes, we have, Danny said to himself, but that was with **you** being incapacitated, not me.

_Five days later; early afternoon_

CJ pulled into the drive, set the brake, and shut off the engine. She remained seated in the Mustang, taking deep breaths. She felt different than she had an hour ago; embarrassment and guilt had replaced anger and shame.

Thinking back over the events of the morning, she felt herself flushing again. Had she really lost it, had she really sworn like that to the children? She must have; why else would Danny tell her to take the Mustang, with the top down, and go for a drive? As she got out of the car, she realized that she should have stopped at the market and bought something for the kids, to go along with the apology she needed to make to them.

Ever since Danny had come home, her son and her daughter had been pushing her buttons. They demanded attention from her. They wanted to bend the rules, especially in terms of being with their father. It seemed to CJ that she was put in the role of "bad cop" in trying to maintain a normal life for the kids whereas Danny was the "good cop", giving in to their demands. Even Destiny got away with numerous canine "sins".

Paddy and Caitlin wanted to sleep with Danny and her. From the beginning, she and Danny had followed everyone's advice and had not allowed the children in their bed, other than when she was nursing them. When necessary, if the kids were really sick, she or Danny had slept in the kids' rooms with them, but the marital bedroom was reserved for marital matters. Of course, when they were on family trips and staying in hotels or with friends or relatives, circumstances might require that they share a room. And the dangerous events of two Christmases ago meant that all the rules were temporarily discarded. So, when the kids started their fussing last week, her first inclination had been to say "no"; but Danny suggested that the kids be allowed to sleep on an Areobed on the floor.

When the kids wanted to continue to eat their meals with Danny, he suggested that they set up a card table in the bedroom. He was able to sit up for the fifteen to thirty minutes it took to eat. Danny was the one who bent bedtimes in order to let the kids finish watching a video. ("It's summer, there's no reason for them to have to stick to a rigid schedule. They'll have a whole lifetime of beings grown-ups; let's let them be little kids while they can.")

Caitlin was with him almost constantly. She insisted on "reading" to him, using magazines and books from Danny's den as well as her story books. CJ and Danny marveled at her imagination as she pointed to pictures and talked of dolphins in the water, sea monsters, and ferocious beasts that Daddy slew. CJ put down a sheet on the carpet and Caitlin drew lots of pictures for her Daddy, showing him as big, strong, and always holding Caitlin's hand. Danny and his daughter also took naps together, one in the morning and one in mid-afternoon. CJ would often find herself sitting in one of the easy chairs in the bedroom, drinking in the sight of Danny and Caitlin's red heads abutting each other on the pillows.

Paddy watched baseball games with Danny, and played checkers; however, the boy also spent time outside with the other children and told Danny that he couldn't wait for his Daddy to be well enough to sit outside and watch him play baseball, tag, kick the can, and Red Rover with the others.

Danny, of course, was no trouble at all. He almost never rang the little bell she had put on his side of the bed, and the few times that he did, he was immensely apologetic for bothering her. He was grateful for her company when she had time to spend with him, and was glad when the guys came to watch the games and to provide male company, but he was equally capable of fending for himself with his books, the newspapers, and the television. He always had time for his son and daughter.

As CJ walked across the courtyard, she didn't hear any sounds coming from the bedroom wing. Danny, Paddy, and Caitlin were probably napping.

"Feeling better?" Danny asked his wife as she entered the room.

"Calmer? Yes. Better? No. I'm ashamed of myself. But, where are the kids? They must be starving," CJ looked around the room.

"Paddy and Destiny are with Diana until tomorrow morning. Caitlin is with Steve and Pammy, also until tomorrow. Love of my life, you obviously need a break," Danny said.

Danny's eyes shifted and CJ followed their motion, taking in the bright blue, green, red, and yellow splashes of paint on the carpet and the nightstand that had been the cause of her earlier outburst. "CJ, it's only stuff. And, anyway, weren't you saying something about redecorating?"

CJ took in her husband's smile, the one he first gave her on that night when he told her that she sucked at relationships but that she could be trained, the one that was scolding, forgiving, understanding, and most of all loving, all at the same time.

"Yeah. How are the kids? I mean, I was pretty outrageous to them. Did I really say - "

"You God damn fucking little bastards?" Danny finished her thought. "I'm afraid you did. I don't think they understood the words, but they got the tone and the volume loud and clear. But we can deal with that tomorrow. As I said, you need a break.

"CJ, we're all reacting to what happened to me. The kids are scared because it's first experience with Daddy being less than all powerful, all perfect. Their sense of security has been threatened. You don't remember, of course, but they reacted somewhat the same way when you were hospitalized and then convalescing back around Halloween. But at their age, fathers are expected to be stronger, to be invincible. And you. You're trying to make everything normal for them, but also for yourself. You're dealing with thoughts about almost losing me and you don't want to accept those thoughts. For myself, I'm also dealing with thoughts about almost losing you and the kids, but whereas you're in 'Oh, my God!' mode, I'm in the 'I'm so grateful for what I do have, so willing to have different ideas about what matters' stage. So, not only do you need a break from the kids, the kids need a break from you."

"It shouldn't be that way. I should be their rock at a time like this," CJ said. "But a break would be nice. Maybe I could get Laura to come sit with you for a while? I'd love to take a long bath; I haven't read the last three _TIME_'s. But I couldn't relax if I thought that you might need something."

"Later. Right now, you have a more pressing need that **I** need to handle, one that is best handled with no one else around." Danny's mouth formed into another smile variation; the one he first gave her the night after Leo had died and she appeared at his door needing friendship, comfort, and something else. "Come here."

"Danny! The doctor said we can't have sex for another month, that we can't even," CJ stopped. Am I really blushing, she asked herself.

"He said that **I** can't, at least not yet," Danny answered. ("Even ejaculating uses stomach muscles. Maybe in four weeks.") "He said nothing about not being able to take care of you, as long as I don't, ah, react. Come here."

"And what makes you think I need 'taken care of', Daniel? This isn't the first time we've had to abstain. Three pregnancies, my illness last fall, the trips. For God's sake, Danny, do you think I'm some kind of nymphomaniac? I mean - ".

"Claudia Jean."

Danny said her name softly, but she immediately stopped talking. Her husband was about to assert his masculinity, something he did only when he felt it absolutely necessary.

"I have been in love with you for the last sixteen years. We have been joined in Holy Matrimony for the last eight of them. I have been bedding you for six months longer than that. You have been used to a regular and, I believe I can say with surety and without smugness, satisfying sex life, both physically and emotionally. And this is the first time that I've been the one who is unable. Remember how I was after Paddy? How I had a hard time accepting your willingness to give to me, but I came around? Now it's my turn to give and your turn to accept. So, I am going to undress you, I am going to kiss you, I am going to play with those gorgeous breasts, I am going to do nice things between your legs. Then I am going to have you kneel over my face and hold onto the headboard for dear life. And you are going to feel a lot better. For the last time, come here."

Forty-five minutes later, CJ stretched and snuggled up against her husband. She sighed contentedly as Danny brushed her hair from her forehead and kissed her temple. Then she remembered something that had struck her when Danny was describing why he knew that she needed what he had first outlined and then proceeded to expertly do to her.

"Bed me? Where did that come from?" she asked, raising herself on one elbow.

"Research," Danny answered. "I'm going to teach a mini-course next year – "The Art of Writing Medieval Romances" – and I've been looking at some of the more popular books. The ones that are most popular use many terms for sex and that's one that resonated with me for some reason. I guess it implies skill, competence, things I like to think I have, at least as far as keeping you happy."

"Oh, believe me, you have them, and you do. Keep me happy, I mean. Daniel Michael Fabian Concannon, you are amazing. How were you able to do that to me without becoming needy yourself?"

"Do what?"

"You know what I mean," CJ said, lightly poking him in the arm.

"Well, I am still recovering from abdominal surgery," Danny laughed. "And for that matter, all those times when you had your period and would kneel at my feet, with your hair spread over my lap, taking care of me. What did you say to me? That you wanted to take care of me, and that you could wait until the time was right? Well, it's the same with me. I'll wait Dr. George says I can bury myself deep within you. I waited eight years for you, CJ. I know how to be patient."


	68. What's He Got?

**What's He Got?**

CJ/Danny, Charlie/Zoey, Nancy/OMC

Rating Older Teen –

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

_July 23, 2015; Santa Monica, CA; 1:15 PM PDT_

"Why cwib, Daddy?"

Caitlin Concannon was confused.

Right before Christmas, Mama and Daddy told her that she was a big girl now and shouldn't be sleeping in the room next to their room. She was going to sleep in a real bed in the room where Mama had her office, the room that shared a bathroom with Paddy's bedroom. Mama would move her desk and the other office things into the nursery where Caitlin had been sleeping. If Caitlin was a brave, good, big girl and stayed in her new room and her new bed, Santa would bring her all sorts of nice things for her big girl room.

So Caitlin tried very hard. She didn't cry and call out for Mama or Daddy at night (well, maybe just once or twice, and Daddy was really nice, bringing her a glass of water and casting a spell to kill the monster in the closet). She held on tight to the caveman doll that her cousin Aisling gave her for her birthday; she also held onto Destiny when the yellow lab, knowing before anyone else that Caitlin needed to feel safe, left her brother's room, came through the Jack-and-Jill bathroom, and jumped onto Caitlin's bed. Maybe she was a little afraid of all the strange and terrifying people and the mean horsies who came to her room in the middle of the night, but she didn't let anyone else know.

Mama and Daddy were right. Santa brought her a nice little bench with a soft padded top to put next to her bedroom window, so she could sit and look outside at the flowers, the birdies, and the ocean, or look through her books and pretend to read. Santa brought her a doll house, and not one made out of metal like Maggie's, but a much nicer one, made out of wood with real glass and real curtains for the windows, and little carpets and furniture that Caitlin could rearrange to suit herself. (It wasn't as nice as Pammy's, with closet doors that opened and closed, with lots of dolly clothes that Uncle Hank sewed hanging on little hangers, but Paddy told her to keep that to herself.) And Santa brought her a table and chair set, and a really nice tea set. She and Daddy had a standing date, whatever that was, to have tea every Thursday afternoon.

So why was Daddy putting a crib (not her crib, that was over with Miss Nancy and Mr. Jesse, but a smaller one) in her room?

"This is Chi'an's travelling crib, sweetie; we borrowed it for Marigail. She's going to be sleeping in here with you," Danny smiled at his little girl.

"Miss Zoey and Mr. Charlie sleep wif you and Mama?"

Danny started to chuckle and then quickly swallowed.

"They'll be in the guest room, next to the garage, Caitlin," Danny answered his daughter. Locking the last side of the portable crib into place, he picked up the mattress and placed it on the supports, then reached for the waterproof mattress pad and the fitted crib sheet.

"Why speakers? Me big girl."

"Yes you are, precious. We're going to set them up for Miss Zoey and Mr. Charlie to listen for Marigail, in case she cries."

"Me big girl. Me take care Mar-gail," Caitlin stated emphatically, then rubbed her eyes and yawned.

"Come on, sweetie. Let's go sit outside and wait for everyone." Danny knew that Caitlin, "big girl" that she considered herself, would not react well to the idea of a nap, and rather than insist, Danny decided to take the sneaky way out. CJ and Paddy had taken Destiny to the vet for her annual checkup and shots; the Young's were scheduled to arrive around 4:30. Caitlin might not want a nap, but her father sure did, so he picked up his daughter, carried her to the courtyard, and set her on the extra wide chaise lounge. He positioned the umbrella to protect them from the sun and sat down beside her. Holding the little feminine image of himself against his side, he started to tell her an age appropriate and highly sanitized story about Grace O'Malley. Five minutes later, Caitlin was softly snoring against her father's chest. Five minutes after that, Danny's snores joined those of his daughter.

_3:30 PM_

CJ smiled at the sight of the two tousled red heads, one fading and peppered with grey, the other brilliant crimson, slumbering in front of her. She reached for her cell and managed to snap a picture before Paddy came tearing into the courtyard, Destiny close on his heels, and the resulting "Daddy! We got crabs!" and yapping woke the sleepers.

Danny looked at his watch. He would have thought them to be home earlier than this.

"Everything's okay with the furkid?" he asked, a bit of concern in his eyes.

"She's about as perfect as a dog can be, Danny. Afterward, when we stopped at the wharf to get the crab for tonight, we decided to eat lunch there and then we had I-C-E-C-R-E-A-M," CJ spelled, not wanting to set off cries of perceived deprivation on Caitlin's part. "Everything's ready for tonight, or will be as soon as I get this stuff in the fridge. I did the guest room last night and you were supposed to get the crib set up."

CJ didn't want to go into a long explanation, but she felt the need to give Paddy a little bit of "alone time with Mama". Or maybe she felt the need for a little "alone time with Paddy" for herself, truth be told. It seemed like only last year that she, an infant Paddy, Danny, Aisling, and Hogan did their beach vacation at Rehoboth and now Paddy was going to start first grade in about six weeks. Ricky Feldman was only two years older than Paddy and last week she heard him tell the other boys that spending time with your mother was "grosser than gross".

"It's not a problem, love; I was just a little concerned. Being Irish, I always prepare for the worst," Danny joked.

"Mama, Daddy, can we swim?" Paddy interrupted them.

"I don't know. Can we?" Danny smiled at his son.

"**May** we swim?"

Danny looked at CJ, his eyes saying "okay by me if it's okay by you."

"Go change," CJ laughed, taking Caitlin from her husband's side and heading toward her daughter's room. "We'll join you in a few."

_4:30 PM_

"Oh, God, that looks great! I wish I remembered what suitcase our swim stuff was in."

Danny looked up to see Zoey, Charlie, and little Marilyn Abigail peering into the pool area from outside the fence.

"No problem, we'll lend you some things, right, CJ? I'm sure the drive down from Palo Alto was hot and tiring." Danny went to open the gate for the Young's, giving Zoey a kiss and Charlie a bear hug as they came in.

Fifteen minutes later, everyone was back in the pool, except for Danny, who was pouring margaritas for the adults. Charlie was describing the drive from Palo Alto to Santa Monica as "dull and boring but at least it's over" (the Young's had taken the inland route). In response, CJ told him that their trip back, when they would visit with Bonnie and Jean-Luc in San Luis Obispo, and then spend a night in Big Sur before returning to Ellie and Vic's place, would be breathtaking, "and you're doing it the right way, driving on the inside of the cliff road."

Danny brought their drinks to the side of the pool and they drifted to the shallow end, laughing as Caitlin tried to show Marigail how to dog paddle. The two little girls, with both water wings and inner tubes, splashed delightedly.

"Why does she like the pool so much when she hates taking a bath?" Zoey wondered.

"Maybe because you always give Marigail her baths at night?" CJ answered. "When Paddy was born, Diana told me to bathe him during the day, so he wouldn't associate baths with bedtime. It seems to have worked."

"Thanks, I'll try having bath time in the morning. Speaking of bedtime, maybe I should put her down for a nap?"

"I don't know, Zoey, she doesn't look that tired to me." CJ looked over at the two little girls. "If you keep her up now, she might go to sleep easier tonight. Then the four of us can spend more time catching up, once the little ones are in bed."

"Okay, CJ, you're the expert."

"The thing is," Charlie interjected, "don't count on Zoey and me making it a long night. As tired as we are, we'll probably crash by 10:00, 10:30 at the latest. We have a hard time adjusting to time zone changes."

"That's fine. CJ and I have had a long day, and we won't be interested in a late night either," Danny said. Then he looked over at CJ and smiled.

CJ set down her drink and quickly ducked under the water. The wet coolness felt good on her hot, blushing face and shoulders. As she held her breath, she remembered how Danny woke her at dawn, nuzzling the nape of her neck with his soft beard and mustache and then, turning her onto her back, proceeded to take her arching off the bed three times with the same facial hair expertly applied to a different part of her body before taking his own satisfaction.

Good sex was only one part of the incredible relationship she had with her man, but it was a very important part. She knew that when their relationship first became public knowledge at the end of the Bartlet administration, many people who knew her only slightly, or merely knew of her, wondered what she saw in Danny. She knew that many men asked themselves the same question that Tad Whitney asked out loud ("That scruffy reporter; what's he got have that I don't have?").

Had she felt like answering Tad, or anyone else, she would have told about Danny's unconditional love, his insistence that her fears not keep them from finding this wonderful new life together. She would have told of his kisses, soft and gentle yet firm and demanding, kisses that from the very beginning foretold the nature of the man who gave them. She would have told of his willingness to let her fly into new things while making sure that she was grounded in her husband, her family, and her friends; she would have told of Danny managing to revel in being the sole source of income for the family while still treating her as a full and equal partner in their marriage.

But the way she felt in Danny's bed was something she would share with only a very few people; come to think of it, those few people knew without being told.

_Next day; mid-morning; kitchen of Nancy and Jesse Muñoz_

"Please, Nancy, don't bother with coffee; tea is fine, isn't it, CJ?" Zoey looked over to the older woman, who was nodding her head up and down. Ten minutes ago, Danny and Charlie had chased them out of the house. ("We'll handle the kids," Danny said as he poured pancake batter on the griddle.)

"If you're sure. I do have it, decaf of course. It's just that right now, the smell sets me off, or rather, sets Bumpkin off," Nancy smiled as she put a hand on her slightly protruding stomach.

"Believe me, I understand," CJ said. "With me, it was chili. Here, let me help you with that." CJ took the little tray with assorted decaffeinated and herbals teas and the plate of bagels from Nancy, leaving her to carry the tea kettle. Zoey got the mugs from the counter and brought them to the table. The three women made their choices from the selection and prepared their beverages.

"Are you having a lot of morning sickness?" Zoey asked.

"Just a little, and it's all first thing in the morning," Nancy replied.

"For me, I don't know why they called it 'morning sickness'; I was sick morning, noon, and night," CJ laughed.

"You're due early December?" Zoey asked as Nancy nodded in the affirmative. "Charlie has a conference at UCLA in the beginning of October. CJ, if y'all have the shower then, I'd love to come."

"I don't want a shower," Nancy said quickly. "I don't want to take the chance, not after - . I just want the next four and a half months to go by quickly. I'm so scared." The last sentence was spoken in barely a whisper.

CJ and Zoey both reached over to grasp Nancy's arms.

"I didn't relax until after the first set of Apgar scores," Zoey said. "Even though Mom kept telling me that my miscarriage was a fluke and that everything was perfectly fine with Marigail."

"Me, too," CJ added. "Especially since with the twins - " , her voice broke, remembering how total joy turned to total terror in the blink of an eye, after what had been, as far as Scott and everyone else knew was a normal delivery.

The three women sat in silence, each remembering their individual loss, remembering how miraculous the process of bringing new life into the world really is.

"I can't help but wonder what I might have done wrong," Nancy went on. CJ and Zoey nodded in agreement. "My mom, Jesse's mom, everyone tells me to not think that way. Well, everyone except Jesse's great-aunt Imelda. She says I should have quit my job as soon as I found out I was pregnant. Jesse told her to shut up. I don't know how I could have made it without him."

"Charlie was my rock."

"Somehow, Danny was able to mourn and be strong for me at the same time."

"Anyway," Nancy said brightly, determined to alter the mood of the conversation and forget, if only for a few minutes, the loss she and Jesse suffered at Christmas, "Diana, Mom, and Mrs. Muñoz know not to let anyone plan anything. I don't even want any used baby things until this little one is safely out in the world.

"But let's change the subject. Bonnie tells me that the Santos' will be coming to San Luis Obispo in ten days. They're really excited about starting to work with 'Road to a Better World'. Sarita Hollis has found them a place to lease in a gated community just outside of town and the Secret Service approved. Matt and Helen want to take their time before deciding on whether or not to move there permanently."

"I know. Helen called me last week. She wanted to know about traveling to Africa, what sort of clothes to take, did I think that Peter and Miranda would get anything out of tagging along on some of the trips or would they just get in the way. Of course, I never had that issue; Paddy was way too young to take half-way around the world."

"CJ, it's still hard for me to believe that you gave it all up so easily," Zoey said. "I mean, I was just a French and Italian teacher in a small school and I needed to get back into it after a few months, if only part-time. And I know how much Mom chafed when she wasn't practicing medicine for those two or three years. You ran the country for my father and then you ran the project for Frank Hollis. You really don't miss it?"

"I miss being with the people; they were, they are a truly amazing group. Maybe it's because it demanded so much, mentally and emotionally. Right now, this is fun. Maybe it's because I didn't have my mother around, but I like to think that Paddy and Caitlin are glad to have me. Maybe it's because I'm lazy at heart and I like not having to put on a bra and heels every day. People are different. Helen Santos really came into her own with her 'Village People' initiative and her efforts to make the White House a family-friendly work environment, but she really hadn't done anything outside the home for the last four years of Matt's time in the House. Your mother kept up her career, at least until the MS came out, while being First Lady. But look at Morgan. She was a high profile lawyer before Gabe Tillman, God rest his soul, picked Sam for lieutenant governor. Now she doesn't practice anymore, but she's responsible for the efforts to get more _pro bono_ work for adoption cases and other civil matters that folks who can't afford lawyers might need. She's always involved in lots of community projects, even with the new baby (Donald Leo Seaborn came into the world in March.) When these ten years are done, I'm sure that she will have thought her efforts worthwhile."

"And who knows what might happen in '18," Nancy said.

"We can only hope," CJ said. "I would love to see Sam and her in the White House."

"From your lips to God's ear," Nancy laughed. Then, as a buzzer went off, she stood up, reached for a bowl on the counter, and began to punch down the dough that had risen in it.

"Whatcha making?" Zoey asked.

"_Pan dulce_ for Sally's birthday party tonight. I've got my grandmother's recipe down pat. Wait till you taste it."

"I won't be there, remember? Charlie and I are having dinner with my G'town classmate Stacey; she's in Marina del Rey. Can you send one back with CJ and Danny?"

"Better she sends one over before the party," CJ answered. "I've had Nancy's _pan dulce_ and it won't last much over forty-five minutes.

"Oh, I talked with Donna yesterday. The six of them have really settled into the beach life. She told me she can count on two hands the number of times she's worn a bra since school let out."

"Really?" Nancy asked.

"Really. Trips to the grocery and two date nights with Josh. And the two times with Josh are the only times she's put on makeup or worn something other than shorts."

"Well, she definitely has the figure for the shorts," Zoey said.

"Come on, Zoey, you can't be more than an eight," Nancy teased.

"In shorts and pants, I'm a ten. I carry it all in my thighs. It's all muscle, I've taken up field hockey again."

"I'm sure Charlie doesn't mind the muscles."

"CJ!" Zoey exclaimed (but she smiled as she blushed).

"Margaret says that John is turning her into a cow hand. She's helped move the herd twice since April. Brian and Hoop love the cowboy life," CJ continued. "Even Bruno joined in when he came down to visit last month."

"It's good for Brian that the two of them get along, and that Bruno and John get along, isn't it?" Zoey commented. "Liz says that she tries to be cordial with Doug's girl friend, even though she's closer to Annie's age, but that Nina doesn't respond to her overtures."

Rick was taking Ginger on a month-long Mediterranean extravaganza, with time in Cannes, Naples, the coast of Turkey, a week on a yacht in the Adriatic, and a week on a private island in the Aegean. Zoey, Nancy, and CJ all agreed that they would not be surprised if Ginger found the trip to be "expanding" in more ways than one.

The Ziegler family was spending some time at the Bartlet farm. "They hadn't said anything when we were up there, right before we flew into San Jose, but Andy was glowing and Toby was grinning a lot, so I think there may be another Bartlet baby in a few months," Zoey confided.

Apparently, Nancy McNally and the Canadian Minister of Foreign Affairs had developed a rapport that went well beyond their professional lives. The two of them were seen vacationing on St. Lucia; pictures taken by paparazzi with telephoto lenses had been printed in tabloids and news weeklies.

"Good for her," CJ said. "She deserves some happiness in her life."

"I always thought she was a beautiful woman," Nancy replied. "Ginger, Bonnie, Cathy, and I wanted to stage an intervention and get rid of those 'nun in modern dress suits', have her hair done, that sort of thing. Once, Mrs. Landingham overheard us talking about it and I thought she was going to yell at us, but she just said that it wasn't the worst idea in the world. God, it's been, what, fifteen years and I still miss her. Delores Landingham and you, CJ, you two were the role models for the rest of us."

"She was always so dignified," Zoey mused. "I doubt my father ever called her by her first name."

"No one ever did," Nancy agreed.

There was a knock on the door. It was Charlie, holding his crying daughter.

"Someone wants her Mommy."

Apparently, Paddy and Destiny got a little too rambunctious playing with each other and bumped the little toddler to the ground when she tried to join in.

After Zoey kissed her daughter's "owies", CJ suggested that they take the kids down to the beach and the pier for a few hours. They asked Nancy to join them, but she said she needed her rest before Sally's party. Charlie and Danny talked Steve and Ken Robbins into a round of golf, so Pammy joined the beach expedition. At first, Paddy was not too happy about being inundated by "all the baby girls", but when told that, "assuming Aunt Diana says it's okay", Maggie could join them, he changed his tune.

_11:15 PM_

Danny looked around and, seeing no one else close by, reached over, quickly kissed CJ's bare shoulder, and said, "Thank you for wearing this dress. I always loved you in it."

"I'm just glad I can still fit into it after six years," CJ giggled. The turquoise blue sundress with the spaghetti straps was the one she had bought at Rehoboth the summer that Paddy was born. She was wearing it with the same southwestern silver jewelry she had bought in Delaware, but in place of the white sandals, she had put silver straps on her switch flops. "And you always say you like me in my clothes, or out of them (CJ skipped away as Danny took a playful swing at her butt). Is there anything you **don't** like?"

"Just the turtlenecks," Danny replied as he grabbed her hand again, the one he had dropped when he swatted her ass. "I love your neck, your shoulders. Anyway, it's such a beautiful night, isn't it? And wasn't that a great party?" Danny asked as he swung CJ's hand back and forth. The two of them were slowly making their way from the Rogers' house at the head of the block to their own place, three doors down.

"Yes, it was. You need to throw me a party like that."

"But, my beloved, you'll not be seeing forty again in this lifetime, or fifty, for that matter."

"Neither will you, Fishboy. But who says we can't celebrate sixty, or seventy?"

"No one. By the way, I'm sorry I left you alone for so long."

"Be sorry for Drew Robbins' fiancée; I talked her ear off about what's wrong with Haffley," CJ laughed. "You, Frank, and Jesse seemed to be in your own little world. May I ask what you were discussing?"

"Someone nominated Jesse as a possible candidate for the permanent diaconate and he's trying to decide if he has the vocation. Fr. Luke told him to talk to a couple of guys like Joe Wolfe and Tony Rutherford, who decided 'yes', and a couple who said 'no', so he picked Frank and me. So we were telling him how we came to our decisions that we didn't have the calling."

"I know your reasons; (CJ and Danny had weighed the issues nine months ago, when Fr. Luke had come to Danny with the question) what did Frank say?"

"Frank feels that his active military status is an issue. You're supposed to be able to continue in your chosen profession and fulfill your role as a deacon at the same time. Frank is very much aware that he could be called to serve overseas on a moment's notice and that the guys and gals over there don't need someone to baptize babies, perform weddings, and preside over funerals. They need a priest who can hear confessions and consecrate bread and wine. As a dentist, Jesse wouldn't have that possibility.

"However, Frank also talked about accepting all the ramifications of the vows, especially the part about not being able to remarry should he be widowed. Frank related it to the folks who join the reserves for the money and then get upset if and when they're called to active duty. And I think I really through him for a loop when I told him that I couldn't accept the idea that, if something were to happen to you, I could never marry again. He said he couldn't conceive of the idea of marrying another woman if he were to lose Nancy. He wanted to know how you reacted to the idea that I would consider finding someone else if anything happened to you."

"And you told him?"

"A less detailed, less intimate version of what I told you when I finally told you about what was bothering me so much three years ago, when I thought that something would happen to me and that I wanted you to find someone else, well, actually, I wanted you to marry Paul, because I felt that you needed a man in your life and that my children needed a father. I told him that I would leave myself open to what God had in mind for me. I talked about Paul, and Clara. Neither of them were dating, neither of them were searching, but they found each other and, to all appearances, are having a wonderful 'rest of their lives' with each other, without taking away from their lives with Alicia and Cosmo. I told him that I felt that Jessica was making a mistake, refusing to consider the idea of someone else in her life," Danny answered.

"Just between you and me, I think that once Cindy goes off to college, Jessica will find herself changing. The fact that she decided she needed to 'do something' and is working with Nancy indicates that. Jessica has a longer 'grief period' than other folks."

"Maybe. In any event, both Frank and I told Jesse to take his time, to discuss it with Nancy, and not to make any decisions until after the baby is born. The diaconate will always be there."

The couple had reached their house and entered the courtyard.

CJ went to check on Paddy, Caitlin, and Marigail while Danny watched the last out of the Dodgers-Mets game with Aaron Feldman, who had been sitting with the children. After paying the young man, Danny stood outside and watched as Aaron crossed the street and walked up the block to his parents' house. At fifteen, Danny was not going to embarrass the boy by walking him home, but he felt that he owed it to Joel and Hannah to make sure that the teenager got home safely. Then Danny checked the locks, made sure that a light was still on for Charlie and Zoey, and made his own little surveillance of the kids.

CJ was just coming out of the bath when Danny entered their bedroom. Danny took in the sight of her in her white cotton night gown. The darker coloring of her nipples and the triangle at the top of her thighs showed through the light-weight fabric and he felt himself stirring with desire. The want must have been displayed on his face, because CJ smiled and blushed slightly.

"I won't be long," Danny said softly and headed toward the bathroom.

Danny took a quick dash under the shower, brushed his teeth, and put on his own seasonal sleepwear, a pair of Kelly green gauze pajama pants.

Returning to the bedroom, Danny saw that CJ was at the dresser, her back to him. Danny saw that CJ's back was shaking and he heard the stifled sobs. Concerned, he approached his wife.

She was looking at the little box that held their mementos of their first-born sons, gazing at the tiny handprint in clay, touching the little locks of hair.

"Darling?"

She told him of the conversation this morning, as she, Zoey, and Nancy talked about their losses and their fears during the pregnancies following those losses.

Wordlessly, Danny pulled CJ into his arms and held her, sharing the grief that although had mellowed, was always in the back of their life together.

As she lowered her head to Danny's shoulder, CJ remembered telling Simon Donovan that his height made her feel feminine. She remembered that until that time, the only other man who had made her feel that way was Paul, the only other man who towered over her height.

Until Danny. Danny was her height, maybe a smidgeon of on inch shorter. But she never felt anything other than feminine, anything other than cherished and protected, with Danny. It was something else that Danny had, that the others, the Tads, the Bens, didn't.

"Come."

Danny pulled her over to the big easy chair, sat down, and pulled her onto his lap. For now, the need to comfort would take precedence over the need to need. For now, he would hold her in his arms. He was a patient man. He had waited eight years for her once. A few minutes of solace was nothing in the grand scheme of things.

CJ sat there, letting Danny's care and concern soothe her. She knew that in a little while, the kisses on her hair would move to her mouth and the hand on her back would move to her breast. She would feel the little tug that ran from nipple to the folds between her legs and she would feel her husband's arousal stirring against her fanny.

What's he got? More than anyone could ever imagine.


	69. Take Good Care of Yourself

**Take Good Care of Yourself**

CJ/Danny

Rating Late Teen

Spoilers through end of series

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

_August 3, 2015; Napa Valley, CA_

CJ pulled up to the stop sign, looked to her right, then to her left. There was a hearse, followed by a string of cars with lights on, the tell-tale sign of a funeral procession, headed south on Silverado Trail. Knowing that it would a good five minutes before she could make her left, she decided to ease her foot (a bit cramped from three hours of driving) and shifted into Park. This would be a good time to check on her passengers.

She looked to her right. One husband, head on pillow leaning against the passenger side window, softly snoring.

CJ turned around.

One man-child; sleeping, Paddy was the spitting image of an old Polaroid snapshot of herself at that age.

One woman-child, this one reflecting her father's gene pool. Caitlin was sucking on her right thumb; she hadn't done that in a while. Linda Tallchief had told them that most kids stopped around the age of three and that while they should praise their daughter when she didn't suck her thumb, they shouldn't yet start making a big fuss over it. Now, if she were still doing it when the permanent teeth started to arrive - .

One canine-child, also snoring. Destiny was moving her feet, as if her doggie dreams involved balls, or possibly a rabbit or a squirrel.

The last car of the funeral procession cleared the intersection, so CJ got into gear, signaled, and made her left-hand turn. Once she was safely headed north toward the vineyard belonging to her sister-in-law's family, CJ turned once again to her husband.

"Honey, wake up, we're almost there."

Danny stirred, stretched, and looked around.

"Why did you let me sleep so long?"

"Because you obviously needed the rest."

By packing up the car last night, CJ and Danny had been able to leave Santa Monica by 8:00 AM and managed to get in two hours' driving before the kids and the dog needed a pit stop at one of the rest areas on I-5. Snacks from the cooler (plus Popsicles from the vending machine) kept the kids happy for another two hours, when they stopped for lunch.

Danny muscles were aching and he was a little sleepy, so he asked CJ if she would mind driving "for an hour or so". Telling her to wake him when they reached Tracy, he climbed into the passenger seat and was asleep before they were back on the interstate.

Danny still tired easily; his doctor had told them that recovering from abdominal surgery was not a "six weeks and done" thing. It might take a full year to get back his pre-accident endurance. If Danny pushed himself, he would wear himself out. Apparently, between the visit from the Young's, other summer activities, getting the van packed for the trip to Napa and then on to Albion, and the morning drive, that is exactly what had occurred.

It was an easy afternoon. Paddy didn't start any rough-housing. Caitlin didn't call out "Mama, fwow up!" (or proceed to do so). Destiny didn't try to climb all over CJ to get her head out the window.

The turnoff for Tracy came and went; CJ continued driving. Having helped Danny navigate the maze of interstates through the eastern bay area, she had no trouble getting through them herself. It was mid-afternoon, not rush hour, and having everyone napping was a big help.

"You didn't have any trouble?"

"No, the kids conked out about a half-hour after you did. The turnoffs were plainly marked. Why, are you surprised I was able to manage? Or disappointed?"

Danny was saved by the bell, or rather, the bark, as Destiny, sensing that their journey was nearing its end, jumped up and looked out the left side window.

CJ pulled into the entrance of the winery and made her way up the winding drive to the main house. Ten minutes later, everyone was out of the car, exchanging hugs and kisses with CJ's brother Randy, his wife Gina, and their two youngest sons, Dario and Renzo. (Destiny was exchanging butt sniffs with the vineyard dogs.) Gina explained that her mother was lying down after having cooked up a storm for the company.

Two hours later, having thoroughly demolished a dinner of antipasto, scampi, vermicelli, eggplant parmesan, and salad, the family settled down on the screened porch at the back of the house. As Gina's mother scanned through the TV remote, looking for the Weather Channel, she stopped for a few seconds on a rebroadcast of "Dirty Dancing". It was the scene where the resort owner was dancing soft-shoe with the band leader.

"I can do that, Nona Bianca! Watch!" Paddy exclaimed as he jumped up and did a very credible version of the old vaudeville art, accompanying himself with a very old show tune.

"_Button up your overcoat,  
When the wind is free,  
Take good care of yourself,  
You belong to me!"_

"A couple weeks ago, the Feldman twins saw one of those old Andy Hardy movies and got the idea to do a show for the block," Danny explained. "It caught on with the other kids, well, at least the ones not yet in college, and the teens coached the younger kids. They did show tunes, some of the popular stuff, some skits, that sort of thing. Anyway, they put on the show for us last week. Paddy and Maggie did that little song and dance he was just showing you. They had little top hats and canes."

"The show was really quite good. Hank helped with the costumes," CJ added. "Little Pammy was all decked out in tight curls, singing 'Good Ship Lollipop'. But you should have been the expression on Frank Muñoz' face when Carmen came out singing 'Let Me Entertain You' and started taking off a glove with her teeth!"

After the laughter died down, Randy stood up.

"I need to ride out to the Caneros acreage, check on the irrigation pumps."

"It can't wait till morning?" Gina asked.

"I'm afraid not, _cara mia_," Randy smiled at his wife and stroked the side of her face.

"It's just that it's been so long since you've seen your sister."

"I know." Then, his face brightening, "Hey, Ceej, why don't you come with me? We've got a new mare, she's really gentle, won't give you any trouble. Assuming you're not worn out from the trip?"

"I don't know, the kids," CJ started.

"Go ahead, babe, I can put the kids to bed when the time comes," Danny interrupted. He knew what it was like to be with a sibling when you haven't seen them in a while. Then he turned to Randy. "It won't be a problem, riding at night?"

"There's a full moon, and it's due to rise in fifteen minutes. It'll be almost like daylight."

Twenty minutes later, CJ and Randy were mounted and riding toward the hills of the winery.

"So my little sister, the one who ran the country and saved the world, is still happy playing mom and homemaker?"

"First of all, I'm not your little sister because I'm a good inch taller than you are."

Randy smiled. It was an old argument. "Okay, my baby sister. You **are** seven years younger than I am."

"Jed Bartlet ran the country and the world wasn't in any danger of collapsing on itself before Frank Hollis gave me money and a free hand."

"But still - ".

And what about you? Running the best winery in California and happy to be a farmer? No wishing you were in the lab, working on new medical isotopes or altering genes to eradicate the illnesses that plague humanity? "

"I don't know about the best, but we make good wine that adds joy to the lives of those that drink it. I work in sun and earth, and I work with my beloved and three of my sons. I'm not as famous as my Nobel laureate sister, but you and me; we've done pretty good for two kids from Dayton, haven't we?

"But back to what I asked before. You're okay with the life you're living now? You're doing it for yourself and not for anyone else?"

"Well, of course I'm doing it for Paddy and Caitlin, to give them the best start in life, or as good as Danny and I know how to give. But as to what you're really asking, no, I'm not sacrificing myself for Danny's ego. In fact, with his encouragement, I'm going to take a short-term assignment from the Hollis Foundation, heading up the search committee for a new CFO. Believe me, Randy, anytime I want to go back to work, Danny would have no problem with it."

"Well, I just don't want anyone taking advantage of my baby sister. Speaking of taking advantage, remember this place?" Randy pointed to a grove of trees off to the left.

Yes, CJ did remember. It was that summer between her sophomore and junior years, when she was working in the winery and Paul was working in the city. He had come up for a weekend and the two of them, looking for a place where they could be together, had come out this way. Luckily, it was right after, and not right before, that Randy and Gina's father had interrupted them. Unluckily, she and Paul were still in a state of undress.

"Ceej, I honestly didn't know what would happen. I mean, I was pretty sure that Paul had long ago, ah, put a certain smile on your face, but I wasn't sure about Luigi, how he would react. The way he talked to Gina right before we left our wedding reception, I know he thought she was still a virgin. And I know he carried a pistol, in case we came across a snake."

"But he seemed pretty understanding. And if I recall correctly, wasn't there some question about Gina's brother Rocky being awfully big for an eight month baby?"

Randy and CJ reached the acreage with the troublesome irrigation equipment. Randy quickly determined that the flow rate needed to be altered and made the necessary adjustments. He picked a couple grapes, handed two to CJ and ate two of them himself. When Randy told her that the crop would probably be at optimum sugar content by late September, CJ again marveled to herself about her brother's knowledge of his craft.

They remounted their horses and started back to the main house. Randy was right – the moon was extremely bright and they had no problem.

"How's Danny doing with the recovery? No complications?" Randy asked his sister.

"Not really. He sometimes pushes himself too hard. Like today; he really wanted to do all the driving. The thing is, when he overreaches, the next day or two, he pays for it. That's why I'm glad you asked us to visit for a few days before we go on to Albion. In fact, if it weren't for needing to get work done on the roof, I would have been happy to skip going up there this summer."

"You should have told us. Rich and Chris were in Oregon two weeks ago, they could have gone there instead and handled it." (Randy and Gina had a set of keys to the place, and permission for them and the family to use it whenever they wished, assuming that CJ and Danny had not already committed it to someone else.) "But when you mentioned that the Young's were coming to visit, we assumed that you would show them the beauty of the northern California coast."

"You forget that they live in Massachusetts, with access to the Bartlet farm outside Manchester. And as far as coastal beauty goes, they're only ninety minutes from Maine. Anyway, with Danny, I try to strike a balance between showing concern and nagging; I don't always succeed."

"He's a grown up, or as much as any one of us guys can be a grown up," Randy answered with a laugh. "You have to give us wriggle room, give us our egos, at least let us think we're in charge of ourselves."

"I just don't want to lose him, Randy. For the longest time, I thought I'd missed my chance. But now, after eight years and two kids, four kids," CJ paused for a second, remembering her two little angels in heaven, "I've gotten used to being this happy and I couldn't bear to lose it, to lose him."

"I know."

"Let's change the subject. Tell me about this girl that Renzo is seeing. Is it serious? Will you be having a double wedding next spring?" Dario was getting married in May to a girl from the next winery down the road. Apparently, it would be the biggest event in the county since the turn of the century.

"Ellen. I think it's serious, but he's keeping it close to his chest. In any case, I doubt they would want a double wedding with Dario and Hayley. For one thing, she's not Catholic, not that it matters, but Dario and Hayley are planning to out-Pope the Pope with their nuptial Mass. For another, her family's from Bakersfield and would probably want the wedding down there."

"Well, if it does happen, then you'll have all five boys settled. In one sense, I'm envious. Danny and I are just starting out, parenthood-wise, and you guys are almost done."

"You're envious? So's Mitch. He told me that sometimes he wonders if he'll ever get grandkids, what with Hogan still gallivanting all over the world with the Navy, and Nelson and Palmer changing girlfriends about as often as they change their bed linen. But you never stop being a parent, CJ. Even Dad, at the end, when he did have those few seconds of lucidity, worried about us, especially you."

They reached the stables. After taking care of the horses, the two of them walked back to the house.

"I'm glad you're here, sis. We're family. We need to be together."

CJ slipped into the room that Paddy and Caitlin were sharing. Danny was propped up on the bed Caitlin was using. An open book lay across his lap; a sleeping little girl rested against his side. In the other bed, Paddy was snuggled against Destiny's back side, his right arm resting across the dog's body.

CJ was the only conscious entity in the room.

She reached down and took the book from Danny's lap. As she reached for the glasses that were slipping from the bridge of his nose, he woke.

"How was your ride?" Danny asked. Then he grabbed the back of CJ's neck and, holding her head in place, kissed her in a way that implied he just might be getting a second wind.

"It was good. But now I'm a bit hungry."

"I think there's still some leftover cheesecake. We had seconds right before bedtime," Danny whispered, lightly pushing her away and standing up. "Go downstairs, get yourself some. But don't take too long."

There was indeed one single serving of cheesecake left in the refrigerator. CJ ate it standing up, straight from the serving plate, with her fingers. Then she washed off the plate and set it in the dish drainer.

Back on the second floor and walking to the room she and Danny were using, CJ noted that the only sound seemed to be the television in Gina's mother's bedroom. Randy and Gina were either asleep or otherwise occupied. Dario and Renzo slept in the converted attic, so she had no idea if they were asleep or out on the town.

Opening the bedroom door, CJ took in the sight of Danny lying on the bed in a pair of crisp white cotton pajama bottoms.

Snoring.

_The next morning_

CJ woke to the sound of birds coming through the open window. In the distance, she could hear the sound of laughter and chatter. She pushed her butt backward, looking for Danny.

Nothing.

Opening her eyes, she reached for her watch.

9:45.

Telling herself the obvious, that she must have been more tired than she thought, she brushed her teeth, wiped over her face with a cloth, and put on shorts and a tee.

Down in the kitchen, Gina and her mother were making cannoli shells. Caitlin was "helping".

Pouring herself a cup of coffee, CJ apologized for sleeping so late.

"Danny said you had been busy this past week and to let you stay in bed as long as you needed. Paddy's off with my brother's grandkids and the dogs."

"And Danny?"

"Randy, Danny, and the boys decided to go canoeing. We've had a lot of rain this summer, so there's a lot more whitewater on the Russian River. They'll be gone all day, I'm sure. There's a new little tea room down in Yountville. I thought maybe you, mom, Caitlin, and I could go there. They're supposed to be very child-friendly. Or we can just hang around the pool."

_8:15 PM_

"How's your tummy, Kitty-Cat?"

CJ stroked the red curls back from her daughter's forehead. Caitlin had insisted on eating the same tea sandwiches and savories that "the big ladies" ate; apparently some of the fillings did not agree with her not yet three year old stomach.

"Tummy better. Me sleepy. Me scared of horsies under bed. Sleep wif me?"

"I'll stay until you fall asleep," CJ answered as she continued to soothe her daughter. She began to croon softly as Caitlin's eyes closed. Soon, the little girl was softly breathing the breath of dreams. Hopefully, there would be no nightmares tonight.

CJ continued to sit on the bed. She was getting a little anxious. The men weren't back from their canoe trip.

While they were at the tearoom, Gina got a call from Dario's fiancée. The guys had decided to paddle the river in both directions and not to wait supper for them. But surely they should have been back by now. However, Gina didn't seem to be worried, and she had two sons as well as her husband in the group.

CJ started at the sound of a car coming up the drive. She heard Paddy's cry coming through the open bedroom window.

"Daddy's home!"

By the time CJ got downstairs, the men had stripped to their bathing suits and were in the hot tub. Even in the steam, it was obvious that their deodorants had been overpowered by the efforts of the day.

"We had a great time," Randy said in response to Gina's question. "We got sandwiches from the outfitter for lunch and then hit one of the bars in Jenner for dinner."

"But I haven't been this sore in I don't know how long," Dario exclaimed. "Dad and Danny might be old," (Dario ducked as his father splashed at him), "but they can hold their own on the river."

"Daddy, you've got a big bruise on your arm," Paddy observed.

"Dario and Danny managed to swamp their canoe, but they dried out quickly," Renzo volunteered.

CJ looked at her husband. He did indeed have a bruise on his arm and unless her eyes were deceiving her, another one on his thigh. His forehead and nose were sunburned.

"Danny."

"Hey, CJ."

Danny stood up and reached over to kiss his wife. There was another bruise on his abdomen, close to the scar from his surgery.

"Oh Lord, Danny! Look at you! You're covered in bruises, you're sunburnt, and you've exhausted yourself! What were you thinking?"

Danny stepped out of the spa.

"That before I became experienced with a kayak, I was experienced with a canoe," he answered quietly. He grabbed CJ's hand and walked away from the group.

The couple had barely left the deck (and were still within earshot) when Renzo turned to his brother.

"Wow, Aunt CJ sure has him whipped!"

"Lorenzo Talmadge Cregg!"

Paddy's first thought was that he and his cousin had the same middle name. His second thought was that Aunt Gina sounded as mad as Mama did when she used all three of Paddy's names.

"Renzo."

Paddy's third thought was that Uncle Randy sounded as stern as Daddy did and wondered if big boys also got grounded. His fourth thought was that although he didn't know exactly what Renzo meant, it would be best for Paddy if he never used those words about his Mama. Renzo was probably too big to be spanked, but Paddy wasn't, even if he was starting first grade next month.

Danny and CJ didn't say a thing to each other until they reached their room.

"I'm sorry, Danny, if I embarrassed you in front of the others, but I was so damned worried and then when I saw you I just - "

"How does it feel?" Danny asked.

"How does **what **feel?" CJ asked in reply.

"How does it feel to love someone so much that the idea of something happening to that person makes you want to protect, to shelter, to yell, to forbid."

"You and the airports and the Mustang."

"You and my trying to resume a normal life after the accident."

"You have to trust me, Danny."

"I trust you, Jeannie, but I also cherish you."

"And I trust you, but I cherish you."

Danny put his arms loosely around CJ's neck and started whistling the song that the teenagers had taught their son. CJ's arms went around Danny's waist and sang the words.

"Take good care of yourself, you belong to me."

They kissed, once, twice.

On the third time, the kiss became something else.

_Several hours later_

CJ stirred fitfully. Waking up, she found herself lying on her back, with Danny's head between her breasts, his left arm over her abdomen and his left leg over her thigh and resting in the space between her knees.

CJ and Danny had been told many times about the various roles that sexual activity plays in a marriage, beyond the obvious need to satisfy desire -- first by the Bartlet's, when she and Danny had gone to New Hampshire for rapid pre-marital counseling, then the experts at their parish's St. Valentine's parties for married couples, and finally Paul, when he and Clara were living on the block. Over the years, she and Danny had experienced them all – comfort, desire for children, release of excess adrenaline, security, frustration, the need to demonstrate possession, even the need to express anger.

But nothing was as sweet as sex that says I'm sorry I hurt you, doubted you, sex that says let me make it up to you, sex that says we can have these little spats (and maybe not so little fights) and still know that we love each other, that everything will be okay.

The sounds of late summer insects echoed in the warm night air. CJ knew that there was no reason to disturb the man who rested on her body. Gina would have taken care of Paddy, tucking him into bed, making sure that the child knew that his Mama and Daddy wouldn't stay mad at each other. And if staying in an unfamiliar posture left CJ more tired than usual in the morning, or if she and Danny wanted to make up again, Gina or Bianca would see to the children in the morning.

So she carefully reached down for the sheet and pulled it up to her waist. When she kissed the fading red curls that teased against her nipples, Danny's head moved slightly and his arm tightened just a little.

And she drifted back into sleep, murmuring, "You belong to me."

---

"Button up Your Overcoat"

Originally from the musical "Follow Through"

Music by Ray Henderson and Irving Berlin, lyrics by B.G. DeSylva and Lew Brown

Button up your overcoat,  
When the wind is free,  
Take good care of yourself,  
You belong to me!

Eat an apple every day,  
Get to bed by three,  
Oh, take good care of yourself,  
You belong to me!

Be careful crossing streets, ooh-ooh,  
Cut out sweets, ooh-ooh,  
Lay off meat, ooh-ooh,  
You'll get a pain and ruin your tum-tum!

Wear your flannel underwear,  
When you climb a tree,  
Oh, take good care of yourself,  
You belong to me!

Button up your overcoat,  
When the wind is free,  
Oh, take good care of yourself,  
You belong to me!  
Boop-boop-a-doop!

When you sass a traffic cop,  
Use diplomacy;  
Just take good care of yourself,  
You belong to me!

Beware of frozen ponds, ooh-ooh,  
Stocks and bonds, ooh-ooh,  
Peroxide blondes, ooh-ooh,  
You'll get a pain and ruin your bankroll!

Keep the spoon out of your cup,  
When you're drinking tea,  
Oh, take good care of yourself,  
You belong to me!

Don't sit on hornet's tails, ooh-ooh!  
Or on nails, ooh-ooh!  
Or third rails, ooh-ooh!  
You'll get a pain and ruin your tum-tum!

Keep away from bootleg hooch  
When you're on a spree,  
Oh, take good care of yourself,  
You belong to me!


	70. Gifts and Guilt

**Gifts and Guilt**

CJ/Danny, Donna

Rating Late Teen – married sex

Spoilers through end of series

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

_September 17, 2015; San Luis Obispo, CA; late afternoon_

"I should feel guilty; I think I'd feel better if I felt a little guilty."

CJ looked over to her right, where Donna was idly moving her arm through the steamy, sulfur-scented waters of the hot springs pool.

"You are feeling guilty, Donna," CJ laughed. "You're feeling guilty about not feeling guilty."

Donna splashed at her companion.

"What about you? You also have a son in first grade. Don't you think you should be there?"

"But, Donna, I was there. I was there for the first day, for the first week and a half, actually, and you were there even longer, 'cause Noah started before Labor Day, right?"

"Yeah, but - "

"And as the mother of two children, I know I deserve this break, so as the mother of four, you certainly de-".

"Okay, okay. You win," Donna sighed. "Besides, lying here, in this warmth, feeling all the gunk just soaking out of my body, it's hard to feel bad about anything. Except I haven't bought the kids anything at the gift shop yet. Or Josh, for that matter."

"We'll have time for that after dinner. Or maybe after breakfast tomorrow."

"I wonder why Frank and Sarita are waiting until tomorrow to hear our final report," Donna mused. "If they're coming by for dinner, you'd think they would want to get it out of the way tonight."

"I don't know, but I'm glad we have one more night. I've enjoyed being away these few days," CJ answered.

"It **is** nice to have the luxury of solitude," Donna agreed. "And to enjoy a nice breakfast with someone pouring your coffee, asking how you want your eggs, instead of asking you for waffles instead of French toast, or spilling milk over the paper. And it's not as if my kids aren't used to having someone else take care of them for a few days, after what Josh and I put them through in DC."

"Amen to the civilized breakfast, every once in a while. Danny cancelled all his office hours for the week and didn't schedule any meetings, so the only times Caitlin is with Diana or Hank or one of the others is his classes. This year, that's a seminar on Monday afternoon, another on Wednesday morning, and two classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He doesn't have to leave the house before 9:00 and he's usually home by 4:30. I miss him, I guess, but I'm also going to miss this resort. I don't know about your room, but that has got to be one of the most comfortable beds in the world. Being able to stretch out across the width of a king is great; especially switching over to cool sheets when a hot flash strikes. And the water pressure in the shower!"

"I know. That's another thing I feel guilty about. I miss Josh for myself, but when I'm not horny for him, I feel no guilt about not being there for him. Does that make sense?"

"Sure."

And it did make sense to CJ. As much as she loved Danny, as much as she reveled in their physical intimacy, she would be lying if she didn't admit, at least to herself, that over the past eight years, there had been times when, waking to the warmth of his breath on her cheek, the gentle scratch of his beard on her neck, the caress of his hand on her stomach, and the insistent pressure of his arousal on her backside, all she wanted to do was go back to sleep. Not many times, twenty at most, but there had been times. It was normal, a part of the new life that the two of them had gotten good at living.

It also made sense because she felt the same desires as had Donna. Not for Josh, of course, (and CJ stifled the giggle at that thought), but last night, she had awakened about two and found herself aching, turning onto her stomach, wondering if she had anything that would substitute for what she wanted other than her own fingers. Ah, well, tomorrow morning, after their breakfast meeting, the limo would come. She would be dropped off in Santa Monica while Donna and three other members of the committee to select the new CFO for the Hollis Foundation would be taken to LAX.

The group had been at this oceanside resort southwest of the college town since Monday night. Under CJ's guidance, they had written the position description and requirements advertisement that would be published next week, had decided that once the résumés (electronic only) started arriving, each committee member would review them and select seven to fifteen applicants that he or she deemed suitable for further consideration. CJ would assimilate the information and ten to twenty candidates would be interviewed by the committee in Hartford, Atlanta, Chicago, Seattle, and San Diego. Finally, the top five candidates would be brought to San Luis Obispo for intensive individual two day interview sessions with every member of the foundation's staff. They hoped to have a new CFO in place by the end of March.

"Thank you, again, CJ, for choosing me for this search committee. I was getting a bit frustrated with the slow crawl of getting things done on the school board; if this search completes on time, it will feel good to start and finish something in half a year."

"When Frank asked me to include someone from the Santos or Bartlet administrations, he said he wanted someone with big bureaucracy experience but he also wanted someone 'out of the financial box'. You're perfect," CJ answered. Then she sighed and stood up in the soaking pool. "I hate to leave this warm, watery womb-like experience, but I think it's time to get ready for supper."

There was a groan from the slender blonde who shared the spa, followed by the sound of another body leaving the water.

_September 18, 2015; Santa Monica, CA; early afternoon_

CJ gathered her purse and lowered the window as the limousine turned onto her block. Looking out the window, she could see Danny and Caitlin in front of the house. (She had called when they were about a mile from the house.) Caitlin was waving furiously.

The limo driver pulled into the drive. While the chauffeur opened the trunk, Danny opened the door and helped CJ out of the vehicle. There was a quick good-bye to the others as Danny took CJ's suitcase from the driver and slipped the man a twenty. As the limo backed out of the drive, CJ was kneeling on the walk hugging her little girl. Standing, she turned to Danny. There was time for for a quick kiss and a glance that said so much before Caitlin grabbed her mother's hand and pulled her to the house.

"Mama home lunch! Me fix!" Caitlin exclaimed as she led the way to the patio dining set tucked in the southwest corner of the courtyard.

The table was set (The forks were on the proper side of the plate, but they were upside down, with the tines pointing toward the edge. When CJ mentioned it to Danny later, he told her that Caitlin said it was easier to grab it. Knowing how Caitlin held her fork, grabbing it in her fist, CJ realized that her daughter was right.) and the plates were already fixed. Chicken fingers and carrot sticks made up the entrée. Caitlin had thoughtfully pre-doused the meat with bright red "duck" dipping sauce. A little cup of apple slices and caramel sauce sat above each plate.

"Here sit Mama." Caitlin pointed her to a chair. Next to the glass of bright yellow juice, complete with maraschino cherry, was a clumsily wrapped package (with almost more tape than paper) tied with a lopsided bow.

"Mama home present," Caitlin explained.

"You bought me a welcome home present?"

"Caitlin make," came the reply. "Open."

Inside the package were two strings of rigatoni, obviously meant to be necklace and bracelet. The uncooked pasta had been died blue and green and the colors alternated.

"How lovely!" CJ said. She took off the cotton big shirt she wore in the air-conditioned limo, revealing a scoop-necked tank top. After kissing Caitlin, she put the necklace over her head and the bracelet on her wrist. "Thank you so much! But don't you want to know what I bought for you?"

"P'lite no ask, Daddy say," Caitlin answered, but her eyes brightened.

CJ reached into her bag ("Purse on steroids" Danny called it), brought out a doll dressed in Native American costuming and the latest Disney DVD, and handed the items to her daughter. Caitlin oohed and aahed for a while, until Danny said that their lunch was getting hot, or maybe cold, but definitely should be eaten as soon as possible.

After lunch, Caitlin was tearing around the kitchen and the family room with Destiny while CJ and Danny cleaned up after lunch. Danny put the leftovers in the refrigerator and came up behind CJ, who was rinsing the dishes. He put his arms around her waist and kissed the side of her face.

"I woke her up early today, hoping that she would tire out and give us a little time before Paddy gets home from school."

CJ heard the slight degree of disappointment in Danny's voice. She turned around and pressed her hips close to him, aware of the semi-hard ridge under his jeans and moved slightly from side to side, knowing that it would at the same time tease and comfort her husband as well as herself.

"Then you shouldn't have allowed her to feed us, and her, all that sugar at lunch. Between the sauce on the chicken and the apple dip, she'll be wired until supper. Maybe we can get her to watch the DVD."

"We can't leave her alone, even if she's enthralled with a movie, CJ."

"No, but we can watch it with her. We can put a blanket over our laps," CJ said, "and give each other han-". Danny's mouth cut off the rest of the phrase.

"I think I'd rather be patient until tonight," he told CJ. "Not that I don't like the idea; in fact I like it too much. I might not be able to keep from reacting, and I'm sure that I would make you scream. Anyway, did you bring me a present?"

"Well, yes, but it, like the other, has to wait for tonight. It's a massage oil that's supposed to 'enhance the physical experience'. But what about me?"

"The jewelry isn't enough?" Danny laughed, running his finger along edge of the necklace where it sat on the rise of CJ's bustline.

"Actually, Caitlin has good taste. If these tubes were lapis and jade rather than spaghetti-" (Danny made a mental note to check with Hank about the possibility; CJ's birthday was only about seven weeks away.) But no, Fishboy, Caitlin doesn't get you off the hook," CJ told him.

"Well, I **did** buy the flowers on the table and I **did** buy a bottle of Bailey's for after the kids go to bed tonight."

Danny continued to trail his fingers across the swelling beneath her shoulders; it sent pleasant feelings shooting down her abdomen to her thighs.

"Well, then, I guess both of us will be saying 'thank you' this evening. And next time, ixnay on the ugar-say, capish?"

_3:45 PM_

"Mama! What did you bring me?"

Paddy rushed into the courtyard and ran up to hug his mother.

"Paddy!" Danny exclaimed. "What did I say about that?"

"Sorry. I missed you, Mama."

"I missed you too, baby," CJ said, returning the hug. Her mother's mind noticed the tear at the left knee of his navy blue pants and thought to herself that maybe she should have used her uniform exchange credits to get some of Paddy's clothes for the new school year rather than donating the credits to the bank for needy parishioners who wanted to send their kids to St. Monica's school.

Last year, there had been some discussion about changing the primary school from navy shorts, pants, and skirts (for the girls) to khaki to help further differentiate the kids from the kindergartners and the middle school. However, the PTO decided to keep everyone in navy and just continue with the different shirts (kindergarten in navy and green rugby-style stripes or green solid, primary kids in navy and white or white solid, middle-school with green and white or blue solid.) CJ had been in the group favoring the status quo; Diana said it didn't matter because at that age, the kids outgrew the stuff so fast, you could barely make it through one school year in the same clothes, let alone five.

In any event, she and Danny had turned in the things Paddy had managed to outgrow before destroying and bought the new shirts and sweatshirts. (Pants and shorts could come from anywhere as long as they were dark navy with no embellishments.)

"At least we don't have to deal with the plaid for a while," CJ had told Danny. "That's the expensive option, the one you have to get from the uniform company. The boys can get shorts in middle school, but the girls have the option of the plaid jumper all the time."

"Ceej, it's only money and we can afford it," Danny had answered. "Don't worry about it. If it's easier to have ten changes for him, get that much."

"But he'll outgrow them by Thanksgiving at the rate he's sprouting."

"Then we thank God for a healthy child." Then Danny had pulled her down into his lap and Paddy's clothing became the least important thing on CJ's mind.

So now, CJ quickly figured out that if she got Paddy out of the pants in the next five minutes, she could fix the rip with mending tape. Therefore, after giving him the archery set (with suction cups in place of arrowheads), she told him to change into play clothes before opening it and setting up the target in the courtyard.

"Paddy," Danny warned, "if you aim at anything other than the target, the arrow won't stick, and, if you aim at another person or at Destiny, everything gets locked up for at least three days. And speaking of presents -".

"I forgot!" Paddy ran into the family room and came back with a little lattice box made of popsicle sticks.

"It's for the stuff that Caitlin made for you."

"Thank you, honey. It's just perfect; now go change."

When the boy came back, Danny helped Paddy set up the target. After fastening the little arm guard ("Believe me, that string can cut. Don't you ever use the bow without putting on the guard."), father taught son how to sight the bulls eye. CJ patiently listened as Caitlin's little mind ad libbed adventures for her new dolly. Destiny retrieved the arrows that missed the target, her tail wagging with happiness at being able to exercise the task imbedded in her DNA.

_8:45 PM_

"Sleep safe, Paddy," CJ whispered as she bent down to adjust the sheet over her son and to kiss his forehead.

"You, too, furkid," she continued, stroking the dog who lay at the foot of the bed. Destiny opened her eyes, lifted her head, and then went back to sleep. CJ had long ago given up on trying to keep the animal off Paddy's bed. ("I slept with Pistol for twelve years." "And look how you turned out.")

As she walked from Paddy's room to Caitlin's, she heard the sound of Danny checking the doors and windows. It was a warm night and the aroma of the steaks and corn that Danny had grilled for their supper hung in the air. (Tomatoes and watermelon completed the early autumn meal.)

The marriage gods had, for the most part, smiled on them today. The afternoon was warm, but not so warm that the kids wanted to use the pool. Donna called about 7:45 to let them know that she had arrived home safely and to let them know that Noah had undergone a rite of passage at school -- his first playground fight. He had a cut on his nose and another on his left hand, but, according to Josh, the other boy looked worse. ("Josh tried to be stern, but he had a hard time hiding his pride. According to the principal, the fight was over politics, with the other boy badmouthing Matt, so Paddy called the child a liar. Then the kid threw the first punch, so he's in hotter water than Noah is, at least at school. Lord knows what his parents are telling the boy about Noah and his evil parents.") Paddy had a full day at school (which is probably why he had torn his pants) and was more than ready to hit the hay at 8:30. Caitlin's lunchtime sugar high wore off in the middle of supper and Danny ended up carrying her to bed before dessert.

"Mama bad dream," Caitlin told her mother when CJ walked into the room, holding up her little arms. CJ sat down on her daughter's bed and sang to the child until her slow steady breathing indicating that she was back asleep. Hopefully, Caitlin wouldn't have another nightmare; CJ's plans for the rest of the night did not include getting up to soothe a troubled little girl. As she got up, CJ noticed that while Caitlin had played all afternoon with the doll that CJ had bought her, said doll was now on the window seat with Caitlin's other ones; as usual, Caitlin's bed companion was the caveman toy from Aisling.

Entering the master bedroom, she noted that Danny had opened the windows that faced the ocean. With the days growing shorter, it was already dark, but being Friday, the sounds of cars driving up and down the beach road and the more muted sounds of music coming from the pier indicated that the night was young.

The bedside lamp on Danny's side was on its lowest wattage and the afore-mentioned bottle of Bailey's, along with two "on the rocks" glasses, was sitting beside it. Danny was on the bed, stripped down to a pair of Notre Dame boxers.

CJ smiled at Danny as she took off her jewelry (the earrings and watch she put on in San Luis Obispo as well as the dyed pasta that Caitlin had crafted) and set the pieces on her dresser.

"CJ, have you ever wanted a vanity set?"

"A vanity set?"

"You know, one of those tables with a big mirror and a chair, for you to do your hair and your makeup?"

"I'm happy with the bathroom, Danny. I can see, and I don't really need a chair. Why?" CJ wondered.

"Well, in my Popular Literature seminar, one of the kids turned in a paper proposal, on the treatment of male reaction to the female bosom. Her idea wasn't that well-developed but it does have potential. Anyway, she presented some examples that she would explore, like the way that the Carol Landis/Marilyn Monroe character in "Valley of the Dolls" committed suicide when she was diagnosed with breast cancer because her senator boyfriend waxes so lyrical about them, a few other things like that.

"But the one that really hit me was from one of the novels that priest friend of Father Luke wrote. The middle-aged man is lying in bed and is talking, to the reader, I mean, about how you can tell whether or not your wife is amenable to love-making by observing her while she brushes her hair, whether she's bare-breasted, in her underwear or lingerie, or a robe. Anyway, it got me to thinking about watching you in undress or semi-dress, doing your hair or your makeup." The last was spoken a bit wistfully, the words trailing off into a whisper.

CJ smiled as she slipped out of her sandals and her slacks. She pulled the tank over her head and the bra straps from her shoulders, then reached behind her to unhook the back. She stood there in her panties, running her fingers through her hair as if she were combing it; she moved to Danny's side. As CJ passed her bag, she reached in for the massage oil. Kneeling on either side of Danny's thighs, she opened the bottle and poured some of its contents onto Danny's chest.

In a few minutes, he was rigid and she was wet. His entry was swift and deep, but once he reached home, his motion was slow and gentle. She reveled in the feeling of fullness and the teasing clitoral friction.

They knew when it was time to leave tender for tempest; over the years, they knew exactly where the line was between hard and hurt; they balanced on that edge until first she and then he spasmed into fulfillment.

Later, they sipped their Irish Cream, from their glasses and from each other's mouths. At one point, Danny shifted and CJ caught a flash of color under his pillow. She reached down and pulled out a pair of her panties. They were not the pair Danny had removed a while ago.

"Danny?" she asked. "Are you borrowing my underwear? Is there something you need to tell me?"

"That I missed you and I needed the scent of you in bed with me, so I invaded the laundry hamper. I don't like sleeping without you, woman. And I don't think that'll change as you continue on this search," Danny told her.

CJ pulled away so she could turn to face him.

"Do you want me to resign the committee?" She tried to keep her voice neutral.

"Of course not!" Danny exclaimed. "I just want you to know that your husband, your son, and your daughter have little holes in their lives when you aren't here." Then, as the thought hit him, "do you want to stop?"

"No, I'm enjoying it. I miss being with all of you too, but for a few days, it's exhilarating to be doing something like this again. In fact, Frank and Sarita asked if I'd be inter-", she stopped in mid-sentence.

"Interested in what?"

"It's nothing," CJ said quickly.

"Claudia Jean." Softly but insistently. Danny put his palm under her chin and lifted her face so he could look directly into her eyes.

"Interested in joining the Foundation's board of directors."

"And are you?"

"I don't know. The board meets once a month, usually for one day, the second Wednesday. Maybe two days every once in a blue moon. Frank said that two of the current directors live in LA, one in Thousand Oaks and one in Pomona. He would send a plane for us late Tuesday afternoon; we'd meet for dinner the night before, have the main meeting the next day and return Wednesday night."

"CJ, listen to yourself. You want to do this," Danny told her.

"You don't mind?"

"CJ, I never told you stop working. I supported your decision because I knew it was important to you to be home for the kids. And I want you to have what you want. Do I like the idea of you not working? Of course that machismo part of me likes it. You're a great mom. But guess what? You were a great mom when you were travelling all over the world checking out roads. You'll be a great mom if you spend 24 hours a month doing this. So do you want to tell the Hollises 'yes', darling?"

"Yes, but I feel guilty about the idea."

"I'm sure it has to do with losing your mom so early in your life; you want them to have what you missed. But they will have it. I mean, we aren't talking about your life in the White House, with eighteen hour days and six day weeks. You want to do it."

"I do; I really do."

"Okay."

Okay," Danny echoed. So, is there anything else you want to do?"

"Yes."

What?"

"It."

It?", Danny asked.

"It," CJ replied.

Then, moving her hand, she demonstrated exactly what "it" meant.


	71. Privilege to Protect

Privilege to Protect

CJ/Danny

Rating Late Teen –

Spoilers through end of series

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

_October 3, 2015; early evening; Santa Monica, CA_

"You should go, CJ, you really should. The kids would be no problem," Diana Muñoz said as she got up from the table.

CJ turned around in her chair to face the other table and noticed her friend heading toward the back of the bar.

"You say that, but you're walking away," she laughed. "That bodes well for my kids."

"I have to pee, and at our age, I can't hold it in waiting for the end of the argument," Diana called back over her shoulder.

"Seriously, CJ," Frank interjected, "you need to go. Look at Danny, he's trying very hard to look non-committal, to have you make the decision on your own, but he's salivating at the idea of having you all to himself for a few days. Hell, all of us are. Not you, personally," Frank hastened to add, "our own wives. You can take our bunch the next week and I can take Diana up to Carmel. We all need second honeymoons."

The other men (and some of the women) nodded in agreement.

Earlier in the day, at 11:30, everyone had attended the wedding of Drew Robbins and his fiancée Becca up in Santa Clarita. The reception immediately followed and had ended in time for the newlyweds to catch an early evening departure to Trinidad for their honeymoon. At the same time, Ken and Laura left for **their** getaway to Big Sur and the Ventana. Ken told the others that after all the hassle of helping the kids and Becca's mom with the wedding, Laura deserved a second honeymoon of her own. ("Actually, it's my sixth or seventh," Laura told the group. "I'm blessed with a very romantic and considerate man.") Desirous of taking advantage of the baby sitters and not wanting the festivities to end, the gang from the block ended up at Harry's and took over three tables at the back of the bar. Harry and his employees kept the drinks and the appetizer plates coming, knowing that when the group finally was ready to leave, there would be a mild argument among the men, each of them trying to grab the bill, before they would end up throwing down enough twenties to cover the tab and provide a generous tip for the wait staff.

The wedding had been advertized as semi-formal, so there was a pile of suit coats and ties in the cars parked outside the bar along with a bunch of heels. (All the women had changed into flip-flops.) There were even some brassieres tucked into some of the purses on the barroom floor.

Danny would be participating in a symposium in Chicago on the 13th; he had since found out that many of his Notre Dame classmates would be at South Bend for the following weekend and wanted to join them, but didn't want CJ to feel "abandoned". It was Jessica that first suggested that she join her husband.

"Go! Go! You could spend some time with Danny's cousins on Mackinac. Autumn is so beautiful in the upper Midwest," she sighed, remembering the days of her childhood and young adulthood with Rusty.

It could work, CJ thought to herself. She had some a pile of resumés to review, but all she needed for that was her netbook and her Wi-Fi. Diana was coming back from the rest room.

"Are you sure it wouldn't be a bother, Diana? I mean, I know that Paddy sleeps over with Maggie all the time, but Caitlin as well?"

"We could put her with Carmen, I'm sure she wouldn't mind," Frank answered for his wife.

"And we could always take her," Steve interjected. "Pammy's been talking about a brother or a sister." Steve smiled over at Hank. Hank was waiting to find out if the latest attempt with the surrogate was successful.

Suddenly, everyone was making plans, pairing up, and discussing options for their own little adults-only breaks. The travel and tourism industry needed to send Ken Robbins a big "thank you".

"If you want my body and you think I'm sexy."

The ringtone on Steve's phone interrupted the group.

"Well, be careful, Jill, and we'll leave a light on if we hit the sack before you get in. And, of course, if you change your mind, call and let us know so we don't worry. And if you need help, for any reason, you call, young lady."

Ken and Laura had arranged with the guys for Jill, who was home from school for the wedding, to stay with them tonight before heading back to Arizona. However, Ken had told the men that if Jill "had other plans", he didn't want to know about it. ("I'm sure that she and the guy she's dating at Tempe are sleeping together. I would hope that my daughter isn't hopping from bed to bed, and I don't know if there was anyone here with whom she was intimate while she was in high school – that's something I went out of my way to avoid learning.")

There was a shuffle of chairs. Nancy, who looked every bit of being six months' pregnant, was tired out and wanted to get home. After counting heads and spaces in cars, Jessica said she would go with them, but Joel said that they could just cram "someone on someone's lap" for the short trip up the hill when it was time to leave. One of the advantages of sending a kid off to college, Joel explained to Jessica, was not having to plan your social life around said kid.

_October 13; 9:20 AM CDT; Chicago, IL_

Her eyes still closed, CJ stretched tentatively under the comforting weight of the down-filled comforter and reached out to the pillow beside her. But instead of finding the soft curls of her husband's head, her hand touched a scratchy piece of paper and something softer, slightly moister, somewhat cooler. Eyes open, she saw the note paper, along with one of the flowers from the bouquet that had been sent by the sponsors of Danny's symposium.

"You were a bit grumpy when I tried to kiss you good-bye, so I decided to let you sleep. I'll try calling at one of the breaks. The weather guy says rain until mid-afternoon. I set up the coffee pot; you just need to start it. Get yourself some room service and stay warm and dry. Love you."

CJ smiled as she read the note and stretched again in the bed. The mattress was firm, with a feather bed on top. Hopefully, she and Danny would put it to better use today than they had last night.

But then, again, when you arrive at your hotel two hours later than expected because your plane was in a holding pattern over Illinois due to ground delays caused by dense fog, perhaps the best use of any bed was consumption of a cup of hot soup, a grilled cheese sandwich, a glass of milk, and two white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies, followed by a short call to children two time zones behind you, a couple of warm slurpy kisses exchanged with the father of said children, and deep, restful, sleep filled only with pleasant dreams.

The dream seemed so real.

She was back in Dayton; it was the winter after her mother had died. An Alberta Clipper ripping through southwestern Ohio combined with a squirrel chewing into a transformer combined to throw their neighborhood into frigid darkness the previous evening. Her father had gathered the four of them into the living room with their sleeping bags, blankets, and mattresses and had built a fire to stave off the cold. He had sent Mitch outside to cut some twigs; roasted hotdogs had comprised their supper, with toasted marshmallows for dessert. Then, bundled up against the frigid wind, her father had gone outside to the porch to use the Coleman camp stove to heat up water for cocoa.

Waking the next morning, she had seen her father shivering as he built up the fire that had died down overnight. He must have heard her stirring because he came to her side. In her dream, it was her father's face she saw, her father's hand she felt stroking her hair; for some reason, it did not seem out of the ordinary that the voice, visible as white puffs in the chill of the room, was Danny's.

"Stay under the covers, baby. It's cold in here. Wait until I get it warmed up for you."

It was so good to see her father again in his prime, his mind not yet shredded by the ravages of Alzheimer's. It was so good to be a little girl again, to know that whatever was wrong, Daddy was there to take care of it, all would be well. Daddy would fix the broken lace in her right skate. And Daddy would hold and comfort her when the pain of missing her Mommy became too much to bear. It was only later that she realized that her father hid his own heart-rending anguish in order to be strong for her brothers and her. It was good to see that Daddy again, and not the one who forgot that she worked for the President, who forgot what month it was, who urinated in his clothing, who forgot that he had a daughter named Claudia Jean. It was good to see that Daddy again, if only in a dream.

While it seemed right in the dream that it was Danny's voice, it longer no longer seemed so now. She and Danny certainly did not have the sort of marriage where one or the other of them confused spouse with parent. Granted, there were times when Danny was sick that she cosseted him as she did the kids, but that wasn't mothering, that was nursing. There were times, usually when she had perhaps bitten off more than she could chew, times when she felt she needed to be superwoman, when Danny would gently but insistently pull her back to terra firma, (and, of course, he had his Neanderthal ideas about her and transportation), but that wasn't Danny being a father, that was Danny reverting to innate hunter-protector mode. No, they were not like some of the couples at church, referring to each other as "Mother" and "Dad" long after the kids had left the house.

About an hour later, CJ was clothed in fleecy sweats, drinking coffee, eating room service bacon, and reading the latest group of resumés that had been emailed from prospective CFOs for the foundation. A burst of rain hit the window panes behind the closed drapes and she shivered a bit (although the room was quite warm) and, thinking of her dream, CJ wished that she and Danny had sprung for one of the suites with a fireplace. Ah, well, the storm was expected to sink southeast later today and they should have clear weather tonight for dinner on the town and for tomorrow when they flew to Traverse City to visit with Siobhan and Liam. And with luck, the weather would be nice in South Bend for the weekend.

The strains of "A Londonderry Air" breached the silence and smiling at the obvious ringtone she had assigned to Danny's mobile, CJ reached for her own phone.

"Hi, honey. How's it going?"

_October 15, 2015; 2:15 PM EDT; Mackinac Island, MI_

"Oh, God, Danny! Look, how gorgeous!"

CJ applied the brakes on her bike and gestured toward the view.

The island did not have any really high hills, but from this particular position on the trail near the fort, the trees parted to form a clearing with a spectacular view down to the water. The sky was a brilliant azure blue, with just one of two wispy clouds. The early morning fog had burned away by 9:30 and you could see not only the hotels near the dock, but across Lake Huron to Round and Bois Blanc islands.

When Liam drove them from Traverse City to the ferry yesterday, there had been a chill in the air, but once they were on the island, the temperature was at least fifteen degrees warmer.

"It takes the entire summer for Huron to warm up, but it's slower to cool, so we have warmer autumns that you might expect," Siobhan had explained last night, when the four of them were sitting outside at 10:00 PM. Liam had laid a fire in the pit, but hadn't yet lit it; the stars were bright in the inky black sky, with only a sliver of a moon, and they were loath to disturb the darkness.

"Well, I did expect it to be colder, but I wish I had put on a heavier sweater," CJ had said, pulling the sides of her cardigan tighter around her breasts."

Danny had slipped off his zip up hoodie to drape around her shoulders. He was wearing a rugby jersey under it and besides, he was Michigan born and bred, a good 300 miles north of Dayton, which, when you think of it, was only 50 miles or so from the Kentucky line. It was practically in the South.

"Thank you, honey," CJ had smiled at him.

"I think it's time for the fire," Liam had said and expertly flamed the kindling and tinder. In a few minutes, the flames were leaping skyward and CJ slipped the hoodie from her shoulders. Donning the garment once again, but noticing that CJ stilled shivered slightly, Danny had spread his legs to either side of the chaise on which he sat.

"Come," Danny had gently ordered, holding out his hand. Seating CJ in front of him, facing away, he had pulled her back against his chest and shielded her with his body. And so the four of them sat in the October air, drinking Irish Mist and exchanging tales of the extended Concannon family. When they finally went to bed, they were tired, but not too tired to make sweet love with each other.

After lunch earlier today, Liam made a trip to the mainland for supplies. There were no paying guests right now, but there were several couples coming in on Friday. Siobhan needed to work some sourdough for the waffles planned for Saturday's breakfast. Laughingly refusing their help, Danny's cousin sent the two of them off on a trip on the island trails, giving them some cookies, a thermos of coffee, a bottle of water, and a blanket for their picnic.

As they were admiring the view in front of them, a cardinal flew past and Danny turned to the right at the flash of color.

"Look this way, CJ."

The tree branches were spaced to provide a perfect frame for the bridge across the straits between Lakes Michigan and Huron. The leaves were a sumptuous mix of crimson and gold, the sky was the same gorgeous blue, and the sun glistened on the green cables and on the golden towers.

The two of them admired the view. Then, CJ turned to face him. Reaching up, she pulled his head toward hers, clamped her mouth on his, and kissed him.

The effect was instantaneous. He wanted her. They had made up for Monday night on Tuesday afternoon, after Danny's symposium; they had made love again after their dinner and night on Chi-town. They had made love last night, and again this morning. But he wanted her again.

They were both old enough to join AARP.

They had made love twice within the past fifteen hours.

They had a very comfortable bed waiting for them two miles away at Liam and Siobhan's bed and breakfast.

But, oh, God, how he wanted her.

His rock hardness strained against his jeans. He could feel the teeth of the zipper pressing into him. There was no way he would be able to sit, let alone pedal a bicycle, without relief.

He kissed her again, searching for the right words to ask.

Suddenly, he was moving. He was being pushed backward. Turning around, he saw a low copse of trees and brush.

From somewhere, he found the strength to stop her.

"Are you sure?"

CJ pushed harder.

"Well, let's take the bikes with us. If someone else comes along. Plus, there's the blanket."

Twenty-five minutes later, after helping CJ put on her panties and jeans, easing the legs over her sneakers, he reached for the food. They fed each other cookie pieces and took turns sipping coffee from the thermos lid. When sounds of another group reached them, they sat still and waiting for the people to pass. After packing up, Danny peeped through the leaves and seeing that no one else was on the trail, signaled to CJ that it was safe to leave the little glade.

_Saturday, October 17, 2015; early morning; South Bend, IN _

Danny eased himself into bed, taking care to not wake his wife. He lay there quietly, waiting for his head to stop its spinning. Hopefully, his headache would not be too bad tomorrow morning (well, later **this** morning). Five minutes ago, when he walked into the room and then into the bath, there was a big glass of orange juice and three extra-strength aspirin sitting on the counter. Just in case, there was a big paper note on his pillow directing him to the bath and CJ's surefire ("as surefire as you can get") prescription to ward off some of the effects of consuming too much alcohol.

Danny turned on his side (and again waited for the world to stop spinning) and pushed himself up against CJ's warm back. Holding onto her seemed to steady the vortex and he thought to himself that it was quite the metaphor for the role she played in his life.

Some second honeymoon he was giving her, Danny thought to himself. Granted, they weren't teenagers, but two nights out of six not making love to her? Yes, there was good reason Monday night. Yes, they had made up for that on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and this (that is, yesterday) morning. And, when it came down to it, yes, there was a good reason for this latest incident.

But still, CJ deserved so much better.

When he and his former suitemates made plans for this weekend, Danny knew it would be rough. There had been several times over the years when one or another of them had not been able to make it back to Notre Dame for the selected weekend.

But this would be the first time that one of them would not be there because his ashes were sitting in a niche at his parish's columbarium wall.

This was not the first "contemporary" death Danny had experienced; this was not even the first Notre Dame classmate to leave this earthly life. But the memories of those years were special and Phil's death hit all five of them particularly hard.

Although the three other wives understood, it was CJ who took charge in the hotel bar. It was CJ that smoothed over things with the bartender when Danny brought out the special bottle of MacDonald scotch, telling the woman that a) there was only one bottle and b) the men would certainly need a lot more alcohol than that one fifth to properly wake their departed suitemate. Then she gave the woman five twenties "in case they forget to tip at the end of the night". It was CJ that insisted that everyone turn over their car keys to their wives (CJ took Tim's as well as Danny's). It was CJ that arranged for several bottles of wine and liqueurs, along with snacks, to be sent to their suite and invited the other women to spend the next few hours with the latest chick flicks on the in-room pay-per-view. And it was CJ that gave the bartender a room number to call if the guys got too obnoxious or made any effort to get out of the hotel by cab or by duping a willing fellow customer.

Later this morning, at 10:30, Tim would say a special Mass for Phil in the chapel. Then they would walk over to the stadium for the game with the Trojans. Win or lose, Danny would suffer the same kind of ribbing Tim experienced when the opponent was Boston College. Later tonight, they would dine and wine, reliving again those wonderful years of the early 80's.

CJ pushed her butt back against Danny's stomach; the warmth and the pressure of her body steadied his gut. As he drifted off to sleep, he thought once again that although he in no way deserved to have her in his life, he thanked God everyday that she was there.

_Sunday, October 18, 2015; somewhere over Colorado_

Hearing the light snores, Danny put down his journal and turned toward CJ. Her reading glasses had slipped to the end of her nose and her head was listing toward her right knee.

Danny reached over to close her netbook. He slipped the glasses from her face and put the tray table back in place. He draped his jacket across CJ's upper torso and, after reclining his seat back slightly to make the transition from seat to shoulder level, lifted the arm rest and pulled her against his side. A strand of CJ's hair strayed up to his mouth and as he moved it away from his lips, he lightly tousled with the locks on the top of her head. It reminded him of the way he had touched her hair earlier in the week.

By the time their plane had landed at O'Hare Monday night, their luggage retrieved, and a cab caught, it had been ridiculously late and they barely had enough energy to eat the light room service meal before they collapsed in the bed.

Chicago was two hours earlier than Santa Monica, but Danny woke early on Tuesday morning, about ten minutes before his alarm was set to buzz. Slipping out of bed, Danny realized that the weather had changed dramatically overnight, because the room was freezing. And yet the air conditioner was pulsing away. He hurried into the bath and turned on the ceiling heat lamp with which it was thankfully equipped and stayed in the steaming hot shower until the heat of the water penetrated his chilled body.

Danny was able, with the help of a penlight, to change the thermostat from A/C to heat and by the time he was ready to leave for breakfast and the symposium at the University, the room had lost some of its chill.

Danny had done his best to keep from making too much noise and CJ slept through everything. Danny wrote her a note, took one of the flowers from the arrangement on the credenza, and set it on the pillow. Bending down, he whispered, "That's okay, stay under the covers, babe."

Normally, when looking at his son in his bed, Danny's reaction was how much Paddy looked like his mother. For some reason, this morning, seeing CJ's head poking out from the comforter, the reversed thought – "Wow, she really looks like Paddy!" – filled his brain (probably aided by the fact that CJ's mumbled "Love you, Danny" sounded an awful lot like "Love you, Daddy") and he ruffled her hair before kissing her forehead. Quietly gathering his things, he had put the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door and left the room.

Now, winging back to California, Danny once again caressed the auburn brown locks and gently kissed his wife. She murmured something unintelligible and put her arm around his waist.

For almost nine years, he had given her the comfort and security of his arm around her shoulders. For almost nine years, she had come to him for those things, to lay her head on his chest when she needed solace, consoling, or the occasional loving reproof. It had been his privilege for almost nine years; it had been his right and his duty, since they exchanged vows over eight years ago, to take care of her.

Danny relished the task. No, he did not want to put restraints or bounds on her; he was not a Neanderthal. (Well, except for traveling; his Celtic genes kept telling him that he was in danger of losing someone he loved deeply to the perils of travel and there was no one he loved more deeply than CJ.) He was proud of her achievements, her Nobel, her intellect. Be it the White House press room, the palace in Oslo, or the hall of St. Monica's, he loved watching her give her passions to her causes. But he was glad that, since the night after Leo McGarry passed, she had come to him when it became just a bit too much to bear.

Danny only wished that she had done so some six or seven years earlier. Had she not been so insistent about the conflict of interest, he could have been there for her when she needed him. There had to have been many times over the course of eight years in the service of Josiah Bartlet that she could have used a chest against which to sigh or cry, a strong arm around her shoulders, burdened as they were with the weight of the world. She surely could, at times, have benefited from someone pulling up the covers over the exhausted body that housed her exhausted mind. There were plenty of times when others had caused her pain and he could have soothed with a kiss on a furrowed brow. (It might have been difficult when he himself was the cause of that pain, but Danny was willing to let that little bit of schizophrenia slide for the moment. Perhaps he would have subconsciously held back. Perhaps he would have not taken that fateful trip to Bermuda, not struck up the conversation with the cricket player, not pursued the Sharif story.)

Danny let himself daydream of a universe in which CJ had said "yes" to the request for dates at the turn of the century, a year into the President's first term. It would have taken a little bit of time, maybe two months, to seduce her into his bed, but seduce her he would. By the time of the MS revelation, they would have been married and awaiting their first child – perhaps a "seven month preemie" – and he could have stood up to Oliver Babish and the House when they questioned his wife's integrity.

When the stalker threatened her life, Danny could have made common cause with Simon Donovan to shield her. And absent any attraction for CJ (or at least attraction on which he could act), the Secret Service agent might not have run his fatal errand to the convenient store.

Would Jed Bartlet have asked a wife and mother to jump off a cliff for him? Perhaps not; having seen the job destroy one marriage, the President might have been leery of risking another one. Perhaps; CJ would still have been CJ, the only one among senior staff capable of rising to the occasion. In that case, Danny knew that unlike Jenny McGarry, he would have been able to accept the reality of the situation, becoming not only Mr. Mom to their by then three children but also the male version of someone married to a Navy officer, someone whose spouse was away for months at a time in service to country. When Toby Ziegler betrayed her, hc would have kissed away the tears that in real life she had to shed in private. He would have patiently bided time until late April 2006, when he would have once again impregnated his wife, and for January 20, 2007, when he would have gently told her that it was her time to kick back, to enjoy being mother to their four (at least, maybe there had been a set of twins) children.

Kids. During the three and a half months of their engagement, they each revealed that in their twenties, they had each wanted a lot of kids, political correctness and population explosion be damned. Then as they each had aged, the dream became that of being the cool aunt, the neat uncle.

Ah, Danny-boy, he told himself, as he had so many times in the past eight years, be grateful for what you do have.

They had talked of adopting, but knew that given their ages, the US agencies would not have let them. They could have gone overseas, but as it was, they would be seventy before Paddy and Caitlin were established in life; that was old enough. True, they could have adopted older children, but even then, the agencies would have questioned the lifestyle.

And as far as shielding CJ from the slings and arrows of the world, there was still plenty of that to do. Danny frowned, remembering the phone call he had received from Mark ten days ago.

"That asshole Bill Rush is planning an exposé on Democratic politicians who betrayed their wives, Danny. He says that will all the stuff coming out about Republicans, turnabout is fair play. Of course, it happens, but the Democrats aren't the ones preaching `morality and values' while abusing them on the side. Anyway, he's really looking at Hoynes and concentrating on the years in the Senate. To my knowledge, the stuff is still buried, but you never know. I wouldn't say anything to CJ if I were you, but you may want to be prepared. You may have different sources than I do, than Steve or Katie."

Danny had thanked Mark for the heads up and, pulling his investigative reporter hat out of the deep retirement in which it had been buried, had circuitously checked out what the right-wingnut was doing, what he was pursuing. Danny's assessment was the same as Mark's – that the events of almost eighteen years ago were still buried – but it was good to be prepared.

The plane shook slightly as they hit a patch of rough air. CJ whimpered and Danny pulled her slightly tighter.

"It's okay, baby. Danny's here."


	72. Operation Hat

**Operation Hat**

CJ/Danny; mentions of Nancy

Rating Adult – they are married, after all

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed.

_November 16, 2015; Santa Monica, CA; 3:30 PM PST_

"Hats!" We need hats, Daddy!"

"I know, Paddy. I've got them on the list. Now buckle your seat belt and we can get to the party store."

Danny Concannon turned to the right and smiled at his son. Although only six, Paddy was already tall enough to sit in the front seat of the car. God, he looked so much like CJ.

"You have the list? The one we made last night?"

"Right here," Danny answered, reaching into his breast pocket. "Hats; balloons; candy cups; Twister game; Pin the Tail on the Donkey; prizes; candles; plates; cups; napkins; tablecloths; mints; M punch; ice cream; chicken fingers; celery sticks; peanut butter."

"And hats! Are hats on the list?"

"Yes, son, I have 'hats' on the list. See, right at the top."

Danny handed said list to his son. Last night, when the two of them were making up the list, Danny had carefully printed the items they would need. With Paddy "officially" learning to read in first grade (although Danny had taught him a few words already), he and CJ made a concerted effort to make sure that they composed anything they might want to share with their son in letters he could read rather than cursive hand-writing.

Over the last two months, Paddy had fallen in love with the idea of being a big brother. There hadn't been any real animosity on his part prior to this fall, other than some jealousy and insecurity right after Caitlin's birth; if anything, it had been benign neglect. But right around Labor Day, Danny's son had gone head over heels into sibling devotion for his little sister.

("Enjoy it while you can," said the voice of reason, in the person of Pete Dieliczko. "Soon enough, he'll be back to calling her something like 'Catgut', torturing her dolls, quote-unquote 'touching her' in the car, wanting the peach rather than the orange simply because she voiced a preference, that sort of thing.")

For now, at least, Paddy was teaching Caitlin her letters and numbers and making up stories to go along with her picture books. He held Caitlin's hands in the swimming pool while she furiously kicked her little legs. Paddy gallantly watched whatever video Caitlin wanted, even when CJ said it was Paddy's turn to choose. He made sure that the doors to the Jack and Jill bath between their rooms were open and night; when a bad dream caused Caitlin to whimper in her sleep, he crawled into bed and spooned up behind her. Paddy even offered to let Destiny sleep in Caitlin's room if she wanted; however, he didn't ask Destiny about that and the dog made her own choices in the matter.

This year, in had been Danny's turn to take the kids trick or treating while CJ stayed home to give out candy. Paddy and Caitlin were dressed as Fred and Wilma Flintstone (Caitlin's choice, of course) and rather than running ahead with Maggie, Mei-ling Wei, and Manny Hammash, Paddy held onto Caitlin's hand, helping her to climb steps and walk down paths. He coached her to smile and say 'Trick or treat' while holding her bag open wide. He reminded her to say 'Thank you' when she forgot. And when they returned home and Danny hurriedly sorted through their loot for a couple of pieces they could eat right away, Paddy put several of his pieces – ones he knew that his sister liked – in Caitlin's pile.

This Thursday would be CJ's and Caitlin's birthday. Caitlin would be three and CJ would be much older than that. "More than this many," she had said laughingly, flashing her fingers five times, when Caitlin had asked "how much birfdays, Mama?" That night, the four of them would celebrate quietly at home.

But on Friday night, they would have the official party that Paddy had planned for his sister and his Mama. Their neighbors, old and young, a couple of the little kids from Godly Play (the during-Mass day care group at church), and their parents would gather at the house. Randy and Gina were coming down from Napa for a long weekend. Paddy wanted Caitlin to have "her best birthday ever!" ("Considering she's only had two so far, it shouldn't be hard to do," Danny told his son.) Following Paddy's plan, they would play games, blow up balloons, eat snacks, sing 'Happy Birthday', watch Caitlin open presents, eat cake and ice cream. And wear party hats.

Paddy looked on the other side of the paper. There were some more things. The writing wasn't as easy to read and he didn't understand a lot of the words.

"Daddy, what's this?"

Danny took the list from his son and, after easing into the street outside the school, glanced down at it.

Beer.

Wine.

Mixers.

Nuts.

Lemons.

Limes.

Olives.

Maraschino cherries.

Cheese.

Guacamole.

Tortilla chips.

Salsa.

Hot appetizers.

Veggie tray.

Danny knew that their friends loved CJ and would be happy to gather to celebrate her birthday, but he also knew that they would be happier if they weren't limited to refreshments catered by a first grader.

Danny eased the car into a parking space outside the party store. They entered the store and, grabbing a cart, started down the aisles.

"Hats! We have to get hats!"

Danny remembered something that Dick Jenkins, God be good to him, once said – "I could never, ever, beat my child, but there are times when I could empathize with someone who did" – and realized that right now, he was now in the same frame of mind. Danny had a feeling that Paddy's "Operation Hat" would not end with the purchases he was about to make.

Danny handed the list to Paddy, along with a pen. As they put things in the cart, the boy checked off the item, including hats for three dozen adults and two dozen children. Then Danny took the list from his son and commandeered the adult beverages. Going to the food section of the store, Danny found the nuts, the fancy cheeses, and the appetizers.

The next stop was the grocery store where they purchased the other food items and ordered a sheet cake, half chocolate, half white, with lots of flowers and "Happy Birthday Caitlin and CJ/Mama", to be picked up on Thursday, along with a small single round layer cake with a similar inscription.

By the time Danny pulled into Hank and Steve's drive (which was right next to CJ and Danny's kitchen door, which made unloading groceries much simpler), it was 5:00. Paddy took three bags with him, but as soon as he entered the house, CJ hugged him and told him to go change out of his school uniform. With any luck, he would be able to wear the pants again without a wash. Then she went to help Danny with the rest of the stuff.

"Wow!" she said, putting an arm around his waist and pecking his cheek, "you must think I'm really worth it!"

"You? Nah. Now, Caitlin, on the other hand - ".

However, the kiss he gave CJ after gathering her into his arms belied the teasing comment.

The two of them emptied the trunk of the car and Danny went to park it in their own drive while CJ went to tell the kids it was a little too cool to use the swimming pool but if they were very good, they could sit in the hot tub for a little bit.

_November 19, 2015; 6:00 AM PST_

"Happy birthday to you."

CJ opened her eyes to stare into the blue ones smiling down at her as the sounds of the birthday song roused her from sleep.

"Thank you," she said and accepted Danny's kiss. "Where's my present?"

"Right here," came the reply as her hand was guided down her husband's trunk. "But I don't think you're quite ready for it just yet."

Danny's mouth trailed from hers to her shoulder, her right breast, her stomach, to her -

Crash!!

The sound of glass and stoneware breaking on a hard surface permeated the closed bedroom door. ("Fuck!" "Unfortunately, not just now, Danny.") CJ grabbed her robe while Danny put on the pajama bottoms he had removed right before he woke his wife and went to investigate.

"I wanted to give you and Caitlin breakfast in bed, Mama," Paddy said, trying to keep from crying. Apparently, balancing a breakfast tray on each hand was not yet in the child's skill set. "I'm sorry I made a mess!"

"That's okay, sweetie," CJ reached down and hugged her son. "It's the thought that counts. Destiny, no!"

She looked down at the yellow lab who was licking at the toaster waffles, syrup, and juice, along with shards of glass and stoneware, that covered the floor. By this time, Danny had reached them and pulled the dog away from the mess.

"You could cut yourself, or eat the glass and get hurt." Somewhere in his mind, Danny knew that Destiny didn't understand the words, but something drove him to explain why he wasn't letting the four-legged, fur-coated kid have the really good food on the floor.

"Mama?"

Caitlin came out of her room, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Her little bare feet headed straight toward the disaster site. CJ rushed over to pick up the little girl before she could step into the mess.

"Why don't we all go into the kitchen and Paddy can start over? It won't be breakfast in bed, but it will be nice," Danny said. "CJ, why don't you put Destiny outside while Paddy and I clean up this mess and try again."

Later, the five of them were heading out the door. Danny put his backpack in the car as CJ, Paddy, Caitlin, and Destiny headed for the Muñoz place and Paddy's ride to school.

"I think you owe me a birthday present rain check," CJ whispered when Danny kissed her cheek.

"A debt I look forward to paying."

_November 20, 2015; 9:00 PM PST_

"Okay, everyone's asleep," Danny said as he entered the family room.

"Does that mean that we can take off our hats?" Diana asked.

Three hours earlier, as the guests came to the party, Paddy met everyone at the front door and welcomed them.

"Thank you for coming to our party for my mother and my sister. How nice of you to bring a present. Please go into the family room and help yourself to punch and chips. We're going to play 'Pin the Tale on the Donkey' in a few minutes. Be sure to tell Caitlin how much you like her new 'My Little Pony' tricycle. And here's your hat."

After everyone had arrived, Paddy led the guests in the games and handed out the prizes. Mei-ling got her tail closest to the Donkey's fanny. Mike Muñoz won the kids' Twister contest and Sally Rogers the adult version. Sophia Johnson, one of the kids from the church group, got the prize for having her balloon stick to the wall the longest. When it was time to eat, he guided everyone to their places and helped serve the chicken fingers and celery sticks stuffed with peanut butter. After Caitlin opened her presents, Danny lit the candles on the cake, the group sang 'Happy Birthday', and everyone had cake and ice cream. Then the younger kids were settled down in front of the television with a Disney video and the older kids played Monopoly.

The four couples from Godly Play left about 8:00 and the youngest of the kids – Chi'an, Dafna, and the birthday girl – nodded off into dreamland. Then Carmen and Steve took their younger brother and sister home, as did Aaron and Audra Feldman with Ricky. Heather Jenkins took the Hammash kids to their house. Pammy, Will Rogers, and the Wei children were bedded on the floors of Paddy and Caitlin's room.

Finally, the adults could pursue grownup conversation, food, and drinks.

"Yes, please! Remove your hats," Danny answered. "I have no idea how he got on the hat kick, but thanks to all of you for putting up with it. I know it was an imposition."

Laura Robbins whispered something to her husband; at first, Ken just stared at her and then began to laugh uncontrollably.

"Okay, share," Hank demanded.

"My wife has had too many margaritas," Ken announced.

"We don't care," Jessica replied, "talk."

"I said," Laura said, then giggled, "that if I replaced the elastic with a longer piece, one that would fit around Ken's hips, he could wear it over his - "

At which point, everyone joined in the laughter.

"Yes, my wife has an inner twelve year-old," Ken said when he finally recovered his voice.

"I'm not sure that it's exactly what Paddy had in mind when he planned the party," Danny said, "but I admire the imagination of Laura's prepubescent child."

Now that the kids were gone, the adults brought out the somewhat risqué cards they had bought for CJ. Some made fun of growing old, some were suggestive, and some were downright dirty. All of them were funny. The women admired thick gold cuff bracelet with pearls and citrines that Danny had bought for his wife's birthday. Hannah Feldman said again that it was neat that not only did CJ and Caitlin share a birthday but that Danny and Paddy shared a birth month. She also thought it was "precious" that Danny had given Caitlin a little Add-a-bead necklace with a single citrine on it. The others were sitting in the safety deposit box down at the bank. By the time Caitlin graduated from high school, she would have enough to be permanently set on an adult length chain.

They talked about the recent city council election, congratulating Billy Rogers on winning again. Billy reminded them that by law, this would be his last term on the council and that perhaps someone else should consider running for his seat in two years.

"Don't look at me!" CJ said.

"Or me!" the Jenkins twins exclaimed in unison.

"What about you, Nancy?"

The group was very careful to include CJ's brother and sister-in-law in the conversation; Wally Hammash asked several intelligent questions about the harvest at the winery and at Napa in general.

After the last of the neighbors had gone, CJ, Danny, Gina, and Randy loaded the dishwasher and put away the leftovers. Danny went to lock up and the Creggs retired to the guest suite while CJ checked on the kids.

Caitlin was slumbering in peace, clutching the little stuffed tiger that the Feldman's had given her. The little Add-a-bead necklace was sitting on the dresser. CJ smoothed back the curls from her daughter's forehead and put a light kiss where Caitlin's father's hair color had rested. "Sleep tight, my baby girl. Mama and Daddy love you very much."

CJ walked through the bath to Paddy's room. As usual, her son had kicked off his covers and was now slightly shivering, so she pulled the sheet and light-weight blanket up to his shoulders. The motion disturbed him enough to wake him and he opened his eyes.

"Go back to sleep, sweetie," CJ told him. "It's still nighttime."

"Is the party over?"

"Yes, Paddy."

"Then I need to get up and clean," Paddy replied, pushing down the blanket and flexing his legs.

"Daddy, Aunt Gina, Uncle Randy and I already did most of that, sweetie; you don't have to."

"But I'm the host; it was my job, Mama!"

"Well, tomorrow, you can vacuum; and take out the trash

. We didn't do that. And thank you for the party. That was a nice thing to do for Caitlin and me."

"Did you really like it, Mama? Did you have a good time?" Paddy settled back on his pillow and yawned.

"I really had a good time, sweetie, and so did Caitlin," CJ answered. "I liked everything."

"Did you like the hats, Mama?" Paddy murmured, his eyes closed.

"I loved the hats, Paddy. Good night and God keep you."

_November 21, 2015; 8:00 PM PST_

"To family, both blood and bond," Randy raised his champagne flute and saluted his wife, his sister, and his brother-in-law. The others lifted their glasses and they exchanged clinks with each other.

After a leisurely breakfast, the Concannons and their guests spent the early afternoon at the beach, taking advantage of the unusually warm Indian Summer day. Danny was scheduled to lector for the 5:30 Mass, so the adults dressed for dinner beforehand and, returning from church, left the kids in the capable hands of Carmen Muñoz and headed for Casa Emilio's. Now, having ordered first courses to share (a cold shellfish sampler and a vegetarian antipasto), the four of them sipped the best bottle of Randy's bubbly to be found in Nancy's brother's wine cellar.

Gina told them that Rich and his wife, Chris, who had married last year, were getting a lot of pressure ("But not from us") about when there might be additions to the family. "My great-uncle Gino is the worst," Gina laughed. "Rich takes it all in stride. ' I'm trying, I'm trying!' he tells the man. Chris just smiles and says that it will happen when it will happen."

Danny asked about the other boys and Gina told them of her sons' lives.

By the time the appetizers arrived, they had decided on their entrées – pork tenderloin for Gina, rack of lamb for CJ, and prime rib for the guys. Randy accepted CJ's good-natured teasing when he chose a wine from another Napa vineyard to accompany the main courses. "Hey, I recognize that I can't be the best at everything, and the Heitz family's Martha's Vineyard Cab Sauv is the ultimate example of that," the man admitted. "But if you don't shut up about it, I'll tell them it's your birthday and they'll sing to you, Ceej."

"Yeah, but then I'd get a free dessert," CJ replied, sticking out her tongue for a second.

"And we might get hats!" Gina added, breaking out in laughter.

(When Paddy found out that his aunt, uncle, and parents were going to celebrate his Mama's birthday for a third time, he wanted them to take their party hats. Danny convinced the child that the restaurant didn't allow its patrons to bring in hats from outside, "like when we go to the movies. We have to buy their candy.")

Apparently, Nancy told her brother about CJ's birthday because when the four of them had made their selections from the pastry cart, the server did light a sparkler and insert it into CJ's chocolate torte. Mercifully, the wait staff didn't come over to sing "Happy Birthday". And no one passed out hats.

Coffee and cognac, but no cigars, completed the meal; the two couples made their way back from Malibu to Santa Monica. Carmen said that the kids had behaved "very well". The teenager thought she heard a sob from Caitlin, but when she went to investigate, the little girl was sleeping calmly.

Telling Randy and Gina to change into bathing attire and use the hot tub, CJ went to check on the kids while Danny walked Carmen two doors up the street.

Paddy wasn't in his bed. Navigating the bath to the next room, she saw him lying behind Caitlin, his arm over her stomach. Destiny was at the foot of the bed. When CJ came in, the dog lifted her head as if to say that all was well and that if the situation changed, the canine would handle it.

The four of them didn't spend long in the bubbling waters. It had been a long day; a fun one, to be sure, but a full one. Danny had locked up when he got back from the Muñoz place, so the two couples walked off in different directions.

CJ lingered in the bathroom, taking off her makeup and brushing her teeth. When she came back into the bedroom, Danny was already in bed, the covers pulled up to his waist. There was a very pronounced peak in the blanket over his groin.

"Are you that horny, Danny? I guess I should be flattered," CJ teased.

Smiling, Danny threw off the covers. CJ looked at the juncture of his legs and laughed.

"When Paddy asks tomorrow, and you know he will, I will truthfully be able to say that I celebrated your birthday with a hat."


	73. Comfort and Joy

**Comfort and Joy**

CJ/Danny

Rating Adult –

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

**Friday December 18, 2015; Santa Monica, CA; 9:45 PM PST**

Danny lay in bed, listening to the slow, steady breathing of the woman whose head was on his chest, whose left leg was draped over his left thigh, and whose shoulders were surrounded by his left arm. He shifted his right leg, allowing his left one to bend slightly as he turned to kiss the top of the light brown (this week) hair spread out over his clavicle. Danny reached over to smooth CJ's hair, and then reached down to trace the track of dried tears that still remained on her face.

Paddy had avoided the flu bug that was going around St. Monica's and which had caused the school to close for Christmas break two days early; however, Maggie was not so lucky, and with the other kids on the block, the ones in public school, still in classes, the boy was bouncing off the walls with unexpended energy, and driving CJ crazy in the process.

So, about 9:00 AM, Danny had volunteered to take the kids for most of the day. The plan was for CJ to spend the time wrapping the pile of gifts hidden in the guest room.

The three of them hit the mall and its Santa Claus line, followed by lunch near the USC campus after he checked in with the department secretary. After lunch, Danny took the kids up to the zoo for a few hours; on the way back home, they drove through Beverly Hills to see the decorated Christmas windows in the stores. Danny told them about visiting New York and seeing all the fancy displays in that city. When pressed, he said that maybe, stressing the maybe, in a year or two they could go back East to visit with Uncle Toby and Aunt Andy at Thanksgiving and see the Macy's parade in person and then look at all the windows. Then, in typical childlike fashion and their sugar high from the cotton candy at the zoo having worn off, Paddy and Caitlin crashed into naps while Danny dealt with rush hour traffic back to Santa Monica.

Returning home, the kids were once again bubbly, but Danny noticed that CJ seemed a bit introspective. She was smiling and responsive as she knelt to hug the two little ones, and she listened avidly to the recitation of adventures as the four of them ate tuna, macaroni, and cheese casserole for supper. But Danny knew that something wasn't right. For one thing, CJ said nothing, not even giving him a look, when Paddy recited the menu for the day (bacon cheeseburgers, fries, and milkshakes at the restaurant, ice cream, funnel cakes, and the afore-mentioned cotton candy at the zoo), and there was no real effort to push the green beans – the only real vegetable presented to the kids all day – at the meal. For another, there was the tell-tale redness in her eyes.

After supper, they were happily interrupted by a call from Randy and Gina, announcing the arrival of another grandchild, and then it was time to get the kids to bed. Finally, after locking up the house, Danny had CJ to himself.

As he walked into the bedroom, he began to ask the question that had been on his mind for several hours, but stopped when he saw her sitting on the bed. Next to her was the box that held the mementos of their twins and in her lap was the picture of the two of them in the christening outfits Abbey Bartlet had bought for the little infants. Someone unfamiliar with the situation, looking at the photo, would assume that the twins were sleeping.

"Jeannie?" Danny sat beside her, slipping an arm around her shoulders.

"I ran out of C batteries for the toys and went to get some. When I came home, there were these two little boys, identical twins, about a year older than Paddy, walking from the door, pulling a red wagon. They were collecting canned goods for the Food Pantry. Danny, they were so sweet. The one on the right told me very earnestly that of course they would take my money, but they really wanted the food – 'even just one can of soup, Ma'am, we want to fill the wagon before we reach the end of the street'. God, Danny, they were so cute," by this time she was crying again, "and it just hit me that we could have had four, instead of two and now, it's been seven years and I miss them so much."

He held CJ as she surrendered to the tears, stroking her back, kissing the top of her head. Then the kisses moved to her face and soon they were engaged in one of the many aspects of married sex – sex for solace. He had made love to her this way when her father died. She had made love to him this way when Brianna died. It was a form of intercourse where your own satisfaction was unimportant. It was a way of saying with your body and your attention to the other's body, more emphatically than any words could ever connote, that you understood what the other was feeling, what the other needed.

Afterward, in post-coital affection, was not the time to tell her that had the boys lived, he certainly would not have impregnated her again within a few months, that Paddy and Caitlin might not be in their lives. So he murmured nonsense words and held her until she had drifted off to sleep.

Truth be told, he had himself, over the years, thought about the twins, prayed for them (although his faith told him that their sinless little souls were certainly in heaven in God, their grandparents, and Pistol), and wondered how his and CJ's lives would have been different had the boys lived, but the heartache of seven years ago had been assuaged by the joy of first Paddy and then Caitlin. CJ and he did go out to the cemetery several times a year with flowers, but he couldn't remember her crying for them since Paddy was born.

Danny wondered if it had something to do with her hormonal fluctuations. Over the past few months, CJ had begun to show "the signs", mostly hot flashes, some uncharacteristic moodiness, and uncertainty in making decisions, and the frequent changes in hair color; the tests that Scott Winkler ordered confirmed that there was no longer anything "peri" about her journey to menopause. Ever helpful, Scott called Danny and scheduled a meeting to discuss "what every husband needs to know". ("Not that I expect you to pull an Archie Bunker and tell her she has thirty seconds to go through the change," the ob-gyn laughed.) Even before the appointment, Danny had googled everything the subject and was trying very hard (maybe too hard, he laughed to himself), to be the understanding spouse. When CJ wondered about sprouting facial hair, Danny joked that he would be more than willing to share his razor. Upon finding out were she to gain weight, it would more likely settle on her stomach than her hips, he said that she could pass it off as a pregnancy and get seated ahead of time when she flew for the foundation. If CJ snapped at the kids, well, he enjoyed being the "good cop". And when she worried about vaginal dryness, Danny smiled and said he knew how to handle **that**.

Anyway, it seemed that once CJ knew what was going on, the emotional symptoms disappeared and, until today, it was only the hot flashes that seemed to plague her.

Danny yawned as CJ nestled further into his underarm and adjusted her leg. He reached down to pull the covers up to their shoulders and drifted into sleep, comforted by the comfort he was providing.

**Saturday, December 19, 2015; 3:45 PM**

"I don't know who is having a better time, the kids or your husband."

CJ turned to Father Eduardo, who had been assigned to St. Monica's in July after Fr. Niko had returned to Italy.

"Oh, there's no doubt. It's Danny. He loves doing it."

CJ smiled to herself remembering not only previous years when Danny dressed up in the red suit, the wig, and the full facial beard in order to give out gifts to the parish children but also that Christmas in the White House right after the president's re-election.

"How do you keep your children from spilling the beans?" the priest asked.

"This is the first Christmas that Paddy has asked the tough questions," CJ replied. "He still believes, unless he's a better liar than his father or I am. Of course, we've always told him that the Santa's we see here or at other locations are stand-ins for the real Santa; this year, Danny told Paddy that he was big enough to know that his daddy stood in for Santa here at church and that we were counting on him to not tell the others, especially Caitlin."

"And she doesn't recognize her father?"

"Not yet. But then, Danny is very good with disguising his voice and mannerisms," CJ replied. "He even fooled me once, until he kis- Of course, that was five years before we became a couple, before we married."

"Miss CJ! Father Wardo! We're out of cookies!"

The priest turned to the little boy who had interrupted them. "Then I'll go get some more, Ethan."

"Actually," CJ said, putting a hand on the man's arm to restrain him, "it's getting close to time for Mass. We need to wrap up the party. Are you presiding tonight?"

"No, Luke is. He's also hearing Confessions, such as **that** is anymore."

CJ hoped she hadn't blushed. It had been quite a while since she had availed herself of that particular sacrament, maybe two years. Apparently, she wasn't the only one. It was a far cry from her childhood. True, her generation wasn't brought up to go every week, like Jed and Abbey Bartlet were, but definitely at Christmas and Easter, as well as "when necessary".

CJ looked over again to the "Santa" area. Danny was just putting the last little girl back on her feet, clutching the stuffed teddy bear that the parish had bought for all the toddlers. A couple of teens from the Youth Group were leading the younger children in Christmas carols, and CJ could see Paddy on the floor, a recovering Maggie Muñoz to his left and Caitlin to his right, lustily joining in on the "fa-la-la"s. One of the other mothers came up to her with a large trash bag and CJ started to pick up napkins, ice cream wrappers, and empty paper cups (leaving the half-full ones to the woman with the big bucket.)

She had just tied off the bag and put it in the big rubber trash can when two arms encircled her waist from behind and a bearded chin connected with her shoulder.

"It was a nice party," Danny said. "I think everyone had fun."

"I'm sure you did when Gaye Beck crawled onto your lap," CJ said, remembering the young single mother in the short skirt and tight sweater. "What did she want from Santa?"

"Nothing I wanted to give her," Danny replied, moving his body as close to her as he dared, given the place and his own feelings for his wife. "I told her to pray to St. Joseph for a good husband of her own."

"Daddy!" Caitlin ran up to them. "I miss you! You no see Santa? See bear!"

"That's a nice one!" Danny exclaimed as he knelt down to pick up his daughter. "Did you thank Santa for your present?"

"Yes. Paddy, show ball."

Danny winked at his son as Paddy played along, showing his father the soccer ball that Danny had given him about forty minutes ago, after ascertaining that Paddy had indeed been a good boy.

"I think there's just enough time to take the presents to the car before Mass," CJ said. "Why don't I do that while you guys hit the bathroom and I'll meet you in church?"

As they were leaving the church after the liturgy, Danny whispered something into CJ's ear and, at her assenting nod, told the kids that they would be going out for supper.

"Dairy Queen!" Caitlin exclaimed.

"Tacos!" This from Paddy.

Reminding the boy that they would be going to Uncle Frank and Aunt Diana's house for _posada_ the next day, Danny suggested pizza.

"Diary Queen!" Caitlin insisted again.

Danny looked over at CJ.

"We can get them the applesauce, I can get the grilled chicken salad, and, to tell the truth, a dipped cone sounds kind of good," CJ told her husband.

And so the family bundled into the car and made their way to the fast food place. Thirty minutes later, Danny was eating the chili that had been scraped from the chili dog that Caitlin insisted on ordering (because Paddy wanted one) even though she had never liked them.

All in all, it had been a good day. In the morning, he and CJ had parked the kids with Hank and Steve. After a trip to the florist and to a dollar discount store, where they bought an artificial wreath, some plastic cars, some crayons, and some mini-footballs, the two of them went to the cemetery to visit the grave of the twins. Tears were shed, but there was also laughter as Danny imagined a household where Caitlin, as the only girl, was alternately teased and treasured by her three big brothers. Before heading for home, the couple stopped for lunch at a little French restaurant where they could enjoy a glass of wine, the house special, some adult conversation, and some romantic flirting.

By the time CJ and Danny returned home, it was time to get ready for the Christmas party at church.

With Mass out of the way (and Danny could hear his seventh grade nun scolding him for thinking of it that way), the four of them would be able to have a leisurely morning on Sunday before heading over to Frank and Diana's for the _posada_. He decided that he would make pancakes for everyone. If he remembered correctly, they had some blueberries in the freezer and chocolate chips in the cupboard. It wouldn't be IHOP but it would be fun.

Danny smiled as CJ came back to the table with dessert – a Peanut Buster Parfait for Paddy, her own dipped cone, and the banana split that Caitlin wanted and that Danny would end up finishing. ("She's only three and she knows how to get whatever she wants from you, Danny. You need to develop some resistance before she gets to be a teen and wants to stay out all night, pierce her tongue, or wear a thong bikini.")

Danny noticed that CJ was staring off into space, the soft-serve starting to sink toward the sides of her cone.

"Penny for your thoughts, Jeannie."

"Just remembering all the fancy-shmancy meals at the White House, the elaborate desserts – and how happy I am now with all this. Just thinking that once I stopped belie-, you know, I haven't really known true Christmas joy until you and the kids."

She reached across the table and grabbed his hand; he remembered the night he reached for her hand after awkwardly hinting at the idea of the two of them sharing this kind of life, right before all hell broke loose because of San Andreo.

Danny didn't want the day to end, so after supper, he drove around so the four of them could look at more holiday lights – down to Palos Verdes and back up on the side streets. It brought back memories from his own childhood, sitting in the back seat with Erin, warm and safe, staring at the lights reflected in the Michigan snow.

"Thank you," he whispered, knowing that God would hear him.

**Tuesday,** **December 22, 2015; Woodland Hills, CA**

"Yes, Paddy, Mama and I are okay. We got here safely. Yes, I saw Maggie and gave her a hug for you. Now you be good for Audra and take care of your sister. Remember, you're the man of the house until Mama and I get back. Love you, son."

Danny smiled at Frank Muñoz as he closed his cell.

"Paddy wanted to know that CJ and I got here safely," Danny explained. "I'm afraid that he is taking your in-laws' tragic accident very hard. He's so afraid that the same thing will happen to CJ and me. Last night, when he said he didn't want us to come up here but he would be brave and that if anything did happen to us, he would, and I quote, 'quit school and take care of Caitlin the way Mr. Charlie did for Miss Deena', I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. He also wanted to be here for Maggie, but we didn't think we should bring him."

Things can turn in just an instant, Danny reflected. Sunday, he, CJ, and the kids had a wonderful afternoon at Frank and Diana's place, enjoying the beauty of the _posada_ songs and theatricals, and then the party afterward. At the end of the afternoon, when Diana's parents came over to say good-bye and to wish them a Merry Christmas before leaving, he returned the wishes and thanked them, especially for the most excellent tamales that Diana's mom had made. Then two hours later came the horrible call from Jesse that his aunt's parents' car had been hit by a semi on the Ventura Freeway, only five miles from their home. Apparently, the driver of the truck had suffered a massive coronary. In addition to Alonzo and Paloma, there were four other fatalities, including the driver of the rig. CJ, Aviva, and Jessica had gone over to Frank and Diana's to finish the cleanup and to sit with the kids until Frank came home that night. Jesse had insisted that he could do it, but with Nancy overdue, the women said that Jesse belonged home with his very pregnant wife.

Today, everyone was gathered for the wake and would be back tomorrow for the funeral Mass. Diana and her siblings wanted to bury their parents before Christmas; they knew that Paloma and Alonzo would not have wanted grief to interfere with their grandchildren's' holiday.

"I know that Maggie would have taken comfort in Paddy's presence," Frank told Danny as he handed him a glass of scotch. "But she has her cousins, and there is no need to subject Paddy to this any sooner than necessary."

"How is Diana managing? I haven't seen her yet."

"She puts on a brave face for the kids, for her family. She single-handedly organized the food and drink. Of course, everyone has been so helpful, so generous. And thank you again for the fruit bouquets. It was very thoughtful."

"All we did was pick them up from Edible Fruit," Danny said with a dismissive smile. "It was so sudden, even if CJ were the baking type, there really wasn't time. Frank, I think I heard a 'But' when you were talking about Diana."

"I'm just afraid of when she finally lets go, when it really hits her. She was so close to both of them."

"You just have to be there for her. I know it sounds trite, that everyone says it, but that's what you need to do. Just hold her, comfort her, respond to her. When CJ's father died, it was different because he had been in severe dementia for so long. In that case, I had to make sure that she didn't feel guilty for not being able to get him out of that facility in Dayton and here with us in time, for not being there at the end. I had to tell her that at least we were spared the inconvenience of getting his body back to Ohio afterward. I had reassure her that she wasn't a terrible daughter, that she wasn't a terrible person for maybe feeling some sense of relief that the ordeal was over, both for Tal and for her. Your situation is more like when Leo McGarry died, so suddenly, on the verge of victory, on the verge of a joyous time. You have to let her know that in spite of the fact that something so tragic can happen without warning, that she is not alone, that she must keep remembering that life is good, that she still has you, she still has her children, she still has her friends. And you need to remember that this affects you, too, and that your friends are here for you when you need to grieve."

"Thank you, Danny, for your advice as well as your support. You are a good friend and I appreciate all that you do for me," Frank replied, giving Danny a one-armed hug.

Danny returned the casual embrace.

"Frank, I'm just glad that I can help you after all the help you have given me. CJ and I moved into the neighborhood as superannuated newlyweds, with lots of experience in our professions and careers but total novices in what we were about to begin. Your help and example as a husband and a father have been invaluable to me, and I know that CJ would say the same thing about Diana. I'm sorry for the circumstances, but I am glad I am able to return the favor. And it goes without saying, but if you need us or anyone to do anything – get you a tree, wrap presents, hide presents?"

"I know, and if I think of anything, I'll let you know. This is my first experience with sorrow in a time of joy, and you have been such a comfort to me, Danny."

**Christmas Day, 2015; 8:45 AM**

"You like, Mama?"

CJ looked down at the elastic bead bracelet in the packet she had just opened. She slipped it on her wrist and smiled at her daughter.

"Yes, Caitlin, I like it very much," she said with a smile.

"Good!" Caitlin exclaimed and then turned back to playing with the new doll that Santa had left for her.

Danny took in the scene around him. Caitlin was still enthralled with her doll. Paddy was going from toy to toy, and if Danny didn't know better, he would have thought his son suffered from ADD. Destiny had abandoned her new ball for the pleasure of tearing up scraps of wrapping paper. Danny started to scold her, but decided that she deserved a little slack on Christmas as well.

Last night, the four of them had attended the children's service at St. Monica's. Paddy was a credible shepherd, although he didn't have a speaking part. Caitlin was part of the shepherds' flock, her red hair contrasting brightly with the white fleece of her costume. (Just a piece of fabric on her back with slits for her arms and tied at her waist.)

The kids' excitement was reaching a fever pitch, but somehow he and CJ had managed to get them into bed by 8:45 and by 9:30, the two little ones were sleeping soundly.

CJ opened a bottle of champagne while Danny brought in the tree from the garage. After decorating the evergreen, they brought out the presents for the kids from the guest room and also the presents they had bought each other, CJ's from the back of the hall closet and Danny's from one of the nooks in his den. The two of them made love by the holiday lights before retiring to their room.

Paddy and Caitlin woke them at 6:15 and by 6:20 the kids were madly ripping open the packages over which CJ had labored. ("I don't know why I bothered with the corners, why I bothering with the bows," she had whispered with a laugh.)

After the kids had finished, CJ and Danny opened their gifts, including the three each that had been labeled "from Santa", and now CJ was wondering if she should start breakfast.

"Maybe in a bit," Danny said, pulling her back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, gently cradling her breasts in his palms, the act meant to be comforting rather than arousing. He breathed in the scent of her hair, freshly washed last night for church but carrying the faint scent of her perfume in addition to those of her shampoo and rinse.

"Did you like your present?" CJ asked. (Tickets for the two of them to take an Alaskan "honeymoon the sequel" cruise with a kayaking trip along the coast.)

"It's wonderful," Danny said, kissing the side of her head. "But being here with you, having all this, is the best present of all." They would spend a quiet day with a simple turkey breast dinner. Tomorrow, the four of them would drive up to Napa for a long weekend at the winery. There would be more presents and a huge family dinner with Gina's extended family. When they returned home, the series of "Twelve Days of Christmas" parties in the neighborhood would be in full swing. (This year, he and CJ had the one on New Year's Day. Danny had already arranged to rent two other large screen TV's. There would be two sets in the family room for all the bowl games and one in the living room for the women who were footballed out to watch chick flicks. The smaller set in his den would be dedicated to video games and the one in their bedroom would be available all the Disney stuff for the kids.)

Fifteen minutes ago, the phone had rung. It was Diana, calling to let them know that Ramon Antonio Muñoz had been born at ten minutes after midnight, the perfect Christmas present for Jesse and Nancy. In an hour or so, CJ would call Bonnie and the two of them would start spreading the word to the other members of the Bartlet Bunch.

Quiet joy permeated his heart. He had known joy before – his Pulitzers, his wedding day, the days that his son and daughter were born. Days like this were to be cherished; soon enough there would be days of sorrow such as those experienced by Diana and her family earlier in the week, such as those he and CJ had faced when they lost the twins. But those days would be endured with the comfort of family and loved ones.

But for now, Danny would revel in the joy of his wife, his children, and friends.


	74. Rock Me Gently

**Rock Me Gently**

CJ/Danny

Rating Late Teen – married sex

Spoilers through end of series

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

**April 8, 2016; 10:30 AM PDT; Santa Monica CA**

"Wake up, sleeping beauty."

CJ's eyes were still closed but she knew.

She knew she was home, in her own bed.

She had a vague memory of getting off the Hollis jet late last night (or was it early this morning?) at the Santa Monica city airport.

She had a vague memory of kissing Danny and letting him help her into the car.

She had a vague memory of being carried into the house, where Frank Muñoz, who had been sitting with the kids while Danny was gone, laughed and made some guy-to-guy comment to Danny before heading home.

She had a vague memory of insisting on being carried into the kids' rooms, to see for herself that Caitlin, Paddy, and Destiny were sleeping peacefully and were in apparent good health.

After that, even her vague memories were non-existent.

CJ opened her eyes at the same time as her other senses began to check in with her brain. Other than the sounds of the outside world – seagulls and light traffic – there was silence. Looking down at her body, she saw that she was in the top half of a pair of cotton pajamas and realized that Danny had undressed her and put her to bed. Looking up, she saw the bottom half of the pajamas on Danny's body. It was the pair she had bought him for Christmas, with multi-colored goldfish on a white background. (Whenever possible, she and Danny tried to find each other little gifts that reflected Gail and the part she had played in their lives.)

Danny was holding a tray.

"Breakfast in bed," he said with a smile.

CJ smiled as she stretched.

"How sweet," she said, pushing herself up against the headboard as Danny bent down to set the tray across her lap. It held two cups of coffee, two glasses of juice, toasted bagels spread with cream cheese, some slices of bacon, and two bowls of raspberries.

"You missed me?" CJ asked as Danny sat down on the bed beside her.

"Maybe just a little."

"I know Paddy's in school, but Caitlin?"

"Is with Hank and Pammy. He took the girls to the studio with him. He's working on the new Colby Smathers movie and is doing fittings today. Hank knew that the girls would go crazy to meet her. Hank says that for a child actress, Colby is very well behaved, by the way, so she won't be a bad influence on our daughter. The fact that it gets her out of the house until mid-afternoon is just serendipity," Danny answered. "She and Paddy came in this morning to kiss you hello and good-bye, but you slept through it. I explained to them that you had been up for twenty hours yesterday and were really sleepy. I told them that we would have a special 'welcome home' this afternoon and that I was sure that you had brought them something really special from Montreal."

Maybe that explained the bits and pieces of the weird dream CJ remembered. She was a goldfish on the bottom of the ocean floor, with a bright purple octopus for a boyfriend, a boyfriend who slobbered all over her and hugged her with all his tentacles.

"I did. I also brought something special for you. But you have to wait, too, at least until I eat something. I'm still three hours ahead of you," CJ told her husband as she reached for one of the bagel halves.

After Christmas, CJ and Danny told Frank and Sarita Hollis that she would be willing to join the Hollis Foundation board after her committee had finalized the CFO selection. Frank welcomed her decision, but told her that the first meeting after that, the one in April, would not be in San Luis Obispo. The board members would be travelling to Montreal, to McGill. The California contingent would fly up from San Luis Obispo on Monday night. The board would meet with the Canadian scientists for three days and would leave Montreal at 8:00 PM. Rather than send the others home in limos, the jet would make stops in San Francisco, San Jose, Santa Monica, and Orange County before ending up at home base.

"If you'd rather wait, I'd understand," Frank said somewhat apologetically. "It would still be cold up there, not exactly tourist season."

But CJ was born and bred in Ohio and although she loved living in southern California, she sometimes missed the cold, missed the seasons. She told the couple that she was on board for the meeting and the trip.

CJ and Danny ate their breakfast and caught up on the past three days.

The meetings at McGill were intense, and it took half of the first day for CJ to get back up to speed, but she found the process exhilarating and was more sure than ever that returning to the world of the Foundation was the right decision for her and the family. Matt and Helen Santos were doing a great job running "Road to a Better World". Bonnie told her that Jean-Luc would be taking over the chair of the French department again at the end of the academic year. Everyone asked about Nancy and the baby. Although the days were busy with meetings and presentations, there was still some down time and CJ was able to rent some skates and make use of the outside rink that was part of the resort complex where they were meeting.

Between assigning independent research and arranging for a guest lecturer, Danny had been able to spend the past three days, and today, at home. It was a cram course in being an at-home parent. He drove the kids to school on Tuesday morning, then spent the daytime hours with Caitlin, having a tea party and playing with her Barbies. On Wednesday afternoon, he helped out with Paddy's field trip to the Los Angeles Times, where his reporter past came in very handy. Of course, this was not the first time that he had done any of this; the life of a university professor allowed him to participate in the children's lives with more frequency than some of the other parents were able to do so. However, the other times were always seen as something to be worked around his other obligations.

"So, do you want me to ask Frank for a full-time job? Are you ready to retire from teaching after only three years?" CJ joked.

Danny assured CJ that he had no immediate plans to become a full-time house-husband. For one thing, he said teasingly, he liked "living the 1950's life with a little woman at my beck and call". Then he ducked to avoid the pillow that CJ threw in his direction.

CJ munched on another bagel and watched Danny as he told her of the other news of the block. Suddenly, she realized how lucky she was. Suddenly, she realized how much she loved this man, this man who had waited almost a decade for her, this man who had led her to realize that she could do anything she wanted, this man who supported her in whatever she wanted to do, this man who had given her the gift of motherhood. Suddenly, it hit her full force how close she had come to missing all this. Suddenly, it hit her full force that even now, this life could be taken from her at any minute. Suddenly, she realized that she needed the protection, the reassurance, that only this man could provide.

"Love me, Danny," she said in a hoarse whisper. "Please love me."

Danny's eyes darkened to a deep sapphire as he lifted the bed tray from her lap and set it on the floor. He pulled her into his arms into a big bear hug and crushed his mouth on hers.

CJ felt the warm strength of his arms envelope her into security and felt herself being drawn into the magic of his mouth, into the kiss that, from the very first time so many years ago, never failed to bring her to excitement and need, to cause her nipples to tighten and her genitalia to pulse.

Danny pulled the two of them to their sides on the bed. His left arm continued to hold her tight against him while his right shifted down her back. His right hand slipped under the back elastic of her panties, pulled them down and off her legs, and returning to her butt, moved between her thighs from the back and teased against her already throbbing center.

CJ continued to lose herself in his kiss and the comfort of his arm around her. She mewled in protest when his fingers stopped their dance against her, but sighed in ecstasy when, after pulling off his pajama bottoms, Danny thrust his rock hardness into her, touching every last millimeter inside her. Danny's right hand returned to her backside and held her tight against him, his upper leg scissoring between hers.

Danny's mouth continued its undulating seduction. His left arm continued its protective embrace. His right hand with its splayed fingers possessed her butt with authority, gentleness, and more than just a little sense of exotic sensuality. His gigantic silky steel expanded her more fully than ever, and his pubic bone gave her the hardness she needed to push and throb against for satisfaction.

For all its intensity, she felt cosseted and cherished.

"_Rock me gently  
Rock me slowly  
Take it easy  
Don't you know  
That I have never been loved like this before"_

She didn't know how old the tune was, only that she was in high school when it was a hit. But it encapsulated this particular sexual interlude with her husband so completely that, were her lips not so thoroughly under the control of Danny's mouth, she would have burst into song.

Then Danny clutched her even tighter to his groin and moved even closer into her. The two of them exploded into a mutual climax that left them both quaking into half-consciousness.

It took them a couple of minutes to catch their breath, to steady their racing hearts. CJ could feel Danny softening inside her and her face must have reflected some disappointment, because the hand that had been possessing her posterior moved over her hip and into her curls. The resulting fireworks were muted, but two gentle orgasms later, CJ sighed in contentment.

"Do we have time for a nap?" CJ asked as Danny gently pulled away from her and shifted into his sleeping position.

"Hank said he would take the girls to lunch and would call before he brought them home. The man is a hopeless romantic, gay, straight, whatever. I think that if Destiny were capable of having a season, he would be looking for guy dogs for her."

**3:45 PM**

"I figured it would be best to wait until Paddy got home," Hank said. "I know three year-olds. Caitlin wouldn't be able to wait for Paddy before demanding her present. And then when her brother came home, she would forget and expect another present. The solution is for both of them to get home at the same time."

Hank explained why he had taken the girls on a ride after lunch, ending up at St. Monica's as the elementary school was dismissing for the day and then following Diana as she drove back to the block with the kids.

Danny thanked his neighbor as the two of them watched Paddy and Caitlin overwhelm his kneeling wife.

"Yes, I missed you! Did you miss me?"

"Presents?" Caitlin asked.

"Yes, I have presents," CJ laughed. "Thank you, Hank, for everything. Let's go to the family room. Daddy will join us as soon as he sees Uncle Hank to the door."

**5:30 PM**

"Well, I suppose I should think about putting together some supper," CJ sighed.

"No, you shouldn't. I've got everything under control," Danny answered. "I have some leftovers from earlier in the week."

"Pizza or spaghetti?" CJ asked.

"Neither. Would you prefer chicken or meatloaf?"

The two of them were on one of the chaises in the courtyard, CJ between Danny's legs and leaning against his chest. Paddy, wearing the Canadiens' jersey that CJ had given him, had improvised with a coaster and a broom and was shooting his "puck" past Destiny. The yellow lab didn't quite understand the game, but she was up for anything that involved chasing a fast-moving object. Caitlin had oohed and aahed over her new stuffed mastodon and, getting her other prehistoric plushy toys, was playing some sort of primordial hunting game. The volumes of Danny's books – the ones about Leo, the Prince of Wales, Fitz, and the Pope – in French translation sat on the side table where Danny had set them after expressing his thanks for the tomes. ("Maybe I should ask the Hollis' to send you to Germany next.")

"Chicken," CJ decided.

"Then you just rest here and drink your wine," Danny said, giving her a little push in order to stand. "Tomorrow is soon enough for you to resume your housewifely duties."

A half-hour later, the four of them were at the kitchen table.

"Danny, this is really good," CJ said. "You really made this? When you said 'chicken', I assumed you meant carry-out from KFC or the store deli." She put another forkful in her mouth. It was a chicken cutlet, filled with a packaged rice, broccoli, and cheese mix, and rolled up, with a cream soup sauce. It was the simple kind of thing you would find in a newspaper or a church cookbook, but CJ could see the possibilities – maybe raisins, almonds, and some scallion in the rice for the filling, maybe a cream sauce with sherry and nutmeg in place of the soup.

"It's a variant of something Mom used to make for us. She wouldn't have used store-bought cutlets or rice mix, but the idea is the same. I figured that with Caitlin finally out of Gerber's, maybe the kids would like the things I liked as a kid. When I called Erin for the recipes, she suggested the cutlets and the prepared rice," Danny finished with a smile. He looked over to Paddy. "And they seem to like it, don't you?"

"It's good, Mama. Daddy cooked real good for us this week. We had this on Tuesday and shrimp and spaghetti on Wednesday. Yesterday, he made meatloaf cake. That was special," Paddy answered.

"Meatloaf cake?" CJ looked at her husband.

"Mom would use her Jell-O mold to shape the meatloaf mix and then bake it on a rack. She would fill center with mashed potatoes and 'frost' the ring with them. Sometimes, she'd make a design on top with peas and carrots, but so far, both Paddy and Caitlin like their vegetables, so I didn't bother with that. But I did use half ground turkey and half lean ground beef, with some bouillon for flavoring rather than the beef, pork, and veal mix that Mom used."

First in the bedroom and now in the kitchen, her husband was full of surprises. Which, after a decade of togetherness, could only be a good thing.

"Staying home all day; driving the carpool; cooking real meals. Are you sure you don't want to be Mr. Mom, honey?"

"Full-time and forever, no. But when you're off for Hollis stuff, yes. I may not be able to do it every time, but I wanted this first time with you away from them to be one with a parent here for Caitlin most of the time and for Paddy when he wasn't in school. It's part of the advantage of teaching in a university setting. I guess I see this as the pattern for the future, at least while the kids are both in college. You and me sharing the roles. I told you we'd get good at new things and we did. Now I'm telling you that we're still doing it."

Dessert was store-bought – ice cream with more of the raspberries – but then dessert usually was.

After the meal, the four of them played Candyland and several cutthroat hands of Go Fish.

By 8:30, CJ was yawning more than the kids were. The past three days were extremely full and she was still adjusting from Montreal time. This night, CJ was able to walk with the kids to their rooms and tuck them into bed and she was able to get into her nightshirt and her bed under her own power. By the time Danny had read to Caitlin, had removed the open book from a sleeping Paddy's chest, and returned to the master suite, CJ was sound asleep.

Danny sighed to himself. He was in his fifties, he had enjoyed a very intense encounter with CJ ten hours earlier, and he was confident that there would be another act of intercourse within the next day, but it had been half a week and he was more than halfway desirous of arousing and being aroused. Maybe if he got to bed early, the two of them would have time before the kids awoke in the morning. And there was nothing scheduled for tomorrow until late afternoon and the weekend gathering over at Jesse and Nancy's place. He hadn't had any leaded coffee since breakfast and he did drink several glasses of wine this afternoon and evening. And if he couldn't sleep, he could review his next lecture in his head.

Danny carefully slipped into bed and spooned himself behind CJ, nestling himself against her fanny and settling his nose and mouth against her hair. His wife murmured in contentment but did not wake up.

**April 9, 2016; 6:15 AM**

Danny was lying in an open field, surrounded by baby bunnies. One of them came up to his face and rubbed its ears against his mouth.

"Wake up sleepyhead."

**Rock Me Gently**

_Words and Music by Andy Kim_

Ain't it good, ain't it right,  
That you are with me here tonight.  
Music playin' our bodies swayin' in time.  
(In time, in time, in time.)  
Touching you so warm and tender,  
Lord I feel such a sweet surrender.  
Beautiful is the dream that makes you mine.  
Mmm-mmm-mmm.

Rock me gently, rock me slowly.  
Take it easy don't you know,  
That I have never been loved,  
Like this before.

((Baby, baby, rock me gently, rock me slowly.))  
((Take it easy, don't you know,))  
((That I have never been loved,))  
((Like this before.))

Oh, my darlin', oh, my baby,  
You got the moves that drive me crazy.  
And on your face I see a trace of love.  
(Of love, of love, of love.)  
Come hold me close, don't let me go-oh,  
I need you, honey, I love you so-wo.  
You were made for me by the stars above.  
Mmm-mmm-mmm.

[ Find more Lyrics on /c5 ]  
Rock me gently, rock me slowly.  
Take it easy don't you know,  
That I have never been loved,  
Like this before.

And ((baby, baby,))  
((Rock me gently, rock me slowly.))  
((Take it easy don't you know,))  
((That I have never been loved,))  
((Like this before.))

_[Short instrumental break.]_

Rock me gently, rock me slowly.  
Take it easy don't you know,  
That I have never been loved,  
Like this before.

((Ain't it good, ain't it right,))  
((That you are with me here tonight.))

((Rock me gently, rock me slowly.))  
((Take it easy don't you know,))  
((That I have never been loved,))  
((Like this before.))

Baby, baby,/(Come and rock me.)  
Rock me gently  
(Come and rock me.)  
Rock me slowly.  
_[Fade.]_  
((Take it easy don't you know,))  
(Come and rock me.)  
That I have never been loved,  
(Come and rock me.)  
Like this before...


	75. The Boys of Summer

**The Boys of Summer**

CJ/Danny, ensemble

Rating Child–

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

**Thursday June 16, 2016; Santa Monica, CA; late afternoon**

"Hold the bat this way, Ethan, and keep your feet pointed like this. And remember, always keep your eyes on the ball."

Danny helped the youngster with his stance. Then he stepped back and smiled as Ethan connected with the pitch and hit the ball past the gap between the second baseman and the short stop.

"Good job, Ethan!" Danny shouted as the kid easily reached first base.

It was Paddy's first year in the "Minor League" division of Little League and Danny was coaching his son's team, the Santa Monica Wolverines. Had they wished, they could have kept Paddy in the T-ball league for another year, but the boy's hand-eye coordination was top-rate and he showed signs of becoming a good pitcher, at least according to the teachers who monitored the playground games at St. Monica's. Besides, according to Paddy, he was no longer a little kid, "I'm going into second grade." Therefore, Danny and CJ agreed to move their son into the next level.

Danny jumped at the chance to be head coach for the team when the call went out for volunteers. "I loved playing ball when I was a kid," Danny told CJ. "And, looking back, having my father help coach the team was a chance to be with him. During the other seasons, Dad often worked an extra shift, or three, at the plant, but summers, he only worked the regular forty hours."

After much cajoling, Danny was able to enlist Ken Robbins ("I'm having withdrawal from doing the scholastic golf circuit with Jill") and Billy Rogers ("until it's time for Will to start playing") from the block to help out. With another kid's father and Ethan's older half-brother, the coaching staff was complete. Caleb Ranch, Ethan's brother, would be entering Cal State Fresno in the fall on a baseball scholarship, and he coached the budding pitchers. CJ tried, and for the most part succeeded, to hide her amusement when Danny dealt with seeing his son idolize the youngest member of the coaching staff. ("Caleb says this; Caleb does that," Danny muttered one day when he and CJ lingered at the courtyard table after supper. "Can you believe Paddy wanted to cut the grass because that's what Caleb does? I know he has your height genes, but there's no way he'd be able to reach the handlebar of the mower for at least three years.")

Truth be told, Danny was glad that someone else was coaching his son. Teaching his son one on one was a rite that Danny cherished, but in the team situation, he felt it would be better if he gave his son no more and no less attention than he gave to his other players.

Danny had tried to enlist some of the others on the block for his staff, but the other fathers were all involved with their sons' or daughters' teams – even Jesse was working with Steve's summer lacrosse league; Jimmy and Timmy were still too busy with their hospital duties to work with the kids.

"Paddy! Trent! Pay attention!"

Danny looked up at the outfield, where Ken and Gil, the other father, were conducting fielding drills. His son was by the fence, talking with a little bevy of six, going on seven year-old girls. One paternal part of him was glad that his son, even at this age, was attracted to, and was attractive to, the opposite sex. Of course, Paddy had eyes, and deep pre-adolescent love, only for one Magdaléna Ynès Muñoz, but like his father, he was innately considerate of, and took age-appropriate enjoyment in ("Daddy, sometimes, when Maggie and I hug, my penis gets tingly"), the opposite sex. The other paternal part of him resisted the urge to reprimand his son, to tell him that, for now, he needed to concentrate on smoothing out his scooping and throwing technique. Tonight, in the privacy of their home, Danny and Paddy would be father and son. Right now, they were coach and athlete; Danny would leave the discipline to the men to whom he had delegated this particular task. Paddy quickly understood the difference between the two situations and made similar adjustments with ease.

"Trent! Listen to Mr. Ken or I'll ground you!"

Danny winced at the sound of Gabe Dandridge's voice coming from the stands. He would have preferred that parents not attend the practices, but he accepted the inevitable. At the beginning of the season, he developed a technique for dealing with those fathers – and mothers – who tried to take a more active role in the process.

"I'm so glad you're interested! I'd love to have you on the staff! We practice twice a week, Monday and Thursday afternoons. The games are usually on Wednesday and Friday early evening, or Saturday afternoon. I have a coach's staff meeting Tuesday at my place. Of course, you'll have to take the certification class for those working with minors, the next one is on the first Saturday of the month, all day, at Grace Lutheran, where you'll be fingerprinted and fill out the form for a police background check first, but once you get that out of the way, you'll be able to contribute. In the meantime, just observe and make notes of anything about which you might have some ideas. Here's my card with my email. Feel free to send me whatever you want."

As a result, Danny had very few overbearing parents in the stands at either practice or play.

Out of the corner of his eye, Danny noticed more and more parents arriving and glanced at his watch.

"Okay guys, time for cool down."

After the exercises, the team gathered their equipment and policed the area for trash. Danny gave the team the information they would need for Friday's game, verbally and also on sheets to give to their parents, and dismissed the boys after a final "Wolverines!". The coaching staff spent about eight minutes talking with various moms and dads. There wasn't another team waiting to use the field, so they stored the base pads, locked the restrooms, and parted company.

Had Danny and Paddy been alone in the car, Danny might have taken advantage of the time to impress upon his son the need to pay attention to his coaches, but with Ken and Billy as passengers, the gentle scolding would have to wait.

**Friday, June 17; 7:30 PM PDT**

"Way to go Paddy!"

Danny smiled at the words CJ shouted from the stand. Two seconds earlier, he had laughed in glee as he heard the whistle that Mitch and Randy had taught her as a young girl. The first time Danny had heard it, a month or so after their wedding, Danny wondered aloud why his new bride had never used her skill to tame the White House press corps.

"Well, considering all the speculation that was floating about concerning my sexual inclinations, the last thing I needed to do was add to the rumor mill, Danny."

"Well, all they had to do was ask me, CJ. I would have set them straight. And, as I recall, Tad Whitley did."

"Yeah, but word on the street was that he was a beard, that I duped him. Or that I played both sides of the street."

At the time, Danny could hear the hurt in her voice, not that she would have been ashamed had she been gay, he knew, but because what should not have been public fodder was, for her, just that. Now, he reveled in the many facets of the woman that God had, in Her infinite goodness, destined to be the love of his life.

Caleb was bringing his pitchers along very conservatively and only allowed them to pitch two innings per game max. He also preferred that, if at all possible, the kids who pitched in a game rotated only to catcher and the four infield positions and not be in the outfield where they would have to throw harder and longer to reach the bases. Paddy had just pitched two perfect innings – exactly six batters, exactly eighteen pitches, all strikes.

Although Paddy had held the other team run less for two innings, they were still ahead 5-4 and it was the bottom of the sixth – the last inning at this level.

The first two players singled and all those pulling for the Wolverines were on their feet with excitement. It was Paddy's turn up at bat. The pitch came and Paddy swung at it, sending it directly into the third baseman's mitt. That young man reacted quickly, as did the other infielders, and, within five seconds, the game was over – a triple play. Jubilation on the part of the Santa Monica Tigers; on the Wolverines bench, not so much.

Quickly, before the "going into second graders" succumbed to six, going on seven year-old tears, Danny and the others got the kids lined up to shake hands with the victors. Later, over burgers, fries, and shakes at the Dairy Queen, the coaches told the boys that they had played a good game and that sometimes, life happened.

As the group was leaving, Danny overheard a conversation between two of the fathers.

"Concannon shouldn't have played his kid at that point. Paddy may be a good pitcher, but his hitting leaves a lot to be desired."

"Come on, Dave. You know that Gil was making the rotation decisions. And for God's sake, they're just little boys, barely out of diapers."

Danny didn't mind for himself; he was an adult. But his son wasn't, and Paddy heard the interchange. His little face, so much an image of CJ, fell the way his mother's often did during those years with Jed Bartlet, and his eyes filled with tears.

"I'm sorry I cost the game, Daddy."

Danny looked around quickly. They were outside and none of the other boys were around. He bent down to pick up his son, and Paddy wrapped his arms and legs around Danny's trunk.

"It's not your fault, Paddy. And don't worry about the hitting. It will come. We'll just have to practice more at home, you and me."

**Saturday, June 18; early evening**

"Frank! Frank! Frank!

The circumstances were similar to yesterday's. The game was in the bottom of the ninth. The team was down 5-4. Two men were on base, Danny and Manny Hammash.

This time the count was oh and two.

Frank Muñoz' bat connected with the pitch.

This time it flew over the head of the third baseman, over the head of the leftfielder, and over the outfield fence.

This time, Danny's team won.

With fourteen "over eighteen" males on the block (counting Radak Dieliczko who was home for the summer), they had enough guys to enter a team in the city baseball league. Danny's involvement in the national pastime was not limited to coaching his son's team.

This team was much less structured. The guys practiced two or three times in early May, before the start of the schedule, but after that, it was "let's get to the field about thirty minutes early and warm up". Right now, they were two games over five hundred, but they were playing for the fellowship and the post-game beer as much as they were playing for ranking and ego.

The games provided another opportunity for neighborhood bonding and with their wives and kids usually in attendance, the games often became an excuse, as if they needed one, for a community finger-food picnic at the ball field. This one was no exception. The older kids – Carmen, Steve, and the Feldman twins – had offered to take the younger ones home for a pizza/pool party, so the adults could celebrate the victory at Harry's.

"Use our place," Danny said, tossing a set of house keys to Carmen. "Some of the boys may want to watch the ball game and with our set-up, you can keep an eye on them from the pool deck. Also, after the younger ones crash, you guys can have the hot tub as well as the pool. Just the usual rules, no one except kids on the block, etc." Danny knew there was no need to specify no alcohol, no tobacco, no drugs. "Eat anything you want that you can find."

Fifteen minutes later, the gang was at their usual group of tables at the back of Harry's, eating, drinking, and joking.

"What time do you play tomorrow?" Manny asked his wife. "Sarah said she'd be at the restaurant, she just needs to know when."

"We're playing at 3:00," CJ answered for Aviva, whose mouth was full of hamburger.

"And ribs at our place afterward," Laura Robbins added.

In previous years, the block had fielded a team in the coed softball league; this year that league had fallen apart. The rules required that each team field equal numbers of men and women and most of the teams had lost their female players to an upstart all women softball league that had been started by a group of women with a decidedly anti-male agenda. As a result, the women of the block formed a team in the all female volleyball league. The leadership of this group had much more commonsense. Although the teams were female, there were many male coaches and lots of support from husbands, boyfriends, and sons. And the women were not expected to play in skimpy bikinis. Most of the players wore gym shorts and halter tops.

"You'll cream them," Jesse said, not caring that his mouth was also full of food.

"From your lips to God's ear," Sally prayed as CJ, Hannah, Aviva, and Nancy all said "No! Go outside, turn around three times, and spit!"

After the laughter ended, Diana told the others that although the team was riding a perfect record into the match, things would get dicier in the next month, "especially with CJ and Danny out of town for most of July".

"You're spending the fourth with the Lyman's, right? Radak asked.

"We'll be with Josh and Donna from the twenty-sixth to the first," CJ said. "We'll be with Paul and Clara for the holiday. Nobody does Independence Day like DC and it's been a while. Then we go to Cape May until the twelfth, when we fly over to Shannon."

"Ah, the joys of academia," Jimmy Jenkins said. "Don't you just envy them?"

"Most years, yes," Frank said. "But this year - ".

Carmen had graduated from St. Monica's in June and would be starting at UC Santa Cruz in the fall. Frank was openly and laughingly honest about being the typical father who was having two thoughts about his little girl leaving the nest.

**July 4, 2016; Washington, DC; 9:45 PM EDT**

CJ knelt up against Danny's back, put her arms around his shoulders, and quickly kissed the back of his neck.

"How can she sleep through all this?" she asked, looking over Danny's right shoulder at a slumbering Caitlin, cradled in her father's arms.

As if in answer, Caitlin sighed in her sleep and nestled into Danny's chest as three more bursts of fireworks exploded overhead.

"Wow! Did you see that one, Derrick?"

Paddy had another young adult male to idolize in Paul's son, who was just back from a month in Europe assisting with a case at The Hague.

Earlier in the day, Danny, Paddy, Josh, Noah, Leo, Micah, Paul, and Derrick had taken in the afternoon game between the Nationals and the Mets while CJ, Clara, Donna, and Joannie attended a special party at the British Embassy. (Two years ago, the impossible had happened – a Welsh widow with two little girls had managed to snare John Marbury into marriage and the man had become a totally besotted with his ready-made family. Deron, the elder of Lord Marbury's stepdaughters, was celebrating her fifth birthday, and the Ambassador was sparing no expense.)

Coming back from the restroom after the fifth inning, Danny overheard Paddy and Noah talking about how "cool" Derrick was.

"When I get a big brother, I hope he's as nice as Derrick," Paddy said.

While Noah told Paddy that "unless Aunt CJ and Uncle Danny adopt someone, you won't get a big brother", Danny felt himself shifting slightly out of alignment with reality and caught a glimpse of an alternate universe in which he was no longer in the lives of his family. The image only lasted for a second, but it left him shivering. Normalcy quickly returned. Danny was grateful that the alternate universe was not real; he was also grateful that had it been real, that Paul and his family would have been there for CJ and his children, that Derrick would have helped Paddy with his swing.

"Are you jealous?" CJ asked her husband, following his glance over to his son and the young lawyer.

"Yeah, maybe a little. But I'm glad that my son has good role models in the sixteen to almost thirty set."

Then a low chuckle caused CJ and Danny to look beyond the boys to Paul and Clara. Paul's attentions discreet to the point of being unnoticeable, but Clara's blush was visible in the half-light of the outbursts over the Mall.

"Are **you** jealous?"

The question slipped out of Danny's mouth before he knew it.

CJ looked at Danny as if he had grown a second head. Then she smiled.

"Jealous? Of course not. Happy for the two of them? In the extreme."

**July 8, 2016; Cape May, NJ; 12:15 PM EDT **

"We're hungry," Noah Lyman announced to everyone in general and no one in particular as he led Leo, Micah, Paddy, and Hoop poolside.

Rick looked up from his poker hand.

"Okay, I guess it is time for lunch. Graciella left a salad and a ham and cheese quiche-type dish for us."

"Quiche?" Sev laughed as he climbed out of the pool. "Dad, these kids don't want quiche. Hell, I don't want quiche. We're just a group of guys here. Why don't I start the grill and cook up a bunch of hotdogs?"

"Yeah! Hotdogs!" Matty started jumping up and down; his big brother was the best. The other boys were less physical but showed by their grins that they preferred Sev's suggestion to his father's.

"I don't know," Cal said, "my wife went to a lot of trouble to make that - "

Now it was Brad's turn to gainsay a parent.

"The quiche'll keep. We're men and we want real meat, right, guys?"

At the sight of all the boys (and some of the grown men) nodding up and down, Cal and Rick laughed.

"Okay. Sev, you and Brad are in charge of lunch. But cut up some carrot sticks and no chips," Rick instructed.

The female contingent of Rick and Ginger's house party were all off to a combination bridal shower/tea being held in honor of Brad's fiancée. Cal and Graciella's son had graduated from Rutgers this summer and now he and Chloe were preparing to begin both graduate school and their life together in the fall.

Finishing his third hotdog, Danny agreed that the meal was satisfying in a way that the quiche casserole, no matter how well-seasoned and prepared, could never be, at least not to a group of males outside on a beautiful summer day, one hundred yards from the ocean.

"Good; go swim," Sean Palmer declared.

"We can't go swimming right after we eat, we'll get cramps," Leo told the younger boy.

Danny looked over at the little boy who was the image of Carol. He decided to respond with what, at least for him, was this summer's universal panacea.

"Leo's right (Josh and Sam looked at each other; the phrase brought back so many memories.), we should wait before we go in the water. Why don't we play some baseball for a while?"

The others responded enthusiastically, dividing into teams of seven men/young men each (Danny, Charley, Rick, Toby, Jesse, Brad and Bryce against Josh, Sam, John, Jean-Paul, David, Cal, and Sev). Danny's team had Huck, Paddy, Matty, and little Donnie, whereas Josh had his sons and Hoop Hoynes. They agreed that the two teams would field all four of their youngsters and alternate the grownups. Rob, one of this year's crop of lifeguards, was the umpire.

The two teams had played five fun-filled innings, ending up tied six all, when Rick declared that everyone was hot, tired, and that enough time had passed to settle stomachs.

As the guys followed the boys, who had taken off toward the beach with shouts of glee, Cal, Danny, and Toby fell behind the rest of the group.

"I guess we're the old men of the group," Toby said, favoring his left leg. "But damn, that was fun!"

"You know," Cal observed, "over Brad's twenty-two years, I've seen sports fads come and go – Pop Warner football, soccer, lacrosse, hockey, even rugby – but baseball never seems to go out of fashion."

"Well, I guess it is the great American pastime," Danny replied. "And what was it that George Carlin –"

"In football you receive a penalty. In baseball you make an error," Toby quoted. "Among other things."

Laughing, the three men broke out into a chorus of "Take Me out to the Ballgame" as they ambled down to the waves.

Baseball and Football – George Carlin

Baseball is different from any other sport, very different. For instance, in most sports you score points or goals; in baseball you score runs. In most sports the ball, or object, is put in play by the offensive team; in baseball the defensive team puts the ball in play, and only the defense is allowed to touch the ball. In fact, in baseball if an offensive player touches the ball intentionally, he's out; sometimes unintentionally, he's out.

Also: in football, basketball, soccer, volleyball, and all sports played with a ball, you score with the ball and in baseball the ball prevents you from scoring.

In most sports the team is run by a coach; in baseball the team is run by a manager. And only in baseball does the manager or coach wear the same clothing the players do. If you'd ever seen John Madden in his Oakland Raiders uniform, you'd know the reason for this custom.

Now, I've mentioned football. Baseball and football are the two most popular spectator sports in this country. And as such, it seems they ought to be able to tell us something about ourselves and our values.

I enjoy comparing baseball and football:

Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.  
Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.

Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park. The baseball park!  
Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium, sometimes called Soldier Field or War Memorial Stadium.

Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.  
Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.

In football you wear a helmet.  
In baseball you wear a cap.

Football is concerned with downs - what down is it?  
Baseball is concerned with ups - who's up?

In football you receive a penalty.  
In baseball you make an error.

In football the specialist comes in to kick.  
In baseball the specialist comes in to relieve somebody.

Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late hitting and unnecessary roughness.  
Baseball has the sacrifice.

Football is played in any kind of weather: rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog...  
In baseball, if it rains, we don't go out to play.

Baseball has the seventh inning stretch.  
Football has the two minute warning.

Baseball has no time limit: we don't know when it's gonna end - might have extra innings.  
Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if we've got to go to sudden death.

In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic feeling; emotions may run high or low, but there's not too much unpleasantness.  
In football, during the game in the stands, you can be sure that at least twenty-seven times you're capable of taking the life of a fellow human being.

And finally, the objectives of the two games are completely different:

In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!


	76. Nine Years

**Nine Years**

CJ/Danny, mentions of others

Rating Adult –

Spoilers through end of series

Warning – secondary character death

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

%%%%%

**Wednesday, July 13, 2016; somewhere over County Clare, Ireland; early morning;**

"Mama! All green!"

Danny looked across the aisle; Caitlin's nose was pressed up against the oval window of the plane. He smiled as CJ slid up behind their daughter and put an arm around the child's shoulders.

"Yes, sweetie-cakes, it is very green. That's why they call Ireland 'the Emerald Isle'. I think it's because they get rain all year round here, not like California."

"No rain Calforna?" Caitlin asked.

"Only at certain times of the year, sweetie," CJ laughed.

Danny smiled as CJ ruffled the curls of the little girl. Mother and daughter turned back to the window, their turquoise cotton sweaters and khaki pants bright against the grey and taupe of the plane's décor.

Caitlin was going through a "be like Mama, do everything with Mama" phase. ("Enjoy it while it lasts," Jessica, Hannah, and Laura told her. "In a few years, she'll think you're a – the enemy, and b – the most idiotic person on the face of the earth.")

It started one day when Diana was going through some of the pictures from her parents' house; she had brought home the boxes of old photos when she and her siblings were getting the house ready to put on the market. There were lots of pictures from the 1940's showing Diana's mother as a little girl with Diana's grandmother. In many of the snapshots, the two of them were in "mother/daughter" outfits and Caitlin decided that she and her Mama needed to dress alike. So CJ and Caitlin went on a shopping spree. Shorts, slacks, and tops were easy to manage as long as they stuck to solid colors. "Look alike" dresses had long gone out of style ("I don't remember anything like that when I was a little girl," CJ told Caitlin, "even before Grandma Kathleen had to go live with Jesus"), so CJ and Caitlin went to the fabric store and picked out some prints which CJ, with Diana's help, fashioned into summer dresses and blouses for the two of them. (Danny remembered the surge of anger he felt when Tonio, the Neanderthal who was Frank's older brother and Jesse's father, made some comment about CJ turning into "a proper female" at last. "Let it go, Danny," CJ had said to him under her breath – after she had flipped off the guy – "Just let it go.")

"Mr. Concannon, you'll need to wake up your son. We're into our final approach to Shannon and he needs to be properly strapped in, seatbacks upright and tray tables stored, the usual drill."

Danny looked down to his lap and the light brown shock of hair there. Paddy's mouth was curved in a smile. Perhaps he was reliving the kids' co-ed softball game (well, dads were needed in the outfield to round out the teams, but the men didn't hit) from a couple of days ago at Rick and Ginger's. Paddy had hit a home run with the bases loaded and won the game for his side. Hopefully, it would give the boy a welcome ego-boost when they returned to the Santa Monica Wolverines.

The plane landed without incident and the family of four passed through Customs easily, with a warm welcome "back to your homeland" from the friendly agent who stamped their passports.

Erin and Robin were waiting for them on the other side of Passport control and soon they were on the way to the MacDonald's old farmhouse near the little hamlet of Boston. It was an extremely warm day, so they ate breakfast outside and spent the day relaxing and adjusting to the time change on the deck by the pool.

"Ash is sorry she can't be here; there's a lot she wants to get done at the distillery before she gets back into university mode," Erin told CJ. "But she and Brian are really looking forward to seeing you when you go over to Scotland."

"What's happening on that front?" CJ asked, taking a sip of her iced tea.

"It's all in my daughter's hands," Robin laughed. "She insists she wants to wait until she's done with the degree and the residency and is board-certified before getting married. They don't live together officially, but he's with her at the distillery. Angus is still there, of course, and Sorcha has moved in also. Poor Brian came to me about 14 months ago, to let me know that his intentions were 'eternally honorable', as he put it; it was right after Ciara said something about 'seeing Brian kiss Aunt Ash's pee-pee'. He says he'll marry our daughter as soon as she gives the word. He wanted me to convince her to at least accept a ring. Fiona, of all people, is totally on his side, frets about 'not knowing what might happen tomorrow', that sort of thing. But Aisling just smiles, laughs, and says that she knows that she and Brian have all the time in the world. Sorcha nods in agreement, so I assume that they are right."

"How is Fee doing with this baby?"

"Much better than she was with Ciara at this stage," Erin answered. "Hardly any morning sickness at all. She's given up on her tennis but she still walks a lot and still rows on the lake and the river. They'll be up here tonight, and then we have the engagement party for Brendan's niece on Friday down in Kerry."

"And nothing else, right? Except church?" Danny asked. "The kids are too young for any real sightseeing and we really want to catch up with you guys."

**Friday, July 15; late afternoon**

"Daddy! Mama hair like me!"

Danny looked up at the sound of Caitlin's voice.

CJ and Caitlin had come out of the house and onto the deck where Danny, Robin, and Paddy were waiting for "the womenfolk". ("It takes them longer to get ready," Robin told his nephew, "but they look much better than we do when all is said and done!")

Mother and daughter were wearing matching sundresses in a print that reminded Danny of the gowns that CJ, Donna, Bonnie, Margaret, and Ginger wore for Carol's wedding, except that this fabric was not a sheer voile but a light opaque cotton that didn't need lining. ("There was no way I would be able to sew a dress with a lining," CJ said when Danny asked. "I'm lucky that I was able to do this much.") Their lime green flip-flops picked up the dominant color of the print.

Then Danny raised his glance. CJ had borrowed some rollers, or maybe a curling iron, and had fashioned her hair – a light auburn with red-gold highlights this month – in ringlets to match the bright red curls that Danny had given to his girl-child. Danny was reminded of the primary, the campaign, and the early months of Jed Bartlet's first year in the White House, when CJ was wearing her hair that way. Personally, he liked her hair straight and slightly below her shoulders. For one thing, it brought back memories of the last months of 2006, when the two of them consummated the dance that had been going on between the two of them for eight years. For another, the sensation of her hair across his groin when she loved him with her mouth was extremely erotic. Hopefully, CJ would not let Caitlin talk her into making a more permanent adjustment to her hairstyle. Maybe he should let CJ know of his preference; he was pretty sure that he would have more pull than a not yet four year-old.

"The two of you are absolutely gorgeous," Danny told them. "You will outshine the bride-to-be at her own party."

**Sunday, July 17; the Scottish highlands near Inverness; mid-afternoon**

"Now you be a good girl for your godmother, sweetie-cakes," CJ said as she knelt down to hug Caitlin, "and we'll see you on Tuesday." Then she and Danny got in the waiting car. The family had flown over from Ireland to spend a few days at the distillery and then attend part of the MacDonald clan gathering. But CJ and Danny were also going to spend two nights at their honeymoon island.

"I'll be good," Caitlin said, looking up to her pretty cousin, "want go with them."

"We can't go," Paddy told his sister. "Mama and Daddy are going to their honeymoon place, where they went when they got married."

"Where did we go then, Paddy?"

"We didn't go anywhere because we weren't born yet. Daddy says we were just twinkles."

"What's twinkles?"

Brian Stewart laughed out loud, picked up the little girl, and swung her round in a circle. "Twinkles are magical looks in a man's eyes that sometimes can turn into little girls or little boys, when that man is with the woman he loves. Sometimes it takes a while, like it did with you and Paddy." Then Brian looked over to Aisling and smiled. Someday, when Aisling was ready, Brian hoped that he and she would turn one of his twinkles into a little red-haired beauty like the one he was holding.

"On Tuesday morning, you'll go to get your Mama and Daddy and spend some time there," Aisling told the children. "It's a very special place, like something out of a fairy tale. In the meantime, we can have a lot of fun here. There's a long hallway that we can slide on in our socks and a nice wooden banister that's better than a sliding board."

"And lots of toys from when my grandfather was your age. And Sandy in the kitchen has baked lots of cookies for you," Brian told the youngsters. "And tomorrow I'll take you to Loch Ness and we can go on a boat and maybe we can see the monster."

"Have you ever seen the monster, Brian?" Paddy asked excitedly. He hoped they would be able to see it. Then he could brag to Noah about it. And it would probably be the best story when school started and he and his classmates would have to talk about what they did over the summer.

"Monsters scary! No!" Caitlin started to cry.

"Ah, no, little one, not all monsters. And not Nessie. Nessie is a wee friendly monster, not a scary one."

"Honest truth?" Caitlin asked.

Please God, Brian prayed silently, please give us one or two like this little one when Aisling and I start our family.

"Honest truth," Brian answered. "Now, let's go get some of those cookies."

About thirty-five miles away, CJ and Danny waved to the driver and turned to the boat dock.

"I see they've got a motor in case you're too old to row me to the island," CJ observed as Danny put their two small duffle bags in the boat.

"Well, woman, you have a choice. I can row over to the island and take a nap or I can use the motor and then use my energy in a more interesting way."

Arriving on the island and entering the little house, CJ and Danny discovered that there had been a few more changes made to their honeymoon hideaway in the last nine years. There was a state-of-the-art home entertainment theatre with a good selection of movies and music. The bath in the master suite was now a luxury spa experience with jets, benches, etc. in the hydro-massage shower and a deep, double-wide whirlpool jet tub. The kitchen appliances were now commerical top chef grade, but, as CJ said, "The way this refrigerator is stocked with pre-prepared chicken, roast, and other stuff, the only thing we'll be using is the ice dispenser and a couple of pots and pans for breakfast and to reheat things."

"So, why don't we fill this champagne bucket, grab some glasses and some of that fruit and brie, go upstairs, and let me put this unexpended energy to use," Danny answered, letting his lips and his hands demonstrate exactly what he intended to do once they reached the bedroom.

With the place completely to themselves (no cook or housekeeper to invade their privacy), CJ and Danny spent the time in a light-weight shift for her and cotton boxers for him – that is, when they weren't in their birthday suits. Like newlyweds, their time consisted of napping, loving, and eating.

The weather continued to cooperate with no rain and lots of sunny warmth. On Monday night, they took the mattress from the smaller bedroom, put it on the balcony outside the master suite, and after making slow, sweet glorious love, watched the brilliantly star-lit sky in satiated after-glow.

"It's just so amazing!" CJ said. "I can't remember the last time I've seen a sky so dark. Even in Albion, we get lights from the neighbors. Maybe that Christmas with Siobhan and Liam on Mackinac."

"Or Norway, when you got the prize. Or Tassajera, after we lost the twins." Danny stopped to control breaking in his voice as he remembered the tragedy. "We've done so much, grown so much, learned so much in the past nine years," Danny said, punctuating the phrases with kisses on her eyes and cheeks. "God, I love you."

"Show me, Danny. Show me."

**Tuesday, July 19; mid-afternoon**

"Bye, fairy castle!" Caitlin exclaimed as Danny eased the boat away from the dock.

Earlier in the day, two of the distillery workers had dropped off the kids and a car so the family could enjoy the day together on the island before returning to the manor house. Paddy and Caitlin told them about their time with Aisling in the distillery, helping to blend whiskey ("But we weren't allowed to taste it."), and their trip to the Loch, with Paddy expressing disappointment and Caitlin relief that the legendary resident of the deep water had not been sighted.

Both children enjoyed the island's pool, the gardens, and the woods with its wildlife, but Caitlin was also enthralled by the little stone and wood house. She used all her little-girl wiles to try to convince Danny that the four of them should spend the night on the island before finally and reluctantly accepting her Daddy's explanation that it just wasn't possible, and, anyway, Aisling and Brian were expecting them.

The four of them drove back to the manor, with CJ and the kids shrieking when Danny (twice) turned into the wrong lane and had to quickly get into the left-side lane in order to avoid the oncoming car.

"Thank God it's just a country road," Danny laughed. "I'd be a lethal weapon on a real highway.

They reached the manor without further incident, where Aisling and Brian were waiting for them.

"Uncle Danny, Aunt CJ, your things are in the second bedroom on the left," Aisling said. "Brian is cooking his world famous shrimp scampi tonight and Sandy made this unbelievable dessert. Angus and Sorcha went to a funeral visitation in Inverness; we'll wait for them to get back. So we have no real plans until seven or so. You can go take a nap, use the pool, read, watch TV, or join me in a walk to work off some calories in anticipation of the glut tonight!"

"Well, the kids wore me out, so I'm for the nap," CJ said, heading toward the stairs.

Danny followed her, somewhat reluctantly. It hadn't crossed his mind that Aisling would put CJ and him in the same room that had been Brianna's, the same room in which Brianna had made a man of him so many years ago. Entering the room, he took a quick inventory. The room had been repainted, with new bed linens and curtains. The mattress had definitely been replaced; it was one of the newer extra deep ones. Would his memories affect his ability to make love to his wife in this room? He didn't know; what he did know is that he had to tell CJ. Nine years together, nine years of talking, of sharing, and, sometimes, of fighting. He wanted more, many more, and the way to ensure that was to continue to talk and to share.

"CJ, I need to tell you," he started, turning around, and then stopped at the sound of her soft snoring.

Danny eased himself onto the bed. Later, he promised himself.

**Midnight**

Danny pulled the light-weight blanket up to his shoulders. Turning his arm, he gently pulled CJ back against his chest and kissed her shoulder. She stayed asleep, but muscle memory caused her to stir a bit and to snuggle her butt back into Danny's groin. Danny lightly traced the dried tear track on CJ's cheek that glistened silver in the moonlight.

The first phone call had come at 9:30, a few hours ago, from a tearful Bonnie. Helen Santos was dead. The former First Couple had been in Houston for a few days; the commission for Matt's presidential library was in the home stretch of the planning stage. That morning, Helen felt a little under the weather, tired and queasy, and decided to stay in bed with ginger ale, saltines, and daytime television. Matt returned in the early afternoon to find his wife lifeless in the bed, the remote control still in her hand. The funeral Mass and burial would be on Friday, in Houston, of course.

"It's still preliminary, but the medical examiner thinks it was a heart defect that Helen had since birth, never diagnosed," Bonnie said. Apparently, the autopsy had been given top priority. "And, apparently, Helen was three weeks' pregnant. It's just so sad, so totally and utterly sad."

Donna called a few minutes after Bonnie had rung first, the two of them shared their memories of the woman who grew into the role her husband's fate imposed upon her. CJ told Donna about Helen meeting the White House staff for the first time and Donna told CJ about her conversation with Helen in the back yard at the Houston house.

"I'm so devastated, CJ. There was never any hint, any sign, that Helen had any problems. Josh says that the doctors want Matt to have the kids tested, to see if there is anything they might have inherited from their mom. Excuse me," Donna choked back some tears. CJ could hear Josh in the background, making comforting sounds. Then CJ heard his voice come over the phone.

"She's really upset, CJ; she could use her friends. Travel safe; we'll see you in a day or so. My love to the kids and my best to Danny."

CJ was flying back for the funeral, of course. The Foundation was scheduling one of its jets to pick up several directors and senior staffers in Europe. Danny had said he would go with her; the others would love taking care of the kids for a few days and he wanted to be there to support his wife. But CJ felt it would be better if he stayed in Scotland. She knew how much he had been looking forward to the MacDonald clan gathering; she also felt that as much as Paddy and Caitlin loved their aunt, uncle, cousins, and "kissing cousins", they would still feel a little lost without a parent with them.

CJ stirred again and Danny became aware of the pleasant sensations stirring in his genitals. Nine years ago, that pleasant sensation would have been followed, rather quickly, by rock-hard arousal and the need for relief. Even now, Danny knew that had he wished, he could have kissed CJ's neck until she awoke and that when she felt the firm pressure of his erection against her backside, she would have dealt with his need. She might have turned to face him and pulled him to her, or, whispering "Come to me", turned onto her stomach. But most likely, she would have merely shifted her upper leg to allow him access. And, sheathing himself in her wet warmth, he would pull her closer to him, his fingers dancing in well-learned patterns on the central core buried in her folds. They were well practiced after all these years and satisfaction would come quickly to both of them. A few more kisses and murmurs of love and they would drift back to sleep, the head of his now flaccid penis still just inside the mouth of her vagina, until unconscious movement on the part of one of them would dislodge it.

Yes, it would be easy to escalate the situation, but, if he chose, Danny could also enjoy the warm, fuzzy feeling of CJ's butt on his balls and leave fulfillment to a move convenient time. And this time, that was his choice.

Danny felt a slight rush of warm air on his groin and immediately picked up on a faint scent of the ultra-rich flourless chocolate cake that had been dessert. He smiled, remembering the first time he had done that in her presence, remembering the rush of warmth to his face and chest as he blushed as red as his hair – or at least his remembrance of what his hair had been in younger times – and apologized profusely for the _faux pas_. It was a week or so before Matt Santos' swearing in, a few days after the weekend with Erin and Robin. CJ had laughed, that delighted, amusing laugh Danny had first heard when he stood in the doorway of her office holding a fishbowl.

"Danny, if all this works out the way you say it will and the way I hope it will, you and I are going to do a lot of natural body things in each other's company. I don't expect you to hold it in, or go to the next room; I certainly don't plan to."

And, naturally, she was right. Passing gas in front of each other was the least of it. Over the years, they had nursed each other through bouts of diarrhea and vomiting. There had even been the one time her period came early, right in the middle of a very intimate erotic act on his part.

After this trip, their lives would change again. Frank Hollis had not, as yet, said anything to CJ, had not asked anything of CJ. But Danny didn't need his Celtic DNA to tell him that Matt Santos would need time before he was able to resume his role as head of "Road to a Better World" (if, indeed, he ever was able to do so) and that none of the others, Glenn Walken, Mrs. Vinick, were able to do so. No, there was only one person who could step right in and take up the reins of the Hollis Foundation's most ambitious project, and that person was the one who had just farted on his balls.

They would talk about it, Danny knew, the way they had talked about everything ever since that night in early January 2007 when he had pulled her back from the brink, stopped her from taking that leap off the cliff by herself. He and CJ would decide how to handle the times when she would need to be away from the house, either in San Luis Obispo or in Santiago, Sudan, or Samarkand (did Samarkand still exist, he wondered?) and he was involved in his classes or his ever-increasing duties as part of the USC faculty senate. Paddy was growing more independent and he might or might not remember the early days when his Mama was away, sometimes for two weeks at a time, but there were still times when a boy needed his mother; Caitlin, of course, had never really known that life, except for two or three days in the past year or so. But children were resilient and, he hoped, Paddy and Caitlin had a sound sense of parental security. He and CJ were also blessed with their neighbors, their friends.

He and CJ would also make the required adjustments to their own relationship. Did she still have the "battery-operated boyfriend" he had half-jokingly, half-seriously given her in those early years when the two of them were apart for weeks at a time? Maybe he should buy her a new one after the trip, he told himself, and then hurriedly swallowed the laugh that might have awakened her.

As he drifted back into sleep, Danny pulled CJ a little closer into his arms. He whispered a little prayer for Matt Santos, hoping that God would never ask of him what He was asking of the former president – to go on living and to raise his children without the presence of the woman who was his life. Nine years, no matter how wonderful, were nowhere near enough.


	77. Time Zones

**Time Zones**

CJ/Danny

Rating Adult –

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

Note: I tried to get the times right, based on daylight savings rules for the countries involved. If I've goofed, I apologize.

_September 12, 2016; Santa Monica CA (9:30 AM) and Cairo, Egypt (7:30 PM)_

"So I should pull out the stand mixer?" Danny walked to the kitchen cabinet where the extra appliances were kept.

"Lord, no, Danny. The hand mixer will be fine; you don't need the Kitchen-Aid."

Danny smiled as CJ's laugh came over the speaker phone. His wife might be a third of the way round the world, but in his mind the two of them were back in DC, some seventeen years ago, when he found out that the goldfish CJ liked were not the kind that were bought in a pet store. It was the first time she had ever kissed him and he remembered how much he liked it; how much he still liked it.

Danny Concannon was by no means an inept ignoramus in the kitchen. He had a healthy repertoire of recipes, some sophisticated (steak Diane), some simple (meatloaf ring with mashed potato filling). However, he had no experience with cake mixes, so when Caitlin insisted on "cupcakes like Mama makes" for her contribution to the preschool's "Fall Frolic" party rather than something bought at the bakery counter at Ralph's, Danny called on his wife's expertise.

"Okay, I've turned on the oven. What's next?"

"Well, let's get the liners in the muffin pans. Spray the pans lightly with Pam™ so nothing sticks, then put the paper cups in the holes and then spray again into the cups so the paper comes off easy."

After Danny complied with CJ's instructions, he reached for the Betty Crocker™ box.

"So I just dump everything in a bowl and mix it all up?"

"Yeah, that'll work; like I said, we aren't trying to outdo Julia Child here. Just make sure you stir the dry mix into the liquid before you turn on the beaters or else you'll have powder flying all over the kitchen. Can you hold the bowl with your hand?" Over the weekend, Danny had managed to break his left ring finger and the digit was splinted and bandaged.

"Yeah. My thumb still works."

"Listen, I need to get showered and ready for this reception. Fill the cups about two-thirds full. I use a half-cup measure for that. After the little suckers are baked, test them about seven minutes before the time's up, this oven runs a little hot, let them cool before frosting them. I usually spoon the frosting out of the container and put it in a bowl. Then I dip the top of the cupcake in the bowl with a half twist. But you can spread it on them straight from the can with a knife if you want. Then line them up on a piece of newspaper and sprinkle the Jimmies all over the tops."

"No pretty pattern or anything? Won't they look, well, homemade? Will that be okay?" Danny asked.

"Danny, the only thing the kids will care about is that they are getting cake. It's the other mothers, and only one or two at that, get into presentation and such. Mandy doesn't have a kid in Caitlin's group."

The two of them laughed, remembering the Halloween party for Paddy's preschool party three years earlier.

"Okay. Have a good time at the reception tonight, and a safe flight tomorrow."

"Yes sir. Love you," CJ said.

"Love you back."

_Cairo, 10:45 PM_

"Madame Concannon. Bubbling enchantment for a most enchanting woman."

CJ looked up and took the champagne flute from the 17 year-old standing in front of her. Did the French start teaching males to be attentive and flattering in kindergarten? Were all women, no matter how old, to be considered fair romantic game? The dark-haired, blue-eyed specimen in front of her was the same age as Rick and Ginger's Sev, for heaven's sake.

"Merci, Louis-Jacques," she said with a smile and took a sip. "You have been the perfect companion this evening, first at dinner and now with the dancing."

Hearing those words, the young man blushed and proved that, for all his charm, he was indeed still a boy. Louis-Jacques stammered a thank you and seemed to fish about for something else to say. CJ wanted to put him at ease and was about to start a conversation about the young man's plans for the next week when they were joined by his parents, his twin sister, several people from an Egyptian energy consortium, and Lars Enderson, the Swedish engineer who had flown in yesterday from Brazil.

The Hollis Foundation's latest adventure involved wind power. Henri (Louis-Jacques' father) and CJ, along with five others, had spent two weeks in Africa studying potential sites for wind farms and had arrived in Cairo with the sunrise. After three hours rest, the group met with Lars and the others who had been doing a similar tour in South America and compared notes.

The Egyptian government was anxious to have one of the prototype sites built in their country; hence the gala dinner and dancing event.

Tomorrow, CJ would fly to Marseille; she would spend two days in Provence with some industrialists in the area, followed by similar meetings in Milan and Pisa, ending up in Rome for two days, where Frank Hollis would join her, and then, finally, home to Danny and the kids in a week.

"We need to get up at 5:30 in the morning," Henri said, "so I think we should get to bed." His family had come in from Epernay this afternoon and the four of them were going to spend the week in Egypt. CJ wished them a safe and happy time, and they in turn told her to have a safe flight to France, Italy, and the states.

The orchestra returned from its break and Lars asked CJ to dance.

"Well, maybe one or two. I am flying out tomorrow, remember."

"You can always sleep on the plane."

Two hours later, CJ was sitting in her room, the lights on, clutching her robe about her.

If Louis-Jacques' attentions had been innocent and charming, if they had aroused happy memories of her life as a single woman, the attentions of Lars Enderson were sinister and the memories they aroused were as unwelcome as the attentions themselves. The fact that she was, as she told him, very much in love with her husband, didn't deter Lars; she escaped when the wife of the Swedish ambassador to Egypt drew him into a conversation.

Logically, CJ knew she was safe behind her double-locked door; emotionally, she felt uneasy. She wanted to call Danny, to hear his reassuring voice. It was ten hours earlier in California so the time was no problem.

But Danny would only fret and worry, and be frustrated that there was nothing he could do about the situation; the time zones that separated them and the distance they represented made that impossible. And she couldn't call and not tell him. It wasn't only that everything ingrained in her would try to keep her from lying to her husband, it was that it was too raw, too fresh in her mind. Danny would sense her discomfort immediately and quietly but insistently get to the bottom of the situation. Yes, she shared everything with Danny and share this she would, but after she returned home.

So CJ would continue to sit with the lights on. After all, as Lars himself had said, she could sleep on the plane.

_September 13; Santa Monica, CA; 7:05 AM_

"Guess what, Mama! In second grade, we get to do homework! Anyway, I have to brush my teeth and get dressed. Aunt Diana's taking us to school today because Mike's class has a field trip. I don't think Carmen likes it when she can't drive us. I love you, Mama. Here's Daddy."

Danny chuckled as he took the phone from his son. "What's the over/under on this excitement about homework lasting until Thanksgiving?"

"Thanksgiving? I'd say Halloween. Oh!"

Danny winced at the sound of the phone hitting something. "CJ? Jeannie? You okay?"

"Just this headache. And the lack of sleep. I'm okay, Danny," CJ hastened to reassure her husband. "Nothing that some Tylenol® and some sleep can't cure. Now be sure to call me when the skit is over. We just have a quiet dinner planned for 8:00 our time and I can easily excuse myself to talk with Caitlin."

"Look, if you don't feel up to it after four hours' rest, you skip the dinner," Danny gently instructed. "I mean it, young lady."

"Hey, hold on, Fish-boy. This is your wife you're talking to, not your daughter!" CJ laughed.

"Yeah, but I still know best. Get yourself into bed. And, like Paddy, I love you. Be safe, darling."

"Call me, if only so I can tell Caitlin that I really didn't want her to injure herself. Love you back."

Danny looked over to where Caitlin was playing with Destiny. Earlier, after talking with CJ, she handed the phone to Paddy and burst out in tears. "Mama wants me to break my leg!"

Danny explained that Mama really didn't want **that** to happen. It was just something that people said to actors in a play, but Caitlin didn't want to talk to Mama about it. She just ran to the dog and let the yellow lab lick her face in comfort.

Danny hoped that CJ would get the rest and relief she needed. If she were here, he would darken the bedroom by lowering the blackout shades, make her some hot strong tea with milk and sugar (well, Splenda®) and buttered (well, I Can't Believe It's Not Butter ® spray) toast, and bring her warm wet washcloths for her eyes. Danny couldn't shake the feeling that something in addition to the headache was bothering his wife, something related to the reason she didn't get much sleep last night. He was concerned, but not worried. He trusted her judgment, trusted that whatever it was could wait until next week when they were together and not nine or ten hours apart.

Anyway, now it was time to get Caitlin dressed and to transport her and the cupcakes to pre-school. Then he would do a little shopping for two hours or so before returning to watch the little pageant.

_11:30 AM_

"Which one is yours?"

Danny glanced over at the woman on his right. He didn't remember seeing her before, but then kids came in and out of preschool at all times. It wasn't like grade school, or even kindergarten.

"Caitlin's the red maple, second tree from the right," Danny answered, pointing to where his daughter stood on the stage.

"Of course! I see the resemblance now. She's darling. And with that hair, she's perfect for the role. The toadstool is mine. Ethan. I'm Beverly Merriweather, I'm sorry, I mean Beverly Woodson. Haven't gotten used to my old name yet."

"Danny Concannon."

"Ssh!" came the hiss from the grandfather in the row in front of them.

The pre-school director's voice interrupted whatever might have come next. "And that concludes our 'Welcome Fall' pageant. How about a big hand for our performers?"

The next twenty minutes were spent eating the treats the parents had brought and lavishing praise on the tiny thespians. ("I'm not thespian! We're Baptists!" one little boy proclaimed to the general laughter of the adults present.) Then it was time for Danny to take Caitlin home where she would stay with Steve while Danny went off to teach his 2:00 PM seminar at USC. And to call CJ so Caitlin could tell her all about being a red maple.

_September 15; Santa Monica, CA; 12:00 PM._

Danny heard his name being called as he locked the car door. Looking up, he saw the woman he had met the other day, what was her name? Bitsy? Beth? No; Beverly.

"I'm picking up Ethan early; he has a dentist's appointment. I didn't see you yesterday afternoon. Does Caitlin have an appointment also?"

"Caitlin's not here full-time. She's just getting her feet wet, so to speak, before she starts kindergarten in two years. She's only here three mornings a week," Danny replied.

"Well, maybe sometime, we could get together. I could cook the two of you supper and the kids could play and you and I could get to know each other."

If the words weren't obvious enough, Beverly's smile indicated that this would be more than a kid's play date.

"I'm sorry; I'm married," Danny held up his left hand, realized it was still splinted, and then held up his right hand, where he had jammed his wedding ring. "My wife is out of the country on business. CJ recently started back to work again."

Beverly's smile changed. "Oh, well, if you ever get lonely, you know where to find me." Her look said that she wished she could put the hand she had placed on his left forearm someplace else.

Danny pulled away. "I love my wife."

Driving home, he was a little shaken. Yes, over the past few years, first at and now at USC, there had been the inevitable "older teen/young woman" crush situation, but those had been innocent, in many cases subconscious, on the part of the girls. This was deliberate; Beverly knew exactly what the situation was and didn't give a damn. He supposed he should be flattered, his male ego stroked the way Beverly wanted to stroke his cock, but instead he felt violated, he felt insulted. His integrity, his fidelity had been called into question.

When CJ called this morning, she had just arrived in Pisa.

"It's so beautiful here, Danny. We need to come back sometime, just you and me, no kids. Provence, the coast, Monaco, it's meant for couples, happily in love couples. And this part of Italy is giving every signs of being the same. I want to make love with you under the stars with the smell of the olives and the oranges in the air."

Looking over at the kids, anxiously waiting for their turn to talk with their mother, Danny was glad he didn't have the phone on speaker. Danny also thought that maybe, being a middle-aged couple, it would be better if, when that romantic interlude happened, CJ and he were on a balcony outside their room in a small but luxurious little inn and not on a blanket on the ground.

Normally, she would call again before she went to bed, but his seminar would last until 4:30 and the time difference was nine hours, so they wouldn't talk again until tomorrow. It was a good thing, Danny told himself. Maybe by then, he would be able to keep his concern about what had happened out of his voice. He would tell CJ about it, of course, after her trip. Ever since that day in early January over nine years ago, they told each other everything, but there was no reason to bother CJ with this while they were apart. Just like whatever happened that last night in Cairo, this could wait.

_September 16; Rome; 10:00 PM_

CJ laughed into the phone. Danny had just reminded her of his audience with the Pope four years ago and the way CJ had insisted on checking him out via web cam before he left for the Vatican. Danny wanted to know why he didn't have the same rights.

"Why do you think? Because I'm a woman and you're a man, Danny. I know how to dress myself. Besides, Sarita's here and we went over our outfits last night. And, last, but not least, you had a private audience with the man that lasted an hour, including tea with his mother's dishes. I'm going to be part of a group that will see him for maybe ten minutes at most. It's just a little courtesy thing after we meet with his bureaucrats tomorrow."

"Well, call me afterward; I want to hear all about it. Don't embarrass me, Jeannie." In spite of the distance, Danny instinctively ducked.

After she hung up, CJ poured a glass of champagne and went into the bathroom. She added more bubble bath and added more hot water. Settling into the bubbles, she sighed. Seventy-two more hours and she would be back in Santa Monica, back with her family.

CJ had experience with missing Danny, not that experience made it any easier. The first two years of their marriage, when she was pregnant first with the twins and then with Paddy, she had spent many nights like this when traveling for Frank Hollis. Back then, the days were exciting and rushed. There was so much to learn, so much to absorb, so much to do. During the days, there really wasn't any time to miss her husband; that was reserved for after dark, when she was alone in her room, or her tent.

Of course, after Paddy was born and before Caitlin came along, she continued to travel for "Road to a Better World" and she missed her son as well, so CJ also had experience with missing her children.

But on this trip, there was a new dimension to the feelings, feelings which manifested themselves during the day. In the wilds of Africa, when she saw the squalor, the effects of drought, famine, and war, she was so grateful that her children did not have distended bellies and open sores, so grateful that she did not have to feel her infant feebly try to draw nourishment from dehydrated breasts, so grateful that her husband was not under the constant threat of death by inter-tribal violence. In those first years, she had also cared about and cried for the souls that had not had the luck to be born of comfortable and caring first world parents, but having been a wife for ten years and a mother for seven made the horror of it all so much more real, so much more terrifying.

This would be her life for the near and intermediate future. Matt Santos had told Frank Hollis that yes, he wanted to continue to work with the Foundation, but he couldn't get right back into everything right away. The Santos family would continue to live in San Luis Obispo, but his kids needed the security of having their father with them, at least for this coming year. Peter and Miranda were in high school, and being a teenager was hard enough with two loving parents in the house. Many adolescents managed quite well with only one parent and far too many in foster care managed with none at all, but Matt wanted his son and daughter to have their remaining parent in their house day in and day out. And of course little Rachel, at five, was even more in need of having her father's company and caring.

Having lost her own mother, CJ was well aware of the soundness of Matt's logic. She remembered Paul telling her that it took him over three years to make peace with losing Alicia, so she knew she was in this for at least an intermediate haul. She could do this for as long as it took Matt to adjust. Correction, she told herself, she and Danny could do this. Together, there was nothing she and Danny couldn't manage.

_September 17_

"It went fine, Danny. He knew who I was; your wife, I mean. He told me how pleased he was with the book. He remembered about our trying for Caitlin and was glad that 'God had blessed us with a daughter', to use his words. He told me that we were doing Christ's work, quoted one of the Theresa's, Avila, I think, something about Christ having no hands but ours, that sort of thing. We got a blessing and some rosaries and medals. And I didn't trip on anything or break anything. But I don't think I'll go back there for Mass. I'm going to find a small, quiet church."

_September 19; Los Angeles International Airport; 1:00 PM_

"Mama's plane?"

Caitlin pointed to the sleek private jet that was approaching the Hollis hangar.

"Yes, sweetie, that's Mama's plane," Danny said. Then he reached out and grabbed the little girl, who had taken off toward the tarmac. "No, we have to wait here, Caitlin. The plane will come to a stop and then they will roll out the steps. Now, Mama isn't alone on the plane, so she might not be the first one off the plane. And even if she is, it isn't polite to block the way for the other people on the plane."

A few minutes later, CJ walked down the mechanical stairway and hurried over to her family. Paddy and Caitlin mobbed her as she knelt down to hug them, smothering her with big sloppy kisses.

Danny stood to one side, enjoying the sight of his children with their mother. Then as the kisses stopped and the kids continued to hug, CJ looked up at him and smiled.

"I think they're glad to see me."

"I think I know the feeling," Danny replied, helping her to her feet. The brief, sweet kiss they exchanged did little to hide the restrained passion in their glances and their smiles.

After dropping off the guys at McGill, the Hollis jet had stopped in Chicago to discharge two more experts, so everyone cleared customs at that point. The tarmac crew told Danny that he could bring the car up to the plane for CJ's bags.

Paddy and Caitlin asked CJ to sit in the back with them and she did. Danny told the three of them that he felt like a chauffeur and laughed when Paddy told him to "just deal with it, Daddy". Danny reminded his son that Danny had written a note so Paddy could miss school today because Mama was coming home and that Paddy should be nice to him.

Danny explained again about time zones when CJ fell asleep poolside after lunch and he carried her to the bedroom. He reminded the kids that Mama might need a day or two to adjust to Pacific time. He helped Paddy with his homework (brought home by Maggie). They ate a light supper on trays in CJ and Danny's room and then watched a video on the TV in there. By the time Danny had finished putting the children to bed, CJ was once again dead to the world, not even grumbling when Danny changed her shorts and halter for a nightgown. He considered taking something to help him sleep, but decided that holding his wife in his arms after three weeks was drug enough.

_September 20; 4:00 AM_

Danny woke to find CJ staring at him and smiling.

"Hi."

"Hi yourself, Fishboy. Danny, I've got to tell you - "

"And I've got to tell you," Danny replied, "But that can wait. This can't".

Pulling her against him with his left arm, Danny pushed his pajama bottoms off his hips. He used his legs to free himself from the garment as he used his hand to pull CJ's nightgown from her body. Then he carefully rolled himself into the space between her parted and welcoming thighs. They lay there together for some time, not joined, not moving, just reveling in the closeness to the other, until nature demanded fulfillment.

Afterward, CJ told him about Lars and Danny told her about Beverly. Danny told his wife that she was attractive and desirable and while he might want to punch Lars in the mouth for approaching her, he couldn't fault Lars' taste. CJ told her husband that good men were hard to find and that maybe she should take Caitlin to preschool for the next week or so, just to make sure that Beverly knew that this particular good man was hers.

"As long as you don't punch her in the mouth."

"As long as she keeps her hands off you, Danny."

"The only hands I want on me are yours."

"I hear and obey."


	78. Go Irish

**Go Irish!**

CJ/Danny

Rating Adult –

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

Note: I'm vague about dates because the Notre Dame football schedule has not yet been set for 2016. However, they will be playing Boston College at home and USC in California.

**A Saturday in October, 2016; South Bend, IN; 1:00 PM EDT**

"Go Irish!"

Her mouth full of grilled polish sausage, CJ waved at the party of three middle-aged men who walked by their station in the parking lot outside the stadium.

"Go Irish!" Danny hoisted his Bloody Mary toward the group.

"Giwish!"

"Well, aren't you just the sweetest little thing!" one of the men said to Caitlin. "You look so darling in your little cheerleader outfit. Is she your daughter?" The man looked at Danny as he asked the question.

"Well, of course, she's his, Don!" one of the other men said. "Just look at the two of them!"

"But maybe a granddaughter, Brad," the first man snapped back.

I guess we really are old, CJ thought to herself. If she and Danny had met in school, married soon after college and started a family right away, and if their kids had done the same, they could easily have grandkids the age of Paddy and Caitlin. In fact, Danny's dorm mate Dennis and his wife had passed around an ultrasound last night, proudly proclaiming that they would be "Mamaw and Papaw" come March.

"She's my little girl, my daughter, a late in life blessing," Danny said, holding out his hand. "Danny Concannon, class of '81. This is Caitlin."

The men introduced themselves as being alumni from 1976, "just before your time" and after a few opinions about the outcome of the game, headed off to find the rest of their tailgate party.

CJ and Danny had taken Paddy out of school on Friday and the four of them flew up for the game with Boston College – what Danny's old roommate turned Jesuit Tim termed the "Pope Bowl" – and an informal reunion with the men with whom Danny had shared a dormitory floor his senior year at Notre Dame.

CJ knew that it had always been in the back of Danny's mind that Paddy would follow him to South Bend when the boy was old enough for college. But while Paddy was really happy to be with them on the trip, and not just because he got to miss a day of school, it was Caitlin that had fallen in love with everything about the place. "Big Jesus!" the little girl exclaimed when she first saw the huge "Word of Life" mural on the library. When they went to the grotto at dusk to light candles for Danny's and CJ's parents, for Leo, for Helen Santos, for Hugh and Brianna, among others, Caitlin was mesmerized by the glow and didn't want to leave. At the pep rally, Caitlin imitated the acrobatics of the cheerleaders and when Danny took the kids to the book store earlier today while CJ caught up on some work for the Foundation, the child had no trouble convincing Danny to not only buy her the cheerleading outfit but to let her change into it right away. Later, walking over to the stadium area, Caitlin, with typical four-year old persistence, kept asking "why", first about the colors of the leaves, then about why they were on the ground, then why the leaves at home didn't turn and fall, etc., and then said she wanted to come live "where things get pretty". "It's a good idea," Danny said. "There's a good chance that the Holy Cross fathers will still be insisting on single-sex dorms fourteen years from now."

The guys were in better spirits this year than they were last year, CJ reflected. They still missed Phil, of course, and there were some broken voices at 8:00 AM that morning, when Tim said Mass for their departed suitemate, but with the passing of twelve months, the loss was less raw, and CJ was certain that there would not be a repeat of last year's over-alcoholed wake in the motel bar. For one thing, there had been a miscommunication with Scotland and there was no bottle of MacDonald whiskey to share.

"Here, try this artichoke dip," Dave, the guy who lived in Kalamazoo and who had rented the RV they were using as their partying base, passed a warm bowl to CJ and to Tim. Dave and Tamryn had done an excellent job with the food and drink, with a nice variety of things from the exotic – the middle-Eastern appetizer and antipasto platter – to the mundane – potato chips and dip, from breakfast – sweet rolls, hash brown casserole, bacon – to lunch – the afore-mentioned polish sausage, ribs, and shrimp. CJ was more than glad to hand over a very nice check to help with the food, glad that she wasn't responsible for anything other than booking the block of rooms for the group and getting the plane tickets for herself, Danny, and the kids.

"If it's okay with you, I'll take Caitlin and head back to the dorm now."

Paige, Phil's youngest daughter, was a freshman this year and the other men had kind of adopted her for the weekend. However, the young woman didn't want to be at the game with her father's friends and had volunteered to watch the little girl so CJ, Danny, and Paddy could enjoy the game without having to deal with multiple bathroom trips and/or crankiness. Paige made it sound like a special adventure to Caitlin, spending time "with lots of big girls", and Caitlin didn't mind the idea. In fact, she was excited because she would get to see all the pretty leaves again. Paige told her that they would stop and play in them and that they could pick up some of them and paste them on paper so Caitlin could take them back to Santa Monica with her tomorrow.

"Are you sure you won't change your mind and join us for dinner and the play?" Tim asked the girl.

"No, I think it should be just you grownups. Besides, I have a date."

CJ could see Danny working to resist the urge to go into protective father-figure mode. It took her back to the summer of '09 and Rehoboth, when Ash was fifteen going on sixteen and had the little romance with Mike the lifeguard. Mike had graduated from Notre Dame in '13 and was now about to start his final year in vet school at Tufts. He and Aisling kept in touch but Danny's niece's heart was bound to Brianna Stewart's only son. Danny seemed to have mellowed in the past seven years, but CJ knew that when Caitlin reached dating age, her husband's paternal instincts would kick back into overdrive.

"I think we should get things wrapped up and put away," Tamryn said. "We don't want to miss the band."

**11:45 PM**

"Danny?"

CJ looked up into the blue eyes staring intently at her.

Thirty minutes ago, they had come back from the evening's festivities, having good-naturedly drowned their sorrows over the last limit Eagles field goal that had ruined the game for the Irish fans, and paid the baby sitter.

And for the last half-hour, Danny had seduced her. That was the only word for it. It had been a long time since she had experienced such tender but thorough foreplay, even allowing for the two little kids sleeping in the next bed. It reminded her of that first night, the night after the election and Leo's death. For a picosecond, it reminded her of that first night with Paul, until Danny's mouth undulating on hers drove all other thoughts (and especially all other men) from her mind. It had been at least three minutes since he had gently slipped inside her and lodged himself firmly and tightly hard against her, groin to groin. And had not moved at all.

"Danny?" CJ whispered again. He was rock hard, he was long, he was thick, and she felt stuffed to her throat, but she needed movement, she needed undulation, she needed thrusting.

"It'll be eight days, my love," Danny whispered back. "I just don't want this to be over that fast. I just want to be so close to you, to hold you and look at you, the two of us locked together like this."

Tomorrow morning, while Danny and the kids would by flying back to California, CJ would be picked up by Frank Hollis and flying over to Dublin to meet with some more experts. By the time she returned late Thursday night, Danny would be in Seattle for a symposium and wouldn't be back in Santa Monica until late Sunday afternoon.

"I know, I'm going to miss you, too, but, Danny -".

The woebegone tone of her voice was matched by the pleading in her eyes and, just as he was unable to resist buying the cheerleader outfit for Caitlin, Danny Concannon was unable to resist slipping a finger between himself and his wife. Luckily, Brianna had taught him well and he was able to provide three quick cresting waves of relief for CJ before taking the plunge himself.

**The next Thursday; Santa Monica, CA; 10:20 PM PDT**

"It's settled, CJ. Paddy and Caitlin are sound asleep and you're dead on your feet. Mike and Steve are sleeping in the living room; you're going to spend the night in their room with Caitlin."

Frank Muñoz spoke with a voice that combined the authority of an Air Force general, a husband, and the friend to whom Danny Concannon had entrusted his family for the next few days. When he had picked up CJ from LAX, he almost had to carry her from the hangar where the Hollis jet had parked. She had dozed off twice on the trip home to Santa Monica.

"For one thing," Frank continued, "I don't feel like carrying you and your rug rats two doors down the block."

"I'll get the kids off to school and then we can catch up," Diana added, taking CJ's arm and walking her toward the bedroom wing. Then she looked over to Frank.

"I'm going to help her undress, and then I'll come to bed."

"And then I'll help undress you."

"Frank!" Diana said, half scolding, half laughing.

**Friday morning; 8:00 AM**

Although she was still on European time, CJ slept until Paddy came into the boys' room to kiss her awake. After opening his present, a sweatshirt from Trinity College, he pleaded twice to be allowed to stay home with his Mama. However, CJ pointed out that he had already missed a day of school last week in order to go to Notre Dame and she sent him on his way to St. Monica's school complex with the four Muñoz kids, promising that they would do something special that afternoon and evening.

"And by special, I mean sending out for pizza and eating whatever junk food I have in cupboard, fridge, or freezer," CJ whispered to Diana.

Now the two women were seated on Diana's sunny deck, enjoying their coffee and bagels. Ireland had been typically damp and chilly, so CJ reveled in the southern California bright warmth. Destiny was lying over CJ's feet, glad to see another member of the family back where she (almost) belonged.

"Mama! I glad you home!" Caitlin came running outside at the sight of her mother, trailing the caveman doll that Aisling had given her.

CJ gathered the child into her arms. "I missed you, too, Caitlin." Then, noticing the bruise on her left upper arm, "What happened? Did you fall and hurt yourself?"

"Big boy hit me," Caitlin answered.

Alarmed, CJ looked up at Diana.

"It happened yesterday at preschool. You know they also run a drop-in day care on the property. Well, there was a flood at McKinley and they closed the school for the day. Caitlin was wearing her little cheerleader outfit and, according to the director of the school, some fourth grade boy started making some comments about Notre Dame, apparently his brother plays for USC. Well, Caitlin started chanting 'Go, Irish!' over and over, so the kid dumped his grape juice all over Caitlin."

"All purple, Mama!" Caitlin said with a little whine and ran off into the house.

"Well," Diana continued, "Caitlin kicked him in the shin, and he hit Caitlin before the teachers could intervene.

"The director called me, called the boy's mom, who called me from her job, she was so apologetic, said for you to send her the bill to replace the outfit – there's no way that grape stain will come out – and the day care also apologized for letting the two groups into the break room at the same time. It was a new employee who didn't realize what can happen with that age spread."

Caitlin returned carrying the stained little turtleneck and jumper. Diana was right; the white turtleneck's sleeves were ruined and even the green of the jumper was permanently stained. Only the navy part of the ensemble didn't show the juice.

"Mean boy! Can't wear again!" Caitlin eyes filled with tears.

"I know, sweetie. But we'll get you a new one, right away," CJ told her daughter. She would order it later today from the website, pay extra for express shipping, and stick the other family with the charges. Then, she remembered that she was the grownup and the mother. "But, do you really think you should have kicked the boy? Is that what nice little girls do?" she lightly scolded.

Caitlin dropped her eyes. "No," she said, scuffing her bare foot on the deck. "Dis-pointed in me? Daddy be mad?"

"Well, I think we need to wait and talk to Daddy, but I think there might be extenuating circumstances."

"What's stenuating stances mean?"

"It means that maybe, just this once, Daddy and I will not be disappointed. Now, go get dressed." CJ pushed the little girl away from her with a light shove on her butt.

"I probably should have been a bit more stern," CJ said to Diana, "but I feel bad enough that Danny and I had to leave Paddy and her alone like this."

"Why?" Diana asked. "Paddy, for one, loves staying over with Maggie. Caitlin and I had a good time when she wasn't in preschool. It was almost enough to make me think about another baby. Almost," Diana asserted as CJ began to smile. "I'm not that crazy.

"Besides, you've gone away before, for weekends and short getaways with Danny. We all have. Look and Yan and Li, they're so excited about their cruise next week, you'd think they were going to the Orient or the Mediterranean for a month instead of just down to Ensenada and back for three days. And remember when Pete and Sonya took that trip to Australia right after Radak started college? They came back looking younger and happier than we had seen them in a long time, since maybe when they were naturalized."

"It's stupid, I know, but it feels different, being gone for work rather than for ourselves as a couple. Hopefully, there won't be many times when Danny and I have commitments at the same time.

"Anyway, can you believe a kid getting so riled up about such a silly little thing? I mean, the Irish won't be here for another month. It's one thing for the alumni, I guess. Danny already has our tickets and has made the reservations for the parties that weekend, but that's different."

"Get'em when they're young," Diana laughed. "And, of course, Danny does teach at SC as well as getting his PhD there.

"So, do you think that Caitlin or Paddy will follow Danny? What about you? If they go to Berkeley, it'd be in state tuition."

Caitlin came back, dressed, and the two women fed the little girl before packing up the kids' stuff. CJ invited the Muñoz family to come over on Saturday evening after church for "ribs and stuff I'll buy at the deli counter" before taking her daughter and her dog back to their own place.

**Sunday evening; 9:30 PM PDT**

"Here you go."

Danny handed two glasses to CJ and climbed into the hot tub beside her.

"Thank you, honey," CJ answered and took a sip of her wine while waiting for Danny to take the other goblet from her. "Everyone's down for the count?"

"Yeah. Paddy made one more plea to stay home tomorrow to be with us. I told him that as a 'big kid of seven', he has responsibilities; I also promised him that he and I would do some sort of guy thing next Saturday, if it was okay with you."

"That's fine, Danny. Hank and Steve are taking Pammy, Caitlin, and Dafna to that little tea room up in Malibu, remember? I just might try to get a spa appointment. Did you talk with Caitlin?"

"About the incident? Yeah, but my heart really wasn't in it. What I really wanted to do, what I may still do, is tell her that she should never, never start anything, but the next time some boy starts something with her and gets physical with it, that she should aim a little higher when she kicks," Danny finished with a laugh.

"Maybe."

"Babe?" Danny asked, noticing the somewhat wistful tone. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, just thinking about how now it starts. How we have to walk that careful line with her. We have to try to guide her in figuring out how to be careful about not putting herself in danger without making her feel that she needs to stifle her own self-expression and self-confidence. Right now, it's just knowing when to take a stand, when to walk away, and when to run. Later, it's going to be her wardrobe, or where she goes at night."

"Well, right now all she cares about is getting her new cheerleader outfit.

"But enough about the kids. This is our time," Danny said, turning to CJ. Taking the wine from her hand, he set the two glasses on the ground beside the hot tub.

Fifteen minutes later, CJ sighed as Danny exploded between her legs. Pulling his head down to her mouth, she whispered into his ear.

"Go Irish!"


	79. The Second Time Around

**The Second Time Around**

CJ/Danny, Josh/Donna, Sam, mentions of others

Rating Late Teen –

Spoilers through end of series

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

**Thanksgiving Day, 2016; Santa Monica, CA**;

CJ had no idea what time it was, other than it was still what technically would be called "night". The bedroom was dark, there was no noise coming from the rest of the house, and the only noises coming from outside were those of ocean waves gently breaking on the shore and one or two cars far off in the distance. She was pretty sure it was Thursday, if only because it was already 10:30 PM on Wednesday when the limo had dropped off her, Jessica, and Nancy after their latest three day session for the Foundation up in San Luis Obispo. She had collapsed into sleep quickly after looking in on the kids and, with Danny's help, getting out of her clothes and into a nightgown.

Neither did CJ have any idea how long she had been sleeping since Danny had awakened her earlier in the night, his warm kisses and warmer breath against the back of her neck, the side of her face, her shoulder as his fingers trailed down her stomach and into her vulva. She remembered feeling neutral about sex at first, then realizing that even if she weren't aroused, she had missed having Danny beside her, around her, and, most of all, inside her. And since taking care of Danny could be just a matter of accommodating him, why shouldn't she push her butt back against his groin as she shifted her upper leg in invitation, in acceptance of his entrance into her? His thrusting firmness felt good and his fingers continued to work their magic. She climaxed gently right before he did, although she was pretty sure that the fluttering was mostly muscle and membrane memory, and had drifted back into sleep.

So had she been sleeping again for five minutes, for fifty, or more? Were Danny's current ministrations meant to bring her down from orgasm or to arouse her for another session? Was the semi-firm pressure against her ass growing softer or firmer? She giggled to herself. You would think that after ten years of sleeping with this man, she could tell if he was coming or going.

Had it really been ten years? Earlier in the month, she had been in Boston on Hollis business and had stopped on the way home in Washington, where there had been a ten year anniversary service for Leo. Mallory's son, one of Leo's many namesakes, was now pushing ten and Mallory now had two other kids, both little girls. Huck and Molly had turned thirteen this past summer, and CJ knew that Toby had managed to hide his disappointment that there had been neither bar- nor bat-mitzvah for his children. But then again, Toby had told her with his slight smile, had there been a confirmation ceremony at Andrea's Episcopalian church. Ed's oldest son, now a sophomore at RIT, was engaged to be married and Matt Skinner and his partner were now grandfathers. And wasn't it just a few months ago that Liz' Gus was a five-year old sitting at his grandfather's desk in the Oval Office while she had gone over the plans for the tree lighting?

Ten years with this man. Eighteen if you counted the years of waiting, of wanting, of not knowing for sure, at least on her part. She might not know exactly what was going on behind her right now, but she knew this man. She knew his face, the one that could easily appear to be that of a cuddly teddy bear, especially when he let his hair or his beard get a little too unfamiliar with the barber. She knew his arms and his shoulders, the ones always ready to catch her and hold her even as they let her fly free to fulfill her potential. She knew his mouth, the mouth that could kiss her into orgasm. She knew his work, the printed word, the work that had garnered prestige, the work that had garnered financial reward, the work that was as much a part of his lifeblood as were she and the kids. And she knew his spoken words, words of love, encouragement, advice, and warning for her, words of love, encouragement, advice, warning, and correction for their kids.

Suddenly, CJ decided that she wanted Danny to be taking her up and not down, and that she wanted more than the rather mild swell she had experienced the first time.

So she turned to face him and, moving one hand to pull his face to hers and her other hand to his groin, made sure that he knew that this time, the second time, she would be a more active, more demanding participant.

Afterward, it was Danny who mumbled words of love and thanks and drifted off to sleep immediately. CJ thought about looking at the clock but decided against it. It was still dark, and, if the second time around was any indication, there was still some potential for the rest of night.

**8:45 AM**

"Mama! You're home!"

Paddy and Caitlin jumped up from the table as CJ walked into the kitchen. CJ bent down to grab the two of them into her arms.

"I came home last night, but you guys were asleep." She touched the side of her face where Caitlin's sticky kiss had landed. "So, whatcha eating?"

"Daddy made pancakes with apples in them. And sausage," Caitlin answered.

"And real maple syrup from Grandpa Jed's farm!" Paddy added. "Happy Thanksgiving!"

"Hi, there," Danny said, handing her a big mug of coffee.

"Hi yourself," CJ replied with a smile.

"Mama! See my turkey!" Caitlin handed her mother a piece of paper.

"Oh my! What a pretty turkey! Did you draw it all by yourself?"

"I traced my hand. See," Caitlin put her hand on the outline of the turkey's body.

"Well, aren't you clever!" CJ remembered the thanksgiving three years ago when Paddy had made the same drawing in pre-school. She remembered her son's slightly disappointed face when she had told him that she had made the same drawing many, many years ago in Dayton and didn't say anything to her daughter. In some ways, motherhood was easier the second time; not much, just a bit, but every bit helped.

"I am *so* glad that we didn't make any plans for this holiday," CJ told Danny as he set a plate in front of her.

"Joel and Hannah's doesn't count as a plan?"

"That's different, just up the street. No driving involved, except for getting the wine up to the Feldman's."

The Concannon family had received pretty much the same Thanksgiving invitations they had received the year that Paddy was born – Josh and Donna (but to the beach this time, not to a condo in DC), the Bartlet's at the farm, Rick and Ginger in Newport, Randy and Gina at the winery. Also, Alison and Mitch wanted them to come to Harper's Ferry; it would be the first time that all three kids – Hogan, Palmer, and Nelson – plus spouses and kids would be together since Hogan's wedding. But just as they had in '09, CJ and Danny decided that they would spend the holiday in Santa Monica. Although, Danny had told her, if it weren't for all her traveling for Frank Hollis, the idea of going up to Albion might have appealed.

"Are you still up for church, babe? Or would you rather take a nap until it's time to go mingle?"

"Would it be so horrible if we skipped it this year?"

"Of course not."

**Early afternoon; home of Joel and Hannah Feldman;**

"So, welcome home, stranger."

Sally Rogers walked up to CJ, who was sitting on the Feldman's deck with Diana and Laura Robbins, and put an arm around her shoulders.

CJ reached up to kiss Sally's cheek. "Thank you. And congratulations! Danny told me this morning. Are you managing okay? Morning sickness and all that? How does Will feel about being a big brother?"

After several years of trying, Sally and Billy were pregnant again.

"I'll probably cut back on showing houses, but other than that, I'm doing fine. Will's very excited. In fact, we had planned to wait until today to tell all of you, but the kid heard me discussing the baby with my mom and went and told all the kids, so that spoiled that.

"So, how's the world traveler? How long are you home for this time?"

"As far as the foundation goes, I'm not doing any official work until after the first of February. There's a party at the Hollis' on December 2nd, and then Sam's ball the weekend after that up in Sacramento, but that's the extent of my treks until the end of what Danny's brother-in-law's family calls the forty days of Christmas. It's part of what I negotiated with Frank. You know, the first time I did this, I was coming off eight years of a White House West Wing schedule and I really didn't know much else besides the constant high level of activity day in and day out. But now it's the second time around and I've come to realize that there is room for balance in all things and that the holidays should be a time for family and friends, a time of good feelings and good companionship."

"Amen to that," Laura added. "That's what I told Drew when he apologized for not coming home this year. It was supposedly 'our turn' for Thanksgiving, but Becca's younger brother is shipping out to Italy next week and it would be the last time her folks would have everyone together for almost a year. The last thing I want to do is cause any grief for my son."

"I remember the first year that Frank and I told both our families that we were going to spend Thanksgiving here. For some reason, both sets resented it more than they resented the decision to keep to our own house on Christmas Day," Diana chimed in.

"Well, Thanksgiving is one day," Sally said. "Christmas is a week. Or more."

A cheer came from the family room where the men were gathered.

"And you would think that for one day, they could give up football," Diana laughed.

"At least we're three hours behind," CJ said. "I can remember the first time I cooked for Josh, Sam, and Toby, and having the meal wait and wait for the game to be over. I had made _pommes soufflés_ with sweet potatoes that needed to be eaten right away. The next time, I knew to not make anything that couldn't stand forever, or wasn't good reheated. Also, it was easier. I did a lot the night before."

**December 9; Sacramento, CA; 5:45 PM**

CJ sighed as Danny pulled up the zipper its final half-inch. He remained still for half a second, then slid his hands down CJ's back, over her hips, and cupped them over her butt. He squeezed slightly and she bit her lip as the sensations translated into throbbing as they travelled inside her from back to front.

I really shouldn't, CJ thought to herself even as she reached behind her for Danny's right hand and pressed it hard against her and shuttered.

She didn't need to turn around, didn't need a mirror, to know that Danny would be wearing a self-satisfied smile on his face, that his male ego reveled in the knowledge that he could arouse her and then satisfy her so easily. She knew he didn't mind that this time, at least, the physical pleasure was all one-sided.

Danny moved his hand up to her waist to hold her in place and bent down to kiss the back of her neck.

"Penny for your thoughts," he murmured against her shoulder.

"Remembering that I wore this dress to the balls for the President's second inauguration. Remembering dancing with you after you guys went to get Donna. Remembering how I wondered what it would be like if we wandered into some dark little corner in some dark little side room and reenacted something out of a drug-store romance novel, wondered what it would be like to have those reporter hands of yours doing what they just did, only underneath my dress, inside my underwear."

What the previous actions did not accomplish, her words did, and CJ felt Danny go rock hard behind her.

"I remember seeing you in this dress; remember dancing with you in this dress. I remember wanting to sneak you into the cloakroom, bend you over a table, lift your skirts, undo my pants, and push myself inside you. I remember wanting to take you home with me, to slip my fingers under these little straps", he played with the thin strips of red satin, "to pull down the zipper I just pulled up, to find out if your nipples were lighter, darker, or the same shade as this dress, to find out what kind of panties were under this dress, or if there were any underwear at all." By this time, Danny's voice was hoarse with lust and love. "But this time, at the end of the evening, I can do all of it, we can do all of it. Not at the ball, but in the luxury of this room. I'm glad we've got a second time."

**9:30 PM**

"I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus".

The orchestra was playing a foxtrot medley of Christmas tunes and CJ was dancing with Josh.

"So, congratulations on making equity partner. I guess you guys are really putting down the roots, what with Donna elected to the assembly and all. I guess you're well settled into this new life, out of DC."

"Well, we'll see, CJ, we'll see," Josh replied, twirling CJ around and dipping her as the set came to an end.

"Joshua?" CJ started to ask, but was interrupted by the arrival of Sam and Donna, Danny and Morgan. Soon they were joined by Rick and Ginger, Bonnie and Jean-Luc, and Glenn and Ainsley.

"Listen, everyone," Sam said. "We'd really like it if you could come to our suite about 12:30, when all this is over. In the meantime, Morgan and I have some more hands to shake." Sam lifted his wife's hand to his lips and then California's first couple went to work the room.

The band began another set and Danny reached for his wife.

"You look absolutely gorgeous tonight, darling," Danny told her. "I'm glad you wore this dress. Maybe we should try to find a secluded little spot," he ended with a whisper.

CJ giggled. "Well, now I'm really glad I didn't wear the purple."

"I don't remember a purple."

"You were probably out doing primaries. I wore it for the Nobel laureates' dinner when Dr. Takahashi fell and hit his head. That was the same day as the Great Canadian-American Snow Goose War and when Cliff and Santos bluffed Haffley on the stem-cell bill."

"And the day before Toby engineered the President calling on that kid who wanted the voting age lowered," Danny added. "I had taken a week off, had some vacation time to burn. I was watching that press conference from Grenada and I did a spit-take with my planter's punch.

"Sometimes, CJ, I think about all those formal occasions in the White House, especially the ones when I was there, covering them. There were times when I knew that, sooner or later, I would be going to things like this with you, but then there were times when I felt like you were the unachievable angel, so far beyond my reach. I'm glad for the second chances with you, the second chances with these dresses."

**After the ball**

As usual, Sam and Morgan had taken a suite in the hotel where their guests were staying and they had invited their friends from the Bartlet years to relax with them after the formal occasion. The guys had taken off their jackets and ties; the women had kicked off their heels. Bottles of after-dinner liqueurs were open on the sideboard, alongside a plate of sliced fruit, some chocolates, salted nuts, and cupcakes.

"Bonnie, what's this about Nancy lending you Jessica?" Donna asked.

"My senior admin had to take family medical leave and I've had to farm out her tasks to the others, so I'm a little short-staffed," Bonnie answered. "I had promised Matt some help with getting everything settled in his life and the kids'. He's still reeling from losing Helen. Nancy suggested that Jessica come up to help him. As a widow, she would know what he's going through, would probably be of more help than a young twenties single woman. And Matt says that Jessica's been a godsend."

Rick and Ginger made a move to get up and leave. They needed to fly back to New Jersey first thing in the morning. Chantelle was dancing in the local production of the Nutcracker Saturday evening.

Everyone else was going home Sunday, except for CJ and Danny. The two of them decided to take an extra day. They would wander through the southern part of gold country and spend the night in Jackson. On Monday, they would skirt the western edge of Yosemite before picking up route 99 at Fresno and heading home through Bakersfield, arriving late Monday night. Danny thought he might even try his hand at cutting a tree if they happened across a Christmas farm.

"Well, before you go," Sam stood up, grabbed Morgan's hand, and pulled her up beside him, "I wanted to let all of you know that after the BCS championship game, I will be announcing my bid for the presidency in '18. Sam looked over to Glenn and Ainsley. "I know that, officially, the two of you will have to support the sitting president, but I hope that, unofficially, I'll have your best wishes."

Everyone started talking at once, congratulating and teasing Sam, hugging Morgan.

"Hey! Hey, everyone!" Josh tried to get the attention of the group, but had no success.

Then Donna put her thumb and forefinger to her mouth and whistled. "Josh has something to say," she announced.

"We'll start the groundwork and set up the chairs after the holidays," Josh announced, "but I'll be calling you all for preliminary stuff over the next few weeks."

"Oh, by the way, Josh will be campaign manager," Sam added.

Danny looked at CJ and slightly raised one eyebrow; CJ smiled back.

Once again, decisions would have to be made, decisions that could change their future. But this time, both Danny and CJ knew that whatever path was chosen, it would be chosen by both of them together, after talking it out, talking about how they would make it work. This time around, there would be no question about missing windows.


	80. Twentyfirst Century Man

**Twenty-first Century Man**

CJ/Danny

Rating Adult –

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

To my knowledge, Vicky Chicky does not exist, but, then, I don't work for a toy manufacturer nor do I watch Saturday morning children's programming. Maybe I should apply for a patent just in case ?

**December 20, 2016; Los Angeles International Airport; 2:15 PM PST**

Danny Concannon pushed "redial" on his mobile as he passed by the sign warning him that he was leaving the secured area of the airport. Once again, he received a busy signal and once again, CJ (or whoever was on the land-line) was not picking up on the "call waiting" signal. Danny decided against trying CJ's mobile a third time. Traffic would be relatively light at this time of day and he should be home shortly.

It had been a last-minute call to take part in a symposium at Berkeley, a request to fill in for a colleague whose father-in-law had died. Danny's grades for the fall semester were already filed, and CJ had no Hollis commitments until ML King Weekend, so there was no problem with Danny helping out for a few days. Danny had flown up Sunday afternoon, leaving his car at the long-term lot and now he caught the shuttle to retrieve it and head home.

On the drive, he briefly wondered about the long phone call. Paddy and Maggie had discovered the telephone a few weeks ago, and he, CJ, and the Muñoz' had found it necessary to restrict the two second graders to three calls a week, but today was the last day at school until after the new year and the kids should just be getting out for the break.

Thirty minutes later, Danny walked into the courtyard and saw Frank and Diana sitting in the family room with CJ. After kissing his wife, Danny looked around at the others.

"What's up?"

"A major crisis of sorts at the school, honey," CJ told him. "I sort of got elected parent point person; that's why I didn't answer when you called. One of the fifth-graders, Quentin Knight, decided to let all the first and second graders know that there was no Santa Claus, no Easter Bunny, no Tooth Fairy, that it was all a 'big hoax by grownups on dumb little kids', to use his exact words. For some of the younger ones, the parents were able to convince the kids that Quentin was just being mean, but for kids like Paddy and Maggie, well - ".

"Maggie has been asking some questions," Diana added, "and you know that the two of them are incapable of keeping anything from the other, except for things like birthday and Christmas gifts".

"And Paddy has had the same questions," Danny said, "but I think that we managed to find reasonable answers, at least for now. I know that this might be the last year, or that maybe even they were letting us think they still believed because maybe they thought that if we knew they didn't believe, they wouldn't get toys anymore, just clothes. But I really wanted him to learn the truth at his own pace. I know I'm a middle-aged man, but part of me wants to throttle this Quentin kid."

"Don't worry," Frank said with a laugh. "Mike took care of that. And managed to get himself a week's worth of detention, and probation for the rest of the school year, in the process. Mr. and Mrs. Knight actually had the temerity to ask me what further 'punishment' I intended to, and I quote, 'inflict on your brat', for beating up their little darling. I told them that it was none of their business. Mike told me that he would take whatever I decided but that sometimes, a guy has to do what a guy has to do and he wasn't sorry for what he did. I told him that he broke the school rules by fighting and that he had to face up to the school's discipline, but, as far as I was concerned, it was justified."

"Most of the parents wanted some disciplinary action taken against Quentin, but, as the principal said, the only thing he was guilty of was being an a-hole," CJ added. "Anyway, we brought them here and tried to explain that in some sense, the spirit of Santa is what is more important, but the two of them just said they wanted to be alone for a while. They're in Paddy's room."

"What about Caitlin?" Danny asked.

"I took her over to Hank and Steve's before Frank brought the kids home. She has no idea what is going on."

"I think we should get going," Diana said. "I'm going to get Maggie now."

Danny followed Diana to Paddy's room and after the Muñoz family left, he sat down next to his son.

"So. I guess we have a lot to talk about."

The little boy just shrugged his shoulders.

"Listen, buddy, why don't you and I take a walk down to the beach and we can talk, man to man?" Danny suggested.

"Can Destiny come too?"

"I don't know. Can she?"

That brought a small smile to Paddy's face.

"**May** Destiny come with us, Daddy?"

"I don't see why not."

Fifteen minutes later, Danny and Paddy were walking just outside of the surf while Destiny darted in and out of the low-level waves.

"Okay," Danny said. "Do you want me to start or do you want to start?"

"Why do big people tell lies like this? You and Mama have always told me to tell the truth."

"I'm not really sure how it started, Paddy, except that Santa Claus is based on a real person. St. Nicholas was real. I can help you find all sorts of articles online about his life, and the people that he helped. There are all sorts of stories about how he brought little gifts of candy and toys to boys and girls in Holland. And we will do that later. Somehow, over the years, the legend developed in its current form.

"But what I want you to understand, is that parents and other grownups perpetuate the legend out of love, because of the joy it brings to children. And, maybe, also because the idea of something miraculous like a single man being able to deliver toys to children all over the world, in a flying sleigh pulled by reindeer, is a fantasy that appeals to that part of us that wants to believe in miracles."

"But if parents have to buy the presents, what about the boys and girls whose families are poor? It doesn't seem fair to make those kids think they are getting things when their folks can't buy them. It would make those kids think that Santa didn't think they were good enough, Daddy."

Danny's heart swelled at the thought of his son, only seven years old, would think of those other children.

"Well, a lot of parents will save up during the year, give up buying some of the things they want, or work an extra job to get the things for their kids. Plus, there are a lot of other people who donate money to help those parents. When children mail letters to Santa, there are people who read them and try to help the kids whose parents can't afford toys."

"Why, Daddy? Why do people do that if the kids don't know?" Paddy looked up at his father. He really wanted to understand.

"Because it makes them feel good to make someone else happy. Don't you feel good when you get a present for Mama, or Caitlin, or Maggie, or me?"

"Yes, but you all thank me. I like being thanked."

"But when you buy a present for Destiny, does she thank you? Does she know about Christmas and Santa?" Danny asked his son. When Paddy shook his head from side to side, Danny continued. "So why?"

"Because making her happy makes me happy."

"I know. And, in a very real sense, Paddy, Santa is real, not with a body, but as a spirit, something like an angel. The idea of Santa binds together many, many people to do what the idea of Santa is all about. In a sense, we are Santa's body. You know, there is a prayer by St. Teresa, the one from Spain, that says that right now, Jesus needs our hands and feet to do His work. That's the way it is with Santa. He's in heaven and we do his work. Does that make sense?"

"Sort of; I guess," Paddy said.

"Paddy, sooner or later, you and Maggie would have figured this out on your own. But it was horribly mean of Quentin to spoil it for you and the others before you were ready. In one sense, I can't agree with what Mike did, beating him up, but I can totally understand it. It's what a guy does because he loves his little sister. So you need to make sure that Caitlin doesn't find out, not until she is ready. You'll need to pretend that you still believe, in front of her. It's part of growing up. Do you think you can do that for your sister? And for all the other little kids here and at school?"

"So I'd be like a grown up?"

"Well, it's a start. But there's a lot more you have to learn and a lot more years in which to learn it.

"It's getting late. I think we should start back."

"Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"Could we get some ice cream on the way back?"

"I don't know. Mama might not want us to spoil supper," Danny said.

"But one small cone won't hurt. It would be like eating dessert first," Paddy replied.

"You know, you're right. Sometimes you eat dessert first."

**Christmas morning**

"Look, Mama! Santa got me Vicky Chicky!"

"I see! You are one lucky little girl, Caitlin!"

Danny exchanged smiles with his wife. Someday, (hopefully a long time from now), Danny intended to ask God if there was any rhyme or reason behind what became the "must have" toy each holiday season. Although, he reasoned, a toy stuffed chicken that was loaded, and could be reloaded, with little eggs that the chicken's microchip would "randomly" lay, and whose eggs, also equipped with microchips, would at some point hatch into little stuffed peeps, was not the world's worst idea. And he and CJ had only had to go to five stores this year in order to obtain 2016's version of the Holy Grail.

"Thank you, Mama; thank you, Daddy," Paddy said quietly as Caitlin tore open another box, this one containing a toy incubator for Vicky Chicky's progeny, "sold separately" of course.

Danny sighed.

For the first eight or nine minutes, it was as if the events of Tuesday had not occurred. Paddy had run to the tree in the family room as quickly and excitedly as his little sister. He was overjoyed to see the new bike, one that could accommodate his growing height, and the personalized Louisville Slugger ™ wooden bat, but by the time he got to the box containing the Notre Dame football helmet with its coat of 24K gold, Danny could see the memory of the disillusion Paddy, Maggie, and the others had suffered creeping back into the little boy's eyes.

Danny wanted, more than anything, to pick up his son and hold him in a tight embrace, but he instinctively knew that Paddy needed to be treated like the slowly maturing young man who had emerged four days ago. Danny put his hand on Paddy's shoulder.

"You're welcome, son."

"Mama! What did Santa bring you?" Caitlin asked, having opened all her "Santa" presents.

CJ and Danny always wrapped two or three of the gifts they gave each other as being from St. Nick in order to make things seem more real to the kids, so CJ showed her daughter the soft cashmere sweater that brought out the blue in her eyes and the citrine-studded goldfish-shaped hair combs.

Then it was time to open the presents from each other, the ones from the McDonald's, from Randy and Gina, and from Mitch and Allison.

Paddy opened his present labeled "from Daddy". It was a wallet in brown leather, not one with Mickey or Batman on it.

"Thank you, Daddy."

"Well, I figured that a big kid needed a grown-up wallet, son."

Then Paddy saw the dull green paper inside the wallet and opened it.

"Danny?" CJ whispered as she saw the collection of fives and tens. "There must be one hundred-".

"A guy needs to have his own spending money, love," Danny replied. "I'll speak to him about how best to save, to budget. And we'll have rules about what he can and can't buy without our approval. Like it or not, our son is growing up."

Then, he turned to Paddy.

"I wanted to thank you for keeping up appearances for Caitlin, and the other little ones," he said softly. "I'm proud of you."

**Thursday, December 29; mid-afternoon**

Danny took a deep breath and told himself to stay strong.

As he entered his den and caught sight of his daughter, looking so small as she sat in one of the big club chairs, he almost lost his resolve.

Normally, CJ and he handled disciplinary situations jointly. They wanted to avoid too much mother versus father stereotyping with their children. It was very unfortunate that the nature of this particular incident required that Danny handle the situation himself, especially because the nature of this particular incident required that the repercussions for Caitlin be taken to a new level.

Danny sat down on the love seat across from his little girl.

"I'm very disappointed in you, Caitlin."

"I know, Daddy, I shouldn't have done it. But I really wanted to watch the rest of that story about mast- mast-".

"Mastodons," Danny provided her with the word she couldn't quite remember. Sometimes, he wondered where Caitlin got her fascination with ancient earth history.

"But Mama needed to leave for her appointment with Dr. Scott and you needed to go over to Miss Jessica's."

"But it was just a few more minutes! She didn't need to shut the TV off right away!"

"And you certainly didn't need to kick her in the legs, Caitlin! Why would you ever want to hurt your mother, child?" Danny asked.

"I don't know," Caitlin sighed. Then she looked down at her hands and back up at Danny. She told herself it was time to face the music, whatever that really meant. The sooner she started, the sooner it would be over. "I'll go to my room now for time out until you come get me." She started to slip out of the chair.

"Just a minute, young lady. A time out is not enough to pay for what you did. Sometimes, when you do something really bad, you have to face more painful penalties."

Caitlin stopped in her tracks and turned around to face Danny and the man could see fear creeping into her eyes.

"You won't be going to the circus tomorrow afternoon with Uncle Hank and the others; you'll stay home and help me with the laundry while Mama and Paddy go with everyone else."

"But I really wanted to see the lions and tigers, Daddy."

Danny could see the tears forming in her eyes and fought to keep his eyes from reacting the same way, and he knelt down so that his face was on a level with hers.

"I know. Caitlin, I don't like doing this, but I need to make you realize how bad what you did to your Mama really was. Do you understand that I don't like hurting you?"

"I guess so," Caitlin sighed. Then she put her arms around Danny's neck. "It's okay. And you aren't hurting me, not really. Sometimes, when someone doesn't like what you do, they can really, really hurt you."

Later, Danny discussed the incident with CJ.

"I can't stop thinking about what she said. I'm sure she was talking about physical stuff and I'm bothered about it. None of the folks on the block spank, at least not on a regular basis, and even if they felt the need, I can't imagine any of them punishing a child in view, or hearing, of anyone else."

"Do you think there might be something happening at the day care?" CJ asked.

"Well, we've both dropped in unannounced several times, but maybe we should call some of the other parents."

Later, they checked with Paddy, to see if Caitlin had said anything to her big brother.

"Not really. I did tell her about what not to do so you wouldn't spank her." Seeing their puzzled spaces, he explained about the "kids' conference" two years ago at Cape May. "So, when Noah told us that Aunt Donna had spanked him, Leo called a meeting, and we decided that we should never tell a lie about doing something bad, we should never say a mean thing to any grown up, and that we should never, ever hurt an animal. Caitlin wasn't there, but I told her about it last year. Was that okay? I **am** her big brother and I'm supposed to take care of her."

Danny smiled at the idea of Leo's namesake organizing all the "Bartlet kids" and told his son that of course it was okay. Danny told himself that having had to spank Paddy once was one time too many and that if he never had to put another hand on Paddy's butt, or Caitlin's, it would be a good thing.

Over the next few days, CJ called some of the other daycare parents, and both Danny and CJ talked with the neighbors, but nothing came up to explain where Caitlin got the idea that someone would use physical pain as discipline, other than what Paddy had already told them.

**January 29, 2017; Nazareth, KY; 6:45 AM EST**

Danny slipped out of bed, pulled on his robe, grabbed his key, and, opening the door to his room, walked down the hall to the communal bathroom.

On the way back, he glanced down the hall and saw that although it was still dark, the sky was bright with stars; the new moon had been two days ago and there was a thin sliver of silver hanging among the pinpoints of light. They would be leaving Kentucky in much better weather than they had experienced on Friday when they arrived.

The Los Angeles archdiocese wanted to evaluate a program for men, "The Catholic Husband and Father in the Twenty-first Century", and had asked Danny and two others to fly east to attend and evaluate.

Adrian Clay, at twenty-six, was the youngest of the three, but as the only priest (all of nine months), he commandeered the rental car at Louisville's airport and insisted he knew where he was going. What should have been at most an hour drive took over two hours, partly because of the rain and partly because Adrian didn't know that the location of the former motherhouse was really in Bardstown; Nazareth was a holdover name from earlier years.

In any event, Jerry Spencer, the seventy year-old from Sepulveda, and Danny insisted that they stop at a Subway for sandwiches and sodas in case all the hot food had already been stored, and they arrived at the retreat site wet, tired, and hungry.

Jerry said, "Please forgive me, but this is just too rich", and broke out into song.

"Pulled into Nazareth, feeling' 'bout half-past dead."

Danny groaned; Adrian looked puzzled.

Now, forty hours later, Danny returned to his room and began to fill out the evaluation form for the conference.

He decided to do the easy parts first and turned to the section on the accommodations and other physical aspects of the event.

The bed was comfortable, the room warm and well-lit. There was a comfortable easy chair and a desk for any writing. The communal bath and restroom weren't the best choices in the world, but Danny knew that the building was designed to hold many nuns, novices, and postulants back when the order was thriving, some fifty or sixty years ago. There was no individual internet access, just two computers on the first floor that could be used to check email, but, then, if one was coming here for a retreat, one was supposed to leave the world behind, at least for a while.

The meals were simple and good. Coffee, milk, juice, fruit, and cookies were available twenty-four hours a day in the dining hall.

The grounds, once home to a boarding school and a four-year girls' (at that time) college as well as the order's motherhouse, were well-kept, with walking paths to several grottoes, shrines, and the chapel. Notre Dame it wasn't, but maybe Danny was prejudiced.

That was the easy part of the evaluation. Now came the hard part – the retreat topic itself.

Danny was not an overly proud man, but neither was he overly modest. As far as he was concerned, he could have done a much better job planning and conducting the conference.

For one thing, being a twenty-first century husband presupposed having a twenty-first century wife, and for the past ten years, Danny had been blessed with such a creature.

Danny was confident that he had been the right man at the right time for CJ and that he had adjusted to whatever she wanted and/or needed over the past decade, and even before.

For eight years, Danny had played the consummate suitor, always making sure that CJ knew he loved her without crossing the line into stalkerdom. The night of the San Andreo accident, when he had asked her to face the future with him, Danny was nervous but he was reasonably confident that had CJ's beeper not gone off, her answer would have been "yes". He had been willing to wait for January 21, but when Leo died and CJ's White House world came crashing down around her feet, he responded to her need to defy death with sex. And when she needed someone to tell her that it wasn't too late, that she hadn't missed the window, when she needed him to take charge of their relationship, he was masculine without being overly macho.

When Frank Hollis asked her to save the world, he helped her be the epitome of everything Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem, and NOW ever imagined. When Caitlin came along and she wanted to chuck everything except for motherhood, he took over the 1950's breadwinner role without taking on the 1950's lord and master role.

And now that CJ was moving back into philanthropic management, Danny was adjusting once more to the changes in their lives, balancing being a man with being an equal partner.

One thing Danny was sure of – after ten years of marriage, he was more in love than ever with one Claudia Jean Gabrielle Cregg Concannon. Four days from now, he intended to ask her again to marry him, to renew their vows at the end of May. He had already asked Hank to help him design a band of pearls, topaz, and emeralds – the stones for their birthdays, their children's birthdays, including Cosmas and Damian, and the month of their wedding – to put next to her wedding band. He had made plans to take her to Australia, to the Whitsunday Island area, to have the honeymoon she had wanted.

When the discussion turned to the more physical aspects of marriage, Danny felt that the topic was treated as well as could be expected. One of the presenters was still discovering the "have sex every night, or almost every night" movement that had sprung up in some of the other churches almost ten years ago; a second presenter felt that the practice could lead to "using one's wife". Other than observing that a sensitive husband of any century would be respectful of the last few weeks of pregnancy and the first few weeks after birth, and also of any physical and mental issues related to a wife's menstrual cycle, Danny kept out of the discussion. He and CJ had been intimate for most of the nights of their marriage. Then again, the two of them had spent more time apart than a normal couple does, and then there were the months when they were trying for Caitlin, but Danny felt that he and CJ had been living the spirit of the movement quite nicely, and would hopefully continue to do so for the foreseeable future. There had been that one incident about two months ago, right before one of CJ's trips, when he "couldn't", but a quick appointment with his urologist verified that there was nothing wrong with him, and when CJ came home, everything was in perfect working order. The doctor was fairly confident that Danny wouldn't need any "help" in the immediate future, but made sure that Danny knew that if the little pills were ever needed, there was no need for distress or embarrassment.

Of course, Danny and CJ weren't exactly young lovers when they first became intimate, but over the past few years, he was aware of no longer being able to respond as quickly a second or third time. This could have been a problem as there were often times when CJ clearly was in a multi-orgasmic state, but with age also came endurance, and watching CJ's face, or feeling the spasms of her body, as he took her up and down as many times as she needed, made the final one, when he would release with her, that much more wonderful.

Danny knew that raising children took a village, and the two of them relied on their neighbors, on his and CJ's siblings and spouses, on Josh, Donna, Sam, Morgan, the others, especially the Bartlet's, and the church to help them with Paddy and Caitlin. What he didn't need was someone telling him to teach what he and CJ considered less than Christian attitudes to the kids. When the couple who were leading the session on explaining homosexuality to children dithered about "telling them to respect the sinner while detesting the sin", Danny made his objections known. His children, he told the group, accepted that "Uncle Hank" and "Uncle Steve" loved each other the way Mama and Daddy loved each other and sometimes it happened that way. Listening to the criticisms from some of the other participants, some of whom wondered why a man who held such views was in a leadership role at St. Monica's, Danny told them that he had expressed the same views to the Pope himself, so he wasn't about to hide them now. In terms of his own children, he was pretty sure that his son's reaction to girls indicated a heterosexual nature; should that change, he would accept the situation, and love whatever man loved his son. Ditto for his daughter.

Danny sighed again as he read over his evaluation, which he would get photocopied so he could file a report back in California. He wished he could recommend that the archdiocese develop their own program, but he knew that having sent three men to this retreat, it would be viewed as plagiarism. When Danny got home, he would type up his notes and suggest that those in charge of such things request modifications to the program before using it in LA.

**6:15 PM PST; Los Angeles International Airport**

This time, when Danny called the house, CJ answered on the second ring.

**7:00 PM PST; Santa Monica, CA**

This time, the only excitement and hullabaloo that Danny encountered when he had walked in the door was that of one wife, two kids, and one dog being very happy to see him – and, at least on the part of the kids, the presents he brought back with him.

Danny turned to CJ as the kids ran off with their souvenirs from Kentucky. He pulled her into his arms, eager to greet her with more intimacy than he had about five minutes ago when he walked in the door (but with less intimacy than he had planned for a few hours from now, when they were behind their bedroom door.)

"So, how is my twenty-first century husband?" CJ murmured against his throat.

"Extremely happy to be back with the twenty-first century love of my life."


	81. More Today than Yesterday

**More Today than Yesterday**

CJ/Danny

Rating Adult –

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

_June 9, 2017; Whitsunday Islands, Australia_

CJ woke to the faint sounds of birds chirping and gentle waves breaking on the beach. Her eyes still closed, she saw the red glow of the sun on her eyelids and felt its warmth beating down on her. Although it was almost winter in the southern hemisphere, just a few days until the solstice, the weather was tropical. A slight breeze stirred the cotton sarong she was wearing.

Then the rosiness was blocked out, as if a cloud had come over the sun. But the warm breeze grew warmer still, and slightly more intense. A long familiar scent stirred at her nostrils and she opened her eyes to see those of her husband smiling down at her.

"What time is it?" CJ asked Danny. The smile in his eyes reached his mouth as he brushed back a stray lock of hair from her forehead.

"Claudia Jean," Danny admonished softly, using his thumb to rub against her lips.

"I'm sorry," CJ said.

"Okay, but that's the last time," Danny laughingly chided. "The next time - ." He left the sentence unfinished but lightly, playfully, put his hand on the side of her hip.

Three days ago, when they first arrived, Danny had taken their watches and locked them in the safe in the cottage bedroom. For the two weeks of this second (actually, fourth or fifth by now) honeymoon, there would be no hourly time for the two of them. There was a digital clock in the living room that displayed the day of the week, but that was as accurate an indication of the passing of time that the two of them would have.

Everyone had said how utterly romantic it sounded. Six weeks ago, during the party that CJ, Danny, Frank, and Diana had given to celebrate Paddy's and Maggie's First Communion, Danny described what he had arranged for the two of them.

It was indeed a little cottage like the one in "The Thornbirds", isolated on the shore of one of the still privately owned islands in the chain. There was a telephone by which the two of them could summon housekeeping, meals, or food supplies, but there would be no regularly scheduled visits from the resort staff. CJ and Danny would be expected to phone in to leave a message twice a day so the management would know that everything was okay, and there would be unobtrusive flyovers and boat patrols, but for all intents and purposes, the two of them would be alone.

"I'm envious!" exclaimed Timmy Jenkins' fiancée. Timmy laughed good-naturedly. The two of them had decided to take an Alaskan cruise next summer after their wedding, but he wondered if Sienna has having second thoughts about the destination.

"Indeed," Ken Robbins agreed. "But a trip like that, it seems more like something for a twenty-fifth." He and Laura would be doing a Pacific Island cruise later in the year for a belated silver anniversary observance.

"And if CJ and I had had the blessing to find each other and to marry when we were twenty-five or thirty, then perhaps that would have been my plan," Danny said. He was half-sitting, half-reclining on a chaise in the courtyard. CJ was sitting between his legs, her back against his chest. "But the love of my life," Danny reached down and lightly kissed CJ's shoulder, "and I got a late start. I don't want to wait another fifteen years before giving CJ the honeymoon she always wanted. Life is too short, too precious, too uncertain."

There was a shriek as a group of kids – Mei-Ling, Caitlin, Pammy, Manny, Dafna, and Will – came tearing from the pool area and family room, followed by Paddy and Maggie with the super-soakers Frank's brother Tonio had given the kids as a First Communion present. The hunted ran back outside; the hunters stopped by the door, laughed, and hugged each other.

"Well, those two, they may have their twenty-fifth before the two of you had your first," Frank commented. "Those pictures this morning, I think it wasn't the last time with your son in a suit and my little girl in a white dress."

CJ thought back to the morning's First Communion festivities. All the boys were in navy suits, with white shirts and ties. Even though she knew that within six months, she would be donating Paddy's pants and jacket to St. Monica's children's clothing exchange, CJ couldn't help but think that her son was the handsomest and sweetest little guy of the class. Maggie was in a simple white dress, sleeveless, mid-calf length, with embroidered white roses around the natural waist, the scoop neckline, and armholes. She wore an old lace mantilla pinned to her hair. Whereas the one that Nancy had worn four years ago when she and Jesse were married was full-length and was an heirloom of the Muñoz family, this one would have been just shoulder-length on an adult woman and belonged to Diana's family.

After the class picture and the individual pictures with Father Luke, they took pictures of Paddy and Maggie together. At one point, Danny posed Maggie sitting on a chair with Paddy kneeling beside her on one knee and CJ was struck by how wedding-like the tableau seemed. Maggie was barely eight, and Paddy was about a month shy of that, but looking at them, she just knew that someday - .

Now, on the third full day of her latest honeymoon, CJ blushed a little as she realized that since arriving and calling the kids (before Danny put their cell phones in the same safe beside the watches) that first evening, she really hadn't thought about them at all. She knew they were safe and happy, with Dario and Hayley down from Napa to house-, kid-, and dog-sit.

The cottage was quaint and modern at the same time. There was air-conditioning, but there were also ceiling fans in all the rooms, and the two of them lived and slept with the screened windows open. There was a complete kitchen, a dining table inside, and two tables on the wide veranda that ran all the way around the cottage, one outside the bedroom, one outside the living room. The little boat that deposited them at the site on the first evening also brought them dinner from the resort's kitchen, but the two of them had eaten from the well-stocked refrigerator since then. The first two mornings, Danny had brought her fruit and juice in bed. This morning, she had returned the favor. The bath was modern, with only a shower, but there was a hot tub on the veranda outside the bedroom. And there was always the ocean. She thought that perhaps it was time to send for housekeeping, for more supplies, and maybe for a light but romantic supper, all to arrive at sunset.

In addition to the electric lights, there were oil lamps and tiki torches, and a small grill for steaks, or any fish they might catch.

While doing research online, if she had done the math right, converting from Celsius to Fahrenheit, she had figured that the temperature range should have been about 65 to 72. They had packed for that, with Danny wishing aloud that they could have made the trip in December when the weather would be high summer. But when they arrived in Brisbane, they apparently brought a heat wave with them, and, again if she was doing the math right, the days were in the high 80's and the nights no lower than 79. Not that she was complaining.

The management of the resort supplied them with the sarongs and she and Danny had spent the time in them, his tied around his waist, hers sometimes tied like a toga, sometimes at her waist. She had seen neither bra nor panties since five minutes after the boat left that first night.

They slept, they swam. They walked the beach and built sand castles. There was a small collection of books, and a few movies to watch on the completely modern television. (Naturally, there was both a book and a DVD of "The Thornbirds".)

And they made love. In the room. On the veranda. In the hot tub. On the beach. In the water. Morning. Night. Noon. Mid-morning. Mid-afternoon. Midnight.

In fact, the last thing CJ remembered before waking a few minutes ago was riding her husband, their genitalia shielded by their garments, and climaxing so hard she saw stars. Their sex life had always been good, except for those few weeks right after Paddy was born, but it had morphed into "married with children" sex. **This** was honeymoon sex; excellent honeymoon sex.

"Can I at least ask how long I've been asleep?"

"Long enough for this," Danny growled, pulling off his wrap to reveal himself rampant and rock-hard. He untied CJ's sarong and kissed his way from neck to breastbone to stomach to the place that made her writhe with pleasure.

"On your stomach, beloved," Danny whispered, and, pushing one hand gently underneath and reaching for her core, he gently inserted himself inside her and covered her back with his body.

_Later _

CJ sipped from the glass of cognac, looked at the bottle on the table, and decided to add just a splash or two more to her glass. She had come to prefer the liqueur that Ashling had helped concoct for the MacDonald Distilleries, but Danny had neglected to procure a bottle for the trip.

The remains of the meal the two of them had finished about 40 minutes ago – a small rack of lamb, broiled tomatoes, lightly steamed spinach, a local Shiraz unavailable in the States, a sinfully decadent chocolate mousse – were beginning to draw flying critters, so she gathered up everything except the cognac and the snifters onto the tray left by the resort staff. CJ glanced toward the shore, making sure that Danny was still visible in the surf before taking everything inside.

When CJ came back outside, the moon had risen over the tree line, so she turned off the lights on the porch. Looking again to the beach, she saw Danny standing in the waters. He waved to her, inviting her to join him. Laughing, she shook her head from side to side (she still believed the old warnings against swimming too soon after a meal even if he didn't) and waved back.

As her husband resumed his exercise, she thought back to the previous Saturday, when they had renewed their marriage vows during the Vigil Mass. Father Luke had warned them beforehand, so they were ready when he asked them to speak personalized expressions of love to each other before the more formal pledges. At the altar, she had told Danny that, ten years ago, she thought she loved him completely, utterly, beyond all measure. But the love in her heart that day in Santa Barbara in 2007 was only a shadow of what was currently in her heart.

"There's an old Elvis song, from _Blue Hawaii_," she told him. "It goes 'I love you more today, more today than yesterday. But I love you less today, less than I will tomorrow.' That is what I know to be true, Daniel Michael Fabian Concannon."

In response, Danny told her that although he sometimes wished that she had been more open to his advances in 1999, he treasured every moment they would have together on this planet. He told her that he was, and would always be, the luckiest man on God's green earth.

So now, as she had done two or three times over the past ten years, CJ once again wondered about the life they would have led had she said "Okay" at the beginning of Jed Bartlet's administration. More children? Probably, had God ordained. They could have afforded them, even though their combined incomes would most likely have been less than what they were now making. Knowing Danny, he would have still been a successful writer and would probably have gone on to teaching, but she would not, in all likelihood, have been on Frank Hollis' radar he started looking for someone to be in charge of saving the world. Maybe she would have been considered for the Foundation's PR offices, but it wouldn't have paid what she had earned while working on the Hollywood publicity whirlwind. Not that she would have wanted to go back to that life.

Still, they could have managed. After all, look at the others on the block. She and Danny were easily the family with the most income, and even without her earnings from the foundation, they would have been no less than third. As a senior partner in a successful law firm, Ken Robbins made about three-fourths of what she and Danny pulled in together; Hank and Steve were in the same ballpark. But the others, well, most of them were probably in the one to two hundred thousand range. And the Jenkins twins were paying off med school loans.

The trips to Ireland would have been less frequent, and those trips, as well as the ones to Ginger and Rick's reunions on Cape May, would have been coach instead of first class. She might have bought a First Communion suit from the clothing exchange for a fast-sprouting Paddy as well as donating to it. And they probably would have put the money from Brianna's land into the kids' education funds rather than the place in Albion.

Eight more years with Danny, eight more years of his body in hers, around hers, over hers. Eight more years of his love, his unwavering support. No MS crisis with which to deal, no Shareef, no kidnapping, no San Andreo. No stalker, no dead Simon.

But, in the end, CJ knew that the experience of those intervening years had made both of them more complete persons, more appreciative of what they did have, more excruciatingly aware of how precious were their love and their lives together. In any event, what was done, was done. They were happy; they were deliriously happy.

Danny left the water. As he walked toward her, the moonlight played on his hair, on his naked body, on his face. It was a full moon and the silvery, shimmering colors reminded her of that Christmas after she had won the Nobel, when the lights of the tree mimicked the _aurora borealis_ they had not been able to see in Norway, that, so far, they had never seen. The time was right for the southern lights, the _aurora australis_, but the latitude wasn't. Danny had mentioned something about arranging to fly down to the Antarctic Circle to see them on this trip. Perhaps, perhaps not. Being able to afford such things was another benefit of the money they had as a result of the lives they did lead for the eight years between meeting and marriage.

She knew that she would love him more tomorrow, would love him more each of the tomorrows God would give them.

But her body shook with the realization of how much she loved him today. Her body shook with the realization of how much she loved him now.

As he collapsed in the chair beside her, she stood, knelt in front of him.

"I love you, Danny," she whispered.

And proceeded to show him with her mouth, her hands, and her hair exactly how much.

For now, for today.


	82. Hotel California

**Hotel California**

CJ/Danny, Josh/Donna, Toby/Andy, Carol/David, mentions of others

Rating Adult –

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

This has been a long time in development. Hopefully, future chapters will come a bit more frequently.

Hotel California by Don Felder, Don Henley and Glenn Frey.

**July 6, 2017; Santa Monica, CA; late afternoon;**

Danny walked into the kitchen and sighed.

CJ was bent over at the waist, taking some clean plates out of the dishwasher. Her hips, encased in a tight-fitting pair of light khaki cutoffs, called to him. He just knew that said hips wanted to be grasped, caressed, perhaps lightly patted once or twice, before being uncovered and then penetrated by the erection that was straining against *his* khakis.

Were they alone in the house, it would have had all the makings of a TV ad for an erectile dysfunction medication (not that Danny really had any issues with that, at least not yet).

Unfortunately, Danny had come into the kitchen to fetch four beers – Hank, Steve, and Radak were in the living room, waiting for him.

CJ stood up, turned around, and smiled at him. "Are you almost done? I'll go vacuum." She swallowed a huge yawn as soon as she finished speaking.

Danny took note of the tiredness in CJ's eyes and the droop in her shoulders. He leaned over and kissed the side of her jaw.

"Halfway. Radak's roommate messed up on the truck, and won't be here for another hour. We went ahead and shoved Hank and Steve's old thing to the side and we'll get our old one over there in a few. I want to be done by the time Carol and David get here. So we'll drink the beers and then move out the couch. I'll take care of the vacuuming, love. Why don't you go take a nap?"

"The kids - ".

"Won't be home for at least another hour and the guys can finish up without me if we're still moving," Danny answered.

"If you're sure?" CJ asked.

"Go!" With beers in both his hands, Danny gave CJ a helpful little push toward the bedroom wing with his hip and after watching her head through the family room, turned back toward the living room.

CJ had picked up some little intestinal parasite during their trip to Australia. It had taken a week or two to diagnose; Scott Winkler had sent the blood samples to a colleague at UC San Francisco after the local labs didn't find anything to explain her weakness and diarrhea. Apparently, it was something to which the local inhabitants had become tolerant over the centuries, but CJ's particular genetic makeup was a perfect host. Wondering why Danny didn't have the same reaction, Scott sent a second sample. It turned out the particular combination of minerals that Danny had to take because of his deficiency, combined with the binding agents, mimicked the "whatever", to use Scott's term, found in most Australians. "For all our advances, so much of medicine is a mystery, a crap shoot," the OB-GYN said, with a shrug and a laugh.

The unpleasant lower GI effects were lessening day by day, but CJ was still taking two or three naps a day. Thankfully, she hadn't pitched a fit when Danny called Frank Hollis and told him that CJ needed to put off any travel for the foundation until at least the end of September. However, she did put her foot down when Danny wanted to call their intended summer houseguests and ask them to either postpone their trips or make other arrangements.

"It's all family, or near-family, Danny. They'll make their own beds, help out with the cooking and such."

Having honed their discussion skills over ten years, the two of them finally agreed that a) Danny would make sure that their guests knew they were expected to pitch in and b) CJ would ask Narcisia for the names of reliable friends or relatives to help with the extra work at least 3 times a week.

Just as Danny handed the beers to the guys in the formal living room, the phone rang and Danny went across the foyer to his den.

The call was from Hogan.

"Hi, Uncle Danny. How's Aunt CJ?"

"Still tires a lot. She's napping now," Danny told the naval officer.

"Are you sure she'll be up for company at the end of the month?"

"Well, **she** is sure, that's what counts, apparently," Danny laughed in reply.

"Listen, could Jared and I possibly stay a bit beyond the 30th?"

"How much longer?" Danny asked. He held the phone against his ear with his shoulder as he started to type on his laptop, bringing up a spreadsheet.

"Until the 31st, instead of the 29th? The sub retrofitting is going to take two extra days, and I was able to extend my leave. If it's a problem - ", Hogan's voiced trailed off.

"You're in luck. Tim is coming in on August 1. Just let me change your booking."

The two of them talked for a few more minutes, then Hogan ended the call.

As Danny updated his spreadsheet of their summer visitors, he started singing to himself.

"Welcome to the Hotel California  
Such a lovely place  
Such a lovely face  
Plenty of room at the Hotel California".

He returned to the living room and joined the others.

CJ and Danny were replacing their living room sofa with a sleeper model; it would arrive tomorrow. Hank and Steve were buying CJ and Danny's old one; Hank said that reupholstering it would "be a snap". And Radak, who was starting grad school at UC San Diego in the fall, was buying Hank and Steve's old family room couch.

"Hey, Mr. Concannon, just out of curiosity, aren't you all usually in New Jersey this time of summer?" Radak asked.

"Yes, but this year, Rick and Ginger, the couple who have the big house party, didn't schedule one because the Bartlet daughters are going to have a big party for their parents when Jed and Abbey get back from their extended eighth or ninth honeymoon; it will be in late September. Their fiftieth was last month. Ginger said she didn't want those of us outside of the northeast to have deal with two coast-to-coast sets of airline tickets.

"And, Radak, you're an adult now, graduated from college and about to start on your Pharm. D.; I think you can drop the 'Mister'. Call me Danny." He looked around at the others.

"I'm Hank and he's Steve."

"Well, I'll try but 1) it'll be hard after so many years and 2) my mom will probably have a fit," the young man replied.

The four of them laughed and drank their beers. Then they maneuvered the Concannon's old couch out of the living room, out the front door, and into Hank and Steve's family room. By that time, Radak's roommates had arrived with the borrowed pickup, so the guys loaded the other sofa and the young men headed for I-5.

Danny returned to the house. In the living room, he picked up the collected detritus of several years – a fork, two old magazines, the first draft of a lecture he gave three years ago, two of Destiny's chew toys – and pulled out the vacuum.

Rick and Ginger may have been concerned for the travel budgets of the mid-west and west coast members of the Bartlet gang; it seemed that the east coast members of the group had independently decided that this would be the year to visit California and the Concannon household would be the recipient of their company. Therefore, CJ suggested that they replace the living room sofa with a high-quality sleeper for those times when one guest room wouldn't be enough. She had even suggested that they look into putting in a small bathroom – just a shower, commode, and sink off the wall that the living room shared with the garage; they could also put in a small closet with a dresser behind folding doors. It would give them a second guest suite.

Like most of CJ ideas, it was an excellent one. They used the formal living room maybe three or four times a year, but it was nice to have a room that was always neat and ready for those occasions when they did not want to expose their company to the rest of the house, either for lack of neatness or for general privacy. The only other suggestion that Danny had was that they upgrade to the best possible mattress for the sleeper. He had spent too many nights on a colleague's less than optimal couch.

So tomorrow morning, between 7:30 and 9:30 if the salesman was to be believed, their new couch would be delivered. Carol, David, Clarissa, and Sean were flying in tonight for a week and on Sunday, Mitch and Allison would be arriving. On the 12th, every would head north, the Palmers to San Luis Obispo and then to see Vic and Ellie in Palo Alto, while the rest of them would go to Napa for a Cregg sibling reunion, followed by a week at Albion for CJ, Danny, the kids, Mitch and Allison.

CJ and Danny would have to hurry home because Toby, Andy, the twins, and Alexis were arriving on the 23rd for a few days. The Ziegler's would leave on the morning of the 28th; by that evening, Erin and Robin would take their place in the guest room. Two weeks ago, Hogan had sent email. Jared's sub would be in San Diego from the 25th until the 29th (now 31st); she was able to get leave. Could they come visit?

"Of course," Danny had told her.

"If you're sure you don't want to be off by yourselves in some sort of honeymoon suite," CJ added.

"I think you need to computerize all this, Fishboy," CJ told her husband.

"Me?" Danny laughed, then ducked as CJ threw a pillow at him. "Why me?"

"Because it's *your* cousin who runs an inn. Speaking of which, they arrive on August 5th, right?"

"Unless their caretakers get sick," Danny answered. "And your roommate and her husband, what's his name? are coming on the 6th, if I recall correctly."

"Luke."

CJ also decreed that all guests would have to leave by the 10th. She wanted two weeks in Albion, just the four of them, plus Destiny, before everything started up in the fall.

So for the next month, they would be providing shelter, some food, and, inevitably, some entertainment to eight sets of houseguests.

**July 12; 8:30 AM**

"Bye, Rissa." Caitlin reached up to hug Carol and David's daughter. "Have a nice time in So-zay."

"You have a nice time in St. Helena," Clarissa answered. "Thank you for sharing your room with me."

Hugs and handshakes were exchanged between the adults as Carol, David, CJ, and Danny wished each other good trips and said they looked forward to the celebration in New Hampshire. As the Palmers drove off, Danny noticed a little tear on Caitlin's cheek.

"What's the matter, baby?" he asked his daughter, although he was sure he knew the answer.

"I liked having her here. Can I get an older sister like her for Christmas?"

Danny picked up the child as the other adults smothered laughs. "Sweetie, it doesn't work that way. Babies are born younger, and you can't put in an order for a boy or a girl. And God doesn't give a Mama and a Daddy a baby all the time just because they want one."

CJ and Danny's houseguest adventure had gotten off to a very good start. Carol, David, Clarissa, and Sean had arrived on schedule, having had no problem with the flight in, obtaining the rental car, and getting from LAX to Santa Monica. Clarissa was almost two years older than Caitlin, but the two little girls shared a love of Barbies that easily spanned the difference. Sean was over four years younger than Paddy, but Danny and CJ had spoken to their son about being a good host. And when the little boy became just a bit too much for the older one, there was always Li and Yan's Chi'an, who was the same age as Sean, and Nancy and Jesse's Ramon, who was only two years older. Carol and David had included Caitlin and Paddy on their trip to Knott's Berry Farm and two of their beach trips, which had given CJ some extra time to sleep (and some extra couple time for CJ and Danny one afternoon). Bonnie, Jean-Luc and their daughters had come down early Saturday. The four Bartlet families spent the afternoon together at the Concannon house, then the adults had gone to dinner at Casa Emilio's. The Fallières spent the night with Nancy and Jesse and had driven back to San Luis Obispo later Sunday afternoon.

As they waved to the departing car, Paddy began to jump up and down.

"When are we going to leave? I want to go ride Uncle Randy's horses, Daddy!"

"We have to wait for the contractor, son. I told you that earlier," Danny said evenly. They had arranged to have the bathroom and closet put in the newly designated living room/guest room while they would be in Napa and Albion. Mitch and Alison had been good sports about traipsing across the courtyard to use Paddy and Caitlin's bath ("At least you have the powder room on this side," Alison laughed. "Sometimes we old ladies need a commode ASAP."), but it would be better if the conveniences were more convenient. The contractor was supposed to have been here 35 minutes ago, and Danny was a bit annoyed. They were paying him very good money to get the work done in the next nine days; the least he could do was arrive on time.

CJ's mobile rang. Apparently, there was a gas tanker overturned on the 405. The contractor was inching along to the next exit, where he could make a detour, but it might be almost an hour.

"Look, Danny, why don't you, Alison, and the kids go along?" Mitch suggested. "CJ and I will follow as soon as possible. I'm good with maps, plus the car has GPS." They had decided that having CJ ride, alone, with Mitch, in the lush reclining seat of his rental Caddy, would give her a chance to rest without dealing with kids and a dog who sometimes got cranky, or carsick.

It was the best solution, so Danny got his charges into the SUV, kissed his wife, and with a "call Alison's phone when you leave", took off in the same direction as Carol, David, and kids had taken about 15 minutes earlier.

CJ and her brother went back into the house, sitting in the courtyard. Within a few minutes, CJ was softly snoring and Mitch had pulled out the latest copy of Golf Digest. About a half-hour later, the contractor drove up. Sending Mitch over to get Steve, who would be available to handle issues in person if necessary, CJ, Steve, and the contractor reviewed the plans one more time and exchanged phone numbers again. The crew was also on the way, the man assured CJ. They had stopped for some water and to fill the generator.

As Mitch drove out of the neighborhood in the direction of the freeway, CJ called Alison to let the others know they were on the way.

**Saint Helena, CA; 7:45 PM**

Danny picked up the journal he had brought out to the veranda, then decided he was not in the mood to read it. Destiny came up to his chair and put her head in his lap. He could hear Paddy and Caitlin giggling with Gina's mother over the antics of the two week old kittens on the far edge of the porch and sensed that the lab was a little miffed that the kids weren't paying any attention to **her**.

The sound of a horse whinnying caught his attention and he looked toward the barn. Mitch, Randy, and CJ were all on horseback and she blew a kiss toward her husband as the three siblings took off for a leisurely ride up to the far reaches of the vineyard.

Danny knew that CJ and her brothers were close, as close as he was with Erin, and knew that they wanted some time alone with each other. Gina and Alison were on the other side of the veranda, drinking wine and talking about their kids and grandkids. From the snatches of conversation he could hear, apparently Nelson and Palmer were giving their sister Hogan grief about not yet producing any babies to satisfy what the two boys perceived as Alison's "granny lust", but Alison told her sister-in-law that she wanted more grandkids if and only if Hogan and Jared were ready. And with both of them in high-pressure navy jobs, Alison didn't think they were.

It had been a relatively uneventful drive up the state. Without the kids, Destiny, and the extra pit stops the three of them required, Mitch and CJ arrived only a few minutes after the others. Paddy had been disappointed that supper was barbecued chicken and not something Italian, but Gina's mom Bianca explained that tomorrow, when the whole family would be together, there would be many, many Italian dishes.

It was peaceful here, Danny thought. Of course, it would be peaceful in a few days when they went to Albion, but there was something about the valley, and the vineyards, that exuded a quiet spirituality he found very restful. The forests of Albion gave him a sense of God's grandeur, the mountains and the ocean of God's might. But here, it was God's providence that he felt.

**July 22; San Francisco International Airport; noon**

"Travel safe. And drive safe. Stay at the airport hotel if you are too tired."

CJ, Danny and the kids exchanged hugs and kisses with Mitch and Alison. Their plane would be leaving for Dulles in about 90 minutes and it would be almost 10:00 PM eastern by the time they landed, assuming everything was on time. Allowing a half-hour for the luggage and an hour to drive to Harper's Ferry, it made for a long day, especially since they had already been on the road for almost four hours.

"Hey, you're the little sister," Mitch whined. "You can't tell me what to do."

Everyone laughed. It was a long-standing joke between the two of them.

"Enjoy your time with the others," Alison told them. "And kiss my daughter and son-in-law for me."

Seven hours and two stops later, Danny pulled into the drive, opened the garage door with the remote, and drove into the structure, nearly not stopping in time to avoid the extended wall that indicated that the new bath and closet were in place. Cautiously, he stopped the car and carried Caitlin into the courtyard while Paddy took Destiny to the yard and CJ eased out of the front passenger seat. Only when everyone was out of the vehicle did he shut the garage door. Two months ago, there had been a horrible tragedy three blocks south. The driver shut the garage door and then forgot to shut off the engine. The family was found dead from carbon monoxide the next morning.

Danny walked into the courtyard then over to the living room. The bath and closet were indeed finished, and were as CJ and the contractor had designed. Hank and Steve had put hangers in the closet and had put the coordinated towels that CJ had bought in the bath. Inside the closet, the pillows, sheets, and blankets for the sleeper were ready for Hogan and her husband.

Danny wandered into first the kitchen, then the family room, then the bedrooms. Where was CJ? He called her name and heard her voice coming from the guest suite in the northeast corner of the house. He entered, and then stopped short.

"What are you doing?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm making the bed for Toby and Andy." CJ didn't bother to lookup.

"Narcisia is coming tomorrow morning; she can do that. Or I'll do it. You. Go. Lie. Down. Now."

"The kids."

"Caitlin is sleeping and Paddy can take care of himself. Or I'll order a pizza. Bed," Danny gently ordered.

"I'd prefer hot tub."

"Then do that, wife."

**July 23; 7:15 PM**

"Now, remember, if anything, **anything**, goes wrong, you call one of the neighbors and then call us," Toby Ziegler stressed.

"Dad, we'll be - ".

"Tobus, stop worrying!" CJ exclaimed. "Huck and Mollie will do just fine! Let's go; I'm hungry. Andy, we're ready."

CJ hugged and kissed her children, telling them to listen to Huck and Molly while Danny handed the Ziegler twins some cash "for pizza and the ice cream truck, if it comes".

Andy came out of the bedroom wing, where she had been reading to Alexis. "Now, remember, kids, if anything - ".

"Mom, we know," Molly sighed. "Dad only told us three or four times. I mean, babysitting isn't exactly rocket science."

"It's much more important than mere rocket science, Molly Ziegler," her mother replied.

"I'm leaving in thirty seconds," Danny said, walking across the courtyard to the door into the garage. "With or without passengers."

The other adults followed him out the door and piled into the Mustang convertible. As the two couples drove the short distance to the pier and the restaurant where they would be dining, Danny reassured the worried parents.

"Hank or Steve will be keeping an eye and an ear open for any issues. Not that I expect any. Don't you trust your kids?"

"Yes, I trust them," Toby answered. "But if I'm having a problem with the time change, I'm afraid they might also. What good is a babysitter who falls asleep while his or her charges are still awake?"

"I thought studies showed that a teen's body naturally wants to stay up late and then sleep in late," CJ responded.

By that time, they had reached the pier. Danny found parking and the four of them walked to the restaurant.

Toby bypassed his usual scotch, saying that he was too jetlagged to handle it, so the four of them settled on one of Randy and Gina's champagnes. Looking over the menu, they decided to share several of the first courses – oysters, steamed shrimp, clams – while they made up their minds about the rest of the meal.

The conversation varied. For a while, all four of them talked about Sam's coming presidential bid. Right now, there were about six other contenders for Democratic nominee, but only two of them – the governor of Massachusetts and a senator from Wisconsin – had any real name recognition. Andy told them that everyone who was anyone in party leadership had high hopes for Sam taking the slot and denying Haffley a second term.

Then Danny and Toby got into a "politics of academia" discussion that quickly became way too much shop talk to hold CJ or Andy's interest, so the two women talked about their children. Andy told CJ that the twins were growing into their own selves while still retaining the special connection that must have come from sharing the warmth and darkness of the womb for nine months. For example, while Molly had taken to Judaism wholeheartedly and had shone at her bat mitzvah, Huck had decided to be confirmed Episcopalian. But no one (except maybe Toby) was prouder of Molly when she read from the Torah than her brother, and Molly planned the party for Huck with the utmost zeal.

"They are already talking about college, about going to the same place and sharing an apartment. I wouldn't mind that when they were juniors or seniors, but I really want them in the dorms for at least a year," Andy said. "When I say that, they tell me that they can be just as wild and crazy in a dorm as in an apartment. I tell them I know that, and I don't expect the dorm to be a nunnery, or seminary, but that it's getting used to being with a whole bunch of people, many of whom are not like yourselves, learning how to get along, to compromise. CJ? Are you okay?"

"Oh, yes," CJ said, suddenly smiling. She didn't want to tell Andy that she had been thinking about her twins, wondering what the boys would be like, at nine. She thought fast. "I was just remembering my days at Berkeley, and how much fun the dorm was. Anyway, you have four years before anything comes of it. A lot can happen in four years. By that time, one or both of them may be madly in love and you'll be worrying about them going to a school because Madison or Ethan is going to that university."

By 9:30, it was obvious to Danny that both Andy and Toby were on their last legs and that even with two naps, CJ was also getting tired. When asked about dessert, Danny asked if he could get a whole cheesecake to go, paid the bill, and guided his party to the convertible. It was a beautiful summer night and would have been perfect for a drive along the coast, but Danny knew he would have been the only one enjoying it, so he headed up the hill and home.

Walking across the courtyard to the family room, Danny could see Huck sitting on the couch. Entering the room, he saw that the boy was reading. Caitlin was curled up next to him, under a light blanket, her head resting on his left thigh. Huck's left arm was draped across her shoulders.

Huck looked up and saw the question in Danny's eyes.

"She was having a nightmare. Molly tried to calm her down, but I was concerned she might wake up Alexis. And Molly was dead tired, so I brought her out here with me. After about a quarter hour, she quieted and fell asleep. I was afraid to move her. I think she's fine now."

Danny looked away as CJ tripped over a toy on the floor and didn't see either the way Huck's eyes grew grey, old, and hungry or the way Huck's hand gently caressed Caitlin's corkscrew curls.

The next morning, Danny woke to the murmur of voices coming in through the window that opened to the deck and the pool area.

"Yes, Toby, I am still happy, still content. I thank God every day for Danny."

Danny exhaled slowly. He knew it, of course. Through her actions, through her words, and most of all, through her body, CJ had been telling him the same thing for ten years. But it was good to hear her tell someone else; it was especially good to hear her tell Toby. Would he ever be able to totally relax about CJ's relationship with Toby, Danny asked himself.

"But I don't have to ask you, Toby, about yourself. You can't help but exude your inner peace, your contentment with life. Somehow, you and Andy managed to find each other again. You manage to make New York and Maryland/DC work for the five of you. How do you do it?"

"I don't know, CJ. I am just so grateful that it does."

And Danny smiled to himself. He just might be able to let down that last little guard after all.

The smell of their coffee reached his nose. Danny decided to get up, go to the bathroom, and join the two of them. For the first time, he would not feel he was intruding.

**July 26; somewhere between Santa Monica and Anaheim; 8:30 AM**

"Daddy, I don't understand. Why didn't we wait for Hogan and Jared to wake up and come with us? I bet they would have really wanted to go to Disneyland too instead of staying in bed," Paddy said, for the third time since they left the house. "Mama, why are you and Miss Andy laughing?"

Danny looked across to CJ, who tried to stop her giggling. "Sorry," she mouthed to Danny. In the rear view mirror, Danny would see that both Huck and Molly were blushing and that Toby had his hand in front of his mouth.

It had been apparent yesterday afternoon, when Hogan and her husband arrived at the house, that Jared had not been told that there would be other company at Hogan's favorite aunt's home. Danny could see the submariner's head trying to figure out a graceful way to leave for a hotel. When Danny mentioned that all of them, Concannon and Ziegler, toddler, child, teen and adult, would be out of the house all day come morning, the man's shoulders relaxed considerably.

Danny just hoped that having to let Destiny out two or three times wouldn't cramp the young couples' plans too much.

**July 28; mid-morning**

CJ and Danny watched Toby drive off; the Ziegler's were heading to San Luis Obispo for a few days with Bonnie and Jean-Luc before heading back east.

"Hurray! I get my room back!" Paddy exclaimed.

"You don't like Huck? Or Sean? CJ asked her son.

"Yes, Mama, I like them fine. It's just nice to have my own room. And, it wouldn't have been polite to say anything, but Sean farted all the time, and Huck snores."

"Huck does not snore!" Caitlin said. "You take that back!"

CJ and Danny smiled at each other. It had been obvious over the past five days that Caitlin had a big crush on Toby and Andy's son. It wasn't that surprising. What was surprising was the way Huck seemed to tolerate the little girl always wanting to be with him, to sit next to him on the rides at Disneyland, or when they went out to eat. Huck showed great maturity for a fourteen year-old.

"Well, out with the Ziegler's, in with the Lyman's," CJ said.

"Not until the 30th. By the way, Alex and Luke called last night; the twins are sick and they have to cancel. Is it okay if I go into the office for a few hours? I need to check campus mail," Danny asked. "I can take the kids with me if you want."

"Take Caitlin, but I think Paddy wants to catch up with Maggie. He took his duties as host seriously these past weeks."

**July 30; early evening**

"Here you go."

Danny handed one of the bottles of beer to Josh and sat next to him.

"Joannie, for the last time, stop splashing!" Josh shouted at his daughter. "You know, daughter mine, maybe you need to go to bed. After all, it **is** past your bedtime, east coast time."

"No, Daddy, I'll stop," the little replica of Donna said, smiling at him. "Ple-ea-eas-se?"

"She's got you wrapped around her finger, Josh," Danny laughed.

"Oh? And you're the strict martinet with Caitlin?" came the rejoinder.

"Firm but fair, Joshua, firm but fair."

The sun dipped lower in the sky and Danny reflected that the days were getting a bit shorter. There was still a lot of summer left, all of August. Of course, it would still be warm in September, but Paddy would be back in school and Caitlin would be in preschool. And he would be starting the new academic year, full of promise but also full of the politics of academia which he had come to tolerate. It was a hell of a lot better than writing the kind of stuff that had driven him out of reporting, a hell of a lot better than following God knows how many candidates during the primaries and the generals.

Except maybe next year. Sam. Danny wondered if he would want to get involved, maybe as an advisor to the campaign. One thing Danny knew, he could not be a reporter for a paper or a magazine. Maybe it was because he was so vested in the idea of Sam as president that he wouldn't be able to be unbiased. Maybe it was because he was afraid that he could too easily be unbiased, and he remembered the hurt and pain his integrity caused for his friends, and for his beloved, during the Bartlet years.

Over steaks at dinner, while Josh and Donna had talked about the plans for the campaign, who was coming back and who was sitting out, Danny had watched CJ's face. His wife showed comprehension, made a few suggestions, but not once did he see any yearning, any sense of wanting to join with the others on the campaign trail. Danny figured that he and CJ knew their niche and would be happy, not exactly on the sidelines, but not in the front of the pack either.

"So, we're the last two standing?" Danny said. "Except for the kids?"

Donna had gone to bed soon after the meal, complaining of a headache. Tim, his old roommate from Notre Dame, was also in bed, having been on the itinerary from hell all day. Apparently, the travel office at Georgetown had decided that saving $125.00 in air fare was well worth making Tim fly from Baltimore instead of National or Dulles, and changing planes in Atlanta rather than a non-stop or one-stop flight. And, of course, there was bad weather in Atlanta, resulting in Tim arriving four hours late.

"Yeah," Josh answered. Then he glanced through the family room to the courtyard. "Well, no."

Danny followed Josh's glance.

CJ and Paul were sitting in the courtyard, deep in conversation.

As he had several times over the course of the last six or seven years, Danny reflected on the difference of his feelings about CJ's relationships with Paul and with Toby. Common sense would dictate that Danny would be more wary of the relationship with the man who had been a sexual partner, the first sexual partner, than he would of the man who had been an extremely close but non-intimate friend. Of course, Toby was once again with his soul mate and Paul had found love again with Clara.

Paul threw his head back and Danny could hear the faint laugh coming through two sets of glass doors. Then Paul grabbed CJ in a quick bear hug.

Paul was in LA for the same conference Tim was attending; he and Clara were staying with the Feldman's this trip. Tomorrow night, Joel and Hannah would be hosting a block party.

Remembering the other plans for tomorrow, Danny called for the kids to get out of the pool and get ready for bed.

"We'll all be leaving for Disneyland bright and early," he told the six of them when Paddy started to grumble just a bit. Six kids and four adults. Pretty even odds, Danny figured.

As the kids, Danny, and Josh came into the house, CJ looked up.

"I better go make sure everyone is settled, especially the four guys," CJ said.

Danny gently pushed down on her shoulder.

"I'll handle it, love," he said, kissing the top of her head. "You catch up with Paul."

And nodding at the minister, Danny followed the group heading to Caitlin's and Paddy's rooms.

**The next evening; home of Hannah and Joel Feldman**

"Are you going to eat that chicken wing?" Tim asked Danny.

"Go ahead; when we want more, I'll just ask Paddy to fetch them."

"The advantages of not being a member of the cloth," Tim laughed. "At least a member of the cloth who has taken a vow of celibacy."

"Still no regrets, Timmy?" Danny asked his friend.

"Not really. Of course, it helps to be part of the order. We tend to live together, provide a companionship that many of the diocesan priests don't get nowadays, since very few parishes have more than one assigned. Of course, even having fellow priests, is not the same as having a wife, a partner. And I don't mean the obvious physical intimacy. You ask Paul, you ask Clara's son, you ask Hannah's brother the rabbi, a cleric's spouse is a true blessing, a sounding board. In one very real sense, a cleric's spouse is his or her special sacrament, a special reflection of the love of God for the dedication, the service."

Danny looked over to the other side of the deck, where CJ was with Diana, Clara, Donna, and Jessica. In an alternate universe, CJ would have been a very good wife to Paul in his ministry. Danny knew this because even though he himself was not a "man of the cloth", CJ was his true blessing, his sounding board. CJ was his sacrament.

**August 5; early evening**

Once again, Danny was cleaning the grill after doing steaks, this time for Erin and Robin. They had finally arrived, having delayed their trip because "something came up". Luckily, with Robin still working for Aer Lingus, they didn't have to deal with non-refundable fares.

Yesterday, Tim had gone back to DC, again going through Atlanta; Josh, Donna, and their brood had headed up to Sacramento and the Seaborn's. Siobhan and Liam would arrive late tomorrow night. Heading into the home stretch, Danny said to himself.

"Not now, please, Robin."

Erin's voice carried across the courtyard. She put a hand on her husband's shoulder, then walked through the family room to the deck, where she went to the far edge and stared out at the ocean.

Robin caught Danny's stare, hesitated, then walked over to Danny, stopping by a table to pour two healthy shots of the clan whiskey.

Danny took the offered glass, gestured toward a chair, and sat down in one at a right angle to the one Robin took. The two men sipped their drinks. They were alone in the courtyard. Paddy was in the family room, engrossed in the new video game that the MacDonald's had given him; CJ was with Caitlin, who had a "tummy ache".

Danny had sensed that something was a little "off" when he picked up the two of them at LAX, but thought it might be jet lag – it was an eight hour time difference after all. But apparently, it was more than that.

"Danny, she'll be madder than hell at me, but you need to know. Her last mammogram and ultrasound, last week, they found an 'anomaly', the word the radiologist used. They gave her the choice of repeating the test in six months, or doing something called a stereotactic biopsy now. She wants to wait, I can't see her, or me, dreading this for six months."

Danny finished the rest of his drink and got up.

"Leave it to me," he said firmly, walking to the deck.

One look at Danny's face told Erin everything she needed to know.

"Damn him! He had no right."

"He had every right, Erin. You know what CJ and I went through," Danny answered. "You're going to listen to your brother."

"Look here, little brother," Erin started.

"Younger, yes, littler, no," Danny said.

Just like most women, Erin was no match for that smile of Danny's, the look that said, you know I'm right, but I'm not going to rub it in."

"It's just that Ash doesn't see anything, and I'm afraid to ask Sorcha."

"So have the test."

**The next morning; just before dawn**

Danny stirred to the feel of CJ wriggling her butt against his groin. He smiled to himself as his body slowly woke to her actions in keeping with his consciousness.

He and Erin had ended up talking until almost midnight and CJ had been dead to the world when he finally got to bed.

With the practice of ten years, Danny responded to CJ's overtures with warm, wet kisses on her neck while his fingers found the warm, wet center between her legs.

Normally, he would wait for her to signal, by shifting her upper leg, by turning onto her stomach, or by turning onto her back, if she wanted to spoon, to "crab", or to be face to face. But this morning, Danny gently pushed on her upper shoulder, pulling her back toward him, settling her onto her back. He needed to love her face to face.

Settling himself between her legs, he entered her to his hilt. But rather than beginning the in and out, up and down movements that a decade had told him would give her completion, he remained still. Beginning with her eyes, he kissed every inch of her face, gently, delicately, barely touching her.

The conversation with Robin, and then with Erin, had brought old memories, old fears, to him. And not just of her scare eight years ago, but also of what happened when Caitlin was born, and the super-resistant viral bug from three years ago.

Not to mention what she had picked up in June.

"Danny?" CJ asked.

"I just love you so much, Claudia Jean Cregg Concannon. I just love you so much."

**August 10; LAX; mid-morning**

"Don't worry about us, Danny," Liam said. "We're grownups; we can handle a delay."

"If you're sure."

"We are. Go."

With that, Liam and Siobhan headed to security, past the sign that said "Ticketed passengers only beyond this point."

However, Danny stayed to make sure the two of them had no issues with the TSA agents. Then he headed back to sort-term parking and headed for the exit.

The closer he got to Santa Monica, the happier Danny became. As soon as he got home, he would load up the few remaining things, and the four of them, five, he corrected himself, counting Destiny, would head up for Albion.

Danny loved his friends and his relatives and he had enjoyed having them as guests, had enjoyed playing host to them. But now, it was time to be with his wife and his children, his nuclear family, for one last special time before school and all that it would bring.

Hotel California, or at least the Concannon location of same, was now closed for the season.


	83. Mr October

**Mr. October**

CJ/Danny

Rating Adult –

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

**Friday September 15, 2017: Santa Monica, CA; 3:45 PDT**

"Mama, what's pilf?"

"Pilf? I don't know, honey. Steve, would you make sure that the kids have their harnesses on right?" CJ smiled at the reflection of Frank and Diana's older son in the rear-view mirror as she carefully maneuvered the SUV out of the pickup line in front of St. Monica's elementary where she had picked up Paddy, Mike, and Maggie after getting Steve at the high school.. The school year was still young and some of the new parents didn't have the drop off/pick up procedures down pat as yet. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, we have two student teachers this year. And when we introduced ourselves, Miss Amber asked me if Daddy was my father. When I said 'yes', she turned to Miss Petra and said 'his father is one of the pilfs.' That's why."

"Maybe it's like a milf."

Now *that* whispered comment managed to get CJ's attention away from the traffic jam in front of the kids' school. 'Milf' was a term she knew, had heard applied to herself. Not that it would be easier to explain that term to her eight year-old son.

"Mike! For God's sake! Sorry, Aunt CJ."

This time, CJ saw Steve's face turn bright red as he tried to shut up his younger brother. She hurriedly glanced over to her son. He and Maggie were engrossed in a video game and thankfully had missed the exchange between the older boys.

"Paddy, you can ask your Daddy later," Maggie helpfully volunteered. "He knows all the words, right?"

Hopefully, she would have a chance to warn Danny before Paddy descended on him. And to half-tease, half-ask him about what was going on. Right now, she had to pick up Caitlin at preschool and get home fast. It was their turn to host the monthly Friday night gathering for the block. The events were always very casual – alcohol, soft drinks, and meat provided by the host with the others bringing snacks, sides, and desserts – and Narcisia had been there earlier in the day to help with the cleaning, but there were a few last-minute details to check out.

**A few hours later**

"So when is Danny getting here?" Billy Rogers asked CJ.

"Yes, when?" Ken Robbins echoed, after putting his arm around Laura and kissing the side of her head. "By the way," he continued, "does this woman really look like she'll be a grandmother in six months?"

"I'm not sure," CJ answered. "About Danny, I mean. Laura and you definitely don't look old enough to be grandparents, the first on the block."

"Well, Clara and Cosmo, of course, but they were a different generation," Diana added.

"Well, let us know if you hear from Danny, okay?" Billy said as he and Ken walked off to join Steve, Joel, and Wally on the other side of the courtyard.

"What was that all about?" Diana asked.

"I have no idea," Laura answered.

CJ didn't have any details, but something was definitely afoot with the men. She took in the furtive looks that the group over by the hot tub was casting her way. The whole scene reminded her of the times when Josh, Sam, and sometimes Toby would let their inner twelve year-olds take over their more adult minds. She smiled, recollecting that Thanksgiving week with Morton Horn and his charges, Eric and Troy. It had been less amusing at the time, but then she had also been down about Danny not taking the editorial job. Everything worked out in the end, but at the time, she had despaired of ever having the kind of life with Danny that she was living now.

"Here. Try this, ladies," Hank said, handing them each a rosy pink cocktail.

CJ took a sip and smiled. "Very good. Let's see, grapefruit juice, probably vodka, maybe some grenadine."

"And something else, something that smoothes out the taste," Diana contributed.

"Pomegranate, not grenadine. And just a bit of champagne," Hank replied.

"Well, it's good," CJ said as the other women nodded in agreement. "Excuse me, it's Danny."

"Sorry, babe. This new president doesn't have any idea about an academic culture. Who in his right mind schedules a meeting for 3:00 PM on a Friday afternoon? Anyway, I'm on my way. Get one of the guys to start the grill, would you?"

"I think I'm capable of starting a grill. It's just a stove on the outside, Fishboy," CJ said with a slightly exasperated sigh. "What was the meeting about? What was so all-fired important?"

"Let's talk about it tonight, okay? About the grill, I'm sor- ". With that, Danny's phone cut out.

CJ sighed, put away her mobile, and walked over to the grill. Of course, as soon as she started to turn it on, Li and Wally hurried over to her side and insisted on taking over the chore, so CJ picked up her drink and decided to go out to the pool area where most of the kids were playing.

Becky Feldman, who was just starting work on an MSW at UCLA, was watching the kids, along with Steve Muñoz and Heather Jenkins. The two teenagers asked if it would be okay if they went in the water for a while and CJ told them to have at it.

"So, when do you move into the apartment again, Becky?" CJ asked.

"Well, TerriLynn, that's the girl that's getting married, is moving out next weekend, so any time after that." Becky paused, looked around, and then turned back to CJ. "Could I ask you for some advice, something personal?" she said with a lowered voice.

"Of course, honey. What is it?"

"You and Reverend Reeves, you dated each other for almost two years, back in the 80's right? You two were, ah, close? If it's not too personal?"

CJ knew that all the adults were aware of the history and had made assumptions; it was only natural that the older kids, the young adults, CJ corrected herself, would have the same knowledge and come to the same conclusions.

"Yes; he was my first real love, other than one extreme crush in senior high."

"After, was there ever a time when you really, really dug a guy and you told him about being with Reverend Reeves, and the guy stopped seeing you, stopped calling you because you had been with a black man?" Becky asked, blushing slightly.

It gave CJ pause. Ben had known all about Paul, as had Toby (not that she and Toby had ever been intimate). The idea of Danny having any issue with it was too ludicrous to even consider. Things never had a chance to get that far with Simon, but she was pretty sure that the agent would not have harbored any latent bigotry had he known. If she was brutally honest with herself, Marco might have had a problem, but then, if she were being that honest, he was really just a one-night stand. Thinking back, there *had* been one guy, her first year of grad school, who stopped calling after a while, but at the time, she and Ben had been in one of their good places, and she hadn't really given it another thought. And, honestly, after that, there really hadn't been anyone other than Ben, Simon, and, of course, Danny, whom she ever seriously considered as potential husbands.

"Exactly why are you asking, Becky? Do you think it would be an issue with your family if you were with someone who happened to be black?"

"Well, I think my folks would rather I find a nice Jewish boy," Becky answered, "but I'm sure they would accept any guy, or even a girl, if I were wired that way.

"There is this guy I've been having lunch and coffee with, plus a concert or two, and we're both feeling the vibe. I really would like to go to bed with him, but, right now, I can't imagine marrying him. And I'm worried that when I do find the right guy, he might not accept it if I did hook up with Chad."

"Well, as far as I'm concerned, any man who would have a racial issue with your past is not worthy of your love, Becky," CJ told the young woman. "But, I think you also need to weigh your feelings for, Chad?, Chad. For one thing, going to bed with him just because he *is* black would be just as bad as *not* going to bed with him just because he is black. You have to want to be with him for himself. Of course, his race, his religion, or lack thereof, and everything else is part of what makes him who and what he is. So I guess my advice to you is to be completely truthful with yourself about what you feel, what you want, and why you want it."

CJ decided that since Becky didn't bring up any question about sleeping with someone you were pretty sure you had no future, it was not her place to impart any wisdom gained from the years elapsed since her own university days some thirty-five years ago. Assuming that the couple used birth control and STD protection, it was none of her business. And whatever Becky thought about marrying outside her religion right now, such things were subject to change. Look at Toby. As a young man, he had always assumed that he would marry a Jewish woman, and now he had married, divorced, and remarried one Andrea Wyatt, Episcopalian WASP.

Seeing that Heather and Steve had climbed out of the pool again and were walking toward Becky and herself, CJ excused herself, saying she had to get the meat out of the refrigerator.

Of course, once she got into the courtyard, the guys (Billy and Frank this time) instantly took the plates from her and began the task of preparing the main course. Rather than arguing with them, CJ grabbed another drink and joined Nancy, Yan, and Jessica.

The door from the garage into the courtyard opened.

"All hail, Mr. October!" the men shouted as Danny entered the area.

Danny blushed as red as the stripes in his shirt. The men responded with catcalls.

"Mr. October? What's going on?" CJ asked Danny as the two of them quickly embraced.

"It's a long story," Danny sighed. "One that the guys know way too much about."

"One of the girls' groups at USC," Ken started, laughing.

"Women's groups," Steve corrected. "The Sybarites."

"The ones that did the male nudie academic calendar last year as a fund-raiser for their charities," Billy continued. "And some of the guys got in trouble with the NCAA for posing, even though they weren't paid."

"So this year, they photo-shopped the heads of various professors on the bodies, so the guys who posed wouldn't be hassled. The calendar just came out today. Here it is," Ken finished, holding out the object of discussion. "Some of the girls have started calling it the 'PILF Calendar', for 'Professors I'd Like to - ' ".

"We understand, Ken," Laura said, putting her hand over her husband's mouth. "Honestly, I think that the idea of being a grandfather is causing you to revert to prepubescent idiocy."

The calendar ran from August through July. On the first page was the face of an African-American man identified as a biology professor standing behind a carefully placed microscope. On the second page, a blue-eyed blonde man with a globe at just the right angle represented Geology.

And on the third page, Danny Concannon's face was attached to the body of a young man lying on his side on a desk, a group of Pulitzer Prizes piled up against his groin.

CJ studied the calendar shot. The person who did the photo-shopping had done a very good job. The skin tone matched perfectly. The body was slightly aged, a well-toned man maybe in his early thirties rather than one of nineteen or twenty. The face reminded CJ of the man she married back in '07; the hair was tinged the way it was that winter right before Zoey was kidnapped.

"Is this what the meeting was about? The new president wants to micromanage, to get involved in something like this?" CJ asked Danny.

"No, it was something else. Later, okay, babe? However, the calendar did come up during the course of the meeting. Most everyone was okay with it, although Zeke Cohen thought he should have had dreidels and menorahs hiding his junk instead of a Santa Claus hat," Danny turned the calendar to December. "Jamil Khaldi said that they would need a much bigger heart if it had been his body, and not just his face, for Mr. February. The only one to really object was Dudley Halbert, in Theatre Arts. He didn't like the idea of fur being used on a body purporting to be his." As the group looked at Mr. March, with a long stole strategically draped from left shoulder to right knee, Hank laughed. "Well, Dudley always was such a drama queen, you should excuse the expression."

"I heard that some of the faculty were a bit jealous, that they weren't chosen," Joel Feldman said. "The women in the Treasurer's office said that staff should have been considered as well; that there are stud muffins outside the teaching corps. And, of course, some of the more strident women criticized the reverse sexism of it, said they would be upset if it were their husbands' faces on those bodies."

"Well, I guess these Sybarites are women of taste and recognize quality when they see it, or imagine they see it, as least as far as Mr. October is concerned," CJ said.

Then the other women grabbed hold of the calendar and added their own observations, teasing Danny about what they saw on the desk versus what they had seen at the block's pools over the past few summers.

"This Mr. November, the one doing a semi-sit-up, I kinda wish he'd done it military-style instead of from the waist only," Diana chuckled. "I bet he has a really nice package, almost as nice as Frank's!"

"Querida!" her husband said, blushing.

"And this guy for June, lying on his stomach with his legs up, has the cutest little tush," Nancy announced.

Luckily for the embarrassed men, the sudden appearance of the kids who smelled the cooking hotdogs and sausages, caused the subject to be tabled.

"You're okay with it, Ceej?" Danny quietly asked CJ.

"Of course. But just to warn you, Paddy's student teachers are from USC and I think you're going to have to explain what 'pilf' means."

**10:00 PM**

CJ crept into Caitlin's room just as Danny was finishing "Jack and the Beanstalk". The little girl's eyes were almost closed, but she managed a sleepy "Night, Mama" when CJ bent down to kiss the child. CJ and Danny walked down the hall to Paddy's room. Their son was already asleep, his arm draped around Destiny, who had snuggled up against him as if the two of them were an old married couple.

Their neighbors had left about thirty minutes ago, after helping with the cleanup and putting away of food.

Danny poured two glasses of Aisling's cordial and, handing one to CJ led her into their bedroom.

"Stu Burton's wife has breast cancer," Danny said.

"Oh, no!" CJ cried, sitting down on the bed beside her husband. "Is she going to have surgery, or just treatment?"

"The thing is, what they found is something that had metastasized from her liver and has spread to her stomach. They really can't do much of anything now."

Danny pulled CJ against his chest and the two of them just sat there for a moment, sorrowing for their friends, remembering what had happened with the two of them six years ago and how lucky they had been.

"Anyway, Stu is taking an indefinite leave of absence, for as long as Sylvia is still here. Which means that the English Department chair is vacant."

"And they want you." CJ stated. "The new president wants you to take over the job."

"Him, the Dean of Letters, Arts, and Sciences, Stu himself. They even asked the Dean of Annenberg."

"And you? What do you want, Danny?" CJ asked.

"I don't know. I've always said that all the bureaucracy gets in the way of teaching, of inspiring the students. But then, I think that if I'm always complaining, then if I have the chance to change things, if I don't try, I'm being a bit of a hypocrite."

"Work from the inside, the way grownups do," CJ said softly, remembering what Amy Gardner had told her about the conversation she had with Matt Santos during Leo's wake.

"It would mean more time on campus," Danny said. "And with you doing more work and more travel for Frank and Sarita, I don't know if I should take more time away from the kids."

"The kids will adjust. Paddy's in third grade; by all rights, Caitlin should be in kindergarten, she's almost five. Lots of kids go into daycare after school, or a nanny," CJ answered.

"I know; but we wanted ours of have us, not a nanny. I'm not sure I'd want a nanny in the house. Nannies freak me out, ever since Doug Weston."

"I have complete faith in you, Daniel. And besides, any nanny I hire will not be young, blonde, and Swedish, if that would make you feel any better. Or I could always cut back on my work for Hollis."

"No!" Danny said emphatically. "I know you enjoyed being a stay at home mother for a while, but I also know that it wasn't a long-term fit for you."

"When do you have to give an answer? Do we have some time?" CJ asked.

"Tuesday," came the answer.

"Well, then we have plenty of time to talk. That's what we've done, ever since that night over ten years ago, right?"

CJ was already planning ahead. She'd get Diana to take the kids tomorrow. It had been a while since she and Danny had had time to themselves. It had been a while since they had made love in the middle of the day. They would talk, make love, figure out how they would make it work, the way Danny told her it would be that cold wintry January night.

CJ stood up and bent down to kiss Danny's face.

"I'll be right back. In the meantime, get yourself naked."

CJ walked out of the room and crossed the courtyard toward the den.

When she came back, she saw that Danny had obeyed her and was obviously anticipating what he thought she wanted.

Danny looked at her with a question in his eyes. "What?"

"All those coeds, all those other women, I don't care if they see your face attached to some football linebacker's or soccer midfielder's body. But I want the real Mr. October; with the real awards. And I don't mean Reggie Jackson. So pose, Fishboy."

CJ set his Pulitzers in front of his groin and began to take off her own clothes.


	84. Soul and Body

**Soul and Body**

CJ/Danny, mentions of Josh/Donna, Abbey Bartlet

Rating Adult –

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

Note: I had planned to call this chapter "Body and Soul" but then remembered that Laura already claimed the title

_December 15, 2017; Santa Monica, CA; 3:15 PST_

"Mama, you stink too! Pee-you!"

Caitlin Concannon held her nose between her thumb and forefinger. CJ laughed as she rubbed Caitlin's hair with a hand towel.

"I know, and I'm going to take a shower, too, in a minute. But at least I didn't have half the yard's dirt on my face, arms, legs, and neck like you did, Kitty-Cat!"

The two of them had been planting poinsettias in the flower bed around the fountain in the courtyard. It was an unusually hot and humid day and although the dirt on CJ was contained to her hands and nail beds, she had been sweating as much as the child.

CJ's mobile rang with the first few notes of "A Londonderry Air".

"It's Daddy," she announced, unnecessarily, to her daughter. "Go get dressed."

"Hey, honey," CJ addressed into the phone. "What's up?"

"My blood pressure; my temper. Listen, do you think you palm the kids off on someone for a little bit?" Danny asked.

"I'll do my best."

"Call me back if you can't, okay?" Danny asked.

"Sure thing." Then CJ began to worry a bit about what might be going on with her husband. "Anything I need to have ready for you? A drink?"

A fourth emotion joined the heaviness, the exasperation, and the controlled anger she had perceived in his voice. Need.

"Just you, CJ. Just you."

Okay, it was going to be like *that*.

CJ knew that Diana was home because she had dropped off Paddy about 20 minutes ago, so she rang the house two doors up the block.

"Just got off the phone with Danny. Okay if I send the kids up to you for a bit?"

"Sure," Diana answered with a light laugh. "Frank's got maneuvers tonight. Carmen and Steve have dates and Mike is caroling with the teen group at church, so it's just me and Maggie. How long?"

"Could we leave that open?" CJ asked.

The unspoken understanding passed between the two women, one married ten years, the other a bit more than twice ten.

"Sure."

Five minutes later, CJ was watching out the door as the kids walked up to the Muñoz place. She waved to Diana and then went inside.

Ten minutes later, after her shower, she walked into the bedroom and started to pull open her underwear drawer.

"Why bother with bra and panties?" CJ told herself, shutting it again, and reached for a yellow print sundress.

Glancing over at the bed, she shrugged her shoulders, pulled off the brocade quilt, and turned down the top sheet. It was too hot to be on anything other than 600 count cotton.

Assuming Danny made it across the courtyard.

CJ heard the sound of the garage door opening and walked toward the sound.

Ten minutes later, she was lying on the bed, her hand carefully playing with the pale red and gray hair on the head that lay between her breasts. Demons exorcised, at least for a while, Danny was softly snoring.

All the experts, be they caseworkers or clergy, had danced around the subject. Even Paul, who, in the talks he had given that spring after his marriage to Clara and their move to DC, had been so clinical about sex, had been circumspect about this aspect of it. Only Abbey Bartlet had put it all in plain, simple, and graphic words.

"Sex – intercourse – plays many roles in a marriage. Love, of course. Comfort. Reassurance. Plain old physical need. A tension release. And of course, lust.

"But it can also be a means of releasing anger, even rage, that one cannot, or should not, release in other ways, or toward other people, most likely the ones responsible for the anger or rage. At some point, not at first, because you have to build up the courage, build up the trust, build up the security, you will need to be able to deal with that in each other. You will need to implicitly trust that he or she will know the fine line between intense and rough, that he or she can and will cherish your soul and your body while using them. And you will need to implicitly know that he or she wants you, when needed, to use his or her soul and his or her body. It must be the deepest degree of trust possible between two people."

Looking back, CJ figured that this was maybe his third time. For her, the count was two.

She felt the bed shift, felt his head lift off her body.

Sighing, Danny lightly kissed her mouth and pulled himself up on the bed so that his eyes were level with hers.

CJ smiled slightly and waited for him to begin.

"You know, back in October, when I said 'yes' to taking over the department chair, we left open the idea of keeping it permanent if Stu Burton didn't want to come back afterwards, but now, if he decides to move on, I'm going to tell the dean to look for someone else."

CJ kissed Danny's mouth.

"Because?" she asked.

"Why is it that a group of intelligent adults, all of whom have advanced degrees – doctorates – from the finest academic institutions in all the land, yea, all the world, can be such, such - ", Danny struggled for the right words.

"Babies?" CJ asked.

"Selfish, immature, egotistical brats."

"Well, I don't know why one should expect more out of academia than we did out of politicians," CJ said, suppressing a giggle. It had to be serious, for Danny to have used her so forcefully and so quickly. "For example."

"First of all, there's the matter of getting in grades. The Registrar says everything should be graded within 48 hours of the final, or the deadline for the paper or thesis, if there isn't a final. After all, for a lot of scholarships and grants, continued aid for the spring term depends on keeping a certain average through the fall term. The Financial Aid office and the Student Accounting office can't finish their work and enjoy the break until they get everything finalized. But I've got at least three professors who are saying they can't be rushed, or that their plans are more important.

"Then there are the people who are still complaining that we put a limit on the bar at the department holiday party. No matter that it came down from the President's office, with the approval from the Faculty Senate. Four drinks in three hours should be plenty. In this day and age, the university can't take the chance of someone getting a DUI or worse, a vehicular homicide charge. The absolute immorality of it aside, our insurance premiums would go through the roof. And we still had the full range of alcohol, it was just that everyone got four tickets with their name on them, and had to show ID to use them. No buying extras."

"And the soft drinks were free," CJ observed. As the wife of the English department chair, she had been asked by the administrative assistant (a woman on whom Danny was depending on as much as CJ had depended on Margaret those final months of the Bartlet White House) for her input about the social event. CJ's only contribution, other than the free bevvies, had been to suggest that there be enough variety of food so that no one had to make dinner beforehand or supper afterwards.

"What else?" she asked Danny.

"Grading. Some folks prefer to grade on a curve, some like to give absolute grades. In most cases, that's okay. For myself, I prefer absolute grading, but to each his own.

"However, for the freshmen classes, the introductory survey stuff and the remedial stuff where there are a lot of students, where there are different sections taught by different professors, I don't think it's fair that two students doing the same quality work should get vastly different letter grades, just because one is average in a group of average students, and one is on the lower end of a whole slew of geniuses. So I told them, the professors, pick one way or the other. Four of the five agreed on absolute grades, but of course the one who wanted to grade on a curve refuses to go along."

And the fact that you don't like curves only increases the tension," CJ said, turning on her side.

"There are some curves I don't mind grading," Danny answered, his humor coming back now that he had gotten rid of his frustrations, first through sex and now through talking about them.

"I really like this curve," he said, tracing her eyebrow with his finger.

"This is very nice." The finger moved down her nose.

"And this." His lips followed the finger as it went from neck to left shoulder.

"I can see lots of possibilities here." He traced the line from the side of her breast to her waist, smiling as she reacted to the ticklish feeling, and once more, Danny sent a silent "thank you" to Paul Reeves for sharing that information.

"But the top grade goes to this one." His hand fell on her ass oh so lightly and then moved down toward the back of her thighs.

As always, her body reacted to the gentle ripple from the almost imperceptible slap as it moved through her from back to front.

Aware of what was going on in his wife's body, Danny pushed his thigh between her legs and hard up against her. He repeated the gentle smack but this time, instead of moving down, he used his hand to hold CJ tight against his leg while she spasmed two or three times.

CJ smiled. It wasn't an orgasm, really, but it felt good.

Stretching, she made a move to pull away from him.

"Not so fast, young lady," Danny teasingly scolded, we aren't done here. I have an unfinished task, as I recall."

Something else Abbey had shared with them a decade earlier.

"After a while, your bodies may, should, actually, get good with each other. Your bodies will learn to respond to the right stimulation independent of your emotions. That may not always be a bad thing, depending on circumstances, but it's not something inconsequential, it's not something to ignore. You need to deal with it, or at least talk about not dealing with it, when it happens."

As with most things, Abbey had been right – over the years, several times, less than 50 but more than 10. A lot of times, the situation was remedied right away, but there were times when time (or a screaming child) required that a rain check or an apologetic kiss be given, so to speak. This afternoon had been one of those times. Her body had become skilled enough to take a climax even if her husband did not give her an orgasm.

CJ smiled and brushed Danny's hair from his forehead.

"You don't have to, honey," she said. Her head might not be in the absolute best place, but her body wasn't aching with desire.

"But I want to." Danny's voice became hoarse. "I need to."

He reached for a pillow and, positioning it on a level with CJ's thighs, gently pulled her onto her stomach.

Danny's whispered words of love came out in warm breaths which stirred the hair at her ear. His soft, wet kisses on her neck intensified the feelings that were caused by the fingers of his right hand as they moved between the pillow and her groin to their goal. And as his body came over her, protecting her without crushing her, as his engorgement gently parted and penetrated her, CJ let herself go, ready to receive what Danny wanted to, needed to, give her. This time, her soul would go where her body went.

_Later that night_

Can I come sleep with you and Mama, Daddy?"

"I don't know if you **can**, but you **may** not," Danny said with a gentle laugh.

CJ stirred. It was dark; before her eyes could adjust to the room and check the bedside clock, she once again heard her daughter's voice come over the baby monitor.

"What if the horsies come back?"

"Well, I don't think they will, but if they do, look, here comes Destiny. She'll send them away, won't you, girl?"

CJ thought it was amazing how the yellow lab instinctively knew which child needed her presence more. Earlier in the evening, Paddy had been sulking a bit because he had wanted to spend the night with Maggie and was a bit put out when Danny had come up the street to fetch the kids. When CJ had put the kids to bed, Destiny was curled up on Paddy's bed, his head against the little boy's back. But, apparently, Caitlin had had another nightmare and now Destiny had left the boy's room for his sister's.

About a week ago, Caitlin had started having nightmares again, this time about rampaging horses. Two nights ago, the little girl had thrashed about so violently that she had fallen out of bed and hit her head against the nightstand, so CJ and Danny had decided to pull out the old baby monitors in order to keep track of any distress.

Whether it was tiredness, or subconscious awareness that Danny was on top of things, CJ had slept through the onset of this latest event.

"Will you stay with me for a while, Daddy?"

"Okay, for a bit".

CJ heard Danny start to sing "Too Ra Loo Ra Loo Ra" and she could just see him stroking Caitlin's hair.

Earlier, after the second time making love, Danny had kissed CJ and told her that he would go get the kids and take care of supper. When she told him that Diana was more than willing to keep them for the night, Danny shook his head.

"I promised Caitlin I would make her IHOP pancakes for breakfast this weekend, and we won't have time on Sunday," he said. "I need to do it tomorrow."

About two months ago, they had stopped for breakfast at the restaurant chain on the way up to Napa and Caitlin wanted the strawberry cheesecake pancakes. Covered with gooey glaze and mounds of whipped cream, the meal was a conscientious mother's nightmare, but Danny said that he and his daughter would split it "just this once". A week later, he had concocted a less caloric, less toxic version, using fresh strawberries, sugar-free jam, and a mixture of ricotta and plain yogurt in place of the whipped cream.

Danny certainly had it bad, as far as Caitlin was concerned. There wasn't anything, within reason, that he wouldn't do to make her happy. Not that there was anything wrong with it. It wasn't as if Caitlin exploited the situation the way Joannie Lyman tried to do with Josh. CJ admired the way that Donna was able to keep her cool whenever Joannie tried to go behind her mother's back to Josh get things the little girl knew Donna would not give her (an extra hour before bed, a dubious "sick day" from school, another doll or toy, etc.). And of course it helped that, in the end, Josh would side with his wife rather than his little girl. ("Joshua knows what's good for him, even if Joannie doesn't know what's good for her," Donna said.)

And CJ was sure that Danny was still upset over the spanking that he and CJ had had to give Caitlin recently.

About a week ago, come to think of it, CJ realized, right around the time the nightmares started, Caitlin had torn apart one of Pammie's Barbies, taking off the arms, legs, and head. When confronted with the evidence and asked why, Caitlin denied that she had done so. Even when told that Paddy and Maggie had witnessed the event, Caitlin continued to blame a "mean man in metal with a dark beard". Finally, their patience exhausted, CJ and Danny had told their daughter that lying about it was worse than doing it and, as they had done with Paddy, each of them smacked her butt once.

Caitlin's reaction to the punishment was minimal; her eyes went dull for an instant and then she silently left the den and walked across to her room. Danny had put his hands to his face for a few seconds.

"Please, God, I don't *ever* want to have to do that again."

The next day, Caitlin was back to normal, but Danny was still being extra nice and solicitous of his daughter.

CJ had been, and still was, concerned about the violence of what Caitlin had done and what it might imply about the little girl's psyche, but she had sensed immediately that it was not the time to bring up the subject with Danny. Instead, the next day, she placed a call to Linda Tallchief and discussed her anxiety with the pediatrician. Based on that conversation, CJ then called Aisling, the budding psychiatrist, and the two of them arranged for a supposedly casual visit from Danny's niece and Caitlin's godmother after the holidays.

Over the monitor, CJ heard the door to Caitlin's room softly open and close. A few seconds later, the master bedroom door did the same, and a few seconds after that, she felt the mattress give way as Danny came to bed.

"Another nightmare?" CJ asked unnecessarily.

"Yeah. Listen, I'm going to call Aisling, ask her what she thinks." Danny answered.

"Good idea," CJ said, smiling to herself. Funny how things had a way of working out. Sometime later, he and she would discuss their ffears about their daughter in more detail. Sometime later, they would talk more about Danny not wanting the extra burden of being the English Department chair. It was somthing they had learned over the years - knowing that they could talk about it was as good as talking about it.

Danny pulled CJ into his arms and kissed the top of her head. "Good night, darling."

A few years ago, he most likely would have made love to her a third time. A few years ago, she might have worried if he hadn't made love to her a third time. Whether it was the strength of a ten year marriage, the tiredness of two bodies in their fifties, or a combination of both, it was okay that he hadn't.

Normally, she would have turned the other way, nestling her back and her ass against Danny's chest. But tonight, CJ stayed facing him, her head against his warm, fuzzy, chest, feeling encased in his arms. This man loved her with his body and his soul. She fell asleep, glad that she had been able to give him hers.


End file.
